#thelecture

[silentsalty]

“…have you been hanging out with timekeeper again?”

((Im just bored so uhh *yeet the jester turned scholar towards you))

A familiar yet foreign cookie walks upon the land. He darts left to right, trying to find a way back

"Oh Witches, I'm lost..........again"

@sage-0ftruth

Silent salt cookie points their sword at the cookie, and assumes a defensive stance

[detectivezedd]

LIFE OF A SHY GUY ! !

.Episode 4..I woke up very late thenext day. I quickly tookmy bath and got preparedfor school. I left homeimmediately without havingbreakfast. I was supposed tohave lecture by 8:am but itwas already 8:15am. I got tothe building the lecture washolding and peeped throughthe window. The lecture wasalready going on and thelecturer could be seen at thepodium impacting knowledgeon the students…

[sirranzid-blog]

TheLecturer

Alan had worked as a lecturer in MIT for 2 years . He had seen many students come and go but Mellissa  was something different.   In lectures she seemed to stand out in the crowd ; everyone noticed her as she had a presence that just forced you to look.

It was summer and the university’s air conditioner had broken. The students in Alan's lecture resembled the cast more from a zombie film than the academic elite that they were meant to be.

The lecture was 10 minutes in when Mellissa glided in wearing the thinnest summer dress that she could get away with. It took Alan a good few seconds to stop looking and berate her.

"Mellissa, glad you could join us; I hope we didn't inconvenience you too much.  Maybe we can change the start time for you next time?"

Mellissa  went bright red. She wasn't used to being picked on.

"Er  I’m sorry sir; I was in a meeting with the head of school."

As Mellissa  spoke Alan felt a ..stirring ...deep down.. he quickly pushed it down... He shouldn't feel like that about a student... But the way she replied..was...almost inviting.

"Take a seat at the front and try and catch up Mellissa "

Mellissa  quickly shuffled over to her seat.. and sat down...She didn't notice but Alan... and a good portion of the room noticed her perfectly formed breasts almost free themselves as she sat down..

Alan blinked and forced himself to regain composure..

He carried on the lecture.. and in lulls and stolen moments managed to gaze upon Mellissa’s glistening body... Her every curve lovingly hugged by the dress..

When the lecture was over, Alan had to stand next to his table as the students left... He had lost his battle to stop his urges..

2.

Alan was in his office .. marking up even more papers .. so many students were trying to use Google copy and paste to pass their degree when there was a knock at the door.

Before Alan could answer, the door creaked open and Mellissa poked her head around and in the sweetest voice Alan had heard in a long time .. she said..

"Sir.. may I come in I need to talk to you"

"Of course Mellissa. Come in and take a seat"

"Sir.. I’m er... "  she stumbled over her words " I’m behind with my work and I’ve lost my text book.. I’m so sorry sir. I’ve looked everywhere.  Can I borrow one please.. please sir?"

Mellissa’s pleas were almost electric .. It was like Alan’s ears were connected to his boxers...

 "Ok ok calm down Mellissa ... you can borrow my old text book, but really you need to catch up a lot.  I’m missing the past 4 essays from you; go over to the bookcase. It’s on the bottom shelf."

"Yes sir. Thank you sir.. Over here?"

Mellissa pointed.

"Yes just there .. Is there anything else you need?"

"Well ... yes I need Dr. Hopkins book on discrete mathematics."

Alan sighed.

"Mellissa you need to sort your work out or your going to get into a lot of trouble."

"Yes I’m sorry sir."

"I’ll get it for you."

Alan started to get up just as Mellissa was kneeling down to look at the bottom shelf... She was wearing her thin dress again... The morning sun through the window seemed to accentuate her already pronounced curves.. and with her first bending over then kneeling down.. there was little left to Alan’s already overworked imagination...

He walked over to the bookshelf and stood behind Mellissa who was engrossed in checking the books...

He reached over carefully avoiding the knelt Mellissa to grab his book on discrete mathematics...As he started to pull it out .. Mellissa said…

"Got it"

and started to stand up....

Time seemed to slow down for Alan, but the sound of his thumping heart was faster than ever... Mellissa, not realizing how close Alan was, had started to stand up...

Her pert...soft beautiful bottom started to rub and slide up Alan’s trousers...edging closer to his crotch...

She didn’t seem to notice or stop as she glided over Alan’s excited front...

Alan gasped and Mellissa finally seemed to notice what had happened... she turned around... achingly close to him and looked up with the cutest...but also the dirtiest little grin on her face...

"Ohh .. I’m sorry sir. I didn’t realize you were there.."

Alan had to clear his throat and stumbled over his words..

"Err yes I was there and er .. its ok... I  iii... have your book .. .here"

He thrust his book at her like the nervous teenager he felt like...

Mellissa took the book slowly... then still looking up at Alan lowered her arms with a book in each.. and dropped them on the floor...

  3.

  "Mellissa?"

 Alan’s heart dipped ... her eyes were glued to his.. those big wide brown eyes... He couldn’t help but let his flick down for a second to Mellissa’s exposed cleavage... It dawned on Alan that she couldn’t be wearing a bra...

 "Sir ... I ....felt you."

 Mellissa said in a lower ..more husky tone...

 Alan was stumped... he was lost for words... his mind was blank.. all he could think about was the carnal visceral pleasures set before him...

 "I..."

 He started but .. then ... stopped... he was lost..

 "It’s ok sir.. I liked it"

 Mellissa cocked her head slightly to the side as she said it and seemed to lap her tongue when she said formed the work like.. .her eyes darted down to Alan’s crotch for a second then back up...

 "Mellissa I don’t think it’s appropriate for us to ..."

 His words were cut short as Mellissa lowered herself down into a squat, and then leaning forward, letting her breasts stroke Alan all the way up his body...

 The thin dress couldn’t contain Mellissa with what had happened, and so her breasts now almost fully exposed now seemed to draw the eye to them with an unseen force..

 Alan was close to breaking point.... he wanted Mellissa so much it literally hurt.. His trousers seemed to groan under the strain...

 "Oh sir i think...I fell out of my top..."

 Mellissa said slowly tracing the outline of her pert pink exposed nipple...

 Alan snapped .. He couldn’t take it anymore ... He strode up to Mellissa and slid his hands over her exposed breasts .... as he touched he couldn’t help but let out an animalistic groan..

 Mellissa gasped and her eyes rolled back in her head...

 Alan spun her around and pushed her against the wall... sliding his hand under her dress .. he felt her soft silky legs and his hand slid all the way up...

 Mellissa moaned loudly as Alan’s strong hands met her uncovered pussy... she tensed and twitched ... she couldn’t help it ...

 Alan lifted her skirt and practically ripped his trousers open...

 He grabbed Mellissa’s pert cheeks and held his cock just on her unashamedly wet pussy....

 * Knock Knock*

 "Shit ... get dressed Mellissa... quickly"

 Alan whispered hurriedly

 Mellissa quickly re-arranged her dress and fixed her hair.. picking up the books...

 Alan hopped back towards his desk forcing his throbbing member back into his trousers..

 He dropped back down into his seat as Mellissa sat in hers... just as the dean walked in

 "oh hi Alan. I didn’t realize you were busy .. we have a staff meeting in 5 ok?"

 "Of course dean. I’ll be there right away."

 "Mellissa ..I..."

 "Sir .. I’ll see you in our next lecture.."

 She winked.. and left the room.. leaving the close to heart attack Alan gasping for air...

 4.

 After Alan’s very embarrassing meeting, where he sat cross legged for the whole hour, he sat back in his office... he tried to carry on marking but kept finding his gaze moving over to the spot where he and Mellissa had....

 He tried to push it out of his head .. it was a terrible mistake that he must not do again.

 Later that week there was another lecture with Mellissa , and Alan prepared himself best he could, but what greeted his eyes that day... was kryptonite to his will..

 He stood in the theatre .. first he didn’t notice... focusing as much as he could on the rest of the room. He went deeply into the mathematics of the problems .. blinkering his mind as best he could ... but when he dropped his chalk... and picked it up....

 she was there....

 No more thin summery dresses now. She had a neat pleated green skirt down to her knees and a crisp white shirt .. .with just the slightest hint of her pink bra underneath...

 He knew he had to talk to her after the lecture as she was still behind on her work...

 He pushed the thought out of his head as best as he could until the lecture was over ...

 "Mellissa stay behind,"  he said .. impressed at the sturdiness of his voice..

 "Ohh sirr but I have to go I’m going to a party."

 "Mellissa.. You’re still behind on your work .. and now you want to go out to parties?"

 "Ohh I’m not dealing with this now."

 She said flippantly .. and started to walk past Alan..

 He felt her skirt waft over his legs...

 He shuddered .. then quickly regained his senses...

 "Young lady. If you walk out now, you fail my class."

 Mellissa stopped as if someone had just pulled her puppet strings..

 "Nnoo please sir.. I’m sorry. I’m just under a lot of pressure and and I .. "

 "I’m starting not to care why Mellissa.. because you don’t seem to want to try .."

 "I do sir.  I really, really do."

 She was close to him again now looking up with those eyes... He caught a flash of a pink bra strap and he had to look away...

 "Sir please .. I know you like me ... maybe I can...."

 "Step closer,"  he said in a deeper, more menacing voice..

 Mellissa felt an inexorable urge to move close... she stood inches away from his chest..

 "You have a lot of work to do young lady."

 With that he put his hand on her shoulder... the shirt was thin.. so he could feel the rounded plastic of her bra strap... He looked down at her innocent round eyes and moved his hand down from her shoulder.. softly tracing the shirt... until he connected with her breast...he felt its warmth through the shirt...her eyes blinked and she gasped....turning bright red....he kept going feeling the frilly rim of her bra cup...before cupping around it slowly...he started to slowly move her soft warm breast around in his hand...her breath quickened.. but she was still looking away... with a cute red face ...so reaching out with his other hand, Alan held her chin with his thumb and forefinger and gently directed her face towards him ...

 "Mellissa... I think we need to finish what we started before..."

  5.

 Mellissa stared up at Alan .. her face burning red.. her body weak... putty in Alan’s hands... literally in fact as he had cupped his strong, hard hand around her breast and was teasing it so much it tingled..

 "Sir we’re ... awfully exposed in here aren’t we?"

 Mellissa said meekly..

 "I know... that’s what will make this fun... now ..unbutton your shirt"

 "Si  sii siirr?"

 "You heard me .. Now if you want to pass ... do it"

 Mellissa looked at the floor again... she was turned on incredibly so.. but still her heart raced in her chest... 

 She slowly started to undo her shirt...letting it fall apart bit by bit as she went down past her bra...

 Before she could finish...  she felt Alan’s hands slide into her newly opened shirt...cupping her breasts...her arms were frozen she was starting to shake... she was starting to be thankful she wore a skirt...

 Alan was, once again, testing his boxers way past what they were designed for... but he wanted her.....

 He grabbed her hips and spun her around...sliding his arms under hers, he gripped her ...pulling her shirt open and ensuring her arms were locked...

 "Siir, anyone could see!"

 Without answering Alan leaned over and started kissing Mellissa’s neck... she arched it sideways moaning as he ravished her soft skin...

 Mellissa was helpless ...shivering with each hard kiss Alan made...

 She forced out the words..."Pleease sir"

 Alan let her go... she stumbled a little but then turned around to face him...shirt hanging like a forgotten memory...

 Alan walked close to her again this time with a grin Mellissa knew was trouble...

 He reached out gently and took her hand...

 Her mind raced as to where he was going to take them.... but as she was thinking...she felt her hand being gently directed... right onto Alan’s crotch...

 Her soft warm hands seemed to grasp onto Alan almost by design...

 She felt him through the rough trousers... felt his warmth .. and the pulsing beat of his heart....

 She looked up... begging him with her eyes...

 He smiled and gave a short nod....

 and so she slipped her hand up and started to unzip his trousers... even the large zip had warmed up... as it slowly descended downwards...Mellissa was greeted by black boxers that were pulled so tightly she could  have traced his ...bulge...

 Breathing very shallow now she reached her hand into his trousers...

 He was fiery hot .. .and as soon as he touched.... he let out a deep low groan....

 She looked up to see his face twisted in what must have been an uncontrollable reaction...

 Her nimble fingers probed his boxers until they found the opening...sliding her hands inside, she griped hold of him... feeling the hard...throbbing veiny cock she remembered from the other day..

 She pulled him out of his boxer prison... and was presented with it in the open for the first time....

 Alan saw her eyed widen in shock ... and awe...  she was frozen...staring ...her chest bobbing up and down making her perfect breasts rock up and down....

 He knew she needed a little help... and so reached down and put his hand over hers.. which was already gripping the base of his cock...she was startled but still transfixed on him...

 So he started to a long slow stroke...with her hand under his...

 The rhythmic sliding up and down of his cock in front of her seemed to snap Mellissa back into life... and Alan felt her hand start to lead the stroke...

 He gently let go... and let her speed up... watching his cock twitch with pleasure...

 She leant in...opening her soft supple lips wide to accommodate him...at first the softest of touches on his tip then her lips tensed and he slid deeper inside her mouth..... her tongue flick and lashed at his cock as it slid in like a trapped wild animal...

 Mellissa started to take him deep into her mouth... resisting her gag reflex as much as she could... before letting him out...

 She went faster and faster.... hearing Alan groaning deeply and feeling his cock twitch and pulse in her mouth...  She wanted him to cum badly...not only because she would love it ..but so she could be finished.....

 Alan seemed to hear her thoughts as he softly pushed her away; her eyes darted up in puzzlement...

 "Not so easy Mellissa...this is just the appetizer"

 6.

 Lifting the now visibly shaking Mellissa up, Alan started to button up her blouse ..

 "Now put me back in my trousers and zip me up."

 Mellissa was more excited than she had ever felt... She gladly put the dripping wet cock back into its home...

 "Now follow me Mellissa .. There’s another lecture on in a few minutes... "

 Mellissa let herself be led up the lecture theatre to the booth at the back where the projector and sound equipment was kept...with a jingle of keys, Alan opened the door and pushed Mellissa in...

 "Sir? ... if there’s a lecture on .. wont people see us?"

 Mellissa said with a hint of panic.

 "Shhh ... its mirrored glass... as long as your quiet.. I can do to you whatever I want."

 Alan pushed Mellissa further into the booth and locked the door... it was cramped and small with large glass windows looking out over the lecture hall...

 Mellissa was facing out into the empty room.. it looked strange from this angle... like it was on tv or something..

 Alan walked up behind Mellissa... and pressed himself against her perfectly shaped bottom...

 "Ohh sir... I..."

 Mellissa was shocked and gasped from the feeling of Alan against her... even though it was through clothes... she felt him throb against her..

 Alan leaned forward...making his crotch rub against Mellissa’s skirt... and started to slide his hands up her now slightly crinkled white shirt.....all the way up over her excited breasts...They felt even hotter now.. and her nipples were pressing out so far they had gathered the shirt around them...

 Alan started to move his hips slowly.. powerfully against Mellissa who was now pressed against the sound table... his nimble fingers rolling her hard nipples through her top..

 Mellissa hadn’t been concentrating but students had started to gather in the lecture hall....

 Her eyes were open wide in fear but also... uncontrollable pleasure from behind...

 "Sir,"  she whispered .."they really cant see us?"

 "No they cant..." he answered in a deep voice..

 With that, Alan took a hand away from Mellissa’s top .. and slid it between her legs..just at the bottom of her skirt...

 His first touch produced a loud moan from Mellissa...and so with the tips of his fingers, he started to glide his hand up her skirt..up from the back of her knee...slowly snaking up her inner thigh....

 Finally he reached the top....softly touching her cotton panties..... Mellissa moaned again and tensed....

 Alan’s hand after first touching so softly began to slide over the underside of Mellissa’s panties....eventually reaching ...her centre of pleasure..

 With the tiniest of touches, Mellissa’s body twitched and jerked... her legs opened wider and she let out a slow gasping moan...

 Still rolling and playing with her nipples, Alan used his other hand to slowly...and softly ...trace his finger around Mellissa's clit through her panties...

 He could feel that she had already soaked her panties.... and so slid his hand up from her ample breasts to her neck.. and pulled her back slowly...turning her head so he could look into her eyes.....

 He leaned in....millimetres away from her face...eyes fixed on hers....

 "I’m going to fuck you senseless Mellissa"

 With that he kissed her...his powerful lips enveloping hers.. tugging at them... biting.... She couldn’t help but be deeply turned on ... his tongue slid into hers flicking and playing with her own.

 As they kissed, Alan pressed a little harder on her clit..now moving it around with his fingers through her wet panties...

 Mellissa tried to moan while kissing....

 Alan stepped back.. and spun Mellissa around to face him .. her red face and shaking body just drove him wild...  he knelt down in front of her...held her knees and pushed them apart....

 Mellissa felt the stubble from his face move up her legs...to her most intimate area.... then.. without warning she felt his teeth against her ...they slid together pinching her panties.. but impressively not her....

 Alan then pulled her panties down to her ankles using nothing but his teeth...

 He softly kissed her high up on her inner thigh causing yet another gasp....

 Then he started to kiss higher....and higher... feeling her thighs shake with the very thought of what was coming...

 7.

 mellissa couldn’t help but tense herself as alan got closer...

 his hands now slideing up her legs onto her hips..

 then with the softest touch... he kissed her engorged clit...

 "ohhhh"  mellissa half moaned

 she could see people walking past the window now.. getting their seats which just seemed to make her clit pulse and throb even more..

 she could feel alans warm breath on her as he used the very tip of his tongue to trace her sensative lips all the way up to her clit flicking it ever so gently.

 her legs were shaking uncontrollably now.. as alan teased her pussy..softly spreading her and licking again...

 His hands slid around to her soft smooth bum and pulled her closer .. his tongue now flat and laping up all of her pussy...

 alan looked up to the tormented face above him.. seeing her breasts bob up and down with her shallow breathing..

 he paused for a second to admire the twitching glistening perfect pussy in front of him...

 he smiled .. knowing what was coming next...

 he leaned in , making his tongue as pointed as he could.. delving into the space between her clit and hood and started to circle around her now trembling clit...

 mellissa made soft slow wail.....

 as she wailed alan wraped his lips around her circled clit and started to suck...

 mellissa felt a surge of pleasure wash through her body .. she was using all her willpower to stay stood up while her pussy was filled with this electricity ..

 alan now feeling her pussy tensing with pleasure decided it was time ...

 he first stroked her quivering pussy with his fingers before thrusting them deeply inside the wet tight hole...

 mellissa let out a small yelp as the pleasure doubled....

 alans fingers while roughly pushed inside her were already expertly finding there way to her gspot.. pushing and pressing it hard and fast...

 alans sucking became more harsh and his tongue flicked over her swollen clit inside his mouth...

 the surge was now a torrent...... a flood of electricity...

 she felt the fist spark of an orgasm as alan pressed deeply on her gspot..

 then another... more and more sparks...building and building...rushing up through her body...

 mellissa screamed as her whole body shook with an orgasm she couldn’t control forcing her to squirm with the un believable pleasure....

 calming down she saw the people in the lecture hall stareing at her...

 her body still twitching she looked down to alan .. who was already looking up with a grin....

 "well I guess were off to a good start"

 8.

 Mellisas heart raced her eyes darted from person to person .. muffled " did you hear that?" coming from the people outside..

 alan stood and pulled mellisas hands behind her back forcing her to keep looking out of the 2 way mirror...there were a good 6 or 7 people now trying to peer into the booth..

 alan pulled her arms back a little more pushing her chest out and letting her shirt slide way exposeing her breasts again..

 "hmm pleeasee sir pleeasee they can see "

 mellissa wispered desperately..

 "maybe they can.. "

 alan teased

 suddenly the door handle rattled... mellissas heart took a nose dive...

 the handle paused as both alan and mellissa herd raised voices outside..

 alan shuffled mellissa over to the 2 way mirror glass door...

 "alan no .. no dont...please..PPLEAASSE"

 mellissas voice was a little louder and more desperate...

 alan simply shhhed her and shuffled mellissa forward closer to the door...

 mellissa could now see the young man holding the handle of the door.. she knew him he lived in her dorm..

 mellissas breath was shallow again she was terrified ...

 alan felt mellissas chest heave up and down .. he smiled...so much it hurt ...

 he pushed her slowly into the door.. her head tilted to the side her breasts began to press against the glass

 mellissa saw her breath steam part of the glass as she looked in terror right into the eyes of her dorm mate... know her most private parts were pressed not 2 inches away from him..

 just as she opened her mouth to speak...she felt alans hand slide down her back..over her now naked bum...and between her legs...

 mellissa couldn’t help but let out a small moan as her already sensitive pussy was penetrated once again...

 her dorm mate whipped round his eyes fixed on hers...

 "im sure I herd something sir"

 he shouted as mellissas eyes began to blur with the fresh waves of pleasure pulseing through her body...

 "leave it we will start our lecture anyway"

 another voice shouted...

 mellissa shivered as a spark ran through her body.... she was amazed how quickly she had got so excited again...

 mellissas dorm mate left the door and went to sit down..

 the hand slid out from between her legs and she felt her arms pulled backwards.. she stumbled back legs still shaking..

she was looking down through her breasts down at her legs and pussy... and with 1 last stumble she gasped...and between her legs a large shape came into view...

 9.

 In the dim light of the booth alans cock still glinted from its wetness ... mellissa felt like a magpie spying shiny things ... she liked.

 "im only going to fuck you if you can drip on my cock slut"

 mellissa felt a tenseing of her pussy when alan said slut... she shouldnt like being called it but ..she was and she was starting to like it.

 "i.. i dont know if i can sir"

 "try"

 mellissa edged back a little more until she was right over alans now visibly thumping cock, she willed her pussy to drip and tensed as hard as she could...

 it felt like an age she was desperate for him and she just wasn't wet enough ... then through her legs she saw alans strong hands clasp around the base of his cock and slowly stroke all the way to the tip then sliding back down to the base.. 

 mellissa let out another whimper as seeing this just made her want it so much more , she felt her pussy twitch and with that ...the tiniest drop of her juices dropped from her and almost in slow motion splashed on alans cock.. even before mellissa had thought to ask alan grabbed her hips and pulled her down pausing to rub his tip into the perfect place before plunging deep inside her as he pulled mellissa down... further and further it felt like it went on forever and her insides were singing with pleasure.

 when his throbbing cock reached its limit alan gave out a low grunt and before mellissa knew what was happening he had pulled out and then slammed himself inside her in one fluid animal motion , mellissa felt her legs turn to jelly and shake uncontrollably but it seemed alan had prepared for this as he now held her up with his rough hands griped around her waist using her to fuck his cock like a rag doll.

she felt like a ball of pure pleasure , she was using all her effort to stay upright as her body shook and tensed with every thrust , she was bouncing up and down so fast now that her breasts now freely loose from her top flailed around giving her a most glorious feeling of abandon.

mellissa could feel every last inch of alans cock as it savaged her engorged sensitive pussy she felt herself tense around his cock which just made the feeling even more intense , she couldn't stop herself anymore and she fell back against alans chest , she felt every muscle and every movement he made even more, she looked back and their eyes locked... and he opened his mouth to speak...

[protectorofthefae]

“Hm, I believe it’s the hair that reminds me of him..”

[He exhales]

“I apologize if that comment made you uncomfortable in any way.”

A portal opens up as a familiar yet foreign cookie peaks from the other side

"Heeeelllllloooooooooooo?"

@sage-0ftruth

“Hello? Who might you be?”

[The faerie asked curiously]

[reggae-vibes-com]

Various - Fresh Souls In Reggae

FRESH SOULS IN REGGAE | #Review | A 9-track digital-only album of the relicked classic riddim from the 1960s, "The Lecture". #freshsoulsinreggae #miltonblake #thelecture #lionandlionessproductions #reggae #outnow #playingnow #jamaica #newalbum #reggaemusic Read the full article

[yuckitup-jwd]

Education Jokes

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want mustard with that?"

What Year are You? When I first started college, the Dean came in and said "Good Morning" to all of us. When we echoed back to him, he responded "Ah, you're Freshmen." He explained. "When you walk in and say good morning, and they say good morning back, it's Freshmen. When they put their newspapers down and open their books, it's Sophomores. When they look up so they can see the instructor over the tops of the newspapers, it's juniors. When they put their feet up on the desks and keep reading, it's seniors." "When you walk in and say good morning, and they write it down, it's graduate students."

The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, "What did youlearn today?" The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."

On a bright spring morning, four high school seniors decided to skip all their morning classes. They arrived at school after lunch and told the teacher a very longwinded story about the flat tire the car had gotten and all the problems they'd encountered in getting it fixed. To their immense relief, the teacher did not seem too concerned with the story. She just smiled and said, "I'd like you to make up a test you missed this morning. Take seats apart from each other and get out your pens." When the boys were ready, the teacher said, "Each of you answer the following question: Which tire was flat?"

A recently seen bumper sticker on the San Diego Freeway: Hire college students, while they still know everything.

The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home. "The only consolation I can find in these awful grades," lamented the father,"is that I know he never cheated during his exams."

From The Seattle Times, Saturday, Dec 17th, 1988: The University of Wisconsin presented nearly 4,000 diplomas to graduates in May,but it took six months for someone to notice that the name of the state wasmisspelled 'Wisconson'.

The Professor enters the classroom, looks around, and bids his charges a hearty"Good Morning!" The freshmen respond with, "Good morning, Professor!" Thesophomores mutter, "Morning!" The juniors grunt. And the seniors simply writedown the Professor's greeting into their notes.

Reminds me of the one where the professor is droning away in the huge lecturehall when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The professorshouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!" The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"

Two young men who had just graduated from Harvard were all excited andtalking effusively as they got into a taxi in downtown Boston. After hearingthem for a couple of minutes the cab driver asked, "You men Harvard graduates?" "Yes Sir! Class of '94!" they answered proudly. The cab driver extended his hand back to shake their hand, saying, "Class of'58."

A true story; happened right here, not apocryphal. In my college dorm, we play 'Assassin,' like lots of students. Unlike mostpeople though, we use Silly String(tm) instead of water pistols, so that if youhit your target there's never an argument about whether you really hit thembecause, well, they're covered with Silly String(tm). But for those two weeks, you carry your Silly String(tm) everywhere, eveninto classrooms where you're automatically safe. So there I was in thisPsychology class with my friend, and we were kind of holding our Silly String atthe ready while the professor lectured. The class was Psychology Of Group Behavior and the professor was describingour next assignment, which concerned group norms. (Group norms are the unspokenrules of a group, i.e. you don't grab someone else's dining-hall tray and starteating off it). She was telling us the project, which is to violate a groupnorm blatantly and intentionally and then write a little two-page paper aboutit. And my crazy friend gets up, walks down the aisle, and gets up on the stagewith the professor, and proceeds to cover her in Silly String(tm). Needless tosay everyone figured out what was going on, and the applause brought down thehouse. He only got a B-plus on the paper, though. Go figure.

Professor: I'm dismissing you ten minutes earlier today. Please get out quietlynot to wake up the other classes.

This maybe something of a 'college legend', but I heard it as true: A student taking a philosophy class had a single question on his final: "Whatis courage?" The student wrote: "This", signed it, and turned it in. I never knew what happened to the student, but I hope he got an A.

While visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board Of Educationbecame provoked at the noise the unruly students were making in the next room. Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to bedoing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him inthe corner. A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded,"Please, sir, may we have our teacher back?"

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said thesarcastic lecturer. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired thelecturer with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standingup there all by yourself."

A certain professor arrived late for a lecture to find a most uncomplimentarydrawing of himself on the blackboard. Fuming, he asked the class joker in thefront row, "Who, pray, was responsible for this atrocity?" The joker won tremendous prestige with his reply, "I really don't know, but Istrongly suspect its parents."

Student: What's your opinion on the paper I submitted last week? Professor: It's absolute drivel. Student: I know, but let's hear it anyway.

A professor was grading the essay finals he had just given his class andopened the exam book of a failing student to reveal blank pages and a $100 bill.The only thing written in the book was "$100 = 100% - I get an A." A month later, the student approached the professor. "I don't understand,"he said. "I failed the course. Didn't you read my final?" The professor handed the student the exam book. The student opened it toreveal $50 and the phrase "$50 = 50% - You fail!"

One day, a very attractive undergraduate visited the professor's office. This undergraduate pulled the chair closer to the professor, smiled at him shyly, bumped his knee "accidentally", etc. Finally, the undergraduate said, "Professor, I really need to pass your course. It is extremely important to me. It is so important that I'll do anything you suggest." The professor, somewhat taken aback by this attention, replied, "Anything?" To which the undergradute cooed, "Yes, anything you say." After some brief reflection, the professor asked, "What are you doing tomorrow afternoon at 3:30?" The student lied, "Oh, nothing at all, sir. I can be free then." The professor then advised, "Excellent! Professor Palmer is holding a help session for his students. Why don't you attend that."

Teacher: Billy, name two pronouns. Billy: Who, me? Teacher: Very good!

An economics professor at school had a strict policy that the hourly examinations were to be completed at the bell and anyone who kept writing on their exam after the bell would take a zero on the exam. Well, one guy kept writing on his exam for a while after the bell and then confidently strode up to turn it in. The professor looked at him and said, "Don't bother to hand that paper in... you get a zero for continuing after the bell." The guy looked at him and said, "Professor, do you know who I am!!" The professor replied, "No, and I don't care if your dad is president of the United States...you get a zero on this exam" The guy, with a enraged look on his face, shouted, "You mean you have no idea who I am???" The professor responded, "No, I've no idea who you think you are." With that, the guy said "Good!", plunged his exam into the middle of the stack of other students exams, and did a hasty retreat from the examination room!

[wombatmd]

Ok but this is exactly my face while I attend thelecture today, trying to pay attention to the professor (I have no idea what he is yapping about) after I pulled out an all-nighter at school (tortured by the art school for painting the fuckass assignment) NEVER get into art school guys unless you want to die earlier😔

His wide opened blue eyes kinda scare the shit out of me tbh😭 Chase jumpscare

[shaunjudahyo]

Reflecting on the last year of The Artist Shaun Judah... #ShaunJudah #SlangTongueDialect #BoomBapBabies #RoarShacksInk #Standing8 #Creator #Artist #Emcee #Poet #Art #IAmArt #ICreateArt #IAmCreation #AlwaysInspire #MindSpray #MSNC #Louisville #SanFransisco #Birmingham #HipHopOrElse #EmceeCulture #Emceeing #Poeting #SpokenWord #AlysStephensCenter #TeachingArtist #ArtPlay #UAB #TheLectures #PrimaVoxAudait #BlackBoyJoy #iMatter #MasterStudent #MasterTeacher (at The Haven Sound Shop)

[assignmentsolutions4me]

CASE STUDY ANALYSIS REPORT | MANAGEMENT

Assessment 2 Authentic tasks - Case study analysis report

Type of Collaboration Individual assessment

Marking Criteria Correct identification, use and interpretation of statistical techniques.

Appropriate interpretation of computer output.

Overall, you are required to demonstrate the following knowledge and skills in this assessment:

 Demonstrate the use of visualising data in presentation of real world data

 Demonstrate the use of statistical concepts/techniques in business data

 Demonstrate how to conduct various hypothesis tests and regression analysis using computer software such as Excel/KaddStat

 Demonstrate the use of computer software to get necessary statistical output

 Demonstrate the skills of preparation of a managerial report

Style and Format Business Report.

Students are provided with a data set and a set of related questions they will need to answer by relying on the knowledge of statistical techniques and software acquired in class. In order to answer these questions students will need to prepare a business report, which will be marked by focusing both on the presentation and the rest (statistical analysis, output and interpretation). Specifically, the report will need to include the following sections: executive summary, table of contents, business problem, statistical problem, analysis, conclusion, implications. More detailed information will be provided in class.

Assessment Submission Handover the hard copy of the assignment to your lecturer during thelecture time. You should submit your assignment to Turnitin site in the Moodle and get a copy of Turnitin report. This report should attached to your hard copy of your assignment.

Detailed Information Report Luxury Car Buyers

Case Study: Luxury Car Buyers @Nelson Perera 2012

In order to find who is buying different types of luxury cars Automobile Association conducted a survey of luxury car buyers. In this case study, data is collected for three types of luxury cars; BMW, Lexus and Mercedes. The ages, household incomes and years of education for each type of luxury car were collected in the survey. The data set is organised as follows:

Column 1: Type of car, 1 for BMW, 2 for Lexus and 3 for Mercedes.

Column 2: Age of the customer

Column 3: Household Income in Dollars

Column 4: Years of Education

Data set is loaded on eLearning site under assignment data.

Tasks

Visually present data for the ages of buyers of the three different luxury cars. Calculate the descriptive statistics for the ages of buyers of the three different luxury cars. Comment on the location, shape and variability of the age distributions of buyers.

Visually present data for the household income of the buyers of three different luxury cars. Calculate the descriptive statistics for the household incomes of buyers of the three different luxury cars. Comment on the location, shape and variability of the household income distributions of buyers.

Visually present data for the years of education of buyers of the three different luxury cars. Calculate the descriptive statistics for the years of education of buyers of the three different luxury cars. Comment on the location, shape and variability of those distributions.

Some car dealers believe that the type of luxury car the people purchase do not depend on their ages, household incomes or years of education. Using the data collected test the belief that there is no significant difference of the average ages of the buyers of three different luxury cars.

Test the belief that that there is no significant difference in mean household incomes of the three different luxury cars.

Test the belief that that there is no significant difference in average years of education of the three different luxury cars.

Some other car dealers claim that older people with higher household income and more years of education prefer Mercedes to BMW or Lexus. Use the given data set to determine whether this claim justified?

Provide a thorough discussion of the implications of your findings.

More information on this assessment will be provided during the session

time including the presentation of the assignment and submission to

Turnitin. Please note that you should submit the assignment according to

the format given in the Moodle site.

Note

Use 5% level of significance in your analyses for all questions of

hypothesis testing.

EXCEL outputs should be incorporated into your report.

[fidelityinthemelody]

If she doesn't really love you, then it's over. And if she does love you, then love will win out.

The Last Lecture, by Randy Pausch and Jeffrey Zaslow

[reggae-vibes-com]

The Lecture Riddim

CLASSIC RIDDIM | THE LECTURE | Read the story behind this popular backdrop, that got versioned by nuff nuff artists. #thelecture #riddim #jojobennett #studioone #soulagents #harrymudie classicreggae #riddimwise #jamaica #handletheride #ednangle Read the full article

[silentsalty]

“..oh I cannot wait to hear this.”

((Im just bored so uhh *yeet the jester turned scholar towards you))

A familiar yet foreign cookie walks upon the land. He darts left to right, trying to find a way back

"Oh Witches, I'm lost..........again"

@sage-0ftruth

Silent salt cookie points their sword at the cookie, and assumes a defensive stance

[protectorofthefae]

“Kind of like.. Shadow Milk Cookie..”

[He hesitates for a moment]

A portal opens up as a familiar yet foreign cookie peaks from the other side

"Heeeelllllloooooooooooo?"

@sage-0ftruth

“Hello? Who might you be?”

[The faerie asked curiously]

[silentsalty]

“She left me.. months ago.”

((Im just bored so uhh *yeet the jester turned scholar towards you))

A familiar yet foreign cookie walks upon the land. He darts left to right, trying to find a way back

"Oh Witches, I'm lost..........again"

@sage-0ftruth

Silent salt cookie points their sword at the cookie, and assumes a defensive stance

[silentsalty]

“How dare you imply that I have any remaining feelings for the cookie who ripped out my heart and stomped on it like common rubbish.”

((Im just bored so uhh *yeet the jester turned scholar towards you))

A familiar yet foreign cookie walks upon the land. He darts left to right, trying to find a way back

"Oh Witches, I'm lost..........again"

@sage-0ftruth

Silent salt cookie points their sword at the cookie, and assumes a defensive stance

[silentsalty]

Silent salt cookie slaps shadow milk cookie

“How dare you…”

((Im just bored so uhh *yeet the jester turned scholar towards you))

A familiar yet foreign cookie walks upon the land. He darts left to right, trying to find a way back

"Oh Witches, I'm lost..........again"

@sage-0ftruth

Silent salt cookie points their sword at the cookie, and assumes a defensive stance