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mirkwoodshewolf · 4 years

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Finding out the truth about Freddie; Queen x reader

*Author’s note*

Here we go with the next chapter, now I hope you got your tissues ready cause I swear people, these next few chapters are gonna be heavy. Now in this one there is an insane amount of fluff first but then as the story goes on, YEESH! I’ll say this I HATED writing a portion of this chapter cause I was CRYING!!!

Also in the near future I may do a sorta HC type thing because there is one additional surprise that’s in this chapter (it’s nothing bad trust me) but I may just do that instead of making another fic of it. But I hope you all enjoy this part as much as you enjoyed the previous. And look out for the next and final update coming in just a few.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@simonedk

@platawnic

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queensdivas

@queendeakyy

@geek-and-proud

@kairosfreddie

@onebigfangirlworld

@naturalswifty89

@starswin

@bohemiansweede

@5sos-wdw

@labessieisallama

@isabella-bby

@dj-lowkey

_______________________________________________________________

*December 15th, 1990*

It was like any other day in holiday home of Montreux. I was getting the place ready for the boys to stay while they got some work done. Brian wouldn��t tell me much but just the fact that the press were really hounding on Freddie lately. Now I have heard that there had been rumors that Freddie was sick but of what I had no idea.

The boys refused to tell me every time I asked. The last time I had seen Freddie and the guys in the public view was when they won the award for best band of the 1980’s.

And I’ll definitely say that something did look wrong with him, he was so thin and pale it was like I wasn’t even looking at the same person. But a walking corpse. I checked the clock really quick and said to myself.

“Okay Jack should be back with them any minute. Their flight was supposed to have come in a half hour ago. That is if there had been no delay. But there shouldn’t have been otherwise he’d call me. Okay bedrooms have been assigned, dinner’s just about done, and the twins are upstairs napping. Susan will drop Kelly back home after the playdate with Amy, okay I think that’s everything.”

Soon I heard two separate barks from upstairs on the balcony. I knew that it was Sammy our 3 year old golden retriever and Bucky our 6 year old German Shepherd, sounding the alarm that company had arrived. I smiled and raced towards the door and opened it to reveal the guys coming out of the cars.

I smiled widely and raced towards them not helping myself to an ecstatic squeal that came out of my mouth.

“Ahh her royal majesties have finally arrived!” As the first person I tackled in a hug was Brian. Seeing me coming at him, he immediately was ready as he picked me up and spun me around making me laugh as I said.

“Oh you guys look at you all!” He set me down as I brought Deacy in for the next hug. He pecked my cheek and embraced me back and as I hugged Roger and Fred at the same time I said, “Oh it’s been too long, I’ve missed my boys soo much. Oi,” I separated from them and gathered them together so that I could scold them like the mother I was, “Just because you four are now some hotshot band of the 80’s doesn’t mean you can forget about the people who most love you four. I worry about you guys I expect a call every now and then.”

“You know we check in on you love.” Said Roger. I grinned at him and said.

“Yeah I know but still. I don’t want you four to forget about little ol me.”

“Darling it’s impossible to forget about you.” Said Freddie.

“Hey you guys hungry? I’ve made cornbread and chilly.” I asked.

“Wait did I just hear cornbread and chilly?” Jack suddenly came into the group circle making us laugh and I said.

“Yes darling, it’s in the stove, should be done about now.” I took the guys inside the house and as they got a good view of the house from the inside Deacy said.

“Wow (y/n), your home is beautiful.”

“Thanks Deacy, the perfect vacation home for three kids. But oh lord the sleepovers that will happen in the future. It’ll fit an entire classroom.” I teased the last part.

“Speaking of which where are the little ankle biters at?” asked Roger.

“Well the twins are upstairs taking their afternoon nap, and Kelly is at a friend’s place. Should be back around 5-10 minutes or so.”

“How have they been doing?” asked Brian.

“Well the twins just had their 18month checkup about a month ago. Everything’s all healthy, Jack Jr. grew another 3inches. And Georgie gained 3 extra pounds.” Deacy whistled and said.

“Seems you’ve got a weed on your hands with Jack.”

“Tell me about it, by the time the boy’s in junior high, he’ll probably be as tall as an NBA player.” They looked at me confused and that’s when I stated, “Basketball player.” To which they nodded in understandment.

“And how’s the little nightingale?” asked Freddie.

“She’s been good. Really liking her kindergarten class, her teacher says she’s the smartest little girl she’s ever seen.”

“And we wouldn’t expect nothing less, she’s like her mother in every sense, shape and form.” Roger praised as he gave me a fatherly peck on the temple. I playfully shoved him and said.

“But I know she’ll be excited to see you all. She doesn’t even know you guys are coming.”

“My, my you are a sneaky mother lion aren’t yah dear?” teased Freddie.

“I do my best Fred. Okay so let me show you all to your rooms so you can set your stuff down and then we can have dinner.” I then led the boys up the stairs.

But as I reached the top I began to notice that Fred seemed to be struggling immensely.

I walked back down towards him and took his luggage and he looked at me and I smiled softly, hoping that I wasn’t crossing any boundaries.

“Thank you darling.” He said with a nod and I nodded back to him and tried to help him up the stairs but he refused telling me that he got it under control.

“Okay Freddie this room is yours,”

“Thank you darling.” He said as he set himself down on the bed and for the first time since arriving I saw him truly become relaxed. I set his stuff down at his bedside and said to him.

“I’ll let you know when dinner’s finally ready.” He thanked me once more and that’s when we all heard barking coming down the hall.

Bucky had entered Freddie’s room and trotted right up towards him.

“Hi Bucky!” Freddie said trying to sound enthusiastically but that’s when Bucky started to bark at him and not in the happy way. He almost sounded alarmed or defensive. I walked up towards him telling him as I ruffled his fur.

“What is wrong with you yah rotter? It’s just Freddie.”

“Oh I think my outfit just smells like Delilah that’s all.”

“I am so sorry Freddie he’s never acted this way before to anyone.” I apologized.

“No apologizes necessary darling.” He assured me. I knelt down to Bucky’s height and he sniffed under my chin whimpering and grunting as I scowled him.

“What’s the matter with you huh? It’s like you smelled something bad on him.” Bucky let out a couple more barks before a whistle was heard and Bucky went trotting over to Roger who began to pet him. “Again Fred I’m so sorry about this, hopefully Sammy will be nicer for the both of them. You just get yourself situated and I’ll come check on you in a bit.”

“No need to hover over me like a mama bear darling, I’ll be fine.” I just grinned at him and left his room and took the rest of band members of Queen to their rooms.

Deacy and Roger had rooms that were next door to each other’s while Brian’s room was just across from the master bedroom.

Once the guys got settled in, Jack had gotten the table set up and now everyone was gathered around the table ready to eat. I set the food down and I heard Roger say.

“Ahh about time, at least this will be better than airplane food.”

“Oh (y/n) this smells absolutely delicious.” Complimented Brian.

“Thank you boys, and please help yourselves to as much as you want.” We all then dug into our dinner.

“So how far did you say the studio was from here?” asked Freddie.

“It’s literally 20 minutes from here. Can’t miss it, it’s a beautiful building. I’m actually about to do some recording myself there tomorrow for my next album.”

“Mind telling us about it?” asked Roger.

“Oh no, no, no, no, no you cheeky devils. You’ll have to wait till it hits the shelves. I’m not spilling a single detail.”

“Ahh come on love, we tell each other everything in regard to work.” Said Brian.

“Nope, not gonna get anything outta me.” I said as I took a spoonful of chilly into my mouth. The front door soon opened and shut as we all heard a tiny little girl’s voice call out.

“Hi mummy!”

“There she is.” Proclaimed Deacy. Soon coming around the corner at 5 years old now with my (h/c) locks that went past her shoulders and (e/c) eyes that shined like little gems was my dear little Kelly.

“Uncle Deacy!” She raced over to Deacy who picked her up and gave her a kiss on the cheek as he said.

“How’s my favorite niece doing? Ohh you’re getting so big.”

“I see how it is Kelly, you go to Deacy but ignore the rest of us.” Freddie taunted.

“No Uncle Freddie, I never forget about you!” Kelly whined. Freddie grinned at her and said.

“I know you wouldn’t. Now come give your uncle Freddie a kiss my little nightingale.” Kelly got out of Deacy’s lap and went over to Freddie who picked her up and kissed both her cheeks. I noticed that Freddie was straining to pick her up, he tried to hide it but I could see it in his face as he picked her up.

“And what of my hug and kiss Kelly?” Brian asked. She giggled and Freddie passed her over to Brian. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed Brian’s cheek. I picked up Jack Jr. from his booster seat while Jack took Daniel. Brian gave Kelly her Eskimo kiss before kissing her forehead which made her giggle.

“Where’s papa Roger?” she asked innocently. I turned to Roger who went to grab another beer can to see his goddaughter being held in Brian’s arms. I grinned at him as he said as he set his beer down.

“Why don’t you turn around and find out.” Kelly immediately turned around and raced towards Roger who got down to her height and picked her up under her arms holding her close to his chest which caused the whole room to erupt with soft laughs.

Just like me, Kelly’s always favored Roger out of the guys. Thankfully Roger took the role of godfather to a whole new level. Anytime I needed advice with Kelly, he was always there day or night. He adored Kelly with all his heart and like he did with me, he treated Kelly like his own child and gave her the entire world.

“You happy to see your uncles and your god papa sweetie?” asked Jack.

“I’m very happy.” Roger hugged her close to him and repeatedly kissed Kelly’s cheek making her giggle and squirm in his arms.

“And get this poppet, your uncles and godfather will be staying here with us for a while whilst they get some work done.” I told her. Her eyes lit up and she turned to Roger and asked him.

“Really?”

“That’s right love, hope you won’t get too sick of us like your mother does.” Roger teased.

“No I miss you guys!” She said as she hugged Roger’s neck and buried her face into it which made all of us laugh. Roger kissed her head and set back down in his seat while I got a bowl ready for Kelly. Once I set it down, she whined out, “Aww mummy, I don’t like chilly though!”

“Sorry darling but you’re gonna have to expand your eating habits. Just try a couple of bites.” I told her. She huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest pouting.

“Ahh come on now lovey, listen to your mummy and try at least a spoonful.” Said Roger as he gave her the puppy dog eyes but Kelly still refused.

“Okay then, I guess that means I’ll have to give the extra ice cream sandwiches to one of the guys then.” I started off. It was then Kelly perked up and said.

“Wait! Wait! I want an ice cream sandwich!” I smirked knowing that I had her right where I wanted her. I knelt down in front of her and said to her.

“Then you’ve got to eat your chilly.” She whined as she looked between her bowl and me. “It’s either that or not dessert monkey.” She then finally gave in and reached for her spoon and took a bite of the chilly. “That’s my girl.” I kissed the top of her head as Roger said.

“You’re so bad with her.”

“Well I did learn from the best,” I pecked his cheek and went to grab the ice cream sandwiches from the freezer.

The rest of the night was spent catching up with the guys and eating our dessert. Kelly was coloring in her coloring book while the boys were playing with their blocks at the center of the living room.

“So how have you two adjusted to dealing with 3 kids now?” asked Brian.

“It’s a struggle at times, but we’re happy to have our boys.” I said.

“Jack Jr. is an angel from heaven, Georgie however is a little devil in disguise. Jack Jr. clears his plate like a gentleman, Georgie on the other hand will just scatter his food down to the floor. Like the other day they were eating cheerios and he goes shoving the cheerios onto the ground, but what he does next is that he just looks at me like this,” Jack then made a ‘stare-down’ face as he said, “Like he’s saying, ‘I know you’re gonna pick that up’.” Which got the guys laughing.

“Trust me Jack, I went through the same thing with Robert when he was first born. But eventually he grew out of it, hopefully it’ll be the same with Georgie.” Said Deacy.

“Let’s hope so, I don’t think I can raise a mini-Jensen.” Jack groaned which made us laugh again.

As the night drew darker, Kelly who was now leaning against her godfather yawned and that’s when Roger said.

“Seems like someone had a long day today.” I stood up to take her upstairs but he stopped me and said, “It’s fine love, I’ll take her up. You take care of those boys of yours.”

“You sure?” I asked.

“Yeah it’ll be fine.” Roger then slowly picked Kelly up without trying to wake her up and took her up to her room.

God she looked so cute leaning up against Roger like that, reminds me of me at that age when my real father would take me up to bed after I had fallen asleep doing something.

“It is getting rather late. I think we should all be in bed by now, we want to get as early of a start recording as we can.” Stated Freddie.

“Agreed.” Brian spoke up. It was then decided that we all turned in for the night. Jack and I put the twins in their nursery jointed right next door to the master bedroom and I said goodnight to the three queens and they bid us a goodnight back. Jack and I unfolded the sheets and got into bed.

“How long do you think you’ll be staying in the studio for?”

“I’m hoping to plan just 9 hours, but I can’t make any promises. Plus with the guys here, they may need me. Hope that isn’t any trouble for you.”

“No, no it’s fine. It’s been awhile since you’ve got to work with the boys, they might need you back with them.”

“Yeah they are lost without me.” We kissed each other and then snuggled up for the night.

*3rd Person POV*

While everyone was getting situated into bed, Roger finally arrived at Kelly’s room and walked over to her bed. He gently set her down and just before he could cover her up, she moaned and opened her eyes and said.

“Papa Roger?” Roger looked up at her and smiled and said.

“Hey you, I thought you’d gone to dreamland by now.”

“I couldn’t with you and uncle Deacy, uncle Brian and uncle Freddie here. I’m too excited to sleep now.”

“Oh really?” She nodded but then Roger took notice that she had the same sad look that she inherited from her mother. “What is it lovey?” he asked.

“I don’t think I can say it.” She responded solemnly as she looked down away from Roger. Roger looked at his goddaughter as said.

“Kelly, you know that if something’s bothering you, you know you can always tell me anything, right?” She nodded hesitantly and that’s when Roger lifted her chin up and said as he sat down at her bedside and extended his arm out, “C’mere darling.” Kelly crawled up onto Roger’s lap and gripped onto his shirt and fiddled with it.

Roger adjusted her so that she was fully sitting on his lap and wrapped his arms around her back keeping her steady as he allowed her head to rest against his chest over his heart, much like he did with her mother.

“Talking about it will help you feel better, so come on little lioness, what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” Kelly fiddled with Roger’s shirt a bit more before finally saying as she looked up at Roger with this (e/c) eyes that she got from her mother.

“Is uncle Freddie okay?”

At this point Roger didn’t even know what to tell her. He had hoped that Kelly wouldn’t notice the change in Freddie due to his AIDS but he knew he had been fooling himself.

She was after all the daughter of (Y/n) Kline, the cleverest girl he had ever met.

“I—didn’t want to say anything to mummy at dinner because I was afraid she’d get sad. I didn’t want her to be sad.” Roger stroked Kelly’s hair and said to her.

“You definitely have your mother’s cleverness thank god for that.” He first teased which made both him and even Kelly laugh. “Listen darling; your uncle Freddie he’s—he’s just trying out a new look. He hopes that it will help him look younger to fit in with the new ongoing crowd of fans. That’s all.”

“Well I don’t like it. He looks sick, can’t mummy help him feel better? I want the old uncle Freddie back.” Roger brushed some strands of her long hair out of her face and said.

“Maybe, if your mum will allow it.”

“She always helps me whenever I feel sick.” She said softly.

“She is a good nurse isn’t she?” Roger asked remembering all the times that she’s helped him and the guys whenever they partied too hard and were completely shitfaced by morning when they were forced to record. After teasing them, mainly him of course, she’d then have medicine, water and crackers to help settle their stomachs.

Kelly nodded but still looked sad. If there was one thing Roger knew when it came to his best girls, whether it was the Kline girls or even his own daughter, it was to never let them go to bed sad. With a mischievous gleam appearing in his eyes and a cunning grin coming across his face, Roger proceeded to try and get Kelly to laugh. First he playfully pinched her nose as he said.

“I’ve got you nose.” Which made Kelly giggle as she tried to escape her godfather’s embrace. As she now fell back onto her bed, it allowed Roger to grab her ankle and lift her foot in the air as he said, “Got your toes!”

“Papa Roger, stop! I’m too big for nose and toes!” She laughed. This was a playful game that Roger not only played with his own daughter but with Kelly as well to get them to be happy again.

“Uh-oh, you’re missing a toe. Alright you little ankle bitter, where’s that missing toe?”

“I’m not missing a toe.” Kelly cried out.

“Oh yes you are, see. One, two, three, four.” He said counting her toes skipping over her middle toe. “Now where you keeping that toe at young lady?”

“I don’t have it anywhere.”

“Ah-ah better tell the truth, or I’m gonna tickle it out of yah.” He then dived down and began tickling Kelly’s stomach. The two of them laughing as Roger kept Kelly close to him as he tickled her, not allowing her to escape an inch away from him. Kelly tried as best as she could to roll away from him but Roger always brought her back close to him, she tried to push his hand away but it wouldn’t budge.

When she was nothing but pure smiles and no more trace of sadness was in her eyes, Roger ceased his tickle attack and scooted her up so that her head was now resting on her pillow.

“Okay lovey, time for bed.” He tucked her in and stroked the top of her head, brushing away the bangs that fell down over her eyes. “Now don’t you worry about your uncle Freddie okay? He always bounces back up, and I know he will from this.” Roger lied.

He hated to lie to Kelly but he had no choice. She was too young to understand and he didn’t want this to affect her badly by telling her that her uncle was going to die soon.

He refused to allow Kelly to be told that right away, especially if it was from him and not from her own parents.

Plus he knew Freddie would never forgive him had his favorite niece been told he was so sick.

“Okay.” Kelly said softly.

“That’s my girl.” Roger kissed her forehead and whispered, “Goodnight my love.”

“G’night.” Kelly whispered before finally closing her eyes and went back to sleep. Roger stayed by her bedside for a few moments stroking her head gingerly before finally decided to head to his own room and went to sleep himself.

As he lay down on his bed, a single tear fell down his face.

*My POV*

As the next year came around; the boys continued to stay at the house, balancing work and spending time with their niece and nephews. I’ve really began to notice the signs of Freddie not doing so well.

Some nights he would lose his appetite and not want anything to eat. There was also the signs of him struggling to get out of bed in the mornings and even walk up and down the stairs. One day there was even an accident where he fell and broke his ankle. Also both Sammy and Bucky would just bark at Freddie anytime he would pass them, they even went as much as to avoid him at all times which they had never done before since we had gotten them.

I was really starting to get scared for Freddie’s sake because Kelly was starting to ask questions. She told me that she and Rog had a talk about it but he told her not to worry about it. So I would go up to either Brian or Rog since anytime Freddie was brought up, Deacy wouldn’t even speak and the two of them would tell me not to worry and that Fred was just trying something out, or he went to the gym after their rehearsals.

I was currently sitting on one of my chairs by the back entrance going over a new song for my upcoming album. Doing some rewrites and trying to make the song work better when I heard Freddie’s voice coming down the hallway.

I put my feet up and lowered myself further down the chair hiding myself from view as I heard Freddie say.

“Just tell the press to bugger off and not say a word that I am here with (Y/n) and Jack. I refuse to let the Klines get involve with this Jim darling. If they ask, just tell them I’m in Japan recording…..I know, I miss you too my husband. I’ll call you later tonight, bye-bye my love.” I then heard Fred sigh heavily and heard him enter the living room as he said to himself. “God this is fucking ridiculous. Now they’ve got to pull my beloved Rock Angel into this, she doesn’t deserve this torture either.”

Finally I had had enough, I poked out from behind the chair which caused Freddie to jump backward as I said to him.

“Care to confess your sins there, Mr. Mercury?”

“Bloody hell (Y/n) don’t scare me like that.” He said as he rubbed his chest. I set my notebook down and stood before him saying.

“Well that’s rich coming from you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You Fred. If anyone’s scaring anybody here is you that’s scaring me. Are you sure there isn’t anything you want to talk to me about?” He remained silent and just stared at me with wide eyes. I raised my brow at him and proceeded to say as I circled around him, “Like; why Bucky and Sammy won’t come near you without barking up a storm? Or why your appetites changed? Not to mention this weight loss, the fact that you can barely walk some days without help, not to mention the phone conversation I just heard about me getting involved with something you don’t want me a part of. Fred I’m really worried about you.”

I now stood face to face with him by the end of my rant and that’s when Freddie told me.

“(Y/n) I—I’m just going through some personal things that’s all my dear.” I looked at him suspiciously and said.

“Okay,” I sighed heavily as I dragged my hands through my hair as I said, “God if I didn’t know any better I’d say it’s almost as if you—” I stopped as I looked at him. I then shook my head and said, “No. No way. I’m going straight to the worst case scenario.” I turned around and walked away.

“What scenario would that be darling?” Freddie asked me. I turned back around toward him and said to him trying to play it off.

“Nothing, nothing Fred forget I even said anything.” As I turned back around to walk away it was then Freddie dropped the bombshell.

“Because only a clever girl like you could decipher….when one has AIDS.”

I froze in my spot.

I slowly turned around and looked at Freddie. I have heard about the AIDS crisis that had been breaking out worldwide. It was unlike anything I had ever heard of, and it was strongly affected the gay community. Already Jack had lost some old friends from this disease but never did I—oh my god.

I slowly walked towards Fred finally putting two and two together as I choked out his name. He looked at me with solemn eyes and said the four most gravest and heartbreaking words I will ever hear in my entire life.

“I’m afraid so darling.”

My eyes grew wide, my heart sunk and I almost collapsed to the ground in tears. I held my hands to my mouth trying to hide my shocked expression but tears quickly filled my eyes.

“Oi Fred!” Roger’s voice called out. He came up from the back entrance and stood beside Freddie and said to him, “Fred, Brian and Deacy managed to figure out the problem for the song, we want to run it by you.” It was then Roger turned to look at me. I sniffled and couldn’t help as a tear fell down my face. “(Y/n) what’s wrong?”

Even in his weak and frail state, Freddie still had that strength in his eyes that told me to not cry and be strong. I snapped out of my state and choked out as I tried to do what Freddie was telling me to do.

“Wha? No, nothing’s wrong dad. I’m only just picturing Freddie the way he’d want me to right now. The day I first met him…..Me sitting at the piano and him trying to get me to sing another song…..” I couldn’t help a sob that came out as I choked out again as I held my arms out, “Can I please hug him?”

I walked up towards Fred and gave him a hug as I wept hysterically. Crying into his shoulder while he rocked me back and forth rubbing my back trying to comfort me as I wept.

“Oh god no! Not you…..” I felt him kiss my temple and that’s when I felt his embrace and backed away as I choked out. “Okay I’m going to go calm down, then tonight. You and me. Garden. Because we need to have a serious talk about this okay? Okay?” I wiped my tears away before rushing out of the living room and upstairs to my bedroom.

*3rd Person POV*

Roger who was completely baffled by what he just saw turned to Freddie who turned to him solemnly and he confessed.

“I told her.” Roger sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger.

“How did she find out?”

“She’s clever that lion cub of yours. She put two and two together without even having to say it. Plus she was hiding when I was on the phone with Jim. Already the press back home are spilling rumors that our beloved Rock Angel is aware of my AIDS and is keeping me in hiding.”

“Those fucking wankers.” Roger sneered. He then looked toward the direction where (y/n) had gone and tried to go after her but Freddie stopped him and said.

“Leave her be Rog. Give her time to calm down, and like she said I will talk with her. This has to be between me and her.” Roger nodded and the two men went back to work.

As agreed, the sun set and (y/n) was currently out in the gardens sitting on the pergola swing set with a vodka bottle in her hands. It was a full size bottle but the content inside was almost empty.

*My POV*

My mind maybe fuzzy from dousing vodka most of the afternoon, but I was still sober enough to go to the garden and get on the pergola waiting for Freddie to get here.

I can’t believe this is happening. It’s—it’s like a bad dream or something. Please God don’t let this be real.

“Knock, knock.” I looked up and there stood Freddie. I gestured for him to sit down and he did as I said. I refused to look up at him because I knew I would break down, shitfaced or not. “Never did take you for drinking so early darling.” Freddie tried to lighten up the mood.

I spoke not a word. Everything was dead silent except for the crickets chirping.

“How long has everyone known?” my tone was completely broken. I heard him sigh and he confessed.

“I told Miami shortly after I was diagnoses in ’86. The boys didn’t find out three years after Miami found out.” I shut my eyes as tears fell down my face not believing this.

“So this whole time you all knew about this? And you didn’t bother to let me in on it?!” I snapped as I finally turned towards him. Tears stinging my eyes and threatening to come down.

“Darling I just wanted to keep this to myself. I wanted to protect the ones I loved most closest to me from being told this illness. Not even my family knows about this yet.” I looked at him, seeing the strength in his eyes behind his frail face. “I thought by not telling you, I would be sparing you this heartache. But I should’ve guessed I couldn’t hide anything from you this long. You’re just too clever my darling.” He gently stroked my cheek with his index finger wiping away the tearstains from my face.

I turned away from him and just looked down at my feet as I muttered brokenly.

“I did this to you.”

“What?” I sniffled and said.

“I did this to you Fred.” He looked at me confused and said.

“My rock angel that’s ridiculous, how could you have done any of this?” Finally setting the vodka down, I wiped my tears away from both my eyes and sniffled as I confessed and looked directly at him.

“Do you remember a few months before my wedding? Shortly after you and the boys shot the ‘I want to break free’ video?” Freddie looked at me solemnly and said.

“You mean the day I said those horrible, nasty things about you? I wish I could forget that day but it happened.”

“I told you that I wished that you were struck down in the worst possible way……and now here you are with the worst thing anyone could ever have!” I sobbed out. Covering my eyes with my hand, shutting them trying to keep any more tears from spilling out. “I did this to you Fred…..I did this…..”

“That’s bullshit darling!” he exclaimed. I felt him take my hand that was at my side as he said, “(Y/n), my rock angel look at me,” I was hesitant but I turned towards him, looking like a sad, pathetic drunken woman but Freddie didn’t care.

He stroked some of my hair out of my face tucking it behind my ear as he said.

“Now you listen to me darling; no one is to blame here. You are not to blame for this, the one person responsible for this is me. I was reckless, stupid, and gave too shits about what I was doing. I might’ve known the risks but I didn’t give a fuck about it. My moto was ‘I’m doing everything with everyone’ and not once considered what the result would be. But never, ever think that this was your fault, because it wasn’t. I don’t blame you; the boys don’t blame you; no one blames you.” I looked at Freddie with teary eyes and choked out in a faint voice that it almost appeared like a whisper.

“But why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“As I said I wanted to protect you darling. You were finally booming in your career just as we were. I didn’t want anything to drag you down. You didn’t deserve to be distracted by an old aging queen like me.” That managed to get a laugh out of me. “See, there’s my darling rock angel.” He wiped the tears away and I fully turned towards him.

He cupped my face into his hands and he looked straight into my eyes as he said in a more serious tone.

“Now I’m going to tell you exactly what you told the lads and I when we first found out about your parents; I don’t want you to fuss about it or frown about it, but above all don’t bore me with any sympathy. Because that’s just seconds wasted, seconds that can be used making music, which is all what I want to do with the time I have left. And you need to do the same, can you promise me that darling?” I sniffled and croaked out.

“I’ll try.”

“No dear, you either will or you won’t. Now give me the right answer.” His voice stern which made me flinch a bit but I knew it wasn’t out of anger at me directly.

“I promise.” I vowed to him. He nodded softly and said.

“That’s my Rock Angel, now no more tears darling, okay?” I nodded and that’s when he brought me into his embrace and I hugged him back as tightly as I could but kept it gentle so that I wouldn’t cause him any pain.

I remained in his arms for the rest of the night.

The next morning, Fred invited me along to the recording studio. Since I had completed my album, he thought it would be best for me to come over and see him record this one song that he had been working on with the guys.

He wouldn’t tell me much about it, just to come along and even bring Kelly along so that she could see it too.

Once we had arrived at the studio, I held Kelly’s hand in mine and that’s when she asked me.

“Do you think you and uncle Freddie could sing the pressure song after they’re done?”

“Maybe, but don’t count on anything okay Kelly? Your Uncle needs to rest his voice.” I entered the studio and was greeted by some of the technicians and office workers who pointed me in the direction of where the boys were.

When we reached the room, I saw Freddie put down a vodka bottle as he proclaimed to Brian who was sitting right beside him.

“I’ll fucking do it, darling!”

“Language Freddie, there is a child present in the room.” I exclaimed as I covered Kelly’s ears. The boys all turned toward me and that’s when Freddie said.

“So sorry dear.” I just shook my head at him as I grinned and that’s when Kelly raced up towards Freddie. He picked her up and set him on his lap and she asked him.

“You going to do a new song uncle Freddie?”

“Indeed I am my little nightingale, care to watch?” She nodded enthusiastically and that’s when Brian took a hold of Kelly and set her in is lap while Fred slowly got up from his chair and walked into the recording booth. I took Freddie’s seat and Roger came over and stood over me while Deacy was in the back isolated but still kept his eyes on Fred.

“Okay this is ‘the Show must go on’ take 1.” Brian spoke into the mic. “You ready Fred?”

“Yes Brian dear, let’s do it.” I then heard the track beginning to start. It was a powerful beat that already struck a chord in me and as it decrescendo, Freddie began to sing.

Play video

Even with as frail and ill that he looked, a man that was practically a walking corpse right before my eyes, his voice still held such power. Sure not as much as he once had, but Fred didn’t allow his AIDS to stop him from working, he kept at it.

Once the first chorus hit and his voice hit that falsetto I couldn’t help but have my breath literally be taken out from my body as I just stared at him. The lyrics were truly about Freddie and his struggles with this illness but he still knew and kept up with his famed phrase ‘The Show must go on’ no matter what.

And he sure as hell proved that on that day to me.

I could only stare at him in pure awe throughout the whole recording. To nail the notes he needed on just the first take, only someone like Freddie Mercury could do that. And I was damn proud to not only call him my idol, but my family.

At the very last note he hit with such raw power, I felt a shiver run up my spine as my eyes refused to leave him and I may or may not have been aware of it, but a few tears had fallen down my face.

By the end of the song, I heard Kelly say.

“Mummy you’re crying.” I turned to her and felt my cheek and could feel the wetness of the tears in my face.

“They’re happy tears my love.” I assured her as I wiped them away and saw Fred looking right at me. I pressed the mic button and said. “Killed it as always Fred.”

“Good, because I don’t think I can do it again.” Which caused me and the guys to choke out a laugh.

The following day at just before dawn, we were all at the airport and the guys were waiting for their private jet to take them back to London after doing a successful recording.

“You sure we can’t tempt you all to stay for a few more days?” asked Jack.

“No Jack darling we’ve taken up too much of your time. It’s time we were headed home.” Said Freddie. Jack nodded and that’s when Deacy spoke up.

“Thank you both for allowing us to stay in your lovely home.”

“Anytime Deacy, beats having to stay at a hotel or some rundown home the studio sometimes provides.” I said.

“Must you guys really leave?” Kelly asked as she leaned against her father’s shoulder looking toward her uncles and godfather sadly.

“Afraid so love, but don’t worry. You’ll be coming to see us soon.” Roger assured her as he lightly bopped her nose.

“How soon?” she asked.

“Faster than you think little one.” Brian answered her as he stroked down her hair before leaned down and giving her a kiss goodbye. The rest of the guys soon followed and we all hugged and kissed each other goodbye as their jet soon landed.

The boys grabbed their luggage and they left to get on the plane. They waved bye to us one final time and we waved back before they finally disappeared.

“I hope next time we see Freddie this fall he at least gets better. He looked so frail and ill; do you know what’s wrong with him (Y/n)?” I didn’t turn to face Jack but I immediately responded.

“I have no idea; they wouldn’t tell me anything.” I hated to lie but I made a promise to Fred. He made me swear to him that Jack and Kelly didn’t need to know about his illness because he didn’t want anyone else besides me to know now.

So I vowed to him that I’d keep his secret, and I did. From mid-February till late November I kept Freddie’s secret.

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yasbxxgie · 5 years

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‘Watchmen’ Recap: The Greatest American Hero In a staggering episode that upends the ‘Watchmen’ universe — and the wider world of superhero lore — Hooded Justice is unmasked

A review of this week’s Watchmen, “This Exceptional Being,” coming up just as soon as I read Action Comics #1 for the first time…

Many of the most distinct and beloved American art forms were invented by black artists who were then quickly eclipsed in the public imagination by their white imitators. Elvis Presley borrowed liberally from Chuck Berry and Fats Domino, among many others. When they were starting out, white rappers like the Beastie Boys and Eminem often found it easier to get radio play than more established black hip-hop veterans. A large chunk of Quentin Tarantino’s Oscar-winning aesthetic was modeled on blaxploitation films whose own directors of color didn’t get nearly the same level of acclaim.

If cultural appropriation is woven into the fabric of American music, movies, and life, why not superheroics? What if the first costumed hero of them all was an African American man who inspired a wave of white heroes? What if that hero had to hide his true identity not for all the corny comic-book reasons about protecting his loved ones, but because he knew the color of his skin would get him lynched for daring to put himself above the law?

That Hooded Justice, the O.G. costumed vigilante of the Watchmen universe, was secretly black — was, in fact, Angela’s grandfather, Will Reeves — is the big idea at the center of this episode, and of the series as a whole. When I interviewed Damon Lindelof (who co-wrote “This Exceptional Being” with Cord Jefferson) before the show premiered, he alluded to “the idea that made me want to do this take on Watchmen” as one coming up later in the season. And now it’s here. And it is, well, exceptional.

It takes a while to get to this huge revelation, which is at the heart of a trippy, time- and mind-bending episode that evokes The Leftovers‘ “International Assassin,” Lost‘s “The Constant,” and various other sci-fi drama classic installments (say, “The Inner Light” from Star Trek: The Next Generation) where the hero finds him or herself in a place, time, and sometimes body where they do not belong.

By swallowing Will’s entire stash of Nostalgia pills, Angela’s mind is cast back to the start of his police career in 1939, and to the events that inspired him to become Hooded Justice. At first, it seems we’ll be getting a Quantum Leap-style trip through time, where the other characters see Will Reeves while we in the audience see Angela wearing his clothes and living his life. Quickly, though, the image of her is replaced by the genuine article, played as a young man by Jovan Adepo(*). Angela briefly reappears at crucial, pointed intervals — say, when Will insists that he isn’t having problems with his memory — but for the most part, we are immersed in his world just as much as she is.

(*) On The Leftovers, Adepo played Regina King’s son. Here, he’s her grandfather. Between Jack Ryan, Sorry For Your Loss, and this, he’s among the busier actors on television this fall, but I look forward to another family reunion with King down the road.

Even before Angela’s mind slides back 80 years into the past, we are being primed for the reveal. The episode opens not with the familiar Watchmen logo, but with the same font (now in purple) spelling out Minutemen, before we dive into the latest installment of show-within-the-show American Hero Story. As two FBI agents grill Hooded Justice — played, of course, by a white actor (30 Rock‘s Cheyenne Jackson), because how could the American Hero Story producers even imagine otherwise? — about his affair with Captain Metropolis, my eyes kept being drawn to his costume. I’ve read the Watchmen comic at least a dozen times over the last three and a half decades, yet it felt like this was the first time I was really looking at Hooded Justice’s outfit. The name, the noose around the neck, and the hood to me had always evoked a royal executioner — a man who conceals his face as part of the process of meting out rough justice. Seeing it in the context of a series whose first episode opened with Klansmen slaughtering black people and ended with Judd Crawford dangling from a mighty oak tree, all I could now think of was Klan hoods and lynching. Was Hooded Justice, I wondered, just another closet white supremacist?

Following the American Hero Story clip, Laurie tries to warn Angela about what the Nostalgia will do to her — how, to borrow Lindelof’s own words in our aforementioned interview, nostalgia is literally toxic. The product was developed to help Alzheimer’s patients, but quickly found a more illicit market, because, as Laurie puts it, “Who wants to live in the present when you can be in the past?” Later, the young Will tells his girlfriend June (Danielle Deadwyler) — who is a reporter, because of course a superhero has to have a reporter girlfriend — that he has moved past the horrific events that killed both of their families. “That was a long time ago,” he insists. “I don’t want to live in the past.”

Living in the past is dangerous, Watchmen argues again and again, in part because the past is never quite what we remember it as. White supremacists, whether they’re wearing Klan robes or MAGA hats, want to take us back to a version of America that never really existed — or at least never existed that way for everyone. In the case of “This Exceptional Being,” though, the past is inverted in a different way. Racism is still rampant, especially in the corridors of power — the commissioner of the NYPD won’t even stop to look at Will at the graduation ceremony, much less shake his hand — but the episode tells the story of a black man who seized power for himself in this difficult time, and who motivated a host of white people to follow his example, even if they had no idea who was really leading the way.

Remember what Laurie said back in the third episode about heroes’ masked identities being shaped by childhood trauma? The last good memory of Will Reeves’ childhood before his world was destroyed — with the parallel to Superman and Krypton made clearer than ever when a news vendor shows Will a copy of Action Comics #1 — was of him watching Trust in the Law. He has modeled his whole life on Bass Reeves — taken on his name, even — become a cop because that’s what the real Reeves did. But while Reeves is still a U.S. Marshal in the film, he also wears a hood to conceal his identity(*).

(*) This was something the real-life Reeves did sometimes to maintain a low profile in a territory where a black lawman would attract too much attention — much of it dangerous attention. As we’ve discussed, his story was appropriated too, as he became the white Lone Ranger, whose own (very Captain Metropolis-esque) mask is less essential to protecting his life.

So when Will’s white colleagues conduct a near-fatal lynching to discourage him from looking into the activities of their secret racist organization, Cyclops, Will staggers away with the noose still around his neck and the hood they’d slipped over him in his hands. He impulsively puts it back on to conceal his identity while rescuing a white couple from a mugging(*). But in the aftermath of that event, he and June realize that he can reclaim the hood and the noose, using them against their persecutors in a manner not that far removed from the way oppressed minority groups turn slurs against them into slogans of pride. To make it work, though, June argues, Will has to conceal not just his face, but his entire racial identity, using makeup to lighten the skin around his eyes (the only part of him visible under the mask and elaborate head-to-toe costume they cook up).

(*) It’s not quite saving Bruce Wayne’s parents from being murdered (this couple doesn’t have a kid with them, and there’s more than one attacker), but the scene is evocative enough to dovetail nicely with the early Superman discussion.

It’s an inspired choice — by June and by the series. The makeup (which looks convincing enough in the episode’s black-and-white photography) allows the TV show to remain largely faithful to the comic, which kept Hooded Justice’s true identity a mystery. Who’s to say he wasn’t a black man who held himself apart from the rest of the Minutemen (other than their leader, that is) because he was afraid of having his race exposed to the world? And the makeup creates the appearance of an inversion of the Lone Ranger’s mask — and, for that matter, of the very dark makeup that Angela puts around her own eyes when she��s operating as Sister Night. Grandfather and granddaughter are both cops who dress up on the side, but under very different circumstances. He’s operating wholly outside the law, while she is mostly trying to operate within it. He has to keep his race hidden; she wears hers proudly, in open defiance of the Seventh Kavalry.

But whatever the reason and the context, Watchmen — both comic and TV series — repeatedly insists that wearing a mask is as unhealthy as nostalgia. Will wears his as a way to channel his rage at a racist world — and perhaps at the world that forces him to keep his sexuality as secret as his skin color — but over time, it only makes him angrier. Nelson Gardner wears the Captain Metropolis mask less out of a desire to battle injustice than a more adolescent wish for adventure, mixed in with it being a kink. (Like Agent Petey, he likes to wear it in bed.) The episode doesn’t even get into the pathologies of the other Minutemen — they’re blurs in the background of the group photo we see being taken — but we know that Laurie’s father was an attempted rapist. The longer that Will wears his interlocking masks (the hood and the makeup), and the clearer it becomes that his lover Nelson won’t do anything to help fight Cyclops, the more the fires of his rage are stoked. After discovering that Cyclops is using subliminal images and other forms of mesmerism to trick black people into hurting themselves, he decides to attack the group’s headquarters on his own, wearing both his NYPD uniform and his superhero hood. Like his granddaughter, he is playing cop and vigilante at the same time, and it has long since ceased to be fun and games (if it ever was for him). He’s just shooting racists in the head, and then, once the bullets in his service revolver run out, strangling the last one and lighting all the bodies on fire.

Even that action doesn’t burn the rage from his soul, and instead he winds up taking it out on his poor son (Angela’s father), whom he finds putting on the white makeup — a little boy just trying to imitate the dad he loves and respects so much. He chases his wife and son away in the process, and while there was little healthy about the relationship — which began with Will literally caring for June when she was the crying baby in the field outside Tulsa — it leaves Will once again alone, unable to get back to the only family he knows. From here, the Nostalgia trip leaps ahead to 2019, so that Angela can witness the murder of Judd — who hangs himself, with some coaxing from the Cyclops device that Will hung onto — which means we don’t know what he’s been doing over the decades in between. But based on the look on his face as he clutches that old noose to his midsection while waiting for Judd, it doesn’t seem to have been a happy life for him. After the unexplained glimpse of an old woman promising to take someone — Will? Angela? — home with her, Angela finally wakes up as herself in one of Lady Trieu’s labs, perhaps not far away from the man whose life she just got to know with great, horrifying intimacy.

Thematically, it’s easy to understand why Lindelof was so excited by the idea of the first superhero being black. It recontextualizes a lot of what’s in the comic book without unfairly altering any of it, and it ties in beautifully to the ideas percolating in the show’s vision of 2019 America. Given that Hooded Justice’s sexuality is now public knowledge, 7K probably doesn’t have much use for him as an icon; their own inspiration, Rorschach, was an avowed homophobe. But it would still probably rock their worldview to find out that it was a black man who inspired Rorschach, and, by proxy, them to don masks in pursuit of their own interpretation of the law(*). They’re concealing their identities in indirect tribute to him, even as they’re continuing the vile traditions of all the people Hooded Justice put on his own masks to fight. It transforms everything we’ve seen (and, for some of us, read) before in this world, and unlocks a deeper meaning to the whole series. Now it’s not just incidental that there’s a superhero race war in the show’s 2019; it’s history painfully repeating itself again and again, just as it has in our America.

(*) Or maybe they’d just compartmentalize? The whole thing conjures up memories of that great scene in Do the Right Thing where Mookie points out to his racist coworker Pino that all of Pino’s favorite celebrities are black, forcing Pino to contort himself to explain why Magic Johnson, Eddie Murphy, and Prince are “more than black.” Never underestimate human beings’ capacity for cognitive dissonance.

Beyond a thematic stroke of brilliance, the episode — directed by Lost and Leftovers vet Stephen Williams — is a technical marvel. The black-and-white photography (by Greg Middleton) and big band soundtrack neatly take us back to the late Thirties, even as other production choices keep reminding us that this is a memory and not a time machine. As a tribute to Steven Spielberg’s use of the girl in the red coat in Schindler’s List Pale Horse, there are occasional splashes of color, particularly whenever Will’s mother is seen playing the movie theater piano. Certain aspects of the production design, like the precinct doors, are presented as completely false stage sets, as further evidence of the artificiality of Angela’s presence here. When June asks Will to again tell her the plot of Trust in the Law, the movie irises open on the wall behind them. The transitions between Adepo and King appear seamless, I’m told, because they were: As the camera spun around the other actor in those scenes, Adepo quickly stepped out and King in (or vice versa). It’s a special effects technique almost as old as Trust in the Law. And though she’s not in the episode a lot, Regina King does amazing physical work at evoking both Adepo and then Lou Gossett Jr. in the scene with Judd; the way her posture mimics Gossett’s in the wheelchair left my jaw on the floor.

The edits feel more purposeful — like the cut from June (who appears to have some suspicions about her man’s sexuality) telling Will “No!” about joining the Minutemen, followed immediately by Nelson screaming “YES!” while in bed with Will — as does the absence of them in certain spots. The fight in the American Hero Story clip again looks like a Zack Snyder parody, but most of the real Hooded Justice fight scenes are presented as continuous takes, with Will a relentless whirling dervish who nonetheless does only things within the realm of what’s physically possible for an ordinary (if very strong and angry) man. We get an inversion of the American Hero Story clip from episode two, where instead of Hooded Justice crashing into a store to save the shopkeeper from some dastardly robbers, he is instead leaping out of the window because the shopkeeper himself is the criminal. (It’s only as he smashes through the glass that the Snyder/bullet-time effects come back, but as a way to illustrate Laurie and Cal’s failed attempt to pull Angela out of this dangerous trip.)

Even for a series that is already a huge departure from the source material, “This Exceptional Being” is an enormous gamble. It barely features any of the regular cast. It largely makes do without that hypnotic Reznor/Ross score (which comes roaring back as old man Will prepares to deal with Judd), and is told in a completely different visual language from the previous five chapters. And it completely recontextualizes all that’s happened before.

But it’s a gamble that pays off spectacularly, in one of the best hours of television that Damon Lindelof’s ever been involved in. When you consider the peaks of Lost and The Leftovers, that is a very exceptional being, indeed.

Some other thoughts, several of them comic book-related:

* With most of the regular cast on the bench or limited to cameos, we got a bunch of familiar guest stars besides Jackson as the TV version of Hooded Justice, including ER alum Erik Palladino as one of the two homophobic FBI agents from the American Hero Story scene, TV’s Jake McDorman (recently seen as Murphy Brown’s son in the short-lived revival) as Captain Metropolis, and ubiquitous HBO player Glenn Fleshler (Boardwalk Empire, True Detective, Barry) as Fred the racist shopkeeper.

* A Veidt interlude would have felt even more out of place here than it did in last week’s Looking Glass spotlight, where at least he was connected to the plot down on Earth. So we don’t bother going to Europa at all. But Will arranging the Cyclops corpses in a tableau before lighting them on fire very much evokes what Veidt did last week with all the clones — which in turn was was an homage to the scene in the pirate comic within the original comic, where the hero has to build a raft out of the bodies of his dead comrades. (Like Veidt, he chose to use corpses to escape exile.)

* The episode’s title comes from a line in Under the Hood, the memoir of the original Nite Owl, Hollis Mason, that ran as bonus material at the end of the comic book’s first few issues. It’s part of Mason’s description of Hooded Justice, who inspired Mason — himself a member of the NYPD — to put on tights and a mask. Mason is interesting as an outlier to the psychological dysfunction of almost every other costumed character in the comic (and now in the show). He’s just a well-adjusted, morally upright guy who adopts a costumed identity because he sees how effective Hooded Justice is and wants to help people in the same way.

* That group photo, by the way? It’s one of the more famous images from the comic, where both Mason and Laurie’s mother Sally have framed copies in their homes. (And it literally accompanies the Snyder film’s title.) It’s also an important plot point, because Edward Blake’s attempted rape of Sally happens a few minutes after the photo is taken.

* Beyond largely sidelining the usual synth pieces of Reznor and Ross’ score, the episode’s soundtrack naturally leans on vintage songs, even if some of them are anachronistic. The Eartha Kitt cover of “Smoke Gets In Your Eyes” that plays over Will’s assault on the warehouse, for instance, was recorded in 1952 — in the same session where she sang the version of “Santa Baby” that played during the White Night flashback from Episode Two, further linking Will to Angela. (And linking both of them to one of the performers who famously played Catwoman.) There’s also an original song, “Used to Be,” with music and lyrics by Reznor and Ross, that plays as the cops abduct Will and hang him from the tree, and reprises as the older Will makes Judd hang himself.

* Finally, this isn’t exactly Watchmen-related, but Hooded Justice’s new origin story reminded me of perhaps my favorite DC Comic since Watchmen came out: New Frontier, written and drawn by the late, great Darwyn Cooke. Set mostly in the 1950s as Green Lantern, Flash, Martian Manhunter, and more battle the paranoia of the era as much as they do aliens and supervillains, the miniseries also includes a new hero named John Henry. Inspired by the steel-driving African American folk hero of the same name, both his origin and his costume have several things in common with Hooded Justice. This is a coincidence — Lindelof had never heard of New Frontier until I mentioned it to him — but anyone who liked this episode might want to give it a read.

#watchmen hbo #watchmen #american hero story #bass reeves #lone ranger #cultural appropriation #hooded justice #recap #rolling stone magazine #tv #television #hbo series #long read #long reads #this exceptional being

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maryseward666 · 7 years

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JEFF BECERRA Puts An End To Debate Over Who Was The First Death Metal Band: DEATH Or POSSESSED

RARE BLACK METAL COLLECTIBLES

Antihero Magazine's Matt Mills conducted an interview with frontman Jeff Becerra of legendary extreme metal innovators POSSESSED after the band's performance at this year's Bloodstock Open Air festival, which was held August 9-12 at Catton Hall, Walton-On-Trent, West Midlands, United Kingdom. You can listen to the full interview below. A few excerpts follow (transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET). On the never-ending debate on who can lay claim to being the first "true" death metal band: DEATH or POSSESSED: Jeff: "Here's the story: Between [pre-DEATH outfit] MANTAS and the first DEATH album [1987's 'Scream Bloody Gore'], [DEATH leader] Chuck [Schuldiner] moved out to our fan club president's house to be around us. He's quoted in countless magazines that POSSESSED is his primary influence. His album came out two years after 'Seven Churches', which was written in '82/'83. Chuck was a very dear friend of mine. We used to sit and talk, we were the best of friends. And, so he was heavily influenced by POSSESSED. He was proud of that. He's quoted on that many times. In fact, people started calling DEATH 'POSSESSED clones' so much that he distanced himself a little bit and started saying 'I don't even play death metal. I play progressive metal.' The funny thing is, ironically enough, if Chuck were alive today, he wouldn't want to be called 'death metal,' he'd want to be called 'progressive metal.' I remember Chuck coming up to me after 'Scream Bloody Gore' saying 'This just might sound like you.' He was proud of that and I was proud of him and we were friends. I loved him. I'm not trying to take anything away from DEATH, because they're fucking awesome. I think that they were influenced by POSSESSED, but they ran with it and went in their own direction and created their own vibe. They don't need to claim anything, but DEATH is DEATH. They're a fantastic band and fantastic musicians and fantastic friends. I just wish he was alive today so we could collaborate. To go a step further: Chuck used ['80s death/thrash producer] Randy Burns, who did 'Seven Churches' to do 'Scream Bloody Gore', his first album. He also did a cover of [POSSESSED's] 'The Exorcist'." On whether the 1980s Bay Area metal scene felt like a "movement": Jeff: "It very much did. Yes. There was a magic happening in the air back then. I'm seeing the same kind of flow happening again. I mean, with grunge, it seemed like death metal almost became a joke. It almost died. Now to see it back and flourishing and it's so alive and well. It's just fucking great. I was actually worried in the '90s that death metal would just disappear. Now that it's alive and well, it's fucking awesome." On whether nu metal bands such as KORN and LIMP BIZKIT got under his skin: Jeff: "I appreciate all art, all music. I think that everyone's entitled to play whatever they want. You know, that's their thing and they were good at it. I play my genre, they play their genre. The world would be a pretty fucking boring place if there was only one genre. I love all art." On why death metal continues to survive: Jeff: "I think death metal is a lifestyle. I think people take pride in being death metalheads. I think there's something core and primal about it that people really relate to. I think that exists in every art. But, I couldn't tell you any more than that we love it and that's our thing." On the status of the band's new studio album, which will be their first full-length album since 1986's "Beyond The Gates": Jeff: "I think you're going to hear some really fucking good death metal, man. I'm really happy with a lot of the tracks. I'm still writing in the process; I'm writing a lot of music, writing all of the lyrics, of course. I'm also collaborating with [new POSSESSED members] Daniel [Gonzalez, guitar] and Claudeous [Creamer, guitar]. We're working together hard to create something that we really like. We're hoping that translates well to other people and beyond. We're hoping people like it. If they don't, then fuck them." On the musical direction of POSSESSED's forthcoming new album: Jeff: "Well, it's me. I'm still me. I would say…it's very POSSESSED-y, but it's not so dated. I think as much as I love the first three albums, they're a little dated, so we're trying to bring it back into this century. We're not going to over-produce it or do anything but straight death metal. It's just what I want to play and what the band wants to play. We're really enjoying ourselves. So far, the demos went over really well." POSSESSED recently inked a worldwide deal with Nuclear Blast. Watch a short teaser video announcing the signing that includes a short snippet of a new song demo below. Fans can expect POSSESSED's first full-length release in over three decades sometime in 2018. Becerra remains the only member from POSSESSED's classic lineup, which dissolved entirely in 1987 after the "Eyes Of Horror" EP.

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viralhottopics · 8 years

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An In-Depth Discussion About How Psychotic All The Girls On This Season Of The Bachelor Are

This episode of opens with all the girls talking about how they can’t even sleep because they are so excited to be dating Nick. He’s a slutty nerd with a weird speaking affect who seems terrible at being in a relationship, but okay, he’s got a hot body now (thanks crossfit), so I’m tracking.

This week Chris Harrison greets the girls and tells them it’s “physically impossible” for all the girls to go on a date, even though Chris Harrison invents how many days inhabit the “weeks” and how much time there is for the dates to exist. But, sure, let’s create scarcity for content because we all know whatever Chris says the girls are going to react like this:

Bye Bye bitch

Liz

OMG lol. Liz is such a tragic psycho and I don’t even feel bad for her. If she genuinely believes she’s a victim here she deserves her own reality show because she is on another plane of existence. She manipulates Nick by turning him down after they have a seemingly awesome night of sex and then shows up NINE MONTHS LATER on his reality show to yell at him for not pursuing her. 0_0

ranking the girls this week

Jaimie

Not really sure why she’s here.

Kristina

At the beginning of every season you can kind of tell who is there as filler and who is getting a low key edit so the producers don’t blow their load before the drama driven finale. Kristina is the former, not the latter.

Jasmine

Jasmine is crazy and going to get crazier and I am HERE FOR IT. She’s a former Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader which you might know if you watch the best show on television . She sticks through this episode and there’s absolutely no way she makes it to the end — BUT — she’s going to be really fun to watch.

Corinne

Corinne is my absolute idol. Corinne takes a situation in which everyone is wearing disgusting wedding dresses while she wears a bikini and feels threatened because other girl is wearing only bikini bottoms and mermaid hair and makes it into an obstacle she’s overcome. “I didn’t just go into this photo shoot with no clothes, I actually was daring enough to take them off.”

For the LOLs, here’s Jasmine’s reaction to Corinne taking her top off:

Unfortunately Corinne says in her on camera interview “no one has ever held my boobs like that” of Nick during her photoshoot. This is unfortunate because he was scared and awkward and not good. Corinne! You can do better! Go on Tinder!

Alexis

Alexis is the shotgun wedding so she gets to play dress up again, which is perfect for her. Nick seems intrigued that she’s so adventurous, but I think with anyone who knows someone like Alexis, eventually you just want to know if they’re capable of having an attention span longer than a fruit fly. We’ll see how long she sticks around.

Hailey

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Hailey bitches and moans about how her family would “kill her” if she took her top off in a swimming pool but literally yesterday she was telling Nick (and America!) that she wasn’t wearing any panties, which is way skankier because there’s no element of fun.

Josephine

Josephine belongs in a mental institution but she’s nice and fun to watch so I’ll allow it.

Dominique

Dominique is left out of this weeks dates. Maybe she had THAT great of a connection with Nick on night one, or maybe he’s biding his time to eliminate her.

Whitney

Whitney also didn’t get a date but if it’s between her and Dominique, one is a pilates instructor and the other is a server…

Lacey

I have a feeling Lacey is totally filler here and she’s going to regret wasting compliments like “Nick could wear a paper bag and look good” on his corny ass. She’s featured a lot in this episode because she gives good recaps to producers. When she kissed Nick she says “tastes like Danielle”.

Taylor

I think going to school and getting a bunch of degrees used to ensure you were a smart person but Taylor is the most recent in a long line of people who seem to use degrees to claim that they are smart… while proving otherwise. Like, I’m sure she could recite some social work textbook verbatim but… does she actually know anything? He social skills are shocking for a therapist, she has no clue how to make people comfortable or what an appropriate thing to say is.

Raven

Raven “left a lot at home” to come here and “find love” so she’s sad that Nick’s time is being monopolized by Corinne and her braless ways. Again, I really don’t think Nick is going to be into her vibe. Wrong place wrong time to be on cause any other guy would eat it up.

Astrid

Astrid goes on Nick’s bizarro breakup museum date and we don’t see a lot from her, but she doesn’t feel like the kind of filler that’s not showcased because she’s going to be promptly eliminated.

Vanessa

Somehow I feel like this 80’s white trash wedding look actually Vanessa. Like, her angular face was just for this episode to air.

Elizabeth

Elizabeth is just her sweet self while other girls do things like make her crush feel their boobs. I have high hopes that she’s a dark horse who will do better as the season goes on, but for now she’s a total wallflower.

Sarah

Sarah literally looks like this all the time. I can’t take her seriously. I feel like someone would punch her in the face and she’d be super psyched about it.

Brittany

Can. We. Talk. About. How. Incredible. Brittany. Looks. This. Episode ????

Wow. This is my dream vacation outfit.

Just hope Nick isn’t as disappointed as I am when he remembers in real life she has short hair.

Danielle L

“I’ve never been a bridesmaid before” which is perfect because “Nick’s never been a groom before”. Ummm. Does this person know how weddings/life works? That doesn’t even make sense.

But anyways Danielle L doesn’t get a lot of air time this episode but she’s safe because of her amazing cleavage on night one and because this episode is devote to how much of a psycho Liz is.

Christen

I think Christen is the most beautiful girl left on this show. She seems level-headed and cool. I’m not convinced she has any spark with Nick, but I hope she goes far.

Danielle M

My mom told me a rumor that Danielle M was in a music video for a country singer back in Nashville, so we definitely don’t think she’s there “for the right reasons”. HOWEVER, she definitely has the right kind of charm to fool Nick, so I’m not convinced she isn’t going to be around for a long time.

Also she tells a weird sob story about how her fiance died of a drug overdose. Like legit, I love people who talk about their addiction stories and try to get better. I’m super sorry someone died but it’s also weird to be engaged to someone who is addicted to drugs??? Is that rude to mention??? How is it normal/forever person material to be engaged to someone who is addicted to drugs???

Rachel Lindsey

Rachel didn’t go on a date this week, but I assume that’s because she got the first impression rose — meaning Nick wants to take a time out to get to know some of the more iffy girls before he circles back to see how strong his connection is with his main girl.

Burning Question for next week’s episode

Will anyone be able to get over Nick’s gross face after he says ‘Liz and I had sex’ ???

Will Nick regret driving up to the house in a convertible like a douchebag to begin his apology tour???

Will Vanessa continue to be confused about the morals of a guy she watched fucked two other girls on television before uprooting her life to pursue (also on television) ???

Will we FINALLY get a rose ceremony????