#there's also a comparison i wanted to make abt characters who “broke up” from romantic expectations losing a lot of what they had before

[beescake]

PLEASE PLEASE MEGADUMP THE ARASOL!!! PLEAAASEE MR BEESCAKE I AM ON MY KNEES BEGGING YOU

HFHGHD GLADLY aaa i’ve been adding notes to it here and there for months but just hesitant to post it bcs im 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂

also this is just my own takeaway of the events, it doesn’t necessarily comply to the Ultimate Truth of Canon-Alignment or represent the actual facts of what hussie intended! v sentimental smh but hopefully its still interesting to read

i love when characters inform each other by proximity, it's one of my fave things to see in media :') it feels even more significant when two characters deliberately choose to stick together, so that when one operates, you can tell the other is similarly aligned in associative solidarity.

sollux is a keystone of this trope — whoever he aligns with is a wordless statement, a nod of approval. this stood out to me bcs the main four humans were alr friends by default, but once you reach hivebent you realize the trolls can actively choose who they want to hang out with.

and as we all know, after assessing every troll's biases/loyalties, sollux is the only one who maintains his selective preference for innately Good 👍 people.

aradia is such a beautiful character honestly, she evokes such incredible feelings in me. she might not have been consistently written with care but the best parts of her character are truly stunning. i think it's easy to remember sollux as the self-sacrificing one bc he's so open about it (and his friends frequently react to his Moments) but when you compare him to aradia, it's always struck me

how much more. raw it is

to be so alone as an agent of time, having to orchestrate immeasurably harrowing events nobody understands or gives a fuck about

with your role painted in the story as one who must tend to the needs of the narrative, responsible to match every next note

because when you're given the capabilities, it becomes your duty to carry it out.

it becomes expected of you to keep experimenting and arranging the machinations to work for everyone, dusting off hundreds of necessary failures to keep going

and having to be so unwavering in your drive knowing miserably that there's no one who can help you but yourself.

or alternatively: to make things fun! so other people won't think twice about letting you go off on your own.

sure she's had some very good buds, notably thanks to Team Charge v Team Scourge antics.

and yet, at the end of the day, the one friend that kept choosing her time and time again was the friend with the highest standards.

i can see why people like to define arasol as moirails/matesprits but surprisingly i find the nondescript, unlabeled aspect of their relationship more straightforward to understand.

there's no shortage of people who would accommodate sollux. most of the surviving trolls are his oldest friends bcs he’d chosen them well. his transparency with his feelings had built him strong friendships that won’t falter or break, regardless of how much of a dick he can be. they’ve already seen and accepted him at his worst, and they still like him for who he is.

contrast that with aradia, who'd been so approachable, friendly and reliable in her exchanges it was super fun to talk to her. but the moment she became depressed, all her connections broke down.

her friends became hesitant to interact with her (until she became god tier, “happy” and amicable again) because her gloom and resignation didn’t serve them. she dealt with it alone.

there’s def something of note here abt the disparity between the way male & female characters are written+perceived in homestuck (esp parallel arasol with davejade) but i won’t go into that lmaoo

with this in mind i like to think of sollux as a gift to her, a loyal companion given to complement and commend her resolve. she's capable of doing so much alone but hussie took the time to build her and sollux's relationship as one of a unit; a set.

the ambiguity of their status does complicate things, but i do believe it makes sense with their characters. aradia's relationship with romance is a rocky one, the dubious stringalong equius had with her is a pointed reminder that her feelings of attraction are ultimately controlled by the author writing her.

unlike the other trolls who can openly address and own up to their crushes, aradia had romantic emotions forced upon her (especially when hussie implies 'she kissed equius back on her own volition'). and it seems like her character is so intrinsically neutral abt attraction that even when forced by the almighty powers above, she's unable to retain it wholly.

however, looking back to pre-game when she could actually "choose" her own feelings, she did have a crush on sollux.

their soft spots for each other were so obvious to the point where other people could see it.

taunting aside, when vriska comments on their unit as bf/gf it actually informs the audience that arasol's relationship is romantic in nature despite not aligning with the quadrant system.

even while dead, aradia could still describe her care for sollux, expressing that she would like to see him happy. if they had more time to explore their relationship on alternia, it's possible they could've settled in a quadrant once they grew older.

but going back to the lack of labels, their dynamic was affected once more when aradia became god tier.

to me, her ascension was both the perfect culmination and possible closure of her character. it's the light at the end of her journey toiling through countless of timelines where she had to actively assess and participate. that's why it's cool to see her being silly and having fun giving guidance, passively exploring and watching other people do their parts.

and yet the joy of her freedom makes it hard to explore further introspection. if we take her by her word, she'd already come to terms with the hurt she's been through and forgiven those involved.

i can't help feeling attuned to how impersonal and detached it can be, to devote and meld your identity so completely with your designated position as Maid of Time until you've become hard for your old friends (and even some readers!) to personally connect to.

idk post-canon but i assume there’s some degree of similarity to be bridged here with aradia's god tier and how the hs2 humans' Ultimate forms was described as a consolidation of all their possibilities. since aradia's classpect is inherently of service to Time, going god-tier may have elevated her beyond personhood with the "game construct" possessing her entirely. sollux doesn't realize the extent of it bcs he's still mortal, but a part of him may have subconsciously understood this.

i think there is a core aspect to aradia that was lost to the dehumanizing glory of god tier — a core aspect that may have contained an element of why sollux enjoyed talking to her in the first place.

to him, aradia hadn't just been a nice girl, she was a cool girl. despite not having much in common, he's still willing to chill next to her so she's not alone while she does what needs to get done.

back on alternia, they held a mutual and equal-level regard for each other that could've definitely settled into something permanent. but now, he's placed himself in a position where he can be kept around or left behind at will. the parameters of the relationship are largely in aradia's court, so any label she suggests to identify their relationship with he's likely to accept.

but that's why it's so difficult to label it. because god tier aradia may not necessarily Want quadrants or relationship labels. rather than the initial romantic attachment, their commitment to each other had evolved into one fundamentally of companionship.

no label? ok fine. no matter what, he still thinks she's a good soul worth latching on to. the best, actually. aradia > everyone else.

even if it gets stilted at times. there's an unexpected struggle to connect when sollux's go-to default for talking points is his feelings about things, and aradia may not want to talk about emotions all the time.

not to mention god tier aradia became an observer, especially of chaos. but sollux's avoidance of involvement comes partially from his innate pressure to get involved if something goes wrong. and he can't always tell when something goes wrong, because aradia doesn't mind if things go wrong anymore.

it's a non-negotiable preference that causes them to take the occasional time apart, a new boundary that wouldn't have existed before the game and aradia's god tier.

but just like how his friends tolerated his moods, sollux accepts aradia as she is. with no quadrants, their connection doesn't break down because there's no implicit romantic expectations to be disappointed by or resentful over.

sometimes when i see hs content that deliberately distances sollux from aradia, i assume this is the dissonance people might have felt. people might find it "easier" to be cynical about them bcs of this strange tension.

but idc lmao. grab that shit by the neck

lack of easy resolutions and cleanly tied ribbons is pretty standard of homestuck and imo it doesn't make arasol's dynamic any less incredible. with the right affection and consideration, there's still so much potential to develop the nuance of their relationship outside of the popular quadrant-based depictions.

hs has a lot of really great character compatibilities but the way aradia and sollux are in their own special orbit is why i can write this much about them in the first place. it's that frail innocence between first loves that makes it so sweet to me, two kids who grew up too fast playing guesswork without being clear where they're going.

ultimately i do think you're meant to feel a little tragedy for just how much they care for each other, even if they can't quite establish it in simple terms.

maybe they keep taking breaks to progress their own paths. maybe they remain as anchor partners while seeing other people. but even if you decide to separate them, they're still (awkwardly) texting each other updates all the while. and when they reunite it feels like coming home.

and well. more than anything, i like to believe that they do want to be exclusive.

they're just afraid. after all, they're still learning how to love, beyond the projections of the foursquare quadrant system they had inadvertently distanced themselves from since young.

they might not have everything figured out, but they'll get there eventually if you just hold them together and write them there.

optional post-canon segment:

one of the limitations of main hs is that (monogamous) relationships are often written as the go-to solution to wrap up character growth; it's an easy "patch" to imagine characters getting their happy ending because they have a partner, and those who don't end up with someone don't get that closure (most notably jade).

hs2 reaffirms this by suggesting that aradia's character cannot progress without letting sollux go, because happily settling in a relationship automatically locks your potential.

that pathetic panel of sollux staring emptily into the sky is still my fave hs2 spoiler ngl i find the impact of their parting so emotionally provoking precisely bcs they were written in original hs to be each other's forever, coming back together again and again

but now, they're subject to the decisions of the post-canon authors who might choose to deviate from that.

it's not new for them to part, but now there's an underlying worry that her dropping him off this time might be the last time. while i think the prospect of shattering their stability to make them grow separately sounds fun on paper, no amount of me desperately hoping for a good execution is gonna guarantee it

idk. i guess prediction-wise im expecting sollux in classic dramatic-hs2 fashion to tell dave to back off aradia LMAO. otherwise it's just gon be sollux and karkat pathetically watching aradia and dave from a distance swimming in their unresolved feelings for narratively-powerful time players smh obvs it sounds corny as hell but who knows its still plausible

srsly tho i hope they take the opportunity to develop arasol's relationship in a fresh direction that doesn't hurt me too badly...... and i hope they force sollux out of his comfort zone. i like watching him struggle :-)

[waywardsalt]

ship thoughts bc im trying to untangle what i want to do with this (not limited to tags this time yippee)

ok so like. bellum x linebeck is a weird ship and the only ship i have in my small little collection thats Like That

i mean. the other ones are like…

damibeck is soft oc x canon its my canon linebeck ship theyre boyfriends theyre husbands damien is his childhood friend and they are very close from the get go for various reasons its like. generally normal romance its a comfort thing at times but also something i can make interesting or at the center of a conflict

ganonbeck is a fun crackship sort thing that started as a joke but turns out to have genuinely interesting ideas you can use with it so its probably the most versatile in how i use it

bellum x linebeck is the only one where they canonically meet and good lord idk how to convert my weird abstracts ideas and thoughts (and joke ideas) into coherent ship ideas but ill try here

like. bellum isnt much of a character while linebeck is a great character so off the bat i kinda have to figure out. what bellum is like. but i think he generally finds linebeck interesting and is civil in a post game setting for a handful of reasons, including that curiosity abt linebeck and a vague respect for him. i think linebeck has a shaky understanding of bellum as well as a similarly weird respect, but would need a little more time to really trust him, but they both start off with some weird comfort bc like. they probably know each other p intimately already

like with bellumbeck stuff bellum likely learns a lot abt linebeck through that, and going with the ideas i have abt what goes on during that, linebeck learns a lot abt bellum, too, so they have a baseline understanding of each other. i want to keep empathy out of it generally, esp on bellum’s side of things (i hc linebeck as being low empathy but with bellum specifically its either low emparhy too or no empathy at all, problem being i have a hard time like. recognizing empathy vs no empathy like idk what the difference is if that makes sense. i want bellum to actively choose to be nice or w/e instead of just like. feeling bad or w/e, idk what part empathy might play in recognizing that you have similarities with something)

like i dont want to spill the beans on a lot of linebeck and bellum backstory stuff bc id rather do that through fic stuff, but they have a general understanding of each other through like. vague. situation comparison (with linebeck its like. minor dot connecting and some stretches of imagination but that doesnt do it all for him while for bellum its a kinda oh shit moment), and bellum just finds linebeck interesting in the unconventional (and frustrating) way he had to deal with him and how and why he failed to 1) fully control and convince him of certain things and 2) linebecks survival is something he did not anticipate at all so for bellum theres this fascination in linebeck as hes a guy who broke every rule bellum thought was in place with this thing he’d done before and is just like. hey man what the fuck. in that curiosity. in a strange sense linebeck is untouchable to bellum bc of this (not literally but. yknow)

like i dont think id want to write this as some kind of explicit or conventional romance, just some weird relationship thing that slips into romantic, into sexual, into intimate, and then back out into that weird nebulous area

damien is there. this is in post ph context. damien is very much there and interested in bellum as well but its very different i just wanted to bring it up bc it does slip into polycule territory in post ph

theres probably walls and walls of text i could write abt this while untangling what i might want to do with bellum x linebeck but uuuuugh im tired

like on the physical side of things tho its. really weird like linebeck has strict boundaries and in a sense bellum has broken them before and so they have a bit of a tricky physical relationship bc linebeck has a hard time sorting his feelings towards bellum out and bellum can be kinda touchy feely with him at times, and the strangeness that comes with sorting things out with his lil demon form and with his humanoid form

also the tentacle stuff

im very much thinking abt the tentacle stuff

i dont. im not familiar with that kind of stuff

its been the biggest barrier for me in thinking abt this ship and generally its just bellum using em as arms and to grab and hold stuff and different ways they can apply when he interacts with linebeck like hes got a bunch of different clingy stuff idk. he can do weird hugs. while experimenting with damien linebeck figures out he kinda has a thing for being tied up and then (both he and bellum) have to face the fact that they likely know either when that might have started or that it complicates things a little further

[tiny-little-bird]

You and Jonsa shippers are disgusting 🤢 The forehead kiss between Jon & Sansa is platonic. It's a sweet moment between two siblings and you are trying to turn it into something sexual. Get over urselves & ur deluded dreams of Jonsa ever happening, their forehead kiss was an innocent and pure platonic kiss. We've had 4 Stark forehead kisses in the show, are you going to tell me Robb and Cat, Ned and Arya, Bran and Jon were in love too? There was nothing romantic abt their kiss so stop it

“There was nothing romantic about their kiss.” The way their forehead kiss was filmed says otherwise.


People keep using this BS of an argument, “But Cat and Robb, Ned and Arya and Jon and Bran shared a forehead kiss too!” my answer to this “argument” is, that you’re comparing apples with oranges lol Jon and Sansa’s forehead kiss was shot VERY differently from all the other 3 Stark forehead kisses, the directors made SURE to make the differences STRIKING and OBVIOUS. 

I’m going to literally show you the differences by doing a comparison.

(I usually slow down my gifs a little, but for the sake of this, I won’t do it this time, just so you get every gif and scene at full speed, and I don’t get accused of slowing the GIFs down to make Jon and Sansa’s forehead kiss appear more romantic or something, All the gifs below are mine, except for the one with Jon and Ygritte.)

Ned/Arya

1st shot: Quick peck on the forehead from papa Ned, he keeps his eyes open, he smiles at Arya, Arya smiles back at him.

We don’t get additional, separate shots showing Arya reacting to Ned kissing her, no showing Ned reacting to kissing her, nor him reacting to Arya reacting to his kiss. Because why would they do that? It’s a familial kiss, there are no reactions lol Their reactions and behavior are natural and in place, whilst Jon and Sansa’s reactions are completely out of place for a familial kiss.

This is a familial, platonic kiss between a father and his beloved daughter.

Robb/Cat

1st shot: Shows Robb kissing Cat on the forehead, both of them are in the same frame, their forehead kiss was shot in a similar way to Arya and Ned’s.

The angle doesn’t change, we don’t get to see different angles, for example from behind Robb or behind Cat, like they did with Jon and Sansa, again it was shot like the forehead kiss between Arya and Ned.

2nd shot: Cat tells Robb Ned, his father, would be proud of him, then she smiles at him.

You might say their forehead kiss is similar to Jon and Sansa’s, but it isn’t. There is no snow falling around them, there is no intense staring showdown between Cat and Robb, Cat smiles at Robb, there is dialogue between them right after the kiss ends, whilst Jon and Sansa just proceed to look at each other in silence.

Robb and Cat’s was a sweet platonic kiss from a loving child to his mother, in a time of war, where one daughter is in the hands of their enemies, the other is missing, her 2 younger sons are all alone without their mother in Winterfell and her husband was murdered.

Jon/Bran

1st shot: Ned and Cat are in frame. Jon leans in to give Bran a kiss on the forehead. 

2nd shot: It’s pretty much the same shot, but zoomed in. Bran’s face is never shown whilst Jon is kissing his forehead, nor after he’s given him the kiss.

3rd shot: He looks at Bran one more time. Ned and Cat are in frame again. And then he leaves.

This is a sweet platonic forehead kiss of a brother saying goodbye to his little brother, whom is in a comatose.

Jon/Sansa

1st shot: First of all, snowflakes drifting gently around them, automatically gives the scene a very romantic feel. So, prior to the kiss we are shown Sansa giving Jon these looks, and we can see that they are standing really close to each other, like really close.

2nd shot: Shows Jon’s lips parting and looking at Sansa in very “platonic” way, prior to kissing her. (Ah, if only he had given Dandelion such looks, I might’ve actually bought that he was in love with her lol)

3rd shot: Shows Sansa’s reaction/face while he’s gently grabbing her head/cheeck to kiss her forehead, this is the FIRST shot in which we are shown Jon kissing her forehead.

4th shot: This is the SECOND shot which shows Jon’s face while he’s kissing her forehead, from a SECOND angle, his eyes are closed, his eyebrows arched, and he’s visibly pulling her, and thus her forehead, closer to his lips with his hand.

Lemme Just add a GIF of Jon and Ygritte kissing below so you can compare lol (this gif is not mine, I took it from google, if you know who made it, pls let me know so I can credit). Same expression on his face, eyes closed and arched eyebrows, only difference is he’s kissing Sansa on the forehead and not on her lips. I’m telling ya, repressed feelings are repressed.

Still 4th shot (had to split this shot into 2 GIFs due to the size): Shows Jon looking at Sansa, his reaction/expression after he ends the forehead kiss. He parts his lips, he leans in, and he caresses her head/hair. A smile from the both of them, would’ve given this forehead kiss a familial vibe, but no smile from him.

5th shot: Shows another shot of Jon still holding her cheeck/head. Sansa is visibly taken aback and a bit overwhelmed and needs to take a moment to recollect herself, then she looks at Jon. No smile from her either. She remains silent. And in this shot, we can also see Jon sighing deeply, he moves his head too while he does it.

6th shot: Shows Jon still with his lips parted, and then he shuts them closed. Jon looks Sansa in the eyes, then at her lips, then back up. He also remains silent. Again, no smile while he’s looking at her here either, and no talking from either of them.

7th shot: Shows Sansa looking after Jon as he turns away, she’s thinking about what just happened, and then she calls him, and stops him from leaving, and he turns back to look at her. The romatic tropes are strong with these two. #ROMANTICTROPESFORDAYS

This is in no way, shape or form a familial or platonic forehead kiss. This is how two people who have (repressed) feelings for each other would behave. This is the type of tension that exists between two people who have feelings for each other. This is an “I LOVE YOU (non platonically)” type of forehead kiss, which left them both rather shook.

So, lets recap all this:

The directors decided to add 5 different shots for their forehead kiss (3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th shot). Going back and forth between showing Jon’s reaction/facial expressions and Sansa’s reaction/facial expressions. FIVE DIFFERENT SHOTS for what SO MANY call, a “platonic” forehead kiss. FIVE.

Snow is gently falling around them.

The Stark theme is playing sweetly. 

The scenery is beautiful.

They are alone on the battlements, which makes the scene and their interaction very intimate.

They do not smile at each other after the forehead kiss, nor do they talk immediately after the forehead kiss (like Cat and Robb did), instead they both just look at each other with intensity, and love. And Jon, he literally looks in awe of her (see 4th shot, 2nd GIF, tbh he looks in awe of her pretty much all the time).

Jon looks at Sansa’s lips, TWICE, and Sansa also looks at his lips TWICE.

Sansa calls for him and stops him from leaving, just yet.

Jon’s lips are parted before and after the forehead kiss.

Sansa is confused to say the least by the kiss, she is surprised and overwhelmed, in a good way though, because even after all she’s been through, she didn’t push him away, she didn’t back away, she welcomed and accepted his kiss, she allowed him to touch her. (for a rape victim, for someone who was abused, beaten and tortured, this is a really big deal.)

So yeah, if you compare all the kisses above with Jon and Sansa’s they are, as I’ve said already, VERY different. If after I broke them down, you still still think they’re the same, don’t know what to tell ya. 

Robb and Cat’s forehead kiss was filmed from the same, single/one angle as Ned and Arya’s, with both actors in the same frame while the kiss happened. And with Jon and Bran, Bran was still in a coma so, he was in bed and couldn’t react to the forehead kiss at all.

Now with Sansa and Jon it’s a complete different story, Jon and Sansa are shot from the other character’s perspective, they were filmed in such a way that us as an audience, get the feeling we’re seeing Sansa through Jon’s eyes, and Jon through Sansa’s eyes, 

The shots, or the concept behind them, was the sane as in the mead and soup scene. We are seeing Sansa through Jon’s eyes and Jon through Sansa’s eyes, there too.

By the way, I can’t take credit for this little detail (that the way they shot their scenes literally looks like we are seeing Sansa through Jon’s eyes and viceversa), @occupyvenus was the one to point this out, so definitely check out the POST.

So yeah, you gotta ask yourself this, why in the world would they film them like that? And why would they show SO MANY different shots of them looking at each other and reacting they way they were reacting, if the kiss was meant to be a “platonic” one? Simple, the kiss wasn’t platonic/familial.

The directors wanted us to know that both Sansa and Jon felt something here, that their forehead kiss was IMPORTANT. 

There is no other reason why they would bother to film that scene from so many different angles, with so many shots, why they would go back and forth between Sansa and Jon’s reactions, if we weren't MEANT TO SEE SOMETHING.

There is a REASON why after their kiss they both remain dead silent, and just look at each other back and forth, SOMETHING is happening in both their heads here, something is happening with THEM, no words needed, it’s all in their EXPRESSIONS and BODY LANGUAGE. That’s what the lavk of dialogue tells us, that’s what the director is trying to tell us, “FOCUS ON THEIR FACES, FOCUS ON THEM”

There is TENSION between them. I can see it, you can see it (if you don’t see it, you’re lying to yourself), and to release all that tension they then proceeded to give them that adorable kind of goofy scene where Sansa manages to get one of the purest and dorkiest smiles out of Jon. Just look at him and tell me he doesn’t look like a FOOL IN LOVE in the 2nd GIF:

So nonny, I know that you’re a Jondelion shipper (even if you didn’t mention it), because you speak their “language”. Honestly, get more creative guys, these “arguments” are getting boring AF, like, they’re always the same ones: 

“They’re the song of ice and fire! Even Melisandre said she’s brought Ice and Fire together. They are meant to be together.” Not sure if you’ve noticed, you guys seem to have missed the memo, but Melisandre is wrong ALL THE F*ING TIME. Jon is the Song of Ice and Fire all on his own, Dandelion and the Night King are the Song of Ice and Fire, Wight Viserion and Rhaegal and Drogon are the Song of Ice and Fire. Dandelion and Jon are NOT the Song of Ice and fire, just like Sansa and Jon aren’t the Song of Ice and Fire either. 

“Jon and Sansa were raised as siblings.” // “Jon and Sansa were never close as children.” 

“Jon is a Targaryen he won’t care that he banged his own aunt, he won’t care that Dandelion is his aunt/relative because he loves her.” // “Jon is a Stark, he’s honorable, he would never fall in love with/bang his own sister turned cousin/relative. He just wouldn’t there’s no way!” The self contradiction is STRONG with y'all. Make up your minds lol

“Jon and Sansa have no foreshadowing in the books!” Big ol’ fat lie right here, THEY DO have foreshadowing, and plenty of it.

“Sansa is not Jon’s type.” Sansa is EXACTLY Jon’s type lol She’s Kind, honorable, gentle, not power hungry, loving, fierce, honest, not entitled, caring, strong, she doesn’t burn people alive, beautiful, a fighter, capable and intelligent, and a survivor etc. all qualities Jon admires in a woman/person).”

“The foread kiss is the same as all the other Stark forehead kisses. You’re deluded.” lol ok…

Same old same old…

In conclusion, get more creative with your arguments. 

You should really stop saying that Jon and Sansa’s forehead kiss is the same as the other three Stark forehead kisses, because IT IS 100% NOT. 

Apples and Oranges nonny, apples and oranges.

#JonsaIsComing 💙

[fenharelxenansal]

ooc;;

so i went back into my discord history to dig up some meta i wrote a while back about briala. alice, nixe, mo, merc, and cay have all already read this, but i feel like a lot of it is really important to my characterization and i want it on my blog. maybe someday i’ll format it to read in a less disjointed, chat-style way, but for now -- have 1600+ words about briala’s backstory, i guess?

cw: lots of emotional abuse and gaslighting, lots of character death

im having a mood abt the tactics celene might have used to keep briala on her side when they were fighting and aaugh

bc i think a lot about the scene at the beginning of TME where bria is getting sexually harassed by a palace guard and the fact that nobody in that scene, briala included, acts like its anything particularly abnormal. that worries me

i mean. celene killed her damn parents. i dont think encouraging a guard to harass briala from time to time to make herself look like a saint in comparison is beyond her

and i have this mental image of briala being hurt in some way, nothing serious, a bruise here or there from someone other than celene, deliberately caused to send her running back to the empress who will make it all better

to give briala someone to hate instead of celene

to give celene the opportunity to 'make it up' to her

because i dont believe for a second that celene, grand player of the Game that she is, wouldn't stoop that low

she would do anything in her power to keep briala

because she is too dangerous, she knows too much

my headcanon is that when celene tried to send her away to live with the Dalish, it wasn't for her own protection

it was to keep her from ever realizing the truth of what happened the night her parents died, because it could destabilize celene's grip on power

and when Briala came back, well, she had to come up with another plan. and she cared for Briala enough that she didn't want to just kill her. so she made her into an intensely loyal asset

so i think any time Briala started to turn on her, started to want to leave her service even a little, she would do something to make herself look like the good guy again

the thing i always think about

Briala was supposed to be killed that night along with her parents

it wasn't 'all the servants except briala' it was 'all the servants'. the fact that she survived was pure luck, and the fact that celene didn't just have her killed after that point was because. well. Celene was a 16 year old lesbian about to ascend the throne of one of the most powerful countries in Thedas. One might imagine her a bit lonely.

im pretty sure she knew sending briala away was sending her to likely bandits or death by starvation

but she didn't have to feel so personally responsible for that

its easy to kill a palace full of servants whose names you dont know

theyre just numbers on a piece of parchment saying how many bodies you have to clean up

briala made herself real to celene and that makes her harder to kill

because she could have just killed her right then herself

but celene never had the stomach for killing people herself. she just gives the orders.

and so when faced with that situation, with her personal handmaiden traumatized, crying, covered in her parents' blood saying 'they're all dead', the smart thing to do would have been to kill her. but celene didn't do that. she just sent her away to near-certain death instead.

Briala is incredibly dangerous to Celene

especially post-TME, post realization of exactly how Celene orchestrated her rise to power

she is the only one who knows that Celene's claim on the throne is truly illegitimate, no matter how much Gaspard tries to argue it

not only did she have her own palace servants murdered

she had the emperor assassinated

which i think everyone misses?

she had him assassinated and then staged the murder of her palace servants to paint herself as an innocent victim who just happened to not be there that night

thats why all the palace servants were killed

so that suspicion would not fall on her for Florian's murder

the point was to make it look like the same assassins who went after her uncle were also going after her

when in reality she was the one calling the shots all along

i did briefly toy with writing a verse where Briala never met Felassan, where she made it to the Dalish safe at 14 years old and tried to become one of them

but the fact is that the moment he sent her back to Celene was a defining moment for her, something that fundamentally changed her, and she wouldn't have been anywhere near the same person without that

it told her, right there and right then, subtextually and insidiously, that the cause was the most important thing, more than her safety - because she knew it was dangerous being anywhere near the Empress-to-be, she wasn't stupid. she didn't even really know what the cause was at that point; he never told her what he got out of their meetings. so the cause to her became helping elves. and then that really quickly became warped to helping celene because she convinced her that it was the best way to serve the cause.

"what would have been different if she'd decided what she wanted to fight for on her own?"

she would have been a lot less.....not less dedicated, but less 'dedicated to the detriment of her own wellbeing'

if she had decided herself not to go to the Dalish, to stay by Celene's side to enact change, rather than just following the orders of other people, her story would be very different

concept: briala actually processing her trauma??? what???

bc you know the moment she got back to the palace with Celene after meeting Fel for the first time she threw herself headfirst into the Game

she focused all of her energy on intelligence-gathering and supporting Celene in her bid to become Empress

She never gave herself a single moment to grieve

and it isn't an uncommon story in Thedas, an elf watching someone or multiple someones they love cut down by humans

imagine if u will: briala, trying to have a funeral, not just for her parents, but for all of them

thats the thing i really feel the need to

idk

it wasn't just her parents

briala grew up in the palace. her parents were both palace servants.

she knew every single one of those servants. they were her friends and her family. and at the end of it she was left standing covered in blood in front of celene. celene was all she had left.

she didn't have any friends at the beginning of TME. she was friendly with the cook, but that was it.

celene took a generally happy, driven, and incredibly smart 14-year old elven girl and took away everyone she had ever known except herself. she made herself briala's world.

that's the real reason i hate that you can reunite them. its not that i don't believe they could be reunited - its that they can. because briala doesn't have anyone else. she has celene and felassan. that's it.

when you only have one person, its easy to make excuses for them and justify the things theyve done. its easy to believe them when they apologize and promise to do better.

thats why i want briala to have friends and lovers and people

i want to have a verse where she has grown so far beyond that point that she would laugh if Celene asked her to return to the palace

i want her to stop loving Celene but she isn't there yet

in my current writing, at least

she is still vulnerable to her in every verse where Celene is still alive

i just imagine her like

talking quietly about her childhood best friend among the servants

we don't get to see much of Briala's childhood

we get the moment of her mother telling her she mustn't try to hide her ears and that she must be proud of being an elf. that's really it.

but we do know that there were other children of servants who were considered for Celene's handmaiden aside Briala

i like to think she was friends with these other children. that she wasn't always lonely from the start

but of course that leads down the road of those friends being slaughtered as well so its a tradeoff

and then there's the question of whether when Celene kissed her when she was sending her away, if that was her first kiss, if she ever even had the chance to love someone else

i think a lot about how Briala spent 20 years learning how to love exactly 1 person the way she wanted to be loved

just imagining her trying to have a romantic relationship with someone else with that framework still in place is painful. it wouldn't work no matter how much she wanted it to because she'd be treating them like celene. she has no other model for how a relationship can work

she bypasses that somewhat with Lana, but its still there, thinking that the best thing to do is the thing that Keeps Lana Safe

she wouldn't recognize abuse if she got into another bad relationship

and she doesn't know how a relationship works where she isn't centering the other person's needs over her own

she gave up everything she ever wanted or aspired to for Celene

one time i got a prompt from a lyric starter list i made

'you can still be what you want to'

and briala just. broke for a moment.

'no. i can't. i never could - none of us ever could. thats why we fight.'

she doesn't have interests or hobbies or friends or a life

celene was her life and now she's filled that void with her cause