#there’s no way in hell I’m typing all those nymph names lmao

[queenpiranhadon]

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺Star Crossed Haters Mythology ༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

Allaida created Kuhlwen and Elektras and all other non-god beings on the planet. They did not birth the twins as by typical reproductive conventions, considering that, as the first being in the world, they did not have the need for reproductive organs as they were the only being in existence. Allaida created their offspring by infusing each element with a piece of their soul, and Kuhlwen and Elektras embody not only an element, but also a part of Allaida.

Allaida presents themselves as agender because, when they first created all animals, there was more than one sex. The diversity between the morphs of animals was much more noticeable and plentiful in the early millennia of the world. But, as evolution took over, many creatures evolved to have only 2 sexes. Those species found it unnecessary with their biological makeup to have more than 2 sexes. Of course, some species still have more than 2 sexes, and some can switch between the two. 

The Parent God created Kuhlwen when a small piece of a meteorite fell off the full rock. It contained interesting compounds which are not identifiable with the Espyn technology currently available, but nevertheless, Allaida saw something in the meteorite and felt that it needed to become sentient – hence Kuhlwen’s existence. Elektras was created when Allaida was once struck by lightning, and it took a piece of their soul along with it.

Kuhlwen and Elektras are the eldest of the gods. They are twins and the embodiment of Earth as a whole. Elektras’ control over the rain is what accumulated into Thanirrh later on. Thanirrh later did eventually take domain over rain – as did Glacon, who was created from the accumulation of snow and hail, but instead of taking domain over rain, he took domain over snow, sleet and hail. 

Vohona was created from Kuhlwen – melted lava transcended into fire, blah blah blah – but Kuhlwen still has domain over lava, as well as metals too. Kuhlwen embodies the more careful and sturdy side of Allaida, mildly influenced by her element of rocks. While she treads lightly, Kuhlwen’s abilities over lava can burst out into her moments of fury, causing volcanic eruptions. The kingdom that Kuhlwen has claimed as her own is Akameen.

Elektras controls the winds and electricity. Electricity is fully controlled by her, but he also has offspring for each of the winds: North, South, East, and West, named for the cardinal directions and which wind they control. The wind spirits are not gods, although they are immortal. They are merely wind nymphs, like the Greek Naiads. He represents the more energetic and pushy side of Allaida. The Storm God also has twins – Thanirrh, the Water God, and Glacon, the Ice God. She presides over the kingdom Minsare.

Vohona has a much fierier spirit than her mother, Kuhlwen. She holds a lot of anger inside, preferring not to reveal her more personal emotions (this may or may not directly affect everyone who she gifts with a Reya [seen most prominently in our very own Apex], causing their personalities to reflect Vohona’s). Her feud with the Nature Goddess is the cause of many forest fires. Vohona claims the kingdom Fujimura as her own. The Fire Goddess also has nymphs that assist her – Ash and Ember. The nymphs take over the forest fires, and Vohona keeps them in check.

Thanirrh is the god presiding over water. He is a much more “go with the flow” kind of guy, reflecting his affinity for water. However, like the ocean, he has a darker side to him. Horrid weather out in the waters, such as hurricanes or tropical storms, are caused by Thanirrh’s fury. Thanirrh has a twin brother, Glacon, who controls ice and snow. The Water God calls Hydeau his kingdom. Thanirrh also has a nymph for assistance – Mist. She, well, controls the mists, as Thanirrh has more responsibilities and cannot take over mist.

Glacon is the ice and snow god. Thanirrh is his twin brother, and Glacon is the polar opposite of his twin. His personality is much colder and icy, much like is expected from his element. The Ice God may be a deity, but he cannot bring about winter all on his own. For this reason, Glacon enlists the assistance of Leedstas, creatures he created that have minor control over winter, to help him spread the icy season. Glacon declares Khaenpanii as his kingdom.

Lastly, there’s Parako, the Nature Goddess. She was the last of the gods to be created, and, unlike most of the gods, was created by Allaida. Parako was rejected by her siblings for her element, as it showed her as “weak”, and deities are meant to be strong. However, Parako has a particularly good relationship with Thanirrh. She resides in Watarumi, the island that houses the training academy for children with Reyas, as the mainland kingdoms were already taken by her relatives. Parako does not rule over Watarumi like her siblings do with their kingdoms because Allaida thinks the Nature Goddess is too young. This is what led to Parako being forgotten by nearly all Espyns on Dodomi. Just like her older siblings, Parako was created by Allaida by infusing some of the Parent God’s soul with the corresponding element. Allaida infused the calmer and nicer part of them into a cherry tree, thus creating Parako.

Nymphs, as referenced earlier, are creatures created by the gods to assist them. Espyns, on the other hand, were created by Allaida, as with the other regular creatures. The Espyns inhabit Dodomi and the few exceptional ones get Reyas, while nymphs have a minor ability to control some gods’ elements. All gods, but Allaida and Parako, have kingdoms and give the royalty Reyas. The nymphs that inhabit this world are North, South, East, and West for Elektras, Ember and Ash for Vohona, Mist for Thanirrh, and the Leedstas for Glacon. Each nymph (or nymph species) has a job, assigned by their creator. Parako is the only deity that has no offspring/nymphs. Allaida created the original three gods, and Kuhlwen created Vohona, so they do not have nymphs.

A/N: Nyota wrote all of this and it caused her some seriously burn-out but hopefully this is helpful to the main plot line a little bit more (^○^).

[borisbubbles]

EUROVISION 2018 #5 & #4

05. SWITZERLAND ZiBBZ - “Stones” 32nd place

~*Wild Jokah On A Gole Froam*~

Yanking away the top NQ slot in this year’s ranking is, of course, everybody’s favourite Sibling alliance, ZiBZZ!! 

As you know, I looooooooove mental health awareness songs, and I particularly love those with approaches that work (*cough* NOT “Goodbye” *cough*). While most of these songs are doused in motherly, cloddlesome tones, “Stones” doesn’t beat around the bush and argues that one must confront their fears HEAD-ON. 

To transliterate the (ridic, amusing) lyrics into Common English: 

“People have always been shitbags and have treated others like crap for aeons and there’s nothing I can do about it because people won’t fucking change.. SO fucking WHAT? Why would let those assholes affect my present and future the same way they’ve influenced my past? Fuck that noise. It’s time to let the inner demons rest, grow as a person AND help others get out of the deep end while doing so.”. 

Holy fuck what an epic Truth BOMB, I can relate to all of that scalding hot tea. The best way to get around depression, anger and frustration *is* to 1) remove you from the toxic environment 2) find kindred spirits and support each other 3) find the courage to leave your past behind and build a future for yourself. Mental health is a BATTLEFIELD that HITS YOU with its best shots (did I just ref Pat Benatar twice? 🤭) while you’re struggling and “Stones” acklowedges this reality so hard. About fucking time someone lit the flares of ferocity to stand up against BULLYING and HATE. ALL HAIL COCO the ZiBB, FIRST OF HER NAME, THE UNDUN, MOTHER OF FLARES, KHALEESI OF THE DOWNTRODDEN, NON-THROWER OF STONES, BREAKER OF TABOOS, QUEEN OF THE HURT, TORMENTED AND BROWBEATEN. 

Ain’t the only one who don’t wanna throw stooooooooooones

But of course, message alone isn’t enough to get such a high ranking, but fortunately ZiBBZ delivered musically as well. “Stones” has the perfect type of melody for Eurovision: catchy,  repetitive and accessible, but never boring or tiresome because the arrangement was spot.fucking.on. The horns and tuba’s give the music so much gravitas, the backing AHEMs are excellent  and CoCo’s five-packs-a-day type of gravelly voice adds so much realness to the song. "Stones” as a whole is jarring and complex and succeeds at elliciting the emotional response it aims for. This is my favourite song of the 42, by no small margin. 

And then there’s the staging, which... I have mixed feelings about, not gonnal ie. It saddens me that even at this high a rank I must again resort to critique. I mean, the ACT was great. That motherfuckin’ flare is one of the few goosebump moments I got from this year, Coco is Minerva in a hipster body, Stee is a lovable goof, but... you have this amazing, dynamic song that is capable BLOWING EVERYONE AWAY and it  kinda... doesn’t? 

I would say that “Stones” was mostly hampered by its camerawork, which was mostly AWFUL. Which idiot [Hans Pancake 🙄] is responsible for framing such a powerful, uptempo song with slow, drawn-out shots?

I mean, shots such as this one:

(why didn’t they just focus on Stee??? or the audience?)

and that one:

(You can clearly see Coco throwing away a drumstick at the start of the preformance... Why the faraway shots?? Why no close-ups when she’s drumming happening???? NO ONE CARED ABOUT SANNA’S LIGHT CAGE SO WHY WOULD THEY START CARING NOW??? (seriously, fuck you Hans Culpepper))

This is the reason why “Stones” failed to ensnare the audience’s attention. Wrong people with the right to stage and ZiBBZ can’t do anything about it. I chose to not take it into account when I decided on their final ranking, but it’s sooooo frustrating to see Switzerland FINALLY strike the motherload and fall flat because of some moronic cinematographic decisions. Now watch Switz pick something mediocre and be overrated by the Basics/NQ once again (lol I say this without having listened to the Swiss songs, but can you blame me?). Oh well, ZiBBZ have since moved on to better things -

- and so should we :). Still praying they pull a Poli in five years or so. THE WORLD NEEDS IT

04. SLOVENIA Lea Sirk - “Hvala, ne!” 22nd place

Damn’ this is such a tough decision. Cutting entries loose at this point really hurts y’all.

So as you know, I really, REALLY fucking love Lea Sirk and even said that, in the unlikely event that she qualified, she’d WIN the ranking. However, while I am probably obliged by contract to grant her the first place, I can honestly say that... I like my top three more?  Lea could have easily won this ranking, had my opinions on Elina, DoReDos and Ieva stayed the same; but they didn’t (they went up obvi), so here we are. The above paragraph is just a disclaimer to explain why Slovenia don’t rank higher than they do, because holy fuck this "Hvala, ne!” was awesoooooooooome. Anti-establishmentarian trap-pop that was a shock qualifier and made a flashy gimmick work TWICE <3 There’s a reason why the Good Gays Fanbase (do I include myself in that? hmmm 🤔) have nicknamed it “Hvala Slay!”. 

But first, (-- Julie Chen-Moonves) let’s discuss the PHENOMENON that is Lea Sirk. My love for her predates this contest by several years, from the time when I only knew her as the botty cyborg sidekick to the heiress of the Ravenclaw Empire herself, Tinkara Kovac. 

“KEN U BEE-LIEF ET???”

who happens to be *my* fave of Outstanding Eurovision Year 2014 (Yes, over Conchita, go cry) and is a contender for fave entry of the decade. The Summer of 2014 was a fantastic experience, partly thanks to Lea and I will forever cherish her for that reason. So when this beautiful dubstep fae was selected to rep Slovenia, now sporting a lilac killer braid, a trashbag jumpsuit and a cabal of slut-dropping dance devas of destruction... like *instantly* fanning my proverbial clit right there. It only got better during Lea’s pre-show content, proving her not only cool chick onstage, but off the stage as well. Having a teenage girl crush on Waylon <3 (Confessing this IN FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE WHICH INCLUDED BOTH WAYLON AND HER HUSBAND lmao bless <3). Impersonating Salvador on some Slovene version of the Soundmix Show <3 There’s no way Lea couldn’t deliver in Lisbon.

And “deliver” is underselling what Lea did, holy fucking hell that live was EVERYTHING. It’s hard to even name what the brightest shining star of their performance was, since Slovenia brought an entire fucking galaxy  of them. I’d say the best thing was probably the choreography, which managed to be spellbinding, professional and hilarious all at once.  Lea and her dancers-in-crime put on an amazing, electrifying show, aided by dynamic camerawork and lighting (Take note, Hans Pancake 🙄). 

My personal fave thing about “Hvala ne!” however was that it QUALIFIED BY A COMFORTABLE MARGIN AND WOULD HAVE UNDER ANY POINTS SYSTEM <345871 I love a deserving shock qualifier (see: Albania), but when it happens to a preshow fave of mine that I considered all but doomed (and a contender for last in the semi). . . There are no superlatives in my glossary that can describe the state of elation I felt when Lea was announced as a finalist. Netta might as well cede her trophy because the Eurogaes were the actual winners of this year 💗🧡💛💚💙💜 “Hvala, ne!” more like “HVALA motherfucking SLAYS HATERS” amirite???

Granted “Hvala, ne!” was the same in Lisbon as during the preshow, with only two marked exceptions. One was Lea had added a chorus in shabby Portuguese (”OBRIGADA NAO NAO!!!” <3) which was hilar, and the other was... the break!

Granted the semi break was kinda *blah* to me. “Zomg the music dies riiiiiiight before the bridge how coincidental”. Sure, Jan. Either way, I found it moderately funny, mostly because of the random extras that were clearly being paid by production to oversell it <3 

But the best thing was that it WORKED and brought Lea to the finale where she performed a SECOND break and this one was downright epic. The audience actually sang along with her <3 <3 <3 <3 Two different instances of the same gimmick and making it work BOTH times <3 When will YOUR faves???

I suppose that, at the end of the day, “Hvala, ne!” was an experimental song that you either love or hate. Why anyone would ever hate this radiant nymph is beyond me, but whatever. My ranking, my rules, ya shallow fools. I *loved* this bizarre mix of K-Pop and Hip-Hop, sung in Slovene and Portuguese, (which is the most unique combination of languages ever featured in a Eurovision entry, I’m sure <3), with badass self-referential lyrics that SLAM DOWN musical conformity in a year that was all about rewarding it. In other words PRECISELY WHAT THIS CONTEST NEEDED. You know, there are plenty of countries out there that have never scored a top five in Eurovision and probably never will until they find their monster runaway winner (Lordi, Salvador). I *hope* the next one is from Slovenia. Raiven performing a song by Maraaya, with Lea and BQL as the back-up singers. Come on y’all, let’s make Eurovision Great Again. Hvala, slay, slay, slay, slay

 RANKING SO FAR

04. Slovenia (Lea Sirk - “Hvala, ne!”)

05. Switzerland (ZiBBZ - “Stones”)

06. Germany (Michael Schulte - “You let me walk alone”)

07. Albania (Eugent Bushpepa - “Mall”)

08. France (Madame Monsieur - “Mercy”)

09. Hungary (AWS - “Viszlát nyár”)

10. Finland (Saara Aalto - “Monsters”)

11. Bulgaria (EQUINOX - “Bones”)

12. Denmark (Rasmussen - “Higher ground”)

13. Malta (Christabelle - “Taboo”)

14. Cyprus (Eleni Foureira - “Fuego”)

15. United Kingdom (SuRie - “Storm”)

16. Serbia (Balkanika - “Nova Deca”)

17. Portugal (Cláudia Pascoal - “O jardim”)

18. The Netherlands (Waylon - “Outlaw in ‘em”)

19. Ukraine (MÉLOVIN - “Under the ladder”)

20. Macedonia (Eye Cue - “Lost and Found”)

21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)

22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)

23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)

24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)

25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)

26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)

27. Norway (Alexander Rybak  - “That’s how you write a song”)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)

29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)

30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)

31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)

32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)

33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)

34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente”)

35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We got love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Jozef - “Lie to me”)