#there was a promo pic that had her and the rest of the original team back when her redesign was revealed

[imitation-steamroller]

I’ve been thinking recently, and I’ve realized that one of my issues with the Steam Team is the name itself.

Like, on its own it’s fine. A little silly, but otherwise fine. But when you put it into context with the world of Thomas & Friends, it comes off as vague since there are so many steam engines on Sodor.

If I had no knowledge of Thomas whatsoever and you told me the main characters of the show are called the Steam Team, my first thought would be that it’s either because they’re the last, the majority, or the only steam engines on the railway. But if you showed me a picture of every standard gauge engine and told me to pick out the eight main characters, I could maybe pick out Thomas and Percy while wondering why they’re called the Steam Team to begin with.

And like, if the series took place on a post dieselized Sodor and Thomas and the other seven (Other nine? Ten? Does Stanley count as a former member since he was in the song that one time?) were preserved in the Earl’s railway museum or something, I’d be into the Steam Team.

[aspiestvmusings]

ZEP ANALYSIS

POSSIBLE SPOILERS for “ZOEY’S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST” (NBC) 

This is my take on the shows storylines (episode 1-8), spoilers (for rest of s1), comments from the creators and cast...

This was originally inspired by many online comments from TeamMax vs Team Simon. I just wanted to analyze the show based on that. 

My take on the storyline: “The Love Triangle”

Good news for one team, perhaps not so good for the other team. 

Based on everything we’ve seen on the show (the storytelling, the promotional materials, the spoilers)... everything points to Max/Zoey being the endgame. I’ve seen many fans (both those who support Team M & those who support Team S), say that they get the same message from the storytelling. It does seem to be the clear message from the show...no matter how they get there..or when...

The “proof”: 

First: The actor who portrayes Max is billed higher (probably mostly cause he’s done more well-known musical projects before than the other actor), and he’s featured in much more promotional materials (promo pics, posters, promo videos...) and in more central role, than the other actor. The promotion is vastly focused on M/Z. They use those characters & actors... a lot...for promotion. That suggests only one thing. 

Second: They told us the premise of Zoey’s future relationships in the Pilot already via this Max/Zoey conversation:

Zoey: I have a long history of --- what do you call my past relationships again? --

Max: -- “Unnecessarily complicated, exhausting for everybody, the opposite of good”?

Zoey: Yeah. Those things. Which is why this time I'm just gonna take things slow, and wait for the right “in”

And with Zoey/Simon thing has been just a repeat of her past experiences which she claims she doesn’t want to re-live again, and this show is all about her growth as a character/person, this cannot be the endgame. Even if they’d reveal that S/J have broken up... all that’s already happened has followed this exact description (see Max’s quote)

Third: While Zoey sang her heart song to Max and they had a moment for themselves (though..let’s be honest...they get interrupted so much that others in the office must’ve overheard a lot by now...), the heartsong to Simon seemed to be more like a setup for having Max see it. And while both songs are about her deepest, secret feelings/desires... and there’s truth in both, then the way the scenes were set up makes it seem like she sang to her best friend to make him aware of how she really feels (what he said in the previous ep: he needs to know/get a respose from her...and this gave him that). But the other song was meant to be overheard by her best friend...and that was the goal of the song/scene (not the song itself, but that he saw). Again pointing to the show going for Max as the endgame. 

Fourth: The triangle is as follows: Both Max & Simon like Zoey, but she only really likes one of them. Both men sang heart songs to her (Max = I think I love you, Sucker, If I can’t have you, 500 miles), and she sang to both...but different songs. Simon sang “If you say that you are mine, I'll be here 'til the end of time” in 1x05, so it’s coming from his side. Zoey in 1x08 sang "I'm Yours” to Max (that her heart is his), but she sang “I want you to want me” to Simon (not that she wants him, but she wants him to want her). As her best friend explained it - one is about love, the other physical attraction. But... if you listen to the lyrics more closely then based on them she’s singing about how she saw S. crying & all alone (1x01) and how that affected her, compared to singing to M. how she’s “caught feelings”. So she’s only actually interested in Max, as her feelings for Simon are not mutual (beyond the grief bond). One is one-sided and more “superficial”, the other is mutual and more “serious”. 

Fifth: While we’ve seen that Zoey thinks she’s caught feelings for Simon (what she told her mom at the engagement party), and she hasn’t really admitted this to anyone besides her mom, she seems to not see it as a good thing. She also claims to both Max & Simon that she doesn’t really have feelings for Simon/wasn’t aware of her feelings and/or that she’s basically over it... so kinda “little white lies”. She seems to think they have a sort of connection and/or she seems to find him attractive...despite realizing that it cannot happen because he’s engaged. (and before Simon went and took the wrong step, he said the right thing - they leaned too much on each other about their grief, and they should just go back to co-workers, and that’s all. Sadly...that was changed because of the “glitch” that mislead...people). But... we also saw that she is fighting against having feelings for the morally questionable engaged man, cause she probably realizes it’s a bad idea. 

Sixth: All this time, but especially in the last episode, the show has tried to show the two men in her life differently, and show the differences in their “relationships” with Zoey. It’s a very classic “fairytale story” that follows often-used “clichees”. They’ve shown how the two are different, and how the connection between both “ships” is different. And everything points to them starting to make the difference even more clear. By now they all are aware of each others feelings...to some point... and both men are aware that they’re both competing for her interest. 

And she’s aware that she is interested in both... but in different ways, and for different reasons. And again they used Max to vocalize the choice before her - will she choose physical attraction without deeper connection or love and deeper emotional connection...AKA “new attractive co-worker who went through what shes going through VS her best friend, who is always there for her...no matter what. The options were made clear, now it’s her decision. And it’ll depend a lot on how each man will act from now on...at the most difficult time in her life (she’s now really going to lose her dad). 

If Simon will try to make advances based on the heart song she sang, which gave outmixed signals AND at the same time Max will continue being a good friend (as we saw in 1x08...despite their dispute) then that’ll make Z/S grow furher apart and Z/M grow closer. And since it’s all become too complicated and messy for everyone... then it’s very possible all this will get to Jessica, and break those two apart. But... that’s IMO gonna be the opposite from making the path clear for S/Z. To have Simon as a character grow they need to have him deal with his grief, and all that. The Simon vs Max thing is a lot like Leif/Tobin thing... where the peer reviews made one become sketchy and start playing games, and the other start working on bettering themselves. I expect similar differences of paths taken for S & M. Especially because we’ve not only seen Tobin 2.0, but also Max 2.0 (and we’ll see more of that..in coming eps)

Seventh: We ve heard spoilers than in the S1 finale there will be a “heart song” for/from/with one of the two and Zoey. From how the scene is decribed it sound more like something fitting to Max (Max/Zoey). Which fits with how the season and story has been built so far. That seems to also confirm where they’re taking it. Cause...they’ve established that just like on most shows the main character HAS TO have a love interest, and so far they’ve only introduced two  options. 

Other reasons why Zoey will most likely choose “love” over “physical attraction”:

We saw Zoey’s reaction when she found out that S. had a SO/was engaged - she ran. And though she might find him attractive (physically)...as she found out via her heart song in 1x08, and she might feel a connection to him (because of the heart song she heard him sing in 1x01), she hasn’t shown interest in actually being with him... because she knows he’s taken. And also because she’s not really in the right place to start a relationship. She/They may not realize it, but they don’t have much more in common than grief - that’s the center of their bond (for now). Despite her interest/attraction to him & her thinking she “likes” him... 

This is also why it’s easier for her to admit she has/had feelings for Simon, but she’s having trouble admitting...to herself (and Mo) & to Max that she may have feelings for her best friend. There’s nothing to lose with the first, but a lot to lose with the second. She’s afraid (and she varbalized it at the end of 1x07) that something could not go well... etc

While Max was not at all ready to meet his dates (Autumn) parents, because it’s a huge step and he just wan’t ready for it, he has met his best friends parents, and is welcome at their home. And there’s no feelings of meeting the parents being such “next level step”. We saw this when he brough her dad pudding to eat & when he helped carry the bed downstairs. It was also mentioned that he’s been part of the extended family for a while - welcome to family events (Christmas, barbeques..). Zoey’s father - the most important person in her life until now - is definitely on the man’s side, who brings him pudding (cause he’s paid attention that he can only eat soft food) and visits him & helps out. And her dad’s opinion is very important to Zoey, so... 

She is completely at easy with Max seeing her with a facemask on, eating take-out, alone, at home, but she hides it (the true self) from Simon. She wears “a mask” with Simon, but doesn’t with Max. Same with how she didn’t tell Simon about her dad in 1x08 (brushing it off: hospital = lollipop), while telling Max that her dad had an apointment that morning. And though it did take her time to find the courage to tell him about it all in detail, she did..in the end. But from the start she shared the main info even if she didn’t tell what exactly happened and how she feels about it. She didn’t completely brush it off with him...even if the news made her unable to process and share it...right away.

We saw how she resisted her personal heart songs to Leif/Joan & to Simon, while being completely at ease with singing them to her best friend (Max) and her dad (Mitch). Cause if we leave out the big dance numbers (Crazy, Pressure), then she tried stopping herself  from singing the others...the personal songs... and/or apologized for what’s to come...with Simon, too. But with Max (and her dad) the song just came to her...without the need to apologize or resist it. And afterwards she just tried to claim it didn’t mean as much, because she’s just in denial (and not really ready to start a relationship...because right now she is going through stages of grief). There’s a huge difference in both the heart songs she sang & HOW she sang them.

And we’ve seen that she really appreciates him as a friend, and as she told him - she can’t lose him as a friend...she needs him in her life. She cares about his feelings. She is afraid she gave him the wrong impression, she runs after him to explain things to him, because she knows that he got hurt. She actually cares about him...and is feelings (as a friend). And they’ve not shown the same reaction with Simon. And though the friends to one-sided to more-than-friends trope is “an overused clichee”, it isn’t necessarily bad. It can work well. Examples: Mondler on Friends, Peraltiago on B99...

Max may have the advantage of having known her longer, and knowing her better (because they’ve been friends for 5 years), and hence she’s more comfortable around him. And...that’s the reason why she let him in on her superpower secret, and why she tells him about...things. But... that’s precisely why she should and will choose Max over Simon. (He’s been there for her...always...and he continues to be there for her...through this hard time in her life.)

We saw how even though he was upset with her (for keeping secrets from him, from setting him up with someone  else when she knew about his feelings for her...just because she didn’t dare to be honest with him & communicate...and hearing her sing to another person, too...) he was still there for her. A shoulder to lean on...literally and figuratively. He came to her rescue when she put her job at risk (singing Pressure), he gave her her mom’s message and supportive advice regarding her dad... And though there’s a hint of competitiveness that he seems to feel after the 1x07 elevator end scene (where we saw that both men seem to think they’ll be the end choice), and him wanting some kind of response from her, the 1x07 end scene and other moments have shown us that he’s willing to wait til she’s ready.

Especially...since in 1x07 he felt like it’s unfair that she can see into his heart and knows how he feels about her, he doesn’t. But in 1x08 he got to see into her heart (because even though she’d promised to always be honest with him from now on... she wasn’t fully... for a bit... and the “glitch” made her break her promise...til the evening), and it’s more “fair”. He now isn’t as in the dark, and less uncertain. I think the glitch was good for him, because he now knows how she really feels. All he wanted was an honest answer. And though it’s undertandable that he’s a bit hurt by what he’s heard & seen lately... but in the end it was beneficial. As Mo put it... he deserves an answer...no matter what it is...

I get the feeling that by now Zoey’s actually aware that she has feelings for her best friend. She might’ve not been aware of it all until he sang the first heart song to her, but after that we’ve clearly seen that she has either started to realize she actually has feelings for him or that she’s started to have feelings for him. She showed signs of jealousy when he was with Autumn (seeing them talking at the coffee shop, dancing at the club...). She couldn’t stop staring at him when she walked in during the Mo’ Makeover...indicating clearly that she finds him also physically attractive. Not to mention the emotional connection, and friendship. All the looks she gives him, her song & dance during “I’m Yours”... all for him... 

And she cares about his feelings & not hurting him (running after him when he sees her heart song to Simon...) The look she has, when he brings her dad pudding & when she sees him with her dad or when  she hears him sing “500 miles”, or the looks and giggles when she sings her heart song to him.... While she’s in no place in a relationship at this time, I think she’s realized that despite her grief and emotional state she’s developing feelings for her best friend. And that... just like what’s going on with her dad, seems to scare her. 

MY PERSONAL TAKE/THOUGHTS:

As human as her feelings for Simon are (you can’t control who you find attractive...), and as much as this can happen IRL then Zoey/Simon is a no-no... simply because of his relationship status. Cheating storylines are not cool. Hence I cannot stand behind that “ship” or the possibility of accepting them as a viable possibility. IF he didnt have a fiancee, he’d be a candidate, but that’s not the case...he has a SO. Hence Team Simon cannot even be an option. No matter how much they try to promote it all as a love triangle & no matter how much they make Simon make bad decisions and wrong moves (going to her place & talking to her about his feelings, kissing her) seem “nothing serious”.... it’s wrong. It’s just as her best friend decribed it in 1x08. If things were different, yeah, but we’re not talking hypotheticals. 

So IMO there’s one clearly wrong choice netween these two. I mean... I would not care if they would have her stay single, or develop new interest (Tobin)...as long as it’s not “morally questionable”. Z/S would be like Joan/Leif... sketchy, and wrong. And hopefully having seen those two helps Zoey understand that.... see the parallels (she has a hint that one is playing the other) 

As for “Max is being too pushy”... here’s how that goes: he’s been in love with his best friend...for some time...and not said a thing. She accidentally finds out after she gets her superpower. And all the while his feelings seem to grow deeper. And now that she’s aware of his feelings, it seems she’s become more aware of her own (similar) feelings and/or she’s developed them. And sure...after his peer reviews (that “he doesn’t show initiative”) & seeing that his best friend is interested in someone else...who would be just another “not good option” similar to her past bad relationship decisions, ...and after getting mixed signals from her, he made more direct steps. 

He sang her his heart songs, but he didnt push her (no, “Hand picked” is not like a date, just “are you free to go and eat”). She only felt pushed because she could “read his mind”. Also... he didn’t sing to her while being in a relationship with someone else...he kept his distance. And at the same time she seems to have become more and more aware about her feelings for him, and she was giving him “wrong signals”. His response - the flash mob was a response to that. And he was just upset that she ran...without any real response (not interested, can’t right now...cause I’m too occupied with  dad thing). All he wanted was some sort of respose, and he told her so. She avoided telling him how she really feels (as Mo put it... he’ll understand if you say you don’t know, but you owe your friend an answer)...delaying it...as long as she could.  

Also... any rational person would be confused about hearing that someone has superpowers. Again...she avoided giving him an explanation, instead telling him “fairytales of superpowers”. And in the end he was okay with her answer - that she can’t give him an answer at the moment. Even though he was upset, we saw he was still gonna be her friend (even if keeping some distrance, and not doing the movie nights), and that he was sure that one day she’ll be ready (the 1x07 elevator end scene, where both men think she’ll choose them...in the end..when she’s ready)

And in the latest episode we saw that no matter how hurt his feelings were, he did not stop being her friend. As he said “he’ll be there...always...and be the shoulder to lean on”. And you could tell that a huge weight was lifted off his shoulder when he knew her real feelings. When she did what she promised in last episode...be 100% honest with him. Sure... it only happened because of the glitch, when she sang him the heart song, but nonetheless it made things more equal. As he said - it’s unfair that she knows how he feels & can see into his heart but he cannot see into hers. The glitch changed that. Gave him the opportunity to get the answers she “owed him”

 So... it’s undertandable that he felt hurt and confused when he saw her sing a heart song to someone else... right after finally giving him some answers. But...during he same conversation he processed it all, and also explained it to her - one song about love, the other about attraction. And he didn’t say “choose me”, he just explained the meanings to her (cause it was obvious she didn’t understand it herself), and told what his choice would be, while saying that he knows she’ll make her decision on her own....cause that ’s what she’s like. 

As a friend he doesn’t want her to make the same mistakes she has in the past..hence him being “upset” with her. Cause to him it looks like she wasn’t completely honest (something she promised to be) with him - singing her heart feelings to him, and then to someone else. Claiming that she can’t lose him as a friend and that’s why she’s not ready to try being more than friends, when to an outsider it looks like the real reason is, as he put it - cause she’s confused about her feelings... for two people. All she’d have to tell him...from start... would just be honest and simply just say (more clearly) that she has to focus on her family & dad at this time, and ask for time. She kinda did at the end of 1x07, but because she’s not good with emotions and feelings...and she delayed her answer, she didn’t really let him in...and be the friend she needs at the time, it wasnt as clear as it could’ve been. 

So far all his “pushy” behaviour can be seen as being a good friend -  he’s trying to help her not start another overly complicated relationship...which she told him (in Pilot) is not what she wants anymore. He points out to her why Simon is not a good option - he’s taken. Yes, part of his “pushiness” seems to come from trying to be less what his peer reviews decribed him like & competitiveness (knowing Simon is kinda his competition). But from his POV... (before she told him about her superpowers& sang him her heart song)... she’d been shown more interest in him (checking him out, giving mixed signals) & at the same time he’s in a bit of hurry because if he doesn’t act soon she may make a move on the new guy/the new guy may make a move on her. So it makes sense that with all of that happening at the same time he seems...to some... to "push” her towards being more than friends... Cause unconciously he may realize that if he doesn’t make a move ...now... he may be too late. 

And though it all... he’s still there for her. He might be “mad at her... just a bit”, but he still goes to check on her, still gives her advice, and space... after he knows what’s really going on. (he “pushes” her to confont her feelings about her dad, and deal with it instead of running). He’s not looking for something in return. We saw that over and over in several episodes. He verbalized it in 1x06, and his face/look told it in the end of 1x07 elevator scene. 

Also... “Mr Nice Guy” is better than “Mr. Cheater”...any day... in my book. And it surprises me that there are those who think that “nice guy who goes after his best friend” is worse option & worse clichee than the “hot new guy, who is willing to cheat”. For me one is clearly wrong behaviour the other just depends on your preferences. 

To quote Mo : Max is funny, and funny always wins. Hence... being Team Max.

                  So... while up until things got overly complicated, both men could’ve been options, by now the show (writing etc) has made it pretty clear that they’re going for Z/M endgame. 

Though the showrunner/writers at times love to focus on the “love triangle” (I still don’t see it in the writing...I only hear it being described so by the showrunner etc), and how they want to continue with that...for a while... which makes it seem a bit like they’re seriously pro “cheating plots” and “human feelings are messy...hence we let the main character continue making bad choices” because “we love the love- triangle drama”, there’s still more evidence in them not really taking it further than the kiss. But yeah... at times the showrunners comments make it sound like he thinks more like the HIMYM creator did and less like Dawson’s Creek creator did. Too fixed in loving the “triangle drama” & not going for character growth... But... I truly hope that all that has just been misleading...and the storytelling is what tells us how it goes. 

They already let Simon make a bad move - the kiss. That should be the line over the line that they won’t cross again. He may continue pursuing her by singing songs to her, because he read her heartsong in the wrong way (because he doesn’t know why she did it, and what’s behind it), but if they follow the character growth path, and their current direction... they won’t let him/her go into the “cheating plot” territory again. 

    My “advice” to Zoey & Simon: 

IF I could talk to these fictional characters, then the advice I would have given them...weeks/months ago would have been: just talk to your family & friends...the important people in your life. That’s Jessica for Simon, and Max (Mo, her mom...) for Zoey. Luckily we finally saw Zoey do that in the latest episode. So far we haven’t seen her really share the specific details on her dads health & her feelings regarding it all, with him. She hasn’t really confonted her feelings about it...til now or really confided in anyone in her family...etc... until now/finally. But Simon doesn’t seem to be doing so (he kept it all inside for a long time...until he had a chance to talk to a stranger, Zoey), and even though he made a point to not talk to her about it all, there has been no indication that after the “smoked roses” incident he’s confided in the person he should, Jessica.

Because... it doesn’t take a shared experience to get the support you need. The other person doesn’t have to have lived through the same/doesn’t have to know what it feels like in person to be the right person to lean on. And that was beautifully showcased at the end of ep 1x08, when Max, after he had been told about her dad’s condition, and her feelings regarding it, was the emotional support she needed. It just takes one person - somone who knows you best/well... to help you nagivate your “grief”.

To elaborate: That moment, when she finally was completely honest with Max, and let him in on her dad’s situation, was very important. It was the step to right direction. It also showed Zoey & us that it doesnt take a person who has experienced the same to understand her, support her. It just takes one person, who knows you & is there for you no matter what. And we shan’t forget that since Max was also close with Mitch, he will be personally affected by her dad’s death. So a shared experience... shared grief. Max being “in” on the details means that they’ll lean on each other more on this (so less need fo Zoey to connect about grief with Simon...who doesn’t have a connection with her dad & who doesn’t really know her). It was a crucial moment: Zoey finally not running from it all & properly starting grieving (going through the stages). And she finally let someone really in (something Simon can’t/won’t do with his fiancee... both cause she doesn’t understand him & his not willing to let her in), so this will make their friendship stronger going forward. Meaning: she doesn’t need Simon fro grief bond - she can get that support from Max, too. 

And they really need to explore Simon’s character...and let him grow. Based on spoilers we know that were gonna get (finally) some more development and closer look into Max. But they need to look into S. (Is it just the grief? Is is something...more...)

wow ..this turned out way longer than I expected and planned. 

Also... no ship wars comments, please. Even though I stated why I prefer one of the options the show has introduced that does not mean this is an invite to start discussion which is better. This is not the purpose of this post. You’re allowed to have your preference. For me there simply is a (single) reason why I cannot support one, while am OK with the other. 

THE END 

[okimargarvez]

IT’S NOT THE END

Original title: It’s not the end.

Prompt: someone has a special gift for Penelope.

Warning: what if for first episodes of season 15.

Genre: drama, action, family, romantic.

Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, BAU team.

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: oneshot 65 in Garvez collection.

Legend: 💏😘🔦.

Song mentioned: La fine, Tiziano Ferro.

GARVEZ STORIES

Note: I written this story based on the promo and the promotional pics, before understanding the episode about the bomb would be the third. This is my version of the premiere. We are so close!

IT’S NOT THE END

 / The end will come, but it will not be the end \

The elevator doors open. The noise of the blonde woman's heels echoes throughout the building. She walks firmly, confident in her not so short dress and with that orange flower in her hair. Still, this is not her floor. She heads for a counter where another woman is waiting for her. -I have a package for you, Miss Garcia.- says the latter, bending over to pick up something bulky. She places it on the tabletop. The blonde's eyes watch it carefully. There is something strange in her expression, but understanding exactly what, here is the fun. They scrutinize every detail: the square shape, perhaps more rectangular, the red and anonymous ribbon (for many, perhaps, but not for her) that wraps it, making it look like a gift, perhaps even a welcome one. The gift of an admirer too shy to reveal himself.

After an apparently endless pause, she leans forward, approaching the object and the counter. She takes a few more seconds before reaching out, but still doesn't touch it. -For me?- her question is exactly as useless as it seems; just another way to delay, postpone that moment. Finally, her fingers touch the colored fabric. She sighs. -Was there also a note with it?- as expected, the other woman nods. She knew it had to be there. Just as she was sure of what she would find with her name written on it when that message appeared on her phone. There is something waiting for you.

Next to the package there is now an innocent looking card. Completely white. -Yes, it was about to come off. - but it didn't happen, no, it would have ruined his plans. She forces herself to take it in her hands and fits it under the tape.

She takes her leave with a simple glance. -Thanks, Paula.- she decides to take the elevator again. Better to avoid too many jolts and then... it is really very heavy and uncomfortable to carry. Just to touch it annoys her, but she can't risk putting it on the ground. She can't risk someone kicking it by mistake. There could be something fragile inside it... (even if from the weight it wouldn't be said). Or even worse. She comes down last, voluntarily, wobbling on her heels. She is too focused on her mission, to notice two eyes that stare at her carefully.

She is pondering whether to shut herself up in her office or in the one abandoned by Morgan, which no one has occupied since he left the team; because maybe she needs to feel him close at this moment. Even if she has no intention of disturbing him. And in the end, she decides to rely on the memory of her chocolate thunder. She manages to open the glass door with her foot, in a not very elegant but certainly practical way. She crosses the bullpen, climbs the stairs and just when she is about to cross the threshold of that place that she considers almost sacred, a voice behind her makes her jump. -Someone has a secret boyfriend?- in part because she didn't really expect it; partly because it's him.

The man goes around her until he stands exactly in front of her. He has an amused smile on his lips. He wears a light, striped shirt, which is strange by his standards. And as always, it's beautiful. -Luke!- she would like to be able to put a hand on her heart, which now beats wildly, for more than one reason together. -You almost make me fall...- but she has still that damned package in her hands, almost bigger than her.

The colleague suddenly stops chuckling. Now his eyes are also on that object, weighing up it, evaluating it. -Did you hear it too?- he asks, taking another step. The movement of the arms seems to suggest his intentions. It is easy for her to appear naive, there is no need to lie.

She tries to get away without being too noticed, but ends up against the door, which, being not locked, opens wide. -What?- she replies, simultaneously recovering balance. Without waiting for any invitation, he follows her inside. And, as he had done when he found her in the bat cave crying for Reid, he turns to close the door.

When he does it, he notices that the package is on the desk. -I'm not sure.- but the doubt is more than enough, for this reason he continues to proceed, with a slow and measured step, outwardly calm, towards her and towards the thing. Aware of making himself ridiculous, especially if it turns out that he is wrong and that his first impression was correct. For a moment he loses himself thinking about what he really wants. -Garcia, give me that note.- rarely they were been so close. The height difference and his dark look should be enough to convince her to collaborate. But she is damned stubborn.

She tears the cardboard from the package, risking to cut her hand. She tries hard to handle his piercing eyes. Only then will she be able to get rid of him. And she doesn't know how much time has left, if her theory is correct. She doesn’t even know why she has that fixed image in her head, that has hammered her without giving her respite since her gaze rested on the thing. -No, I don't understand why I should...- she says. But if her expression is resolute and convinced, not so her tone, which falters in several places. And of course, man notices it.

He goes around the desk, continuing the pursuit. The part of his activity with the fugitive team that he misses most. Study the prey, set the trap and hunt. Not that he has stopped since he was in BAU... only that it is no longer a job, but a hobby... -Garcia, don't oblige me to take it by force. - he threats her and there is no mischievous or erotic aftertaste, although this is a step that he would have liked to take many times. Put her to the test. See how long she can last.

She doesn't give up the note, she carries it behind her back, as if it were just a game. And she starts walking backwards, looking for an escape. Which, in the real, physical world, is not there. So, she tries another strategy. -Since you and Lisa have broken, you've gotten worse.- but the blow doesn’t hit the target as hoped. The only reaction she gets is a slight raising of his eyebrows. It would have been an unfair move, not something she usually does, to put personal feelings in the middle. Surely, he was still thinking about it, he suffered within himself; too little time had passed since that bomb had exploded, without warning. Or so it had seemed.

Not even an ounce of pain, however, peeps into those brown eyes. Just as his lips remain tense and don’t bend in a half smile. Nothing. And it has gained ground again. -This has nothing to do with it.- he only answers. She doesn't know what to replicate. The situation is exasperating her. When he is close to her, her neurons work slowly. But she can't forget why he followed her in there. That ticking. Concern overcomes everything. -So what? Do you know who sent it to you?- the blonde doesn’t nod, nor does she shake her head. Her eyes dance from one point to another of the room, of his face, of his body. Anxiety grows in that of Alvez. -Are you sure it's nothing dangerous?- here, he has said, he has laid his cards on the table. Often it happened to beating around the bush with her and in a sense it could also be fun. This time this is not suggested.

Since she doesn’t seem willing to give up, man quickly develops an alternative strategy, focusing directly on the main objective. -Wh... Why should I?- she just asks him, but despite being shaking (and if that's not a confirmation that she also suspects something, what else can it be?), she still manages to intercept his hands and stops him before he can grab the note.

They remain there, with their hands-on top of each other, without either of them making a subsequent move, for fear that when one will pull out, the other will take advantage of the slightest glimmer. -For the way you were bleached when this... was about to fall...- he can't call it by that name, he's pushed to use another term, the one that immediately appeared in his head -...this thing.- he moves a few fingers on the clearer ones, and he wouldn't know if he did it just trying to convince her. -Because I know you and I know when you are nervous and agitated.- this time she can't hold back. One of her annoyed grimaces escapes her. Like old days, when he called him Newbie. But that's not all: red cheeks and glittering eyes suggest more. -Like right now.- he adds, while his voice melts into softer, lower shades.

Maybe it was for that, maybe not, however the blonde takes her hand away from his, getting rid of him. He is almost sorry. -Profiler. Damn.- she comments, rolling her eyes, giving him the card. Even Luke's eyes take little time to realize the first obvious feature.

-Garcia, there is absolutely nothing here.- it is she, this time, forced to join him. She stands next to him, their hips touching each other for a moment, then she takes the note out of his hands, or almost, because he doesn’t give up and then guides hers.

She points out a hidden fold. But she knew it was there and this doesn’t go unnoticed to the agent. -Fold the two halves, like this.- an unequivocal image is formed thanks to that simple trick. A reptile. The long tongue, coiled in a spiral. And the tail wrapped in the same way. A dominant color, in various shades. But open to all existing possibilities. Fickle. Prone to change.

The man drops the card on the ground, like burning. -Oh fuck.- he glances at the blonde, who looks back at him. -It's a chameleon.- he says it aloud, to try to give it a shape, a sense, a reality. Because as long as the thing remains a symbol, an emblem, a bearer of dark meanings... its power will be infinite, uncontrollable. More than a human being, and it is good to remember that he is precisely a man, a living person, nothing supernatural.

He struggles to bring his eyes back to the blonde woman, who stands in complete silence. The world, today, must have got out of the wrong side of the bed... or the solar system. Everything is going against the ordinary. Garcia never keeps quiet, she always has something to express, to share with the world. And he usually doesn’t allow himself to be overwhelmed in this way by the unknown subjects they hunt. Not after Cullen, at least. And he has never seen he as anything more than a subspecies of a human being. Scum, to be exact. Perhaps, the last occasion he felt a real shiver of terror down his spine... was when he studied Scratch’s card, while Rossi was tormenting him, trying to convince him to join the BAU. Too bad that then it was his turn to witness the very little tragic and far more ridiculous end of that "monster". It wasn't the way he died that turned him into a pathetic homunculus. No, it had been as he had begged him, begged to spare him. He who had never wanted to take the burden of personally killing his victims, who had preferred to play with their deepest, hidden fears, rooted in childhood. -I know.- she only says, a low tone, barely audible, her gaze equally lost. She is terrified no less than he is. In about four years since he knew her, he has never seen her in a similar state before.

He only needs to turn around a few millimeters to find her face, her dark eyes protected by lenses and by an invisible but very resistant shield, which he has never been able to penetrate. -What did you say?- he asks, but it is not a real question, it is simply to continue their dance, their hunt, pursuit, only on another level.

In a canonical situation, she would avoid answering him in any way possible. And she would move, move away, increase the distance between their bodies, which instead are still in contact. -I know, I imagined it was for his part.- is what she says instead, a little more loudly than a little while ago, but always in a sad way, while her eyelids close slowly. That movement seems to last indefinitely, in Agent Alvez's mind.

A thousand hypotheses appear in front of him, speeding, not giving him time to read every single word well, they make up unthinkable, ridiculous scenarios, some really horrible. -What does this mean?- he is too upset and she is too close to not do something really surprising. -Do you have a lovely mailroom with one of the FBI's most wanted serial killers?- he grabs both her arms, a little above the elbow, forcing her to look at him, even if she was already about to do it. He needed it more than she did. Just as he needs an explanation, to see her shake her head, to deny. And that this is the truth. He will understand if she lies to him.

And the woman satisfies him, more or less. Her head remains perfectly still, unlike the lower lip, which begins to vibrate, almost endowed with its own life. Catalyzing all the attention on oneself. -N... No, it's just...- he increases his grip, squeezes harder, as if he were trying to squeeze the words out of her. And maybe it really is. -It’s just that he...- a man, a male being, he really seems so, when that pronoun comes out of her mouth, ambiguous, vague, which takes on the connotations that you want. -He sent me things.- she finally concludes. And now her lips are in good company. The tremor spreads throughout the female body, following a strange path, devoid of sense and logic. First her hands begin to be shaken, then her knees, her arms (and he with her) and finally her legs.

This alone prevents him from getting really pissed, even if it is Garcia and it is difficult to imagine being able to seriously argue with her, to discuss without traces of malice and joke, to shout something bad and unforgivable on her. More than difficult. -What the hell... How long?- he forces himself not to further strengthen his grip, because he risks of seriously hurting her. He knows his strength, he knows what he can do with those hands, those muscles. For years they have been his real working tool, rather than weapons. And he won't take advantage of it with her. Never.

But she is so scared, now that she has dropped the first wall, that she can only stutter, the same word, indefinitely. - A few... A few...- sighing, counting up to one thousand four hundred and sixty, about the days since they know each other (about), the man manages to calm down just enough not to go further. Beyond the unknown, ifs, buts and perhaps.

He proceeds by exclusion, putting the words in her mouth, contenting himself with her head shakes as an answer. -Weeks?- no. -Months?- the abyss of horror opens up more and more, trying to separate them, to suck her away from him, to bring her into its darkness, in areas where he cannot reach her. -How many months, Garcia?- a too abrupt and cutting tone comes out, sending to hell all the good intentions.

She steps back or at least tries to do it, just one step. To get away one's own body from the male one. Before he does, when he will know everything. When each card will be placed on the table. -You... You will be angry with me if I tell you.- she tries therefore, aware of the futility of her attempt, as no one can let it go, at this point.

Although she is terrified, she is no less intelligent. This is why man chooses to tell her the truth, brutal one, not to hide anything from her. What then, with her, would also be a wasted effort. She has always forced him, without being in the least aware of it (he would be ready to swear it) to be completely himself, no more, no less. -It's hard enough to stay calm, but I'll try.- he doesn’t loosen the grip, however. He keeps it constant. -Reply.- he says then, using the most peaceful and sweet shades he has in the repertory.

The woman doesn’t look at him, but replies, with only a little hesitation. -After... After Rossi's wedding.- he believed he had prepared himself for the worst. But it is the mention of that particular moment, where just with her she lived a parenthesis of light-heartedness, pure happiness like clear water of a stream, even though he was engaged with another woman, and all this has prevented him from hold back.

-WHAT?- he shouts, so loud that the whole building should have been able to hear him. At the same time, as she had foreseen, he pushes her away from himself, but not for what the woman believes. It is to avoid hurting her (physically), it is because otherwise it would have been natural for him to increase the hold on her arms, until she would have screamed in pain and then a red, and blue... -Emily knows?- he asks, voluntarily ignoring her destroyed gaze. But she still finds that minimum of strength to shake her head. -Why haven't you told anybody about this?- he stretches his arms again towards her, without grasping her. Incredibly, it comes out a voice not exaggeratedly altered or too loud. And this is exactly why the woman is even more frightened; Luke's anger is latent, just above the surface. He is a bomb ready to explode. Once again, she is unable to keep her body still; it wobbles as if it were on a jackhammer.

-I, he...- she only manages to stand out those two words, while two big tears are thrown into the void. He certainly can't pretend nothing. He never endured seeing her cry, even just seeing her sad, picking up a subdued tone not full of joy in her voice. He has all those moments in front of him, just lowering his eyelids to see them flow like a film projected only for him, in his head. When Hotch announced his resignation, when there had been that bad case of human torsos torn apart, throughout Reid's story in prison, when Walker was dead, when they found out that drones had destroyed an elementary school by mistake.

He realizes that she needs a shake, literally, to say at least one sentence of complete meaning. -He threatened you directly?- he presses her, already feeling the anger rise, squeeze his heart until it bleeds, even if it was wrapped in barbed wire, and then continue, continue higher, stroking his throat before reaching its true goal: the brain, so as to make him say the wrong thing. He is an ace in this kind of thing. Then he extends his fingers just enough to get back in touch with her arms, bare from the elbow down. He moves his fingertips slowly, in a sort of caress. And finally, Penelope reacts in the hoped-for way.

She barely looks at him, she doesn't stop shaking, but she tries to explain. -I just didn't want that...- she decides alone that this is not the right way and she changes her path. -...that the team could wasting time with this... I thought I could do it alone...- and here it is, the altruist Garcia, able to apologize for not having yet overcome the trauma of being almost dead in front of her house at the hands of a bastard who he unfortunately hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting. He would have gladly had a chat with him. Here is the downside and how she shines, almost as much as her blonde hair, now darker on the tips because of the tears she hasn’t stopped shedding.

And he should only hate this side of her character, yes, he would like to detest it with all of himself, because he looks at what mess it put them in, because she risked being killed in order not to disturb others... does she really think she is worth so little? And it doesn't just refer to him. Is the ray of sunshine of the BAU really the wake of a star without a sky, long since extinguished? He sends back the mass of thoughts that now has no way to deal with (and any excuse is good to postpone). -You aren’t trained for this.- he points out, in a calm tone, always moving slowly, gently, the fingers of both hands on her forearms. She must be really in a state of shock not to have tried to stop him, nor to have try to protest. It's not that she allowed him to touch her so many times... and again he is going off topic. -Were you able to trace a sender's address?- a single, very short flash, a memory of the flames that burned in his eyes every time he said something stupid, half naively, half on purpose to provoke her... or simply to catalyze her attention on himself. That to get this he had to embarrassing himself even in front of her precious Morgan, it was an acceptable price to pay.

And even in this case he still gets a positive result. Garcia's face melts into what is probably her first smile of the day. Not as great as those of the golden age, but a good starting point. -No, but I'm working on it.- she replies. Maybe it's just because they're back in her safe zone, her area of expertise. Reluctantly, Luke takes his hands off her arms, but not without leaving a kind of long caress from her wrist to her hands. He doesn't say anything. -I only wanted to tell you when ... When I was sure...- she tries instead to justify herself.

The man nods, to make it clear that they are on the same side, in this story; in fact, they are literally on the same boat. He points to the package, he was able to call it that way, maybe things are all coming back to their usual place. -There could be something unpleasant inside, do you realize that?- of course she did, she's not a fool. But even the best brains can failure about something. In fact, adding to her genius her naive disposition... you obtained an explosive cocktail. She opens her eyes wide, at the corners of which two tears remain about to dry out. He feels his hands itch because of the need to dry them, send them away and perhaps at the same time cancel her pain. Instead, as a good special supervisor, he sighs. -If he's done his math well, he'll know you love animals.- he explains. But she get the point already with his previous insinuation. Penelope sees as if Sergio's head was really in front of her, beheaded, his eyes glazed, open to nothing, his black fur that under his chin had now turned gray... -It could also...- and then another image, no less ugly. Pieces of meat with fur still attached, brown-colored, orange fur, depending on your point of view. Brown paws. A bushy tail that could very well be her scarf.

Those visions are so credible that she doesn’t hold back a cry that seems to have come out of a horror film of those done well. Partially choked, because terror closes the throat. Partially acute. -No!- she also moves her hands in front of her, temporarily as blind and hits him, pushing him away.

Luke, however, doesn’t miss the opportunity, capturing her, wrapping both arms around her back and pressing her against his chest, letting her punch him, however too weak, letting her vent the terror of a hypothesis that could prove unfounded. Although he cannot see through her mind, he senses enough. He waits until she has calmed down enough that she can hear what he has to say. -That's why we're a team.- yes, it's so weird that right him say this, the lonely wolf, the one who was happy alone, lurking in the cold, in the most uncomfortable positions, for hours and hours, without sleep, with no other thought but to return by Roxy. -We help each other.- but he has changed so much since he joined this group. It wasn’t starting a relationship after years of voluntary solitude, nor go to move the best proof. No, the real evidence, as they say in court, was when Barnes tried to destroy them, divided them physically but not spiritually, tried to gain his approval, even she tried to rip him off by withdrawing the story of Scratch out, approving and praising his choice to let him die (which instead he could never have accepted inside himself) and he replied to her, clarifying that he was fine where he was; nothing more. -There shouldn't be any secrets of this kind...- but it is not the case that he starts talking about secrets, since he too has one, which makes him feel even more guilty for having failed to help Scratch. That double lie, the same, mirrored, that he told two of the people he loves most in the world.

But she doesn't know it, and by now, that transparent glass that she has practically always kept between them, has shattered. She clings to his shirt as if her life depended on it. -I'm sorry.- she says, letting herself be overwhelmed by the masculine warmth, by that too intimate contact that she has postponed for as long as possible, with very rare exceptions. It's different from their first and only hug and also from when they danced that slow together at Rossi's wedding. It is different because he is different now. Because he's single again. Because it's too easy to fall. Because she needs that he tells her it doesn't matter, they'll fix it together. Because she is no longer able to deny anything about what she feels for him: friendship, love, vulnerability, extreme attraction. It seems that the thin crack in her soft armor has widened a lot. And there is no way to go back.

Luke nods and perhaps has understood that he has gained access to a new level, because one of his hands moves from her back to her head, his fingers get stuck in her hair, directly massaging the skin and giving her a series of jolts along the spine. Much, much better than what she had dreamed of. -I know , I know.- he whispers after a century. How is it possible that she is not a skinny girl at all (she still likes to consider herself young), yet in his arms or even when she is close to him, she seems so small? He is not that massive. There must be a strange optical effect behind it. Unfortunately, he suddenly interrupts the movement she was already fond of to grab her face with both hands; and here we go again, it almost looks like that of a little girl, wrapped in this way by his long amber fingers. And this time it's Luke who thinks so. -What else has he sent you?- he asks. And maybe she wouldn't have been able to answer him if he hadn't moved that damned right thumb on her cheek, where there was still the arid trail of a tear. She swallows. She doesn't want to come out of his arms anymore. She doesn't know how much time has actually passed since they entered Morgan's former office, but a voice in her head tells her that not much is left. The hourglass is about to capsize for the last time...

Then, reluctantly, hearing every fiber of her body protest, she detaches enough to regain part of her mental faculties. -Only notes and... Origami.- she observes him open his eyes. Yes, she too was very surprised the first time when she noticed this particular talent. -And drawings. Horrible.- she adds promptly, shivering at the memory. And how many times did she ask herself why her? Did it depend more on the role she played within the team or on her character, as Luke had practically suggested? The man was a bastard who knew how to do it. It's one way to keep on tormenting Rossi was to shift his attention to the rest of the gang. He had to know that they were a family and the family was important to him too; did he not carry his daughter with him in his crimes? Grace had injured Agent Alvez, fortunately superficially. But it was been like an alarm, a fright, a warning that had reminded her of how futile her attempts to not fully express her affection were. So was that why Everett Lynch (of all the surnames, just that of one of her former boyfriend?) had put her at the center of his crosshairs? Because she was the most fragile, emotional one? Maybe he knew that she would handle the game, that she wouldn't tell others until…

-Did you keep them?- Luke's voice brings her back to earth. She nods. There is no more time to let herself go to crisis, to cry, to take advantage and be consoled by him. On not very firm legs she walks up to go around the desk.

-I have put them in this drawer, since nobody has occupied this place yet.- she explains, simultaneously opening it. A shadow that takes away the light makes her guess that he has already reached her. The contents of the drawer manage to snatch a nostalgic smile from her. The reaction of the man is very different, even if she cannot see it. He only had a chance to see her with Morgan once and he behaved pretty well. But apparently, he has a lot to work on managing his jealousy. That photograph, of them together, sends blood to his brain, even if they are doing nothing. But she is still in an attitude that she never held with him; she is so relaxed, with that mouth bent in a playful grimace. And then some toys in her style. Penelope pulls them aside and turns to hand him a packet of papers. Several. Too many. But he doesn’t want to allow thought to develop. If he has to, later.

He flips trough them, without voluntarily focusing on anyone. Just to get a general idea. -Oh, f...- he is not the kind that curses, but this time he barely holds back, and not to upset her, rather because the words are torn from him by a puff of vomit which he barely rejects. -Why don't you have any...- he barely meets her gaze and shakes his head. -Forget it.- he decides, getting a sigh of relief as a thank you. -Let's take care of this box.- he backs to the origin. He lifts it. -It looks pretty light.- but it seemed to her exactly the opposite. The man's eyes widen as far as possible. -Fuck.- this time he really said it. He turns to her abruptly, grabbing her by the arm and shoulder without sweetness. -Get away from here immediately, leave the room NOW.- he tries to push her, but when she wants to, she is able to resist. She suddenly finds all the strength lost in her legs, putting her feet down, at the cost of scratching the floor.

-No, no way.- she protests, in an equally unexpectedly firm and convinced tone. Adamant. Luke already knows that the game is lost, that unless he picks her up in his arms she will not move, but there is no way to implement this plan, nor to evacuate the entire building. The only possibility they have is to prevent it from bursting. And the woman he is in love with, she is wasting his time again because of her selflessness and cursed spirit of sacrifice.

He takes her by the hips, or rather, a little higher, forcing her at least to look at him and hoping that this truly outside the lines gesture can make her come back to her senses or upset her enough to become a dead weight. -Garcia, I told you to go away.- he glances at the package, now open. A red light flashes. -There isn't much time left before it explodes, if I can't find a way to stop it...- she shakes her head and quickly gets rid of his hands, reaching the box. For a moment they watch the timer ticking off the seconds. Less than a minute. To be exact, 57 seconds. It's almost certainly activated the moment Luke has lifted the lid. Otherwise they would already be dead, they would be ash. In this way their bodies would become just one, though not in the way they both hoped.

She is the one who grabs his arm, the one with the hand resting on the desk, digging her nails in the flesh of the man. He neither complains nor protests in any way. -It's my fault, I don't leave you alone to die.- she says then, and it seems so much a stupid sentence, came out of one of those action movies that he loves to watch at the cinema. But now that Phil is gone, who can he share these moments with? He should try asking Matt...

She lets him go, ignoring the signs she left him, while he runs his finger on his arm more in a caress than to check the damage. She takes the package with both hands and brings it closer to her. She pulls out the bomb, which has the appearance of a clock radio. Random or ironic choice? She doesn't stop to really ask. -What do you do?- instead, the man asks, observing her precise movements with admiration, feeling increase the attraction he feels towards her (he didn’t believe it was possible).

Penelope wastes no time to turn around to see how surprised he is to see the ex-queen of ice fumbling with that stuff, her fingers painted in the colors of the rainbow being able to open a crack so as to further open the box. -Morgan was in the bomb squad.- she says. Outside she seems so self-confident, but inside she is trembling. -He taught me something...- she adds. She tries not to think about all the opportunities she has missed, about the fact that she could die without knowing if Luke has ever felt something for her, even a bit, just a little something. Even if he just considers her his best friend, because he now holds this role... even if he doesn't know it.

As much as Luke is actually in love with her, he doesn't allow this to cloud his federal brain. -You are sure you know what you are d...- he ventures, but he stops when he sees that series of filaments appear. Just like in the movies. He is no longer so sure that he will continue to love action movies in the same way. Perhaps a good romantic movie would be better. Sir, I promise that if You let us survive, I will ask Penelope if she wants to go to the cinema with me to see one of those tearjerker movies and that I will not fall asleep. He hears his grandmother admonishing him for not choosing a more canonical prayer. Penelope turns to him for less than a nano second, not even the chronometers of formula one would be able to measure precisely how much time has passed. She glares at him with a dirty look. The display, open in two, indicates that 30 seconds are missing. He should take her in his arms and kiss her. At least he would die knowing one thing out of the thousand he would like to find out about his blonde colleague.

Instead, he stays motionless to see her fulfill their destiny, to see her pulling out a knife that he hadn't noticed before from one of the drawers. -Do you have a better plan?- he shakes his head. -Ok, it's going to explode.- 15 seconds. -Ok.- 13, 14. -I’d cut...- 11, 10. An unknown voice, deep, reassuring and definitely not of this world talks inside her. His favorite color, it only suggests. She closes her eyes. But time hasn’t stopped for pity. 7, 6, 5...-…the green.- after having performed her task with surgical precision, Penelope's body decides to abandon the game. Luke, who is exactly behind her, very close, feels a new weight on him and sees her sliding towards the floor. Of course, he catch her before such a catastrophe can occur. He can’t let her die in front of him after they survived an explosion. What she has done is so heroic that perhaps he should lead her to see Wonder woman 1984, instead of Little Women, although it will surely be one of her favorite novels. Or maybe Mulan. In short, he should buy a season ticket.

But now he has other things to think about. He gently rotates the woman 180 degrees, so that he can see her better, especially in the face. If she has lost consciousness, she has already regained it, but she still doesn’t stand up, the weight pushes her down, gravity wants to get the better. Her eyes are narrowed and empty, her fair skin is even whiter and above all, cold. With one arm around her waist he holds her up, completely against him, she can feel her breasts pressed against her chest, but there is no way to get excited, he is too scared. With his other hand he strokes her face. -Garcia, are you okay? Do you feel good?- he watches her eyelids quiver in an attempt to fully open.

She makes an attempt to break away, embarrassed by the situation in which she has placed him, but gives up after a moment. -So... sorry, I didn't want...- she stutters, but she isn't even sure she spoke, because the sentences, the words get confused in her head. -Only...- she gives up, using him as a rescue anchor and concentrating all physical and mental energy on a simple task that she has had to learn and that has perhaps saved her life several times. Breathe in and out, long breaths, bringing oxygen to the brain. But above all by distracting one's mind from the unpleasant thoughts that caused her to faint. Luke is still there hanging from her lips. -My heart, every now and then... it loses a few beats.- she says then, and it could even seem one of her jokes, if she didn't look like a corpse that escaped from the morgue.

The man feels the need to laugh, but not for her phrase. But because once again she managed to amaze him with another absurdity. -There is no reason to apologize.- however, he merely comments, hoping to reassure her. -Hold on to me as long as you need it.- he shivers a little while he says it. How many times has he dreamed of embracing her, really hugging her, not only the thing that she had given him out of pity. But not at the expense of her health.

Penelope nods, just barely, because there is no need to provoke other dizziness. -Ok.- and so they stay there, motionless for at least five minutes, until she decides that she can get by, but for safety she lays a hand on the desk. He looks at her without opening his mouth. -Then, it was fake.- she says, looking towards that confusion of sheets with horrible drawings, colored threads, an empty box. -Why would he send a fake bomb?- she then asks, but she is not demanding a real answer.

She hears Luke heave a long sigh. She cannot know that he practically stopped breathing when he saw her fall to the floor. -I won't be able to defuse explosive devices, but I studied the profile of those ones like Lynch.- he says, activating the federal agent mode, because in the end  he always chooses duty instead of pleasure. And now is not the time to change course. -It was a diversion.- he adds, seeing her frown.

-What do you mean by...- he doesn’t let her end, there is no need.

He stops the hand that was about to touch that device again. What could they expect from someone who wanted to be called the Chameleon? Nothing is as it seems, everything can take on different meanings. A ticking time box is not a bomb in Everett Lynch's world. -I'm not sure .- he leaves her wrist and she just brings her arm against her body. -We have to talk about it with the team.- here again the terror peeps into her brown eyes.

-Oh no, no.- she shakes her head madly. -They'll hate me too. I never wanted...- she has lost color again. This time he doesn't wait for her to fall, he grabs her first.

He massages her back, the shoulder blades to be precise, with skill. -Calm down, breathe, everything is good.- he says at the same time in an obviously calm tone. -No one will hate you.- he then adds, after a moment, moving higher, just a moment on the neck (it is too intimate a part, although too often overlooked), stopping in her hair. -We all know you are the most selfless person on the planet. Unfortunately, this has its collateral aspects, but... it's still worth it.- she raises her face until she meets his sincere gaze and nods. She comes out of his arms but takes his hand and squeezes it tightly.

 In this way, they enter the room, even if no one asks questions about it and after a moment they separate, each reaching their own position. A glance is enough to make her understand that this time she will have to sit quietly, and that the explanation of the case will be up to him, no but. He begins with a neutral: -We have news.- Emily looks at him badly and Rossi barely refrains from choking him, while explaining before the fake device, then of the practically certified author of the gesture, while showing them the offending cardboard and the drawings, carefully wrapped to avoid contamination anyway, even if they are not the CSI' agents. They pass it each other in a silence that seems almost unreal, for that room usually so full of theories, hypotheses, possibilities. All the while he feels the gaze of a particular person on him. What he always wanted, although perhaps in a different circumstance. Unfortunately, he cannot lie to them, even if he would have done it willingly, just to protect her. But the fact that he sent these things to her is a characteristic of his way of acting too important to omit it. In the most delicate way possible, he manages to explain the facts, he provides data, only at the end he says her name. His face changes, it gets tough, like every time he is ready for hand-to-hand combat. He challenges them to say something negative about her, who is aware of having fucked up, but has done it with the best of intentions. And they should know her better than him, since they have had the honor of working with her for more years.

However, he allows JJ to exclaim: -Oh, Garcia, darling.- and he approves with a nod of the head when the blonde reaches Penelope and strokes her shoulder. Prentiss would like to reprimand her, more than anything else hoping that this will push her in the future not to repeat the same mistake... but who is she for judge? It is not certain for Luke's attitude as bodyguard if she doesn’t exercise her role as leader. But because of a name. Doyle.

Agent Alvez continues, by returning to the beginning of his speech. The bomb was fake. He therefore expounds his theory that it could only be a diversion.

And at this point Matt asks the most sensible question, the one that everyone should have asked. -Are you able to find a physical connection that can tell us what his real goal might be?- Luke is already about to respond, but another voice is making itself heard. Ringing, confident, convinced voice.

-Yes, I just spotted it.- she certainly wasn't there to waste time. As she told him long ago, she is very good at multitasking. Luke's voice has been like a sweet background, despite the macabre argument and has lulled her in her digging in the maze of evil. The man hints a small smile in her direction. Proud. Delighted.

 Even there are many things he wanted to do, he adds nothing to that look. He goes out like everyone else, reaches his desk and checks that everything is in his backpack, even if he already knows it is so, because he doesn't need many things and is an extremely precise and orderly type. He certainly doesn't expect her to come to him, as he asked three and a half years ago. Maybe this time the walls really collapsed once and for all.

She stays a few seconds looking at him, standing. -Luke.- he will never get used to hearing her say his name. Needless to say, it is like heavenly music, a choir of angels, a concert for his ears. The sexiest and sweetest thing he has ever heard.

He stands up, letting his eyes fall into the darker ones. -Garcia, are you better?- he asks and really cares to know.

She nods. -Yes, indeed, no.- but then she shakes her head. There is something strange about her again, but he doesn't believe another bomb has come. He watches her hesitating. He meditates for a moment to go around the desk, but then decides to stay where he is. However, within a short time he will have to go away. Evil awaits no one.

-What happens?- he asks, without breaking eye contact. But she reaches out to take one of his hands. He is too shocked to return the hold. He can't think any sensible hypotheses that could push her to do such a thing. Ok, even less than an hour ago she did it, but she had a reason: it was like asking him for confirmation that they were together in front of the team in this thing. Now…

She squeezes it in a convulsive way, her nails pressing on his palm, already rough and full of marks. -I wish I never found that address!- then she exclaims, not shouting but going close, her desperate gaze. It's too much. Luke puts the backpack over his shoulder and reaches for her on the other side. Instead of doing what he thought and desired, however, he starts walking in the direction of the elevators. She keeps up with him. -Please, don't go!- on those dizzying heels that always slender her turned legs. And that distract him from the ongoing conversation.

He blinks twice to collect his thoughts. -What are you saying?- he stops and she, with him, like they were held together by string, like puppets. -You were great, probably thanks to you innocent people will not die.- he believes that she needs to be reassured, and he is not entirely wrong. But he was wrong about the reason.

Her eyes wander without seeming capable of stopping on something. Her hands also move frantically, until she puts both on his muscular arms. Okay, there is definitely something bizarre. However, he cannot skip this mission. It wouldn't be fair and Prentiss wouldn't allow it anyway. He voluntarily avoided telling them about her fainting. -But you all could die.- she says. A twinkle in her pupils, but she's not actually crying. Then, in a much lower tone, she adds: -You could die.- she increases the grip and then suddenly loosens it, almost realizing what she has done.

It is he now who feels the need to restore this contact. -It would not be the first time that we run this risk.- instead he points out. Will he ever choose the easy road instead of the rough one? Useless and rhetorical question. -Why should it be different this time?- he doesn't expect her to answer him. He doesn't even know why he asked that kind of question. In all other cases she would have remained outstanding, lining up with the others.

Not today. They have gone through too many barriers to stop now. -Because... you're different.- he heard right and she has really put emphasis on the pronoun. And her gaze has not wavered. But it can mean everything, make him the happiest man in the universe, like nothing. She could mean it as a way of making him understand that now she has finally fully accepted him in the team, that she loves him... as one of the family. -I am afraid that now that you are no longer...- she adds. Luke can't just shut up.

-Are you afraid that I would play the hero just because I no longer have a girlfriend waiting for me at home?- this time he get the point. Her lost expression confirms it. He shakes his head, annoyed by not having the time to make her understand what he wants. -I'm not so unwary.- instead he just says. -And then I still have Roxy and Lou, to take care of.- he points out, avoiding to add And the team, but above all, you. -You don't have to worry about us, and above all, not about me .- and instead he would like to be selfish. Without asking her, he promises it anyway. -I'll be careful, okay?- too hasty and simplistic in the woman's eyes.

He starts walking again and she clings to his arm. -No! I have a terrible feeling... I feel it.- she tries to explain, but it is impossible. Luke isn't paying attention to her, even if she doesn't think he doesn't give a damn. He is simply too dutiful and has always known it... wasn't it one of the many reasons that led her here, to plead with the scoundrel to stay on the ground? -Like the night my parents died.- she adds this detail, hoping that he can feel pity for her, but this doesn't work either. He continues relentlessly. -Please don't go.- she repeats. She gives no other examples, but in that moment she relives the exact same sensations. Whenever she looked up and counted how many hours or minutes to 18:30, she was just a child, every time the phone rang and no one on the other end answered and she struggled with the urge to scream. And her grandfather had died the only time she had forgotten to call. Too much weight on a little girl's shoulders. Or again her beloved great-aunt, who lived right next to her grandfather and who had proposed to spend time with her after the funeral; and she knew she would have to accept, she knew she would never see her again... but she hadn't been strong enough. Now, in the present, she decides that she will played any cards so as not to lose Luke too. -You know that bombs are placed to hit rescuers, in many cases.- a thought that came out of nowhere, which doesn’t belong to him.

The man sighs. He would like to be able to tell her that she is right, with all his heart, just to see her smile. But he can't. -The Chameleon is not a bomber.- he points out kindly. -It's another kind of killer.- he shrugs and runs his tongue over the palate. -I'm sorry, Penelope.- he touches her arm in a gesture that seems all too friendly, at least for his taste. Even if he wishes to drag her against his chest and to kiss her properly, a kiss that contains all the statements he cannot make. -I have to go.- he starts again and like the previous times, her alarmed voice has the power to block him.

-I can't do anything to stop you?- there would be ways, but he's not going to let his brain flood him with red-light Penelope images. However, he already has a good supply and if anything, he will think about it in the downtime in the car.

He turns back to her. -I don’t think.- and suddenly, the stroke of genius. He approaches her. -Listen to me, when I return you will explain to me where all this anxiety for my safety comes from.- he winks at her, but doesn’t give her time to reply, enjoying that red mouth ajar only for him. -We can go for a walk with Roxy and Lou and laugh at all this in front of... a cup of tea?- he proposes. For him it is almost an appointment and even if it will not be at the beginning... it will become so for the end of the evening.

Objective partially achieved. She is smiling. -I... I'd like to, but...- but it doesn't last long, because there are still all those fears that press on her heart and lungs, preventing her from breathing properly.

However, she is interrupted by another male voice. -Luke, we're leaving.- he turns and nods to Matt, who returns him with a strange look. Maybe he will have something to discuss with him too... He sighs and focuses on the blonde again.

-As you would say, duty calls.- the joke doesn’t have the power to make her laugh.

She stops him one last time. -Wait up. There's one thing you need to know before you go.- they are really there. He is a fucking profiler and here in front he has all the significant signs: dilated pupils, sweating slightly above the norm but cold hands, redness on the cheeks, look in general bewildered. -I have... I have...- he would like to shake her and instead he does nothing.

Another voice, this time feminine, authoritarian. -Alvez!- but he can't listen to her right now. For once, duty can wait. A few seconds more.

-Do you have what?- he urges her. Prentiss electrocutes him from inside the elevator.

A second before he gets on board and before the doors close, he seems to hear her saying -...a crush on you.- he could blame his desires that push him to see what doesn’t exist, if it wasn't that he, unfortunately, can read lips.

 Usually she waits for them to call her and notify her that the mission has been successfully completed. This time, however, it is impossible for her to bear the tension of not knowing. She struggles with herself until she gives in and calls JJ, explains (little) the situation and promises to allow her to listen. She never did it. The explosion deafens her for a few minutes. She can only hear a high-pitched whistle in her ears and it's not because Luke is thinking about her. Luke. Thinking about the man's name is the most (wrong) thing she could do. The view fogs up, everything turns white and then black, the absolute emptiness.

Across the line, JJ tries to get in touch with her friend, to warn her that they have managed to save the family that the Chameleon wanted to hit. -Garcia, we did it.- no answer. -Garcia, we're all fine, can you hear me?- nothing to do, still silence. She shakes her head, glancing in alarm at the boss. -She doesn't answer.- she only mentioned something of her strange request. Penelope certainly doesn’t have exclusivity regarding the catastrophic premonitions.

-Maybe the line went down.- Tara considers. But the little blonde shakes her head.

She points to the screen that indicates that the call is still in progress. -No, look. Garcia! Garcia, answer!- only Agent Simmons notices the colleague and friend is heading towards one of the hummers with the clear intention of getting on board. And also, his expression. Despite his soot-covered face, he has managed to spot the terror on his face perfectly.

He follows him, putting a hand on his arm and forcing him to stop. -Alvez, what are you doing?- the other doesn't answer. -We should let them examine us.- he reminds him then. This is the protocol. Even if no one seems to have been injured, a checkup doesn't hurt. Certain problems are not visible... especially after a trauma such as a detonation.

But Luke shakes his head, trying to free himself. He has lost all sorts of brake and doesn’t care anything that his friend can understand the exact meaning of his sentence. -There is no time, I have to go to her.- Matt lets him go and shakes his head in turn.

-You can't go alone.- he says then. He goes around the car and sits in the passenger seat. -I come with you.- Agent Alvez doesn’t pay particular attention to him. He starts with a skid like in a rally, not that he didn’t know that his was an abrupt driving, but...

-Luke, will you explain to me what's going on?- he asks, holding on to the handle, while his body is thrown in every area of the car, despite wearing the belt. Fortunately, he is still wearing also the bulletproof vest. It helps him.

Luke grants him a quick answer, while he is overtaking for the third time in less than a minute. -I can't, I have to stay focused on driving.- Matt widens his eyes and feels that there is nothing he can do to stop the comment from coming out.

-If you had left the wheel to me...- he gets a bad look in return. Then he changes his strategy. -Get into an accident will not help Garcia.- he hits the target. The ship is about to sink. Luke sighs, taking a curve with a little too much momentum.

-I know.- he admits. -But...- he has to tell him, also because he needs to talk to someone about it. Because every second that passes could be a bit much. Too late. -I think she's had heart problems since Battle shot her.- she hasn't confirmed it, but it's easy enough to do the math. -Today, when we opened the first package... she fainted.- the detail that changes the final composition. Now Simmons is also worried.

But he tries to keep calm. He wants to see Kristy and the kids again. He is about to become a father for the fifth time. He cannot die in such a pathetic way. -Prentiss called Anderson, you'll see that...- the other man nods. There are still many things that he hasn't said to him and that would help him understand the reason for all this apprehension.

-I know, but I think seeing me could help her get better.-

 He has no time to waste with unnecessary elevators. He throws himself up the stairs, eating three steps at a time and risking tripping several times. Tomorrow his knees will present him the bill. He is trained, but not for this. As they ran like crazy Emily called to warn them that Penelope was with Agent Anderson in a small room with a sofa. Alive, she pointed out. She hadn't wanted to go to the hospital. He burst into the room so sharply to risk letting the door out of its hinges. He has to force himself to calm down, otherwise it won't help her. He meets the gaze of the man, who nods and leaves the room. Good old Anderson, so intuitive. He sits in his place, much closer. He strokes her hair and cheeks. -Garcia, hey, Garcia, I'm here, do you see me?- she slowly opens her eyes. He sees her glasses on the table next to him and places them on her nose. -I'm fine.- he says, barely realizing he's using the same tone he does when talking to Roxy. Sweet, caressing and full of love.

She blinks several times. -Lu... Luke.- a weak smile curls her lips. Maybe she's thinking it's a dream. She needs a concrete gesture. Gathering all the courage in his own hands, he gently takes her by the shoulders, until her head is rested on his legs.

She looks at him without saying anything. -Yes, it's me.- He doesn't stop caressing her, touching her. -The team is coming, we're all fine.- he didn't have a hallucination, before they left she told him she had a crush. It is little compared to what he feels, but it is a beginning. -Ok?- she just nods. -And you will be fine too, do we agree?- another small movement of the head that tickles him, despite the layers of fabric between her hair and his skin.

-O... ok.- she even struggles to say. But she has something to add. -Roxy...- he understands exactly what she is referring to, not just about his dog.

He sets her hair better so that it doesn't bother her. -If you recover, we will take that walk, or you could come to my place anyway, or we could come to yours.- yes, because it is excluded that he will leave her alone tonight, if they should also force her or him to go to the hospital... they will still be together. End of discussion. -You don't have to worry about this.- an imperceptible pause, especially for her who is so weak. -In fact, you don't have to worry about anything.- he watches her eyes close again and after a few minutes the weight on his legs increases. Out of the corner of his eye he sees a blanket and doesn’t wonder with too much interest who brought it there or what it served before. He lays it on her sleeping body and lets himself go to his thoughts, leaning his back better.

It spends about an hour like this. The team have arrived, but only JJ has been sent on a mission to check the situation. She has looked through, watched them, she has smiled and left. No other visit since this. It is the voice of his angel that awakens him from torpor. -Luke.- she sounds much more determined and confident.

He sighs, preparing for detachment. -Hey, how are you feeling?- he observes her red cheeks as she pulls up from his legs. Penelope doesn't answer. -I think it is better to postpone the walk.- he says then, but sees her eyes wide, already shiny. -No, don't make that face.- he strokes her cheek. She follows the movement of his hand in detail. -You will still see Lou and Roxy.- he reassures her. He stands up. He sees her shoes and hands them to her. -I'll take you home, let's go.- he reaches out and after a hesitation she grabs his hand.

They walk towards the elevators. No one in sight, not even Anderson. -Luke, I... here, I'm sorry to have...- she hates being so fragile, stupid and emotional. -It was selfish to tell you that way.- she finally manages to say. He stops, shakes his head.

He presses the button to call the elevator back to their floor. -No, you are anything but selfish.- he replies then, in a tone that doesn’t allow replies. He lets her go first but doesn’t stray too far from his body. There is only one thing he cares to know. -But was it the truth?- she looks at him and just the way she does it is an answer. But then she nods, blushing again. He enjoys that awareness for a moment. Now he knows it's true. Now he knows he will be happy. That he will can no longer see only the gray of the world. That he will be forced to strive to be happy. -You are not obliged to answer me, but... how long?- well, maybe there is another question that interests him. But compared to the former it is secondary. She fiddles with shoes.

She bites her lips. -I think... since you joined the team.- she closes her eyes and lets the truth come out. -At least.- because she said it without saying it. Such a long crush is not a crush. You don't need to be a profiler to figure it out.

The revelation, however, manages to surprise him. -What? It would mean... three years.- he follows her towards the exit, in the direction of the parking lot. -Why didn't you ever tell me?- she looks at him while he opens the car door and helps her to get in. If it had been up to him, he would have even picked her up and placed her on the seat but he doesn't want to frighten her.

She wait for him to sit behind the wheel. -Because... at the beginning I didn't want and I didn't admit it with myself until last year.- revelation number two (or three, if you count how long this "crush" lasted). -And then anyway you found Lisa. And I was really happy for you two.- revelation number three (four). -I didn't want you broken up with her.- Luke nods, shifting into first gear and gently pressing on the accelerator. Nothing similar to what he did a few hours ago.

-I know, better, I guess.- he gives her a single glance, promising the Lord that he will drive perfectly and will also strive in the future, if he will not make him die tonight from internal bleeding caused by the explosion in which he was been involved. Since he just can't go to the hospital.

They spend a few minutes in silence. Then she breaks it. -Can I ask you something? Why are you taking me to your house anyway?- it's his turn of the big revelations, but he never imagined his van as a setting.

He barely doesn’t break the promise made to the Creator. -I will answer to you soon, when we arrive.-

 About six months later

The blonde looks around, looking for no one knows what. -Oh, Luke, I don't know if we should do it.- he knew this would come. He was just waiting for the exact moment. -We can still undo everything, can't we?- he breathes, inhales, exhales, before answering.

-Of course, but they'll be disappointed.- and they lost two days that they could spend in very different time activities, to organize everything on time.

Penelope caresses her arms. -It's just that... it's all...- she gesticulates and then shakes her head, giving up searching for the right term to express her thoughts. -I don't know.- he nods, but before trying to make her change her mind, he needs to know one thing.

-Do you want to cancel only the party or even the rest?- because together they have made a lot of steps forward in this period, but the road is still long. He hopes it never ends.

The woman silences all his fears instantly. -No!- she protest, as if he had said the stupidest thing in the universe. And indeed, it is so. -I could never wish to not be with you.- she has to remind him and to do the same for herself. Sometimes. Fewer and fewer, but occasionally they still need it. -And don't think it's because I'm ashamed of you or us.- but of course, he thought so. As much as this is even more ridiculous. What else could he have imagined? -It's just that... I've never been the type that does things like this.- here, she has said it. The time has come for declaration number 5 (or 555).

Finally, now that he knows that everything is still fine, that in any case they will stay together, Luke approaches and wraps his arms around her soft body, which is perfectly shaped on his muscled one. -Look at that, neither do I.- he teases her, making a grimace and getting a chuckle. -Do you not remember that Rossi accused me of being afraid to make a gesture to formalize my relationship with Lisa, when I didn't want to organize that housewarming party?- Penelope changes expression. Well yes, Garcia also knows the feeling with green eyes, the Jealousy.

She gives him a push on the chest to punish him. -Yes, I remember it better than I would have liked.- she comments, rolling her eyes. It's not that strange. Less than a year has passed since this house looked different, although the furniture has remained almost the same and although he intends to mention sooner or later the idea of moving to another apartment, chosen together in every detail, which would be really only them.

But this is not the right time. An anxiety at a time, thank you. -And now this house is ours.-he underlines the last word in particular, with the tone and with a raised eyebrow. -We are on the same boat, Penelope. And I want to continue rowing.- at this joke she can't make it, she rolls her eyes to the sky.

-You are a poet, Alvez.- she comments. But he is not fooled by the playful air. Now that he knows her well, really, tha he has gone beyond Garcia to discover Penelope, he knows that her jokes and the whole apparatus are mainly a shield between her and the world. Well, with him she has to deactivate the alarm system.

-We ended up together without either of us saying it clearly to the other one.- then he starts listing. -We began to live together gradually, once again, without announcing it to anyone.- she just follows him with her eyes, now serious again, but not excessively frightened. -We kept it for ourselves for a while, until you said you were ready.- she stretches out her hand to caress his just about everywhere. When Luke Alvez is your boyfriend, there are no limits to be respected. You can start from one cheek and then move on the chest and count each muscle, end up on his groin, go up from the lower back and get stuck between his dark curls.

He particularly loves when she wanders this way along his body. But he can't afford to get excited. Little is missing for the arrival of the team, the other friends, the whole world, practically. Even if everyone knows (or imagines) that Penelope is able to excite her (almost really) fiance, it is better that they don't have clear proof of it. He stops her hand and prefers to place it on his heart. She gladly accepts. -I am aware of it, and thank you for your infinite patience.- she says at the end.

-There is no need, because I would do anything to make you feel good. I didn't know before- and how the fuck that simple adverb of time weighs -of all your fears about getting serious in a relationship, even if someone had mentioned something about a rejected marriage proposal...- she puts her hands behind his neck to draw him closer and the man imitates her.

-JJ, right?- she asks, their lips so close, yes, exactly, close.

-I didn't say anything.- Luke jokingly defends himself. Then he goes back to his speech. -I never thought that I would have liked to share a house and my whole life with one single person... indeed, with nobody.- here we are at revelation number 6. -Except Roxy.- he adds, making her laugh, this time really, because it comes from the heart. -I didn't even think that I would ever want to get married or have a family.- the embedded fingernails in his hairline transmit more her terror than that look. -Just... it wasn't in my plans.- but she won't let him get off that so easy.

-Luke...- she just says. Sometimes a name is enough.

He drags her close to him, so that she can actually feel the result of her actions. -Hey, this is not a proposal, I can do much better.- and it's true. And she knows it. As he knows that she never really wanted to get married, just like him, who loves all children but never wanted to grow up one of her own, but... -I just wanted you to understand that... you are that person with whom all these things don't make me fear.- but Penelope also knows that with him... damn, it's exactly like Luke said.

She is afraid, indeed not, she is really terrified, but not enough to blow everything up, as she did with the others. Maybe because the others just weren't the right person and they really couldn't have supposed to be, or Luke wouldn't be. And you know Luke is. You didn't want it because you already knew it, how it would end. -Well, but you also lived with Lisa.- she replies, to appease the thoughts that are running through her head, uncontrolled.

He nods. -But with her it was... it was the right thing to do.- she will never understand this, but he doesn't care. -With you, on the other hand... it was what I dreamed of the most in the world.- here, he has ruined her make-up. Only half an hour to try to repair the damage.

And Luke obviously has other intentions. -I hope the guests arrive early, because you are out of control now...- he laughs, giving her reason, but it is she who presses her lips first against the male ones. -I hope you're satisfied, because it's your fault if we organized this party.- she warns him.

-Oh, but I know that we are only at the beginning.-

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[agl03]

“A Life Spent” Promo Breakdown

This was one of those promo’s that has a mix of new and old footage and some of what was in there was from the Premiere.  As alwasys spoilers could totally kill these.   

Daisy and Deke are getting along splendidly.  Deke is rightly worried that the team will draw too much undue attention to them and eventually I’m afraid someone is going to get hurt.   Daisy going after Jemma is going to be incredibly dangerous and not just for herself.  It looks like Daisy is going to set off on her own at least initally, Deke will probably show up at some point to help her out.

Coulson in his quarters and in his Space PJ’s.  In the promo pics and other shots from the episode he’s still in his ‘diner’ outfit.  So this is either from a future episode or the end.  Not sure what happens that leads to Coulson losing his shirt and jacket either, I just know its not going to be pretty.

Both Tess and Deke have their hands full with the team simply keeping them in line, alive, and from getting anyone else killed.  The team trying to figure out a way home, like Daisy going for Jemma, is likely to make waves and draw some very unwanted attention.  And like Daisy, I don’t think that those in the ‘mines’ are initially going to listen.  I’ve got a bad feeling about Tess guys, I feel her life is going to be the one spent and her death is going to hit them all hard, but Mack especially.  

Its the Space Bus AKA the Trawler, I love it already, no blowing this one up okay Kolpack.

Ugh, Count Creepy and his Creepy Ball Lady Bodyguard.   He’s got guests coming and like everything else here I don’t think we’re going to like who these newcomers are, some sort of rulers (Lady Basha).  Also interesting is the very human looking guy there listed in as Tye in IMDB.  

“We have a problem and for your sake I pray you can fix it,”  I think this will be tied to the visitors.  He will either need Jemma’s medical expertise, he knows the truth of who she is and is after her Inhuman expertise, or something no on my radar yet.  Also floating around is in the comics the Kree Race is dying and there is a group that values its genetic purity.  

Getting long so under the thing.

When the Kree had Mack and Yoyo they mentioned sending Mack to fight in the Crater or to Kasius as Jemma has been.  I’m guessing this is the Crater and its some kind of gladiator kind of fighting place that no doubt someone on the team will land in at some point.

Coulson wants to take the Space Bus out for a spin to look for clues, Tess not so much.  You can see here and in other shots that Coulson has the notebook he found of Virgil’s (which is very possibly Fitz’s).  Mack and May at least are heading out to check things out.

Daisy starts to make it into the upper levels of the the Lighthouse, cue fight scene.

There are Inhumans, and the two seen in the promo are children.  I won’t be surprised if the Kree aren’t taking the Inhumans as they find them among the humans and using them for weapons (as the original experiment intended) or something worse.   Jemma seems to have been sent to take care/look after this Inhuman...and I’m preparing for kick in the feels due to a later screenshot.  What I’m not sure of is if The Company brings them or if Kasius has them elsewhere in the lighthouse.  

Daisy’s made a new friend...don’t get attached.  He talks about “he” destroying the station and everyone on it.  Unless Kasius has a way out and something better waiting for him...I’m not sure if its him.  He’s not listed on the Press Release for 3, but he is on for 4 as Ben.   So this could be for 4 or he was left off for one reason or another.

May is done...big fight scene.

May vs. Sinara.  But what I found MUCH more interesting about this is where the fight is taking place.  A lab, and one that looks pretty in tact considering the rest of the station.  To me this could be an area that was either hidden or sealed off.  Also Sinara saw May with Jemma so that could contribute to this fight and if May injures Sinara that could be the thing Jemma has to fix.

Mack on the Space Bus or some sort of close quarters and I’m guessing he’s having his words with Zev, Grill’s right hand.  Don’t think Zev makes it out of 3 either.

Poor Abby (the Inhuman Jemma is with earlier) has been forced to Fight the Beast.  I warned you there would be feels.  

More May taking on Kree, looks like we see where she gets the ax from (also betting this could be the foundation for Mack’s Space Shotgun Ax).

I can’t tell who is fighting with May here,but I think its Daisy by how he’s blasted into the wall.

Oh look there is Ben again, looks like its his turn in the arena and he has some sort of super strength or its someone weaker trying to land a punch.  

Daisy is fighting Kree all over the Lighthouse and how she’s found a hydroponics lab of sorts.  Both Kasius and those in Processing were had plants here and there in Orientation. 

There is no indication in the promo if Daisy makes it to Jemma or if she is detoured by new problems that crop up.   

That’s it for now based on the promo!

[twdmusicboxmystery]

2017 Re-Watch: 7x11 - Hostiles and Calamities

So this is the episode where Eugene is taken into the sanctuary and becomes a card-carrying member of Negan's team. I talked about most of the symbols around Eugene already HERE. The lobster and the author he mentions are both indicative of Oceanside.

We also see pickles around him a lot in this episode. (X, X) In fact, I believe it was this episode that led me to formulate the whole Eugene/Pickles/St. Nicholas theory. 

In his fridge are apples, mustard, pickles, water bottles (reminds me of Aaron leaving water bottles for TF in 5x10; remember Eugene tried to test them) and a lot of greens. 

We also see alcohol bottles. Most are brown, but one, in the back (kind of hidden) is obviously green.

We also see the dartboard in his room. It's different than the ones we seen in the past because it's all yellow with no green or red on it. I'll come back to that.

There's a foreshadow when Negan asks Dwight (who's in Daryl's cell as punishment for Daryl's escape) "You gonna change your stripes on me, Dwighty-Boy?" Dwight answers and spends the rest of the episode convincing Negan that he is loyal. But it's a foreshadow that Dwight would change his stripes and go over to help Rick and TF. At one point, Negan asks "who are you?" Dwight immediately replies, "I'm Negan." So once again we have evidence that he's the anti-Daryl.

The doctor says, "You get it," which mirrors Beth's line. "I get it now." And it works well because many people have theorized that Beth meant she understood the corruption of the system and what was expected from one to stay alive. He truly understood the Grady system in all its hypocrisies. The doctors uses it the same way here. He recognizes that Dwight knows what it takes to survive under Negan's rule.

Of course, Dwight's car is almost exactly the same as Beth's.

Here's something intriguing:

Not only does a fish point to Oceanside but there's things hidden in it. Which might show something hidden will come out of Oceanside. Dwight pulls both cigarettes and Sherry's note (a major parallel to Beth's journal and thank you note) from the fish. This feels like a symbolic way of saying Beth (and perhaps Sherry?) will come out of Oceanside.

When Dwight takes off to go to the cabin and look for Sherry, the camera pans down so we can see his reflection in the puddle on the ground. (I'm not sure if it's meant to be water or blood; it's in the parking lot where Joey was killed) but you can't really see Dwight very well. The reflection is dark and murky, and he almost looks like Daryl. Not sure what they're going for, but it's interesting.

When Eugene is with this blond chick, she says, "beer, bread, cut your head.” For the record, beer = moonshine, Beth's name means bread or house of bread, and the “cut your head” bit is pretty obvious, yeah? She also says it's his lucky day. (Luck Theory) And she gets him the pickles. Lots of interesting symbols there.

Eugene specifically says he doesn't have an eidetic memory. That means a photographic memory. I feel like there's some symbolism in that. We see a photograph of Sheri and Dwight, and we've seen some other pictures throughout the seasons, but I also wonder if we could somehow link it to Beth's memory loss. I'm not sure exactly how and maybe I'm reaching, but it jumped out at me as kind of a strange reference to throw in.

Eugene also mentions T. Brooks Ellis again when he starts reciting his same old story from before about the cure. I'm not sure if it's important that he says the name again, but remember that there were 3 names on the sign that Aaron and Rick found, as well as for the man Eastman killed. It's kinda suspicious that he says the name again but I'm not sure what it necessarily portends. Maybe a callback to S5/Self Help, which was happening concurrent with Grady?

 Eugene tells Negan to use metal to protect the walkers and weld them to the fence. It's the fulfillment of a foreshadow from S6.  

He particularly emphasizes that it will protect the head from trauma and then adds in, "from hostiles and calamities." Sounds like a Beth reference.

Okay, so check out these two references. “The bulk of my work for the HGP fell under the auspices of the Black Box Program…” As an idiom, that just means it was top secret ad he couldn't talk about it. But I wondered if it could mean anything more. Look at this:

So I'm side-eyeing the fact that it means the inner workings are hidden (that could be a Beth thing) and also notice that it mentions the human brain.

The “opaque” bit reminds me of the blurry blond we saw in the 6b promo pics:

I also noticed that a Savior comes out while Eugene is getting ready to set off his fire works. The girls call him Keno. I wondered if there was meaning in that. Some definitions I found for the word Keno:

1 – A game of luck or chance. (Luck Theory anyone?)

2 – Someone who doesn’t take shit from anyone.

3 – The base of the word “kenosis” which is a word from Christian culture meaning to “empty oneself” and be totally open to God’s will.

Not sure what they’re going for, but kind of interesting definitions.

We can add Dwight's cabin here to the cabin motif. It looks like the moonshine shack and the cabin in the picture when Tyreese died. Then the cabin that Carol is now living at outside the kingdom.

So something occurred to me while watching this: this is the fourth cabin we've seen like that and it's also the fourth instance of the dartboard I can think of. Not really sure what to make of that, other than the first cabin and dartboard appearing in Still, which was in season four. S8 will be 4 seasons later. And the dartboard is yellow which = escape. Just an observation.

HERE's my original analysis on Sherry's note and all of the symbols in the cabin, including beer and pretzels. Beer obviously links to Still. Pretzels have a very Christian connotation. One of the notes mentions goldfish which is a and Oceanside/fish reference.

 Check out: Comparing Voice Overs and How it Helps TD. 

At one point in her note, Sherry says, "You're lucky you don't remember things. D." Jumped out at me because of The Lucky Theory, as well as a memory sort of thing.

I had someone asked me to do a Master Post on parallels between Bethyl and Sherry/Dwight and also between Bethyl and Amber/Mark. I haven't gotten around to it yet and I can't promise I will before the season starts (though I'll try).

Sherry specifically tells Dwight that she felt like she was dead, and that's why she had to leave. She said the sanctuary was not worse than death. Being there was worse. So she had to let leave in order to live emotionally. I'm just thinking that with all the other Sherry/Beth parallels, we have her separating from Dwight in order to gain emotional strength.

For Amber, we found out that her mom needed meds, and that's why she became one of Negan's wives. That MIGHT correlate to Beth. We can't say for sure until we see her again and know what her medical condition is, but it also strikes me that Tina needed meds, which is why she, Sherry and Dwight left to begin with. We've known for a long time that Tina is a proxy to Beth. So, if both Tina and Amber, who seem like parallels a Beth, needed meds, chances are Beth will need them in some capacity too.

Another possible parallel with Amber is that the other two wives told Eugene that Amber wanted to commit suicide. It wasn't actually true (that we know of; she definitely seems depressed). They just wanted Eugene to make the pill so they could kill Negan. But we have a case where somebody says she wants to commit suicide but it's not really true. It seems like a season 3 to Beth reference because Andrea said Beth thought she wanted to commit suicide, but really she wanted to live.

The lady Eugene took stuff from (including the grumbling gunk), her number was 16. We've seen that number a lot since Coda and it's probably important that it's around Eugene. It generally means life and reunion with TF. More evidence that Eugene's arc will be entangled with Beth in some way.

It's also significant that Dwight says Sherry died. That gives yet another parallel between Daryl and Beth because Daryl thinks Beth died, but really she's alive somewhere and just missing.

Also, Dwight was responsible for getting Dr. Carson killed, right? So, to save Sherry, Dwight frames the doctor. That's an anti-parallel to Grady. In that case, the doctor (Edwards) framed Beth to survive. Given the Dwight and Sherry are the anti-Bethyl this anti-parallel works well.

I also think that we have a foreshadow of Dwight's death here. Don't know if he'll die soon or not for several seasons, but I think I might know how. Before killing Dr. Carson, Negan says that if Dwight is lying and Sherry is alive out there somewhere, he'll find her and then burn Dwight's face until he dies. I don't think Dwight is particularly worried about that right now but it feels like a dialogue foreshadow. Negan will probably find out sooner or later that Dwight lied about Sherry and kill him for it.

HERE'S is my post about all the different songs that were in this episode. Most are very suspicious and have lots of potential TD symbols.

That's it for this episode. Thoughts?

[beedalee]

what are the stories/projects you work on or involved with?

EDIT 2019: FOR AN UPDATED LIST, GO HERE!

Oh gosh, it’s been a bit since I did a rundown of them… (I need to update my project lists tbh… ugh..) I’ve been working really hard on consolidating my characters and stories these last few years so I’m rightfully proud of my progress.. Even if no one can tell yet but me!! >8//); 

Despite how many we have, only a few of them I seriously want to bring to completion and/or publish first and foremost. The rest are really just for fun until I/we feel like they could become something bigger. Also, Dye has involvement in most of my stories whether it be a full collab or just helping!

It’s a long post… so, BELOW THE CUT WE GO!

Collaborations 

(with @dyemelikeasunset)

Ocean of Cycles: Our 4th Collab- Dye’s world-building project that I have the honor of helping flesh out. While we have our OCs and want to make it RPG ready for others to play in for fun, and we think making a book of the completed world-building someday would be fukken awesome, it’s largely a stress relief and creative outlet for Dye and I, so we’re not in a rush nor can Dye’s schedule allow for full-time work on it. Like Dye, I would like to do mini-comics about their adventures myself as well!!

Picture This Imagine That: (sorry this art is 4yrs old… T//w//T) Our third collaboration; Started small but became our means of reconciling our identities and coming out. After we came out some years ago, we put this one down to handle real life stuff and grow up a bit- but we do still fully intend to draw and publish their stories, we just took it offline and pulled back to a much more relaxed pace until it’s actually ready.

Solaris: Our second collaboration. Originally an Avatar: The Last Airbender fanstory, transplanted into an original universe. I’d really love to bring this one to life as a comic, but the plot hasn’t been finished yet! We love this one  to bits though and I’d consider it a likely choice down the road sometime.

White|Outlines: Technically our first collaboration, a soft slice of life about troubled supernatural teenagers. My branch in the same universe/highschool as Dye’s SalaDays story (No, the SD cast doesn’t really interact with mine)  I made this because Dye used to have the world open for RP, but we’ve long since closed it off. (That’s more geared toward OoC now) I don’t really have plans for pursuing this one outside of for fun!

Unlucky: A fun slice-of-life meets shounen kind of story set in a tightly knit chinatown. Dye helped create the bulk of this verse for a lot of homeless/floating OCS, like Quinn and Airi from my old beckoning cat magical girls team, Jake and Evelyn from anirangers, Tyberius and Farah from wwp’s “D’Amatos” godfather-parody show… stuff like that. It’s a bit more on the world-building side right now but I hope to draw things for it soon.

I also play around in or help with some of Dye’s more solo works like Kingdoms or Romaine Hearts, as well as a few offline projects that aren’t super involved/developed yet.

Magical Girls: 

(yes it gets its own section)

Forecasters:  My lovebaby of a story, featuring weather magical girls. My only active personal project that I want to make into a full blown webcomic right now. It’s 99.7% offline atm, I started this in 2013 after we put down PT. There’s still a lot to do, but I’m really excited about this one. It’s like my self-imposed college final project and/or legitimate story pitch I guess? I wanna post promo art for it so bad but I want at least the first two chapters drawn before that so bear with me…

Starless: Alien powered magical girls. Created from old (2008) tokyo mew mew OCs! The story’s been a bit ambiguous lately but I am very fond of this one and would consider it one I’d like to complete/draw for someday if the plot lets me WRITE IT lmao. Dye is helping me by adopting some of the characters!

Minor  MG Stories: (click the link in the last bullet to see pics of these)

“Book Keepers”: Literature theme college magical girls, collabed with Dye. Currently just a loose idea with really fun fleshed out OCs, but not a super high priority.

“Candyland”: NEW! Candy themed magical girls. A tentative title for a bunch of OCs I’ll be posting soon enough so I guess I’ll add them now. Some of them are old af, some are super new. They’re just an early concept and a bit of a style-experiment.

Cheers!: Drink-themed magical girls. A very old team I don’t really plan on doing anything with right now, just currently trying to redesign them to my liking.. -stares holes into them- LET ME LOVE YOU

Cosmic Club! another design prompt with no story.. YET…. I love them and they seem v popular so it’s possible! We’ll see how it goes.

Even more magical girls over here in this list but are all in a similar ‘concepts only at this time’ status (Lucky is on this list but is no longer a magical girl series)

My Projects:

Shards of Moon: A fateful fantasy epic about birds and songs. Formerly Anathema, the first fully fleshed out “serious” story I wrote… It was terrible! It was merged with another story that had no characters, so all my oldest OCs live here now. I’m very very fond of this one but I’m letting it percolate very slowly. It’s a far off goal for now, but it is shaping up to be a story I’d like to tell.

Sleep Tight: About a little girl and her boogeyman and conquering fear. The second story I wrote in high school. This one needs… a lot of rework and a bit of gutting- I haven’t decided the direction I wanna take it yet, but I don’t mind waiting. (I mean, look at what happened to Shards of Moon- I was so sure I’d trash that whole story and its characters.)

Superglue: I have like NO new art for this one yet lmao.. Young superheroes dealing with past actions they ran away from. A third high-school story that has changed so dramatically it’s not even remotely similar to its first version. It’s basically a baby story with old re-homed OCs in it because I felt sorry for them. ;w;;; I don’t know how far this one will take off yet but yeah

Others:

I’m gonna get ta’ play in @caiterprince​’s universes with Dye too, including the WIP Magical Girl Academy as a means to flesh out more magical girl designs (Eden is the most familiar, but I’ll have more soon), and a few cameos in Plainer in Hindsight and Weaver’s Debt eventually

Fancharacters like my SU gemsonas, my ponies, and my Tokyo Mew Mew OCs are purely for fun. If I want to write an original story about the characters (which has happened, see Solaris and Starless) I’d transplant them first.

I have a few other concepts laying around- placeholders like “fairyverse” or “spacewitchverse” where I throw similar-theme homeless OCs but don’t have a single story idea for, it’s just.. there. for now. So I won’t bother going over those. 

AUs (like elf gfs Band AU) don’t really count as separate unless they become canon. (i.e. what happened with Solaris)

If anyone’s really curious on the development of my worlds and ocs, I honestly highly taking a peek through my sketchdump folder on my DA. (start at the bottom, its infinite scroll) You can find pretty much everything I’ve ever conceptualized in these. I started to sort dumps by story- there’s actually quite a bit of storytelling / oc growth nestled in there if you’re into that sorta info-binging. I-I think it’s kinda fun tbh…. I do apologize in advance for any slurs or problematic wording you may find in the oldest dumps, I’ve been cleaning it over the years but might’ve missed something.

That’s about it for now! (-sweats violently- no more pls i have… too many children.. -wheezes and lays down-)

[valeriemperez]

is it true that the new writer(sterling) created or writes about KF in the comics. B/c that's what SBs are saying and I'm really confused lolll

He wrote the first Caitlin-style Killer Frost arc in the comics, yes. Forever Evil: A.R.G.U.S. #1-6, so hopefully he can contribute knowledge of what her character and powers should actually be like. He also wrote Vibe #4-10.

If you’re confused because you think it means something good for SB, I doubt it does. He’s also written a bunch of Supergirl and Superman comics, and even wrote the Bart Allen issues of Flashpoint.

In the Terminal Velocity storyline, Wally became one with the SF and lost his humanity to save Linda, even though he was eventually let go. So when Barry gets out in S4, do you think that some of his humanity will be gone and he will have to readjust living a normal life again?

Yes, a similar situation (in reverse?) happens to Barry when he gets out of the speedforce in the first Rebirth. I’m sure Barry will have some adjusting to do, I just hope it’s not depressing and is instead humorous - more like 3.21.

I’d have to agree about the last scene. We just dealt with Savitar and it seems like it came out of nowhere. If it was a hint of a villain playing tricks on Barry and the team that would force him to go into the SF, then sure. But I feel it was out of place with the rest of the episode.

I understand how it might feel out of place for the episode itself, but I think it was poetic justice for the whole season. It began with Barry using the speedforce for selfish purposes and ended with him selflessly giving himself up to the speedforce.

Iris West-Allen: Finishing S3 on top. Literally. With the most screen time for the women AND defeating this season’s big bad. My love for Iris is completely irrevocable now. Kevin Smith was right. Despite having no superpowers, she is a true superhero.

Super proud of our girl!

Do you think there’s any significance to Iris seemingly coming in contact with the energy/matter from the Philosopher’s Stone?

I had not thought about it before I saw @liquidheartbeats‘s post on it, but I like the idea a lot! She might have temporary superpowers, or it might allow her to wear a speedster suit (like Candice has been hoping) in order to get Barry out of the speedforce.

About what the anon said about Barry readjusting to life after coming out of the Speedforce. I do hope it’s not anything like Buffy, The Vampire Slayer. When she died and was brought back, she was depressed, because she found peace. Now I believe that Barry may have found that paradise in the SF, but he has Iris to keep him grounded and going off the rails. So I hope we get about two episodes of the angst, but that’s it. Another other readjustments need to be light and maybe even comical.

Exactly. That’s why I say it’s better to approach it like 3.21, or even like Terminal Velocity did rather than Rebirth. When Wally got out, he was so happy to be back with Linda and that was what mattered. Whereas Barry had a bit of a phantom limb situation going on, so I think there can be a happy medium. Barry can be happy and excited to be back, but get reckless or feel invincible, or somehow miss whatever rush or peace he had in the speedforce.

Wait. I’m confused to how Barry created the SF. Is it because he was the only Speedster on E1 at the time and therefore the SF came into being?

He was the first speedster… I feel like on any Earth. Jay and Max technically came before, but the explanation is that Barry created the speedforce first and then it touched those people in the past. Because time exists everywhere at once, yeah?

Yeah. I liked the idea of Iris winning a Pulitzer for writing about the Flash disappearance, which would lead her to becoming a TV Reporter. Then maybe when Barry comes back, we might have a mini “Iris West kisses Flash, even though she’s engaged” episode. I mean, she’ll be in front of the cameras, so more coverage. Right?

THIS IS THE STORYLINE I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR. GIVE IT TO US.

I’m not super mad they cut the Joe/Barry scene. It would’ve been nice, but this episode already had a lot going on. I just find it weird that they promoed that scene in the sizzle reel AND in almost half of the promo pic, only to cut it. (There was also the photo of Barry in his Flash suit looking shocked, which was missing too.) I wonder, though, if it might’ve been an alternative to the Barry/Iris time vault scene (in which case, I’m definitely not mad it got cut).

Reminds me of when they cut the Barry/Iris heart-to-heart in 2.03 despite it being in a promo and in a still. But in this case, like you, I’m not mad.

I’m legitimately curious as to how long the finale script originally was, because holy plot holes, Batman. (But I also just think they left too much to be explained/finished in one episode, so there was bound to be plot holes.)

Lots of editing and continuity issues, yeah…

I think Sav briefly considered it, because when he gets back to the lair he says something like: I was a fool to think otherwise

He wanted to stick his hands in that cookie jar…

In the Rebirth storyline, doesn’t Barry briefly become Black Flash too? Do you think they might throw that in there, especially considering Hunter’s Black Flash [seemingly] died last night?

That does happen for a bit while he’s out. Hmm… At the same time, that would be an interesting way to get him out. He shows up, but it’s as Black Flash because Wally made some mistake… Creepy.