#there are a couple of scenes that I believe are just exquisite

[meanbossart]

Okay, one more question on the Bhaalist Drow au, if you'll indulge. What happens in Astarion's mindthe immediate aftermath of the ascension failing (as in, right then but also up until the game's end). Do they bother showing up to Withers' party? How does Astarion go slip sliding down into a cowed version of himself over time? And, what I am most fascinated by in something like this, how do the other cultists, especially direct reporters to DU Drow, or like deputies, treat him? Does Astarion find he's confined certain places?

Sorry, thank you!

No apologies needed! This is a very fun scenario to play around in.

So, I'm not sure if Astarion would immediately realize that DU drow purposefully ruined the ritual, but regardless he would have realized that this is the outcome he truly wanted.

I imagine that after Du drow embraced Bhaal, Astarion would have gotten it into his head that he now must ascend so they will be on leveled ground, and fully capable of pursuing their plans of taking control over the sword coast together as equally powerful individuals. DU drow would have sold himself as completely behind this plan and supportive of the idea, eager for them to exert total control as the most dashingly evil couple in all of Faerun. And perhaps this was genuine for a day, before the fear of losing his grasp over Astarion began to settle in. He didn't voice this as all, of course, but as an avid manipulator himself Astarion would be able to tell post-failure that his support wasn't earnest.

And I think Astarion just panicked; going back and forth between convincing himself that he should be thankful to have someone powerful by his side, and just feeling like has no other option but to go along with it. Whether or not he thinks he can abandon DU drow successfully, the world has just become a much scarier place than before, and at least here he knows he has someone to take care of him - someone he should be fond of, even if time eventually proves him wrong.

For a while (weeks, if not months) Astarion would have appeared nothing if not pleased with his predicament. He has a man who is head-over-heels for him who also happens to be the head-honcho of a powerful cult, he has access to as much blood and violence as he pleases and the ability to entertain his fantasies of power and cruelty to their fullest. If there is anyone left who cares for him, he paints elaborate pictures of their routine together - of their outings, of their riches, of his exquisite quarters and their intense sex. He tells them that DU drow might be Bhaal's chosen, but he has him wrapped tight around his finger day and night and pretty much runs the show behind the scenes.

These are fantasies that he wants to others to believe in as much as he wants to convince himself of them, and a narrative that DU drow might even humor - he likes the illusion of Astarion being in control, but it can't ever be like that in practice - but reality is a lot more hollow. They have gold, and they have the expensive garments, and the sex is intense, but life has become a performance from morning until night and Astarion has completely lost the element of tenderness that he had grown to enjoy. DU drow loves him like a prized possession, like a novelty - a fragile ornament that only he knows how to handle, and no one else is allowed near.

Whenever there is push back, whenever Astarion wants to branch out, he is reminded of how vulnerable and small he is. How every day occurrences and objects can harm him, and that while DU drow may appreciate him for the man he is, others will take him for a simple monster. That It is much easier to stick by his side, sacrifice some of his freedom but be cared for than to risk exposing himself to harm. DU drow also constantly reminds him of the pain he would be in if anything were to ever draw them apart, and guilts him about what may happen if he was to die.

And as rebellious towards Cazador as he might have been, total servitude is a default he learned to fall back into in search of safety. It is easier to turn to old habits and simply accept his circumstances, surrender to them. At least here, he is never tortured, he is never physically hurt, and he is only sometimes verbally berated. He can deal with it as long as it is an improvement upon his previous situation. Slowly, he'd just become DU drow's yes-man, he'd concern himself constantly with pleasing him, looking desirable, acting desirable, fulfilling his fantasies and acting the part that's expected of him. From the outside it may even seen like he enjoys the life.

He is basically seen but not heard by DU drow's consorts. It's less about the respect that they may or may not have for him and more about the respect (or should I say fear) that they have for their leader. DU Drow would make it clear again and again that no one is allowed to touch him, he would be weary of anybody trying get too close, of being too friendly, even of staring a little too hard - he would kill and torture men over the most mundane of comments whether they be positive or negative until everyone is just too fearful of interacting with Astarion at all. As for people outside of the temple, he basically never has a chance to mingle without DU drow's watchful gaze over him (all for the sake of protecting him, of course).

I think Sceleritas would be the only person who can consistently interact with alone, since DU drow trusts him completely. The little goblin himself no longer sees Astarion as so much of a person, more so a possession; one that keeps his master happy and productive. So he extends the same amount of respect to him as he does to DU drow himself, and functions as a butler to both.

He also reports back to DU drow about Astarion's every request, every diversion from habit, every misplaced sigh and fluctuation in mood, every eye-roll. He knows the questions to ask to get the answers he wants, to interrogate him with poise on behalf of his master so he can make sure that his beau is always happy and content. Astarion realizes this learns to watch himself around Sceleritas over time too.

[moirindeclermont]

Shall I bring to you the unhinged list I promised yesterday??? So, yesterday it was all about intimate scenes that I wish for Pen and Colin in Bridgerton season 4 that could happen in canon. Today... Today is about stuff that won't happen in canon, but maybe someone will head my pray and let this happen somehow. Disclaimer, if you're not into this it's okay, but by now you know I'm unhinged, so let's go on this journey together.

I want a scene with Jealous Colin, maybe someone that flirts a little too shamelessly with Pen. Followed by the most scorching hot scene in which he bends her over their desk and things get real intense quickly, maybe with a spank or two.

You know it's coming. My personal favorite combination. Edging and dirty talking. I write a whole fic for this for a reason. Just Colin telling her the mot nasty stuff while she can't seek her release.

I know I will lose you here, but I can't believe the Benedict is the only one that get to experience a threesome... So let's make it Polin style. I admit, it requires a bit of plot because it's not something that can happen overnight. The gender is not important, but maybe two men (Colin + someone) that both worship Pen... Yeah, that I can see it.

Some stuff with clamps? Or even just ropes. Pen in ropes would be something exquisite. Of course they do this while looking in the mirror, do you really have to ask? It's soft!Dom Colin but to its extreme. And why not also reverse it, just Dom Pen in all her glory.

They love doing public stuff right? Then let's go and embracing it. They know people are watching.. and they love it. Colin would love to make the whole Ton recognize that Pen is an extraordinary woman, but she is also his.

A reverse carriage scene... I think Pen on her knees would be at the perfect height to experience the power that come with pleasing his man with hands and mouth. And talking about this, let's go to the land of numbers and explore what a 69 can bring to the dynamic, why not?

And while these will likely never happen, even though a couple could be achieved if the actors are comfortable with it, of course we will always have fanfiction (and I'm making a list for a future post with my recommendation). But some of these may service a plot purpose, although it's extremely unlikely that those plots will ever be considered for them.

But I'm very curious to hear it from you... What's your unhinged hope for Polin in season 4?

[flanaganfilm]

Hey Mike! Absolutely love your work, especially Haunting of Hill House and Fall of the House of Usher. I was wondering a couple things:

Any chance we will ever get to see that deleted scene where Carla plays a homeless woman singing to Madeleine? Loved the Easter egg and also can’t get enough of Verna so it would be so cool to see that deleted scene!

Also wanted to know what it was like working with Mary? It was such a joy to see her in House of Usher!! Hoping to see her in future Flanaverse projects!!

Hi there! That material was removed very early in the editing process, long before the scene was completed, so there isn't a finished "scene" to show. Carla and Mary did fine work acting in those moments, but the series as a whole is stronger without it, so a completed version of the scene with that footage simply never existed. It's an odd alchemy when you tell a story this way, and sometimes scenes that seem to work on the page can be acted beautifully, shot exquisitely, and still not be necessary or additive. In this case, it actually worked against the mysteries of the show, it wasn't believable that Madeline wouldn't recognize Verna, and it was clear that this was a mistake. It was my mistake for writing the scene the way I did, and it happens all the time. We could tell immediately that it didn't fit, so we didn't waste much time proving it out. Releasing deleted scenes is a tricky thing. I love bonus features - it's one of the great benefits of physical media - but even if we had a huge special edition box set of Usher, I don't know that we would have included this scene. Sometimes these things just aren't meant for the audience, even as an interesting relic, and this is one of those times. Incidentally, I had the same feeling about some of the material that didn't make it into the Bly Manor edit. We knew the scenes weren't working very early in the process, so they were never refined into any shape that would warrant their release. Fans will hear an actor talk about scenes they worked on, and the fans get all excited, but if they were to see those scenes it wouldn't enhance their love of the characters or the story... in fact, it can work against it. For years, I've had Bly fans reach out lamenting that they can't see some of the Bly material they've read about in cast interviews, but I'm certain that seeing it in its raw, unfinished state wouldn't enhance or deepen their love of the characters or the show. There's really nothing to release. It's just excess material that lands on the floor while you're sculpting, and sticking it back onto the sculpture only makes a noticeable wart. Other times, though, deleted scenes can be incredibly additive. For example, I think the 30 minutes we took out of the theatrical release of Doctor Sleep only enhanced the movie, and made the experience that much more rich - which was why I was so happy to release the Director's Cut with those scenes restored. Those scenes, though, were fully finished, and only removed in the first place because of the movie's run-time. Restoring those elements made the sculpture complete - they were always supposed to be there. But most times, deleted material is just unnecessary material. It can be like having an amazing meal prepared for you, and then being handed a plate of surplus or unused ingredients. Like, the chef needed to peel a lemon before squeezing it over the meal as a wonderful finishing touch. That dash of citrus really made the meal sing. But that doesn't mean you want to eat the peel. And I LOVE working with Mary. I'm sure we'll do it again!

[silviakundera]

Does it feel like they're trying to redeem the dickless bore? idk if he's doing a con on her or they're showing he has real feelings for her wasn't the novel different?

One thing I'm really noticing in the Princess Royal (Grand Princess) adaption is that they will 'play it straight' with characters like Su Rongqing and the Emperor: giving the character similar dialogue and facial expressions as they would have in the novel -- except without PWX or LR's internal dialogue of 🙄 why u lying???

🙄 lol ok sure

😒 oh i see, back on your bullshit again

😤 the AUDACITY

😬 oh shit oh shit danger BE COOL

The consequence is that if you take everything at face value, the Emperor seems like a reasonable guy and not up for The Absolute Worst Dad award. Under the surface, the novel reader knows he is acting out a play and coldly calculating every interaction with Li Rong, the Crown Prince, and Consort Ruo. Every single scene with him, Li Rong is in peril and she knows it. She's pretending to be his sweet, obedient 19 year old daughter who believes in him and is following Pei Wenxuan's direction and acting as a puppet, making moves that he has already approved PWX to make. The Emperor's pretending that this play isn't supposed to end with LR and the Crown Prince taken down & the power transferred into Consort Ruo and the other prince's hands.

The viewer can just interpret all the words coming out of a character's mouth as facts & just believe everything they claim about their motives/real agenda as true. Or they recall the implied horrorshow of Life 1 and view all of these interactions with a cynical eye, questioning what else could be under the surface.

With SRQ, that guy is so fucking complicated. I think actually he's portrayed in character. Nothing we have seen isn't .... him. At least so far, as of ep 19 he aligns with the novel.

But 3 different factors: A) The music is romantizing him; B) The audience is given a couple internal-thought voice overs from him, which other antagonists don't get; C) With those voice-overs, the screenwriter has chosen to affirm his love for his brother and LR way earlier than the reader has it confirmed in the novel (where he is intentionally kept a total mystery for far longer, while the reader is the math lady meme, trying to piece together clues to figure him out).

And ultimately, when in SRQ's PoV in the drama, we have to deal with him being the hero of his own story. He is absolutely sincere about himself and, as has been revealed, in his own way he's sincere about wanting LR and his brother to have a good life this time around.

So does that mean the writer intends to do a swerve in the narrative arc and redeem him in the end? It's totally possible. Maybe?

However, not necessarily.

#1 There is a certain refrain from many of the great cnovel/drama villians: I had no choice! You all forced me to this!

We saw it from Shen Yurong in The Double, we saw it from Meng Yao/JGY in The Untamed, and in the novel (and I presume in the drama), we're gonna see it from Su Rongqing.

And it's the reason why they become villians who can't be saved. Because so many people suffer in life or experience unfairness. But they don't turn around and use this as an excuse to enact horrible cruelties on others.

Out of the billions of people in the world, few have no problems but so many of them actively chose to do good, or are willing at least to turn back and be better.

#2 imo the reason LR has historically been bad at reading people's hearts but has an exquisite read of SRQ, his flaws & darkness, is THAT'S HER FUCKING MOM. And I do think ep 16-18 put that out there in the text, if you're looking for it. He and the empress are the same sophisticated aristocrat who is clever & educated but with a narrow perspective limited by their privilege and desperate need to maintain the status quo. So sorry bro, but no wonder she might have settled for marrying you in the first life if you wanted to, but she was never gonna fall in love with you 💀.

PWX can see that SRQ loves her and he thinks that matters, so it scares him. LR has tender nostalgia for her empress mother and her former companion but she's all too aware that their love for her will not necessarily get in the way of stepping on her to protect the social structure of a powerful aristocracy class operating at a higher level above the peasants and restraining the throne. To them, this is safety and stability that guards the realm.

(ofc both those characters are complex and when it comes to LR's life & death we can't be confident on what they will always choose. that's part of what made all the palace drama aspects of the novel incredibly suspenseful. So many of the suppporting characters are layered and tho everything they do makes sense when it happens, you can't often predict people's hard choices when their back is up against the wall)

Story of Kunning Palace and The Grand Princess say that caring about people and trying your best to understand them, wanting what's best for them by listening to what's best for them, can make a huge difference. But not everyone is willing to change.

[lara-kaminari]

The benefits of the modern era

(Sebastian Sallow x F!MC)

AU University / +18/ ONE-SHOT / Explicit Language / Fantasize.

-----

Note: I had this thought and I had to write it down

----

Sebastian Sallow is a great lover of the modern era.

He loves advances in technology, medicine, music and art. It has evolved enormously in different aspects of everyday life. Who would think that today you press a button and you can communicate with a person twenty countries away? It is exquisite. So much to learn just one click away from achieving it.

However, above all the existing achievements of the human species, what Sebastian Sallow loves most about modern times are short skirts. Blessed invention of this new century, amen to freedom and free expression of bodies!

Perhaps, in a bleak time where light is produced only by candles and not by electric bulbs, Sebastian would be content to see the ankle of some neglected damsel. Now he pities those ancient customs full of false decorum and little skin-to-skin contact.

In fact, if it comes to that, Sebastian also loves the university library: It's comfortable, spacious, has those soft armchairs that are usually backless. Covered by a rigid fabric that can be made of different materials: leather, fabric, plastic, the interior is filled with soft materials such as polystyrene pieces which makes it adaptable to different spaces and uses. Its structure resembles a large cushion as it has no legs, resting its entire base on the floor. He can just lie down with a good book between his legs and enjoy the world from a different height.

The low height allows him to see the girls climbing the moving ladder to grab a book from the high shelf or those who spread their legs a little apart as they sit at the table in front of him.

And there he was. Sebastian snuck up stealthily, grabbed a book and leaned back on the colorful rubber seat in the corner of the place.

If anyone messed with him, he would make believe he was reading some very important history for his exam.

There was not much activity the first hour. Indeed, the warmth of the room and the comfort meant that sleepiness began to wash over him. It would have been a wasted morning except that, suddenly, he heard a stack of books fall and someone groan in pain, very close to where he was.

Sebastian sharpened his vision, the bookshelf hid a girl who now bent down to pick up her books. The position of the two was a blessing for him: the sight of striking green panties greeted him. Quite a sight.

The girl kept crawling to pick up all the scattered books. Something she was whispering, but Sebastian didn't give her enough interest. His attention was fixed on those high socks squeezing her thighs. The sight was enchanting and more so because she was swaying as she picked up each book without realizing she had a shameless onlooker.

Sebastian wondered how hard it would be to agree to such a fuck. Desperate bitches don't usually go to the library. Maybe she'd just be an easy-to-win bimbo. A couple of nice words and he'd have her in the bag. An hour locked up with her and I'd come home with that cute pair of green panties tucked in my pocket.

Those panties that fit those lips perfectly, Sebastian could run his fingers down the middle of those pretty legs and hear her let out good girl squeals. He could rip that fabric and fuck the girl in the middle of those soft couches while the stranger struggles not to scream. Maybe force her to bite the fabric of her panties to keep her quiet while he fucks her ass in the nearest bathroom.

He placed his hand above his fly, settling the future problem between his pants. This was no time to make a scene.

Sebastian moved back into the position of innocent reader when he saw the young woman shake out the bottom of her skirt with the intention of getting up. Perhaps, when she passed in front of him, Sebastian would catch her eye. A good conversation, a couple of compliments, nothing would make him happier than to feel what he could only taste with his eyes.

—Hi Sebastian, studying again?

Shit.

—Hi MC, you know me.

Fantasizing about his best friend he's known since the fifth year of high school is not a source of pride for Sebastian, this could become a problem if he doesn't undo that mental image right then and there. It was just a silly thing, no green panties and short skirts, just a misunderstanding.

—Sebastian, are you all right?

In an ancient era, he would be a man of honor who would not accept false advances. He would stand up, absolutely spotless, and say something like, "Splendid, my dear, never been better," and then walk far away without looking back. But this is the modern era and men don't have as many social skills as they used to.

Stupid modern era.

[thoseyoulove]

Reacting to The Vampire Lestat - Part V (with a bit of spoilers and maybe important quotes?)

Armand!

YAY!

Okay, what the hell is happening?

??????

Seriously, WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?

Am I lost because I'm reading the Brazilian Portuguese version and maybe it's not properly translated?

*Downloads an English PDF copy* Yeah, this isn't much better and it looks like it was poorly transcript.

I'm still not sure I'm following...

Well

Whatever

I still like this anyway?

Also, I can see I'll have to read at least this book twice anyway. Maybe more or even the whole chronicles.

Because since Armand showed up I'm DEVOURING this and I can see myself maybe missing a few details... I'll need to read it slower and savor it in the future. I also assume that knowing more of the lore will give me perspective on a future read.

Armand is never boring.

Still my favorite character. :) Let's hope nothing ever ruins that. :) /hj

Not one Lesmand/Armandstat interaction is wasted tbh, I don't care if they're vibing or hating each other's guts, they're always A MOMENT™.

Let's hope nothing ever ruins that. :) /hj

They also have some pretty valid and intriguing conversations, really.

The impression I get is that they want to stay close, but deep down know it's better not to because they're so messed-up and would be even more messed-up as friends or else (and maybe it's the or at least one of the reasons why they attract each other?), but there's some frustration in that acknowledgement too. Like, doing something because you should is not the same as doing it because you want to and... Well.

I mean, there's more I could say, but this is the short version of how I generally feel about them lol.

Can't wait to see all of this on season 3.

Assad is right, I want Armand to be unhinged too. So glad we're on the same page about all thigs Armand ever and that the spirit of Armand posses Assad on a daily basis so he can play him 100% the way I imagine him. SMILING THROUGH IT ALL, CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS MY LIFE RN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm also ready for more Lestat (Armand's version) and finally some Armand (Lestat's version). Let the battle begin. I wonder who will be more insufferable.

Little bit of Armand's back story. :/ I wanna put him in a bubble.

I don't really think I'll be interested in Marius, tbh.

Anyway... He's not here yet.

Gabrielle jumps from roofs like Cat Woman and Armand quickly and silently vanishes from places like Batman. I hope we keep the Gotham-esque vibes of these scenes. I think it's super cool tbh.

I also love seeing Armand talking to people telepathically? Feels so much deeper and kind of poetic, idk. Not to mention is such a cool concept. I hope the show explores more of that.

Also, when he stops blocking his thoughts and let's someone peek at his thoughts it feels intimate? And not necessarily romantic or anything like that, but just like, "hey, this is a little piece of my soul, I'm sharing it with you". Or maybe I'm too romantic and trying to find the beauty in everything lol.

But then he finally speaks out loud and it feels deeper and more meaningful as well? I don't know. Maybe I'm becoming insane.

Lestat went like 3 pages without mentioning Armand's beauty. I'm proud of him.

Nevermind, now he is mentioning it 50 times per sentence. Even more than he did before. It's like he regretted it and it's making up for lost time lmao.

Some of the words Lestat has used to describe Armand so far: beautiful, sublime, ethereal, exquisite, perfect, soft, saint, angel (there's more, but it's been so many synonyms for beautiful I can't remember... still, you get the point). Not to mention comparing him to a Caravaggio and Da Vinci paintings.

I feel like he'll run out of words to describe him pretty soon.

I guess we all feel pretty (not) normal about Armand.

This is also ruining it for me, because if someone doesn't describe me as "irresistibly beautiful" then what is even the point, really...

And it's not like they're a couple or anything, SO??? STOP!!!

They're not lovers, they're not friends, they're not enemies, they're a fourth and more sinister thing that not even them can classify, let alone my mere mortal self.

Anyway, I hope Lestat will be even more annoying describing Louis. He set the bar too high now.

I wonder if Louis appears (for a significant amount of time) on this book.

I hope so, but I don't know.

"But I was so glad it was finished. So glad that we could go on. Yet I held to the bars for a long time just looking at the distant woods, and the dim glow far beyond that the city made upon the lowering clouds. And the grief I felt was not only for the loss of him, it was for Nicki, and for Paris, and for myself." This is sad...

"So let him be your patron saint if you need it" LMFAOOOOOO.

Is Gabrielle wrong, though?

NO, SHE ISN'T!

Just have fun with your immortality instead of going on an uncertain quest to find Marius? Stop being stupid???

You'll probably just find danger or disappointment. Or both.

LISTEN TO THE VOICE OF REASON, LESTAT!

"And the sense of grief came back to me, the realization that we were really going, that it was finished with Nicolas and finished with the Children of Darkness and their leader, and I wouldn't see Paris again, or anything familiar to me, for years and years. And for all my desire to be free, I wanted to weep." So, he finally starts making a life for himself away from his abusive family. Then, he is forcefully turned into a vampire, has to live this double life with mortals, without ever being able to be completely open, honest and have real, deep relationships with them. Later, he turns Gabrielle, Nicki, meets Armand and the other of his kind, but they're all so troubled or with completely different interests... And it's clear as a day that they can't stay together anymore, he's slowly coming to the realization he's losing everything and everyone he knows and will soon be alone again... I'm (not) fine.

Also, this is so BPD-coded of him. He's had these pretty sad and traumatic moments, but he never allowed himself to feel those emotions for too long, he always found stuff to distract himself with, tried to see the "the good side" of things, embrace them, be positive instead etc, but you can only ignore it so much until it becomes such a big problem you can't possibly avoid anymore. And then the emotion hits 9483958345x harder than it would have if you processed things properly and had better coping mechanisms. Like, I get him, but OMG. Get him some vampire therapist.

Btw, Armand feels pretty BPD-coded too.

I also heard somewhere that Armand is a Scorpio?

And Lestat is another BPD Scorpio...

That would explain A LOT actually lmao.

End of "The Vampire Armand" chapter and they're parting ways.

So I guess I'll just rot and die, then?

Or...

...Armand will return in the worst possible way lmao.

I tried to find a gif of 2x05 saying "everything is fine!" to represent how I'm feeling right now, but failed, so consider it done anyway. Everything is (not) fine!

[lurkingshan]

Step by Step Missed Some Steps

Welp, here we are at the end of this show. And it sure did have a finale! That was indeed an episode 12.

Look pals, I’ve been clear about the fact that this show went off the rails for me in the final stretch. The finale didn’t change my view on that, unfortunately — it was, in my opinion, not a good episode of television and not a particularly coherent ending to this story. The time skip served little purpose in terms of character development and as one final hilarious pacing joke, Pat is still somehow 26! But we did get some nice domestic fanfic vignettes and one last bed scene as a parting gift, which was cool of them. I am a simple woman and I was in fact happy to get 30 uninterrupted minutes of domestic relationship fluff. Would I have liked it if the fluff had a stronger connection to an ongoing emotional arc? Sure would, but with this drama I’ve learned we really can’t have it all.   

In the spirit of giving this show a fair assessment while also not repeating myself too much or belaboring my criticism, I’m just gonna do a quick rundown of what its attempted big themes were and how successful I thought they were with each major thread, now that we’ve seen the full thing. Shoutout to @waitmyturtles and @neuroticbookworm for talking this through with me and keeping me sane the last few weeks, as well as @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle, @williamrikers, @wen-kexing-apologist, @colourme-feral, @bengiyo, @colourme-feral and @sunshinesanctuary, all of whom wrote posts I have linked here. This is going to be a critical analysis so if you want to just vibe and bask in the cute feel free to skip reading. :)

The slow burn that never caught fire  

Let’s just get this out of the way. This show failed on the romance writing. They did a nine episode slow burn then fumbled the emotional payoff, tacked on a traditional four-act-structure breakup that didn’t fit, and had the wrong person apologize in the final reunion scene. There may have been a lot of sex, but the emotional arc for these two was incoherent and dissatisfying in the end, and I saw nothing in their reunion scene that explained to me why I was supposed to believe they would suddenly be a functional and happy couple. You gotta actually do that character work to sell it, not just tack on some cute epilogue scenes where they are suddenly healthier without showing me how they got there. 

But thank goodness for Man and Ben, because they still managed to salvage something out of this mess on the strength of their chemistry alone. I thank them for their service, and I will always treasure the bittersweet arc of those first nine episodes and the exquisite angst of Jeng’s lonely pining. That was good shit. 

Pat’s emotional maturity and character growth

Speaking of having the wrong person apologize in the reunion scene, this might actually be the thing I am most frustrated about. I’ve had a somewhat rocky road with Pat in this show, but I’ve wanted to believe in the arguments that his emotional inconsistency was intentional and leading us to some major character development for him. The show almost pulled it out in the final arc and got somewhere on this theme, but they blew it on the dismount. 

Because all the ingredients were right there on the table. In episode 11, we saw Pat finally come into his own, both at work and in his relationships. We saw him succeed at work, we saw him grow more confident, we saw him draw firm boundaries, and we saw him call both Put and Jeng on their bullshit. We saw him walk away from these toxic relationships that weren’t serving him, and we were on his side. The finale even opens with him thriving in his new business with Chot! It was a little weird that the show had him suddenly being besties with Put given where we left them in episode 11 (I could see a way for that to happen but the show, as ever, did not do the work and hand waved it away with a time skip, so no points from me) but that’s fairly easy to overlook as long as it serves his arc. When the finale opens our boy is doing well for himself—he has become a successful businessman in his own right—which you would expect to also come with some advancement in his emotional maturity. In those early scenes he seems like he’s finally got a handle on things. 

Except that crumbles the moment he sees Jeng again, and he instantly regresses into the same insecure, emotionally erratic, weak-willed youth he was before. We see him repeat all of his old patterns (to the point where it felt almost like intentional callbacks to his scenes from earlier in the series, but that would be such a weird thing to do in this context). He begins doubting himself, he loses emotional control and sobs into his dad’s shoulder, he gets wasted and makes a public spectacle of himself, he randomly decides to get back with an ex who wronged him, and he apologizes to Jeng for standing up for himself and ending their relationship when Jeng was the one entirely in the wrong and has done no work to change anything about his situation or earn Pat’s forgiveness.

And so rather than enjoying the reunion, I was mad when I was watching this scene. Flames on the side of my face. I have no idea what the writer was thinking when they crafted this ass backwards reunion scene, but it did double damage in that it put the final nail in the coffin for two of the show’s major arcs. Impressive in its own way, I suppose! 

Filial piety and Jeng’s family expectations  

This one truly just has me scratching my head. It feels like they simply…didn’t finish this part of the show? Because they’ve been telling me for 11 episodes that Jeng is broken and crumbling under the weight of his responsibilities to his father’s company (well, if I’m honest, they’ve only been telling us that explicitly for a few episodes, because for the first two-thirds of the show they were telling us he loves his work, but I’m trying to go with fandom interpretations of subtext here) but that he couldn’t simply walk away from this job because he is the eldest son and must fulfill his obligations of filial piety. And that a big part of the reason he fucked things up with Pat was because of that enormous pressure he was under, and he would have to face that and make things right.

So what happened in the finale to continue this storyline? Absolutely nothing! After a two year time skip in which nothing in Jeng’s work or family life changed, Pat randomly decides everything was his fault, actually, and he wants to get back together, and then Jeng simply walks away from this job. Casually strolls into his dad’s office and hands in a resignation letter like it ain’t no thing in a very short, very oddly toned scene in which his dad just kind of shrugs and then tosses the letter in the bin. Jeng even mentions in the next scene with Pat that his dad’s reaction was bizarre. And that’s it! That’s the end of that plot. We go through a bunch more time skips and Jeng did in fact leave that job, nothing else happens, the end. 

And look, I’m on record as feeling like this version of Jeng that was so broken he couldn’t see his way out of this situation or be a decent partner to Pat emerged in episode 10 largely out of nowhere, but the show took us down this path, so they needed to stand by it and finish the story. But they didn’t bother. Jeng “I intend to improve myself” Kittipong Attajiranon did nothing of the sort (at least not on screen where we could see it) in either his professional or personal life. Instead his problems just magically solved themselves and we time skipped through him becoming more stable. What am I to make of that? Guess we’ll never know!

Whatever the heck that was with Jaab and Jen

I feel like for this section I should just insert that meme of the blonde lady trying to work out incomprehensible equations, because that’s what it feels like trying to figure out what the point of this storyline was. Jaab appeared on screen in this finale for about two minutes, and Jen didn’t appear at all. The show doesn’t even bother to tell us if they’re together already or if Jaab is going to Japan to try to win Jen back (even though they previously told us he’d be back from Japan by this time), and neither of them is even mentioned again.

For this, they ate up a ton of real estate in the penultimate episode? Make it make sense!

Perils of the closet and homophobia in the workplace

Let’s end this on a positive note, shall we? This is the theme I do think came through most clearly, and they almost pulled it off (but not quite thanks to the baffling end of Jeng’s work and family arc).

We saw Pat and Jeng and Chot all deal with various forms of the closet and homophobia throughout the show. We saw the way that Chot’s partner being closeted with his family hurt Chot, and the relief he felt when he was finally able to be fully open with his love. We saw how Put’s fears about being out with his career hurt Pat. We saw how Jeng’s parents did not fully accept him and how he consequently struggled to be his authentic self at work. We saw Pat express his discomfort with the way media companies exploit queerness for monetary gain. We saw Pat get caught up in an online scandal when his relationships with Jeng and Put were exposed. We saw how all of these gay men were put in the position of working for executives who saw their sexuality as a problem to be crisis managed and a bargaining chip to threaten them with.

And in the finale we got to see Pat and Chot flourishing in their own company, where their queerness was an asset and not a problem, and where they got to set their own rules about how they wanted to work and who they wanted to work with. We got to see Jeng focus on the job he loves most in a setting where he can be his authentic self. Everybody has found a better work life balance. And we got to see all of them happy and in love and thriving. And even though the way they got there didn’t always feel earned, at least we can say they got a beautiful ending free of those burdens.  

As a final note, I just want to say how fun it’s been to watch this show along with y’all. We didn’t always agree, but the discussion was always interesting and the experience brought me a lot of joy. The show yeeted itself off a cliff for me in the final stretch but I will always remember the watch experience fondly and y'all will have to pry Man away from my cold dead hands. Onward to the next drama!

[vwritesaus]

how do you think Anna and her parents relationship will be post Christopher death? And if you think Gabriel and Cecily will have a strain on their relationship toward each other due the loss of a child

~

this is such an interesting question, and one i've been wondering about myself for quite some time. thank you for sending it in, anon!!

i think anna would still be close with her parents. we see that relationship in every exquisite thing and i don't think it would change here. if anything, i believe christopher's death would bring them even closer together. it would be a challenge for sure, making the same old jokes and expecting christopher to be there to laugh or question them with profound logic only to be faced with silence, or looking over at the place at the table where he would have once sat and finding it empty (ow). but they would overcome it together.

not to mention alexander. he's only a child when his big brother suddenly goes away, and while shadowhunters are used to death from a young age, blahblahblah, he'd still feel the loss and not understand it properly?? it would be extremely taxing for anna and gabrily, especially once alexander starts having tantrums because he just doesn't get why christopher isn't there anymore. i imagine they would come up with ways to a) handle those tantrums and b) strategies to help alexander overcome the confusion and handle the loss while still being able to remember his older brother as he grows up. i don't think anna would leave that to her parents alone, even with her and ari going to india at the end of chot. she'd be in frequent contact (in my opinion, anyway. and i reckon ari would have something to say about it too).

as for gabriel and cecily's marriage...

i base this off a couple i know irl who lost their eldest daughter to an aggressive illness that ailed her for most of her teenage and young adult life before she passed away.

there would be a strain at first and both of them would find it extremely difficult to talk about christopher with each other. they would comfort each other, yes. they will cry with each other, yes. but the way they deal with and experience grief is very different (and i touched on this a little bit in the latest chapter of my fic dear christopher). gabriel would want to talk about it, and he strikes me as the type to process his feelings through discussion. cecily normally would too, but in this situation? she completely shuts down. gabriel would be at a bit of a loss but is respectful, and cecily wants to find in herself the will to talk about it, but her mind and body say otherwise.

that said, they would talk about it with other people. gabriel would run to gideon, and cecily to sophie. given their families grew up together, it's impossible to assume that they all don't have a very close relationship with each other. their children certainly had close relationships with one another. thomas and christopher is self-explanatory. we also see how close anna and thomas are in canon (that one scene in choi where thomas sneaks out and anna catches him in the act lives rent free in my mind fr), and anna with eugenia, which would have extended to barbara too. i also believe they're close with their aunts and uncles (thomas and cecily, for instance).

not to mention the fact that gideon and sophie get it. they lost a child too.

gabriel and cecily would talk about christopher, and gideon and sophie about barbara.

also will would definitely be a huge support. cecily wouldn't need to say much to will for him to understand (even though he'd love for her to open up to him fully), and despite their differences when they were kids, he would look out for gabriel too. gabriel and will's friendship is another kettle of fish that i won't delve into here, but it would certainly play a huge role.

and i don't think the marriage will fall apart. it's definitely a changed marriage, but it wouldn't fall apart. they have alexander and anna, and a huge family support network, as i mentioned above.

losing a child has a ripple effect on a relationship, and it's those first couple of years that are the most horrible. and it's not something that will ever go away. with the irl couple, every year around their daughter's birthday and death anniversary, they leave the city. they travel the country as a means to deal with the crushing loss. i'm not saying gabriel and cecily would do that, but it's certainly something they would feel.

they'll argue. they'll cry together. they'll have sleepless nights. they'll raise alexander together. they'll keep an eye on anna together. they'll reminiscence about their son alone or with their family members. they'll spend time apart while being in the same house. they'll be glued to each other's sides. they'll shut down. they'll be silent. they'll become stronger. they'll never move on exactly, but they'll learn how to handle the loss and live with it, because christopher, though no longer with us, will not be forgotten </3

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 7: The Expanse 1x04

Why would you introduce my beautiful wife Captain Yao just to kill her one episode later??? I will riot in the streets.

Seriously, I really was like immediately attached to her, in a way I haven’t been to any other character in this show yet, and I was all ready for her to be a fave and now she’s gone. Truly a disappointment. Also it makes me kind of annoyed that Cop 2 is still alive because while I had no particular issues with him, having him be surprise alive in the same ep as another, worse, more definitive death… so sad for me specifically.

Second thought: my favorite parts of this show are the world building sections and my least favorite are the action sequences. All the tense life-or-death-situation scenes are really boring to me still. I mean admittedly action is not my genre in general but something about the action scenes in this show just seem particularly… flat, for some reason? I just feel no intensity and no urgency about them at all and I honestly kind of zoned out through them. In this ep, I’m talking specifically about the crew stopping up the wholes in the prison cell, and the run to the escape ship during gunfire.

But the world building is exquisite. I’m really into all the information we’re getting on Mars and how they see Earth—and themselves. Every new bit of information is simultaneously exciting and surprising and unpredictable, and also fits in perfectly with all of the other information, providing an overall picture of the society that feels coherent and real. And this even though we’ve seen very few Martian characters and not yet seen their home world at all.

I was also really excited about all the tech in the dead guy that the detectives were examining (as a side note, probably shouldn’t get attached to her, and I still don’t entirely get what she does, but Octavia is growing on me a lot). It sort of reminded me of Dollhouse in its future episodes except the tech was spread throughout the body instead of being mind-focused. Like, body mods, even data storage as part of the body mods, isn’t a NEW idea but it’s an idea I LIKE and I appreciated how they were developing it here. Also the term ‘gear head.’

I did not really get what was happening with the shootout in the corridor of the Donninger, which ended with that guy getting his arm blown off and then it just healed itself. Part of this is that as soon as the shoot out started I zoned out entirely because as I said, I just cannot care. So I probably missed important information. I think…he was one of the people who boarded the ship? One of the mystery antagonists? His space suit was different than the red-faced Martian ones. But they also called him a mole? Maybe? And something about a weapon that wouldn’t be able to fire. I probably should have rewatched the scene but I wanted to keep going. I also don’t know what it meant that his arm healed itself right away but based on the expression on Holden’s face, I think that’s supposed to be a mystery.

As far as I can tell, the mystery antagonists are OPA-aligned (based on the scene where the guy kicked all the Mormons off the ship he was building, and also the stuff with the guy being tortured in the first couple episodes) but there’s something Extra about them. The arm-healing thing, for one. Maybe it’s Mormon tech? LMAO.

Oh, just remembered. Another thing I like about the world building on this show is how normal Earth looks. Like clearly this is far in the future and there’s a lot of new tech and so on and so forth, and Earth from a distance looks quite different as well, with the degree to which it’s been built up at least in major cities—but it’s not all sleek futuristic houses or minimalism or just sweeping amounts of shiny new advanced entertainment etc. The houses are just houses, the clothes are just clothes, the people still read books and talk about dinosaurs. It makes everything feel more real and believable, and sort of helps ground the (sometimes very far out) worlds of this possible future with the actual world.

I was surprised by the insta-jump to found family among Holden and the crew. His insistence he needed to get back to ‘his people’ was a little meh for me, which I KNOW is completely unfair. The show has objectively earned the right to have him be protective of them, after their recent adventures and given that they’re the last survivors of their ship. But most of what we’ve seen from them has just been infighting… it’s hard for me to feel yet like they actually like each other and would be so deeply loyal. Meh. I don’t know. At least the most annoying of them has bitten the dust. I am not sad about it.

Also WHY are there so many Mormons? Are they like really important or is this just an extensive riff off a sort of joke (even in the future and even in space, white men in suits will try to evangelize you)?

[wellntruly]

M*A*S*H - Viewguide, S10

Are you interested in the long-running anti-war situation tragicomedy M*A*S*H (1972-1983), but there are simply so many asterisks and so many episodes?

Well I can’t help you with the asterisks, but nor can I help myself: I started watching all 11 seasons of M*A*S*H, and bringing back for you my viewing selections, chosen for The Qualities.

— — —

Hiiiiiii guuuyys. So something new has happened, here in the tenth season. Her name is Karen Hall. Who is Karen Hall? Well I've looked into this: a young writer Alan Alda met in a workshop he was teaching, was like, uh, you rock totally, pulls a Daniel Craig on James Bond, and gets M*A*S*H to hire her for last season's ‘Father’s Day’ (none for Margaret's dad with left beef). This season, she’s got four more scripts, and her name is on every episode as the series' new story editor. I kept thinking I was seeing “Karen Han” and going, well of course Karen would freak this, and the thing is that sentence is still right: Karen freaks this. Season 10!!!! My favorite season since Season 6?? Itself my favorite since Seasons 2-3??

And just one more (!) after this, oh my gOD....

M*A*S*H - Season 10 Recommended sequence

10x01-02 ’That’s Show Biz: Parts 1 and 2’ - A U.S.O. troupe gets stuck at the MASH for a couple days, and unlike all the other two-parters they’ve done, this one really uses the pace of having a full hour, seeding so many elliptical details and unexplained behaviors that they are in no hurry to answer just yet. It gives these two an intriguing depth. Also: former burlesque dancer played by GWEN VERDON. Aah-aah-aaaah!!

10x06 ‘Wheelers and Dealers’ - I’m including this one for two reasons. 1) Rizzo, whom I don’t believe I’ve featured yet, and when he’s in the pocket, boy does this raspy Bayou weirdo make me laugh. And 2), I *think* this is gonna prove the last big blow-out finale of BJ being such a jerk to everyone over his family, and we definitely should go out with the bang that is Margaret tearing into him with a perfect diatribe that’s been two seasons coming. Cathartic! And then this seemingly clears the way to shift gears, or change roads, whatever episode-apt vehicle metaphor you want, and set us now humming along the rest of this season with pretty much exactly the BJ I would have expected we’d have at this point when I was in Season 5 or 6: tall mid-tempo California-goofy sweetie who mostly does actually like other people, including his Army-issued boyfriend.

10x07 ‘Communication Breakdown’ - Like, to wit: very next episode, BJ’s slow adorable amazed grin to the mess ceiling at Charles showing his whole ass over the PA (foreshadowing) had me, confusingly, going: [Trapper voice] Hawkeye, I think I’m in love. It’s another Karen/Alan co-pro, baby, and Season 10 is now really kicking OFF.

10x10 ‘’Twas the Day After Christmas’ - Two visiting Englishmen straight out of WWI Britfluence Colonel Potter into adopting their topsy-turvy Boxing Day tradition of having the enlisted ranks swap roles with the officers, and oho, are they also All SO COLD about it, and oho are they doing [short shaky exhale] this:

10x10 you mean 10/10?

10x11 ‘Follies of the Living - Concerns of the Dead’ - The ‘Written & Directed By Alan Alda’ contribution this season is this Distant Voices, Still Lives ass title (affectionate) heading the episode where Klinger has a fever and is seeing ghosts. HIGH degree of difficulty on this one, my good friend, and for the first part I was like, maybe?, and then we get to the dead soldier hanging out with Margaret in Furious & Marvelous mode, and then the best drinking scene this show has ever done. The pitchest black wry comedy, mostly just gutting. Mostly just exquisite.

10x12 ‘The Birthday Girls’ - Outrageously boyfriends Hawkeye & BJ are trying to become cow fathers, while Margaret & Klinger finally get their mandated bond in adverse conditions outside of camp arc and are like, we have been waiting for your call. Riotous and sweet with an ass script that won’t quit, it's Karen Hall’s ‘The Birthday Girls’, [opening locket meme] my Beloved. ❤️

10x13 ‘Blood and Guts’ - The fact that the villain is a misleading writer is honestly so tasty for this show to do.

10x14 ‘A Holy Mess’ - A riveting turn that features a sort of semantic legal battle around religious sanctuary (COOL), but above all, this is an episode about eggs. Talking about eggs, thinking about eggs, the consuming drama of how the eggs will prepared....this is what I meant about riveting.

10x17 ‘Where There’s a Will, There’s a War’ - Sorry to end a second season list in a row with an aid station episode (and third season I've done this overall), but just, my GOD, take this—

Charles: “I hope you manage to stay beautiful until Pierce gets back to see you.” BJ, sudden quiet dread: “Back from where?”

and go, go!!!!

Season 1 • Season 2 • Season 3 • Season 4 • Season 5 • Season 6 • Season 7 • Season 8 • Season 9 • Season 10 • To be continued

#M*A*S*H hours

[wooseokkies]

연애대전 / love to hate you (2023): ramblings and thoughts

alright, this has been loooong overdue — my thoughts (and screams) on the kdrama, love to hate you (2023), that aired on netflix.

<opinions and thoughts are purely personal>

honestly, I was in a bad kdrama slump after extraordinary attorney woo ended — I only completed a couple of dramas since then (under the queen's umbrella - ahh, another drama I have thoughts about; and curtain call - or at least those were the two that I remember the most). and, I was really itching to watch something lighthearted and fun, and boy,,, love to hate you hit all the right notes from the get go.

it's such a classic romcom with all the classic (read: cliche) tropes — enemies to lovers, fake dating / dating contract, guy and girl who start out not believing in love but fall in love anyway — you name it. they really packed all the favourites into one drama, and I can attest, believe it or not, that it was really the right move.

for starters, the chemistry between the male and female leads is exquisite. to me, romcoms are only as good as the chemistry between the two leads — the push-pull effect needs to be spot on, because the whole drama literally revolves around their love life. and I'm so glad that love to hate you did just that for me (and many others too, as I have read). their ages are compatible, their visuals, their personalities (albeit only surfacing in later episodes), but what really sealed the deal for me was their compatibility on what's beneath the surface — their push factor into their relationship, and their aligned goals/values.

and it may have seemed superficial at first glance — the fact that they both start off rolling their eyes at any hint of romance, because both parties had been so put off by their previous relationships that their views on the opposite sex are far beyond warped. but honestly, I think that it's not unrealistic; I myself have seen people similar to their characters, and it's probably far more common than we think it is. but what I truly liked was that the script didn't unnecessary prolong that hot/cold period between Kangho and Miran, and their progress was pretty satisfying to watch too; they both got over the 'dating contract' bit quite early on and thus, this gave enough airtime for their actual dating phase (which ahhh!! I sooo appreciate as a viewer). on the contrary, I find that many other romcoms drag out the hot/cold phase a lil too long, cutting the exciting dating bits short :(

and since we're on the topic of their relationship dynamics — I thought that as a whole, what kept viewers on their toes were the abundant (hahaha) skinship scenes (I actually feel so shy saying this but well, it is what it is). and they were always fresh and through those scenes, we got to see a lil bit more of their relationship progress as a whole (and more importantly, how Miran's view on men shifts subtly but surely the more time she spent with Kangho).

Another thing I absolutely loved was how soft and caring Kangho was towards Miran, even when their relationship was still under the monetary contract. it was obvious that he had fallen first, and fallen hard, and i appreciated (loved) that he wasn't afraid to show it. those lovely moments at the movie set, their hugs, brief hand touches, the way he makes an effort to take care of her well being — it's kinda a breath of fresh air from the romcom department (for me, at least); I really loved that it was clear that those actions weren't really borne out of the need to spite other parties (ie. his ex-girlfriend). I thought that Kangho's character was genuine and likeable, and a simp on the inside (hehe), which led to Miran's guard being slowly let down.

I squealed (!!!) when she said "I love you" to him,,,, ahhhh T_T

anyway, moving on, I kinda expected there to be that tiny angsty part, as they always have in these genres of shows. that tiny bump in their relationship, which has a sole purpose of allowing them personal space and to feel what it's like to not have the other party by their side. soooo I guess that phase wasn't tooo bad to wait out, for me. their reunion was so adorable though,,, hehe, giggled so bad lol.

lots on Kangho and Miran, but I also loved the second pair's relationship and dynamics. quite different from the first pair, but also unique in its own right. honestly as we reached the later episodes, I thought that they were really done for, but I'm glad to see that they got their happy ending too!!

last but not least, special honorary mention for the Gilmu squad; the bromance between Miran's ex-boyfriend and colleague got me GOOD 😆 we love to see blossoming romance in the workplace, yes!! I love Kim Sungryoung's character too; honestly NOT expecting that act of sacrifice / benevolence from her at the end but :"") such good friendship there. loved her dynamics with Miran too — big LOLs from their scenes together, always cracks me up.

and okay, I'm gonna have to stop myself before this gets unwieldy, but honestly, this drama has got to be one of the best!! (k) romcoms I have seen ever. so do give this a go if you have not already, and I promise you won't regret it!!

(also, Kim Okvin is SOOOO pretty, I really love her kickass vibes and natural visuals — I somehow feel like she's similar to Yeo Miran in real life hehe. as for Yoo Teo... I don't think he needs any explanation 🔥 잘생겼다!!!)

let me know your thoughts on this show!! I'd love to chat :)

[goshdangronpa]

I'm gonna ask you about Belladonna of Sadness because i'm curious and want to read your ramble 🧡

Yeees. My other passion besides Danganronpa is movies, so I'll be happy to write a few hundred words about one of my absolute favorites. Please excuse my lateness in answering this ask, I waited until I saw it again recently.

Belladonna of Sadness looks like no Japanese animated film you've ever seen, and not just because they did things differently in 1974. This film is unusual, and might be jarring, because much of it isn't even actually animated. There's liberal use of still images. Lip movement is nonexistent. Several shots see the camera panning across a lengthy tableu, sometimes for a couple of minutes.

But it doesn't feel cheap. The limited budget meets its match in the filmmakers' boundless imagination, creating an extraordinary work of art that challenges all definitions of a motion picture. Besides, like any good anime, they save most of their money and effort for the big setpieces. It's in these impressive animated setpieces that the movie comes alive.

These scenes are not exactly YouTube-friendly. Belladonna of Sadness is steeped in sex and sexuality. Though it starts with a fairy-tale wedding between French medieval peasants Jeanne and Jean, the movie makes its R-rated nature known in the immediate next scene, when the local lord invokes prima nocta and takes the lead in a gangbang of the bride. She returns home shattered, but finds unexpected joy in a friendly little sprite ... who turns out to be the Devil, feeding on her newfound desire for power. She gains influence in her village, loses it dramatically when it threatens the lord's power, and regains it in the wilderness after finally submitting to Satan. Much of this is conveyed through the lens of sex.

Belladonna of Sadness can be a harrowing watch. While the aforementioned rape scene isn't graphic, it's arguably worse in being impressionistic, presenting the physical and psychological trauma through imagery that's just barely metaphorical. But that's at the beginning of the movie. As Jeanne's life continues, along with her connection to the Devil, she grows to realize that she wants power, autonomy, freedom. This path sees her become a benevolent witch, miraculous healer, and sex goddess who gets the whole village in her thrall. Dismal scenes give way to exquisitely vibrant and psychedelic animation, including more than one orgy scene.

I don't know how much any of these words have done to recommend the film. It doesn't help that I can't find any real clips on YouTube (besides the inspired, tear-jerking, beautiful ending), and it's so hard to screencap (the Devil's design is ... phallic). What I can say is that eight years ago, I invited my crush - a close friend who loves anime - to catch the theatrical rerelease of this movie with me. Our hands touched the whole time, side by side, none daring to go further. We soon confessed, and that friend is now the love of my life. Every year on our anniversary, we watch Belladonna of Sadness ... maybe the least likely first date flick to result in a second one.

And even without that personal connection, I believe I'd still deeply admire it. The singular and brilliant approach to animation, the richly told story of rebuilding after sexual trauma, the incredible feminist philosophy ... I hope that if anyone reading this gives it a chance, they'd admire it too.

[mediaevalmusereads]

From Hell. By Alan Moore and Eddie Campbell. Top Shelf, 2006 (originally 1989-1998).

Rating: 3/5

Genre: graphic novel, crime noir/horror

Series: N/A

Summary: Having proved himself peerless in the arena of reinterpreting superheroes, Alan Moore turned his ever-incisive eye to the squalid, enigmatic world of Jack the Ripper and the Whitechapel murders of 1888. Weighing in at 576 pages, From Hell is certainly the most epic of Moore's works and remarkably and is possibly his finest effort yet in a career punctuated by such glorious highlights as Watchmen and V for Vendetta. Going beyond the myriad existing theories, which range from the sublime to the ridiculous, Moore presents an ingenious take on the slaughter. His Ripper's brutal activities are the epicentre of a conspiracy involving the very heart of the British Establishment, including the Freemasons and The Royal Family. A popular claim, which is transformed through Moore's exquisite and thoroughly gripping vision, of the Ripper crimes being the womb from which the 20th century, so enmeshed in the celebrity culture of violence, received its shocking, visceral birth.

Bolstered by meticulous research that encompasses a wide spectrum of Ripper studies and myths and coupled with his ability to evoke sympathies in such monstrous characters, Moore has created perhaps the finest examination of the Ripper legacy, observing far beyond society's obsessive need to expose Evil's visage. Ultimately, as Moore observes, Jack's identity and his actions are inconsequential to the manner in which society embraced the Fear: "It's about us. It's about our minds and how they dance. Jack mirrors our hysterias. Faceless, he is the receptacle for each new social panic."

***Full review below.***

CONTENT WARNINGS: misogyny, antisemitism, nudity, blood, gore, violence, graphic sexual content, incest, racism/xenophobia

OVERVIEW: I was a bit disappointed by the last thing I read about a historical serial killer, so I figured I'd finally pick this book up in an attempt to read something more thought-provoking. I have a lot of respect for Alan Moore, so I went into this with high hopes and high expectations. Unfortunately, I can't say this is among my favorites of Moore's work. While the art was quite impressive and I appreciated the supplemental materials included in the Top Shelf 2006 edition, I just wasn't blown away by Moore's Ripper story. So for those reasons, this book only gets 3 stars from me.

WRITING/ART: There isn't much prose, per se, in this graphic novel, so I'll use this space to primarily talk about Campbell's art.

Overall, I was actually quite impressed by the art. Campbell draws with a scratchy, sketchy style with a lot of messy lines. Personally, I was reminded somewhat of Victorian-era engravings, though Campell's art is a lot looser. Campbell's art really shines, I think, when depicting architecture and London scenery. Because the artist uses a lot of straight lines for things like tone and shading, the build environment comes across as more controlled and deliberate than his organic forms, and I very much enjoyed the scenes with a lot of buildings in them.

PLOT: The plot of this graphic novel primarily tells the story of William Gull, Royal Physician to Queen Victoria and her family. When Prince Albert Victor marries a common shop girl and fathers a child on her, Victoria enlists Gull's help to silence those who know about it: namely four women who are looking to use the information to their advantage. Little does Victoria know that Gull is a Freemason with cosmic visions of time and space; Gull also believes that murdering these women will bring about a future in which women's power is suppressed. His fanatic killing leqds the papers to dub him "Jack the Ripper." Meanwhile, Inspector Abberline tries to uncover Jack's identity, all while being undermined by those in Scotland Yard who are in league with Victoria and Gull.

Personally, I was not very impressed by the plot as a whole. Having Jack the Ripper be a Freemason with delusions about time and space wasn't as thought-provoking as I had hoped, and even linking the Royal Family to the killings didn't have quite the punch as I wanted. Perhaps I'm not understanding Moore's intention or else I'm just not all that impressed by conspiracy theories and Freemasons; whatever the reason, I didn't quite think about the Ripper killings in a new way or use them as a lens for reinterpreting other aspects of politics, history, gender, etc. If anything, Moore seems interested in the concept of time, but I'm puzzled by the decision to use the Ripper murders as the vehicle for exploring this.

Also (and this is a minor complaint), the amount of random sexual content in this graphic novel was a little off-putting. While some sexual content is understandable, i felt like some was inserted for edgy shock value, and I got tired of it after a while.

But even though I wasn't a big fan of the story, I very much appreciated the annotations included in the back of the book. The annotations talk extensively about the creative choices and the historical context, and I found them to be a useful tool for analyzing the narrative.

CHARACTERS: There are quite a few characters in this book so I'll only focus on a handful, for brevity.

William Gull (the Royal Physician and Jack the Ripper) was not very interesting, in my opinion. As a doctor who was also a Freemason and a believer in a certain cosmic view of space and time, he's more of an archetype - the crazy mystic who I driven to kill for zealous reasons. Personally, I find most stories that imagine an identity for Jack the Ripper to be difficult, as attaching an identity takes away some of the mystery. Of course, Moore wasn't trying to write a mystery, so perhaps this is a case of me having very particular tastes.

Abberline, the Inspector, was fairly sympathetic in that he seemed honest and down to earth. His kindness towards a woman named Emma made me like him for a while, though I did sour on him when he became angry and misogynistic.

The five victims of the Ripper were also sympathetic and I appreciated that we got to know them and their struggles a little before they were killed. I do wish there was a little more done with the injustice of their killing (and the conspiracy to cover it up), but Moore doesn't seem to be as interested in class and gender dynamics as it pertains to these women.

TL;DR: From Hell contains some impressive art and a very useful section of annotations; overall, though, it was not a particularly memorable reimaging of Jack the Ripper or a compelling commentary on the topics it aims to explore.

[ablazeinhim]

I went out with my childhood bestie's friend group the other night and it really made me realize that I'm very picky about my friends. 😂

***

As I've been reflecting on it the past couple days I've put a few things together about like who somebody was and stories my friend has told me. And girl, some some of these situations and some of these people's actions and attitudes, like... I find it a little hard to believe that these are my friend's type of people.

***

And maybe they were all just having really bad days/times in life when those things happened and they acted that way, but some of them I'm like yeah I would be pulling away hard. I would always rather have fewer friends and know they're supportive and dependable and honest and loving, than many friends who aren't a perfect fit. And often that means I do shit alone, because my friends are busy people, or they live far. And I'm ok with that.

I don't wanna mask in front of my friends, or watch what I say, or be scared to talk about what I believe. I need open communication and mutual respect.

***I rambled about the night and decided it was distracting from what I actually wanted to say so I cut that part out of the middle and put it here in case you want to read the post in it's og form:

I can fall in love in an instant and vibe with people so hard, so it's not that. Like the other week I was in Ohio for a friend's wedding and I got to meet his twin brother and childhood friends and fucking loved them all. The vibes were excellent, the energy exquisite. Me and one of them laughed constantly when next to each other. No awkwardness at all. We took stupid group pictures in the yard. I left longing to be their friend.

That was not the vibe of the other evening. I didn't have a bad time, but I didn't gel with any of them. My friend and I carpooled, so on the way home she did tell me that it was kind of a weird night.

But I don't think it would have made a difference.

It was clear a couple of them were "partiers." I love a party, and I *am* a good time. But I don't drink and it was clear that was typically a big aspect/the main activity. My idea of a fun night out is a light dinner(so I don't have to worry about leftovers. Definitely snacking later at home) followed by something entertaining (my top choices would probably be a drag show or an arcade) and then dancing. I NEED dancing. Please God get me in the room with the queers and the neurodivergent DJ. I could skip all the other things as long as I can vibe on the dance floor with my loved ones.

We went out to dinner and to the gay bar. Both things I like!

And there was no dancing! One of them was adamant, "I don't dance." WHY. Why would you deny yourself the joy of movement. The embodiment of sound. Why would you declare it like it's something you can't wait to spit out of your mouth.

Why was there so much talk of past times getting fucked up (and presumably that was a positive experience for them). [This also probably wasnt discussed a TON, but it was multiple times and since I'm not into that personally it really stood out to me--like if you wanna tell me about the party that's great, but like can you tell me a funny story from it or something, instead of just how much your bar tab was?]

One of the people was abrasive and aggressive (in energy) in a way that did not make me feel safe or at ease.

Maybe it's because they're an established group and it was my first time with them. Maybe it's because I'm neurodivergent and introverted. Whatever it was, it just wasn't my scene. And that's ok. None of them were mean.

Someone we ran into that night is not really someone that my friend likes, but despite that, my friend still buys this person's art and still is considering doing a group activity with them before this person moves like an hour away. And internally I was like...why? Why would you spend time with people who send you mixed signals and act in an emotionally abusive manner???

[queermediastudies]

Neoliberalism & Gay Market

From the early 1970s, global competition and falling profit rates stirred U.S. corporates to uplifts a pro-business activism, striving for more market share, corporate growth, and profitability. Then, pro-business activism became the foundation of neoliberalism. Neoliberalism aims to dismantle the limited welfare state, reducing the money spent on other social uses, in order to maximize corporate profit rates. In that case, neoliberalism adopts the logic of economic determinism, creating a vision of “competition, inequality, market discipline, public austerity, and ‘law and order’” (Duggan, 2002, p.5). And to reach the pro-business goal, neoliberalism essentially opposed the previous equitable, but more expansive downward redistribution of resources featured by progressive-left social movements of the 1960s and 1970s. In this sense, throughout the 1980s, the overall direction of social resource redistribution around the world has become upward, which means resources are concentrated toward “fewer hands at the very top of an increasingly steep pyramid” (Duggan, 2002, p.5). In other words, it transfers control of economic factors from the public to the very tiny proportion of elites, exacerbating overall economic inequality.

However, the development of neoliberalism requires the support of a compliant political culture that will reconstruct the everyday life of capitalism, support the upward redistribution of resources, and conceal the embedded social inequalities. Then, when we switch the gears to queer representation in the mainstream media, we can see that a lot of contemporary TV shows and movies do ostensibly promote the inclusion of LGBTQ+ characters. Nevertheless, they tend to create a fantasy or illusion about what it would look like to be a “good” gay, a new normal gay, or an ideal gay. For example, they should be white, middle-upper class, highlighting how they keep their ‘place at the table’ by striving to be just like their straight middle-class counterparts, living in a monogamous relationship, and building up a (mildly dysfunctional) family (Joyrich, 2014).

The media examples that I bring are from Modern Family, an American family sitcom television series produced by the American Broadcasting Company. This TV show follows the lives of three diverse families, all branches of the big family linked by patriarch Jay Pritchett. Mitchell and Cameron constitute a gay couple family, and they are both middle-upper-class white males. Mitchell is a lawyer, and Cam is a coach at the school. They both have decent jobs and high social status. Their house is in the suburban area of Los Angeles. And their families are all middle-upper-class cis straight people living an affluent life with several kids.

The first clip shows Mitch and Cam’s wedding ceremony, where you can see how exquisitely decorated their wedding is. And their friends and families are almost all white, middle-class, cisgender, straight people who strongly support and love Mitch and Cam. At 0:53 of the clip, there is an interesting parallel between Clair (Mitch’s sister) and Phil (Clair’s husband), a heterosexual couple and a new homosexual couple. And then, Phil said, “They say the best marriages contain just a little bit of magic. Believe me, I know.” Then, he looks at his wife. It seems Phil and Clair’s heterosexual marriage is the prototype of the “best marriage,” and Mitch and Cam’s marriage will be a mimicry of this model.

The second clip shows the scene where Lily, a Vietnamese girl adopted by Mitch and Cam, wants to have a fake “wedding” with her dad. This family structure also implies that an ideal gay family is supposed to adopt a baby, which conforms to social expectations for heterosexual people. What I think is more interesting is that before Lily figures out her sexuality, since she is too young currently, her imagination of the perfect wedding is between a girl and a boy. Again, this TV show highlights heteronormativity and the “multicultural”, neoliberal “equality” politics, which serve the neoliberal hegemony (Duggan, 2002, p.7).

Through the examples, we can see that Mitch and Cam seem like they have the “right” and “proper” gender, class, and race, which allows them to look just like everyone else in the heterosexual-sitcom-textual model. This kind of representation "does not contest dominant heteronormative assumptions and institutions, but upholds and sustains them, while promising the possibility of a demobilized gay constituency and a privatized, depoliticized gay culture anchored in domesticity and consumption" (Duggan, 2002, p. 50). And that is called homonormativity. In other words, this kind of representation focuses on the success, acceptance, and equality of individuals, while overlooking the struggle and the marginalized nature of the overall queer community. Also, the representation conforms to the mainstream culture, heterosexual structure, and normative society, pulling LGBTQ+ identity works from the very margin to the mainstream. According to Joyrich (2014), “It puts the normative back into their homos.” It makes queers not that “queer” anymore.

Therefore, the neoliberal rhetorical approach normalizes gays, assimilates gays, which may somehow create a facade of social acceptance. Ultimately, the goal is to demobilize and depoliticalize the LGBTQ+ community, and to prevent any radicalization or progressive evolution of the queer text since it will redistribute the resources downward. Only in this way could the big corporates and the upper class make more money and sustain the upward redistribution of wealth, political power, and cultural capital.

References:

Duggan, Lisa (2003). “Introduction” and “Ch 3: Equality, Inc.” in The Twilight of Equality: Neoliberalism, Cultural Politics, and the Attack on Democracy, ix-xxii; 43-66.  

Joyrich, L. (2014). Queer television studies: Currents, flows, and (main)streams. Cinema Journal, 53(2), 133-139. https://doi.org/10.1353/cj.2014.0015

[iredreamer]

I watched the episode 1 of gentlemen jack season 2 and it felt a bit abrupt compared with the entire season 1. The season 1 was more delicate.

Anonymous asked: Did Sally didn't direct the season 2? That's why the episode 1 it felts abrupt to me. I prefer the tenderness, delicacy and care of the first season. I'm scared to see the next episodes.

I’m answering these two asks together since they’re very similar (probably from the same anon, anon tell me if I’m wrong).

The first thing I wanna say is that I quite agree with your sentiment – that was also my first impression – the episode is very fast paced, there’s no time to breathe, everyone talks a lot, it is very dense, very energetic, so much so that you can’t keep up, almost strenuous to watch and you feel tired at the end. There are also a lot of storylines being established (the coal, the tribe, the hotel, Mariana drama, Anne’s own emotional journey, Ann moving into Shibden, the Listers, the servants, etc. etc. – it is A LOT).

BUT

I’ve rewatched the ep multiple times (I at least did a rewatch per day so you do the math) and even if I’m still a bit on the fence about this whole vibe, I do believe it’s done on purpose and it does serve the narrative – hear me out.

At the start of this new season we find Anne at the top of her game, she has a wife, money, she’s doing business left and right, she’s renovating Shibden – the episode simply matches her energy which is insane! No one can keep up with her and we, as viewers, are not supposed to keep up with her either. The episode makes us feel exactly how we’re supposed to feel while we watch her spin all these plates.

Anne’s running on high adrenaline and everything in the episode tells you that: the music has been enriched; there’s always something going on in the background, people talking, working; there are a lot of wide shots which don’t really let us get close and intimate with the characters (a big difference from season one); there’s a lot of back and forth and Anne goes in the same places multiple times during the episode and it all feels a bit too much. Everything is too much. Even Anne’s looks to the camera feel a bit too much. Anne is all go-go-go. It is overwhelming to watch.

Because the way the episode is constructed is supposed to make you feel this way and because it serves the story, I can say that, even if personally it’s a bit too much for me (I do prefer, like you, the delicacy of the first season waaay more) it does make total sense that this is the way the first episode unravels.

Like you, I did miss Sally’s touch but I’m also very curious to see how everything evolves from here – at some point Anne is gonna hit rock bottom – I’m very curious to see how the tone of the show will change accordingly to Anne’s feelings – that’s at least how I think things will go, I guess all we can do is wait and see :)

Thank you for your messages and I hope you have a good weekend!