#there was a whole rhyme and everything 💀💀💀

[m4rs-ex3]

so i finally finished the book 1 novelization. after owning it for 3 years. .............................................i've been busy. anyway, let the thoughts commence!

also i only started marking sections at like ep 5 don't ask why

even CLAUDIA could tell that rayla was a cinnamon roll

stop she's incredible

a) he's a dork b) i think they should kiss

"this freckle-faced goof [gren] was going to be the easiest prisoner he'd ever encountered." is he right? yes. am i still taking offense to this? yes

"'i didn't kill anyone,' Rayla said. it surprised her that she was so proud of this fact." YAS YOU GO GIRL

these additional details are incredibly necessary thank you so much Book

"Viren blinked twice, amazed at the folly of his own offspring." i know that it's incredibly sad but goddamn that is so funny

STOPPPPPPPP I CANT 😭 the use of the word "adored" no one fucking talk to me

them

"Rayla and Callum didn't know how easy they had it, what with their long legs and no heavy dragon egg on their backs."

the way that even back then ez was already thinking like a king, even when the subject was so "not of a king's concern," for lack of a better term (why am i rhyming)

what can i even say about this oh my god

"'no, not really, dummy.' sometimes, Rayla could barely believe the denseness she had to put up with."

god i love him god i love him i l obe him i love him i love hiom oi love hiojm and everybody clapped

sometimes these slight dialogue changes mean the world to me

his autistic ass 😭

"he turned and spoke only to her." i am dying

"i've always been different. it's hard for me to make friends with other kids. i just feel like i don't fit in." -> "i've always been different. i don't really 'get' other kids, and it's... so hard for me to fit in." this is AUTISTIC CODING he has AUTISM that is IT we have autistic claudia try and tell me that this child does have the tism and that they don't fucking know that

LMAO LITERALLY KICKING ROCKS HE'S SUCH A PISSBABY I LOVE IT

this is Everything to me. i. a moment of all time. behead me

i think they should kiss pt 2

STOP THEY CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS TO ME THE SIBLINGS OF ALL TIME ISTG

"Callum lingered" "for some reason, she wanted to share what she had seen with Callum, even is she didn't tell anyone else" i. think. they. should. kiss.

"Callum glared at his brother. there was a ginormous spider in their way. many things about this situation weren't right."

SHUT UP WHAT DO I EVEN SAY ABOUT THIS. OH YOURE TELLING ME THAT RAYLA IS IN A WHOLE NOTHER CLASS FROM ELLIS AND AVA?? THAT SHE IS SO MUCH MORE THAN A "FRIEND"??? BOTH IS THE SENSE THAT HE IS MADLY IN LOVE WITH HER AND THAT HE JUST GENERALLY MEANS MORE TO HIM????? IM THEOWING U _P (hey guys i think they should kiss)

shut the fuck up. buddy. i am gagged

oh Him

damn girl's always had a problem with Layla 💀

dear christ. the matter of fact "no, this is not your fault" (4x06 "Rayla. don't."), "he couldn't let Rayla carry that burden alone" (5x04, anybody?) also i am 100% reading way too far into this but it's still callum's pov so he is the one who described her "violet eyes" and i just would like to state this for the record

and oh yeah i think they should kiss

[tototalks]

Just over halfway through King’s Rising and am eating up all this drama lol. Welcome back weird tension, I have missed you 👀

- And we resume with that poor Veretian boy being taken advantage of by Makedon’s troops. I’m glad Damen sorted that cruelty out. I’ve always liked Damen’s character for his sense of honour, but I LOVE the uncomfortable acknowledgement that he himself was complicit when it came to keeping and participating in the slave trade, and this is a lesson that he is coming to learn.

- Shoutout to Paschal just because. Keep being unproblematic, king.

- Nikandros is just like, so done. 😂 This man sees, knows, and acknowledges that his best friend will see a pretty blond red flag and is but a charging bull.

- The era of weird tension has truly begun again. Laurent is so so petty and I’m so so here for it - that “good boy” for Isander was not, in fact, for Isander.

- This has solidified my belief that we should start having messy fights in public again, because what I wouldn’t give to be some random nobility standing in a hall sipping a dacqueri while Barius Big Balls straight up asks the kings of two nations whether or not they’re fucking 💀

- Damen was an ‘Again! Again!’ kid and you cannot tell me otherwise, except he didn’t want you to read a nursery rhyme, he wanted a whole damn performance of the Akielon Iliad lol

- “Let’s fuck.” - Ah yes, that infamously makes everything better.

- The little girl saying Prince Damianos killed her family and ransacked her village? Ouch.

- The fight between Laurent and Damen was everything I wanted. They’re so well matched in such different ways. Damen is strong and steady, but unyielding, and Laurent is quick and sly, and relies on his wits. With his defeat, Laurent knows he wasn’t good enough to best Damen just as Auguste wasn’t good enough either. There was nothing he could have done.💔

- “I could have done this any time when I was a slave.” And they’re both so RIGHTEOUSLY mad about loving one another because they had no business falling in love, and yet they did. I’d be mad if the universe pulled that kind of bullshit on me too. Like wtf.

- Laurent watches Damen wrestle naked and suddenly the Akielon games are hosted in Vere this year 😏

- Nik: “You surely didn’t suck his dick?”

Damen: “… I might have sucked his dick.”

Nik: “I cannot defend you anymore.” HELP THIS MAN 😭

- Makedon has one drink with Laurent and is going around like yes hello, this is my new best friend!! He’s from Vere!! We’re going hunting actually!!

- The information that Laurent is a lightweight is valuable and precious, but the tonal shift from “I miss you” to “yes uncle” has me chewing on drywall and boiling my teeth. 🫠

- Love how Nik has given up trying to talk to Damen about Laurent, so he just does the equivalent of shoving a box of condoms at him and leaves 😂

- Well hello, Jokaste! 👀 Cannot wait for her to gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss her way around this.

[half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk]

Louk's Bad Batch rewatch part 28 omg omg

mid season finale let's go batchersss 🤟

The Bad Batch 2x08

sleepy Wrecker 🤫🤲

Gonky and Echo watching Omega meditate 🥺

Omega asking Echo if he wants to try she was so innocently asking too 🥲

"I don't enjoy solitude" 💔😭

"hey boys" Rex my whole ass heart 🥰💕

lmao gives no details just is like ok meet me on coruscant like it's nbd 💀

how long has it been since they've been there ??

I'm assuming they've been there ?? idk ??

Rex introducing tbb like Cody did 🥲🤲 and Omega's little wave 💕

Echo keeping Omega back from the body, mom

the identifying number being wiped and Tech being the one to comment on not knowing that was a thing.... foreshadowing ? 👀

Echo stepping up immediately to speak in the senate 🥺

Hunter: "the senate won't listen to us, we're deserters" ... who Rampart said died in *his* attack, so the perfect people imo

"a simple data collection" right in the middle of imperial coruscant lololol ily Rex 💕

Chuchi and Omega team up 🥳🙌

they clearly don't think Chuchi is in that much danger bc they let Omega go with her ...

Omega with all her questions 🥺 she's learning everything she can

Omega's face seeing Rampart lmao meeee

he didn't even look at her 🙄

"there's nothing else she can do" HA idiot watch her go actually

Omega's run to look over the edge 🤲

"which one belongs to the clones?" heartbreaking 😫😭

I relate to Chuchi on a personal level, she cares sm about the clones 💕

Bail in dad mode keeping an eye on Omega hehe

Omega's confidence in tbb is so precious 🤲

Senator Burtoni lol blast from the past

the way she looks at Omega makes me uncomfy 👀

she gives zero fks about kamino girlll

"because I'm a clone too... it was my home .... and im angry" YES OMEGA SPEAKING UP FOR HERSELF TO A KAMINOAN I'M SO PROUD 🥳

Wrecker nearly getting zapped 👀

*mission impossible theme plays*

Wreckers saw !! bro I love it !!

Rex helping as many brothers as he can 🥺🤲

mans says he's helped "not enough" brothers... yeah but how many pls

"help's hard to come by these days..." Rex just ask him you know he'll go with you 🥲

"taking a lesson from your squad, we improvise" !!! tcw flashbacks lol I love when they have no plan 💕

knife knife knife 👀

"this is him better" Wrecker you've got this bby !!

lmao Tech controlling the cart from his datapad

Hunter's growl at Tech (again) 👀🤭

sneaky bois shhh 🤫

@anonymous-galager said Tech sounds like Crosshair in this scene hehe

regs: 'ayo someone activated the bridge' tbb + Rex: 'hey boys' they're so unserious while I'm hyperventilating 💀

the clones coming to stop tbb boys !! they're doing it for you !! 😫

Hunter: "new plan. 14, 5, 86" Wrecker: "all of them!?" I will never get tired of their plans 💕 (don't look at me plan 99 I'm not talking about you)

Rex: "we need an exit strategy" Echo: "got one, we're going over them" Rex: 😳 ??

Rex dodging blaster bolts 👌

"this should be interesting" Rex 🤝 Cody saying the same thing about tbb

Tech piloting the escape pod lmao he can literally fly anything

Rampart 🔫😈

lol he really thought he did something 💀

Omega's disguise wearing one of Chuchi's ponchos 🥰💕 Cal Kestis is coming for that poncho 👀

Rex giving Omega the data !! how much they all trust her 🥺

Rampart's whole speech full of rubbish 🙄

Omega catching her breath after running that whole way 🥺 you did good bby 💕

YES CHUCHI PLAY THAT EVIDENCE 🥳

Omega having to relive kamino being destroyed 😭💔

I PANICKED ITS PALPS 🙃

I hate that they twisted the whole thing so bad 😡😡😡

"I was following orders" well well well how the turn tables

the clones taking him away !!! it's like poetry, it rhymes 👌

Chuchi looked so defeated 😭😭😭

Omega hearing the introduction of stormtroopers ... I'm stuck in the foetal position forever 💔😫

Rex hating on palpatine hehe

"the fate of all the clones is now sealed because of us" AND THEY THINK ITS THEIR FAULT I HATE IT HERE 😫😭💔

"I will keep fighting for the clones" me too babes

I thought it was weird tbb just seemed to know Echo would go with Rex but it has taken me this long to realise they probably all discussed it while Omega was taking the data in 🙃😭

each of their lil moments with Echo 🥲

poor Omega probably blames Rex for Echo leaving 💔

"we're a squad" "we need you too" ...when I cry forever 😭

Omega literally jumping into his arms 🥺 and then wiping her tears away *screams into pillow*

the sad clone music I am in spain without the s

"keep an eye on them" ~ mom worrying about the kids

THE CROSSHAIR PARALELLS HELP-

and she's hugging Lula again 💔💔💔💔

I knew it'd be a bad idea to leave it all this close together I am gonna be an absolute wreck watching the s2 finale and going straight into s3 🙃

[sparkles-oflight]

Okay, I'm sorry for going on a rant, but I'm going to talk why the line "Are you straight, Are you LGBTQ or none of the above?" Is actually important.

First of all, let me clarify something: YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIKE SSOL! You are free to enjoy whatever you like (maybe I wasn't clear enough, because sometimes I can sound very pushy and rude and I'm sorry for that), it's just that it shocked me to see a lot of people who don't like while I thought the opposite was going to happen 😶

The line, from what have seen, has either being called cringe, or cool, or lazy or too direct to the point (or even too political). Now, I'm not going to say "it's 2023, everything is political" because that notion is simply stupid. Everything has been "political" since long ago (I really hate to call human right causes "political", but alas) - a good example of a song that did the same as Joker Out YEARS AGO is "Born this way" by our queen Lady Gaga 👑.

I actually want to talk about queer culture and even the social context.

The first one is the one we all know about: Queer people have for centuries had to hide their feelings and identities through metaphors, rhymes, and tragedy in the media they produced for their own safety. I'm not saying I don't enjoy it! I LOVE SUBLIMINAL QUEER MESSAGES AND CHARACTERS WHOSE LABELS ARE UNKNOWN! But, if cishet people are allowed to express themselves explicitly, why shouldn't the queer or ally people do the same?

Now comes the second part: social context. Joker Out comes from a Balkan country. Now, I'm not a Balkan person, but there are some reasons the internet meme about my country being the long lost sibling of the Balkans 💀. Portugal is one of THE SAFEST countries for queer people!! On paper.... We are called slurs, we are made fun of, we are hurt on the streets, we are told to "suck it up" because not only is our country still heavily religious (specially the north, where I come from) but also misogynistic and young to the concept of democracy and freedom (we were in a dictatorship until 1974 and then we had to deal with colonial wars until the early 2000s). I literally told my bestie yesterday (before the song came out) that it would be easier to just say "I'm a lesbian" to my parents than bisexual and NB because they don't believe in those concepts. If we are one of the safest countries on the whole fucking world, I CAN ONLY IMAGINE what happens to queer people on the Balkans - with all of their diversity and wars.

Sometimes, having a big celebrity just saying the worlds LGBTQ is already such a revolutionary thing as much as you all say "it's cringe, it's lazy, it's political...", to us...it means the whole world.

Now, I don't know JO members sexualities, neither do I care or should care, but knowing that they are - at least - allies, makes my fucking heart melt, even if we aren't from the same country.

And I like silly funny songs too XD I'm biased yes yes

Edit: I forgot to add this: FEEL FREE TO ADD TO THE DISCUSSION ANY TIME

[tarobii]

@askpocketsans hi sorry this took so long I didn't know where to start lmao

so first off, here's a speedpaint of the initial drawing

(also a little peek into the design process of dream!)

(and yes, this big piece did come before the proper ref lmao)

now to itemize what the heck just happened:

the initial sketch!

a test rendering of the sketch (to work out colors and lighting)

coloring the sketch according to what I want to make move (there's no rhyme or reason to the colors--just don't let the same color touch if they're on different parts)

rendering each piece individually (as you can see I did lineart first and then coloring)

rendering the background

and done!

here's a clearer look at the separation sketch thing

(the colors don't have the most contrast but it gets the point across lmao)

also! it's not necessary to draw every piece separately; you can just finish the initial thing and then separate it after the fact, I just prefer to separate it from the get go so I don't have to do any cleanup work haha

once that's done I merge each body part/piece so each layer is a body part/piece

and that ends with this:

(man I even popped out the layer tab and there's still not enough space to show every layer 💀)

so like

one layer looks like this

once I'm done merging the pieces, I export the whole thing as a .psd (Very Important!!!)

now for rigging!

I boot up dragonbones and go to "New Project" > "Create Animation" > "Armature Template" > "Finish"

that will bring up the main workspace

from there, I go to "File" > "Import Assets to Stage" > select the .psd file > "Open" > "Import"

that leaves me with this

(note: right click empty space to deselect)

(also, if the background doesn't import you may have to go back to the psd and cut it up into smaller pieces)

from there, I check the canvas option and set the size

(yeah I know I use really big canvasses)

now for rigging!

when I rig I like to hide everything except for the specific things I'm rigging

it makes things less cluttered

now, select the "Create Bone" tool (or just press "E") and then click and drag where the bones should be

that leaves us with something like this:

in this case, the bones should automatically be attached (if you move the upper arm the rest of the arm will move with it) but in cases where that is not the case, you can manually set the parent bone by right clicking it > "Set Parent" (or press "P") > then clicking the bone you want to attach it to

now to make ik constraints (controllers) for the bones

I'll be showing you both types of controller--the type you want to use depends on how you want it to move

click on the bone you want to move, then go to the "IK Constraint" section on the left sidebar

(ctrl + click to select multiple bones)

for the arm I like to use "Create IK Constraint at End of the Bone" and "Create IK by Pick" for the hand

(don't forget to rename the controllers!)

this makes it so that you can move the bones like so

(don't mind how crunchy that gif is lmao)

since I have the upper and forearm bound to the same ik constraint, they move in tandem, and said ik constraint is bound to the end of the forearm bone

the hand (bone) will always point toward it's respective constraint (the little red dot in the gif)

and then rinse and repeat for every moving part heres the fully rigged skeleton (heh):

(also make sure to lock all the bones and assets after you make the controllers so you can only move the controllers)

now to animate!

go to the animation workspace in the top left

(Ctrl + B to hide the bones)

you set the loop here (in frames)

C: current frame S: start of loop E: end of loop

I set the initial and last keyframes of the loop here by selecting every controller (Ctrl + click) and clicking the flags

(that way the first and last frames are the same, making for a smooth loop)

now to actually start animating

I prefer to have this option selected:

it auto keyframes, so if I move a controller it's automatically saved to the timeline

(from here I genuinely don't know how to explain so bear with me here lmao)

those diamonds are all keyframes: aka poses that the animation *will* hit at the point in time

to make it actually move you need to go to a point between the start and end of the loop and move the pieces to wherever, then set it as a keyframe (or just move it if you have auto keyframe on)

once that keyframe is set, if you press space/play, it should automatically move between those two keyframes, smoothly

you can change how smoothly it moves with the curve editor

I don't really use the curve editor unless I think something needs to be eased in/out (like dreams arms in the original idol post)

(I don't really know how to explain further the animation is really a hand-on thing to me 💀)

here's what my timeline looks like when everything is done and animated

(I prefer to just pick a few points in time and animate everything to those points but you can keyframe at any point)

now to export the thing!

go to "File" > "Export" > pick whatever if you get the "This Texture is oversize" popup, I usually choose "Multiple Textures" (nothing really changes) > "Image"

and now we're here

things to make sure of:

Type: Sequence

Format: PNG

Animations: Current

FPS: whatever fps you were working in

Image Contains: Canvas area

Export to: wherever you want it to (you can see I have it going to the project folder with the rest of the idol stuff) (I suggest making a subfolder specifically for the frames bc they can stack up *real* fast

and then "Finish"

and then you wait for a bajillion years for it to export :)

finally, time to make it a video!

I use blender to turn the PNG sequence into an mp4, so here we go!

to the video editing workspace!

"Add" > "Image/Sequence"

navigate to the folder with the frames

press "A" to select all

set "End Frame" to the number of frames you have

set "Fit Method" to "Scale to Fit"

then hit "Add Image Strip"

that leaves us with this

(make sure to set "End" at the bottom right to the number of frames you have)

now for settings

go to format and change the resolution and frame rate

next, go to output

set the file destination

File Format: FFmpeg

open Encoding menu

open Video menu

Video Codec: H.264

Output Quality: Perceptually Lossless

open Color Management

View: Standard

Look: None

finally, hit "Render" > "Render Animation" in the top bar and sit tight while it exports

now, that was probably confusing so here are some videos I used myself (bc this was the first time I touched dragonbones in like a year lmao) [vid 1] [vid 2]

and also bonus video that I had on loop while I was making this hehe

[artis-lined]

Why is everyone so obsessed w/ tryna make daisy bell a creepy song?? Like imo, it's literally such a cute song abt how this one guy wants to marry this lady and is poor. Everyone stfu abt the computer cover-- the computer was trying its best 😭 and imo, yall tryna make everything disturbing. Ykw disturbing? Singing slightly off key, maybe a nursery rhyme and giggling-- idfk-- just not daisy bell 💀.

It's like-- you guys know that just bc the music is simple, it doesn't mean it's eerie.. right? Lyrics should always match the message you're trying to convey (and no, I don't mean literally, symbolism is often a great way to be less in ur face abt it).

And no, Nebbed did not write Daisy bell-- they literally link the og song in the description.

(This whole post was /lh)

Edit: *sigh* I'm gonna make ocs based off of this... aren't I..?

[yunjardi]

YOUR DOING cam GOOD W THE FACE ID CUZ ME PERSONALLY I KEPT ON DOING IT UNTIL THEY SENT ME A LINK TO MY PHONE NUMBER.

back to all seriousness: eventually they’ll ask for your ACTUAL phone number or email that you use for the account and they’ll send you a link. click on it and it’ll lead u to the log in page on instagram and it’ll HOPEFULLY log you in and make you go through security to change your password and everything immediately.

tip: if you have an email attached to ur account plz replace it and make a new one. Like if you put your phone number back as the primary number, then the hacker obviously can’t do anything cuz you get the text messages instagrams sends you, not them. They only changed things up so they can get things sent to them. so if instagram possibly and randomly asks you any question abt ur account being linked to the device you have rn, say yes. Cuz it’ll make the whole process easier trust. Cuz my dumbass got all suspicious and said no which made me get kicked off again.

PS: the hacker will change something abt ur username. Whether they add a underscore or dash, keep in contact with ur friends, mutuals, and ask them if ANYTHING abt ur username(capital or lowercase letters, numbers) has changed from the original username you knew it as. Because if they changed something abt ur username and you have no idea, instagram will say “no account found” when you go to type in your username to click “forgot password” or “can’t reset password”. Which will obviously make you worry, panic, and think that they sold your account. Which they did to me. Still can’t believe they hacked my account the day before EID. like I was so devastated. but dw, I got it back the day of EID :).

All this advice is coming straight from the heart, and I truly wish you the best. Patience will key. don’t sob and panic like me.

WAIT THAT RHYME LOWKEY ATE EVEN THOUGH I WAS BEING SERIOUS 🤭💡😛

yk what instead of question mark anon from my first two paragraph advice I gave you, call me lightbulb anon cuz the ideas zoominn through my head rn 🥸-

love yaaaaa

💡anon :)

HELLO 💡 ANON, WELCOME TO THE CLUB 🩷

but anyway, THANK YOU SM for giving me hope 😭😭 i really wanna get back into the account because i've had it since i was like 10, and it's such a big piece of jardi lore that i don't wanna lose to a dumbass hacker 💀 IM ALSO HAPPY YOU GOT UR ACC BACK TOO BABE

love you lots and lots and i look forward to interacting with you more my 💡 love

[halfblood-princes-crown]

Dark snape au here again, this part is a little lighter I suppose so here we go

The new year starts and Harry is progressing slowly in spells, nothing serious but it’s something to keep himself sane.

And if you’re wondering how severus have all this money, Eileen has a muggle account that she kept all her inheritance money in, money she hid from her husband and saved up for her son. Severus also worked around while keeping an eye on Harry and didn’t spend anything much so now he’s left with enough savings for them both to go by until he lands a stable job.

The first year students are excited for the new year unaware of the anxiety everyone is experiencing with Harry missing.

The sort happens then and they have to erase Harry’s name but somebody {hermione} points out that the boy who lived is not there with them? The professors are put in a tight spot and the student body breaks into whispers.

The news quickly spreads because you can’t just erase the memory of every student.

Remus still didn’t tell anyone he found Harry and everyone thinks he just gave up.

Severus goes out to sell the potions he made in the market near by and buys groceries, he buys some pastries and comes back to the cottage.

He walks outside to where Harry is practicing alone, the boy stops immediately and backs away from him because let’s be real Harry is too fragile right now.

Severus ignores the annoying stinging in his chest and orders the boy to eat what he bought.

Severus keeps eyes on Harry for an uncomfortable amount of time then starts telling him random stories about his mother when she was young, Harry is gob smacked by this information and takes in everything he can.

Harry still doesn’t speak but continues with him using gestures, he points at a spell in the book, severus took it as an opportunity to fix something he broke and started showing him how to do simple spells.

Sirius now reached Switzerland and panics because he can smell both snape and Harry, meaning his dreams were true and snape kidnapped Harry but also, Remus is here too?

Now that whole of Britain knows Harry is nowhere to be found, people are scared, so no more than two weeks and parents started pulling their kids out of hogwarts because they don’t trust albus, only a few new students left and a hand full from older years.

With all of that chaos going on they seem to forget one important thing, Voldemort on the back of what’s his face.

More story time? Don’t mind if I do😌

Ok let’s do this!

Eileen secretly saving money for Sev is so mother.

Hermione being the first one to point out that Harry Potter wasn’t there is so accurate 😭

Remus found them…and HASNT said anything? Interesting 🧐 🍿

Sev and Harry seem to be bonding better 🥹 my broken heart is healing slowly. I love that he broke the silence by telling Harry about his mom. Cute

Sirius: *sniff sniff* Harry AND Snape!? This can only mean one thi- *sniff sniff* ReMuS!?

OOHH! Voldemort on…the professor…FUCK WHATS HIS NAME😭💀I refuse to look it up, I’d be a fake hp fan…gimme a min…omg this is tragic….

It rhymed with..

I’m gonna lock myself in a closet…

SQUIRREL

QUIRRELL

It took thirty mins to remember his name. Excuse me while I go DIE 😒

[fuck-customers]

3-27-22 💀 long long rant. Absolutely enraged

I’ve sent stuff in before, this is the first time I’m specifying where I work (my posts were about how understaffed we are or it’s me losing my shit over customers ripping apart every section in the store)

I work at a plus size womens store that rhymes with Horrid. It is anyones guess as to whether it will be overwhelmingly busy or mostly dead. We’re very understaffed. The store is not very big but by god it won’t stop people from filling every area in there.

Yesterday was the Saturday before all the schools let out for spring break. That means every (plus size) woman within a 50 mile radius who needed vacation clothes or swimwear (which we don’t have in yet because fuck shipment and also apparently we aren’t a priority store 🙃) decided to come in all at once. There was fucking THREE of us working from 2-8, which is when we close. We were killing ourselves trying to help every person who walked through that door. If you’ve ever wanted what the Horrid customer base is like, wonder no fucking longer. They are entitled, rude, lazy, selfish cunts who need you to do everything for them. Don’t get me wrong there are plenty of pleasant and kind customers but by god the most common type are the horrible ones. My coworkers and I could barely get in and out of the back room door without being stopped with a question every single time. Literally as my coworker was going back for her 30 min she was stopped with a question and I was immediately stopped on my way OUT of my 30 min. Everyone suddenly needed a bra fitting, and the people that do will go and sit in the fitting room and expect YOU to go get them the bras they need to try on. Every section in the store was chaos and a mess. There were clothes on the floor that had fallen off the hanger from how many people had rifled through them. Clearance was hell. Our go-back rack (for clothes people decide they don’t want from the fitting rooms) was so full we had to move the stack to our counter and then it was full AGAIN. We were constantly asked to pull down mannequins to figure out what size the clothes on it were EVEN THOUGH WE TELL EVERYONE THEY ARE USUALLY A SIZE 00 or 0 (our sizing system is weird ik) and they’d be like “well can u just check 🥺” NO!!!!! WE PUT THE CLOTHES ON OURSELVES AND THE MANNEQUINS ONLY FIT A CERTAIN SIZE. And of course we had people coming to pick up packages and one of them had a huge attitude with my coworker who was busy with another customer. When she was finally able to help the Package Customer, PC was like “I’ve been standing here WAITING to be helped”, my coworker apologized and asked her what the last name was for the package and she didn’t hear her the first time so she asked PC to spell it and she did, very rudely, and went “it’s EASY”. Fuck off. I don’t think we were ever able to leave those damned registers the entire time we were in there. Also for SOME GODFORSAKEN REASON half the people decided today was the day to pay with cash!!!!!!! People were handing me $100s left and right and for what purpose????? We were going back and forth between register drawers to make enough change for a while before we had enough in each drawer to not worry about change. We made over $11,000 for the day and had over $1000 in a deposit. Extremely rare for that to happen. My coworkers and I were on the edge of either screaming or crying the whole time and we agreed we would NOT do this again unless we had more people. For this to run smoothly we usually need at least 5. We ended up leaving most of the go-backs (that we had moved to a rack) for tomorrow (today) because it shouldn’t be as busy. The only cleaning we did was take out the main trash bag, sweep the floors and put back clothing we hadn’t hung on a rack yet.

Luckily during our last hour and a half though it just slowed to almost a full stop and we had some very nice and funny customers come thru that made it feel like the day wasn’t for nothing. Two ladies were in and they were sweet and hysterical and a mother and her two adult kids were in and were also really nice and funny and we were all laughing and having a nice conversation and then our very last customer was this lady with her kid. I’ll admit I judged early cuz she had a Karen cut but she ended up also being super sweet and understanding and her kid was great. He asked if he could help us sweep when he saw me Swiffering the floor😭 and he did a pretty good job!! He was like “there’s so much dust!! So much dirt from all the people” and I was like yeah and we do this every night too! And he was just like “😳every night?? Wow that’s a lot” Thank fuck for those people. They made the whole day a little more bearable. But god I fucking hate retail.

[szkot-pielgrzym]

7, 13 & 21 💀

7. If you had the chance to get a single, free tattoo of any size or intricacy right now, what would you want it to be of?

Well, I would get none, unless I add to that list of generous caveats above “and you don’t have any body image issues”. If that was the case, then probably a large hare jumping through flames, with it’s heart visible from the outside; stylized to look a little art nouveau, in black and red, across one of my thighs.

13. What type of weather is the scariest for you?

You know how there’s about to be a storm on a summer evening, and everything goes dark, yet sky gets this unsettling shade of pink, and temperature suddenly drops but the air is still as unbreathable as it was when it was hot earlier? It’s that. I mean, I absolutely love this type of weather, but it always makes me feel a little apocalyptic.

21. What children’s story/nursery rhyme scarred you as a child (or as an adult)?

Ok, so this is a children’s story (kind of) that fucked me up when I was a kid, and keeps fucking me up whenever I remember it, and it will be under the cut below because of child abuse, fictional self-harm description with a nice dash of racism and general religion-adjacent fuckery.

So little background, I was raised very religious and very evangelical protestant which actually - kinda rare in Poland, and between ages 5-9 I lived with my family in an apartment above (then) my church, which meant I had a shitton of very peculiar pastimes as a little girl and saw some Shit(tm). One time when I was 6 I think, I got into a box of children’s books that came to the church from who knows where, though they were more like thin booklets, illustrated, each containing a single story that was intended to put some fear of god into babies. And of course I took one out and read it on the spot. It went like this (and keep in mind - all profusely illustrated). 

There was this African boy, living in a Generic African Village(tm) with his grandma (I suppose his parents died or something), and he was very Naughty. And his grandma, who was apparently a knitting afficionado and also a bitch, was so fed up with his bad behaviour that she told him, the next time he will be Naughty, she will pierce the palm of his hand with one of her knitting needles. So at first, the boy was rightly scared, but since he was a kid, wouldn’t you know it, soon he was being Naughty again. His grandma of course found out about it, and both the boy, and me the reader, were led to believe that now grandma is about to FuckiNG MUTILATE A CHILD FOR BEING BASICALLY A CHILD. But lo and behold, a pot twist. Instead of doing that to the boy, she takes the knitting needle and pierces HER OWN HAND while the boy watches. And then she says something like “I love you too much to hurt you, but there have to be Consequences. Know that it was your Naughtiness that pierced my hand”. And then, to drive the point home the booklet explained to the reader (in this case a 6 yo me) that this is exactly what Jesus did! Because he loves you! Isn’t it wonderful?! And remember, every time you Sin you are nailing HIM to the cross again! Have fun with the rest of your time being a baby.

Basically every time I wonder what the fuck is wrong with me I look back to this story, and go like, ‘ah, my whole childhood’.