#the way it literally holds up still and never even reall fell off

[fagmegumi]

Goddamn it you guys are we having a wtnv revival. Is this finally the moment

[diedbutterflies69]

Will you stay?- Bang Chan imagine.

Contains: friends to lovers au. , Divorce, smut, fluff, blindfolding, oral sex, explicit sexual stuff etc . Minors don't interact.

Never once on your life, you thought you could get your shit together and laugh genuinely at the worst in world. falling out of love is worse but it's even more worse if it's your it's not you who fell out of love. Married at 22 and the honeymoon phase hardly lasted for a year and by the age of 26 got yourself labelled as a woman who sabotaged her own marriage in thirst of money. Your ex husband was bitter about your success even before you got married. He thought as a woman, you just did bare minimum and got yourself a high positioned rank by sleeping with one of the rich rags. You tried hard enough to hold on to that rotten red string , but he had the scissors and just cut you off. You weren't willing to sacrifice your career just because of his Immature mindset, yes you loved him, but can't a women love her own hard achieved success more? That's the question you wished to ask everyone who pointed there fingers at you. After divorce you didn't feel pain just numbness. Your self-hatred coming more stronger than ever, even hating the job, you tried Saving since years, getting life on track seemed impossible and at the end just quitted. Moved out of the city just to move back to your home town, the root of your real pain. It wasn't really a town but rather a more flashy city, expensive shits which you were unable to afford in childhood but now it wasn't any big deal. Earth is round and sometimes precious people find you all by themselves. Your highschool friend, the only friend you had throughout your lifetime because of your anti social tactics.

Bang Chan, the social butterfly who almost knew every single student in whole school, he was the hottest guy you ever saw in your life and also the kindest. You had crush on him even before you both were friends, he was your senior,used to help you with those shitty math sums, crack jokes every now and then and scolded you whenever you procrastinated. He came to congratulate you even on your graduation day, even though there were many more students whom he met you were still glad atleast someone bought you a beautiful bouquet of tulips and bellflower. The last time you saw him was before you moved out in search of cheap collages without informing him, as you thought you were just one of many friends he had and won't ever notice someone like you existed.

But god, how much wrong you were.

You met Chan after almost 9 years in convince store and his reaction was almost priceless , like finding treasure. He was now more handsome, beautiful and god-like even after all this years his style of dressing didn't Changed much, he still looked like Kim Kardashian at 2021 met Gala. nevertheless his smile still had those healing properties with his Cresent moon eyes. He was absolutely stunning.

The first sentence he spoke after confirming your identity was 'I missed you' and then tons of lectures and questions . Knowing how narrow-minded you were he gasped dramatically. Cheesiest ways of saying how could I forget my best friend and so on. That day was probably the best day of your life and maybe even the day after years you really smiled. You both exchanged numbers and addresses and his home was just 10 minutes away from yours. Destiny indeed.

Now it's been over 7 months since you met Chan again and he never made you felt like you were just one of his 109 friends. Chan made you feel special, after knowing what kind of disaster you faced he was even more supporting of you, you both used to spend weekend together watching variety of shows and movies going to stargazing, best friend goals. After many years you knew even if Chan had many people to confide with he never really did. He was alone, just a night owl obsessed with work. You were happy. And he was happy too. Being just friends was enough for you, but not for him . He was slowly trying to find courage to confess his love to you. He liked you fuck from highschool days. He found you once randomly staring at him across the room and when you suddenly disappeared all his fantasies were scattered, he knew your dreams and was willing to help you with your every step. knowing how messed up your household was from your neighbours he felt guilty for not being able to give you happiness. He loved you, but was helded by his own insecurities.

Not anymore though, he wasn't the same coward who just stared at the love of his life from distance. Being the extra human he was, he bought you one of the most expensive restaurant of the whole country, man was loaded. After driving for almost 5 hours you both finally reached there .

Now a nervous Chan sitting infront of you. You being oblivious to the fact that he has a beautiful diamond ring and a confession to make. Chan handed you the menu card and every single dish had an extraordinary name, without much thought you placed the order.

"atleast tell me now, why are we here?" You asked the man infront of you who was behaving extra weird today, he looked sick and was occassionally asking you random questions.

"No reason, I was in mood for long drives and... You know have a nice meal" Chan said fidgeting with his fingers he was acting like a flustered high school guy it was clearly indicating that he was lying but you didn't really care, Chan was weird sometimes.

"Sounds fake, but okay. By the way you aren't sick right?" You asked Chan out of pure concern as he was sweating profusely even in an cold AC room.

"I am fine, just feeling a little hot. Don't worry", Chan said it was more like he was convincing himself that he was fine and shouldn't worry. He wasn't a teenager but a human with responsibilities who once again fell for someone out of his league, he used to think that and he still sees you as a literal goddess. While he was lost deep in his thoughts, the waiter came with food , and this was his opportunity to shoot his arrow. You both started eating and talked like being in paradise.

"did you liked anyone in highschool?", Chan asked you out of blue making you almost choke on food. The only person whom you liked throughout your highschool days was the guy sitting infront of you and you didn't really remembered much guys and the best answer was probably saying a lie with little truth.

"no one lol", you answered trying to sound chilled but since highschool crush topic was out you weren't able to keep your curiosity with yourself.

"What about you, liked someone?", You asked trying to sound nonchalant and not desperate and bitter.

This was the Exactly the conversation that Chan planned in his mind. And here started his way to either heaven or pit of rejection.

"I loved someone", Chan said and you this time you really choked from the depth of your heart, you thought Chan was anti romantic type of guy as he never talked about of his female friends with you or bragged about his non existent dating life. Trying again to not sound jealous or bitter you spoke again.

" Who was that lucky bit-- I mean girl yes girl? Who was she?", You asked, almost letting out the bitch loudly. You weren't sure but you saw Chan smiling cheekily, he was really getting old acting weird more and more everyday.

"Well... Someone from our school",Chan said and you swear you didn't made a disgusting face showing pure jealousy. The best human in your life and your first ever crush had crush on somebody, you didn't knew why you were feeling so fucking bitter but you weren't able to handle the curiosity anymore.

"Tell me her damn name", you asked Chan in a frustrating tone not being able to keep jealousy to yourself.

"Why you being angry", Chan asked followed by his small laugh.

"I am angry, just the food was a little spicy you answer me now, her name?", You answered Chan with your defenses up and still sticking with your previous question.

Chan in response got a little serious now,you thought he was being childish now, he wasn't a kid who was given a dare to name out his crush yet he was acting like one.

"You won't leave me right, I mean after I answer your question?", Chan asked you and you didn't knew what to say in response you were now a little sus about him.

"fine don't answer, keep secrets", you said and continued eating. The next thing Chan said made you now choke and die on food.

"I loved you and I still love you" Chan said looking down at the table head hanging down like his teenage self just confessed he watched porn infront of his parents. You were shocked, frozen and the your heartbeat 10x faster, you didn't knew how to react and tried to find humor in this extraordinary situation.

"Chan, you kidding right?", You asked Chan with a nervous smile on your face. Chan looked up at you , his eyes trying to find yours but you avoided the eye contact.

"I am serious, I liked you from HighSchool times, I saw you for the first time in library when you were looking at me, I swear you were so beautiful and even now after all this years after seeing you I can't, I can't help but fall for you all over again, sorry"

Chan confessed, his voice filled with sincerity and vulnerability his sentences were scattered here and there and incomplete explanation but still you understood everything he really poured his heart to you, you felt like crying even if you both weren't such stupid cowards back then, then today you won't have turned out a divorced women and Chan a guy who grew out lonely even if he had a world for him.

"What should I say Chan?", You asked Chan you were sounding like a girl whose bf told her to breakup even if the situation was exact opposite. Even if you love Chan , you didn't think about him reciprocating same feelings back to you. You were beyond insecure with your love emotions. One thing was sure you won't be able to love Chan without being a bundle on him. Your emotion Baggage was too big and you didn't want Chan to get his heart too with your stupid emotions.

"I love you and I will be really really good to you. Please try staying with me I will try really hard to earn space in your heart, please?" His confession was like literally begging. You weren't able to believe if he was real or not, if it was a dream that will end as soon as cruel morning comes, this felt like fantasy. Chan was a amazing man, he had everything money ,honour ,beauty a nice heart. He was like a character written by women so perfect so delicate yet strong, and he loves you this fact was enough for to lose your mind. but you thought you were a taint to his beauty, you were a character full of inferior complexes and a person too easy to dislike thats what illusion you made about yourself. A random extra in her own story.

"I will pay the bill, let's talk later", you said and walked away immediately to pay the bill leaving a clueless and disheartened human behind. Chan was able to see how you stopped yourself from saying love you too and throwing yourself in his arms. He wasn't same from HighSchool a guy who gets overwhelmed by his own emotions and gets unable to see others. He knew you had atleast a small space for him in your heart and to make a big room for himself he had to throw out all your insecurities and self hatred. He followed you like a lost puppy and he wanted to pay for food but you already did and now you were already out of restaurant searching for his car to get back.

Chan sitted beside you, without doing anything silence and awkward air surrounding you both.

"start the car", you said breaking down the silence, you were extremely worthless and trash as you made the only one person whom you love feel like nothing.

"Just answer me, will you try dating me please", Chan said his voice again passing draggers into your heart. Trying to form any logical explanation you spoke again.

"I am not looking for relationship right now, see Chan you are amazing, but I can't make you happy now and did you forgot that I am divorced, please understand" you said expressing your real insecurities and fear, fear of not being able to keep a man happy.

"you don't want relationship because you divorced that fucking trash of a man?", Chan asked he was getting frustrated you thought but he just wanted to make you happy and not deny what your heart wants.

"my mind isn't stable, I might just irritate you everytime with my mood, you will will get tired of me and leave me -- I don't want to be alone again I will die if you leave me", you confessed tears threatening to fall out of your eyes there wasn't any doubt that you loved Chan he filled the void in you in just months made you happy but you didn't wanted to just take and take and give nothing in return. Chan's hand found yours interlocking your fingers with so much delicateness that you might cry.

"you think so low of me, just stay by my side I will make you so happy that you will hardly get time to think about your past, trust me", Chan said his fingers slightly lifting your chin up to look into your eyes, you looked in his eyes filled with so much care and this was your last straw before breaking down in his arms.

"I love you, I love you so fuckin much, you were my first love my only friend, my everything, please-- please love me", you confessed tightening your arms around Chan, his scent making you feel safe and like home, his one caressing your hair and other wiping away the tears. Even though the scene was more like a dramatic clique scene whatever emotions you both felt was unexplainable.

"So you my girlfriend now hmm?"Chan asked you for first time in night his voice containing pure happiness and excitement.

"I have a sexy boyfriend", you said smiling from ear to ear against Chan's chest. The label boyfriend making your heart flutter, you didn't knew happiness like this can even exist.

"My love", Chan said his voice sweeter than honey, suddenly the night was more starry."now can we go home?" You asked Chan finally breaking the hug, reality hitted you now Home was 3- 4 hours away.

"I made a reservation in hotel, we gonna spend night there", Chan casually said making your heart jump out of your chest.

"pervert, you planned everything seriously", you said dramatically and giving him a playful digusting look.

"I booked two rooms", Chan said now starting the engine making you feel embarrassed. "Who is pervert now~" Chan said in air teasing you more.

The rest of the ride you both talked about anything and everything. Confessing how you used to find ways to always be in each others vision etc. Both of you finding a new thirsty side of each other. Nothing felt uncomfortable, it was happiness those inhumane laughs crazy tricks you both used to pull everything was heaven. After some time you both reached infront of a gaint hotel , it looked expensive af but regardless Chan knew how to waste money and you were tired of lecturing him about savings.

"let's go", Chan said removing your seatbelt and getting out of car to open the door for ya. He was being so cheesy gentleman and you were enjoying every minute.

"room 42 and 43" Chan said to the receptionist and she handed two keys to him. Thanking her then getting on elevator, you were a little disappointed that you weren't sharing room with Chan, yes you were pervert and total simp for Chan, he was too hot and your sexual drive was getting higher each passing second. The elevator doors opened and you got off. Chan handed you the room key and softly kissed your forehead, both you wished it was your lips.

"if you want anything, just knock okay?" Chan said in his lovely tone, I want you you internally screamed, nevertheless you gave him a nod and got inside that expensive room .

Starring at the ceiling while lying on the bed your mind was full of Chan, you knew he wasn't probably sleeping and was wasting time in watching random shit on internet and you were hungry, hungry for Chan, it wasn't your fault that Chan was so hot. Trying to fall asleep and fidgeting here to there you finally decided to knock on Chan's room door. A danger zone. You noticed how the door flunged open in less than few seconds.

"Hi" you said scratching back of your head and trying to think what next to say.

"Hi..?"Chan said being confused.

"there is cockroach in my room, let me stay with you" you said a clear white lie. Taking impulsive action were never good for you.Chan sighed before opening the door fully and signalling you to come. This was your happiest day ever.

"whY you lying", Chan asked you as you plopped yourself on sofa besides bed. He asked the sentence in a sarcastic way.

"Do you you wanna kiss me?", You asked Chan with a straight serious face catching him off-guard, you didn't wanted to waste more time, you wanted to do everything with Chan, yes fucking on first day of dating was a little too early but you fantasized about this gorgeous man since ages, in your eyes he looked total dom but his reaction to your question was making you doubt your thoughts.

"Are you sure", Chan asked you clearing his throat.

"Are you virgin?"you asked Chan, he was being too nervous.

"Obviously not"Chan answered you in duh tone, rolling his eyes. And it was getting awkward.

"The cockroach must have gone by now I should go, bye", you blabbered and got up ready to leave, you were about to open the door but Chan grabbed your hand and before you knew anything his hands were on your cheeks cupping them softly and his lips so close to yours, Chan's eyes were looking straight in your orbs , your heartbeat stronger than ever.

"Can I?", Chan asked your consent his thumb softly brushing against your lower lip. This man had totally made you insane, something stirred inside you. Chan was perfect he was everything you wished. You gave him a small nod and slowly his lips touched against yours, you wanted to cry, his lips felt so good, he didn't rushed his movements everything was happening in slow motion, he holded you with such a vulnerability like he was afraid that you will go, your hand reached his head, fingers moving through his soft locks. You felt his tongue inside your mouth , you felt a electricity run down your body when the kiss deepened.

We kiss again. The next kiss is the kind that breaks open the sky. It steals my breath and gives it back. It shows me that every other kiss I’ve had in my life has been wrong.

Breaking the kiss Reluctantly in need of air, Chan rested his forehead against yours. He was hot almost like burning, sweating.

"Why are you so nervous, Chan?", You asked Chan hugging him tightly clinging like the last leaf to the tree.

"I am scared, I just love you", He said engulfing you in his arms. And you Finally felt, what real love feels like.

"Love you too", you replied softly.

"Do you wanna continue..?"Chan asked you his tone little less scared.

"Off course", you said looking at him with smile, something inside you told it was okay to let out your freaky side infront of Chan. Chan smiled back and suddenly turned you around , the large bed infront of you.

"Lie down there",Chan whispered in your ears , his low register sending shivers down your spine. This was exactly how you pictured Chan to be, your inner submissive almost died. You followed Chan's word and laid on your back on the bed, now you were feeling like a virgin. His eyes roaming through the room in search of something.

"Are you okay with being blindfolded?", Chan asked you as he came back with the tie he wore today and was rolling it slightly in his palms, and you swear you never saw a man so hot in your entire life. Getting blindfolded was one of your unfulfilled kinks.

"ye- yes", you replied your tone filled with thrill and excitement. Chan came back to you standing near you, his hand softly cupped your cheeks , before bringing the tie to use it in sinistrous way tonight. The cloth felt strange to your eyes, his cologne smell hitting you and Chan caught your shy smile, His heart felt so fluffy. Tieing a comfortable knot Chan sat on bed near your waist. His hands slowly crept near your stomach leaving a direct lingering touch on the sensitive skin, eventually going upwards while giving a little squeeze to add stimulation, his hands reached your boobs, you didn't wore bra, and he wasn't surprised maybe your nipples perked up enough to get noticed, his middle and index finger Rolling your sensitive bundle of nerves, the blindfold making his every touch more intense, your breath was heavy you let out a suprised moan when Chan gropped your right boob in an erotic way, this sole action increasing your wetness down there you were getting impatient. You moaned his name a little loudly when his lips came in contact with your sensitive neck, sucking in a painful way, inorder to leave a hickey.

"Should I touch you here", Chan asked you as his hand reached to your area where you needed him to the most, hands going directly inside your panties ,but not touching he was a teaser.

"yes please", you moaned almost breathlessly too tired of intense foreplay. You just wanted Chan to rip off your clothes and fuck you till sunrise. Getting satisfaction with your answer Chan finally removed every clothing of your lower body, leaving you completely bare, all at his mercy. His finger moved up and down on your opening , the wetness making Chan easily slip his one finger deep inside you.

" my baby is so wet, because of who?", Chan asked you as his finger was moving slowly inside of you and thumb rubbing circles on the bundle of nerves.

"because of.. you", you admitted without any hesitation trying to grind yourself on his hand, begging for more.

"Good", Chan said and without saying anything he added another finger inside you moving a little faster inside your cunt, rubbing your walls with a little pressure, scissoring them inside you painfully and making way for a third finger too and by then you were a complete moaning mess, his fingers were pleasure yet torture the blindfold making your senses weak. Mind full of whatever Cham was giving you. Your legs were shaking sign of your orgasm approaching you, by one hand Chan holded your thighs tightly to their place fingers now moving more faster to make you reach the peak of pleasure.

"Chan.. I--I-I-- wanna cum please", you moaned your little squeaks and begs almost making Chan's cock cum right inside boxers. With some final thrust of his fingers, you cummed the hardest you could imagine, squeaky sounds coming as Chan was fingering you through your orgasm, you almost crying from overstimulation. Moaning his name like a chant.

"you did well",Chan praised you finally removing his fingers from you leaving you empty, but it won't have last wrong. Chan removed your blindfold , the bright lights hurting your eyes, you adjusted your vision and the image of Chan sucking his wet fingers coated with your liquid came directly in front of your eyes. Letting out a helpless whine.

Chan plopped himself on knees on either side of your thighs, finally letting his cock out, leaking with precum, and he was big, thick , you didn't thought he could get even hotter.

"Ready baby?", Chan asked you as he fully undressed himself as well as removing your top, your mind hazey . The scene which you pictured since highschool finally happening.

"yes", you replied Chan, he came down to kiss you passionately and slowly entering inside you. You moaned painfully, tears pulling your vision, it was a painful pleasure. Chan kissed away your tears and hand interlocking with yours after finally being fully inside you he started to move at slow pace.

"you feel so good Chan", almost screaming from pleasure, your whines were fuel to Chan's ego and he increased the pace. Body slapping sound filling the room, his groans were most sexy thing you ever heard. Again and again his tip hitting your deepest spots.

"I am close", you moaned out breathlessly, pleasure becaming too much to handle .you released around his cock, reaching the peak second time at night.

After giving a few more thrusts Chan cummed at your stomach, he was still sane enough to not curse you with kids while being lost in pleasure."I love you", he said as he settled beside you hugging you tightly. This was heaven.

"love you too", you said , your voice a little hoarse.

"by the way I forgot that I bought a ring to propose you", Chan said, realisation hitting him, that he forgot to say the long ass paragraph that he was supposed to say while sitting on one knee. You smiled at his guilty face.

"don't worry, propose me after having shower", you said heart filled with pure joy and happiness . Happiness of knowing that You love someone who will always love you back.

[lloydskywalkers]

Heyo! Hope your doing exceptionally well, wonderful and ur staying safe! I was reading ur little oneshots for the movie! Verse and instantly fell in love! Think u have anymore for Kai and Lloyd? (But u don’t need to listen to this, obviously hehe) Have a splendid day!

ahhH thank you, I hope you’re doing well too!! :D oh man it’s been so long since i’ve written something for movie-verse, but I’ve had this little snippet in my head for a while so I guess it’s as good a time as any (and it is, of course, about kai and lloyd bc when is it noT)

it’s a little different than what i usually write, for movie-verse? but i hope it fits the bill! (takes place pre-movie, btw)

Of all his friends, Lloyd thinks Kai is most like the sun. Not just for his codename, and the enthusiasm with which he brings fire to the team, metaphorically and far too often literally, but for how bright he is. Kai reminds Lloyd of the sun at full force, strong and blazing and staunchly refusing to let anyone hide from his warmth. An endlessly combusting ball of stubbornness and passion.

Kai also reminds Lloyd of the sun in the way that he possesses about the same amount of brain cells the sun does, which is zero, because the sun has no brain — much like Kai.

“Hey, ru—de, ow, stop—”

Kai’s petulant response strangles off in cracked pain as Lloyd hushes him, simultaneously pulling the alcohol-soaked cloth from his arm with a sympathetic wince.

“Sorry, sorry,” Lloyd murmurs, wringing the edge of the cloth. “But I’ve gotta — it’ll get infected, if you don’t—”

“Nah, s’okay,” Kai says, breath hissing out through clenched teeth. He gives Lloyd a wavering smile that could almost be encouraging, were he not bleeding over Lloyd’s faded bedspread. “Just caught me off guard, I’m good now. ‘Sides, the — the stitches are gonna be worse, so—”

“It won’t be that bad,” Lloyd promises him, cleaning the rest of the deep slashes that run across Kai’s arm as quickly as he can. The lower ones aren’t so bad — he could get away without stitches, maybe. It’s the uppermost one that scares Lloyd, cutting deep enough into Kai’s skin to pose a threat. And Lloyd has no intention of leaving Kai anywhere near in danger, especially with the reason he’s hurt in the first place.

Lloyd swallows against the thick lump that suddenly forms in his throat, trying to banish the flood of emotions that have been rising since the battle against his father’s forces earlier. Surprise, shock, gratitude—? A swirling maelstrom of a deep-seated kind of aching warmth Lloyd is utterly unfamiliar with. It leaves him off-kilter, and words don’t come easily as they usually do.

Not that words ever come easily to Lloyd, but normally he isn’t quite this stuttering. Maybe. He hopes not. Maybe he’s just hyperaware right now, after everything, and he always sounds this embarrassing.

“I promise,” Lloyd continues, yanking himself from his thoughts as he busies with the needle. “I’ve got a lot of experience, and I’ll be gentle.”

Kai watches Lloyd threading the needle with a thinly-veiled fear, but he nods, the bravado Lloyd’s more familiar with making its way across his face. “Nice,” he says. “I trust you, Dr. Lloyd.”

Lloyd’s hands falter with the needle for a moment, before he resumes sterilizing it, ducking his head. Kai sounds like he means it — Kai sounds like he means everything he says, but the way he says trust hits differently, for Lloyd.

They’ve only been a team for few months, now. Not very long at all, to form any kind of trust in the son of your greatest enemy. Lloyd’s been going to school with some of the same people since kindergarten, and they’ve never looked at him with anything kinder than hatred, much less trust. And yet Kai is here, offering him his bleeding arm in Lloyd’s tiny room, trusting him to repair the damage he only took because he was protecting Lloyd.

Lloyd doesn’t understand. He doesn’t — people don’t — but his team—

They listened to him. Actually listened to him, to Lloyd. They actually listen to him in general, have since they were all thrown together in this odd little grouping, but it hasn’t quite hit home in the way it did tonight, when he’d snapped orders at them in barely-restrained panic, Kai’s blood staining his fingers as he’d staunched the knife wounds meant for him.

They hadn’t flinched back at his raised voice. Lloyd never raises his voice — he’s learned to keep it quiet, soft, unassuming. Even the slightest slip of frustration is enough to send anyone around him murmuring in suspicion, eyes narrowing and hissed whispers of just like his father filling the air.

Lloyd’s voice had been sharp and strained, barking across the rooftop, and they’d listened. No one flinched back, no eyes widened in fear — they’d just listened. They’re still listening, carrying out Lloyd’s orders without question, and it’s — it’s dizzying, if Lloyd had to put a word to it.

Cole and Zane are taking care of clean-up — something Lloyd will have to thank them for later, profusely. Neither were particularly happy about letting Kai out of their sights, but Cole and Zane are better at keeping each other steady than anyone else. It was the right call, Lloyd knows it was. Hopes it was.

But Lloyd hasn’t been having much faith in his calls, tonight. Not after Kai went down.

He swallows, focusing on the sounds reverberating from behind his closed door. Nya and Jay are talking with his mother, Nya’s louder tones easier to hear as she laughs. Lloyd knows her well enough to catch the strain in it, but he knows it’ll fool his mother. They’re distraction — Lloyd’s house was closest, and he’s got the best supplies stashed there. No one questions why he’s the one with the fully stocked medical kit, but Lloyd suspects they’ve all drawn their own conclusions.

He wishes they’d believe him, when he says it’s because he’s worried for them. He grew up with Wu as his uncle, who picks fights on a daily basis — with Morro as his cousin, who picks fights on an hourly basis. Lloyd knows the importance of having the good kind of medical supplies.

He finishes prepping the needle, squeezing Kai’s wrist briefly in warning. Lloyd’s not usually a tactile person — not that anyone would let him be — but he knows Kai soaks up touch like a starved sponge, and Lloyd’s desperate to give any kind of comfort he can before he starts with the needle.

Kai swallows, fixing his eyes firmly on the faded glow-in-the-dark stars plastered across Lloyd’s ceiling.

“Okay,” he says, his voice tight. “Bring it on.”

Lloyd swallows, steels himself, and sets the needle against his skin. Kai flinches at the first prick, eyes squeezing shut briefly, but otherwise he doesn’t move, jaw set stubbornly as Lloyd moves quickly. For his part, Lloyd keeps his eyes locked on the stitches, his hands steady. For all that Lloyd’s made up of bouncing nerves half the time, his hands rarely shake. Never when patching wounds up. He’s always been proud of how steady he can hold a needle, and tonight is no exception.

It’s the least he can do.

Kai suddenly tenses up, a broken-off noise strangling in his throat. Lloyd’s heart twists, but he stays steady, rallying himself. Conversation — Kai likes talking, right? Distraction, he can do that.

“So, um,” Lloyd stutters. On second thought, he’s awful at small talk. But — for Kai. “The way you took down that last guy was, it was really cool. Where’d you learn that?”

Kai bites his lip, exhaling shakily before he answers. “I train too, you know.”

Lloyd’s mouth quirks, despite himself. “Not like that.”

“What, a ninja can’t — can’t get creative,” Kai replies, through half-gritted teeth. Lloyd doesn’t say anything, but Kai rolls his eyes, continuing. “Fine. When I was younger, I ah…might’ve taken a few dance classes. For Nya! ‘Cause I couldn’t let her go alone, y’know, but they were — they were kinda fun, I guess, and maybe they slip into fighting, sometimes.” His cheeks darken, and Lloyd bites back a quiet laugh.

“Nothing like Cole, obviously, ‘cause he’s an actual dancer, but — that’s where I got it from.” He pins Lloyd with a glare, that’s somewhat dimmed by the scrunched expression of pain on his face. “Tell anyone and you’re dead though, okay?”

Lloyd hums his agreement, too focused on the stitches to reply immediately. After a moment, though, he speaks up again. “I did some ballet, when I was little.”

“No way,” Kai says, sounding delighted.

“Yeah, way,” Lloyd says. “I’ve heard from a very reliable source that dancing backgrounds are useful, with ninja stuff.”

“Very reliable meaning your uncle,” Kai grins.

Lloyd shrugs. “Maybe,” he half-smiles. Kai suddenly sucks in another pained breath, but to Lloyd’s relief, it’s likely the last one. He finishes off the stitches with a well-practiced hand, snapping the end of the thread and exhaling in relief.

“There. All done.”

Kai’s eyes widen. “Seriously, already?” He glances down at his arm, his other hand moving up to touch the stitches. Lloyd smacks it away, glaring at him.

“Don’t touch. You still have to watch out for infection. I’ll text you instructions for taking care of it, and everything. Just don’t do anything, ah…”

“No ninja-ing?” Kai finishes for him, crestfallen.

“Probably a good idea,” Lloyd says, apologetic. “But it’s not too bad. Shouldn’t take long, and you can be out, uh, ninja-ing again."

Kai is quiet for a moment, regarding his stitches. Then he turns to Lloyd, who is immediately staggered at the bright smile that stretches across his face.

“Cool. Thanks, Lloyd. You’re good at this.”

Lloyd can’t answer, his throat burning. He forces the welling moisture back, looking away. Kai’s only hurt for him, and that is layered with so much more meaning than Lloyd can comprehend right now.

“No problem,” Lloyd mutters, focusing instead on the voices outside his door in an attempt to find footing again. He can hear his mom laughing at something Nya’s said, open and relaxed in a way his mom rarely is. Lloyd’s heart twists into knots.

He doesn’t deserve them, any of them. Not really.

If Kai reminds Lloyd of the sun, then the rest of the team reminds him of stars. All bright and shining, bursting with warmth in their own way. Maybe not quite at the blazing heat that Kai does, but Nya is a north star if Lloyd’s ever needed one. Jay’s a blinking constellation, scattered stars that form a complex whole much larger than you’d thought. Cole’s the kind of star you see first pop up over the horizon, blending with the oranges and purples of the sunset, like a painting you’d see in soft watercolors. Zane’s the early-morning kind of star, the ones that stay stubbornly after the night’s left, dotting the pale morning with a calm steadiness.

Lloyd would be a planet, he supposes, caught in faithful orbit around the five people who have somehow, for some reason, given him a chance. It’d be generous, though. No, Lloyd is content just to be a moon — with no light of his own, reflecting only the brilliance others give him the best he can.

Kai’s finger taps the edge of his forehead, snapping Lloyd from his thoughts, and he blinks in confusion.

“Lost you there, again,” Kai asks, words mangled through a yawn. “Where’d you go?”

Lloyd shakes his head, turning his attention back to the bloodied thread leftover in his hands. His stomach turns, and he quickly sets it aside. “Just thinking.” He pauses, momentarily lost for words. He settles for jerking his head toward the window, where the smoke trailing from their hard-won battle is still visible against the dark sky, and gives Kai a wry smile. “How much do you wanna bet the cheerleading team comes up with a new song tomorrow?”

It’s been an inside joke for them, the ridiculous songs Chen and his gang keep coming up with to throw at Lloyd, and normally it gets a laugh from Kai. This time, though, Kai is silent, his eyes searching as he stares at Lloyd. Lloyd shifts under the attention, caught off-guard again. He doesn’t know what kind of look this is, that Kai’s giving him.

“They shouldn’t talk about you like that,” Kai finally says. His voice is quiet, but Lloyd can spot the brewing anger in it. Kai’s always got anger to spare.

“Sticks and stones, remember?” Lloyd shakes his head. He’s learned, after a while, that anger changes nothing. “Words will never hurt me.”

“Words hurt when people are throwing sticks and stones at you while they yell about your dad,” Kai grumbles.

“No one’s thrown rocks since second grade, actually.”

“Hm.” Kai’s tone is a mix of thinly withheld anger and mild amusement. Lloyd tilts his head, confused, and Kai gives a huff, anger tugging loose.

“Y’know, people say that if kids throw rocks at you in second grade, it means they’ve got a crush on you.”

Lloyd knows well enough it’s a joke, but he flushes red anyways, heat spreading across his cheeks. “Yeah, sure,” he stammers. Kai laughs at his reaction, though, the odd kind of anger departing, and Lloyd feels he’s found his footing again.

They’re quiet as Lloyd finishes cleaning up the medical supplies, Kai nodding sleepily on his bed while Lloyd carefully washes the needle in the bathroom sink. Maybe he can convince his mom to let Kai spend the night, he thinks. Jay and Nya , too — their apartment isn’t very big, but it’s awfully late to make them walk home, and Lloyd is fine with taking the floor, if he needs to.

Lloyd nods to himself, resolving to ask her once he’s finished hiding the evidence. His mom’s been so thrilled about him having people over at all, he can’t see her saying no. A smile pulls at his lips as he listens to the conversation outside his door again. Jay’s rambling on now, bright and excited without any of his usual reservation. He feels a pang, wondering if Jay’s the same as him — wondering if they’re all the same, playing at muted caricatures of themselves, too fearful to let whatever lies beneath shine through.

He wonders what it means, that they’re the ones with the city in their hands, that weight on their shoulders. Wonders what it means, that Lloyd feels safer with bullets strafing the air around him and his mask on, than he ever has with it off. That Green Ninja will always, always sound better than Lloyd in his ears.

“Hey, uh.”

Lloyd starts at Kai’s voice, twisting the sink off as he turns to face him. Kai looks half asleep, but the smile he gives him is bright as ever.

“Thanks, seriously. Not just for this, but for looking out for us. You’re a good friend.”

Lloyd’s heart skips a beat, his brain latching onto the word friend and holding on tightly, tucking it somewhere safe inside his chest.

“So thanks, Lloyd,” Kai yawns, barely awake at all now, but still stubbornly clinging to the threads of awareness.

Lloyd’s got his own thank you to give back, twisted and strangled behind whatever lump’s formed in his throat, but Kai’s snoring before he gets the chance to say it. So Lloyd tugs the edge of his comforter over his friend — his friend — instead, and runs the words over in his mind again and again, like a treasured line from a book.

On second thought. Maybe Lloyd isn’t so bad. He’s only ever liked his name the way his mom says it, without any of the snapping, harsh emphasis others give it. In others’ mouths, Lloyd’s name is a curse. In his mom’s, Lloyd’s name belongs to a person.

But he thinks, maybe, he likes the way it sounds when his teammates use it, too.

[mikaze-discord]

OG Heavens: Love letters

For these Heavens posts, I had reached out to a few people who just never ended up responding. With projects like these, please at least hear them out, you don't have to do it because I know its a huge project but at least tell them you won't be doing it instead of ghosting them. But apart from that little road block, this project was really fun!!

Please enjoy under the cut!!!!

EIICHI OTORI

From @milkmateartist:

I have always leaned towards megane characters and Eiichi is no exception. However, it's not often you see idols wearing glasses, and that is something I appreciate about Eiichi's design. His color palette also intrigues me since I love deep shades of blue. His royal blue jacket is very attractive, and the way he pops the collar also makes me go "kya!".  His voice is also very sexy as well and is pleasing to the ear uwu. I love how egoistic he is too. Being incredibly ambitious he has been able to reach amazing heights that surpass other idols. The one thing that seems to make him unique though is that he really gets zealous and overly passionate when it comes to the power of music, so much that it makes him physically tremble. You could get high off that shit literally. His entire being is centered around being an idol, and all the components of him go above and beyond the requirements. It's not just a job for him or something that simply makes an earning or brings satisfaction. It's pretty much everything to him. For that reason he has made it to the top. There is also the component where he's lonely and isolated emotionally that interests me. Despite being a beloved idol, he clearly didn't get the love he needed growing up. Even though he had Eiji I feel as though his nature was more to protect Eiji and shield him from whatever terrors would arise. I admire his ability to come through all of that and pay attention to the things he really cared about. Eiichi can be himself, his strange, sexy self, but also he acknowledges the lonesome darkness within too. I think that component makes him incredibly powerful.

Extra Details:

While appearing to be a bad guy in the anime (at least), Eiichi seemed to be that typical bad boy idol that would steal away Haruka from the main group. The time when he approached Haruka and took her by the chin is a perfect example. How dare this new guy just think he can have his way with our protagonist!  To be honest I liked that aspect about him a bit. While I can't remember my first impression of Eiichi aside from not knowing how to feel about that, he slowly grew on me. He had the appearance of just another selfish idol, demonstrated by swiping the mic away from the announcer at one of his concerts and immediately declaring their foreseen victory. So far that looked rather bland to me, and I was still cheering for STARISH. They really made him out to look like some bad guy who would not play fair and do whatever he could to take the throne (and the girl).  It's not surprising his glasses shine adds to his 'freaky antagonist' vibe that the show seemed to try to give off, but however for me I love the glasses beam, thus having the opposite effect.

And then there is the Next Door episode. Now here's where we got to see more of Eiichi aside from when the HEAVENS Dragon demolished the entire stadium. Aside from kya-ing over the EiichiOtoya content (especially where he goes behind otoya and covers his eyes), I got to see more of him here. It surprised me that someone so cocky and confident was actually the same depressed, lonely person that Otoya was. But it was also evident to me as well that he did care about the effect it had on Otoya as well after he sort-of-well mind broke him. I like how he is ambitious but also still caring, as compared to an antagonist that would stop at nothing to achieve their goal regardless of how much pain they cause.

I also enjoy Eiichi because I feel like I can roleplay him well. Usually for me, roleplay has to achieve some kind of goal since I tend to be business oriented. I think to some degree I'm able to practice being a eboy idol through Eiichi, as I do enjoy charming the fans. It also helps that I can naturally play characters with an inflated ego who enjoy charming people.

From @/egoisticCEO on twt:

July 2019. When Eiichi was first introduced to me via his voice, I hated him from the very beginning. His singing, his appearance, his personality – everything about him made me despise him. It’s funny looking back and seeing how quickly my attitude changed towards him, realising I’d been biased against him because of a friend. Finding more about him, hate turned to interest. It seemed like his life hadn’t been the best. Maybe that was why he acted in such a way? Interest turned to liking him more. Maybe I’d misunderstood him. I’d made the mistake of taking him at surface level.

December 2019. Like was slowly turning to love. More and more, I found myself looking at him instead of my current favourites. I found myself wanting him to actually be a part of Egoistic. Once I started devouring HEAVENS Radio and unveiling his true character, it was shocking how quickly I fell. He truly acted like a father to everyone in his band. Giving them what he never received. Everything was for them to thrive.

2020. With how much I was at home, it only made sense I grew more obsessed. I found Life with Thanks’ translation. “We’re irreplaceable to him,” he tells us, and that made me certain that his heart wasn’t as evil as some people liked to believe. He’s a caretaker, someone who wants everyone to feel like they matter. Even at his own expense. Instead of selfish, he’s selfless.

I related to him more than I have to any character – it was comforting. Seeing someone have no choice but to put on a brave face, even when his confidence was at an all time low. 2020 got a lot harder for me, but when I recovered, Eiichi was like a home to go back to. Time and time again, I’d have to break away, but I’d always be invited back in by that stupid smirk and overexaggerated ego and the warmest heart you could ever find. Every scene I watched with him would make me smile. I’d tease him to myself. I still do.

2021. That brings us to now. I can’t see my love for this one of a kind man dying any time soon. I don’t want it to, either. Just looking at him makes me happy! He’s the type of character with so many facets to his personality that you can keep digging and never reach the end. So, in conclusion, I hope I never stop finding new things out about this wonderful idiot. More than anything, he deserves all the love he gives to others, and I’d love to provide it tenfold.

KIRA SUMERAGI

From Anon: 

Many have their reasons to love their favorite characters. As for me, why Kira Sumeragi is my favorite character is because there are several things about him that I can relate myself to and there are a few qualities he has that I like about him. If many do not know about Kira that much, they’d look at who he is. He may look intimidating at first and may not talk much, when in actuality, Kira is a considerate, dependable, and mindful guy. Mainly, he is the type of guy that lets his actions do the explaining. He is a hard worker, as an idol, he looks after his bandmates, HEAVENS, like family. It’s like what Eiichi said in HEAVENS Radio about Kira, “he is HEAVENS’ pride!” Although he may not say much, Kira is very observant of his surroundings and never hesitates in his decisions. The members of HEAVENS understand and acknowledge Kira, knowing that he means well.

You can even tell in his solo music! Although there are only two solo songs for Kira, if you read the lyrics carefully, Kira’s thoughts and feelings are shown. Kira always knew that if he cannot explain his feelings through words, then he’ll let his songs and his actions do it for him for you to see.  Although the anime doesn’t show much of Kira, the only way to get to know him more is through HEAVENS Radio, also drama CDs like Paradise Lost, and other media like LINE Messenger Japan. There’s still much that I’d want to know about him, but as a start, these things are what makes Kira my favorite character for HEAVENS.

From Anon: 

Aside from my huge bias towards OnoD the first thing that drew my attention to Kira was his design. Dark haired anime boys with bright eyes have such a vibe and I loved how mysterious he was set up to be in season 2. But the thing that really hooked me a lot was the found family that Heavens became over the progression of the anime.

Particularly since people in the fandom have a bunch of funky headcanons about Kira being the mom friend in the group, which is incredibly wholesome. Kira’s very quiet and reserved but clearly holds a deep caring for his group members and does what he can when needed which is one of the reasons why he became so loveable for me.

NAGI MIKADO

From @/_PXRFECTIONIST on twt: 

If I managed to stan Nagi, so will you.

Greetings. I present to you, once more, a story of how I came to love a character that I wished I threw hands with.

So.

Nagi Mikado.

The possible only utapri character that Shinomiya oshis despise. Thanks to what happened in the anime.

Truth be told, I too was one of them. Until I came to love Both Shinomiya and Nagi. Reason?

Research.

Ya see, it is universally agreed upon that the way Nagi was pushing and pulling at Shinomiya's trauma and DID was… Not okay. So I said "yeah okay what an obnoxious kid i dont think ill ever like him lol" especially since I never come to really warm up to people younger than me.

Boy was I wrong.

My heart really sways easily when I go deep into characters, and why they act the way they are. And also because I chose to roleplay as him, but let's not. Speak of that.

(its actually the main reason i like him in the first place who am i fooling)

Nagi is… Indeed obnoxious, and really has bad manners that are covered up by his cute looks and fame, especially since he's one of the original HEAVENS members, but once you get to really know him.. It makes sense why he's being such a brat. And that is sort of endearing. And knowing how his group is like family to him too, it becomes harder and harder to completely dislike him.

….

He really is a boss man.

He knows what he wants, and how to get it. He knows how to get people to like him without handing over the tiniest sliver of his weaknesses. He acts in his own way that shapes his personality to suit him, yet still manages to be caring and helpful, even if it's hard to see tenderness and good will through his aggression.

Reading his solo lyrics, listening to the drama CDs, even thinking of headcanons due to lack of lore, it all slowly comes together like a lovely parfait to suddenly make you realize..

'Wow…'

'I really do like that rat.

[shhhlikeme]

can I get hcs of kenma and tendou with a quiet and reserved S/O but she’s secretly really pervy? Nsfw maybe 👉👈 I love your writing!! (*^▽^*)

Thank youuu😘

You may! I‘m writing Kenma’s separately because my posts are too long so look out for pt. 2 later! Ps. Idk if it’s spelled ‘tendo’ or ‘Tendou’ so I might swap from time to time lol.

I literally love this one shot!

———————————

Tendou Satori x “Timid Girl by Day: Naughty Girl by Night” S/O

(Slight NSFW)

————————————————-

“I was in the chess club, too Y/N. State champ, 1984!” Exclaimed Tendou’s father loudly. His mother, who was sitting across from him at the restaurant dinner table beamed at him.

“She’s a keeper, Tendou. You better not do anything to lose her!” Satori’s mom reached over to hold onto your hand and you gave her a sweet smile, happy that you had won your boyfriends family over.

“I was state champ last year,” you mumbled to his family quietly and they practically gushed to death.

“How did our strange Tendou get you?” Questioned his mother rather rudely.

she shoulda kept that in the drafts

You shrugged, feeling the need to defend your love. “Tendou is the kindest, most gentle, honest boy I’ve ever met. I’m lucky to have him. Right, Ten?”

Your boyfriend Tendou had been staying out of yours and his parents conversation for the majority of the night, a little because his parents didn’t need any help in counting his faults but moreso because his girlfriend......had her foot pleasurably kneeding his crotch under the table. Very pleasurably, considering the man had a mild foot fetish. You were softly running the underside of your foot along his length that has hardened fully due to your ministrations. You used your foot to nudge his thighs apart and fondled his balls.

“Right, Ten?” You repeated.

Tendou looked at you across the table when you evilly invited him into the conversation, knowing that he wasn’t listening a damn.

“S-sorry w-what?” He pretended to cough quickly in order to cover his moan when you fondled his balls. You were literally going to make him cum and you haven’t even stuttered once when talking with his parents.

“Aren’t you listening?” His mother snapped.

“He never listens.” His dad muttered.

“Your parents were just saying how lucky you are to have me because of how quiet and reserved I am.” You gave him a sexy smirk and slowly grazed the length of his his member from top to bottom. Tendou had to increase the force of his coughing and look away because his eyes wanted to roll to the back of his head.

“Sweetheart, drink some water will you?” His mother waves the server over and points to the water pitcher.

“And Ten, I was telling your parents how you are the best boyfriend in the world because you......”

Tendou couldn’t listen to you when his thoughts were so consumed by lust. It wasn’t his fault that he hadn’t any more blood in his brain because it had all migrated south. He was so turned on by not only your movements, but the fact that everyone who knew you, including him, thought you’d be the last girl to be doing what you’re doing right now.

He fell in love with the shy girl in school—because you were so pretty and quiet and you spent all your lunches in the library like he used to do before Ushijima invited him to start joining him for lunch. You were very reserved, never choosing to roll your school skirt to make it shorter like all the other girls in school and Tendou saw that as endearing.

And you were nice to him. When he built up the courage to sit next to you and start a conversation, you were quiet but the nicest person he’s ever met..... Even though his personality should have scared you like it did everybody else.

you two started dating and you never changed from being mousy and reserved

That is.....until it came to anything sexual

Something intimate had only happened between you two once before and you had been interrupted by Tendou’s parents, but he caught a glimpse of your very strong naughty side

But even that brief moment was nothing compared to this

Touching him under the table while his parents were right there....this was one for the books

But what can you say? Your perversion came out like a bat of a hell when you saw Tendou so nervous introducing you to his family, looking so cute in his green tux. You’d never seen him so reserved but you knew it was because his parents weren’t his favourite people in the world. You don’t know why but seeing him like this made you want to make him orgasm, and he was rendered powerless to stop you

“Ten, are you not feeling okay honey? You haven’t been answering us.” You asked your redhead sweetly as you agonizingly-slowly removed your foot off of him and slipped it back in your flats. You gave him an innocent bat of your eyelashes.

Tendou held back his whine from your removal.

His parents asked Tendou if he needed to go see a doctor again due to his strange behaviour that he used to exhibit when he was young.

Satori only needed to see the doctor if they could give his gf a prescription of what to do with a bf’s serious case of blue balls.

Nevertheless, Ten tried to explain himself to his parents because the threat of seeing his childhood doctors was an absolute no.

“N-no I mean s-sorry! Y/N, parents, I-I’m fine, trust me—“

You interrupted him. “No, I don’t think you’re fine, Ten.”

“Yes I am—“

Irritated with him, you turned to grin at the older couple. “Mr. & Mrs. Tendō, your doctors are very unnecessary. I know just how to help your son,”

Tendou watched how you brought a glass to your lips after you spoke. You had asked the server for a straw earlier, which was pretty odd in a five star restaurant, but now Tendo knew why. With your eyes innocent and with his parents eyes on their son in worry, you took a sip of the water. Then, you slipped the straw further into your mouth suggestively. You circled your tongue around it for your boyfriend’s hungry eyes only. Tendou’s dick twitched under the table.

You rendered the sexy clown speechless momentarily. lets all applaud

“Son, I thought you got over that awful odd phase you’d been in because you got to Shiratorizawa....”

Your bf rushed to defend himself even though he barely heard his father. “Dad! I promise I have and that I’m fine! I don’t need any more help—“

“It’s nothing like that, Mr Tendo. But you do look like you’re a little under the weather, Ten. Maybe you need to leave early?” When your boyfriend’s eyes flicked back to you, you flicked the tip of your straw with your tongue— the same way you wanted to do to certain other tip.

How can your eyes remain so innocent as you do this?! Satori thought. Horny, annoyed with his parents, and confused, Tendou shook his head at his dad. “No! I’m okay, reall—“

You kicked him under the table. The idiot was not getting it! “No YOU’RE not, Ten. I think you’re feeling sick. With JUST a cold. And I think you need me to take you back to my house so I can nurse you back to health, correct?” You spoke slowly hoping your boy would finally get the gist.

Finally, that lightbulb turned on. 💡

Our cherryhead baby was like:

Bruh.

His eyes lighting up because the sexy redhead FINALLY understood your sexual innuendo, he nodded. His mind ran with thoughts of you and him in your bed: hopefully naked. Keeping up your impeccable sweeter than though charade that his parents ate right up, you turned to his parents. “I recently got my acceptance letter into the nursing program at Kyoto University.”

“What?!” Mrs. Tendō’s jaw dropped. She grabbed her husbands hand and squeezed it excitedly. “But that’s one of the top 2 Universities in Japan!”

You smiled, blushing shyly. Your boyfriend was shocked at how you are truthfully so insanely bashful and that it wasn’t an act with his parents. He couldn’t think about that for long though, because in that moment your foot unexpectedly grazed his erection again and it felt sooooooooooo good that he had to let out a strangled cough to cover his moan again.

You were happy with his reaction. “See, the poor thing is still coughing. Would you two mind if I took him home to help him? I promise he’ll be back to normal after.”

“Go ahead, chess champion, Kyoto U student!!!! Please keep our son and be a good influence on him!”

Satori couldn’t help but think, ‘Good influence?!’ As he bit back a moan of sexual frustration when you removed your foot again. He was embarrassed by how close he was.

“Great!” You smiled. “Let’s go, Ten sweetheart. The sooner we get home the sooner I can make you feel better.” You got up, straightening your humble dress and rounded the table so you were standing behind your sitting boyfriend. His parents began busying themselves with collecting their things.

From behind, you leaned over and whispered in your man’s ear,

“When we get to my house, I’m going to make you cum so hard that you’ll make a riddle about me, too.”

Your boyfriends eyes rolled back and his leg started tapping on its own like a dog wagging its tail.

Tendou’s parents were busy with the cheque.

“Our valet just pulled up so we are going to go now, but Thank you so much for joining us for dinner, Y/N.” finished his parents approvingly. “You are without a doubt the kindest, sweetest, most modest scholar we’ve ever met. And by some miracle you are dating our son! I hope you get out of that timid shell one day, Y/N, because you deserve all the praise.”

You blushed, giggling like a school girl as you hugged your boyfriend, just enough so that he could feel your boobs pressed to his back. He wagged his tail more.

“Thank you, Mr. & Mrs. Tendou. I promise that I shall work on my timidity and modesty.” On your son’s dick, that is, You thought to yourself, smirking because you were only a 10-minute drive to your house.

—————————-

Baby Kenma in part 2 later lol

[crowsvalentine]

One Hundred and Ten Years

Mates were sacred to the fae, but some weren’t as lucky as others to live the lives they were born to have together. 

Fenrys x OC (but mostly just Fenrys x friendship court stuff)

Words: 5029

Warnings: None

a/n: I literally wrote this from 6:00 pm to 3:30 am and it’s my first real fic for the tog fandom so I hope you guys like it. I fell in love with Fenrys and have so many headcanons about him floating around in my head and this is one that I reall seemed to stick to. Anyway, hope you enjoy! 

                                                   ______________

     He'd taken an arrow to his shoulder the first time he saw her. A Lady, a true lady in every sense of the title. She walked as if she were floating on air, smiled as if she were charming even the trees, she was in the Doranelle war training camps, but it was clear she'd gone through training of her own. Males, and females, couldn't seen to keep their eyes off her as she walked, an enchantress, he decided, that's what she was. She'd put a spell on her father's camp. However, the moment the arrow struck, her eyes flashed to him. No one seemed to notice the way her own hand rose to her shoulder, as if she could feel the impact of it as well. But he noticed, and despite the pain that now flared over his arm and chest, he smiled. When he woke up hours later, she was sitting there, eyes not leaving him even as he looked up at her. She raised a cup to his mouth, and laughed when he spit out the alcohol that was inside. He'd never heard a more beautiful sound, he'd drink from the cup a million times just to hear it again and again.  

     They'd talked for hours as he healed, talked as if they'd been friends, partners, for their entire lives. No one bothered them in his shared room, as if they too knew what was transpiring behind the closed door. Mates were sacred to the fae, they wouldn't compromise the mating of any of their people. Especially when they found their mates this young, not even half a century old and there they were. She took his hand in between her own, and he could only watch as she brought it up to her lips. 

     "I'll convince my mother to let me come back tomorrow," she promised. But just as she started to pull away, he sat up, ignoring the sting in his shoulder as he pressed his lips to hers. Her eyes were still closed as he pulled away, and he heard her beautiful laugh again when he pecked her cheek.

     "Tomorrow, then." 

     She'd come back, and then again, the day after that, spending as much time as she was allowed with him despite the impropriety of a Lady spending so much time in a training camp. Others in the camp always watched the two of them with amusement, sometimes they just walked about the camp talking, other times they were in their animal forms and they would play. However, even with the time they were granted alone together, they never went further with their mating. She always stopped him when he tried. 

     She'd known, somehow, known that he would be called to battle, had known that she wouldn't see him again for a long time. 

-

     When Fenrys woke up that morning, the last thing he wanted to see was Rowan. He pushed the prince away, grumbling about needing breakfast before he saw his ghastly face. Rowan only laughed and informed him about Aelin requesting his presence before he left the room. Only in their court would the Queen's consort act as messenger. Fenrys scoffed and sat up, not bothering to slip on any clothes as he moved to his adjoining bathing room. Washing the sleep from his eyes and face, he ran his still wet hands through his hair. A bath could wait, Rowan would probably drag him out still wet and naked and dump him in front of Aelin if he was late. He stared at himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth, taking in the scars that now crossed his face, he'd refused to let them heal when someone offered to do it for him. He liked the change. Spitting into the sink, he absently rubbed at his shoulder as he left the room, sighing when he found a servant waiting for him with court appropriate attire instead of his usual clothes.

     Five months. It had been five months since they'd won and already Orynth Castle seemed to be alive just as Fenrys imagined it had been a decade ago. Servants ran about and courtiers who Fenrys never bothered to acquaint himself with nodded their heads as he passed, the castle was alive with something that Fenrys had to wait to figure out. One servant walked carefully around him, holding a tray of tarts that she tried not to drop as she tried to walk as fast as she could, Fenrys smiled at her and bowed his head before taking one.

     "Little early for sweets, no?" 

     "If you're visiting then something special has to be happening."

     Elide grinned up at him as he pulled her into a one armed hug, not caring that Lorcan stood only a few feet away. He threw a wink over his shoulder at his friend, keeping his arm wrapped around Elide's shoulders as he led her towards the throne room. She shook her head when he offered her a bite, and he shrugged, stuffing the rest of it into his own mouth. He couldn't help but wish he'd stolen another. 

     It was a short walk to the throne room and Elide bid her thanks to the guards who opened the large doors for them. Before Fenrys could blink, Elide was already gone from his side, running towards the throne not bothering with formalities as she pulled Aelin into a hug. They hadn't seen each other since the Lady of Perranth had visited a few months ago, Aelin even offered Lorcan a nod over Elide's shoulder. She hadn't called on his blood oath, and wasn't planning to, so not even Lorcan spent a lot of time in the castle. From the scent of them, Fenrys could guess what the the two of them had been up to since they'd last visited three months ago. He frowned when he looked over at Lorcan, but quickly shook the thought from his head. Instead, he focused on the others in the room, the space was filled with the Lords, and Ladies, of Terrasen. They all stood around the large table in the centre of the room, talking and seemingly just as confused as he was about what was happening. He took his place next to Aedion, offering him a smile that he returned. 

     "What's going on?"

     "Aelin has an announcement."

     "Is she-"

    Aedion laughed, shaking his head. "No."

     Aelin took her seat again, and just as she sat the room seemed to quiet, everyone else taking their seats around the table as well. Even without wearing her crown, she still looked like a queen, exuded the powerful energy that Fenrys had felt the first day he'd seen her. The two of them stayed standing, however, just moving to stand on either side of their queen as she cleared her throat. 

     "I'm going to Wendlyn." 

     Everyone save for Rowan looked at her as if she'd grown another head. Three months, three months and she was already planning on leaving her kingdom. But in true Aelin fashion, she just smiled at her court, propping her elbows up on the table as she waited for them all to calm down. Fenrys only spared a glance at Rowan, who was smiling at Aelin. It was rare that Rowan ever smiled, he seemed to only save it for his mate, or Evangeline when she visited with Lysandra. Rowan's eyes flashed up to him, raising his eyebrows as his smile dropped. Fenrys just shrugged. 

     "I'm going to Wendlyn," Aelin repeated, "because I made a promise to Glaston Ashryver that I would visit, and he made his own promise to invade if I don't attend their annual masquerade ball."

     "But who will run things while you are away?" She motioned around the table, as if the answer was obvious. 

     "All decisions for the next few months have been made and Terrasen is in a good enough place for me to start strengthening relations with other Kingdoms. The Ashryvers are strong allies and if I have even one of them pissed off at me then there goes any chance of that alliance holding." There were a few nervous chuckles that chorused over the table, but Fenrys smirked. "Aedion and Lysandra have agreed to stay back and oversee everything while we are away." The two of them nodded, and Fenrys didn't miss the knowing look Elide of all people sent to Lysandra who sat across from her. He snorted, those two with the entire castle to themselves, he was scared to see what they would do. 

     "Any of you who want to attend with us are welcome," Rowan added, "we set sail for the continent in three weeks."

      The room emptied quickly after that, everyone going back to talking among themselves about their plans on staying or going with their queen. They were the only ones left in the room, and with a wave and Aelin's hand the guards closed the door. The moment the noise from outside was cut off, everyone turned back to Aelin, wondering why they weren't informed of this before. Elide bounced on her chair, excitement clearly visible on her face. She hadn't been to a ball since she was a girl, anyone in her position would be excited about this news. Aelin smiled at her friend, the two of them continuing their own conversation about what was going to happen when they arrive across the sea. To his surprise, Lorcan moved to stand next to Fenrys, arms crossed over his chest but his eyes still stayed on Elide, they always seemed to stay on her now. 

     "Are you planning on coming with us?" Fenrys raised his eyebrows at him, surprised that even he was fine with going. "Elide wants me to go."

     "Can't say no?" Lorcan rolled his eyes and Fenrys just grinned. Of all the people that could control Lorcan with nothing more than a look and a smile, Elide was doing a pretty good job. "No, I'm not going."

     "What?" Aelin's head snapped up to him, her eyes narrowed and Fenrys swore. "What do you mean you're not going?" 

     "I'm busy."

     "You literally work for me, what are you busy doing?" He shrugged, and with all attention on him, Aelin blinked, three times. He didn't answer. "Fen-"

     "I'll think about it." Everyone shifted when he walked out of the room, looking between themselves, wondering where their usual joyous and joking friend had gone. 

-

     He was training when Rowan joined him. Fenrys barely acknowledged him, just continued firing arrow after arrow at a target too far for even Rowan to see. A servant stood close by, holding a tray of breakfast foods that Fenrys had failed to show up to eat. Rowan nodded to the poor man, silently dismissing him since Fenrys didn't seem to care to. 

     "Are you going to tell me what that was all about or continue shooting at squirrels and act like a brooding teenager?" 

     "In terms of life span I think I still qualify as one," he shot another arrow, "but I'm not brooding."

     Rowan crossed his arms over his chest, just watching him shoot a couple more before he finally put down is bow. Rowan himself had given it to him, and when he took it from the other male's hand, he examined it, noting the once perfect wood was now covered in dents and scratches. His thumb grazed over what looked like a row of letters but Fenrys snatched it back before he could read what was etched into the curve. 

     "What's wrong with you today?"

     "Nothing." Everything, he seemed to want to say. "I do recall being woken up by a piece of shit though." Fenrys finally let out a laugh when he ducked from Rowan's swing. This was something Fenrys was good at, avoiding, steering conversations. Keeping the masks that he wore when he was around the people who'd become his friends. Fenrys grinned at Rowan, and pulled out his sword in a challenge, and Rowan bowed, bringing his own weapon out with him when he straightened.  

-

     Fenrys hadn't showed up to dinner that evening, asking to have it in his room rather than with the crowd Aelin had brought into the castle. But to his surprise, his chamber door opened and Elide stood in question, waiting for him to invite her in before she took a seat. He moved at the sight of her, bringing his feet back down from the table top and bringing the last two legs of his chair back onto the ground as well. Elide took it as his answer and brought her tray to set onto the table across from him, and said nothing when she sat down and dug into her food.

     "Is there a reason I've been blessed with your company, Lady Elide?" 

     "I didn't think you should be alone." She smiled at him, and Fenrys had a theory that it was because of her smile that he didn't turn her away like he would have done with anyone else. Since meeting her, he'd come to think of Elide as a little sister, one that he would never mind the company of. They sat in silence as they ate, Elide would never ask him about what happened today, not until he brought it up first. 

     "What does your mate think about you having dinner with me?" 

     "He can think whatever he wants." Fenrys smiled, his assumption from earlier being proven right. Elide's eyes widened, her cheeks tinting a bright pink at what she just revealed. The rest of them had already known of course, Lorcan not being very good at hiding real feelings and Elide's scent practically altered permanently when they'd first come back after leaving for Perranth. "Shut up."

     "I didn't say anything." He laughed, a real one this time, when she threw a piece of bread at him. "I'm happy for you, for him, the gods knew Lorcan needed someone in his life who didn't feel like killing him every hour of the day."

     "Oh trust me, he makes it real hard not to." She put another spoonful in her mouth, smiling around her full mouth as she threw another piece of bread. He caught it in his mouth, opening for another instantly. "You have your own dinner, Moonbeam."

     He could feel her eyes on him as he ate, still chewing on her spoonful as he ate four of his own. There were questions she wanted to ask, but she would never say them out loud. A month ago he'd visited her and Lorcan in Perranth, had dinner like this with her one night and he'd told her all about his brother. She hadn't said a word the entire time he spoke, knowing he needed someone to let it all out to. Elide was good with that, talking to without wanting anything in return. She just listened, never judged, never questioned, and never brought up ever, ever again. Putting his spoon down, Fenrys finally sat back in his chair, sighing at the ceiling.

     "It has been exactly one hundred and ten years since I the last time saw my mate." And Elide Salvaterre Lochan, Lady of Perranth, choked. 

-

     It took three weeks, three weeks of arguments and all of his belongings being packed into trunks for him to be convinced to finally say yes to going to Wendlyn with the rest of their court.  It was Elide, in the end, who'd finally done it. Telling her about his mate was a choice he did not regret. He'd pushed and pushed the memory of her from his mind, so far that Maeve and the blood oath could not get their grasp on it. Telling Elide was a relief, hadn't spoken the words he'd said the her that night over dinner to anyone in over a century. His mate was a secret even his own brother did not know, if he had then Maeve would have used it as another way to get Fenrys to swear the oath to her. Rowan's fake mate was killed by the dark queen, Fenrys didn't know if he would survive if she'd done the same to his real one. It killed him everyday not to even think about the female, and even the last five months he'd hardly allowed himself to even whisper her name. Putting the flaming sword through Maeve was not only for his twin brother, but it was for her, the female he loved, his other half, the one he was created for and was created for him. Five months didn't seem like enough time for it to be safe to go back to her, he hadn't even wanted to step back on the continent where she was until he knew for sure she was out of harms way. But Elide assured him that it would be a miracle if anyone from Doranelle ever came to the king's ball. She wouldn't be there. 

     Aelin hugged him when he showed up at the docks, telling him she was glad he decided to come. Almost all of the other lords and ladies decided to stay back, wanting to stay with their people instead of going all the way across the sea. Aelin seemed to be glad for it, as if she would need to be on her best behavior if they were all there to watch her. Fenrys was glad for it too, he wouldn't know what to do being stuck on a ship with a majority of them for the entire journey. 

     Fenrys stayed on the deck through most of it, not even going in to sleep, opting to curl up in his wolf form in the small area that was hidden form the sun. In fact, he stayed in his wolf form a lot of the time. There was something about it that calmed him down the closer they got to the continent. His hearing was also a bit less sensitive when he was a wolf, the couples on the ship not understanding that everyone aboard, save for Elide, had the ability to hear through the walls and floors. Elide sat with him sometimes, watching Rowan and Aelin spend time training with each other on the deck. Lorcan was watching too, but his eyes stayed on his own mate, not in anyway that was threatening to Fenrys, but just looking like he was enjoying the sight of her out in the sun and smiling. He wondered if he would look at her that way if his own mate was here, he had no idea what it would have been like. He wasn't even mated yet when he left. 

     Most would consider him strong for being away from his mate for so long, most fell ill after just a few months apart. His mate had a gift for knowing when things were about to happen, and she knew he wouldn't have survived if she'd gone through with the mating bond. She wouldn't have survived if she'd gone through with it either. Fenrys watched Aelin and Rowan, they had been mated without even realizing, and being apart for only a few months had nearly killed them. Fenrys went over a century away from his, he should have been dead somewhere. 

     "We will be arrive by nightfall, your majesty," the captain called. Fenrys finally changed back to his fae form, smiling at Elide as she quickly removed her hand from his arm. "You should all get some rest and start getting ready to disembark!" 

     True to his word, they'd docked just as the sun was setting over the horizon. And for the first time in a century, Fenrys was happy to set foot on the continent. 

-

     They'd spent two days in the capital city, just wandering the streets and taking in all the sights. Fenrys stayed behind his friends, hands deep in his pockets just looking up at the small shops and stands they passed as they walked. But a few feet behind them, Fenrys couldn't help but pause at one of the stalls, smiling down at the candles that lined the table. He lifted one up to his nose, he'd stopped because this scent seemed to stick out more than the rest. He'd always been drawn to it, and always would be. 

     "Fen! Hurry up!" Aelin called, waving at him from the end of the alley. Dropping a few coins in front of the woman, he pocketed the small candle, thanking her before walking over to where Aelin waited. 

     He stared at the lit candle that night, the smell barely filling the space in the large room he'd been given in the castle. It was the only light in the room, the flame swaying with every breath Fenrys let out. He was brought back to those days that seemed so long ago, the days where this scent filled his nose, filled every part of him. It smelled just like her, and when he closed his eyes, it was like she was there with him.

     He dreamed of her. Brown hair, brown hair the colour of the trees that had filled the woods they'd sometimes sneak off to when she visited him. Hair so curly it was mesmerizing to watch as she threw her head back and laughed, the ringlets bouncing with every sound she let out. Eyes, her eyes were like nothing he'd ever seen before. Large, so large, the colour of dark chocolate when it was melted over berries. She told him how much she hated her eyes once, wanting the bright colours all other fae seemed to possess, but he'd assured her every second that he could that her eyes were the most beautiful ones created by the gods themselves. He dreamed of her laugh, her smile, everything from her nose to the dimple that appeared in her cheek whenever he was the cause of her happiness. He let himself dream of her, something he hadn't done in a hundred and ten years. 

     He'd woken up with a smile on his face, had breakfast with it never leaving his lips, and went through the day feeling as if he was floating on air. It was freeing, letting himself think of her. His friends stared at him, wondering where he'd gone and come back from after his behaviour from the last few weeks. But he assured them that he was alright, that he would be alright. The evening didn't come soon enough, and Fenrys stared at himself in the mirror. A white wolf mask and a white jacket to match, Aelin had packed the outfit for him, saying she'd gotten it fitted perfectly to his size and shape. He let himself appreciate it in the full-length mirror before strapping on the knives that Aelin promised weren't necessary, but Rowan threatened to use on him if he didn't arm himself with them first. 

     The ball was already in full swing when they entered, and Aelin was instantly pulling Rowan towards the dancing couples in the center of the giant ballroom. Fenrys caught the look in Elide's eyes as they went and laughed when Lorcan gave in and lead her out after them. The rest of their company had also vanished at some point, leaving Fenrys standing alone at the bottom of the stairs. Thankfully, a servant walked past, and Fenrys grabbed a glass and drank the entire thing in one swig. 

     Finding a woman to dance with was easy, he'd taken the first one who offered her hand and whisked her onto the dance floor. This part was easy, using others to forget about the one he really wanted to have in his arms. He spun the woman around and around, letting himself enjoy the music and her company. He went through partner after partner, drink after drink, and as the king made his speech about welcoming his guests and thanking them all for coming, Fenrys found himself walking towards the large balcony that was open for guests to get a bit of fresh air. It was Lorcan this time who joined him, and under his crow feather mask, Fenrys could see the slight flush that covered his cheeks. 

     "Elide tiring you?"

     "No, she just told me some news and I needed a second to process it." He didn't ask any further, if he did he was afraid Lorcan would just throw him over the rail. "The females tend to enjoy your company, getting tired of them all because I think you still have a line up in there." It was a joke even if Lorcan didn't make it sound like one. Fenrys smirks and shrugged.

     "Hadn't noticed." They both looked over the garden, neither of them saying another word as they took in the sight. But Fenrys felt Lorcan shift to he was standing a bit closer, his forearms resting on the short rail he pretended to still look at the rare flowers that bloomed just below them.

     "I heard Lady Zinnia Redwood is here tonight." 

     A hundred and ten years. He hadn't heard, said or read her name in a hundred and ten years. He wanted to drop to his knees at the sound of it, even if it came from Lorcan's mouth and was spoken in his harsh tone. Fenrys gripped the railing, turning his knuckles white, wanting to both hug Lorcan and pummel him for even mentioning her.

     "How? How did you know? I didn't even give Elide a name-"

     "I've known the entire time, Fen, I'm much older and smarter than you, and I knew where to ask when I was recruiting for the bitch." 

     His grip didn't loosen, but he nodded, refusing to look up at the male standing next to him in fear of throwing up everything he'd drank since arriving. All he could think about was that she was somewhere in the castle, if Lorcan was correct. It could explain why the scent of the candle was so strong, why his mood had shifted so easily when they'd arrived in the city. Her just being in the city meant they were closer than they'd been in over a century. Had she felt the changes as well? Had she known that he was here too?

     But he ignored it, just pushed off the rail and headed back inside, deciding that Lorcan was the last person he should be trusting in matters such as this. 

     He continued with the charade, but some part of him still searched all over the room for any trace of her. As he danced with a female, his eyes roamed the other eyes on the dance floor, knowing that if he couldn't sense her he would recognize her just by sight alone. But then he felt a tug. Not from the woman in his arms, not in her direction at all, but behind him. He froze, earning himself an annoyed huff from the woman but he couldn't care. He stood there, not moving in the middle of the dance floor. Eyes shut tight, knowing Elide was watching him from somewhere beyond the edges of the dancing people and faeries. He could sense Aelin finding him aswell, and Rowan and the rest of their court following soon after. He wasn't the only one who had frozen as if time had stopped.

     A female wearing the mask of a jackal, standing up on the steps of the ballroom entrance. He could feel her presence alone, from the tips of his fingers to the center of his chest, he knew it was her. He couldn't stop himself as he fell to his knees, paid no attention as the crowd behind him widened their berth around him, even creating a gap into the circle their created. Music continued playing from the unseen orchestra, but the people whispered to each other, wondering what was going on. A hand rested on his shoulder, but it belonged to his queen, and he had to thank her for the blood oath command to stand up and turn around. He wouldn't have had the strength to do it himself. The jackal masked female still hadn't moved from her place at the steps, and when Fenrys turned, he could see she too was down on her knees, a hand covering her mouth as she shook.

     "Go to her. Go to your mate." 

     Two steps, three, he was running to get to her and she was halfway to standing when his body slammed into hers. The scent, it had never been the perfect candle, it was her the entire time, the scent he'd loved with every fiber of his being was from his mate. She'd been there the entire time. She was the reason his mood and turned the moment he'd stepped into the city. It was because she was there, she was always there. They both dropped to their knees still holding onto each other, tears flowing down both of their cheeks. With shaking hands, he untied his mask, and she gasped at the sight of him. Nothing but the scars had changed since she last saw him, and when her own hands, trembling hands, reached up to cup his cheeks, he untied her mask as well. 

     "Fenrys," she whispered, so quiet that he should not have been able to hear her. He nodded and let out his own shaky breath when she was revealed to him as well. As beautiful as the day he'd had to leave her, nothing had changed at all. "Fenrys," she repeated, "this is real, you're real." With her forehead pressed against his own, her eyes, her big brown eyes stared into his, as if she could look into him and find everything that they had missed in the last hundred and ten years inside of them. 

     Without a care for who watched, without even looking back at the crowd that stared with wide eyes and confused glances, Fenrys stood from the carpeted steps and lifted his mate into his arms. And as he walked out of the ballroom, cheers erupted from his friends who had no idea how long he had been waiting for this moment. 

[saintkimora]

well here is how my past 3-5 dates w joel have gone this past week

so! ive been spending the night w him p much every other night. so our 4th date was like 8 days ago. i got there and i THOUGHT we were gonna be in his room again but we were in his room for 2 seconds then he came in like “oh btw my roommates are making us go in the living room and be social” so i was like ..................................................rip i was like here i go its time for the caleb and leeann applebees date 2.0 :/ so we went in to the living room and it was with marissa and lindsey bc his other roommate was out. so everyone was like wtf are we gonna do so after some talking joel decided we would all watch the babadook on netflix since we were talking about the meme and most of us hadnt seen it. i hate scary movies but i figured i could get through it since i had joel to hold on to and since the babadook is like a meme now. so yeah it was fine i got along ok w the roommates and the movie wasnt that scary except for one part. there was one point where i felt like i was starting to shut down a little and i was feeling bad about possibly ruining things again but i asked joel afterwards and he didnt even notice lmao so i dont think it was as bad as i thought

lindsey went to bed halfway through the movie so it was just me joel and marissa by the end. after the movie marissa went into her room and joel and i went back to his room. idk if this next part happened at this point or if it happened on our next date bc its hard for me to keep the timeline straight since it all happens so fast lol so regardless of what day it was this was the next significant thing that happened w me and joel

so i was watching him play overwatch or something and his brother called him on the phone and they had a long conversation about joels financial situation while i was just sitting there lol. so afterwards joel put his head in my lap and explained all his problems to me about how hes so stressed out with money and stuff. and like obv i felt really bad for him bc that sucks. BUT i actually kinda liked it bc i liked how vulnerable and genuine he was being! it made me feel a lot closer to him. then we watched these olds 80s (?) game shows w his head still in my lap (one of them was like some knockoff of snatch game but w regular celebrities instead of drag queens omg) and he had the FUNNIEST commentary about all the old commercials and stuff lol i havent laughed that hard in a LONG time so it was really nice

and idk if this happened that night or the babadook night but i ate his ass again and once again it was a religious experience like his ass is SOOOOOOOO nice i still cant get over it lmao

so then fast forward to the next 2 days later and for whatever reason joel and i werent planning on meeting that night. but he texted me at like 2am telling me he was feeling kinda down about things and how he wished i was there w him rn so i decided to go visit him! and like he kept being like “i dont wanna bother you/i feel bad about always making you come all the way out here for me” and how he wasnt used to guys putting in so much effort and caring about him so much and like...it really wasnt that serious like it wasnt a hindrance to me at all bc i wanted to see him anyways lol but it did make me feel kinda bad for him bc like his old bfs must have been real flops for him to view me just doing decent bf things as like these grand gestures. i have more to say on this but it will be towards the end of the post

so yeah i showered and got there by like 3am. he set up his futon since it was bigger than his bed so we would have more room. and he talked to me about how stressed he was about money and medical school applications and how he felt kinda worthless so i listened to him and comforted him and all that stuff. then we watched the rpdr reunion together and it was SO much fun omg he was shook p much the whole time since it was so iconic. then we went to sleep since i had work in the morning

also like the night after that we were texting and i told him i was really tired and he was like but youre never tired and i was like ya but i had 2 full days of work and i barely got any sleep last night (which was bc i was awake w him until like 5am) and i realized afterwards that it was kinda mean of me to say it bc to me i was just explaining why i was tired but he was already feeling like a burden making me drive all the way there and comfort him so telling him how tired i was probably made him feel bad about asking me for comfort which is NOT how i want him to feel bc i want him to be able to request my help whenever he needs it. so i could tell he was kinda caught off guard by me saying it so i called him and apologized and we cleared it all up. anyways it was just nice to actually call him and discuss the issue and resolve it without any drama. and he said it meant a lot that i even called him to make sure he was feeling ok so it seems that at least i did something right 

there was the next date which was pretty much the same as usual. this time i watched him play diablo 3. but this time we also fooled around and he made me cum and then i was trying to make him cum but i fell asleep bc i was so tired asfnkjashdasna i felt SOOOOOOOOO bad when i woke up that morning :( i apologized and he said it was fine and he was tired too but i still felt bad about it

so then last night/this morning was our most recent date. when i got there a friend of him/his roommates named chris was using his room bc he was playing overwatch so i had to hang out w joel marissa and lindsey in the living room. it was extremely nerve wracking and i was sweating like crazy but i tried to hide my nervousness and socialize. lindsey and marissa seem to like me esp bc i brought joel a gift that day (hes like obsessed w friends and i saw a friends t shirt when i was shopping that day so i got it for him lol) also lindsey is iconic bc she is so wacky shes always getting on the floor and doing weird poses and moves and stunts. and marissa is p funny so i like them both. but still having to talk to them was stressful even though theyre both really nice. lindsey walked into joels room later that night when he was laying down and i was sitting on top of him and said she wanted to join and then later when joel was in the kitchen she came in the doorway and asked if i could be her boyfriend asfjkafndsjnkajs now THIS is a cracked queen

so the rest of the night was nice! we watched like 3 drag race s5 eps on amazon video and we did lots of cuddling and stuff as usual. then we went to bed and we woke up and we fooled around and we BOTH came this time. it was difficult for me trying to get him to cum but i had to power through it bc i had to redeem myself after last time. then i watched him play overwatch and then i watched him play destiny. i really enjoyed it! like i was sitting there cuddling a cute guy and watching him play videogames w both of us shirtless like that is literally all i want and i finally have it!

so yeah! its going really well w joel at the moment. we get along really well and i like his sense of humor and its nice having someone w similar interests to mine! and i love playing w his hair and touching his nice soft belly and his thick thighs and playing w his beard. and i looooooooooooooooooooovvvveeeeeee his voice so much omg the way he says certain words is so cute and hes always making cute weird noises and its super endearing. and i LOVE love love being able to cuddle w someone until we both fall asleep and then waking up together! its so nice 

he doesnt seem to be losing interest in me yet which is good. however this is the issue that i mentioned earlier that i would come back to. so hes constantly telling me about how hes not used to being w someone that puts in so much effort and treats him so well. so that got me thinking. like...obv he likes me at least a little but i have a feeling he might like me a lot more rn bc he isnt used to being treated so nicely. so like, after the initial novelty of being treated like this wears off im afraid he’ll realize he doesnt actually like me that much (like if it ends up being more of a he likes the way i make him feel more than he actually likes me as a person). so im kinda worried about that but im hoping it doesnt happen obv and that he continues to like me. and again. we’ve been in somewhat social situations together now since i had to talk to his 2 roommates but it really wasnt easy for me at all. and we still havent actually gone “out” and done something, like going out to eat or attending a function together or something. so i still have to wait and see how we’re able to interact in those situations before i can determine whether our relationship will work out. im also still too nervous to eat in front of him so whenever he asks if im hungry i lie and say no even though majority of the time i am actually really hungry :/ rip

so yeah thats p much it! its pretty nice atm, except for the issues i just mentioned. also last night joel told me that one of his hookup buddies was back in town the other day and texted him but he had to turn him down and tell him that he is with someone now (me) so that was nice to know! since he seems to view us as exclusive now. we still havent officially decided we are in a relationship but im really in no rush to do that since its only been like a week and a half so i want to continue getting to know him and stuff. i still do feel that he is gonna lose interest at some point but rn it seems that will be later rather than sooner so i am just trying to take it day by day. im also worried about greece since ill be gone for a month so it is very possible that he might meet someone else that he likes more during that time which would really suck. but im kinda just operating on the assumption that its what is gonna happen that way if it does happen i wont be too shocked and if it doesnt happen ill be pleasantly surprised

so yeah thats it, overall its going really well and im having a lot of fun with him! hopefully things continue on this path and we get even closer bc i really like him so far

[carriagelamp]

I know there’s been talk about it lately, about killing the idea that you shouldn’t play games on easy mode and that you have to Git Gud, but I feel like I need to add my own two cents to it just because I’ve been thinking about it recently. Feel free to ignore this, I’ve just been having Feelings

For anyone that’s been following me recently will know that at the moment I am super into Overwatch.  But the thing is, Overwatch is quite literally the first online shooter I’ve ever played.  Like, if you discredit things like Neopets or Club Penguin or Gaia, it’s the first MMO I’ve ever played, period.

I don’t do MMOs, I don’t game with people.  Hell, my gaming was very personal and shameful until recently.  I would hardly ever play games if I thought other people were going to be watching me, and even general party games I could get nervous about playing with people even though everyone was just there for a good time.  I was so embarrassed about being bad and I honestly didn’t start to play games openly or really enjoy it until my brother was finally like “???? if you’re interested in the story, you know you can just put it on easy and I’ll beat any bits that are too hard for you if you like?”

Like that was literally what it took for me to finally work up the nerve to play video games because until then I felt like I was constantly staring down Big Gaming Culture that said you HAD to be the BEST you HAD to play it on the HARDEST DIFFICULTY you had to be a boy to be a True Gamer.  I played Dragon Age 2 for the first time and my brother showed me how to set that bitch onto literally the easiest setting and then put up with me gushing to him about how much I loved the game.  When I played Mass Effect 1?  He literally did take the controller and help me beat rooms I couldn’t get through and he didn’t shame me for it or make me feel bad that I couldn’t get through them on my own.  Like he honestly was just happy that I was getting into one of his favourite hobbies (as well as one of his favourite game series).  If I wanted to play Dragon Age 2 to hell, he was honestly chuffed either way because it meant I was hanging out in the same room as him when he gamed and it meant he could introduce me to other games he wanted me to play because now I open to it.

And, believe it or not, I got better.  I’m still not an amazing ~Gamer~ but I’m decent.  I don’t need easy mode anymore because I got the feel for how it works.  And since I felt I wasn’t doing terribly anymore, I decided to work up the nerve to play Overwatch.

I didn’t even play the beta when it was out.  My brother did and god I wanted to but I was terrified of playing online with people who would see how badly I was doing and attack me for it.  I’ve heard the shit people talk over online games and I never wanted to be in that line of fire.  So I just sat and watched my brother play and fell in love with the characters.

My brother, who has the patience of a saint, then proceeded to buy his own copy of the game and talk me around into actually doing what I wanted to do so badly.  This game doesn’t show your stats to other players, it doesn’t advertise your K/D ratio, and you can mute all the voice chat is what he told me, no one’s going to notice what you’re doing eve if you are doing badly.  So I gave it a try and I fell in love with it and -- as it tends to work when you’re actually given space to work at it -- I got good at it.  I’m only a couple hundred points lower than my brother in comp rankings and I am better and strategizing in that game.  Like, it’s kind of mind blowing.  When we’re playing together he literally turns to me to advice him on character selection to help get past a choke or counter a character or hold a point because I’m good at that whereas he would normally just pick a character and stick out a match with that character.

Honestly, I don’t even know where I was originally going with this.  I just felt the need to say that for people that like a challenge, I’m not saying you shouldn’t.  My brother is 100% one of those people that would sooner die himself than turn down a game’s difficulty setting.  I had to put up with months of him bitching and moaning and fucking Dark Souls but he assures me he was, beneath all that agony, enjoying it.  But for the love of god, back the fuck off players that want the easiest settings and the hand-holdiest games and let them have fun.  

And also like... if you’re someone that wants to play Overwatch but are too scared of playing video games / playing online with people, then like... literally come hit me up and we can group up together and just have a good time.  There is no penalty to losing in quickplay on Overwatch.  Nothing’s going to happen if you’re bad at it.  In fact, even if you lose you’re getting xp so like... there’s only benefits.  You get to play characters you like, play a reall fun game, and get loot boxes.  So go out there, play the game you like, fuck everyone else, and have fun

I don’t know how some gamers are so bad at forgetting that this is about games and that games are about having fun... if you’re not having fun, what’s the point?