#there were some insane discussions on korean websites about this

[deletedelight]

it's always so funny when people show kabru as a nagging wife or something like that because he WAS shown as a toxic girlfriend in that one genderbend omake

like it's canon

[antoine-roquentin]

As long as South Korea existed, its politics had a division of the right-wing and the left-wing. By the early 2000s, however, the right-wing in South Korea seemed like old news, in a literal sense. Much of its subscribers were old people whose memories of the Korean War, communist terror and desperate hunger dominated their political decisions. As they did not grow up with democracy, they worshiped South Korea’s military dictators—foremost of whom was Park Chung-hee, who ruled for nearly two decades from the 1960s to 70s—as they would a king. In this sense, they could not possibly called “conservatives,” since the term, in its strictest interpretation, presumes a liberal democratic system. “Fascists” would be the more apt description. Korea’s right-wing was contemptuous of democracy, and favored dictatorship. They favored jailing “communists,” a catch-all stand-in term for any political dissident. 

But in the 21st century, the right-wing seemed like an old news. Twenty years after the peaceful democratization of 1987, it seemed that liberal democracy was the settled practice in Korea. Although the right-wing still wielded considerable force, they were aging and would fade away—or so Korea’s liberals thought. The liberals were riding high from the two consecutive terms of liberal presidents, Kim Dae-jung and Roh Moo-hyun, from 1997 to 2007. Of course, conservatism would continue to exist, but it would exist in a form that is more common in the advanced democracies: along the lines of the philosophical difference in terms of the proper role of the government, arguing over the proper size of the government, the appropriate level of taxation, regulation of corporations and redistributive policies, and so on. Even when the conservative Lee Myung-bak won the presidency in 2007, the liberals’ expectations for democratic governance continued.

It’s fair to say that Korea’s liberals were totally unprepared for what awaited them.

One cannot understand today’s Korea without understanding the internet. Until the 21st century, Korea was a middling, anonymous country. When placed among the numerous names of the world’s countries, Korea was a blank: not rich enough to command attention, not poor enough to arouse sympathy. Even the most seminal event in modern Korean history—the Korean War—is considered the “forgotten war.” Internet is what propelled Korea into the forefront of the world in the 21st century. Having seen the potential of high-speed internet earlier than just about any other world leader, Kim Dae-jung embarked on a massive project to equip the whole Korea with fiber optic cables during his term. This is perhaps the most underrated achievement of the Nobel Peace Prize-winning president. The result is the Korea of today: world leader in smartphone technology, cities constructed as a technological marvel, a major generator of the popular culture optimized for the digital age. So it shouldn’t be surprising the new breed of Korea’s young right-wing rose through the internet. What was surprising was just how retro these young right-wingers were.

The “new right wing” traces its origin to the website called DC Inside. Established in 1999, it was originally a message board to discuss the latest trend in digital cameras. (The site’s name means “digital camera inside.” It had a now-forgotten sister site called “Notebook Inside” that discussed laptops.) Soon, however, DC Inside organically grew into something else entirely. Reflecting its origin as a digital camera site, DC Inside had numerous “Galleries”—a themed message board in which people gathered to talk and, more frequently, engage in the earliest form of internet message board flamewar seen by the humankind. Particularly insane were the DC Baseball Gallery and the DC Comedy Gallery, where gladiatorial fights opened nightly to attract the amused onlookers.

The influence of DC Inside on Korea’s internet scene in the early part of the 2000s cannot possibly be overstated. DC Inside was the birthplace of every internet trend and meme. From the fires of the vulgar keyboard wars, a comedic gem would emerge. Such gem of a meme would spread into other major Korean websites, and eventually made their ways to newspapers and television. You might recognize this type of site—it’s Reddit, with Galleries being Subreddits. Reddit was once described as the “dark, unruly id of the internet,” but DC Inside was the OG of that description, as DC Inside is at least six years older than Reddit. (Note: Remember how I keep saying Korean politics is a five-year preview of US politics? Keep this in mind.)

DC Inside always was a cesspool, but even there, some truly deranged minds distinguished themselves with their over-the-top cessiness. Many of them gravitated toward DC Inside’s Comedy Gallery, then in 2010, separated themselves into their own message board site. There, they collected the most fucked up jokes, photoshopped images and gifs, and voted to choose the “best” material of the day. Thus, the site was known as the “Depository of the Daily Bests,” or Ilgan Best Jeojangso [일간베스트 저장소]. Over time, this site came to be known as the acronym of the first syllable of the first two words: Il-be.

For Korea’s young right wing, Ilbe was the demented internet version of the Viennese salon. At the first encounter, Ilbe would appear to be little more than a collection of destructive attitudes. The core of such destructive attitudes was self-loathing, in which Ilbe users wallowed and reveled. In their own telling, Ilbe users were aware of their own ugliness—the awareness which gave them a position of moral superiority in a twisted way, because everyone else who didn’t own up to his ugliness was a hypocrite. With this distorted moral license, Ilbe users engaged in a constant, nihilistic quest to create the most offensive contents possible, which in their minds would expose the hypocrisy of the rest of the Korean society. Violent misogyny, homophobia and racism were Ilbe’s mainstays. 

It was only a short time before Ilbe as a whole began taking on a discernible political stance as they sketched out their identity based on self-loathing nihilism. After all, all politics is identity politics. As they hunted for the sacred cows of Korean politics, they latched onto the most sacred one: Korea’s democracy. For the nihilistic youth who wanted to destroy the legacy of their father’s generation, there was no better target. Rejection of democracy was perhaps Ilbe’s only clearly stated political goal: the “downvote” button on Ilbe’s site was called “democratize.” This made Ilbe’s politics take on a curiously retro character—curious because while Ilbe’s political gaze looked backwards to pre-democracy Korea, it did not look at the same direction as Korea’s older right wings. The hero of Korea’s older right wing was Park Chung-hee, the authoritarian who (in their minds) defended South Korea from the communists in North Korea and delivered the country from desperate poverty. But the hero of Ilbe was Chun Doo-hwan, the authoritarian who succeeded Park Chung-hee—because Chun is most prominently remembered as the one who massacred hundreds of democratization activists in Gwangju in 1980. For Ilbe users, the ability to kill the liberals was more important than the authoritarian economic development.

Recall that Korea is the world’s first wired society. Korea had cyberbullying and doxxing before the rest of the world even knew what cyberbullying and doxxing were. Korea had the world’s largest social network service long before Facebook entered Mark Zuckerberg’s imagination. So it shouldn’t surprise you that Korea had the world’s first alt-right, long before there was such a word “alt-right,” because it is impossible to conceive of alt-right without the internet. Ilbe users were the world’s first alt-right, in that it foretold central characteristics of all the alt-right movements that would come. To put it diplomatically, they were disaffected young men who, disillusioned by the establishment politics, sought refuge in the idealized version of the past. To put it more straightforwardly, they were fuckheads who indulged in their worst tendencies online, to create a type of politics that is little more than a tool for nihilistically causing pain.

And boy, did Ilbe cause pain. In the decade of conservative rule began in 2007, Ilbe gained enough strength to be one of Korea’s largest websites by 2012. Ilbe became a social phenomenon, the fountainhead of noxious ideas from which Korea’s conservative politicians gathered their talking points and spread their own. When the Sewol ferry sank in 2014 and created the greatest political crisis that Park Geun-hye faced (at least until the Choi Soon-sil scandal broke,) Ilbe took the forefront of the unbelievable task of making the parents who lost their children in the sunken ship as greedy money grabbers. In the most disgusting political theater I have ever seen in my lifetime, hundreds of Ilbe members gathered at the City Hall Square, where the parents of the Sewol ferry children were engaged in a hunger strike, to start a “gluttony strike”: eating fried chicken and pizza to taunt the parents who had been starving for days. Ilbe’s negative influence peaked toward the end of 2014, when an Ilbe user bombed—bombed!—a leftist Korean American speaker, injuring three members of the audience.

Ilbe put Korea’s liberals completely at a loss. Never in their wildest imagination could they conceive that Korea’s youths would so actively reject democracy itself. Liberals—what else?—wrote a number of books and articles, trying to process what is happening. Some blamed themselves: Park Ga-bun, in his book “Ilbe’s Ideology” [일베의 사상], claimed Ilbe’s hostility to democracy resulted from the failed promises of democratization and the civic movements. Others tried to re-affirm their liberal values, such as freedom of speech. Law professors like Park Kyung-shin of Korea University and Hong Sung-soo of Sookmyung University offered pieties about how even Ilbe members had the right for free speech.

As it turns out, Korea’s liberals were even less prepared for Ilbe than they thought they were, because they simply lacked the imagination to fathom the lengths that Korea’s right-wing would go to destroy them.

Park Geun-hye administration was a lame duck almost from the beginning. Just days before the 2012 presidential election, an agent for the National Intelligence Service—South Korea’s spy agency—was discovered in a small room in Seoul, adding internet comments that criticized liberal politicians. It was big news that came too late in the election cycle; eight days later, Park Geun-hye squeaked past Moon Jae-in to become the sixth president of the Republic of Korea in the democratic era. The Park administration spent its first year fending off charges of a rigged election. After a year of investigation, the facts revealed by the end of 2013 was enough to shock the conscience. Since 2009, in the middle of the Lee Myung-bak presidency, the NIS ran a “Psychological Warfare” division whose sole task was to attack South Korean liberals. The 70 or so agents in the Psychological Warfare division were professional internet trolls. They wrote posts on major websites, and upvoted or downvoted posts. They spammed comments until every major news story comment board was filled with their comments. They fired out more than 1.2 million fake tweets. All of these were about Korean politics, praising conservatives and attacking liberals. All of these were in foul, vulgar language—the screen name for one of the NIS agents, for example, was “Decapitate Lefties” [좌익효수]. 

Four years later the Park Geun-hye administration fell, through an utterly irrational scandal involving a shaman’s daughter. The incoming Moon Jae-in administration re-opened the NIS investigation—whose findings are so staggering that it defied belief. 

The government actively created contents to damage the liberals. The NIS consulted psychologists to create the most damaging and humiliating photoshopped images of liberal politicians and activists. The most prominent example was the photoshopped mixture of Roh Moo-hyun’s funerary photo with a koala, designed to derisively undermine the last president’s dignity without quite stepping over the line. The Blue House also fed narratives: when the parents of the children who died in the Sewol ferry began their hunger strike, the internal Blue House memo said “take out Moon Jae-in, claim he is assisting suicide, politics of death.” 

Other damage to liberals was more direct. The Lee Myung-bak and Park Geun-hye administrations blacklisted liberal-leaning celebrities, making sure they could not appear on television. The NIS even had a timetable; an internal memo titled “Expanding the expulsion of left-leaning talents from MBC,” several celebrities such as outspoken rock stars like Yun Do-hyeon and Shin Hae-chul were specifically named, with the date on which they were to be taken off the air. The government also threatened advertisers, making sure that these celebrities could not appear on their commercials. The NIS also directed a GamerGate-style attacks against liberal celebrities, using its troll army to spread false rumors about drug use. 

The government also created Korea’s right-wing media. Not assisted, not subsidized, created it out of thin air. In 2009, the Lee Myung-bak administration tapped Byeon Hee-jae, a pathetic gadfly whose only claim to fame until that point was being called “a gadfly no one ever heard of” by a prominent liberal commentator, to start an online publication called Media Watch. The NIS under the Lee administration paid the seed money for Byeon to start his website. Then the Lee administration pressured corporations to buy advertisements on Byeon’s site, and also ordered government workers to sign up for Media Watch’s paid subscription. Park Geun-hye administration, for its part, pressured Naver—Korea’s analogue of Google—to bury the bad news stories from search results.

The conservative government also subsidized right-wing civic groups, using them as extra-governmental political weapons. Lee and Park administrations paid veterans groups, who in turn paid to carry in busloads of old people from the countryside to stage massive political demonstrations in Seoul. (These included the “counter protestors” to the Candlelight Protests that brought down the Park Geun-hye administration.) Again, the government simply told these civic groups what to do. Following the government’s direction, these civic groups petitioned to keep out former president Kim Dae-jung from the National Cemetery upon his death, and engaged in a letter-writing campaign to Norway to somehow cancel Kim Dae-jung’s Nobel Peace Prize.

Taken together, it was not simply that the conservative government added some trolling firepower Korea’s right wing with fake comments and tweets. Rather, the conservative government was the entire game. The conservative government created political storylines, fed them to the right-wing media that the government itself created, used the right-wing civic groups to repeat them—until they became the mainstream opinion. The dissident voices were harassed, defamed, fired, and silenced, through pressures applied to media and search engine sites.

From start to finish, the conservative government managed the entire process that created a political narrative. And the biggest beneficiary, of course, was Ilbe, Korea’s most heavily trafficked right-wing website. Ilbe was the testing tube that the NIS used to see what humiliating meme would work the best to attack the liberals. Ilbe was the never-ending wellspring of right-wing troll army, who swarmed the left-leaning celebrities the NIS directed them to attack. Ilbe was where right-wing storylines were amplified, giving clicks to right-wing media and serving as a meeting ground for right-wing groups. For all of its vile, outrageous actions, Ilbe was shielded from consequences—the Park Geun-hye administration gave the Ilbe bomber a suspended sentence while deporting the Korean American speaker.

A gardener does not bear a fruit; the tree does. But the manner in which the gardener fertilizes the grounds, prunes the branches and pollinates flowers, determines the type and quality of the fruit that the tree bears. Even without the conservative government, Korea may have developed an alt right; but the type and quality of that alt right would have been different. Without the efforts by the Lee Myung-bak and Park Geun-hye administrations to nurture it with money, and mainstreamize its voices, Korea's alt-right certainly would have been smaller, its vileness less pronounced and more firmly rejected by the rest of the Korean society. It was the conservative administrations that raised Ilbe, to harvest the most toxic fruit. Korea’s alt-right, the first alt-right of the world, was a government start-up.

the author claims Reddit as the best American parallel to Ilbe, but 4chan would probably be a better one. 

incidentally, the founder of Encyclopedia Dramatica, girlvinyl, worked at a high level position in the National Nuclear Security Administration at the time she founded the site. part of her job was to work with counterintel agents. 

[bacontodae]

Cheat |Pt.3|

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: Angst

Length: 4.5k

|Pt.1|  |Pt.2|

You were pretty convinced that it would take a year at the most to get over a heart break; it was useless spending the next couple years of your life sulking about your ex. So it came as a surprise to you that four years on, you still thought about Baekhyun and everything you shared and experienced together.

 He was undeniably one of the biggest things that happened to you as you had never really bothered to care about love or any of that boring shit. All the “inspirational” quotes on Instagram were complete bullshit to you, you just needed to work and earn the money to get you to a financially stable position and maybe then, would you find a partner.

But thanks to Baekhyun, that wouldn’t be the case as he just stepped into your life, made you feel like a Queen and then proceeded to cheat, make your life a living hell and make you feel guilty for doing what anyone else would have done in that same situation. He deserved to be hated by you and you definitely knew that but it was hard. Unless you had experienced it yourself, you wouldn’t know the real pain and heart break that you would feel as your soul left your body to join other broken hearts.

Every day you would curse at yourself because you knew that what you were doing was damaging your mental state but that was what love did to you. It ate away at your brain, telling you to hold grudges and to remember all the pain he caused but then it would tell you to give him a second chance, to relive the good times again. You had an angel and a devil on each of your shoulders like the cartoons but little did anyone know how emotionally tiring those stupid miniature figures actually were.

Four years may seem like an eternity to some and to others a short while but to you, it was bang in the middle. It wasn’t too long where you could actually feel yourself going insane but it wasn’t too short where you had sat for a couple of hours one day wondering where all of your time went. Seeing Baekhyun and Taeyeon going on dates together and kissing in public all over Dispatch and other Korean news websites was what made the years long as they always looked so happy and like they didn’t give a damn about everyone else which was exactly what you wanted with Baekhyun. The people knew that you were a sweetheart and you were not here to cause any sort of trouble or harm to Baekhyun and the fans but it was the fact that people thought you were taking Taeyeon’s place.

You and Baekhyun were in love but there were always some salty fans that just had to rain on your parade and ruin everything. Dates were crashed by jealous fans and on countless occasions, certain fans had tried to assault you in attempts to scare you off away from their “oppa”. But none of this made you want to leave Baekhyun and this only made your anger build and build years later. The amount of times that you had sacrificed your happiness for him and your relationship was almost embarrassing considering the fact that he did a 180 turn from you to Taeyeon. 

When the word had got out, hundreds of people mocked you saying that he cheated because you were not good enough or up to his standards. All the harsh words were egging you on to leave everything behind and live another life in another place at another time. Despite your friends pleading, you had a plan and that plan was to end it all here. Your will was written and the decision was locked. It may of been a slightly dramatic thing to end your life just because of an ex boyfriend but the way that the couple seemed to mock you unknowingly through their public displays of affection was close to unbearable, like you couldn’t escape them not matter how hard you struggled to.

It was Chanyeol who basically lectured you and pushed the idea into your head that ending something so special because of something that could be changed and resolved was so stupid. When you would have late night chats with him about your feelings and how your day had went, he would always end the call with “Stay strong Y/N”. He may have been harsh with his technique of pushing the idea of suicide out of your mind and turning over a new leaf instead but it most definitely worked as you were now in another part of the city with a reasonable apartment that you shared with your dog. 

You could finally witness the light that had been missing from your life without really realising that you had done it. It was such a refreshing feeling and the gratitude you felt towards your friends (Chanyeol especially) was overwhelming. You no longer tortured yourself by checking the reporting websites for updates on Baekhyun but instead, you made the mature decision to congratulate the couple on their engagement. 

Yes, engagement. And the wedding was in two weeks. 

“Come on!” Chaewon exclaimed through the door of your bedroom. Somehow, that certain someone had managed to convince you to take a nice trip out with her to town to buy a new dress for their wedding. And yes, you were invited by the one and only Baekhyun and yes, you had also been persuaded to go by all of your friends as it would be “part of the healing process”. Whatever it was, you were sort of glad that you could confidently say yes to Baekhyun over the phone and his cheers of glee warmed your chest.

“Alright, calm your tits.” You mumbled but Chaewon still caught on and accused you through the wooden barrier that her tits were perfectly calm and stable. It was very obvious to you that when you had first met her, she was destined to be your best friend. After all, who has a conversation about shook tits?

Giving your hair once last shake, you walked out of the bedroom to see Chaewon pacing around, hands on her breasts. There was no point questioning her so you grabbed the car keys of your dining table and called for your confusing best friend to follow.

To your surprise, you ended up meeting a lot of your old (and new) friends at the dress shop in which you bought a lovely black and white dress. Apparently the wedding was going to be absolutely huge with basically everyone and their mothers going to it to watch the deep in love couple finally seal the deal. Of course it was slightly heart breaking whenever someone brought it up and gushed about how amazing the wedding will be as the feelings for Baekhyun still remained and would most likely never leave. You would try and blame yourself for everything such as not giving him a second chance but why would you give a cheater a second chance? 

 The dress was classy and accentuated all your curves as the white detailing outlined your body shape. It was slightly below mid thigh and you were close to not buying it and going for a longer flowy dress but with the persuasion of your law school graduate best friend, you ended buying it with a smile on your face. You decided on simple black heels that you made sure they wouldn’t kill your feet by the end of the night. After all, it was inevitable that everyone would have you dancing or probably running after someone the whole night.

The two of you made a pit stop at a rather aesthetic coffee shop that was decorated with rustic wood and bunches of classic flowers. It was small but cosy inside and it was tempting to hide in the storage room so you could spend the whole entire day and night here. The waiter took you to your table which had a small plant in a light grey pot and the smallest salt and pepper jars you had ever seen. The whole shop was very easy on the eyes.

“What are you going to get?” Chaewon asked whilst scouring through the drinks menu like a hawk. Everything on the menu sounded so good and like a bloody mission to try and decide on one thing to get. 

“Would it be greedy to get everything?” 

“Yes.” Chaewon deadpanned before bursting into a fit of laughter which was typical of her. You know, everyone had that friend that would do the most random things out of the blue and you would laugh because there was no other way that you could actually respond without being miserable or mean; she was one of those people.

Thankfully the waiter came to take your orders in time before Chaewon would actually end up buckling over and falling of her seat with tears in her eyes and her limbs flying about like leaves on a windy day.

You and Chaewon had finally (and safely despite having a near miss with another driver who was very obviously drunk) made it home and had invested yourselves in a warm cup of hot chocolate and a deep conversation about life. It started off with Chaewon talking and moaning about her co worker who would not leave her alone even though she would talk about him all the time because he was “really attractive and probably an A* in bed”; but then you ended up slipping into a discussion about how you were going to deal with having to face the bride and groom in two weeks. The thought alone made you cringe and want to curl up in a ball and forget about all of it.

The wedding was much too close to just cancel on them and besides, that would be horrible and would completely let down your friends, your family, yourself but more importantly, Baekhyun. Several years on from that messy situation and yet you still didn’t want to see him upset or hurt. Then again, he had cancelled on you that one time when you two had arranged to meet up in town to talk things over. He had said that it was due to nerves and that he wasn’t ready to tell everything to you just yet, and you believed him. He sounded so sincere and you knew exactly what his sincere voice sounded like.

“I honestly just think that you should turn up, make him so jealous by having some handsome ass man hanging on your arm and have him regretting everything.” Chaewon explained and the idea didn’t sound half bad. You could get Chanyeol to turn up with you and you could give a twinkling gaze towards Baekhyun whenever he looked at you. Sure, it was petty but it would give you that confidence that you were lacking.

“Maybe but that would just ruin his day and I can’t do that on his wedding day.” You got satisfaction from being petty and showing someone that you weren’t completely helpless but it would just be immoral of you to do that on a once in a life time experience.

“Wow, you’re boring me. Just do it and he’ll feel guilty; it’ll be great.” Chaewon rolled her eyes at you and took a sip at her warm beverage. 

“You’re a horrible person.” You said and she rolled her eyes at you again.

Someone humming the traditional wedding ceremony tune began to slowly wake you up from an uncomfortable sleep filled with anxiety, guilt and anticipation. You had barely caught any sleep that night as you were basically reciting the exact words you would say to Baekhyun and Taeyeon when you saw them later that day. 

The sweet humming got closer before you bedroom door was pushed open and a wide awake Chaewon started going through your drawers.

“What are you doing?” You asked her, silently cringing at the sudden whiff of your morning breath. It was always that worst feeling when you first smelt that horrible stench otherwise known as morning breath.

“Trying to find your expensive bra…” She mumbled almost incoherently. Her comment made you rise from your position in bed and shoot her a questioning look. She only raised her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders before trotting out of the room, your expensive bra in hand.

Once you were left alone once again in the naturally lit room that you essentially kept all your secrets in, the real realisation of what the day had in stored for you finally settled in. An unsettling bubbling feeling coursed throughout your veins and your heart thumped loudly in your ears. There was absolutely no reason to be this anxious about the wedding but you still seemed to be panicking and planning out different escape routes and strategies in case things got nasty. It was unlikely that anything terrible would happen but you weren’t too sure on how their friends and family would react towards you.

Would Baekhyun’s parents send cold glares your way for destroying their son’s happiness all those years ago? Or would Taeyeon herself turn on you that evening and completely break you apart until you fled the ceremony, shoes in hand and mascara running down your face uncontrollably. But, that was all very dramatic and (hopefully) unlikely.

On the more optimistic side, you could spend this day with your best friend as you both pampered yourselves ready for one of the biggest events you would ever attend. It had taken some convincing to let the nearly-wed couple allow Chaewon to come but when they had, it had felt like a few more bricks had been taken off of the almost toppling stack of your shoulders. It was rather easy though; all you had to do was remind them of the hurt and the agony you had suffered for years and then you were well on your way.

A familiar jingle filled up the empty space of your bedroom. Your phone displayed a few notifications from your various social medias on the lock screen and a text from Chanyeol.

From Chanyeol: I���ll pick you up at 1. Be ready

The winky face he included on the end of the message implied that he was clearly teasing you about this whole situation. Chanyeol had the ability to sense awkwardness in advance and he used that to his advantage as he would constantly tease you about awkward situations before they had even happened. You crossed your fingers and hoped that today wouldn’t be as disgustingly awkward as everyone was making it out to be; you just want to celebrate your friend’s new beginning.

The ceremony venue was absolutely breathtaking. Mahogany chairs decorated with white cushions in rows of six were lined up on either side of a pristine white carpet that was rolled out leading to the front. There were trios of white candles in an alternating pattern at the end of the last chair of a row; they were scented like roses and added to the flower theme of the ceremony. Cherry blossom plants were stood at the entrance where the bride would walk through and tiny pink blossoms lined the edge of the carpet. Great time and effort had been put into the setup of the wedding and despite all the hard feelings, you felt so much excitement and anticipation for the couple.

You spotted Chanyeol and the others just outside of the venue where everyone else was crowded, waiting to take their seats. You had arrived with Chaewon who was currently gawking at the special couple taking pictures against a rustic wall. They looked so perfect together as Taeyeon stood in the most beautiful white dress and as Baekhyun stared adoringly at her with the utmost love for her doing laps in his eyes. Obviously, the slightest bit of jealous coursed through your veins but the feeling of satisfaction and admiration overpowered it greatly.

The photographer continued to take pictures of the family and friends as you quietly stood at the side of the meadow outside as it was the polite thing to do regarding your situation. Chaewon had ran off somewhere probably making new friends leaving you alone but the scenery and atmosphere made you feel warm and content inside. You watched Baekhyun and Taeyeon laugh with Chanyeol and the others as huge grins took over their faces; it was so refreshing to see Baekhyun happy again all thanks to his friends and family.

It was almost time to go inside the beautifully decorated venue when Baekhyun caught your eye from across the field and beckoned you to come over. Your group of friends all looked in your direction as a wave of realisation (and guilt) washed over their faces. You allowed an amused chuckle to escape your lips and you struggled to walk over in the heels you were wearing.

“I’m so sorry Y/N!” Baekhyun exclaimed holding out his arm to allow you to slip in next to him for another round of photos with you. He looked unbelievably handsome in his black suit and tie, hair perfectly styled to perfection and a light smile constantly on his face.

“No it’s fine. I enjoyed watching you from over there.” You smiled back. Though is sounded a little creepy, it was true as nothing warmed your heart quite as much as watching your friends be happy. The photographer took multiple pictures of your group and it felt so right to be standing together once again. All those years back and everything had separated you all apart but the happiness of Baekhyun and Taeyeon managed to bring you all back to where you belong. Today could only get better and better if the beginning was the only thing to go by.

The organ echoed throughout the hall as the traditional music began to play despite the old lady at the organ looking like she was about to crash out on the keys. Everyone turned their heads towards the entrance where Taeyeon had begun to stride on in looking like a goddess but you kept your excitable gaze on Baekhyun. His eyes were becoming glossy and his hands were shaking uncontrollably; you just wanted to run up and tell him everything will be alright and that this will be the happiest day of his life.

The ceremony ran smoothly and just about everyone teared up when each partner said their vows. It was crystal clear how thankful each one of them were for each other and how in love they were when their adoring gazes poured into each other’s eyes.

This made you think about your own love life and how little there was of it. You were grateful for being single as it didn't restrict to anything but watching them together up there made you regret a few things. Perhaps you were too harsh on Baekhyun making him feel lost and almost like he had to date Taeyeon just so that he was happy. It was incredibly wrong for you to be pondering about such things at a certain time but it was out of your control for the most part.

As everyone was filing out of the beautifully decked out hall, you caught up to Jongdae who was laughing at something Minseok must’ve said. You tapped him on the shoulder and greeted both of them before expressing your happiness for the newlywed couple.

“I don’t think I’ve seen Baekhyun this happy in a while.” Minseok said shaking his head slightly with a soft smile upon his lips. You and Jongdae nodded in agreement.

“It’s definitely refreshing to see that bright smile of his.” You commented causing Jongdae to mumble something under his breath (probably about how his smile was bright too) but he was smiling nonetheless.

Whoever was hired to organise and decorate this wedding needed a promotion immediately. The décor was similar to the ceremony layout but the place had a more lively and energetic atmosphere to it. Several courses of amazing food were being served to each and every person and rounds of various alcoholic beverages were being served. You were sat at a table with Chaewon and the boys (excluding Chanyeol who was obviously the best man sitting at the table with the parents and the dreamy couple).

Poor Chanyeol’s speech was a stuttering mess but it had the whole room laughing hysterically at his adorableness so as a result, he didn’t really mind. Taeyeon’s speech was exactly what you would’ve expected from her- beautiful and graceful- she spoke with no hitches other than when she teared up when talking about how accepting everyone was. However, Baekhyun’s speech was the most hard hitting for you especially as he mentioned you on multiple occasions. He talked about how everyone deserves a best friend who is as accepting and encouraging as you. He expressed how none of this would’ve happened if it wasn’t for your “stubborn ass” and that he is unimaginably thankful to have you in his life. Obviously, the battle against the tears was once again lost but you smiled through it all.

The friendship between you two was an emotional rollercoaster within itself. You started off as his choreographer and then as his friend until he never gave up on his flirting techniques that would make anyone and their mothers cringe. You became lovers who were completely star struck by each other but all of that came crashing down like mountain of fragile playing cards when the reality of his careless actions hit you. It was then that you became complete strangers, never acknowledging each other no matter how hard it was to forget the good times. Then, something clicked; you realised how pathetic this whole situation was and how you had lost someone who meant so much to you that no words could ever express the gratitude and love you felt towards them. Would it be silly to refer to him as your guardian angel? Because that was what he was to you. To call him your best friend once again was perhaps the best feeling in the world and you promised to never let each other go again.

The crisp air nipped at your bare arms and legs as you watched the city lights glimmer in the pale moonlight. You would do this often- watch over the busy city and imagine what each person was doing or going through right then. You would get so invested in watching birds glide past or watching stray leaves float peacefully in the gusts of wind that any of your own problems would disappear with them. Some would call you crazy but it was all just a coping mechanism in the end. And it worked, so it didn’t matter what anyone thought, as long as you were calm and at peace.

The soft creaking of the balcony door brought you straight back into reality but you just assumed it was the wind colliding with the delicate door frame. That was until a gentle voice spoke up and a body came close to your side.

“You’re still doing this?” You registered the tranquil voice to be Baekhyun’s and you instantly relaxed again.

“What do you mean?” The question came out much more quietly than you had anticipated but Baekhyun heard you perfectly.

“Trying to imagine yourself as a bird or a leave.” He chuckled into the cold air and turned his head to you with the softest of smiles. You purely replied back with a gentle smile of your own and rested a hand on his forearm.

“I have told you once but I’ll tell you again, it’s the best way to forget all of your problems and to just focus on everything peaceful about the world.” Baekhyun’s nose crinkled as he knitted his brows together in false confusion.

“There is nothing peaceful about traffic or a busy city.”

You let out mere laugh.

“That is when you’re up here and not a part of it.”

Now it was his turn to laugh at your bluntness as it reminded him of all the unforgettable times you two shared together…as a couple. It was so wrong of him to think about such a topic at his wedding day with the love of his life but there was still something so enticing about you and your romantic feelings towards him. Even after all this time, he still likes to believe that you think about him romantically and you recall all of the major events in your relationship at least once a day. Perhaps that’s a little selfish and conceited of him to imagine but he couldn’t say he didn’t do that himself.

“I still think about you,” He shifted from one foot to the other to gain a better look at your concentrated face. “I miss you a lot actually.”

You averted your gaze towards him expecting to see his famous shit eating grin but instead you were greeted with a frown and unreadable eyes. He looked so upset but at the same time he looked angry, like he was ready to explode at any minute and break down.

“I miss you too Baekhyun.” You said barely above a whisper as you took a hold of his hand trying to ease whatever tension he was feeling. It was unclear of what he was going to do or how he was going to react but you had enough faith in him to assure yourself that he wasn’t going to try anything.

“No. I mean, yeah of course we miss each other but I really miss you. A lot of the time I just lay awake thinking about you and how much I regret…” He paused and looked away from your expecting gaze. “…doing what I did. I’m obviously glad we are best friends again as you honestly mean the fucking world to me.“

He took hold of both of your hands and started into your eyes with what you could barely make out being regret and sadness. “But I will never forget what I did to you and how much I destroyed your life. I will never forget the countless times I went to bed crying my eyes out because of how much I hated myself.”

Your eyes began to sting and your nose began to tingle as Baekhyun began to become more blurry as your eyes began to cloud up.

“I will never stop loving you even if it means I destroy myself in the process. You mean the absolute world to me.” He paused to let himself take in a huge breath and for you to allow warm tears roll down your cheeks and eventually evaporate on your arms.

“I never want to lose you again Y/N. I love you.” It was then that he wrapped you up in his arms and rested his tear stained cheek on the side of your head as you two sobbed into each other’s shoulders hoping that this special moment would never end.  

A/N: at last, i have graced your feed with pt3 which so many of you enjoy (i hope). i’m so sorry this took so long! i started school and just got uninterested in writing anything but im back and ready to write more.

though this is the final part so give it some love <3

[mrsteveecook]

should I push my job-searching friend harder, fired coworker was looking at colleague’s burlesque photos, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Should I push my job-searching friend to tell me what’s holding her back?

A good friend of mine was let go from her job (one in her field that she’s had since we graduated college, also located in our college town) in March. At the time, I asked for details, but she didn’t offer much and I didn’t feel the need to probe. She said that it wasn’t ideal, but wasn’t upset at the timing, since her and her husband were relocating to a different, much larger city (the one that I currently reside in).

She and her husband have since moved down … and she still has not been able to find a job in her field. To ensure she had at least some income, she took a part-time retail job and has been doing that ever since.

I’ve tried quite a few times to assist her in her job search by reviewing her resume, sending her relevant job postings and advice from your website, etc., but she still hasn’t been able to find a position in her field. This doesn’t really make sense. She had great experience at her last job and was there for ~4 years, and her field is a growing market with many positions available. I’m starting to suspect that there’s something else that’s holding her back, and her husband has somewhat pushed me to help her more (I have a background/experience in job development). But when I try to ask, she gets slightly defensive and the conversation shuts down pretty quickly — which is unfortunate, since I can see the toll not getting a job in her field is having on her.

Do you have any suggestions for how I can help her? Do I just need to push past her defensiveness to really get to the bottom of what might be going on (not applying to enough jobs, issues with how she left her last job, etc.)?

Do not push her! You’ve reached out and tried to help, but she’s shut down the conversation, which is her prerogative. Trying to push past her defensiveness would be disrespecting the boundaries she’s putting up. She may just not want to talk about it, and that’s okay. Her husband is the only one with standing to insist that she talk about what’s going on (since it presumably affects him fairly directly), but he can’t outsource that standing to you and pressure you to pressure her.

Respect her boundaries, and trust that you’ve made it clear you’re available if she wants help. Meanwhile, focus on being her friend, not her job coach.

2. A recently-fired employee was regularly looking at another employee’s burlesque pics online

We terminated an office employee this week who was always just kind of creepy and walked the line of inappropriateness with his jokes. He was fired for something else, not because of any complaints.

Today I went through his computer because a) we need a lot of files from it b) he didn’t password protect it c) we need to know what websites he has work accounts for, etc. But oh man, he didn’t log out of or delete his browser history. As I was looking through his Chrome history to see what websites he frequented for work, I discovered that he found a coworker’s – who does burlesque – web page which has ALL KINDS OF nudey pics in it. He was regularly looking at these photos of her. This is not necessarily on his work computer, but likely his personal phone because Chrome syncs browser info. So it’s not necessarily about company property. (I also saw numerous porn sites and google searches for steroids, and I was only looking up til Dec 1.)

But the thing is … I should tell no one, right? Because he’s already fired? And because maybe the burlesque coworker gave him the link? I definitely don’t tell any bosses, and I maybe don’t need to say anything to her? I don’t want her to be in trouble. If I say something to her, it can still be considered sexual harassment, even if I’m just warning her? But no need to tell her because what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her? And she has it out in public because she wants to?

We don’t have permanent, on-site HR here, but our “home office” has acting HR people that we don’t communicate with much. I just … tell no one, right? Or document it somehow?

Tell your coworker. Maybe she gave him the link, and maybes he didn’t and would want to know and have the option to lock it down. It’s not sexual harassment to alert her to this (presumably you’re not going to be leering and making provocative comments about her photos and so forth!). You can simply say, “I wanted to let you know that when I was clearing out Bob’s computer, I found he was regularly looking at your burlesque page. You might be totally fine with this, but in case you weren’t aware of it and wouldn’t want coworkers accessing it, I wanted to give you a heads-up.”

I’m not suggesting that you seek advice from HR on this because I don’t want your coworker to deal with any hassle from them, and it could end up playing out that way. So just a simple heads-up to her, and then move on.

3. My boss is trying to manage my diabetes for me

I started a new job in January this year. I love it — the boss is kind (I came from kind of a stressful situation before this), the coworkers are awesome, and I’ve had a great year.

One small fly in the ointment though. I have Type 1 Diabetes. I’ve had it so long I was actually diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes before the name change. My diabetes is well-managed and well-controlled and has never caused any issues in the workplace, other than occasionally having to have a snack at odd times, which has never been an issue. It isn’t an issue here, either. The thing is, my boss is a micromanager, and he’s trying to manage me and my illness as well. We had a three-day trip in October, and he nearly drove me insane questioning if I was eating as I should, should I be doing anything, did I need to test, etc., etc. It’s coming from a good place, I know that, but Oh. My. God.

How do I say “Dude, I was diagnosed in 1968. I’ve got this” and make him understand that, unless I’m laid out on the floor (which hasn’t happened in years), I really have got this?

The next time he brings it up, be very direct: “Bob, I know you’re coming from a place of concern, but I have this under control and I consider it a private health condition. It’s not something I want to discuss at work. Thanks for understanding.”

Then if he brings it after that: “That’s not something I want to talk about at work! But about (work-related topic)…”

4. Can I ask for a re-do after a Skype interview had technical difficulties?

I applied for a position I am well qualified for that is out of state. I was selected for a first round interview via Skype. There were several interviewers in a conference room and it started out okay but kept getting interrupted because of technical issues. Their video feed froze for a while but they could still hear me. Then I think the audio went out because I asked if they could hear me and no one said yes. Then my feed froze and then my audio went out again. All these issues interrupted the flow of the interview and my own ability to give carefully thought out answers. In my thank-you email to the hiring manager, should I ask for another chance? Maybe offer to fly there on my own dime for an in-person interview?

That sucks, and I can understand why it feels like it put you at a disadvantage! In your thank-you email, though, I wouldn’t ask for another chance, per se, but instead frame it as offering to talk again if they feel it would be helpful. The thing is, they may have heard enough to know that they’re moving you forward regardless (in which case you shouldn’t offer to fly out at your own expense), or they may have heard enough to know that you’re not as strong of a match as they’re looking for (in which case asking for another chance will feel off). But you could say something like, “My sense is that the technical issues on our call may have distracted from our focus on the job and what I’d bring to it, and I’d be happy to set up another time to talk if you think it would be useful. I’m not sure how much of my side of the conversation came through clearly, and I’d be glad to cover some of that ground again if the tech issues got in the way.”

5. Should I tell my boss my coworkers are badmouthing her in another language?

Recently, seven new people were added to my team, most of whom are fantastic to work with. However, two of them, both men who speak Korean, are constantly saying homophobic and sexist slurs in Korean against my boss, who is openly gay. (I can also speak Korean and can fully understand what they are saying, although I don’t think they know that. No one else on the team is Korean.) However, they act polite in front of my boss’ face and to the rest of us, they do good work on projects, and my boss seems to like them. I have told a few of my coworkers about this, but they seem split about whether to report them or keep quiet. I don’t know what to do. Should I tell my boss (and/or HR?) or is this a case of what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her?

Tell your boss.

What they’re doing is disgusting and toxic, it’s not okay to do at work even if it’s in another language, and your boss needs to know. (Plus, you shouldn’t have to hear it yourself.)

You may also like:

I received a networking email from a stranger who’s job searching for her husband

my husband’s boss/our friend is sleeping with their married department head

I think my life coach is giving me bad advice

should I push my job-searching friend harder, fired coworker was looking at colleague’s burlesque photos, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

from Ask a Manager http://bit.ly/2QkPDVS

[zeroviraluniverse-blog]

Arizona special election features Debbie Lesko, Hiral Tipirneni: What to know about the race

Visit Now - https://zeroviral.com/arizona-special-election-features-debbie-lesko-hiral-tipirneni-what-to-know-about-the-race/

Arizona special election features Debbie Lesko, Hiral Tipirneni: What to know about the race

Republican Debbie Lesko (left) and Democrat Hiral Tipirneni are battling for Arizona’s 8th congressional district in an April special election.

Arizona’s 8th congressional district hasn’t had a U.S. representative since December – but that will change after an April special election.

Republican Debbie Lesko, a former state lawmaker, is facing off with Democrat Dr. Hiral Tipirneni, a cancer research advocate, to represent the district. The seat was left empty after Rep. Trent Franks, a Republican, resigned in disgrace on Dec. 8, 2017, following reports of sexual misconduct. Franks reportedly discussed surrogacy issues with female aides.

Ahead of the special election, to be held on April 24, here’s what you need to know about the candidates and the district.

Debbie Lesko, Republican

Debbie Lesko served as a state senator and representative for nearly 10 years total.

 (AP Photo/Bob Christie)

When Debbie Lesko reflects on her time serving in Arizona politics, she recalls a golf cart parade.

In 2014, then a state representative, Lesko championed legislation that allowed people to drive golf carts – the preferred mode of transportation in large retirement communities – along the side of the road. At the time, more than 30,000 golf carts were registered in Maricopa County, Arizona, and up to 50 percent of households in Sun City, a large retirement community, used a golf cart, according to the Arizona Republic.

Residents, along with Lesko and then-Gov. Jan Brewer, celebrated with a parade of more than 100 golf carts.

“I have a reputation of doing things that directly help my constituents,” Lesko told Fox News. “People in my district believe in everything that everyone else in the nation believes in: securing the border … national security, a good economy, good jobs. But they also really care about local issues, and I have a history of helping them with that.”

Many of those national issues, according to Lesko’s campaign website, echo some of President Trump’s agenda items, such as building a border wall, strengthening the country’s missile defense program against potential threats from North Korean leader Kim Jong Un (who her website calls an “insane madman”) and protecting the Second Amendment.

Aside from those issues, Lesko also wants to talk about domestic violence. She said she was able to leave an abusive husband about 25 years ago.

“Domestic violence is a very prevalent problem, and it can happen to anyone. It doesn’t matter what their status is, what their educational background is,” she said. “It happens to so many women, and I just want them to know they can get out of it and become successful, because I did it. I’m living proof of it.”

She has since remarried and has three children.

Lesko first got into politics with her local Republican Party, starting off as a district chairman, an elected volunteer position. She rose through the ranks, becoming a state Republican Party officer before she won a state House seat. She served as a representative for six years and as a state senator for three.

Rep. Jim Jordan, R-Ohio, has endorsed Lesko, his office confirmed to Fox News.

Hiral Tipirneni, Democrat

Democrat Hiral Tipirneni works in cancer research, an issue that she is personally passionate about.

 (Celina Medina via AP)

A former emergency room physician, Dr. Hiral Tipirneni has dedicated her career to cancer research after the death of her mother and nephew. And it’s the skills she developed as a doctor – working together with a group of diverse people with different perspectives to help patients – that she wants to take to Washington.

Tipirneni knows that she is running as a Democrat in a conservative district, but she doesn’t dwell on that. For her, it’s not about a political party so much as it is about representing the district.

“One of the big reasons I decided to run is I’m so frustrated by the lack of forward progress, divisiveness and standing solely on a partisan [ground],” Tipirneni told Fox News.

“I’m looking to bring people together to the table to have a conversation,” she continued. “A lot of folks feel alienated. I would fight on their behalf and not fight about ideology.”

Her campaign website pushes for more bipartisan solutions to hot-button issues. For example, on the Second Amendment, Tipirneni says she supports the rights of “law-abiding Americans to obtain firearms through legal channels to protect their homes, themselves and their families, and for hunting and sport.” But she also supports “commonsense gun reform,” such as eliminating certain background check loopholes.

The top of the Second Amendment section on Tipirneni’s site declares: “When progressives and conservatives work together, we can accomplish great things.”

While Tipirneni has volunteered on other campaigns, this is her first foray into politics. She said she isn’t “looking to build [her] political resume” but just wants to help those in her district.

“The reason I’m doing this is because I am a constituent as well in this district, and I’ve spent many years frustrated, feeling that I don’t have a voice in D.C.,” she said.

Along with her husband, Tipirneni has three children. Her daughters are in college, and her son is in high school. Tipirneni also serves on the board of directors for the Maricopa Health Foundation.

The district

The 8th congressional district includes a small area just outside of Phoenix. In the 2016 presidential election, President Trump beat Hillary Clinton by 21 percent in the district, according to statistics provided by the Arizona secretary of state’s office.

The district is also home to Sun City – the expansive and “original” retirement community.

There are more than 455,000 registered voters in the district: 187,129 Republicans, 109,555 Democrats and 154,764 voters not registered to a party. Franks didn’t face a Democratic challenger in 2016 or 2014.

Gabby Giffords, a Democrat who survived an assassination attempt in 2011, represented the district for five years until she resigned a year after the attack.

Issues to look out for

Immigration: Illegal immigration is a large issue for voters in the 8th district, according to Lesko.

“[Illegal] immigration, just naturally because we’re a border state, costs our state a lot of money. People are frustrated that – at least under the Obama administration – the federal government was not securing the border,” Lesko said.

Lesko says on her campaign website that she’s “committed to working with President Trump” to secure the border.

For Tipirneni, immigration is a “truly personal” issue, as she and her parents emigrated to the U.S. from India.

“I passionately believe that we must remain a land of opportunity for those who are willing to work for it,” she says on her campaign website.

“We ALL deserve an accountable immigration system providing a clear, affordable path to citizenship for those who qualify and have earned it. We also need secure borders. While those two ideas should not be mutually exclusive, our current climate politicizes an issue that, at its core, has real lives at stake,” the site reads.

Tipirneni calls for a solution for DACA and comprehensive immigration reform. She said she is opposed to Trump’s proposed border wall as she believes the funds for it “would be better spent towards securing our border in other ways.”

Health care: Voters in the district, particularly senior citizens, are concerned about health care, including the future of Medicare and the state’s Medicaid program, Arizona Health Care Cost Containment System (AHCCCS).

Tipirneni said that as she’s knocked on doors during her campaign so far, many people have expressed concern about health care issues – particularly Medicare.

Tipirneni’s platform includes healthcare reform, including expanding Medicare to a younger consumer base. She acknowledged the Affordable Care Act has “serious flaws [that] must be addressed if we are to improve access to healthcare today as well as generations to come.”

Drew Anderson, senior communications adviser for the Arizona Democratic Party, told Fox News that voters are “simply fed up” with Republicans’ “chaotic tactics to rip away their health care opportunities, including access to Medicare and Arizona’s AHCCCS.”

While Medicaid and Medicare issues are not listed on her campaign website, part of Lesko’s platform includes a commitment to “vote to prohibit any federal funding for abortion or infanticide.”

“I’m a strong believer that life begins at conception and we must protect the most vulnerable among us,” she said.

Kaitlyn Schallhorn is a Reporter for Fox News. Follow her on Twitter @K_Schallhorn.

[theheartofcoding]

Password Rules Are Bullshit

Of the many, many, many bad things about passwords, you know what the worst is? Password rules.

If we don't solve the password problem for users in my lifetime I am gonna haunt you from beyond the grave as a ghost http://pic.twitter.com/Tf9EnwgoZv

— Jeff Atwood (@codinghorror) August 11, 2015

Let this pledge be duly noted on the permanent record of the Internet. I don't know if there's an afterlife, but I'll be finding out soon enough, and I plan to go out mad as hell.

The world is absolutely awash in terrible password rules:

Dumb Password Rules

Bad Password Policies

Password Requirements Shaming

But I don't need to tell you this. The more likely you are to use a truly random password generation tool, like us über-geeks are supposed to, the more likely you have suffered mightily – and daily – under this regime.

Have you seen the classic XKCD about passwords?

We can certainly debate whether "correct horse battery staple" is a viable password strategy or not, but the argument here is mostly that length matters.

No, seriously, it does. I'll go so far as to say your password is too damn short. These days, given the state of cloud computing and GPU password hash cracking, any password of 8 characters or less is perilously close to no password at all.

So then perhaps we have one rule, that passwords must not be short. A long password is much more likely to be secure than a short one … right?

What about this four character password?

✅🐎🔋🖇️

What about this eight character password?

正确马电池订书钉

Or this (hypothetical, but all too real) seven character password?

@codinghorror I'm sorry but your password must contain 1 char each from: Arabic, Chinese, Thai, Korean, Klingon, Wingdings and an emoji

— Finley Creative (@FinleyCreative) March 3, 2016

You may also be surprised, if you paste the above four Unicode emojis into your favorite login dialog (go ahead – try it), to discover that it … isn't in fact four characters.

Oh dear.

"💩".length === 2

Our old pal Unicode strikes again.

As it turns out, even the simple rule that "your password must be of reasonable length" … ain't necessarily so. Particularly if we stop thinking like Ugly ASCII Americans.

And what of those nice, long passwords? Are they always secure?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 0123456789012345689 passwordpassword usernamepassword

Of course not, because have you met any users lately?

They consistently ruin every piece of software I've ever written. Yes, yes, I know you, Mr. or Ms. über-geek, know all about the concept of entropy. But expressing your love of entropy as terrible, idiosyncratic password rules …

must contain uppercase

must contain lowercase

must contain a number

must contain a special character

… is a spectacular failure of imagination in a world of Unicode and Emoji.

As we built Discourse, I discovered that the login dialog was a remarkably complex piece of software, despite its surface simplicity. The primary password rule we used was also the simplest one: length. Since I wrote that, we've already increased our minimum password default length from 8 to 10 characters. And if you happen to be an admin or moderator, we decided the minimum has to be even more, 12 characters.

I also advocated checking passwords against the 100,000 most common passwords. If you look at 10 million passwords from data breaches in 2016, you'll find the top 25 most used passwords are:

123456 123456789 qwerty 12345678 111111 1234567890 1234567 password 123123 987654321 qwertyuiop mynoob 123321 666666 18atcskd2w 7777777 1q2w3e4r 654321 555555 3rjs1la7qe google 1q2w3e4r5t 123qwe zxcvbnm 1q2w3e

Even this data betrays some ASCII-centrism. The numbers are the same in any culture I suppose, but I find it hard to believe the average Chinese person will ever choose the passwords "password", "quertyuiop", or "mynoob". So this list has to be customizable, localizable.

(One interesting idea is to search for common shorter password matches inside longer passwords, but I think this would cause too many false positives.)

Also of note: only 5 of the top 25 passwords are 10 characters, so if we require 10 character passwords, we've already reduced our exposure to the most common passwords by 80%. I saw this originally when I gathered millions and millions of leaked passwords for Discourse research, then filtered the list down to just those passwords reflecting our new minimum requirement of 10 characters or more. It suddenly became a tiny list. (If you've done similar common password research, please do share your results in the comments.)

I'd like to offer the following common sense advice to my fellow developers:

1. Password rules are bullshit

They don't work.

They heavily penalize your ideal audience, people that use real random password generators. Hey guess what, that password randomly didn't have a number or symbol in it. I just double checked my math textbook, and yep, it's possible. I'm pretty sure.

They frustrate average users, who then become uncooperative and use "creative" workarounds that make their passwords less secure.

Are often wrong, in the sense that they are grossly incomplete and/or insane, per the many shaming links I've shared above.

Seriously, for the love of God, stop with this arbitrary password rule nonsense already. If you won't take my word for it, read this 2016 NIST password rules recommendation. It's right there, "no composition rules". However, I do see one error, it should have said "no bullshit composition rules".

2. Enforce a minimum Unicode password length

One rule is at least easy to remember, understand, and enforce. This is the proverbial one rule to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them.

It's simple. Users can count. Most of them, anyway.

It works. The data shows us it works; just download any common password list of your choice and group by password length.

The math doesn't lie. All other things being equal, a longer password will be more random – and thus more secure – than a short password.

Accept that even this one rule isn't inviolate. A minimum password length of 6 on a Chinese site might be perfectly reasonable. A 20 character password can be ridiculously insecure.

If you don't allow (almost) every single unicode character in the password input field, you are probably doing it wrong.

It's a bit of an implementation detail, but make sure maximum password length is reasonable as well.

3. Check for common passwords

As I've already noted, the definition of "common" depends on your audience, and language, but it is a terrible disservice to users when you let them choose passwords that exist in the list of 10k, 100k, or million most common known passwords from data breaches. There's no question that a hacker will submit these common passwords in a hack attempt – and it's shocking how far you can get, even with aggressive password attempt rate limiting, using just the 1,000 most common passwords.

1.6% have a password from the top 10 passwords

4.4% have a password from the top 100 passwords

9.7% have a password from the top 500 passwords

13.2% have a password from the top 1,000 passwords

30% have a password from the top 10,000 passwords

Lucky you, there are millions and millions of real breached password lists out there to sift through. It is sort of fun to do data forensics, because these aren't hypothetical synthetic Jack the Ripper password rules some bored programmer dreamed up, these are real passwords used by real users.

Do the research. Collect the data. Protect your users from themselves.

4. Check for basic entropy

No need to get fancy here; pick the measure of entropy that satisfies you deep in the truthiness of your gut. But remember you have to be able to explain it to users when they fail the check, too.

I had a bit of a sad when I realized that we were perfectly fine with users selecting a 10 character password that was literally "aaaaaaaaaa". In my opinion, the simplest way to do this is to ensure that there are at least (x) unique characters out of (y) total characters. And that's what we do as of the current beta version of Discourse. But I'd love your ideas in the comments, too. The simpler and clearer the better!

5. Reject special case passwords

I'm embarrassed to admit that when building the Discourse login, as I discussed in The God Login, we missed two common cases that you really have to block:

password equal to username

password equal to email address

🤦 If you are using Discourse versions earlier than 1.4, I'm so sorry and please upgrade immediately.

Similarly, you might also want to block other special cases like

password equal to URL or domain of website

password equal to app name

In short, try to think outside the password input box, like a user would.

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from Coding Horror http://ift.tt/2mafl0K