#the world is covered in two feet of snow and im stressed about it

[sollucets]

im winteaming again :’)

“P’Team,” says Wiew, the third time Team fumbles and drops a Gundam piece to the floor completely unprompted. “Is something on your mind?” 

“Why would you say that?” he asks immediately, making to attach the retrieved part to its proper spot on the wing. 

“That’s upside down,” Wiew points out, not unkindly. 

Team stares down at the small red-and-white piece in his hands. Very carefully, he sets it on the table, folds his hands in front of him, and composes himself. Then he glances sidelong at Wiew, who has his chin propped on one of his hands and is watching him with the kind of knowing look that would make Team consider throwing something were this a different brother.

[kitashousewife]

lesson planning

an: back on my winter event business! its been a little snowy and with the start of the new year, i thought this would be perfect!

pairings: timeskip!sugawara x fem!reader

warnings: none really, lots of fluff, mentions of school and teaching and kids, lots of pet names

-

the pen resting between sugawara's fingertips seems to get heavier by the second. it's been over an hour, and he hasn't written a single thing. it's one week after the break, and he feels busier than ever.

a frustrated sigh leaves his lips before his eyes look out the window of his home office. the snowflakes dance before him, slowly falling down onto the roof of his home. all weekend, he's been trying to come up with a lesson plan for his elementary students, ultimately with little to no progress. now it's sunday afternoon, and he's stuck.

sugawara groans, head thrown back while he spins slightly in his chair, starting to feel a little hopeless.

"koushi? are you okay?"

his eyes snap open and he's met with you leaning against the doorframe, very worried at his stressed state. you're in one of his old sweatshirts with a sleepy look on your face, and he pouts.

"well, yes," he starts, standing up to shuffle to you. he grabs your hands to kiss them both, before kissing your forehead. "did i wake you up? i'm so sorry,"

"no kou, it's okay," you smile, following him back to his desk chair. "what's wrong?"

he laughed with a shake of his head. "i'm out of ideas. i'm trying to plan these stupid lessons for the week, but i have no idea what to do." he gestures toward his book, each day of the week quite empty.

you hum. "can you just go along with the curriculum?"

he smirks. "of course i could," he laughs before raising an eyebrow. "but they're kids, babe. i don't want to be some boring teacher that they forget and can't stand."

you laugh. you've been dating him for almost three years now, and ever since you've been with him, he has put his all into his students. from his fun socks to interactive lessons, to individual birthday gifts for his students on their special days. he would do anything for them, so of course he can't just follow the curriculum.

it wouldn't be sugawara if it wasn't something extravagant.

you look outside at the light snow, smiling to yourself at the beauty of it all. his small neighborhood has a powdery dusting, making everything a little brighter, and the houses look a little dreamier. the snow gives everything a story-book-type feeling.

"how can i help?" you sit on his desk, feet kicking back and forth.

"oh, you don't have to sweets. you can just sit and look pretty, my pretty girl." he looks up to you for a kiss, which you grant immediately.

"i don't mind! what's on the plan for monday?"

he smiles, looking at the schedule next to his planner. "monday we are starting our topic of seasons and weather, which we will be on for," he pauses, flipping through the pages. "a month or so."

you point out the window. "this will be perfect! it's sunday, and there is no way that all of this is going to melt by tomorrow right?"

his brows furrow, which shows how much he is thinking about this. he waits for a moment before turning to you with a smile.

"grab your shoes, babe. we're going outside!"

after grabbing some coats and a pair of extra gloves that sugawara had in his closet, the two of you go outside. you are immediately struck by how quiet it is. the snow falling causes everything to be muffled, the world around you calm and relaxed. you sigh before taking a few steps into the snow.

"so im thinking," sugawara steps into the now covered grass in front of his home. "i start by telling the students about what season we're in currently. how it's winter time, the cold temperatures, all that good stuff."

you nod along, watching as he picks up a clump in his hands.

"but that's too boring."

of course it is.

"well mr. sugawara, what did you have in mind?"

he beams at that. his heart skips a beat, and he gets distracted for a moment. the way you look right now, eyelashes decorated lightly with snowflakes, your soft lips pulled into a slight smile, and your hair getting its own dusting the longer the two of you stand. you look incredible, so beautiful, almost angelic with the snow.

"i think we could make things a little more interesting! instead of just telling them about the weather, how about i help them experience it instead!" he gives you a wink before laying himself down on the grass, moving his arms and legs to make a snow angel. "i thought, we could do some snow things together, i'll take some pictures for a reference, and then i will take the students out to do some of the things! what do you think?"

his head tilts in the snow, grey tresses tangling in the white underneath them, his eyes squint up at you while he tries to avoid any snowflakes in his eyes. you plop down next to him, making an angel of your own before turning towards him.

"i think that's a perfect idea."

until it got dark outside, the two of you did it all. snapping a photo of your angels, building a snowman together before posing with it, and snapping a few photos along the way. the two of you attempted an igloo, which was not the most structurally sound thing but it looked great in a photo. the last thing the two of you did was write your initials in the snow, inside of a small heart, before taking a photo in front of it. everything was perfect, a wonderful mix of informative and personal, something his students would absolutely love.

dimness started to take over the neighborhood, streetlights flicking on one by one.

"okay, okay. one last photo and we can be done, i promise!" sugawara says through giggles as you shake your head.

"anything for you, kou. what do you want for this one?"

he pulls you towards your snowman before holding his phone up for a photo. you turn your head to smile, but he stops you. gloved fingertips reach up to your chin, turning you toward him to face him once more.

"hi," he smiles, looking at your lips.

"hi kou," you smile back. he tips your chin up a little, lips only a breath away.

"c'mere," he puts his lips on yours, the faint click of his phone camera in the background. when you pull away, he places a kiss on your forehead as well.

"thanks for helping me with my plans, love. i owe ya,"

he pulls you inside, shutting the door behind the two of you before taking your coat. you toe off your boots before heading towards the kitchen.

"you don't owe me anything, koushi. i'm happy to help." you hoist yourself on the counter before your rosy-cheeked boyfriend joins you. "actually i can think of something."

"oh yeah?"

you place a kiss on his freckle that sits right below his eye.

"some dinner would be perfect."

he laughs, patting your thigh before heading towards the fridge. "you got it baby."

sugawara spends the night feeling bittersweet. the new week means a new opportunity, but it also means less time seeing you. he can't help the thought that lingers in his mind, telling him to just have you move in. endless sleepovers, endless weekend feelings, and he could finally come home to someone he loves.

as he sits at his desk, opening the bento that you so lovingly made for him this morning before you left for work, and scrolls on his phone. catching up on missed texts and notifications, checking his email, and finally texting you to check-in.

he laughs to himself, knowing you are going to ask how his lesson went. he knows everything he's going to say, all the details of how his students were beaming the entire lesson, the giggles they had while they made a class snowman, and of course, they love any chance they can see you. sugawara shares about you often, showing them photos of your weekend outings, as well as keeping a photo on his desk that he rotates each month.

his favorite part though was when he finished his lesson, showing the students the last photo you sent. squeals from the students, a mix of ews and awws, scrunched faces and smiles around his students. the best part was when a student in the front row raised her hand, and with a small voice asked him a question.

"when are you getting married, sugawara sensei?"

[dcarevu]

Batman TAS: Terror in the Sky

“Don’t you get it yet, Batman? You failed.”

Episode: 45 Robin: No Writer: Mark Saraceni (teleplay/story) and Steve Perry (story) Director: Boyd Kirkland Animator: Dong Yang Airdate: November 12, 1992 Grade: F

Ouch. Y’know, at least I’ve Got Batman in My Basement had fun stuff for the kiddies and an absolutely hilarious screwdriver duel. What does this episode have for anyone once they know the plot twist? I can’t think of a single thing. Not a single thing. Nothing stuck with me. Nothing is here that I care about seeing again. No killer lines. No great action scenes. Only a mildly good twist, and, well, it does have the incredibly cute scene from the She-Bat eating the fruit at the beginning, but really, this episode’s crime is just being flat out boring. I might even call it my least favorite episode so far. As if all this weren’t enough, this is the third episode within the last four to predominantly feature a human transforming into some type of creature-person hybrid. It doesn’t start off at the zoo again, thank the lord, but why this theme again? Twice that close together was pushing it. Yeah, seeing Langstrom a few episodes ago helps, it gives us a sense of continuity and story-ark, but I wanna see some other things from the world of Batman. I really like Man-Bat too, and a return sounds amazing on paper. Yet, while watching, I found myself looking at the time. What went so wrong?

Like I said, that fruit-eating bit was adorable. I really hope there’s a gif of that somewhere. After that, we see She-Bat going back to Langstrom’s house, and Langstrom jolts awake. Everything seems normal, and we are tricked into thinking that it was all a bad dream. Unfortunately, Langstrom gets up and finds scratches and fruit-splatter all over a throw-rug. This leads him to believe that he is turning back into the Man-Bat creature at night, and he simply doesn't remember it. But here’s what I wanna know. Why do they never notice his wife’s torn-up clothes? Does she never wake up to realize that all she’s wearing is tatters? This never sets off any red flags for either of them? That’s a bit of a plot-hole if I do say so myself. Also, his wife in this scene is wearing a shirt, which the bat-creature clearly was lacking. I know they had to fool us somehow, and they can’t show nekkid boobies on the show, but they coulda kept her covered up. I also thought it was pretty cold how she told Langstrom to just go back to sleep. Wow, how comforting.

When you walk through the house at night and you step in animal-piss.

Batman hears about the bat-creature, and pays Langstrom a visit in his laboratory. At the same time, his wife discovers the torn-up rug, and realizes what is apparently happening. So they both get pissed at him, and his wife threatens to leave him, which I understand, considering they both think that he’s screwing around with the Man-Bat formula again. Langstrom tells Batman, though, that he hasn’t messed with it at all, and that Batman’s antidote must have been a failure. In general he acts pretty unappreciative toward Batman. And I know that he’s stressed and likely feels like he’s being targeted, but he fails to remember that without Batman’s help, he’d be in a lot worse shape, likely contained. Batman saved your ass, and even if the antidote didn’t quite get you to a normal life, it at least did something. So, to prove that Langstrom isn’t messing with the formula, and that he’s changing involuntarily, Batman takes a DNA test. Planning on comparing it to the bat-creature, okay, but you’re 99.99% sure that it’s Langstrom with the wings. You want to make sure that he’s not doing it on purpose. Taking a DNA test would be to see who the creature is. From a writing perspective, I get it, but from Batman’s perspective, he shouldn’t need to do that. His logical conclusion should be to first, do some detective work, spying on Langstrom and his laboratory activities, and second, figure out why he’s changing again.

Batman runs into the bat-creature while outside on his motorcycle, and we get a fight which basically consists of Batman getting pelted with a garbage can a few times. Boyd Kirkland puts out some good stuff sometimes, but this directing is so boring! I swear, nothing interesting-looking ever happens  on screen in this entire episode! Remember On Leather Wings? Remember how dynamic some of those moments were? And to up the boringness a little more, it’s all snowy. Okay, cool change of environment. But when you do nothing with it, this leads to us looking at a lot of bland whites and grays, in addition to the brown of the bat.

After the two fight, there is a chase scene that you might as well fast-forward through, and it ends with, of course, Batman heading right toward a train on his motorcycle. Enough with the trains, it’s getting so cliché. Every time someone is on a train track in this show, just expect a train to inconveniently show up. Even Batman seems sick of it here. This is a scene where Batman is speeding through the snow and ice, being chased down by a giant bat that possibly wants to kill him. How about a more exciting way to end it? Luckily, though, the fight/chase allows Batman to pick up some hair from the creature, and he tests it, proving that Langstrom isn’t the bat. Of course, he now thinks that Dr March is the bat. At least that’s a logical conclusion. When Batman gives Langstrom the news, we learn that his wife has actually left him, and is boring a plane to some undisclosed location. Despite this, it’s really cool how he offers to help Batman catch the new Man-Bat. Batman says that he can handle it, though, so Langstrom heads off to find his wife and explain to her what is going on.

When Batman confronts Dr. March, Dr. March insists that he’s not responsible for the Man-Bat either, because he spilled the improved solution on the floor. But he remembers that his daughter (who is also Langstrom’s wife) helped him clean it up, and in the process, she cut her finger and exposed her blood to the solution. Girl, you’re in a laboratory working with chemicals. Wear gloves if you’re gonna clean up a mess that contains broken glass. Or wear gloves anyway! Duh! So it’s revealed that Francine is the new Man-Bat (or in this case, She-Bat), and it’s a twist that might surprise you your first watch, but it’s not gonna blow you away either. And as I said, once you know it, the episode is basically worthless. And you wouldn’t think so! Because now we shift to the airplane that Francine is on, and she mentions that she doesn’t feel so well. Great! We’re gonna get to see her transform into the bat and go berserk on a crowded plane, right? Well, kinda. After a terribly-animated transformation scene where she looks like one of Spielberg’s gremlins, she leaves the plane, creating a drop of cabin-pressure, and everyone is afraid that they’ll be sucked right out the door. Sounds exciting, but believe me, it’s not. It all feels so low-key considering the situation, and I have to point to Boyd Kirkland again. Dong Yang does no favors, though, because even though this is their episode, it 100% looks like Akom-work. Yeah. You see the problem. I really wish that instead of attempting a scene like this and failing, they would have tried another idea. This is one that I had. So, Langstrom is on the plane that his wife is supposed to be on. He saw her get on it. But when on the plane, he doesn’t see her. The episode would then call back to the Twilight Zone episode Nightmare at 20,000 Feet, and he’d see her outside on the wing. How she got there wouldn’t matter, and it would be a really fun moment. That's my way of how to improve the episode. By the way, after She-Bat escapes, Batman pulls up in his plane and rescues a woman from falling out with the Bat-Plane’s grabby arm. The whole thing is preposterous-looking, and I refuse to believe that, as a pilot, Batman has that much dexterity. Get outta here.

And then the rest of the episode is another chase sequence. Fun. Except this time it’s the Bat-Plane chasing She-Bat. I’m not someone who’s against the Bat-Plane or anything, I think that it has its uses. But, similar to the 1989 Batman, it can be so boring to watch. The chase feels like it goes on forever, and when it ends, Batman injects her with the antidote, and everything is right with the world. So with that, Batman takes off, leaving Kirk and Francine Langstrom up on a snowy, slippery bridge, doomed to freeze to death or fall. That basically sums it up. On the bright side, Char didn’t dislike the episode. She didn’t like it either, but I’m glad that I wasn’t insulting her time.

Get a load of this goofy shot.

“You’re on your own, guys.”

Char’s grade: C Next time: Almost Got’ im

Full episode list here!

[mumuho]

I need you to kiss me - Kai (pt. 3)

Supernatural AU! In which you accidentally establish a link between you and Kai, causing him to become dependent on your kisses for survival.

Fluuuuuuuff

Parts:

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |

During the weekends you only meet up once. Kai usually stops by on Saturday on Sunday, depending on your schedule. It’s a bit of a hassle having to get ready and dressed on days when you really don’t want to go out but have to just to help him out. To make things less burdensome for you Kai offers to meet up at your place.

The arrangement between the two of you work out perfectly. Although the other tenants in your apartment complex have begun to notice the frequent appearance of the handsome young man. It seems as if he never stays more than a few minutes and they speculate about the nature of your relationship.

After three weeks of seeing Kai walking in and out of the building, most often wearing sunglasses, rumor begins to circulate.

He might be gang member! 

Drug dealer! 

What if he’s extorting the student? 

He’s wearing sunglasses to hide his identity!

On one Saturday afternoon as Kai once again steps inside the building he’s approached by the security guard. The guard interrogates him and only becomes more suspicious when Kai refuses to remove his sunglasses. Kai tries to convince the security guard that he isn’t participating in criminal activities and that he actually knows you.

After receiving the call from the reception you come down to the security guard’s office. Inwardly you’re panicking but outwardly you’re wearing a cross expression.

Kai doesn’t really understand why.

---

“Miss, the reason I called you down here is that there have been rumors about the relationship between the two of you. Normally it’s none of our business but there are rumors going around of criminal activities and I called you to hear if you could explain this.”

“I’m terribly sorry for the inconvenience we’ve caused. First of all, he’s my boyfriend.”

It’s a good thing Kai’s wearing sunglasses, because it masks his surprised expression.

“We had a big fight a few weeks ago and ever since he’s been coming over here to apologize.”

Oh, so that’s why she was looking so mad.

“There’s really nothing shady going on, I’ve just not been very keen on speaking to him.”

---

Once back at your apartment the two of you let out a sigh of relief. 

“I guess, you better stay here for a while so they don’t get suspicious.”

And so, that is how Kai begins to spend more time at your place. 

---

One weekend in early December you go out of town and decide to meet up with Kai on Sunday afternoon. Usually when you meet up on Sundays, it’s normally before noon as Kai begins to feel a slight soreness and ache in his body if he goes longer without contact with you. It’s bearable, but rather inconvenient. 

By Sunday afternoon he steps into the building with his sunglasses on. His eyes now occupied by a blackness that covers half his eye. Outside there’s heavy snowfall and Kai leaves a trail of melted snow behind him as he walks up to your apartment.

There’s no answer when he rings the door bell. He presses the bell two more times before finally calling your cell.

“--ah, I’m outside your place, could you open?”

“Kai? You didn’t receive my text message?”

“What message?” He hears your curse on the other side of the phone. 

“I don’t know what the weather’s like back home but the snow’s falling like crazy. We had to stop because I couldn’t see more than a few feet in front of me. We’ll be back on the road as soon as the snowfall clears up a bit. Will you be fine?”

Kai nervously rubs his neck. Should he tell you about the other side effects of going no contact with you for too long? For fear of putting additional stress on you, on top of having to drive in such a conditions, Kai stays quiet.

“I know it’s inconvenient to have your eyes become black but please hold out for a while, okay?”

“When do you think you’ll be home?”

“We’re still a 2-hour drive away, I’ll text you once we’re back on the road.” 

---

“Kai!” You exclaim as you come out the elevator and spot him. Even from a distance it’s apparent he’s feeling unwell. He’s standing slightly hunched and when you come close you notice the perspiration. “Are you okay?” you ask, with worry in your voice “Did you come here despite feeling ill? You could’ve told me to come by your place instead!”

You unlock the door with lightening speed and usher him down onto the cushioned stool in your hallway. 

Without another word exchanged you grab his face and firmly plant your lips onto his. Kai’s hands find their way onto you, one tangled in your hair and the other gently placed against your cheek. 

For a long time you remain in that position, with your lips locked and the front door wide open for the world to see. You stay like that until Kai finally lets go of you. And it’s not because he’s feeling better but because he realizes he’s not.

You remove his sunglasses and only now see that his eyes look even worse than the first time you saw them like this. “Kai, your eyes, they’re not changing back.” It’s beginning to dawn on you that maybe there’s a connection between Kai’s physical state and his eyes.

“I figured.” His reply comes out as a weak whisper. Although he’s not perspiring as much it’s obvious Kai’s is still in pain. He leans back against the wall with his eyes closed. “Please call Sehun and tell him to come here immediately.”

“W-what, why?”

Calmly and quietly he says, “I’m not getting better and I need his help.” He doesn’t have the energy to elaborate any further and you don’t pester him either. 

----

Sehun’s quick to respond and while you wait for his arrival Kai only seems to get progressively worse. He lies on your bed, hair damp with sweat. You don’t know what to do other than put your lips to his because it seems to ease his pain at least.

The doorbell finally rings and Sehun comes barging in, throwing his shoes in the air as he does. 

He points at you and tells you to listen and do as he says as quickly as possible. “You need to digest half of this.” He holds up a bouquet of green herbs. “We need to cut it up and mix it with water. Follow me.”

He enters the kitchen with you in tow. “Cut this up and mix it with water, we’re going to make it into a paste.” 

You do as you’re told but Sehun doesn’t even bother grabbing a knife or a pair of scissors, he just starts tearing the herb with his bare hands. The two of you are back by Kai’s side in no time and you throw half the paste down and swallow it with one gulp before you’re even able to register the bitter taste. 

“Where’s his mark?” Sehun asks.

“Mark? What mark?”

“Kai, where’s the mark?” Sehun shakes his friend’s shoulders but doesn’t get anything other than unintelligible mumbling.

“There should be a physical mark on his body somewhere. We need to know exactly where the mark is in order to direct the energy.” He begins rolling up Kai’s sleeves and you do the same.

“What does the mark look like?”

“It’s just a circle. You’ll know it when you see it.”

The two of you scan Kai’s arms, his feet, neck and all the other easily accessible places. You’re only halfway through when you realize Sehun has been continuously asking you to check his side as well for the mark.

“Sehun, you can’t see the mark?”

“No. The mark is sacred. It’s not something an outsider is able to see.” 

Kai suddenly speaks up, startling the two of you. He places his hand on his left chest. “It’s here.”

Both you and Sehun immediately hover over him. “On your chest?” Sehun spares no time in waiting for Kai’s confirmation and cuts open his sweater in an instant. 

And there on Kai’s left chest you see it. Two circles, one contained within the other. “Is it supposed to look like scar tissue?” you ask. When Sehun had said “mark” you had imagined it to be more like a tattoo. 

Sehun gives you an affirmative answer and is quick to use what’s left of the paste to draw lines and shapes onto Kai’s upper body. 

“I’m done. Now, --ah, kiss the mark.”

Parts:

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |

[colorado2018]

Day 17 - 03/03/2018

Day 17

After the last few nights of really struggling to sleep, I slept like a baby last night. It was the first morning in a long time where we didn’t have a set time to be up for. I still was up and about at 09:30 but it was much more relaxed. My body still kills this morning. It is probably more painful today than yesterday. As in my muscles are really tight so today will be a challenge to lengthen them out and hopefully be ok to run tomorrow.

After chilling round the apartment for a couple of hours doing our jobs etc. We headed to the local runner’s café. This café is awesome it has loads and loads of plaques about the running team, trophies, signed memorabilia and lots more. It is awesome. The coach of the team has his own little corner in the café too. This is the café that all the runners visit after their long runs on a Sunday. Moving on to the food now. Jeeze. Most people know that the way to my heart is through a cinnamon bun. The cinnamon bun was huge it was a sharing one, but it literally did three of us. The best big about America so far is they warm up the cinnamon buns for you. It is literally heaven. After eating the cinnamon bun my pancakes came. Oh jeeze. I was in trouble they were huge, and I was literally stuffed after the ‘warm up’ of the cinnamon bun. I choose to go for the blueberry pancakes. I only managed to eat around a quarter of what they gave me. Luckily, I was able to take it away. I totally understand why Americans are large, it would be impressive to just eat the pancakes let alone with some of the cinnamon bun too. Crazy.

As we were all full to the brim we headed for a road trip to pagosa springs. Pagosa springs is the worlds deepest natural springs. I have been to a couple of natural springs during my time in Italy on a college trip but not for a few years. Rob has never been to one. I knew he would have a shock when we get there (the smell). Again, I had to do the driving, all 2 and a bit hours each way of it. After an hour of dead straight roads, we got to the mountainous passes. They were really good fun in the little car we had. After reaching the top of the pass at 11000ft the pass drops of by 8% gradient for 8miles. As you can imagine going down them was fun, but I always had the thought that I had to learn them well because im going to have to go up them in the dead of night. Around ¾ of the way down after going around, some very tight bends and big drops off the side we stopped for a waterfall.

The waterfall was a bit of a trek from the car. Outside was a lovely day but there was still loads of snow around. To get to the waterfall you had to trek up a rather steep icey wooded trail. Both rob, and I were in shoes that really weren’t designed for the occasion. I had completely flat soled boots that have no grip at all on and rob had worn down running trainers. Silly thing is back at the apartment we both have walking boots, but we weren’t expecting to stop at a waterfall. It was a really funny trek up there with Tom, Rob and I. I was slipping all over the place on the way up there. After around 20minutes of trying so hard not to fall over we reached the bridge where we can see the waterfall. The waterfall was frozen which was so cool, was an amazing. I tried to get closer and wade through the snow. Little did I know it had been building up there for some time, as soon as I put my foot in it, it went all the way past my knee. It was freezing. Really funning because it was a mission to get back out of it but worth it for the view. The trek down from the waterfall was even better. We went the opposite way to going up because they both end at the car. The way down was so much steeper and more difficult to stay on your feet. Yep I was the first to fall on my bum, multiple times actually. They we pretty funny, the boys got a kick out of it too. Next to fall was rob. A couple of times too but not as bad as I did. It was quite a funny detour on the way to where were going.

Next up Pagosa springs. Pagosa springs is a little place in the middle of nowhere, very Mexican and quaint. Pagosa springs is home to over 18 natural springs that are heated geothermally. They range from 89 degrees Fahrenheit all the way to 113 degrees Fahrenheit. After acclimatising to the strong smell of egg from the sulpha in the pools we got straight into a toasty 105 Fahrenheit natural bath. This one was virtually in the river so there were really hot bubbles, then the swash of the river which cooled it down. It was so relaxing, and we really needed it after the few days of hard graft. We probably spent around 5 hours bouncing from pool to pool. It was super relaxing. Rob and I both had our first wine in a can. It was super nice. Very strange to get wine in a can I thought. Sorry went Yoda for a second. I forgot to mention that we are still at altitude and its like 4 degrees Celsius outside and were sitting in a geothermal bath topless sipping on a can of wine. B.E.A.U.TIFUL! The wine went straight to our heads, but it was so worth it. We stayed there till it was only 1degree outside and the sun had set. It became a bit to romantic for three lads to be sitting in a bath whilst its almost candlelit light around us.  

We then headed to the Riff raff brewery. Kind of apt because the three of us are riff raff. Riff raff was extremely busy, so we tried to find somewhere else. After walking the streets for like 20minutes trying to find somewhere to eat. It was about 19:00 at this point so we were all very hungry. After going into a really posh restaurant and working out we definitely couldn’t afford it. We headed to riff raff again and waited 45minutes. Whilst rob tried the local beers, tom and I were watching a crazy college basketball game on TV. It was all nice and relaxed until we got found out by a rather tipsy 70-year-old German woman. For the next 20 minutes she was talking to us and making us talk to her English ‘boyfriend’. It was super weird, she literally would leave us alone until we ordered our food and spoke to her Rodney (boyfriend).

After ordering our meals we had to wait ages for our food. I had a goat meat burger, rob had a normal burger and tom had a Yak burger. All were very nice apart from the fact we all got crisps instead of chips. They didn’t do chips in this place they would give you crisps as an alternative. It’s so weird, nice hot burger with a plate of plain kettle chips as a main meal. We then had to wait an eternity for the bill. At this point it was 21:00 and we are over 2hours away from home. Don’t forget it is mountain passes all the way home and its pitch black.

We all went to the local fuel garage for some extra substance because the meal just wasn’t big enough. The guy who works there was definitely high as a kite. I wanted a coffee to stay awake and a bit more alert for the drive home. But he was as helpful as a snail on speed. The drive home was really cool. The day before was a full moon so the moon was extremely bright in the sky. Also, because we are at almost 2500m in elevation the area certainly gets lit up more by the moon. You can imagine the glare of the moon on snow covered mountains. It was absolutely beautiful. One of the best sights. I really can’t get bored of the sights of the mountains here. I really love scenic views. In that respect I could definitely live in Colorado. There are many positives but quite a few negatives at the same time.

The drive home through the mountains was quite tiring and stressful because I have two people in the car that are relying on me. Also, they are roads that I have only ever driven once. It was very unnerving. After enjoying the drive home, I can officially say ive driven a mountain pass in the dead of night and not killed my passengers. It’s the little things in life. Don’t ever forget that.

 Sorry for it being so late. Last night killed me so I finished it off today. Catch up with you soon. Night!

[nxkedemotions]

In the Eye of a Chaotic Confusion

I am up in the sky, gazing at the deep, blue, upper sky almost touching space where stars repel gravity and any ability to be touched. How beautiful they look. I see and feel the swollen blank clouds that lay lurking beneath my feet. Nighttime surrounds me, it’s dark, causing each cloud to emulate a different tinted shade of grey. Mixing the black of the night with the white of innocence and purity. A piercing ring burst through the silence, thickening the dense, quiet fear. My vision is smeared, the stars melting into the blue, and I stop. I am so elevated above reality, the darkened clouds hinder the ground. It’s no surprise, the dark, for I’ve known it all my life.

Then it all comes back, that I am not safe. Chasing a life that is chasing me, never reaching or catching it. Running to and from the same colorless place, it will not fade away. I am stuck in these giant guardian clouds that give my skin frozen bumps, and make my guts glad to have their warmth. Don’t trust the dull shimmer of each corrupt cloud, they will not hold you up. For they are deceiving, just like me.

When I was little the only thing that terrified me was what lurked in the darkness; where it was impossible for me to glimpse, for me to see. I didn’t know what or who was there, if there was at all, or how anything could be there. I was frozen in the what if. Now even with all of the thoughts that make me tremble, terrified doesn’t even begin to explain the thoughts that exhaust and confuse my head with toxic, colorless, clouds.

Snow is my twin. We are silent, we can howl, we are hated, blank, cold, empty, dangerous and destructive, beautiful and ugly, we fall, we can break. I build up faster than a bank of snow, I cause problems and stress. I’m a beautiful tragedy, covering the truth of how I feel as if it’s an artifact that could destroy everything I’ve worked hard to obtain.

My head has always been dark, it’s rainy and cold. I find the comfort in melodies to make the rain vibrate, I find love in the cold. The cold is only cold. Huddled up so close, every atom so slow, in the motion that it lays in, hated, loved, widely unknown, it’s underappreciated. It could determine your lifespan, or the quality of your life, or could spark a love that causes you to love yourself.

She is cold, she wants to be warm, to be as strong as ice but have a heart so hot it melts even the most frozen of ones of the damaged people. My life is stress itself, so heavy and dense. Such a contradiction paradox. To be or not to be, could that be the start of it? Each and every time I am mistreated once again, there are constant thoughts that are as dangerous as a cliff. Every name, every look, every bruise, tear, or the following curving quiver of my lips I find myself back to the start of trying to be strong, and everytime it happens again It’s as if I am back at the start.

My chest is being suppressed by the weight of the world, no air I have can save me. Volcanoes inside me are boiling my blood, rising my tears, I feel I’m about to burst. Eyes and faces all around me. Don’t listen to it. Don’t feel it. Don’t give into it! Heat consuming my face reveals its hue, and I lose control of it. Two blue eyes so glazed and drowning, I look every single one in the eyes with a far too warm of a smile. Another lie I tell myself to hinder the truth of what I’m feeling inside. This isn’t happening. This cannot be happening to me, but of course it is.

I am the she that I continue to write about. So ironically talked about, I am, in the absolute silence that is my life. I am in a displacement. My feeling has moved on, and here this body lays so lifeless and flies, floats, spins into what I believe is hope. It isn’t. I tell myself, “This is okay. Everything happens for a reason. I deserve it. It’s all okay. It won’t matter in a couple of months.

Time is the powerful healing element. A second goes by and nothing changes, two go by and everything is different. I am okay”. Now there is a barrier between the “truth” and the ugly, honest, utter truth. My future, the thoughts, I don’t want to think about it. All the suffocation of all these snowflakes. They block out the good, the bright sun, the warmth. The heat that will melt these thoughts, a need. Gasping breaths of cold air, no oxygen, I’m not fine. I am back in the place up in the specks of light, above the dripping clouds, the screaming sky, there is me in the eye of all chaos.

I can only feel how numb I am, how full I am of emptiness and displaced. There’s no expression, I suppress it, don’t talk about it, smile through it. There’s this one sensation that dances upon my surface sometimes. Where my heart heats up and my blood feels boiled my face is as hot as lava; my eyes are letting it out. All the numb and emptiness, go figure.

Although I may seem beautiful and pure, but I have thoughts that are as blank as a valley covered in snow. Withholding repeating memories in my head that force my eyes open to see how blind I am. I have constant hunger and pain and tears inside of me that I can’t show or talk about.They are there to stay, no ridding of them, nor myself for I am lost in an ongoing life of “it’s not your fault” and “what did you do”. What did I do? A life of “everything will be okay” and “that’s just how things are”.  Hills and valleys and streets of white, there is an abundance of snow, the cold. Fatal, scary, it’s naturally a disaster, so dangerous and beautiful- from each white iced flake.

It just so happens that I too want to be loved. Loved by anyone, truly, I need truth and someone to shape me into something that loves itself. I need to be stared at and appreciated I need to be loved. Nobody sees my darkness for it is sheltered by my surface beauty, my glimmer, I am snow. I am stepped on. I am slush, weak and dark, beneath the bottom of your foot. I am hurt and broken and crushed, but no one notices, and no one cares. I am in an avalanche that is my life, body nowhere to be found or even searched for. There is too much of me.

Im haunted by the thoughts of myself in the snow, in myself. Lifeless, hopeless, helpless, weak, I’m no more, I’m gone, forgotten, unimportant. My heart already a corpse itself.

Please, the next time you see me falling, catch me on your tongue, so safe and isolated, catch me till I melt. I’m frozen by sadness, though it’s known for beauty. I have a thousand burning desires to escape. Do not admire me.