#then gonna line the whole thing + add stars to the underside

[genderwizard]

wizard hat cowboy brim .. becoming

[writethelifeyouwant]

Nothing On But The Radio

Pairing: Jared x Jensen  Rating: 18+ Tags: SAXX, clothing kink, dirty talk, degradation, blowjob, anal fingering, object insertion (DO NOT try this at home - not safe), anal sex Word Count: 2.7k  Created for: @spnkinkbingo - SAXX | @anyfandomgoesbingo - Dirty Talk Prompt: @downanddirtydean 's 500 follower celebration challenge: “The internet is more than just naked people. You do know that?” - Congrats on the milestone babe! 

“The internet is more than just naked people. You do know that – right?”

Jared jumps in his chair as Jensen comes up behind him on set. He had been scrolling through the SAXX website to stock up on a few necessities, which isn’t necessarily embarrassing, but still not something you want people looking over your shoulder while you’re doing. “They’re not naked, Jensen,” Jared scoffs, going back to adding more pieces to his cart. “And stop stealing my lines,” he adds as an afterthought when he realises that Jensen was quoting Sam to him.

“Okay, mostly naked,” Jensen laughs and leans over the back of Jared’s chair, their heads almost touching, but not quite.

“Dude, do you mind?” Jared chuckles and tries to put some space between him and his co-star.

“Yeah, I mind. Lemme see,” Jensen grabs for the phone and starts scrolling through Jared’s cart. “I want to pick something out.”

“Why? So you can steal them for yourself?” Jared grins.

“No, so I can tear them in half before I fuck you in them,” Jensen whisper-growls into Jared’s ear so no one else can hear him. Jared goes bright red, checking no one is near enough to overhear them. “What, you embarrassed baby boy? Don’t want everyone around here knowing a big, strong guy like you lets himself get fucked in the ass every night?” Jared is pretty sure he’s stopped breathing. “Don’t want them to know what a little whore you turn into the second I get you alone and on your knees?”

“Jesus, Jen, fuck,” Jared gulps and steadies himself, trying to get a handle on the erection that is starting to push a little too insistently against his zip. “Shove the dirty talk, will ya? We’ve got a whole other scene to film before they let us outta here.”

“So is that a yes to buying whatever I pick out?” Jensen smirks.

“Yes, fine,” Jared concedes and sinks back in his folding chair. “Just nothing pink, yeah?”

“Oh, I am one hundred percent buying you the pink ones now,” Jensen grins and Jared drops his head into his hands. Why is his boyfriend such a doofus?

Their little exchange is all but forgotten until Jared drops by his trailer and sees Jensen waiting on the steps for him, brown cardboard box in hand.

“Terri dropped off a package for you,” Jensen waves the box around in case it hadn’t been obvious to Jared what he meant. “I told her I’d be sure to give it to you,” he grins. Jared’s heart skips, knowing exactly what is in that box. Well – not exactly what is in the box. He knows everything he added to his cart before Jensen got hold of his phone, but Jen hit ‘purchase’ before he passed it back, and deleted the receipt, so there was no way for Jared to figure out what Jensen had ordered.

“Why do I feel like there’s a decent chance you’ve hidden a bomb in here,” Jared asks as he gingerly takes the package from Jensen and pushes into his trailer.

“Because you’re weird,” Jen laughs, staying on the pavement. “They need me for blocking checks but we’re done in time for dinner if you’re free?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Jared nods.

“And, Jar–” Jared turns back around at Jensen’s call. “I count on seeing you in those tonight.”

“Which ones?” Jared calls back, a feeble attempt at a joke.

“Oh, you’ll know which ones,” Jensen laughs, and Jared can feel the hunger in it. He gives Jared a perfunctory salute and makes his way back to the soundstage, leaving Jared with his new package.

As soon as the trailer door is shut, Jared tears into the box. The relief he feels upon not seeing any pink is immediate, but it’s closely followed by suspicion about what Jensen actually did buy him. He quickly skims through the items and finds the culprit – a pair of black briefs that are really testing the limit of the definition of ‘briefs’. Jared is positive that these will barely cover any part of his body, and when he tries them on a few minutes later, his suspicions are confirmed. He looks like a hooker in a g-string. Almost certain that he is going to regret this later, Jared pulls his jeans back on over the new underwear and gets redressed.

When Jared and Jensen stumble back into their shared apartment later that night, very much worse for wear courtesy of the new whiskey bar downtown that Misha recommended to them, Jared had mostly forgotten that he’s wearing ridiculously skimpy underwear. Jensen, on the other hand, hasn’t been able to get the image of Jared in the tight black briefs he’d bought him out of his head – and now he wants to see if the real thing measures up to his imagination.

“Right, J-rod,” Jensen claps once to get Jared’s attention and points to their bedroom, “bedroom, strip, now.”

“Romantic Jay,” Jared grins dopily but does as he’s told.

“Trust me, ain’t nothing romantic about what I’m planning on doing to that ass of yours,” Jensen laughs and follows Jared, catching the recently-shed flannel Jared flings down the hallway at him.

“Bettin’ on it,” Jared smiles, stripping out of his t-shirt in the doorway to their room and dropping it to his feet. Jensen can see the waistband of Jared’s underwear peeking above his jeans, the little ‘SAXX’ right in the centre of the deliciously cut vee of Jared’s hips. Jensen wants nothing more than to run his tongue along the line straight to Jared’s cock – and then he realises there’s nothing stopping him, so he drops to his knees in front of his boyfriend and does just that. He drags his tongue across Jared’s skin, smiling when he hears his intake of breath, and moves lower and lower until he reaches the ‘SAXX’ label and sucks it into his mouth. Jared jumps when Jensen lets it go and the elastic snaps back against his stomach. “Jerk,” he whines.

“Shuddup ‘Sam’,” the intonation is heavy in Jensen’s words and he drops into his ‘Dean’ voice, grinning as he undoes the button and zip on Jared’s jeans, tugging them down harshly and leaving him bare except for the skimpy underwear. “Unless you want me to make you my bitch tonight?” Jensen uses his Dean voice again as he leans into mouth against the erection straining in Jared’s briefs, the black cotton bulging so much Jensen’s surprised Jared actually fit himself inside them in the first place – now he was hard they barely cover anything.

Jared moans at the feeling of Jensen’s mouth against his cock. Something about getting sucked off through fabric always hits a bit differently than just having someone’s mouth on your dick, and right now, with Jensen suckling intently on the tip of his dick through his briefs, this is hitting exactly the right spot for Jared. “Fuck,” he whimpers, threading his fingers through Jensen’s hair, “Jen, you know if you want me to be your bitch, all ya gotta do is ask,” Jared pants, looking down to meet Jensen’s eyes, which are smirking up at him from where he still has his lips wrapped around Jared’s dick.

Jensen pulls off of Jared with a grin and gets to his feet. “Yeah I know, baby boy,” he coos and pulls Jared in for a heated kiss, tongue pushing its way between Jared’s lips, hot and wet. “Now, be a good little bitch and go get yourself ready for me, yeah?” Jensen smirks as he watches Jared nod and trip over his own feet in an effort to get to the bed quickly. He gets the lube out from the nightstand and goes to take off his underwear but Jensen hurries over to stop him. “Nuh uh, sweetheart. Keep those on for me,” Jensen orders with his hand clenched around Jared’s wrist.

“Sure,” Jared gulps, wide eyed, and moves his now slick fingers behind him and sneaks his hand beneath the waistband of his briefs to find his entrance. Jensen watches Jared hungrily as he fingers himself open, undressing all the while; plaid, then t-shirt, then jeans, then boxers – all one by one dropping to the floor. Jared moans when Jensen starts to stroke his own cock, admiring the drop of precum that’s already spilling over the dark pink tip. “C-can I?” Jared stutters, eyes locked on Jensen’s fingers moving slowly up and down himself.

“Yeah, c’mere baby,” Jensen kneels on the bed and shuffles closer so Jared can reach him with his mouth. The second he’s near enough, Jared sucks Jensen between his lips, running his tongue along the underside all the way to the hilt, until his nose is pressed snuggly against Jensen’s hip. “Fuck, forgot how much of a cockslut you are when you’re drunk,” Jensen chuckles deeply, combing Jared’s hair back off his forehead so he can watch him start to move up and down on his dick. “That’s it baby. Shit, your mouth feels so good,” he groans, closing his eyes and bucking his hips into Jared’s eager throat. “Such a good little slut letting me fuck your mouth while you finger that ass open for me. Got you wrapped around my little finger don’t I, bitch?” Jared moans around the cock in his mouth but Jensen doesn’t let up enough for him to get a proper answer out. “Yeah, thought so,” he scoffs.

Jared hums and moans around Jensen’s cock as he continues to finger himself. He’s definitely stretched and slick enough now, but he loves the feeling of Jensen using him like this, so he’s not gonna stop until Jensen tells him that’s what he wants him to do. After a few more minutes of Jensen fucking his throat, Jared feels him start to tense and jerk, and he knows Jen is close.

“Stop, stop, fuck baby,” Jensen groans, pulling Jared off his cock by his hair, and drawing a whine from the younger man. “Don’t want me to cum before I get the chance to fuck that ass, do you?” Jared shakes his head weakly, still pushing his fingers lazily in and out of his hole. He whimpers when he pulls his fingers out, and Jensen smirks down at him as he tries to once again take off the pair of SAXX. Jensen catches Jared’s wrists and holds them behind his back, pushing him onto his stomach. “I didn’t say you could take those off,” he growls against Jared’s ear, nipping at the skin and pulling another whimper out of him. Jensen sits up, keeping Jared’s wrists pinned in one of his hands while he reaches for the lube with the other to slick up his cock. “Your ass looks so good in these baby, look like such a little tease.” He lands a harsh slap against Jared’s backside, making Jared jump and cry out. “Imagine if all those fans saw more than just the label peeking out over your jeans, saw what a big man whore you look like with nothing but these on.”

“Jen, please,” Jared groans, humping against the bed to try to get some kind of friction or relief. “You want me to beg, I’ll beg, please for the love of God, put your cock inside me.” Jensen just laughs and spanks Jared again, even harder this time. “C’mon Jen, please, need you,” Jared pants, looking over his shoulder to catch Jensen’s eye. The desperation on his face is clear as he moans – “Need something inside me, please Jay.”

“You need something inside you baby boy?” Jensen sympathises, relinquishing his grip on Jared’s wrists, but the look of mischief in Jensen’s eyes makes Jared nervous.

“Yes, fuck, please,” Jared begs again.

“We can fix that,” Jensen smirks, reaching forward to grip just under the waistband of Jared’s briefs and wrenching the seam apart, the underwear ripping easily under Jensen’s violent influence. Pieces of the briefs come away in Jensen’s hand and he grins, getting an idea. Eyeing the shine of Jared’s hole, Jensen gathers some of the lube leaking out and smears it over the cotton, which is already damp with lube and Jared’s precum where his cock had been leaking. Bunching up the sopping cloth, Jensen pushes a finger into Jared to check he was still adequately open, then he shoves the torn material inside.

Jared chokes on his moans in surprise at what he’s feeling. The ball of cotton is pressing just against his prostate and it’s a very weird sensation but he can’t deny it feels good. “Fuck Jen,” he groans, pushing off his stomach and onto his hands and knees. Jensen lets out his own groan when he sees Jared’s hole winking up at him, showing him glimpses of the black cotton he’d just shoved inside him. He ruts his cock along the seam of Jared’s ass, catching the tip on the edge of his hole and dragging groans from both men. Jensen can’t hold himself back anymore, and he finally pushes himself into Jared, moving agonisingly slowly to tease the younger man as much as possible.

“You dick,” Jared pants, dropping his head to rest against his arms and pushing his hips back into Jensen’s cock, forcing him the rest of the way inside.

“Someone’s eager,” Jensen tries to keep his tone light, but now that he’s inside Jared, who keeps clenching his ass around his cock in an effort to get him to do something, he’s lost the majority of his composure.

“Just fucking fuck me already,” Jared hisses, bucking his hips back again. Jensen is tempted to make Jared wait, and beg for it – tease him until he’s crying in desperation – but he knows even he won’t last that long. As he draws out and snaps his hips back in, the tip of his cock brushes against the cotton he’s shoved into Jared and the sensation is electrifying. The little bit of slick friction just on the tip of his cock every time he fucks into Jared is so fucking good, he can’t get enough, and his pace turns frantic quickly. “Fucking hell, fuck yes,” Jared moans beneath him, spurring him on even more. “You fuck me so fucking good baby, shit, don’t stop, don’t stop, don’–” Jared’s words trail off into unintelligible whimpers as Jensen pounds into him mercilessly.

“Yeah, fucking love how good you take it baby. Gonna cum on my cock like a good little whore? My good little bitch, huh?” Jensen grits out breathlessly, draping himself over Jared’s back and angling his hips so he knows he’s dragging his cock over Jared’s sweet spot with every push in.

“Fuck, please, please,” Jared whimpers, turning his face to Jensen’s and clumsily trying to press their lips together. “I– I’m.. fuck,” Jared keens and Jensen growls his approval against his ear.

“C’mon, cum for me baby boy, wanna feel you cum,” Jensen snarls and he feels Jared let go, his hole spasming around Jensen’s cock as he empties himself in long white ropes onto the bed beneath them. Feeling Jared lose control is all that Jensen needs to go over the edge himself. He finally lets himself cum, grunting as he slams his hips into Jared one last time and stills, the tip of his cock pressed against the ball of black cotton still nestled inside Jared, now covered in Jensen’s cum. That thought brings a satisfied smirk to Jensen’s lips.

When their breathing has settled, Jensen carefully pulls out of Jared and rolls off of him, collapsing on the bed. Jared drops on top of him, nestling into Jensen’s chest and giving him a small kiss.

“That was really hot Jen,” Jared smiles drunkenly – though whether he’s drunk on whiskey or his orgasm, Jensen can’t tell.

“Just like you, baby boy,” Jensen says softly, kissing the top of Jared’s head.

“But,” Jared says shiftily, glancing up at Jensen.

“But?” Jen prompts, defensively.

“How am I supposed to get this fucking underwear out of my ass?”

Tag List: @vulgar-library @tintentrinkerin @negans-lucille-tblr @fandomfic-galore @petitgateau911 @whoreforackles @schaefchenherde @kickingitwithkirk @little-diable @laxe-chester67 @kassyscarlett @delightfullykrispypeach @05supernatural20 @akshi8278 @deandreamernp @lyarr24 @lovealways-j @stoneyggirl @walkersbabygirl @austin-winchester67​ 

[smolbeandrabbles]

Hungover in a Hotel Room - John Daggett x Reader (The Dark Knight Rises)

Finale to: If I Didn’t Know Better & Nothing On But The Stars

GIF CREDIT: @ingmarbergmanz Honestly don’t know what I’d do without your Daggett GIFs...

Author’s Note: All ya’ll need is this; Hungover in a Hotel Room - Luke Bryan In advance, you’re welcome... @3134045126 @stcphstrange @mfolcore I hope this was worth the THREE week wait from Part.2 😉😉

Premise: You accept his AGM Party invitation... But Daggett wants to invite you into a lot more than that... This was never going to be a one night thing... Disclaimer: Daggett is not mine. The more I write him, the more I wish he was... This is made up of like... Secretary... Head Canon... Canon lines... Hotel Room signs... I mean, I couldn’t really have asked for any more ammo than I got! I hope it was all worth it!   Words: 7403 Warnings: sex / sub-dom tones / denial (of pretty much everything) / oral / #TheWorks

Look at you stirring in the shadows and sheets Last night on repeat... Hey, when you gonna come pick me up? You always say we're gonna burn it down If you want it baby, call me back Call me back, maybe we can hang out Then it was room 704, hang a sign on the door Gucci falling on the floor with the lights down low Dancing in the dark, body killing me Throwing off sparks Lay it back baby, anything goes Spent the whole night last night all messed up, making love Girl, I swear I've never felt this good Waking up hungover in a hotel room There's that smile driving me wild Call the front desk, late check out request No, better yet, book it for another night...   ---

You looked up to the event building with a smirk, wondering if Daggett had built this one too, your heels striking against the stone steps. He’d already ployed you with thinking the hotels were built by him, and his list of construction companies seemed endless as you scrolled through his account on your computer, so it wouldn’t surprise you in the least… Your dress, off shoulder, trailed behind you; you felt like you were appearing at an award ceremony. The invitation didn’t have a set time to arrive. You’d given it about an hour to get going before arriving. It meant making John Daggett wait. He had invited you because he’d so badly wanted to see you. You could only think of the best response being to make him wait for you. You handed your invite over and swept into the room. Wondering how many people you could count off from the echelons of Gotham society. It wasn’t a place you knew well, but you knew the people from his company that would visit you. It wasn’t too hard to find them either. And they greeted you warmly enough; you weren’t about to tell them that you’d been invited. OH No – You just happened to be in town! At the office! That’s right! Would you come down to Daggett Enterprises?! Hahahaha…. You laughed that one off. Walking around with your expensive glass of champagne you admired the architecture, and artwork that littered the building. That was when Daggett caught you up. The way he swept around you nonchalantly – you smirked at the way he got too close. “Do you get some kind of pleasure out of making me wait for you…?” You smirked again, into your glass, as you took a sip; “No. But I think you do…” He swept his eyes over you, impressed, and bit his lip “Do I get to take that dress off you tonight?” Your heart lurched but you held your nerve; “Depends. Do I get to take that suit off of you?” “Touché…” His eyes swept over the crowd to make sure you’d be alone for a little longer; “...So what do you think?" He meant you were supposed to be impressed with the party. But, you had other ideas. "I think your investment in Rykin Data was a mistake." That stopped the smirk on his face, he didn’t want to talk business. But you were at a party for his company so why not? "Oh. Do you? Why’s that?" "You've had it months. It cost you millions. You've nothing to show for it." "And how do you know?" "It's my job to know. I have to stare at those figures every day..." "So you're here to discredit all my investments? Tell me everything I'm doing is a bad idea?" "No. But that's my job…" John opened his mouth to say something clearly sarcastic, but was cut off; “Y/N!” He sighed, clearly unimpressed that someone else from his company had the nerve to come talk to you “…Hey! I didn’t know you were coming!” You turned, with a smile, “Caleb! Yeah-! I was in town… So…” You almost missed the way John rolled his eyes; yeah alright so he knew. That didn’t mean, surely, that he wanted everyone to know that he’d invited you? You kept talking, with Daggett getting more and more exasperated every single time Caleb decided he had something else to say. You decided to add fuel to the fire. “If you gentlemen will excuse me…” Daggett’s eyes widened like he couldn’t believe you would just walk away from him, but rounding Caleb and keeping your eyes locked with his you winked. You wanted him to wait for you. And you wanted him to hate every second.

 **

 You scanned the room for your company’s table. There were some people you recognised who you knew were Gotham based. They waved you over smiling and you approached; next was to find your name. However, someone caught you by the wrist before you could get there. "Ms. L/N!" You didn't recognise her "Oh! I'm sorry! I'm Mr. Daggett’s secretary. I believe we've conversed over email but never in person..." She had your colouration. You weren't sure how you felt about that. She gave a warm smile "Apologies, but, Mr. Daggett has requested you sit on our company table this evening." Oh HAD he now. You let her lead you over to the table, and watched the smile she gave him, and him to her. The way he touched her arm delicately as he thanked her.  Hmm... You payed close attention to how he spoke to her and looked at her. Was he trying to make you jealous?? Your place card was opposite his. Of course it was. Your company table was distinctly male, was he moving you because he was jealous... Or just so he could stare at you like this all night. You sat, surrounded by men, and a few women, (so it was definitely a lad thing; as all of them were also noticeably young males. Who had pretences to flirt with you on occasion this evening already. He’d clearly noticed.) that you sort of had come into contact with. Philip more than anyone. Daggett didn’t usually come to your office with an entourage. But that could just be because he mostly wanted to be alone with you...

 His stare was intense, and you couldn’t ever hold it for more than a few seconds at a time. His conversation was minimal unless someone asked him a direct question, then he’d always get you to look at him by asking what you thought. Except on Rykin data – he tactfully avoided you getting a word in edgeways on that subject - although more than a few people lorded praise on him for that purchase. And he soaked every drop of that up because anything to prove you wrong. Those people didn’t have data and facts like you did, though.

 You’d been drinking the champagne all night but it was only as Philip asked if you wanted your glass refilling that the label caught your eye; “Oh I—!!!” He had NOT!! It caused you to do nothing but nod, but upon studying it further as you stuttered through a ‘thank you’ you could feel the heat spread through your cheeks, and just about every spot on your body that he had previously drenched in it. Of course he was serving the champagne he’d poured all over you. You shivered and hoped you could blame the air conditioning. But your eyes couldn’t resist flicking to him. Although he wasn’t looking at you, that smirk let you know he knew you’d noticed. Shoot... Was that just to remind you? Or was it an unspoken promise of things to come??

  Dinner continued as normal, with the both of you stealing flirtatious glances like it was going out of fashion. It was gratuitous to say the least and you were surprised no one around the table had asked what was going on yet. Unless he’d asked them not to ask... unless they were too scared to ask??? Or they knew? How many of ‘you’ had there been in John Daggett’s life? That wasn’t a thought you liked to dwell on... Considering you still didn’t even know what you were.

 You felt your phone buzz in your purse and raised an eyebrow, who would be messaging you at this hour? What could be that important...? You pulled it out and checked discreetly; JDE - as in Enterprises, in case he ever popped up at work and you could pretend the CEO of the company account would obviously have your personal cell number for work reasons. ‘Good champagne. Huh?’ Your eyes flicked to his and he gave a wink. You shook your head and typed back ‘I wouldn’t know. I think I took a sip.’ ‘Wouldn’t matter. It tasted better on you.’ You knew you were going bright red then. What was he doing!?! Good Lord, dinner couldn’t end soon enough… You thought about leaving it at that but the typing bubble reappeared ‘The place cards are pretty good too.’ Huh??? You looked to him with a raised eyebrow, he was leaning on his hand with a smile, his eyes flicking to the place card and back to you. You hesitated, and then reached for it. Upon picking it up you realised it was heavier than the card it was printed on. Oh-!? You turned it upside down and smirked. That was clever. Tacked to the underside of your place card was none other than another hotel room key. The numbers that made your heart jump this time; 704. You bit your lip to suppress your smirk. Was this going to become a regular thing? You delicately untacked it, inconspicuously, and placed it and your cell back in your bag. But not before typing back ‘Oh. The place cards are the best part of tonight...’ You watched Daggett read the text and look back to you with a smile and then it was your turn to give him a seductive wink.

 **

 You waited patiently for the elevator. This was one of his buildings, right? You bit your lip as you heard his footsteps behind you: you didn't dare turn around... Your body had been in anticipation of this moment for far too long this evening.

John traced his fingertips up the back of your dress and you ached for him to be touching your skin instead. The elevator arrived, and suddenly he grabbed you, turning you around, you gasped as he slammed you into the back. "What the hell are you doing? Do you have any idea how you make me feel? Talking to all those other men? It's my account you're working on don't forget that… Then you have the nerve to embarrass me by telling me that I've wasted my money on Rykin Data??" Oh. So he was jealous and mad at you for nothing. "Well it wa-" you didn't get your sentence out before he crashed his lips roughly onto yours. It caused you to groan, but the kiss didn’t last nearly as long as you needed it to. He let you go, glaring at you; "Sorry I didn't catch that." "I'm sorry." He stepped backwards and set the lift so it would stop at one floor and one floor only. Then he rounded on you again, "Sorry? You think that's good enough?" He made your heart jump in your chest "I won't do it again." Daggett smiled, placing his hands back on you "That's a good girl... Now I want you to behave for the rest of the night do you understand?" His lips ghosted yours and you could barely resist the whine. You craved more than that and he knew it. "Yes." you were almost breathless "Yes, what?" He was staring at you hard again. Oh? What was this? Was he going for some kind of power play? "Yes, Sir." You gave him what he wanted anyway "Good girl." yeah right. You'd be damned if he thought you were going to call him that all evening. You didn't work for him. You weren't his secretary! ** He kept behind you all the way to room 704… Just close enough to send tension running through you, but far enough away that it made your body throb in agony. Your anticipation for the evening was barely sated by ONE kiss in an elevator. In fact, that entire interaction promised so much. You stopped outside the room and held the key card delicately between your fingers. He placed his hand over yours; close enough now for you to feel his breath on the back of your neck. Your skin tingled; the shake running your body wasn’t of fear… It wasn’t because you were nervous. It was everything that WASN’T that. The door flashed a tiny green light and you opened it, swallowing hard, because he was still so close… You stepped inside. As before, the room was set up with dimmed lights but every blind was open. The view of the Gotham skyline just as gorgeous as the view of your own had been. You gasped gently, and instinctively walked over to the window. You’d been to Gotham maybe once or twice before… But you’d never seen it like this. You almost forgot the reason you were here as your eyes flicked from building to building; how many of these had Daggett’s construction companies built? You’d read about every single one of them, but you’d never seen them. He got to see his work every single day. And from what he’d said, you were currently standing in another one. He snapped you from your string of thoughts, back so close you could see his reflexion next to yours in the glass; “Impressed?” You could only assume then, that they were nearly all his, “…I read about them so often. I don’t ever see them…” “…Is that a yes?” You smirked, rather than answering his question. Then bit your lip; "Why do you look at her like that? Does she like playing these games too? Or will she not and that's why you have me?” There was a moment of hesitation as it clicked in his mind that you were referring to his secretary. Daggett growled, pushing you up against the glass "Is that what this is to you? A game? Because it sounds more like you’re jealous..." Maybe he was right. Maybe. But you certainly weren’t about to say that “No. Of what?” He wanted back in control, and now."…What if I undressed you here... Where all of Gotham can see you?" You couldn't help but grin; "What, so you can see what it feels like to be jealous too?" That only made you gasp as he pushed you further against the window "Careful." With the way he has you pressed against the glass you can barely breathe, “Don’t test me darling.” His voice held the growl “You won’t come out of it well...” You couldn’t help but let out a breathless groan. And he chuckled so you knew he’d heard it. He released his grip on you enough to afford you breathing room, his hands travel upwards from your thighs, his fingertips gliding with enough pressure to leave your skin tingling under your dress... F***... you swallowed hard. This time he was in control. And you better not question it.

He ghosted his hands up your back until he reached the zip. He pulled it, almost sensually – letting his fingertips graze your skin as he worked it down. That was enough to leave you whining again. Daggett opened up your dress, studying your back, the curve of your spine... you had good posture and he liked that. Obedience... you listened to rules. Good, he’d be introducing you to a few of his own. His hands were gentle as he traced your shoulders, placing a chaste kiss against your temple as he slid your dress to the floor. John pulled you further away from the window and cleared his throat. “Blinds.”  Immediately the whole room was closed off from the world and the light that illuminated the room was the same as he’d used with you before.  You were right, he was jealous that anyone else would get to see you - else you’d put the idea in his head. Did it even matter if you had? You were glad you weren’t facing him as you smirked again.

 This time as he ran his hands up you he was rough, the pressure he placed on you harder as he grabbed you possessively. You gasped as Daggett’s hands ran lower than they should have, pulling you close enough to press himself up against you. You groaned again. Sh*t you wanted him. NOW! Why did you get the feeling you’d be waiting on that wish? “F***... Darling... Listen to yourself...” His voice was husky and it only served to turn you on even more. You were painfully aware of what you sounded like... he was extremely unvocal.

 He went back to kissing you, his teeth grazing your neck every so often in a way that let you know that eventually they would turn into the same bites you had previously been so receptive to.  One hand continued to wander under your underwear. And you pushed back into him with a sudden jolt. Oh god... oh god... John...!! You weren’t sure if he groaned because of that or because you were so ready for him and he knew it.  “Good girl...” he breathed against your skin, pulling at his tie “You’re my good girl...” You pushed your hips into his fingers causing him to chuckle “Now, now Darling don’t get greedy...” Sh*t! Could his voice GET any sexier?! You couldn’t help it, you were so damn close, you wanted this, you wanted his body on yours. You cried out again. You couldn’t help that it was his name all over your lips. “John...!! F***...!! JOHN...!!” Apparently that wasn’t good enough, you were almost seeing the same stars he’d seen all over your body when he removed his fingers harshly. Causing you to whimper again. Again?! He’d done this last time!!! You were frustrated and you clearly let him know it. Daggett held you strong in his other arm as he licked his fingers clean; “I told you before darling...” His body gave a soft shiver of delight that you could feel “... There is no fun in finishing you so soon...” He smirked, kissing your face gently again “Besides, you taste so f**king good...” So why couldn’t he finish you twice? Three times?! Come on John!!! Once is no fun!!

 This time he took your wrists in his hands. “Tell me if this is too tight, darling...” If what was too - OH!  Suddenly you felt his silk tie wrapping around your wrists.  So that was his game. He needed to be in control, and he needed to deny you everything you wanted. He pulled and knotted it; “Is that okay?” You pulled against the restraint. Tight enough so you couldn’t escape, but it wasn’t painful. “Yes...” He turned your face to his and kissed you again gently “Good girl. Now you’re going to do exactly as I say, do you understand.” You didn’t miss a beat “Yes sir.” He smirked, and bit his lip “Mmm... you’re a very good girl, aren’t you?” “...Yes...” He nodded in agreement and swept you off the floor, carrying you to the bed. He was strangely delicate as he lay you on the sheets. And his hands ran tenderly over your skin. That almost juxtaposed everything... You were clearly visibly confused. “Is that comfortable?” His question surprised you, even though his voice still held that authoritative tone. You wiggled gently around for a minute and relaxed; “Yes.” “Good. Because I want you to be comfortable...” Daggett tilted his head, hands still on you soothingly “... You’ve never done anything like this before, am I right?” You shook your head, he knew that. You thought he was asking to be polite. He nodded “Then, Darling, you are going to have to tell me if there is anything you don’t like. Okay? Please stop me... the last thing I want to do is hurt you...” You raised an eyebrow “Don’t we need like... a safe word?” He tipped his head; well he wasn’t aiming to go that far - but then you didn’t know what he was planning so the question was warranted. “Sure. We can have a safe word...” You couldn’t help your tiny smirk “Champagne.” He raised an eyebrow “Champ-” then snorted “Oh. Right-! Yeah... How’d you know I wasn’t about to do that again?” You were observant enough to know the only alcohol bottle in this room was whisky. Your eyes flicked to the table, he followed. “My, my... good and observant...” he turned back to you, leaning in to kiss you gently “I guess you deserve a reward for that my darling...” but he smirked, pulling back “Not yet. Though. Patience is a virtue after all.” Oh f**king come ON Daggett..!!! He stood again and crossed to the table... pouring himself a glass. He better not be thinking of pouring what appeared to be blue label all over you too...! He downed the glass and slid something else off the table, walking back to you. “Tell me. Tell me what it says.” Against the growl in his voice you weren’t really sure you wanted to disobey him, “I’m tied up.” The smirk on his face was lethal “Good girl.” He left you to put it on the door handle “And now the whole world knows it.” He waltzed back and you realised that you once again wouldn’t be taking that suit of his off... probably... He slid himself out of his suit jacket and threw it on the back of a chair. Okay, that was a better start than before... He ran a hand through his near dark hair and knelt up in front of you. His eyes locked on yours and you couldn’t look away. This was it. He was in complete control now, you had a safe word and his express permission to tell him if you didn’t like anything he did... Your breathing hitched slightly, what would happen if you disobeyed him? That thought was sure exciting but... You wanted this. You knew you wanted this. And if you didn’t do as he wanted you too... it was much more likely you wouldn’t get what you wanted.

 He leant back over you, pushing your legs apart slightly with his own, snapping your bra clasp and relieving you of it he travelled his hands down and slid your underwear down your legs. He growled gently; everything about your body was telling him how ready you were for him. You looked tense though, in anticipation he would guess, but that wasn’t what he wanted. “Darling... relax...” he ran his hands back to your inner thighs, making you wimpier, this wasn’t relaxing!! This time he slid his fingers into you with another satisfied hum and you were back on that high from a few minutes ago. It was only then when you realised why he’d tied your hands up, because your wrists hurt; you realised how much you were straining to break free. F***!!! NO!!! no—! John please—-!!! His smirk was back as he leant over your body, he picked up his pace; “...Mmm... Careful Darling... I wouldn’t want you hurting yourself...” his voice was seductive and it was killing you. He added his thumb, pressed up hard against your sweet spot and your body lurched into his, eyes wide. Oh Geez—! John!! He better actually finish what he started his time!! That only made him chuckle, but he called you a Good Girl again; making you feel like you must be doing something right. The intense heated pressure built again and this time your moan was breathless.  God you were close, so close... You closed your eyes and bit your bottom lip; you took a deep breath in… This was too much. Too much-! “Darling, don’t. Don’t hold back… God you’re so beautiful…” The way he growled it, the intense look in his eyes as your reopened yours – and the way his fingers pushed on you just that little bit harder was it. You groaned, arching your body back upwards into his, but he leaned just far enough away to deny you the contact you wanted as you fell into copious ecstasy.

He kissed your stomach gently, then travelled his kisses upwards to your lips.  With his body pressed up against yours like this you could feel his heart racing through his shirt. Ah-! So you were having an effect on him.

You pushed your hips upwards to grind against his; causing him to bite your lip and then growl, again. He pulled back, and didn’t look too pleased, and you knew you were smirking and shouldn’t have been. “No.” He straightened to kneeling again, “What did I say?” Again his voice compelled your answer “You told me to be a good girl.” He nodded “Exactly. And that wasn’t very good now, was it?” His eyes whispered promises that you could only imagine and sent another shiver up your spine. So he would make you pay for that.

Daggett ran his hands to his shirt buttons, and continued to watch your reaction as he slowly undid them, one by one. It felt like minutes between one and the next and the way he opened his shirt ever so slightly. It was teasing; and it made you whine again. That’s what he wanted, he wanted you to vocalise your feelings for him. Your wrists strained against his tie again; because he knew how desperately you wanted to rip this shirt from him. He chuckled again “Tell me what you want...” “…I….I want… I… Want…” “Go on, tell me…” “…I want you…” He smirked; “Want doesn’t get.” Well, screw him then! On that thought, you already kinda were…

 He slid his shirt down his arms and this time, because you weren’t really able to do much else, you allowed yourself to marvel at his muscle structure. His lines were all soft, toned just enough to make you think he might leisurely work out at weekends. Unless it was just all the great sex you assumed he was having... like this? How often did he do this? And with who else...? The thought made you jealous and want him even more. Something must have crossed your face because when he got to his belt he addressed you again “Whatever you’re thinking, stop it.” The buckle clinked as it hit the floor. “Darling, enjoy it... I want you to enjoy it... enjoy me...” Well you thought that was easier said than done considering! And even though he’d told you to stop, you still couldn’t help but wonder… And he hadn’t exactly answered you about his secretary…

He was undressed by the time you looked back to his face, and he tipped his head as he placed his hands either side of your waist; “…What?” You decided it was best to not answer that; “Nothing.” He narrowed his eyes slowly, and you knew he didn’t believe you… Leaning forward he kissed you gently “…Noone else matters. If it’s you that I want.” So, he was allowed to say want then. “And it IS you I want… right now.” He dragged your legs down the bed towards his; and you couldn’t help but gasp as he forced your hips to widen for him. This time when moved in you he was rougher. One movement that barely gave you enough time to adjust. And that was purposeful, because of the way you reacted, tipping your head back you moaned and your brain begged your hands to go something… ANYTHING… That knot was damn good by all accounts because at this point you were sure you wouldn’t know your own strength. Daggett watched your reaction more than just satisfied. Placing his hands on your thighs he encouraged you to cross your legs behind his so he could burry himself as deep inside you as possible. That only caused you to moan again. And he waited for you, for your breathing to regulate itself again, for you to accustom yourself to him again. Because you felt so good. Of course you did. He hadn’t doubted that. He had ached for this for months. And there was nothing like the real thing, he didn’t need anyone else, he needed you. You would be the only one who could satisfy him, but only if he could satisfy you. Your body was beyond all sane thought and feeling; it craved him. Every piece of him. And right now it yearned for Daggett to have his way with you however he wanted. No matter how it also wanted you to strain against your bindings, it wanted him to make you senseless. To be louder than you ever had been before. The anticipation of what he was about to do to you was enough to almost send you back over the edge. And you bit your lips together, but that didn’t stop the groan that rose from your chest. F***… And you knew it was loud. And you couldn’t help it and you didn’t CARE. He placed his hands either side of you again, and with his body this close to yours you had to look at him. “J-John…” He hadn’t even moved and you already felt breathless. He gave a shake of his head, “Remember what I said, Darling. There is no fun in finishing you too early…” There was that delightful little smirk again “So don’t you dare.”

**

 “That’s my good girl... my very good girl...Now let me do something for you...” Hadn’t he just?! He ghosted his lips over yours and this time trailed them back down your body, parting your legs even further than they already were. Oh- F*** - again?! John—!! He stopped just at your hips and waited. You could feel his breath against your skin and it tingled. Was he waiting for you to say ok?! Surely not. Or was he simply teasing you again? He wanted you to ask him to do it? You flicked your eyes back to him and his now dark blue eyes were staring back. Yes, he was. “...J-John... please...” your voice was still shaky from your last high. He smirked. Placing one last kiss against your inner thigh... You couldn’t help but become vocal again; F***!! You arched your back. Oh god—! Oh god-! Oh god-! It wasn’t like you hadn’t realised why he’d tied your wrists but... F***!!! You wanted to grab anything... sheets? His hair... Really dig your nails into him but no...! You couldn’t! At least not in a way that would be comfortable. “—John—!!!” You couldn’t help but groan his name. Eyes closed tight in bliss. It wasn’t like you’d never done this before; but this way?!? You were so hyper aware of everything you couldn’t do that you so desperately wanted to do, everything he did was suddenly more intense. And you were barely down let alone relaxed... Was his denial before on purpose? Because it made you so desperate for him to do it, that now he was affording you as much pleasure as possible… One after the other, your body was now so completely at his mercy - and you weren’t so sure you wanted him to be merciful. “John—! Please-!” You were back at the point of asking him to do something, but not being so sure what it was. You knew you wanted more and more and more of him... and if you were truthful right now, you weren’t sure you even cared how you got it... Suddenly you found yourself lacking for air and your body trembled, heat rushing from your head to between your thighs. One thing for sure, whatever he was capable of. Whatever this was... it was giving you the most intense gratification of your life. Geez, why hadn’t anyone else ever tried this??! Why hadn’t you ever asked anyone to try this??! Maybe it was because you would have ever been too shy to ask... This was a specific kind of exploration. It made you glad to think he’d probably done this before. That experience didn’t make you jealous of anyone else... it made you feel safe.

 He let you come down gently. Watching the way your breathing regulated itself. How every so often you would almost shiver. He ran his fingertips gently over your legs and stomach - the lightest of touches to let you know he was still there. That he would be patient. Once you were at a point he felt safe to leave you for a moment he kissed your forehead gently “See... That’s my good girl... Catch your breath. Darling. I’ll be back...” You needed to do a whole lot more than catch your breath... Daggett came back with a glass of water; “Do you want me to untie you for a minute? Are you okay? Aches? Pains? Don’t worry about vocalising it, that’s exactly what a safe word is for...” he set the glass down. You rolled your shoulders gently, but shook your head. You felt okay... everything felt okay...  you gave a reassuring smile. But by the look on his face that also wasn’t good enough; “Say it. Darling. Out loud.” “Yes. I’m fine.” He gave a nod “Good girl.” He stood to refill his own glass with whisky and came back, “Don’t ever be afraid to say it. There is no other way I’m going to know...” He gathered you in his arms and took the glass. “You sure?” “Yes.” He was glad your voice accompanied the nod. “Ah—! She is a quick learner.” He gave a wink, tipping the glass so you could drink, his other hand caressed, causing another delightful shiver to run your body. The water was just what you needed without you realising it. And you were more than grateful. He set the glass down again, reaching to gently rub your shoulders as you continued to catch your breath. “It’s not that I don’t believe you. I’m aware of your experience, is all... you don’t know what you don’t know...” It felt better with him doing this... but it still wasn’t painful; “Thank you...” His smile was almost gentle “Good, better?” “... Yes sir...” The smile turned to a smirk; “Good girl.” Daggett ran his hands to your wrists to make sure that there weren’t problems there either. And satisfied that you were all set he made sure you finished the glass. Your body was on a new level of high, he knew. And it had much to get used to, things it had probably never done or been subject to before this very moment. The pleasure was as much obvious to him as anything else. But he was more concerned with your body’s reaction to the pain... Would it convert that pain to pleasure or not? He didn’t have any qualms, you seemed to be doing well so far... It was time for him to take it up a notch and see if you still felt the same way. After all, isn’t this what you both wanted? He knew it was amongst the main reasons he’d invited you. He gave you one last gentle kiss before he pulled your legs; you gasped as your back hit the sheets again. Your eyes looked back into his; they were back to that lustful dark blue, and your breath hitched. Now what? How did he manage to switch between the two on the turn of a dime? Why was it so damn sexy? You couldn’t help but feel yourself getting turned on once again and you knew you weren’t the only one by the way he leaned closer, trailing a finger down from your collar bone; “Darling, are you ready for round two?” Wait- what did he just say!?! You’d shot to the galaxy and back twice in quick succession... you were certain that it wouldn’t stop at three...

 **

The fact that he was just as breathless as you made you think that you’d done well for yourself. He kissed your forehead gently. “You ok?” “Yes...” It was about all you could manage, and it was the truth. He wound his arms around you and gently pulled at his tie, undoing it. It was only then that you realised how much your wrists hurt, and they throbbed a little. Daggett took your wrists in his hands and studied the red marks; “S***... That was a little too tight I’m sorry...” He took one in his hands and rubbed it softly, helping circulation set back in; “It’s your first time I should have been more careful…” “You asked if it was too tight. It wasn’t, it was comfortable...” “Still... with you straining and two rounds tied up...” Though he smiled gently, “That’s impressive...” but John knew it was his job to make sure you were okay... His hands moved from your wrists down to your legs, and you winced. Making him sigh again; “I’m sorry...” “Stop being sorry.” “Darling. It is my job to make sure you are safe...” “I had a safe word...” “So you should have used it.” “I didn’t want to.” “Darling I don’t want to hurt you. You have limits... Take this slow. Please...” He kissed your forehead again gently as he continued to soothe you. The skin on your thighs nearly all the way up to your hips was red, and smarted… But to you it still felt so f**king good… And even with Daggett caressing your skin now to work the pain away, you couldn’t help but let out a gentle moan. He wasn’t very good at hiding his tiny smug smirk either. “Stay here a moment... don’t move...” He whispered it against your skin before kissing your shoulder gently. For one he didn’t want you to move until you really had to; your body needed to recover from what you had both just put it through. He grabbed the glass back off the night stand to a soft whine from you; “Come back..!” He chuckled “I will... but I also know you need to hydrate...” You sighed softly watching him walk into the bathroom. It may have been true you’d never done this, and you didn’t know too much about it. But John was obviously eager to explore as much as he could with you if that was what you wanted... You did know a thing or two about what his role was in aftercare... You stretched out, suddenly aware of just how tired your body was. There wasn’t a lot of you that didn’t ache. But some of it was a sweet ache... and you were plenty happy about that. When Daggett returned with the glass you’d already drifted off. He sighed, laughing softly. He wasn’t surprised... you’d just taken a hell of a lot. His one-night proposal back home wouldn’t have adequately prepared you for this. He moved quietly as he placed the glass on your side of the bed with a note “Drink this.” Before he sat for a few minutes with a glass of his own and watched you. He wondered if you’d leave again like last time... So he had to watch you whilst he could... John wasn’t wrong, you were so beautiful... He took you back in his arms gently, and with the minimalist of movements he checked your body for anything else that might need to be called to his attention. Always better to be safe than sorry. You looked fine; Daggett was content he’d dealt with the rest of it. If you did stay then at least he could really make sure your body had made a recovery; or had revealed the extent of the damage... He expected you might have a few bruises....

 Daggett cuddled you close to him, his body wrapped around yours protectively, and ran a hand through your hair. Whispering praises gently against your skin again. It wasn’t that he had never wanted this... The way that almost innocent flirting had built to something much more seductive in your office... He’d just never imagined this would actually be happening. And he was more than just grateful for you.

 ***

 John Daggett realised how much he must have put you through when he also woke before you. The blinds let enough light through for it to gently fall across your form; he tenderly moved your hair from your face and smiled. He was still right, you were so gorgeous. He wasn’t saying it as a part of his evening; he wasn’t saying anything but the truth. And now he got to see you in soft morning sunlight – He could get used to this. He could get used to waking up next to you… As long as you knew that not every evening had to play out the way the previous one had… As long as you were safe and loved and okay… Daggett was glad you hadn’t woken up and left him yet, as you had before. Because now he got to know exactly what this felt like… He re-wrapped his arms around you and touched his forehead to yours lightly, making sure that you still wouldn’t be able to escape… When you woke up you were enveloped in his arms. It wasn’t a gesture you had really expected from him. John’s eyes were so beautiful in the lighting of the room; and kind. With the way he was watching you… His arms were safe, and warm… You couldn’t help but blush gently and almost giggle. “What..?” His voice was soft, barely above a whisper, and you couldn’t hold the look he was giving you.  You shook your head, feeling the blush creep down the rest of your body. You bowed your head and buried your face in your pillow. He chuckled and gathered you to his chest instead “…What? Darling? Tell me…” “…You…” You mumbled, placing your hands so you could feel his heartbeat “…Just… You…” Daggett raised an eyebrow; but you weren’t sure you could so eloquently explain it… From last night to this morning he was being so nice to you. It wasn’t that you didn’t think he was capable; it was just so different to what you’d seen. You realised quickly that it wouldn’t always be like this. He had a side that was like that, that wanted you to be nothing more than completely submissive and powerless to everything he did. But he also had this side… Did that mean, on occasion, Daggett would make love to you? Real love…? Did he expect you to stay, or expect you to leave him? …Did he WANT you to stay? He certainly wanted you to come all the way here to Gotham…

You rolled in John’s arms for a moment to look around the room again; pulling them further around you. He reached for your arms and you let him take your hands in his and he rubbed your wrists gently, still slightly red and sore from his tie. “I’m sorry…Darling I’m sorry… Are you okay…?” You nodded; you were sure… Sure that you were… He nuzzled your face gently in the silence, and kissed your shoulder; "Quit..." "Hmm?" Where did that come from? "Quit your job... Work for me..." "I do work for you." Kinda. "No... Actually... Come work for me..." He ran his fingers through your hair "Move to Gotham..." Now that was a bad idea. “John… I can’t just up and leave…” “Philip can find you something… I’ll find you something… There’s gotta be something you want to do, in all the companies I own.” “Who is gonna look after your account as good as me?” “Who is going to look after ME as good as you.” You rolled back to him, kissing him gently “John… I can’t… I want to stay but…” “Then stay…” He whispered it softly; pulling your body closer to his. His hands running in soothing circles over every part of you that ached. How did he know? You guessed… It was his job to know… Right? If he was going to hurt you, he had to know how to care about you afterwards. “John… I…” “Not forever… Darling just…” His kissed your fingertips “…One more night.” “Hmm?” But he could tell by the look on your face that you were intrigued by the notion of one more night with him, like this… You bit your lip; that stirred something within you already – “Ok.” He laughed; keeping one arm around you he reached over the nightstand and picked up the phone – Oh… “Hello? Yeah, this is John Daggett room 704…” You watched the smirk on his face as he ran his hands through your hair and over your bare shoulders, pressing another kiss to your forehead “…I’d like to book this room for another night, please.” He looked back to you with a wink “…Better make it a late check out too…”

--- I HOPE it was well worth the wait 😘😉

Pretty sure in this situation he does, Bane. Yeah. Can we talk about Daggett with his striped suit and checked shirt/tie combo... What even...? TAKE IT OFF!!! 

[the-gay-in-the-way]

A Thread of Doubt

(Okay, so this is something that I felt kind of compelled to write while I was working on the third part of The Great Boop War of 2018. Reason being that it kind of adds on some extra context to some of the stuff that happens in there.)

(So I figured I’d just go ahead and make this beforehand while the iron was still hot and the ideas were fresh in my mind.)

(You can see this as a stand alone or a spin-off or whatever, but the basic thing you need to know is that it takes place in the same universe as the Boop War, the Utensil War, and Why be Sad When You Can be Even Sadder.)

(It all coincides together and you can read all of them to get some extra context and little references in each one that comes from a different one.)

(Also, there’s a particular line in here that I have Virgil use and it comes from this person right here and their really interesting idea that inspired another really cool person to create an awesome fanfic on Ao3 called Persona that I very much recommend.)

(Also, also, there are a couple of songs I reference in this that I recommend you just generally check out. They’re pretty cool, in my opinion.)

(Myth me-Chilly Gonzales, Roundtable Rival-Lindsey Stirling)

(Anyways, let’s get on with this. Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoy the story.)

Deceit had been helping Patton with the dishes one morning when the moral side had suddenly asked him if he’d like to watch Virgil work that day.

Deceit hadn’t been entirely sure why they were going to watch Virgil work, of all things, but he had been intrigued enough by the question and Patton’s enthusiasm that it hadn’t taken much convincing to make him come along.

And so, Deceit soon found himself standing beside a visibly excited Morality as they both stood inside of Virgil’s bedroom.

“So, do you know where the entrance is? Or are we waiting for Virgil now?”

(Technically, you don’t have to read this part. But I recommend that you do so that you can understand the universe as a whole a little better. It’s what I’m gonna be using in most of my stories so...)

(You know, just as a warning. Read or don’t, it’s your choice. There will be another line and a set of these parenthesized comments where the detailed exposition ends and the rest of the story continues.) 

All sides had a particular “Realm” within the Mindscape they were individually in charge of. Each Realm was attached to the main House/Hub by a specific entrance within each side’s bedroom. The entrance would then lead to a mirrored version of the bedroom and house within the other Realm. And, when you exited the house, you would enter the actual bulk of the Realm itself.

Logan’s Realm was the Memory Library(where all of the subjects, books, movies, music, roles, and lessons Thomas had ever learned/experienced before were kept) and the entrance was behind a secret bookcase door that could only be opened by solving a particular puzzle within the room that Logan changed once every week.

Roman’s Realm was the Imagination Plane(where all of Thomas’s ideas and dreams were kept and, for the most part, created) and the entrance tended to change depending on the day. Sometimes it would be through a wardrobe, other times it would be through a magic mirror, and every once and a while it would be through a painting or a book. Finding it was part of the fun, according to Roman.

Deceit’s Realm was the Memory Archives(where all of Thomas’s actual memories were kept and carefully sorted, organized, and maintained) and the entrance was through a fake wall right across from his bedroom’s door.

Patton’s Realm was the Heartscape(where everything Thomas held dear to his heart like his love for his friends, a collection of his most precious memories, his most deep seated beliefs, and almost all of his emotions as a whole were kept and maintained) and the entrance was through a simple door covered in pictures and stickers and little splashes of paint over in the corner of Patton’s bedroom.

Virgil’s Realm was the Nightmare Plane(where all of Thomas’s fears, doubts, concerns, nightmares, and troubling thoughts were all kept, created, and very carefully maintained) and Deceit didn’t actually know where the entrance was.

(Okay, that’s all the detailed exposition)

(Back to the main story)

Nobody had ever gone to Virgil’s Realm without him or Thomas just sinking them into it, so the other sides weren’t really sure where Virgil’s Realm entrance actually was.

And, whenever someone asked, Virgil would always just say that it was better they not be able to go in on their own anyways.

The Nightmare Plane was a dangerous place, even with Virgil being there to keep them safe.

If they went in without him, nobody was really sure how well that would turn out.

So it was simply one of those things that everyone quietly thought about but never did anything to figure out.

Except, apparently, it wasn’t.

Because Patton was smiling at him and walking towards Virgil’s bed with a confidence that spoke volumes about how much time he spent in the anxious side’s space.

“Virgil showed me where the entrance was a long time ago. And I know where he’s gonna be today, so you can just follow me and I’ll take you where we need to go.”

Deceit blinked in surprise and had to physically keep his jaw from dropping when Patton reached a hand under the overly long sheets of Virgil’s bed, pulled the blankets up and away from the floor, and revealed a very thin black wooden door where the underside of the bed was meant to be.

And then Deceit felt a little like smacking himself.

Of course, the entrance was under the bed.

It was the Nightmare Plane, were else would it be?

Patton grinned at him and waved a hand.

“C’mon, I wanna get there before he starts!”

And, with that said, Patton opened the secret door and slid easily through it.

Then it closed with a startlingly loud slam behind him and Deceit had to take a moment to remind himself that this was Virgil’s Realm Patton had just gone into and the anxious side would never let anything bad happen to them if he could help it.

So, after taking a single long and steadying breath, Deceit made his way to the side of the bed and opened the small door.

It didn’t creak or do anything particularly ominous which surprised him a little.

And it stayed open when he started to slide through it.

It only slammed shut again when he was safely past it.

“There you are! For a second there, I wasn’t sure if you followed me or not.”

Came the muffled voice of Patton from...

Somewhere.

Deceit couldn’t see anything.

Which said a lot considering how good his night-vision usually was.

But he was still on his stomach and, when he raised his head a little, he could still feel the low ceiling/bottom of the bed above him.

Then, suddenly, there was light and it took a moment for Deceit to adjust his eyes enough to clearly see Patton crouched on the floor and looking at him sideways through the thin open door.

“Don’t worry, this is just the bed in Virgil’s other room. So, you can come out now.”

“Oh. Alright then...”

And Deceit shuffled his way out from under the bed, looking around the room with some curiosity once he entered it.

Although Virgil had let them into his Realm a few times in the past, they had never really gone anywhere past the living room before.

The rest of the Realm was far too dangerous, according to Virgil.

“Okay!” Patton said with a firm clap of his hands that made Deceit jump half a foot. “Let’s get going before we miss anything!”

Deceit didn’t bother complaining as he allowed the other side to pull him along.

He simply remained silent and continued to look around the only Realm he’d never really had the chance to explore before.

The main house looked, for the most part, the same.

Just with the additional decorations that tended to vary between each side’s spaces.

The living room, once they reached it, looked as it always did.

Although, there was now the addition of a pile of random pillows and blankets strewn all across the floor.

It looked like a massive pillow fort had attempted to manifest only to somehow miss its mark and just end up collapsed all over the place.

Patton went straight past the mess with only a bit of a fond smile thrown over his shoulder as any sort of acknowledgment.

Deceit kind of wanted to ask about it but didn’t get the chance when Patton reached the front door and swiftly pulled it open.

And Deceit felt chills run down his spine as he and Morality entered the true Nightmare Plane and all that that would entail.

Patton didn’t hesitate when a strong gust of wind pushed at them threw the door and only laughed in delight as he stepped easily through, his hand still pulling Deceit along behind him.

For a moment, Deceit was too afraid of what he’d see to look away from the other side’s back.

But then he started to hear the sounds of something that surprised him.

Crickets chirping.

A breeze gently rushing through leaves.

Water flowing from somewhere nearby. 

So, hesitantly, Deceit looked up.

And was met with a sight that he would easily call one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen.

Outside of the house was a large circular clearing, surrounded by trees.

Within the clearing was a medium-sized pond attached to a waterfall that came from a river leading into the shadows of the surrounding forest.

Next to it was an absolutely massive willow tree with little glowing purple lights gently floating around its swaying limbs.

Small, almost glowing, white flowers dotted the grass like little fallen stars.

And above it all, was a breathtaking view of the sky.

The moon was large and full, surrounded by too many stars to count in a swirling mass of color like Deceit had never seen in anything other than Logan’s pictures of far off galaxies.

Gentle golds and oranges mixed with vibrant blues and purples.

The stars made patterns like no real constellation ever could.

“It’s nice, right?”

Deceit looked quickly back down at the one standing beside him, and realized with a start that they had stopped walking at the edge of the pond.

He took a quick glance and saw that the water was so clear and still that he could see the sky reflected within it.

It was like standing beside a tiny galaxy.

“No.” He breathed. “It’s horrible.”

Then there was the sound of a familiar laugh and Deceit looked up to the willow tree nearby.

“So shocked you lied, huh? I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Virgil walked through an opening in the limbs created by, seemingly, the limbs simply moving themselves for him.

He looked as he always did, though he did seem slightly more relaxed than usual.

Even his eyeshadow seemed just a tad softer than normal.

 “You shouldn’t. I can think of something better to express my shock.”

The anxious side let out a small snort in return as he finally reached the two and came to a stop beside Patton.

He let out a rather long-suffering sigh and directed a baleful glance at the other.

“Hey, Pat. I didn’t realize you were gonna be bringing someone with you today. If I’d known I would’ve made this place a bit spookier or something.” Virgil said with a shrug before bringing a hand up to rub at his neck a little awkwardly. “I’ve got an image to maintain, y’know.”

And Deceit felt the smallest of twinges within his chest.

He understood Virgil’s mindset quite well.

“Nobody cares if you’re scared.” He’d once said to him after a rather heated debate between the sides had ended with Virgil using his voice and control over shadows to intimidate them all into listening to him. “They care if you’re scary.”

Virgil could easily be seen as one of the most caring of the sides.

Both for Thomas and the others.

But he always seemed so dark and mysterious and scary.

That it had been hard to notice before.

Though, that time was passed now.

And they were all famILY.

So Virgil didn’t need to be scary anymore.

This was something that Patton, and now Deceit, wanted to prove to him.

That was, after all, why Patton had brought Deceit with him in the first place.

He’d been trying to find good opportunities to bring the others in and show them around without Virgil being able to stop him beforehand.

And that opportunity was now, so he was going to milk it for all it was worth.

Patton grinned widely at his best friend and released Deceit’s hand before leaping forward and giggling when Virgil instantly caught him.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Virgil. You’re already beautiful in my book, so I don’t know how making this place look any different would make your image change.”

Deceit smiled behind his hand as Virgil’s face turned a very pale shade of pink.

“You’re doing this on purpose aren’t you. I swear you’re the worst, Pat.”

The anxious side’s grumbles were only met with more giggling and some quiet snickers from the peanut gallery.

Then he sighed in a way that sounded, incredibly, even more long-suffering than before.

“Alright, I get it. You’re making a point and trying to reveal my soft and squishy underbelly to the others. That’s fine and all but I actually do need to get some work done today. Thomas is having a good time with his friends so I’d rather take care of it now than worry about it later.”

With the reminder of Virgil’s work, Deceit straightened and Patton let go of the side he’d jumped at to instead face him head on with an excited grin on his face.

“Right! Sorry, yeah, let’s go!”

And Patton ran past Virgil and over to the willow tree, the other sides trailing slowly behind him.

The two stayed silent as they walked but Deceit did give the anxious side a gentle nudge to the arm that was returned with a soft smile.

The gesture spoke volumes, and needed no words to get the intended message across.

When they entered the small enclosed space created by the willow tree’s limbs, Patton was already settled within a little cushioned hollow in the tree’s roots and Deceit took a moment to look around at the floating lights as they idly made their way around the area.

“Alright, get comfortable you two. I’m gonna be at this for a while and I’d really prefer it if you didn’t interrupt anything.”

“Don’t worry! We’ll be good, right Deceit?”

And Deceit nodded as he took a seat in the hollow beside Patton.

“Of course not.”

He didn’t bother making himself tell the truth.

Virgil could tell when he was lying and when he wasn’t.

Indeed, he simply nodded in understanding and took his place standing in front of them.

For a moment, everything seemed to still and take a breath.

Then Virgil took his own breath and sat down on thin air.

Deceit blinked in surprise and watched with no small amount of curiosity as liquid shadows dripped from Virgil’s fingers.

The shadows moved around him and slowly solidified into a piano and a bench.

Then he started to play and Deceit felt something well up in his chest.

And when Virgil started to sing this song that he had never heard before, he felt a little like crying.

“Myth me.”

Patton’s quiet whisper startled him a little and he turned to look at the other side who looked just as affected by the music as he was.

“What?”

Deceit whispered back as quietly as he could.

“The song. It’s called Myth Me. It’s one of my favorites when he works on these threads.”

And that’s when Deceit finally noticed them.

Long, delicate, and glowing white threads filled the air around Virgil like some kind of intricate work of art.

The threads thrummed quietly alongside the music and some seemed to simply loosen and fall apart, disappearing into the air like mist.

“Oh.” 

Was all Deceit could think to say in response.

And that was fine.

The two remained silent for a long time after that.

Simply listening to Virgil as he played and sang.

Occasionally, more shadows would seep from his fingers and take on the forms of featureless humanoids that would play other instruments alongside him.

And the threads continued to loosen and fall apart.

Until all that was left were the tautest of strings.

That was when Virgil stood from the piano and took his place beside it.

A violin quickly formed in his hand and the piano, alongside almost all of the shadows around him dissipated into thin air.

Then Virgil started to play.

And the ethereal calm that had filled the clearing moments before was snapped alongside dozens of the threads as Virgil played a song that sent a thrill of excitement and fear through Deceit’s body.

He felt Patton press close to him and listened closely as the side whispered in his ear once again.

“Roundtable Rival. It’s one of the best at breaking lots of threads at once.”

Deceit wasn’t surprised to hear that.

He watched as the strings continued to snap, letting out impossibly loud cracking and booming sounds that matched the music perfectly each time.

Virgil danced around the threads, and the shadows that played beside him, like he was being carried by the music itself.

With each snap of a thread, blindingly bright light flashed across him and only seemed to intensify with his playing.

And Virgil continued to play that song and so many more until most of the threads were gone.

Finally, Virgil stopped, took a deep breath once more, and let all of the shadows and instruments he had summoned disappear into thin air.

Then Deceit jumped almost a full two feet into the air when Patton leaped up and started to clap with a cheer.

“That was amazing, Virgil!”

The anxious side smiled a little crookedly and rubbed his neck again.

“Thanks, Pat.”

And Deceit found himself quickly nodding along as he stood alongside the moral side.

“No, that was terrible. I hated every second of it.”

And Virgil seemed slightly surprised by the praise but smiled genuinely at the both of them.

“Thanks. I’m glad you guys enjoyed yourselves, I guess.”

And Patton rather suddenly squealed before launching himself at Virgil once again.

Virgil, bless his heart, leaped forward and caught the excitable side without hesitation.

“We have to go and get cookies now! You deserve so many cookies! All of the cookies! I love my dark strange son so much! He deserves all of the cookies in the world!”

Deceit chuckled into his hand as Patton continued to ramble while Virgil just silently carried him away from the tree with an expression of utter defeat and quiet embarrassment on his face.

With one final glance back at the beautiful clearing they were leaving behind, Deceit followed the two emotional sides back into the house with a peaceful smile on his face and a slightly altered view on his family’s resident worrywart.

(Here’s a link to the next part of the CAP Series.)

(A Bed of Links:)

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Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/cerillen

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[missandrogyny]

for @cherrystreet , who asked for this and honestly loves me and my call and delete au more than we deserve

—

He’s driving to work on a normal, Friday morning when he hears it.

See, Louis doesn’t usually listen to the radio—it’s unnecessary, since he’s got Spotify on his phone, an aux cord in his car, and all the songs he likes segmented into a bunch of playlists he can pick and choose from, depending on his mood. Besides, it’s got ads, which is incredibly annoying, and a person prattling on and on about God-knows-what, which is even more annoying.

But he’d stayed up really late last night, marking papers and binge-watching Game of Thrones late, and well. No matter how much Louis tries to deny it, he’s no longer nineteen, and by extension, no longer capable of running on two hours of sleep.

Which is why he does two things he normally doesn’t do.

First, he stops by a Costa and buys himself a coffee. Fucking disgusting, that shit, but sadly, necessary.

And second, he turns on the radio.

He regrets it the instant he does—as expected, there’s a twat already on the radio, waffling on and on about things Louis couldn’t care less about. He’s got a really annoying voice, this one, and Louis thinks that’s probably why he’d been put on morning radio; he seems like he’s capable of waking up even zombies by talking about Cheryl Cole’s hair or Rita Ora’s new bikini.

God. What did Louis just do to himself.

Still, he leaves it on, half-listening, half-focusing on getting to the school. The sooner he gets there, the sooner he’ll get to the teacher’s lounge, where he can nap until it’s time for his first class.

He’s just about managed to pull into the school parking lot—five minutes to seven, he notes happily—when the DJ says something that catches his attention.

“… Cute Lou from the loo!” The twat with the really annoying voice is saying, sounding incredibly smug about the whole thing. Louis tries his best to suppress a laugh, rolling his eyes. It’s a horrible pun, but, to be fair, it’s also quite creative. Louis has to give the DJ points for that.

“What am I gonna say?” From the radio, someone else speaks up, his voice much deeper than the DJ’s. He speaks slowly, like he’s mulling over everything he’s saying. He sounds familiar too—there’s something about his voice that kicks up a strange sense of déja-vu.

It’s also really obvious, judging by the question, that this man is playing call or delete. That’s always a load of fun to listen to.

“She’s cute right?” The annoying-voiced DJ asks, still sounding incredibly smug. It takes a moment for Louis to place the voice as Nick Grimshaw’s, which means this must be the Breakfast Show or something. Makes sense, since it’s so early in the fucking morning. “Do like, a romantic declaration over the phone. And ask her out for dinner.”

Louis has no idea what compels him to turn the radio up. “A romantic declaration?” The other, nicer-voiced man replies. Now that he’s hearing it again, he’s pretty sure he’s heard this man’s voice before, but from where, he isn’t sure. Most possibly from a film or something, because this is call or delete and the only people who play call or delete are film stars or musicians, but also there’s something about this man’s voice, something that makes him feel like they’ve spoken before, or at least exchanged a few words.

Grimshaw laughs. “Yeah,” he says. “It’ll be fun! I’m dying to know who this Cute Lou from the loo is, anyway. You never tell me anything, young Harold.”

Harold. The name jogs something in his memory. Louis’ pretty sure he doesn’t know anyone named Harold—it’s an old-person name, and the list of old people Louis knows is decidedly short. It’s even shorter when Louis adds the factor of the person being somewhat famous; Louis doesn’t think he’s ever spoken to an old, famous person who went by the name Harold.

But then the Grimshaw did call him young Harold. So, either that was sarcasm or…he’s not that old.

He’s so focused on trying to figure out where the fuck he’s ever met a young Harold that he stops paying attention to the radio, doesn’t hear when the person decides to get on with the dumb call or delete game. He does, however, hear when his phone rings shrilly, and it startles him, making him jump up on his seat and bang his knee on the underside of the dashboard.

“Fuck,” he mutters, annoyed at his own reaction. This is why he doesn’t drink coffee, it makes him all jittery and jumpy.

But whatever. Louis grunts, using one hand to rub at his knee and the other to answer the phone, not bothering to look at the caller ID. “Hello?”

He’s met with a dead silence. Louis frowns, confused.

“Hello?” He tries again, slower this time. The person on the other line still doesn’t speak, but Louis can hear someone breathing. It’s kind of creepy, if Louis’ being honest.

Or maybe what’s creepy is the way someone one the radio is saying hello, muffled, like they’re speaking over a phone line, just a split-second after Louis.

Louis narrows his eyes at his radio. Either he’s being haunted by a ghost that’s possessed both his phone and his radio, or this is a prank call.

“Hel-lo?” He says again, this time, making himself sound as annoyed as possible. If this is a prank call, Louis has to admit it’s a really well-executed one.

“Hi,” the person on the other line finally replies, and Louis is surprised by how low and deep the voice is. He’s even more surprised when young Harold on the radio says Hi too, just a split second after.

Louis pauses, an idea forming slowly in his mind. He looks at the radio suspiciously. “Hello,” he tests, and hears the muffled, phone voice on the radio a say the same thing split-second after.

“Hi,” the man on the other line says, and, as expected, young Harold on the radio says the same thing.

Holy shit. “Hello,” Louis tests again, and the muffled phone voice on the radio repeats what he just said.

“Um, hi,” the man replies, followed by young Harold saying the exact same thing.

It’s official. Louis is going completely, batshit insane. He’s never drinking coffee again. “Mate, are you having me on?” He demands, a bit shrilly. On the radio, he hears the muffled voice say the same thing, which only confirms his suspicions. He glares at it, before shutting it off completely. “Who is this?”

How do you have my number, he thinks, but he doesn’t ask—one question at a time. He’s still trying to wrap his head around the fact that a famous, young person named Harold has his number and landed on it while playing call or delete on the radio at arse-o’-clock in the fucking morning.

“Hi.” Young, famous Harold who Louis is apparently talking to on the phone, stammers. “Sorry. I mean, hi. Um, sorry again, uh, for saying hi, but, hi. Hello. I’m Harry.“

So he’s not Harold, he’s Harry. That certainly widens his prospects. By a bit too much though, because Harry is an extremely common English name and Louis lives in fucking England. He can’t even begin to count the number of Harrys he’s met in his life.

“Harry?” He asks. “Harry who?”

There’s a pause. “Just, uh, Harry,” Harry says cryptically. “We met in the loo.”

Makes sense, because somehow, he’s supposed to be Cute Lou from the loo, but. Has he even met a Harry in the loo? Louis racks his brain, thinking it over. Maybe he met a Harry in the club he and Stan went to a few weeks back? He can’t really remember; his memory of that night is extremely fuzzy, drenched in tequila and regret. Maybe one of his kids’ parents’ name is Harry, and they met in the loo during a PTA meeting. But no, Louis doesn’t remember a Harry at a PTA meeting, much less giving his number out to a parent.

He’s just about to give up and say, sorry mate, wrong number, when a weird idea occurs to him, all the pieces of the puzzle falling into place.

And. Fuck.

This is—this is Harry Styles, one-fourth of England’s most beloved, most popular boyband. Harry Styles with the curly hair and the green eyes and the dimples, who can charm anyone in seconds; Harry Styles, whose face is plastered on the billboard across from Louis’ house and behind the door of Lottie’s bedroom in Doncaster. The same Harry Styles, Louis notes, feeling slightly faint, he met when he tried out for the X-Factor back in 2010, the one who had been so nervous that he’d accidentally weed on Louis’ trousers.

He remembers it vividly now, remembers teasing him over the weeing accident. Remembers giving the cute boy a hug, and creepily smelling him. Remembers asking for an autograph and a photo, then giving the boy his number before leaving in what he’d thought was a mysterious and alluring flirting tactic at the time. God, he was such an embarrassing little shit. There’s a reason why he’d repressed all of his memories from before he turned twenty.

Louis winces. “Curly Harry? As in Curly Harry Styles?”

“Yes! Yes, that’s me.” The relief in Harry’s voice is palpable even through the phone. Now that Louis knows it’s him, he can appreciate his voice more—it’s much lower than Louis remembers it to me, but it’s still just as slow and raspy. “Yeah, Harry Styles, hi. That’s me.”

And Louis, because apparently, his brain never grew out of his being-embarrassing-when-talking-to-a-cute-boy phase, blurts out, “You’re the one who pissed on my trousers five years ago!”

It’s official. In order to save the world from secondhand embarrassment, Louis must die. Jesus, he knew Harry was on the radio, why the fuck did he even say that?

“Um, yeah,” Harry replies hesitantly. God, he probably hates Louis. “I’m sorry about that, again, by the way. I don’t really—I don’t actually remember what happened at that moment, I just—”

Louis wants to stop talking about this right now. “No worries,” he interrupts, as casual as he can. “It was a great way to leave an impression. So, what’s up, why’re you calling?”

There. He did that quite well. There’s hope for him yet.

There’s a silence on the other line, like Harry doesn’t know what to say. If Louis were him, he’d just hang up. Fuck this whole dumb game.

But Harry is evidently not like Louis because he pushes on. “Are you still cute?” He says, quicker than Louis has ever heard him speak, his words mashing together.

And it dawns on Louis that maybe, just maybe, Harry is finding this just as mortifying as Louis is. That he, too, doesn’t know how to act, talking on the phone to a boy he’d weed on years ago, when he was a bright-eyed sixteen-year-old just on his way to making it big.

There’s a strange sort of solidarity in this, in the way both of them are unsure how to navigate the waters of a long-delayed conversation, in the way their first proper exchange is being broadcasted to a whole bunch of people listening. And really, Harry is the famous one here, which means that Harry is the one everyone is listening for, Harry is the one who’s got a million eyes on him. Harry is the one who’s going to live with the embarrassment if Louis chooses to continue embarrassing him, because tabloids and fans and social media never forget.

When put like that, how could Louis not try to make it easier for him?

He snorts. “Uh, yeah,” he says, trying to sound completely at ease. He hopes it works—hopes that his easy cooperation will help relax Harry, even just a little bit. “I think I’m still pretty cute. I’m never not cute.”

“Not ‘handsome’ then?” Harry’s reply comes, and there’s a slight shift in the tone of his voice, one that has him sounding a bit more confident. Louis bites his lip in anticipation. “Or ‘rugged’ or ‘manly’?”

“No, I am,” Louis answers immediately. “Cute and handsome and rugged and manly. I’m all of those things and so much more. Keep up, Harold, you should’ve already known this.”

It’s a bit conceited. Louis doesn’t really care.

“Sorry,” Harry replies, and he might be smiling. Louis isn’t sure. “It’s not as if I’ve seen you in five years, or anything, Louis.”

“Whose fault is that?” Louis shoots back easily, doing his best to sound mildly displeased. There’s an opening here, one that Louis hopes Harry takes, so he can get this call or delete game over and done with.

And Harry doesn’t disappoint. “Mine,” he says confidently. “Let’s fix that, though. Go out with me.”

Louis lets himself have a dramatic pause. “What? What are you saying?”

“I’m saying, Lewis,” and Louis lets out an involuntary noise at the mispronunciation of his name. Harry giggles a bit though, which is good. It means he’s relaxed enough to laugh. “That I like you a lot and I think you’re really cute and handsome and rugged and manly and I’d sort of like to hold your hand and take you out to dinner sometime.”

Well. It’s very forward. Louis definitely wasn’t expecting him to be that forward. “Mate, I don’t know,” he says. “It’s been a while. What if I’m a taken man?”

“Then you’ll break my heart,” Harry answers, and this back and forth is easy, much easier than Louis was expecting. This is call or delete game is actually quite fun.

Or maybe it’s just Harry. Maybe talking to Harry is just a lot of fun.

“But I hope you’re not,” Harry adds, almost way too sincerely.

Honestly, Louis hasn’t been on a date in about a year. The last bloke he’d went out with broke things off when they were getting a bit serious, claimed he couldn’t do any of that commitment thing. And Louis is definitely curious to see Harry Styles in person, to see if all the photos live up to what he looks like now.

But then again, this is a game. A prank. Louis doesn’t want to say yes, because then Harry might feel bad for pranking Louis and feel obligated to take him out.

“But I don’t know you that well,” Louis finds himself saying, the words flowing out of him easily. “So for me to give you a chance, you’re going to have to sell it. Come on then, what’s your edge over the other guys vying for my attention?”

If Harry is surprised by that turn of events, he doesn’t make it known. “Well, I’m still curly,” he says, without missing a beat. “You liked my curls, didn’t you?”

His curls were a complete mess when they met. It looked like his hair had grown a boy, and not the other way around. Louis thinks it’s best not to say that, though. “I did,” he says. “But I can find other guys with curls easily. What else?”

“I’m funny,” Harry declares, after a moment’s pause. “Knock-knock.”

Of course. “Who’s there?” Louis asks. He catches himself grinning like an idiot in the rearview mirror, and he scowls at his reflection, pinches his own cheek to stop himself from smiling.

It’s just a dumb knock-knock joke. He really needs to get it together.

“A cow goes,” Harry answers.

Louis rolls his eyes. “A cow goes who?”

“No, a cow goes moo.”

“You know what,” he says, trying to sound uninterested. “You remind me of my little sisters. They’re twelve.”

“They must be hilarious then,” Harry replies, the exact same time his phone lets out a series of vibrations against his cheek. He pulls it away from his face, puts Harry on speakerphone.

“A lot more hilarious than you,” he shoots back, as he navigates to his messages. There, at the top, Lottie has sent him a bunch of texts, ranging from how the fuck does bloody HARRY STYLES have your number to HE’S FUCKING FLIRTING WITH YOU????? ON THE RADIO???????  WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS MY LIFE

Teenage girls are so dramatic.

Harry, oblivious to what he’s doing, giggles cutely. Louis finds himself laughing too, at Lottie’s incredibly dramatic texts and this entire, surreal morning.

“Okay, fine,” Harry says, once they’ve both stopped laughing. “I’m really romantic.”

This should be good. Louis takes Harry off speakerphone, tries to stop himself from grinning too much. “That little declaration earlier was the farthest thing from romantic, Harry.”

“No, but look, I can try again,” Harry says, sounding determined.  "Roses are red, violets are blue—”

”—oh my god—”

“—I think you’re hot, go out with me, Lou?”

“That was terrible,” Louis says, trying to stop himself from laughing. Even over the phone, Harry Styles is ridiculously endearing, and a whole lot charming. Louis can kind of see why he’s got the entire world falling over themselves for him. “I give it a three out of ten.”

“Shut up,” Harry says, but he’s laughing as he says it “So, what do you say, then? Dinner?”

Louis sighs dramatically. “I’m not easy to please, Styles,” he says. “I demand a lot of attention and cuddles.”

“Okay, yeah.”

An idea forms in Louis’ head. “I also like long walks on the beach, horseback riding, sleeping in front of the fire, having my photo taken by paparazzi everywhere, having Taylor Swift write songs about me—”

“Wait, what?” Harry interrupts, but Louis ignores him.

“—Free concert tickets, being able to attend A-list events, meeting Beyoncé and Jay-Z, drunkenly talking to Tom Hanks, baking Stevie Nicks a cake,“ Louis takes a deep breath. “I just don’t know how you’ll be able to provide all that for me,” he finishes, a bit sarcastically.

There’s a moment of silence where he thinks he’s miscalculated, thinks that he’s accidentally offended Harry, and he’s just opened his mouth to apologize profusely when Harry—

Harry laughs.

It’s loud and full-bodied, like it’s coming from somewhere deep inside him, and it sounds relieved and happy that Louis finds himself giggling too, finds himself laughing along with Harry Styles over the phone, like it’s just the two of them. Like it’s just him and Harry and a phone line, like there aren’t well over a million people listening to every word they’re saying.

“I don’t know if I can,” Harry replies.

“Hm.” Louis hums. “You’re right. You’re just curly and you have ridiculously bad jokes and you have no romantic bone in your body.” He pretends to think about it. “Maybe I’ll get a popstar boyfriend instead. You know that bloke, yeah, Zayn Malik? From that boyband, One Erection was it? He’s really fit. Cheekbones and smouldering eyes and all that. Maybe he’ll be able to take care of my needs.”

“You know, then.” Harry states, and the happiness in his voice is audible over the phone.

Louis rolls his eyes, grinning all the while. “Harold,” he says. “I have five little sisters.  And I’m not dumb or blind, your face is everywhere. Here in London, at least.”

“You’re in London?” Harry asks, excitement in his voice.

“Yeah, moved two years ago.”

There’s another silence, where Harry seems to be digesting this information. Then, “So, how about dinner, then?”

He probably remembered he was meant to be playing a prank. Louis decides to just end the entire thing. “Um, you don’t have to continue, Harry,” he says. “I do know you’re playing call or delete with Nick Grimshaw.”

“You do?”

“I mean, yeah,” Louis replies, biting his lip. “Aside from the fact that I was listening before you called—Cute Lou from the loo, by the way, ha—” that nickname is really fucking ridiculous, “—my sister texted me, asking how bloody Harry Styles has my number.”

“What did you say?”

“I told her that we met when we engaged in a rather fun game of watersports,” Louis says, the same time his phone vibrates against his cheek again. He pulls it away from his ear, sees that he received a string of random capital letters from Lottie, and decides to ignore it.

“You did not,” Harry says, when Louis puts his phone back to his ear. He’s laughing as he speaks.

“I did,” Louis insist, his grin threatening to grow wider. He should really tone it down a notch; his cheeks are beginning to hurt.

Still, he can’t help but tease Harry a little bit. “And it’s true, anyway. I have proof. I’ve still got those trousers somewhere, I could still say they’ve been splashed with Harry Styles pee and auction them off. Your fans would love them, I’m sure.”

Those pants have since been washed and stored in a box somewhere in his mum’s house in Doncaster. Or maybe given away to charity. He’s not really sure.

“Oh, God,” Harry says. “Please don’t.”

Louis tries not to laugh. “But how much money would I earn?”

“Louis,” Harry says helplessly.

“Harry,” Louis replies back.

“Lewis.”

“Harold.”

“Grimmy,” Grimshaw speaks, and Louis feels his little Harry Styles bubble pop. He’s suddenly acutely aware that he’s sitting in his car in the school parking lot, grinning like a loon and wasting gas. “I’m sorry, I had to interrupt, despite how entertaining your flirting is, I’m afraid we really don’t have enough time. We’ve still got to play a couple of songs, and answer a few more fan questions.”

“Okay,” Louis says, and he can’t help but feel a tiny sliver of sadness in his chest. It’s dumb, he knows—he hasn’t spoken to Harry in five years, but. Somehow it still feels like Louis would miss him, when they eventually hang up.

God. He’s so pathetic. Louis slaps himself in the face quietly before turning off his car’s engine. He needs to get it together. He’s still got a full day’s worth of classes to teach.

“Bye Harry,” he adds, making his inflection as happy as he can. He doesn’t want to weird Harry out by being too clingy, after all. “I’ll talk to you soon. Have fun at the rest of the radio show, and good luck with whatever.”

He waits for Harry to say “Bye Louis,” before he hangs up, pushing his phone into his trouser pocket. He grabs his bag, locks his car, and brisk walks all the way to the teacher’s lounge.

He finds Luke, the English teacher, already in the lounge, a cup of tea in his hand. He raises an eyebrow when he sees Louis. “You alright, mate? You look a bit wired.”

Louis waves a hand as casually as he can. “`s nothing,” he says, as he makes his way to the small kitchenette for tea. His hands are shaking as he takes down a mug from the cupboard, and he has to take a few deep breath to calm himself. He hopes Luke doesn’t notice. “Just a weird morning.”

“Oh?” Luke asks. “Wanna talk about it?”

Louis drops the teabag into the cup, pours the hot water already in the kettle. “Got pranked, that’s all,” he says breezily. He picks up the mug, savouring the warmth of it between his hands, takes a sip. The taste of it immediately calms him down. “Nothing too nasty though. Was a good laugh.”

Luke opens his mouth to say something, but Louis beats him to it. “`m gonna head to my classroom. Wanna do some marking before the kids come trickling in. Gonna be a long day, for sure.” He waves at Luke, doesn’t wait for him to respond before he’s slipping out of the teacher’s lounge, making his way to his classroom.

He leans against his desk, using one hand to pull his phone from his pocket. He ignores Lottie’s numerous texts, navigating all the way to his call history and tapping on the first number there.

It takes him a few minutes, and a few false starts, but eventually, he manages to compose a text that he deems decent enough. finally have your number! after five years, wow. nice talk to you today. you’re a long way from the sixteen year old i met in the loo, eh?

He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and presses send before he can think about it too much. After, he buries his phone in the deep recesses of his bag, and proceeds to ignore it for the rest of the day.

He’s got things to do.