#then I'll be on board. Because the immorality is in the theft

[rcsewcrld]

marauders x y/n incorrect quotes

making these funny is my forte

feat. james, sirius, remus, barty (jr), reggie, lily, marlene

—

y/n: You know, remus gives sirius flowers everyday, I wish you'd do that too.  james: Okay.  *Later*  james: *gives sirius flowers*  sirius: ???  james: I don't know, I'm confused as well.

y/n, pointing to james and remus: Distract them! I'll be right back! *leaves*  sirius: Okay!  *five minutes later*  y/n: *returns and sees james and remus unconscious on the ground* What did you do? I said distract them, not knock them out!  sirius: There's just no pleasing you sometimes.

remus: Why do you look like that?  y/n, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?  remus: Like you’re dead.  y/n: It’s because I’m dying. Leave me here to perish.  sirius: y/n accidentally called james “babe” in front of everyone today.  y/n: *sobs into the floor*

remus: Time sensitive question how flirt boy.  y/n: Throw rocks at he.  james: Hot Dogs.  sirius: Kill him.  remus: Thanks guys.

james: Why is y/n crying on the floor?  remus: She took one of those 'what person are you?' quizzes.  james: And?  remus: She got sirius.

y/n: This food is too hot... I cant eat it.  near full moon!remus: You’re very hot, and I still eat you.  Everyone at the table: *silence*  james: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!  sirius: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

remus: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess.  y/n: What the fuck kind of Subway are you going to?  james: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit.  sirius: Guys.

remus: What do you three have to say for yourself?  y/n: sirius: james: Oops?

remus: james... How do I begin to explain james?  y/n: james is flawless.  sirius: I hear his hair's insured for $10,000.  barty: I hear he does car commercials... in Japan.  regulus: One time he punched me in the face... it was awesome.

remus: Croissants: dropped  james: Road: works ahead  y/n: BBQ sauce: on my titties  sirius: Shavacado: fre  barty: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead  regulus:  regulus, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

'Can I copy the homework?'  remus: I can help you with it!  james: Yeah, sure.  y/n: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.  sirius: lol nope.  barty: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!  regulus: *Read 5:55pm*

remus: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?  james: >:O language  y/n: Yeah watch your fucking language  sirius: OKAY WHO TAUGHT Y/N THE FUCK WORD?  barty: 'The fuck word'.  regulus: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time  y/n: Oh my god he censored it  barty: Say fuck, regulus.  y/n: Do it, regulus. Say fuck.

remus: If you got arrested what would be the charges? james: Theft. y/n: Disturbing the peace. sirius: Aggravated assault. regulus: Arson. barty: All of the above.In that order, probably.

y/n: Why are sirius and james sitting with their backs to each other? remus: They had a fight. y/n: Then why are they holding hands? remus: They get sad when they fight.

remus: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos. y/n: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard. sirius: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos? james: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

y/n: Is stabbing someone immoral? sirius: Not if they consent to it. james: Depends who you’re stabbing. remus: YES?!?

sirius: You lying, cheating, piece of shit! y/n: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD sirius: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING REMUS WITH ME james, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. sirius: Shit. remus: Wait, three? Cop: Yeah? y/n: OH MY GOD JAMES FELL OFF!!!

remus, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.  sirius: Hey.  james: Hi.  y/n: Hello.  lily: Hey!  remus: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!  marlene: We were out of Doritos.

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*  remus: Thanks fam!  sirius: oh no  james: *cries* I love you too  marlene: Sounds fake but okay  y/n: *A flustered mess*  lily: can i get a refund

y/n: I think we're missing something.  james: Teamwork?  sirius : Cohesion?  remus: A general sense of what we’re doing?

james: *Screams* sirius: *Screams louder to establish dominance* remus : Should we do something? y/n: No, I want to see who wins.

y/n: james, I'm sad. james: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay. sirius : remus, I'm sad. remus, nodding: mood.