#there's definitely going to be some errors in this bc i wrote the majority of this between classes yesterday

[tylidae]

What's the lore with your fallout oc, Angel?

omg hi!! :-D

his infos a little all over the place because i've never 100% written it down, but i can try summing up the major stuff best i can for u.. lots of text under the cut-

ángel's from somewhere along the westish... i've not really figured out where. i'd like to imagine that for the most part he was just getting by. getting what he needed, doing what he needed, helping whoever needed help (when passing by) etc. dude was never a vault dweller or anything like that and pretty much grew up with his family in the wasteland. they maaaybe had a small farm/ranch. not to sell produce just like... live off of it ig. in some ways he was like a post-apocalyptic cowboy. and that’s how his life went for a while until.. i dunno. right before his 20s? maybe late teen years? i’ve not decided what happened with his family but i’d say they got separated and he found out bad stuff happened to them. it’s a little cliche ik. but he’s moved on from that at this point. sorta. maybe there’s a living lost relative out there that he don’t know about. I DON’T KNOW!!!!!!!!!! still have lots to think about with that. but anyways!!!!!!!!!!

at some point during his usual routine of hiking out towards... where ever he was going to get whatever he was going to get (have not put much thought into what he would've been grabbing u_u) things didn't go as smooth as they usually would. the difference being a big, green, nasty, incredibly irradiated deathclaw. it was probs a case of him noticing it way too late and not being able to get to somewhere it can't in time. bro prob saw his rifle too and was like "this is definitely not going to do shit" and tried booking it.

it's hard putting to words what i picture in my head like... the sequence of what happened-- but i imagine ángel running, cliche trip along a road (or maybe rock? whatever it would be it'd end up scraping one side of his jaw pretty bad.... or maybe instead tripping he got pushed by the thing... idk), and then being grabbed and sliced through his shoulder (and maybe somewhere else... i unno) by the dc.

pretty sure he gets knocked out, but it's a gray area with the dc leaving. i can't decide if it loses interest, is attacked by something else, or keels over and dies itself or sumn (ik they're not werewolves but i sure do love werewolf parallels! so it'd be like... passing on its yucky to him... although not reeeally.) and if todd's allowed to mess around with how things work then i can too! the wound it leaves ángel with heals... sort of... the caveat is that over some tiiiime (not short or too too long of a time span) it mutates his hand into a dc hand!

ángel picks up a new perspective on life (as you could imagine with a really fucked near death experience), like what he's doing, and if this thing going on with his arm is going to progress or 'stabilize.' maybe he tried going back to being his usual friendly "hey fellow traveller!" kind of self?? but after bad interactions (considering he has this crazy weird arm that he likely didn't cover up at first because it wasn't too serious) he starts keeping his arm in wraps and becomes a lot more withdrawn as a whole.

soon enough, probably after a breakdown of sorts, he figures fuck it! time to travel a whooooole lot. maybe to disconnect himself with what happened, or maybe find some sort of consolation (i guess in addition to further in his past. like him getting separated from family and them ending up passing?... i have no clue. regardless he got dealt the wrong hand at least twice. no pun intended.) perhaps he wants to find if there’s a way to reverse the whole hand situation. who knows! regardless-- he makes the trek eastward. just to go where ever and see whatever. do whatever as long as it’s fulfilling.

and ! well! he ends up in west virginia because.... fo76... and that’s where he’s at now! in summary he just likes to travel around and do stuff here and there without attracting too much attention to himself. ig in a way where its like... help out a few people if he wants to/has to and then move on. he’ll travel back west eventually. maybe. 

---

i will say that i do like slap him in alternate timelines/instances bc he’s a big fallout oc all around that i LOVE REUSING!!!!!!!!! but this is his most major info. my apologies if it’s kind of rough!!! like i said i’ve never really written it out before ; _ ; !!!

i think i’ll come up with a google doc or sumn that has his info laid out and neat on it. or toyhouse... i’ve not used that in forever. i’ll make something for him eventually. thanks for asking by the way!! :-D he’s one of my favorite ocs.

i’ve got lots of wips of him that i plan on finishing and posting soon LMAO i’ve just not. gotten around to that because of college <//3 

[tiredmamaissy]

hey, i want to get into writing but like idk how 😭 like how would i even start it off, how to finish, how to write smut? yk but i wanted to ask u bcs ur so good at it, so maybe u could help😋😋, perfectly okay if u don’t 😭

Hey! Thank you so much :').

I'm flattered that you're even asking me this question.

I honestly have no specific way of writing! (not that I'm aware of at least). I kind of feel like my writing is forever changing. When I wrote 'neteyam's first rut' (first post) I had the idea in my head for like days. One night I was like 'I literally can't keep this in my head any longer'. So I wrote it out, in no specific way/style of writing and did a quick proofread and decided:

"hey, why not post this shit? lol people probably won't even see it. and then i won't have this filthy smut in my hard drive for people to find when i'm dead (not even joking, this was literally what was going through my head.)"

But since I feel like my writing has changed a bit, hopefully not too drastically or out of character. Of course I've also gotten a little more comfortable on this site, too. :)

My experience with writing goes back to high school and university. I majored in a 'soft science', as they like to call it. Did tons and tons of research papers (way too fucking many to give it a number). So all I can really say about that is the more you write the easier it becomes - kind of like a muscle memory? Eventually it just flows out of you. Also reading. Reading helps ya know, the more you read the more you're exposed to other styles of writing, vocabulary, the whole shabang. Like @lovemyavatar, I love her style of writing, literally obsessed (and she knows it, hehe.)

I'd say write when you're motivated, inspired - driven. Or else it'll kind of dull the sparkle and take the fun out of it (wasn't fun writing any of those papers). So when an idea pops up, just go for it. Don't even think about grammar, vocabulary, etc. Just get that shit out of your system. You can always go back, fix any errors, and change things up - switch out a word with another, rephrase a sentence (or a paragraph or two), change up the plot - whatever you see fit. If I'm mid-washing the dishes and I get an idea I'll stop and make a quick voice note or a note in my phone.

As for starting and finishing, hmm. These are good questions, because I kind of feel like there's no standard or set way to start or finish literature. It all depends on what you're writing about and what your intentions are with it. What are you trying to portray? How do you want the reader to feel? What tense do you want to write in/most appropriate? What's your plot, if any? Where does it take place? What tone of voice do you want to use? How do you plan to differentiate the characters? I like to imagine the character's voice in my head actually saying the phase, or ask myself if Neteyam/Lo'ak would really say this.

For example I did a double POV for the first time, and when researching about it the article said "...you should be able to flip to a random page, read a couple sentences, and know which character is speaking." Which is so true. So I tried to keep that in mind, and focus on the characters development and make their voices more distinct.

I read a Lo'ak one-shot on here and a lot of people (including me) wanted a part two - I'm assuming so we could get some sort of closure/feel better/happy ending. But, the authors intention was to portray him in a dark light - to hurt the reader so to speak. So well-written and I really love their other work, too.

As for smut 👀. I'm honestly still new to this so I'm learning as I go. I love to consume smut so that has definitely helped - seeing other people and what terms and vocabulary they use. Overall, I just try to be very descriptive, so that the reader can really immerse themselves into the scene and feel what their character is supposed to be feeling. I try not to go overboard with the words though, because that can take away from it at times. For example, I wrote about a fight scene with Neteyam and Auzo (in 'with my life') and I kept it short and simple - "He throws a punch to his jaw, knocking him off his feet." type of shit.

I also do some research (lool thought I was done with the research life). My google searches are riddled with "synonym for..." "how to describe [this action] in writing". No shame in doing your research. There are a few blogs on this site that actually help out in regards to basic knowledge of coitus, cunnilingus, fellatio etc. as well as other sites, too! They list descriptive words, alternatives to 'she said' (lool i eat those up), other do's and don'ts.

And of course, I do some research about the na'vi. I try to make it somewhat realistic, especially with the fic I posted 'with my life' (longest one to date). I did some deep digging on their website about the 'first blood' ritual, and just other simple information about the flora and fauna of the planet.

This is my favourite source of information for smut.

Out of all the sources I've read, this is the best one so far. If I'm ever in a stump, or I feel like I need a better fitting word - I'll refer to this. This author also includes some really good points about sex, down to first times, anal - the whole works.

This is my favourite source of information for avatar.

I hope this helped somewhat and that I was able to answer your question! If you do get into writing, and you do decide to post it, I'd love to read it.

Sorry this is kind of lengthy, I have an issue with overwriting, and overall just talking too much. lmao

~ issy 💜

[gardenerian]

Back again with an ask about bipolar disorder so please take as much time as you want *if* you want to answer 💜

I think this will definitely be subjective again, so I’m really looking for an opinion. I’ve been wondering lately just how much of Ian’s extreme mania (before the diagnosis) or intense depressive episodes he actually remembers. I know the self-medication probably didn’t help matters, but sometimes I feel like between Ian’s tendency to compartmentalize and possible memory problems, maybe he doesn’t have a good recollection of that period of time early s4. And I feel like maybe that’s not necessarily a bad thing? (Unsettling, I’m sure, and potentially dangerous but kinda perfect as far as coping mechanisms go for Ian.) I don’t really see memory problems as a symptom talked about much (in fandom discourse or fics) so I’m wondering how common it actually is and how much that could actually impact someone with the disorder. (Beyond the bit of research I’ve done on my own which is kinda vague lol.)

Hopefully this goes without saying but I’m not trying to really do anything with this information or explain away certain things, it just gets me thinking about the possible implications or meanings behind things. Like I’ve always felt he carried around/wrote things in that little notebook because of his racing thoughts and ideas but maybe he was having problems remembering and needed to write them down? Is that how it even works? If he doesn’t remember what happened while he was working in Boystown, are there things that could jog his memory? I think it opens up a lot of discussion possibilities so wanted your thoughts!

this did take a moment, so thank you for your patience ❤️ i love giving ian and his journey this kind of thought so i never mind questions like this, but it takes a minute to comfortably wade in. i’ll start with my usual preface that i can only speak from my own experience, my own understanding, and what i’ve learned from my own care team. i’m also... not a doctor so grain of salt, etc. others may have different ideas - i am certainly not the end all be all about bipolar. chime in if you want to share. that said, here we go:

i decided to tackle this somewhat chronologically (rereading before posting.. no i didn’t) - i had to organize my thoughts in some capacity otherwise my brain just short circuited every time i thought about ian in the white swallow talking about that helicopter. what the fuck that’s so sad. i don’t think we talk about that enough. 

i think there are a lot of levels to this bc the human mind is baffling and also a raging bitch. 

my first thought, as i mentioned before, is of ian talking to lip about stealing the helicopter before leaving basic. he’s recalling details (i’m not rewatching for this bc i’d probably head straight into a tailspin, so please forgive any errors and let me know if i miss anything major) as he knows them - didn’t steal anything, started the rotors. later he says he did try to steal it, tipped it, blade caught fire. 

there are things he remembers about that - but i think they’re probably like images. flashes of memories. the fire, the groan of the helicopter as it tips, maybe running to avoid getting caught. does he remember his heart racing or his hands shaking or the cacophony of thoughts ricocheting around his skull? probably not. when your mind is growing more chaotic every day, there’s probably not a lot of room to store many solid memories. 

plus, i think the mania greatly impacts his perception of his own memories. and is there anything more terrifying than that? i didn’t steal anything he says, when, if the MPs are anything to go by, he definitely did. i didn’t hurt the baby, he says in s5, when we know that was absolutely a possibility. his judgment grows more and more warped as these seasons progress. 

ALL THAT SAID 

mania and depression are impairments. they are literally altering your brain function and cognitive abilities, and this will be especially true when they get more extreme. changes in sleep patterns and mood are going to impact the way your brain operates. like. blood flow to different parts of your brain changes. memory loss is a common occurrence - not a given by any means, but i think it’s likely that ian does suffer from this to at least some extent.   

there is literally a correlation between mood disorders and cognitive decline (here’s a very depressing study about possible longterm impacts - the part about alzheimer’s ruined my day!). episodes particularly damage your “update and recall” functions of working memory. so it’s difficult for the brain to encode new information and access older memories. working memory is kind of like short term memory - but with the added bonus that not only can you not remember something, the information stored in your brain can also be manipulated. 

with the addition of everything else that mania and depression bring, it’s no wonder ian’s perception of what happens is wonky, to say the least. and because bipolar is the gift that keeps on giving, it’s not uncommon to have memory impairment while IN BETWEEN episodes, too. your brain is just. physically changed. 

like i said before, there are levels to this. you also pointed out that ian is self-medicating a lot AND he’s naturally someone who compartmentalizes. i think it all melds together to make a very painful haze. i cannot fathom the trauma that we don’t see. i cannot even make my brain go there. there are undoubtedly terrors we’ll never know about - and there really is no telling if ian knows or will know everything. if i had to guess, there are likely some ghosts of memories lingering. he mentions in s6 that he doesn’t have a full idea of the number of men he’s been with - between the drugs and mania, this is a very sobering thing to consider.

i think the notebooks are primarily because he is bursting with thoughts and ideas, but i wouldn’t be surprised if his memory also played a role. especially with mania, maybe he’s living so vividly that he’s desperate to record it all for a later time. i am suddenly, breathtakingly sad about that idea. 

with the s5 manic episode, i would wager that all the above factors + the trauma of his hospitalization and diagnosis + adjusting to drugs might make for pretty fuzzy memory. but at the same time…. there are certain colors and smells and sounds that are burned into my memory so? it goes both ways, the brain is a fickle lover. 

have you ever seen eternal sunshine of the spotless mind? there’s that part near the end where joel’s last memory of clem is being erased and he’s seeing these vivid little flashes of moments in the car. quick but stark. that’s what my memory of my most manic days are like and i wonder if it’s also like that for ian. maybe. 

it was actually suggested to me after i was diagnosed to keep a running record of my thoughts so i don’t forget things. my notes app is just littered with bullet points from my day to day, some are mundane and some are unhinged. before i started treatment i once decided that we needed like. a lot of groceries. i spent $200+ ordering more food than we had room for to be delivered to my apartment after work that day. i promptly forgot that i did that, went about my day, then left work and went right to the grocery store to buy all the same groceries. i was fucking gobsmacked when the delivery guy came an hour after i got home. so yeah… even basic things can go right out the window. 

for the depression…. i would think that he remembers very little about that particular episode. my mans is catatonic. not much information is getting encoded at that time. being able to remember that and also not being able to remember that are two distinct kinds of pain and i’m sad that ian would experience either.

tldr: there’s no solid answer and that’s goddamn devastating. ian will never know what he doesn’t remember. and you’re right, given the circumstances, maybe that’s a really weird convoluted blessing. i don’t know enough about brains/memory/science/anything to know if those memories could be triggered, but maybe? probably to some capacity? maybe he’d remember bits of something but not know why….. i don’t know at all. this is the worst tldr ever. 

[erikahenningsen]

I watched Just Mercy with my family tonight and I thought it was a great movie I cried but I think I made one of my friends uncomfortable bc I texted her that I think the death penalty is horrifying and I can’t comprehend how people believe in it after watching the electric chair scene in the movie and sobbing and based on her awkward response I think she believes in the death penalty so that’s a bit awkward. Anyways how have things been going at your job recently?

I didn’t mean for this answer to be so long but here we are.

I’ve been working in criminal justice reform spaces for some time now and something that’s really, really challenging is figuring out how to meet people where they are. Knowing that the government should not be in the business (and it is a business) of executing people based on evolving moral standards and empathy because killing people is wrong no matter who is doing it makes sense to you and me, but many people do not feel the same way (although a lot of people support capital punishment because killing people is wrong, which is wild to me). To people who support retributive justice, restorative justice principles are radical and even dangerous. It’s very easy for people to dismiss exonerations as evidence of the system “working,” even though if you asked them to spend 14 years behind bars (the average amount of time the 367 people who have been exonerated by DNA testing in this country so far spent in prison) they would probably not be too happy about it. It’s also easy for people to agree that the death penalty is wrong for people who are innocent, but most of the people sentenced to death are not. (It should be noted that the Supreme Court ruled in Herrera v. Collins that, unless there was a technical error during a person’s trial, evidence of innocence alone is not enough to overturn a conviction or death sentence because, if it were, the court would be overwhelmed by innocence claims, which is absolutely fucking NUTS—Scalia literally wrote that there’s no constitutional basis for consideration of evidence of innocence. So even if you are innocent, good luck getting off death row, especially because people sentenced to death do not have a right to a lawyer for the appeals process and most appeals have to be filed within a certain amount of time and can only be filed once.)

Many people do not know someone impacted, wrongfully or otherwise, by the criminal legal system and do not live in overpoliced communities, and by virtue of being white do not believe racial bias exists. So you have to figure out how to make reform personal to them. Frequently, this appeal can be made economically. Really, what has made criminal justice reform more and more a bipartisan issue is that our criminal legal system places an enormous economic burden on taxpayers and state and federal budgets. It costs much more to house someone on death row than in prison, partially because of the litigation costs. That money is coming out of taxpayers’ pockets. I worked on a project for a year that works with corrections agencies to reduce and reform solitary confinement and spent a few days in touring prisons in Louisiana, and the staff there were skeptical as hell of us and what we were asking them to do. But segregation units are expensive, and corrections officers who work in them have higher levels of stress and poor health outcomes, so we were able to appeal to them that way. It’s terrible to reduce human beings to dollar amounts, but for a lot of people it’s the only way to get through to them.

If this is a topic that interests you, I definitely recommend reading Just Mercy if you haven’t read the book, and also checking out Bryan Stevenson’s HBO documentary, True Justice. End of Its Rope: How Killing the Death Penalty Can Revive Criminal Justice by Brandon L. Garrett gets really deep into the data on the death penalty’s disparate impact on low-income communities and communities of color, and shows that the vast majority of death sentences and executions are coming from only a few counties. If you’re interested in the history of the electric chair specifically, Old Sparky: The Electric Chair and the History of the Death Penalty by Anthony Galvin is fascinating (Thomas Edison used to stage press conferences to electrocute animals—wild stuff), and Galvin unfortunately makes the accurate prediction that since it has become more and more difficult for states to obtain lethal injection drugs, we will see a resurgence in the use of the electric chair—which we’ve already seen in Tennessee. (Another not-so-fun fact—the Supreme Court ruled in Bucklew v. Precythe that if you object to your method of execution on an Eighth Amendment claim, you must then propose an alternate way for the state to execute you and you have to prove that it will cause you less pain.)

The job is going okay. Lately it’s been a lot of conference calls, research, and report- and letter-writing. I miss being in our office and seeing my co-workers, because I really like them. We’ve put most of our work on the back burner to focus on COVID-19. It’s really difficult to try and deal with this crisis under our dumb governor and even dumber mayor. New York has more cases than Italy and Cuomo still doesn’t want us to use “scary words” like “lockdown” and has consistently been late in taking precautionary measures. It’s infuriating to have the entire country sucking Cuomo’s dick on social media while he uses his insane popularity rating to cut Medicaid and roll back bail reform so we can crowd even more people into Rikers, where the infection rate is seven times higher than in the general city population. Makes so much sense, Andrew, thanks. (I literally had to go take a walk and cool off when I read the budget lmao.) We also have to face the fact that the NYC government is going to have to make about $2 billion in budget cuts and the mayor has already cut programs like SYEP. On a more positive note, things are very tentatively looking like they could be getting a little better in NY. The death rate is really high but it seems like hospital admissions are starting to plateau a bit. There’s a lot of really good research going on worldwide. If we can get everyone on the same page about what we need to be doing to flatten the curve, I’m hopeful things can keep improving.

[m1nkyun]

‘we must love’ mv theory

hi welcome to my wild theory :^) i never really wrote anything like this down before BUT this storyline was too good to not attempt to figure out and ive been thinking about this since the mv teaser dropped. so here’s what i think what’s going on in the mv. just a lil disclaimer ig,  that all of this is just what im picking up from the music videos, so just take this theory into consideration not as fact lol. plz humor me bc i’ve been writing this for almost 5 hours and im gonna lose it. so plz join me in this wild adventure thru different timelines and universes that also tie into ‘on/off’ and ‘complete’ bc onf’s concept is wild :^)

to connect everything with ‘we must love’ we gotta recap on the first two music videos real quick. so buckle up kids lets GO. im basing this off my vague remembering off of the explanation for the ‘on/off’ mv, i can’t remember where exactly they explained it but if i’m remembering right. they’re all androids and laun is their energy provider. i think the android part may have been apart of my own theory when on/off first came out (reason being is their barcodes) but laun is 100% the one who provides the energy or something like that. lol. something to note here is hyojin, e-tion, and j-us are mostly a trio together and really the only ones you get to see in uniforms together in the mv. (other than the scene where laun passes out and everyone’s like o dam. ) they are the three to look into laun’s room. and there’s the fact that they were just chilling in his room learning about the globe and stuff. notable since they’re the most prominent ones in the great search for laun 2k19. just food for thought 🤔

here’s showing when laun put in too much energy in this machine and ended up passing out.

putting “my name is” and a picture of himself, this may be because he had some sort of memory loss as a result from the pass out. he has this as a reminder for himself.

and this very interesting cinema board may be something to look at here, maybe predicting the future to come in this universe lmao.

(a side note, in the ‘on/off’ mv, laun’s barcode is on the back his neck but in ‘we must love’, its on the side of his neck. whether or not this is important or a continuity error idk lol. in general im just gonna ignore the barcode rule bc i didnt see it on anyone else in we must love so IDK. ive actually only remember seeing it on hyojin and laun i think. the barcodes are so confusing idk what to to with them :^( ) before i continue to the next mv, i just want to point out the MAJOR object that truly connects everything together, this funky lil asteroid:

this bad boi is a lil demon in disguise. Complete: the connections to ‘on/off’ are very minimal to a sense of you can just excuse them as “references” rather than any clues as it to being set in another universe. but that’s honestly exactly what it is. it was more than just cute lil callbacks to their first music video. this is legit just same boys, same timeline, different universe. example one:

the bad boi returns. mk looking up at this asteroid is very important. you’ll see later or you already know why probably lmao. two: the machine laun’s messing with may be the energy source machine that’s used in this universe. it does have a little card slot in it.

and then THIS SCENE:

asteroids literally raining down. very similar to the opening scene in ‘we must love’ this may be the start of what’s happening as a result of the ‘on/off’ / ‘we must love’ universe.

AND NOW THE ‘WE MUST LOVE’ once again, starting off the mv is mk looking at the asteroids raining down like, a doomsday type of feel rather than a cute shooting star kinda feel as the previous ones. it’s not even the same as when j-us in ‘complete’ was surrounded by asteroids because this time there’s literally ember falling around the era. it’s definitely more danger feel than in ‘complete’. i think the reason the world is quickly heading to danger is because of laun leaving the facility. he’s not just the energy to them, but to the whole world? and since he’s gone, everything’s s starting to get out of control.

laun wakes up in a forest, looking completely lost unaware where he is.

and then here, he’s having flashbacks to two scenes that happen later in the music video. where they try to stop him from leaving. and when hyojin confronts him. due to the glitchiness of the memories, i’m believing that the memories are leaving him and he’s going through memory loss again like in ‘on/off’.

j-us over here in laun’s room trying to locate his whereabouts. in the address you can see it says “universe 01” at the bottom. basically confirmed that there is multiple universes and they’re at least 99 of them. wow good luck finding him now.

yuto’s clock being 3:14 is the same length as the music video. at first i thought it might have been a timer for how long everyone had in the universes they were sent to to find laun but then i realized they were most likely there for more than that amount of time so idek lol. BUT i thought’d i’d keep this part in here as just something to think about ig.

this is where it gets…. sad. laun’s looking out of the window which we now know can change screens. assuming that it’s actually a window to the other universes, laun looks out admiring the nature and such.

the way he looks out the window is so longing, like he wants to experience it himself. other than when he needs to be out, he’s always trapped in this room. even in “on/off” all of his solo scenes were him cooped up in his room. the only time he was actually out of his room and not in uniform was him sadly holding a balloon. this kid has discovered the beauty of nature and really wants to venture out to see it himself.

im not sure if it’s suppose to be the same room but there are a lot of similarities to the both of them. im thinking maybe due to being on a different set, they did what they could to resemble laun’s original room? because a big thing here is laun’s window, which is basically his freedom. which from the outside it’s just a window looking in, but what if it’s a two way window? on laun side it has the capability to show different universes, other side looking in his room to check on him.

right after j-us finds laun’s location, seemingly figuring out this whole ordeal, since he was also reading some sort of message. he gets caught. with the sign being said “Danger: Time Travel Operate”, it’s possible that time travel is illegal within the facility, probably specifically to the students, because of how dangerous it is.

my idea as to why this scene is happening is because laun’s presence lead hyojin to here. except laun isn’t here exactly. he was there but in another universe. and the fade outs are showing that. they’re always so close, yet so far.

then there’s this flashback to when everyone frantically trying to stop laun from time traveling, they know how dangerous time traveling is and they’re trying to save him

his arm is out as if he’s trying to tell them to stay back (not in a mean way of course, but in a “plz let me do this” way). but in a later scene he looks even more worried, maybe last second regretting this decision. he’s probably aware the dangers of time traveling, he’s ready to risk it all in the name of nature, but i dont think he’s fully aware how vital it is for he himself to stay in that place.

e-tion finally comes across laun, the real laun. but before he can call out to him, e-tion disappears. i have two theories to this. 1. continuing on from like the laun & hyojin scene from before. they’re in the same place, but different universes. but imo that wouldnt really make sense because e-tion clearly sees laun. in hyojin and laun’s scene, i think it’s clear that neither of them saw each other since hyojin just walked off. 2. e-tion’s time travel watch is on a timer. and right before he can catch laun’s attention, the watch sends him back to his own universe. :( which i think is more accurate. which means that the fade outs have multiple purposes.

there he is

and there he go

and here’s to what i dub is the absolute saddest part of this entire music video (other than laun crying )’: ) yuto stayed behind in the facility in their classroom. its showing everyone having fun, wyatt looking up into the sky :^),  probably the daily antics of their classroom breaks. but then its everyone fading out to an empty room. it’s showing what used to be. when they were all together. yuto is reminiscing on the past. he misses his friends and my heart HURTS.

and with the final scene. hyojin finally catching up to laun. this scene is kinda complicated for many reasons. laun looks right at hyojin but turns around and hyojin disappears. 1. the same theory of different universes. laun may have felt hyojin’s presence and turned around to check to see if anyone was behind him, but left after seeing no one was there. which will be wild bc then laun woulda had a stand off - stare off with the air if that was the case.

2.he clearly saw hyojin, but he just had no idea who he was due to the memory loss. and being the nice boy laun is, he’d just smiled at him and went on his way. making hyojin miss his last chance of catching laun due to the timer that sent him back to his universe. also remember, this scene was involved in laun’s memory wipe in the beginning of the mv. and this is the only scene that’s in black and white. was it a flash back in this scene, or a flash forward from laun when he was in the woods?

some after thought questions i have:

why did hyojin have to use an emergency button to time travel, but e-tion had a watch similar to laun. and how did mk and wyatt get to where they were as well. i would make the suggestion that mk is actually in the ‘complete’ universe due to the asteroid storm, but then there’s this scene. behind him are screens showing the different universes everyone’s in. (including the one he was in).  maybe he went to the ‘complete’ universe after this scene, but how did he get there. 🤔

that being said i have no idea about wyatt’s part. him with the motorcycle, and then running through the city. yeah he’s probably looking for laun too, but im kinda sad that there wasn’t more to it like everyone else :( i just dont know. and to tie it all together, the lyrics of the song are directly about all of this. “losing memories” “past, future, a different world”. it a song about a familiar feeling with someone as if you knew them in the past, future, a whole different universe, like you were bonded by time. this music video doesnt just tie that in on its own, but also with ‘on/off’ and ‘complete’. i just find it completely genius the way they went about it and im really curious if this concept will continue and i really hope it does because there’s so many unanswered questions. is laun gonna be ok, will they bring him back safely, is the world gonna be ok, most importantly, where’s wyatt. the only thing i haven’t brought up is the astronaut lady in ‘on/off’ because i have no idea where’d she fit into the other mvs. but she is so valid. so basically, tl;dr, laun wanted to universe travel to all the beautiful places he’s seen through his alternate universe looking window to temporally escape from the confines of his room where he always has to stay cooped up in, as seen in the ‘on/off’ mv. he ended up losing his memory from doing so since he’s pretty prone to memory lost, causing mostly everyone to go out looking for him and failing at the last moments. and now the world is in peril because laun’s basically the earth’s control center but he’s lost and not in the facility where he can keep things balanced. tl-tl;dr: laun just wanted to see the real world but then it turned into where’s waldo: laun edition, except if we cant find laun fast the whole universe is going to die.

i hope u enjoyed my lil theory, plz dont be afraid to share your theories with me or let me know if i missed anything important, or messed up anything in this theory. im all open to discuss this amazing cinematic masterpiece that our lord and saviors onf is providing us with!!

[gcldenchilds]

narcissa black

i’m trash for picking narcissa up again but i’m more trash for thinking i could leave this bitch. if you wrote with my other narcissa you’ll be in for a nice treat bc this version is completely different!

isn’t that NARCISSA BLACK? yeah that is HER, sitting there at the SLYTHERIN table with those other FIFTH years and i think i heard sybill saying they look like VIRGINIA GARDNER… whoever that is! when she looks into her crystal ball she sees a perfect pink smile and glaces through long lashes, silent coughs into lace handkerchiefs, answering any criticism with a girlish giggle, & a string of pearls sitting heavy around your neck.. anyway i’ve heard they’re pretty SUPERFICIAL, PETTY, and LOYAL. apparently they’re a PUREBLOOD but i’m sure that’s not related. —— [ mhairi : bst : 18 : she/her ]

basics

NAME  Narcissa Carina Hekate Elladora Black

NICKNAME  Cissy, Used to insist on Cissa but has stopped, Called Carina by her father Cygnus

AGE  Fifteen

DOB May 14th 1961

SEXUALITY  Asexual, Biromantic

PARENTS  Cygnus Black & Druella Rosier

SIBLINGS  Bellatrix & Andromeda

HOUSE  Slytherin

RELATIONSHIP STATUS  Single

appearance

HEIGHT  4′11″

WEIGHT  89 lbs

EYES  Blue

HAIR  Blonde

GLASSES/CONTACTS  Neither

extras

PERSONALITY TYPE  ESFJ

ALIGNMENT  Lawful Evil

TEMPERAMENT  Phlegmatic

PATRONUS  Cissy has never attempted to cast a patronus but if she did it would take the form of a wildcat.

If your patronus is the wild cat then you are intelligent and quick thinking.Quick thinking you often outsmart those around you.Often quiet and reserved, those with the wildcat patronus do have a sharp side. If the wildcat is your patronus you have a fiery heart. This feisty streak makes you formidable compared to most opponents.Tough and clever, you are resilient enough to withstand events others could not and intelligent enough to excel in anything you choose to do.

source

BOGGART  While close to her family Narcissa’s biggest point at this point in her life is not them dead but instead them turning their back on her. Casting riddikulus would cause the image of each of her family members to spin around at a rapidly increasing speed.

WAND  Elm, Kelpie Hair, 8“ 1/4′, Wishy. Narcissa’s wand is an heirloom wand, it wasn’t intentional instead Narcissa had been messing around with some of her ancestors wands when one chose her. Coincidentally it was her Great Great Great Aunt Elladora’s wand, who she is named after.

ELM  The unfounded belief that only pure-bloods can produce magic from elm wands was undoubtedly started by some elm wand owner seeking to prove his own blood credentials, for I have known perfect matches of elm wands who are Muggle-borns. The truth is that elm wands prefer owners with presence, magical dexterity and a certain native dignity. Of all wand woods, elm, in my experience, produces the fewest accidents, the least foolish errors, and the most elegant charms and spells; these are sophisticated wands, capable of highly advanced magic in the right hands (which, again, makes it highly desirable to those who espouse the pure-blood philosophy).

KELPIE HAIR  Kelpie hairs are incredibly tempermental cores, explaining their rarity. They were once common in Celtic wandmaking, however, the import of demiguise hairs has resulted in them falling out of favor. They have similar qualities to demiguise hair, and are powerful Transfiguration cores when they don't backfire spectacularly.

ZODIAC Taurus  

taurus is patience, the slow tick of the clock, lazy naps and plants and the smell of the earth after rain. they want to enjoy the pleasures of life, luxury and love and food and beauty. loyal and sensual, stubborn and traditional. stable with roots deep in the earth, they often get called materialistic for their love of beautiful things. but taurus is ruled by venus, and they long for romance before anything else, to care for someone and being loved in return.

source

SORTING  Narcissa’s sorting was a quick affair, soon as the had slipped onto her head she asked a question in a perfectly polite way “If it’s not a terrible issue Mr Sorting hat, sir, could I be in Slytherin please? I’d love to stay with my sisters” this put an end to any consideration between Ravenclaw or Slytherin

report card

Bee’s in her fifth year and will be sitting nine OWLs, getting four Exceeds Expectations, two Acceptable’s and three Outstanding’s in her end of year exams.

Astronomy, E.

Ancient Runes, E.

Charms, A.

Defence against the dark arts, E.

Divination, E.

History of magic, O.

Herbology, A.

Transfiguration, O.

Potions, O.

bio

Born on a new moon in may 1961, Narcissa Black’s name was never meant to be Narcissa. Brought into the world too early at 27 weeks, the name Carina (a constellation part of the larger Argo Navis) long picked out for an unfortunate outcome of a third daughter, did not suite the tiny child.

Oh so pale, delicate, and fragile, the new born babe was not thought long for this world, maybe not even day, definitely not a week, hardly worthy of a name from the stars. No, the girl would never be a star, wouldn’t live long enough, destined to be beautiful but short lived she would be little more than a flower.

And thus she was named Narcissa, just Narcissa not worth the middle names.

But the healers pulled off a miracle, and she survied not only the day but a week, and then two, and then three, and after a lengthy St. Mungo’s stay baby Narcissa was home.

More of a fighter, more of a warrior than her appearance let on suddenly her name seemed an oversight. But Narcissa had stuck and so she got the name she would’ve had as a middle name. Carina Hekate Elladora Black became Narcissa Carina Hekate Elladora Black. Hekate for the Greek goddess of magic and witchcraft, Elladora for her great, great, great, aunt Elladora (the one who started the tradition of beheading house elves)

Finally home from St. Mungo’s she was a baby full of noise and life, always giggling, or cooing, or babbling, you would think that it would be an unwelcome behaviour in the black house hold but at three months old Naricissa already had her parents wrapped around her tiny fingers.

Her unlikely survival had proved her a fighter in the eyes of her father, his fighter, he’d taken to calling her Carina. Always full of praise that his other daughters would rarely receive Narcissa could do no wrong. But to Druella she was always Narcissa, a flower, her flower. Her beautiful child, picture perfect, always so calm, always so pliant, any mothers dream.

But her early entrance into the world had taken a toll on her health and as a child CIssy was often sick, and as a consequence always coddled. 

By the time she was old enough to be aware of her situation Narcissa was already in love with it, she could charm any adult with a sweet smile and perfected pleasantries, she could make friends at the drop of a hat with giggles and a few sweet comments.

Going off to hogwarts was a scary thing for Narcissa she wouldn’t have the constant affection from her mother and father and she would be around more people than she had been in her entire life.

One of those should never have been a concern as the tiny blonde haired girl fit in perfectly into Slytherin house beloved by all. With those in other houses? Well they didn’t really matter.

The other however would prove to be a more major concern with the young girl, frequently finding herself consigned to the hospital wing, even having to be sent away to St. Mungo’s in her third year. Even now she’s frequently poorly.

Her illness was never a hindrance to her studies however as despite weeks at a time away from classes she’s always maintained exceptional grades. Her health does seem to be improving of late and she’s even taking up a spot on the quidditch team; surprisingly as keeper instead of seeker.

hcs

She knows what her parents expect of her, as the daughter of a great pureblood family her role is to marry into another great house but part of her can’t help but want more, want love. Maybe there’s someway she can do both?

Hopeless romantic, reads all sorts of trashy wizard romance novels... maybe she even gets someone to get her muggle ones?

Doesn’t really believe the whole blood purity thing whole heatedly. Of course purebloods are better but why should they kill all the others? Whats the point of being on top if there’s no one to be better than?

Desperately wants to show others she’s not weak because of her poor health and keep her spot on the quidditch team, maybe she’s getting someone to make her health draughts that are above her level under the table?

[furidojasutin]

Title: Traditional Dreyar Stew

Pairing: Fraxus (Freed x Laxus)

Universe: Canon

Rating: K+

a/n: Hey look I wrote a thing?? So you know I’ve watched Shadowhunters and #Malec and this is inspired by one of their scenes. Peeps who know Shadowhunters will recognize it ;D And I’ve got at least one more oneshot based on a malec scene in mind so let’s see. I hope you guys enjoy ;w; (and tagging u @damasath bc um yes u know I hope u like it too >.<)

Seeing Laxus be nervous was a rare occurrence and even now his nervousness only got exposed by the tiny strain Freed could spot on his boyfriend's features. The rune mage watched him in silence, not wanting to bother Laxus in his concentration.

Master Makarov would be coming over for dinner this evening and they had something important to tell him. It had become apparent quickly that the dragon slayer didn't exactly have magic hands when it got around the art of cooking so Freed was surprised when his boyfriend insisted on preparing a certain stew he knew his grandfather liked all by himself. So this time it was the blond in an apron, Freed was merely the emotional support.

He couldn't deny that Laxus had made progress during the time of them being together and it made him smile a little every time he thought about it. Unfortunately, it was one of his duties as a good boyfriend to be honest and so he's had to confess to his dragon slayer that whatever he had prepared was far from perfect multiple times up until now.

Leaning against the kitchen counter Freed let his boyfriend work, unable to conceal the small curve of his lips as he watched him. The tiny wrinkles on the taller man's forehead were rather cute and it was always a welcome change to see Laxus let loose a little. He always made so much effort not to reveal too much of himself or his feelings that it was nice to know that, around certain people and him especially, he could relax a bit better and actually show the one or other vulnerable side even.

“So, this is a recipe Master showed you when you were a kid?” Freed asked with sincere interest, deep voice calm. In case his boyfriend got a little stressed or exasperated if anything wasn't going as planned, he would be there to soothe him.

The expression of utter concentration stayed put. “Yea. I remember he told me it's one of his favorites, so I thought it'd be nice to cook it for him.”

“Well, judging by the ingredients alone it sounds like a quite delicious stew,” Freed hummed.

“It is.” Laxus' eyes darted to the note resting on top of the counter. He'd written down some stuff so he wouldn't forget anything important.

They may have gone through some major troubles but Freed was well aware of how important Makarov was to Laxus. How important they were to each other. All of them had found a family in Fairy Tail, screw blood relation because any strong bond was relevant no matter what kind, but Laxus and his grandfather still had each other and they had always played an important role in each other's life. That much was undeniable.

It was because of this fact that the Raijinshuu's captain was a bit nervous himself. Ever since Laxus and him had announced their romantic relationship to Fairy Tail's Master, he had expressed nothing but joy and support. He made loving jokes and said how 'it took them long enough' and seemed quite happy that his grandson had found this love in the rune mage in general. Even though there had never been anything else apart from positive reactions, Freed still wondered how he would react to the news that the two of them were engaged now.

Obviously, his reaction was just as, or perhaps even more, important to Laxus which is why he was working so hard for this stew to turn out perfect.

“Did you ever cook it before?” After handing Laxus the spices he had asked for, Freed went to the cupboard to get himself a glass. Considering for a moment, he then decided to pour himself just a bit of wine. It was five in the afternoon and it wouldn't be all too long until Makarov would arrive at their shared apartment.

“Uh, yea. I prepared it one time. Gramps said he liked it, so I don't wanna disappoint him this time either. That'd be fuckin' embarrassing.” Confusion passed Laxus' face for a split second before he began to stir the soup again, hoping that he'd added an accurate amount of the spices.

A silent chuckle appeared on Freed's face, slipping past his boyfriend's notice. “Perhaps it would.” Knowing their Master he would definitely tease Laxus a little about a horrible result but they knew it was all in a completely playful manner and not meant to shame him. The chuckle grew back into a small smile, wine glass lightly swaying in his left hand. “But you're a good man, Laxus. Even if you were to mess up, Master would appreciate the effort.”

Because having Laxus prepare a stew and put so much thought and hope into it revealed more than any words could.

Sure, they both may have messed up in their life big time, some times shared and others not. They were far from perfect. They were far from having exclusively good morals, instead moving in a grey zone very often. But he would still like to believe that they had become better men over time.

The dragon slayer had acknowledged Freed's words in silence. The wrinkles on his forehead had become more visible for a moment there.

“A good man,” the captain repeated. His tone had changed a little though and if Laxus paid attention to it then he would surely have been able to pick out the smirk on the other man's face. “And so adorable with herbs in your hair.”

The dragon slayer stopped stirring the soup and turned his head just in turn to spot the amused glint in Freed's uncovered eye. He gave a huff and reflexively reached up to ruffle his hair.

Putting down his glass the rune mage took two steps closer to stand in front of the taller man and if he wasn't being delusional then he was certain that he saw the tiniest of blushes on Laxus' cheeks. Before the blond could mindlessly ruffle his own hair more, Freed reached up to help him get the herbs off his head with more precision. Laxus let him do so without any protest.

Once the blond strands were freed of the herbs again, the green-haired man gently cupped one of Laxus' cheeks with his palm and stroked his thumb along the skin. “I'm sure he's gonna love it. And I love you.”

Laxus sighed. It felt as though the soft contact of the swordsman's calloused hand against his skin took tension out of him. This one single moment alone had a soothing effect. “Love ya, too,” he muttered and exhaled lightly before showing the hint of a smile.

Freed returned the smile, then leaned up to place a shortly lingering peck on the dragon slayer’s lips before then taking a step back again. His gaze fell on the soup in the big boiler with curiosity. “Well, when will it be ready?”

Laxus had another look at his little note before adding the final ingredient. He was definitely contented with the consistence of it so by the looks of it, his stew should be an utter success. The scent was good as well, nothing that bothered his sensitive dragon slayer nose either, so now there was to hope that it tasted as good as it smelled and looked.

In order to discover that, there was only one possible thing to do. Freed loved using him and his team mates as taste testers (what wasn't a bad thing most of the time since the man was a great cook – but god forbid, they never wanted to touch any winged fish ever again, not even if it was prepared by Freed) so it would just be fair to have Freed act as his taste tester as well.

“Just a few more minutes now,” Laxus assured, and by this time the nervouness had seeped out of his features almost entirely. If Freed had to guess what this sudden new emotion was he spotted then he'd almost dare to say that it was excitement. Or perhaps something hopeful.

The rune mage watched how the taller man grabbed a big spoon and ladled some of the stew before holding it towards him.

“Here, try it. Careful though.” Because it was still hot, obvisouly.

Where Freed had been leaning against the counter again previously, he was now standing up straight. His gaze switched between Laxus' attentive eyes and the filled spoon right before his mouth but not wanting to let the dragon slayer wait he tried the stew.

And his expression changed immediately. Much to Laxus' pleasure, though Freed could tell he tried not to show it too much, Freed emitted a hum of approval and another one. Eyes had widened a tad bit and he nodded in encouragement. “That's, mmmh, that's really good. Yes. It tastes great, Laxus.”

“Hell yeah.” Laxus grinned and put the spoon away into the sink. Now he at least didn't have to be nervous about the stew anymore and only about this evening's subject of conversation. “Gonna go and lay the table then.”

And once the dragon slayer was out of sight, Freed grabbed his emptied glass in a quick movement. His expression had changed at once and with the back turned towards the door, he spluttered out the stew into the glass.

Dammit.

Perhaps it was the spices or the weird mixture of herbs that Laxus had used. Perhaps there was an error in how he remembered the recipe. But god knows there was something about this stew that made it taste not good.

Rubbing his mouth with the back of his hand, Freed reached for the stirring spoon. “I'll join you in a bit!” He shouted before he thought about all the different ingredients they had in store because one thing was clear: he had to do something to try and save Laxus' stew.

For some reason he didn't have the heart to tell Laxus the truth once he tasted what he had fabricated with so much effort and concentration. He didn't have the heart to tell him that this stew he wanted to prepared for his grandfather was far from tasting good and even if this could be considered cheating, he had to do something so it tasted better.

Screw his duty of being a brutally honest boyfriend for once. This matter was different. Clearly. It was Freed who began to feel a little stressed at this very moment but there was no way around it so with his mind at work, he proceeded to work on the stew without Laxus noticing.

Perhaps he would have had a little less of a bad conscience if he could have foreseen that Makarov would reveal his surprise about how comparably good the stew tasted later this evening, claiming that the first time Laxus had prepared it for him had actually been horrible but he had faked his joy not to disappoint the young boy.

It had led to Laxus frowning very hard while they were seated at the table and eating. He'd clearly been confused because he had certainly used the very same recipe and a bit angry and certainly a little disappointed but after silently putting some pieces together he had shot his boyfriend a knowing and judging look who instantly focused on Makarov and their conversation far too hard.

Yea, very suspicious.

What this had done though was to take away some suspense about the actual main revelation of the evening and the relief and anew happiness that coursed through the two men after hearing Makarov's reaction to the news of their fresh engagement overshadowed everything else.

At least for the next hours.

[fadedtoblue]

NYCC 2018 Daredevil Season 3 Clips: Spoilers abound!

Sorry this is a little late - I had drafted everything on mobile but I couldn’t do read more cuts and figured it was worth waiting until I was back at my computer, just in case. I don’t want to spoil anyone who is actually trying to avoid that stuff.

Anyway, this is a Very Spoilery write up of the clips we saw at NYCC the other day. Pardon any errors or nonsense - I wrote this quite late the other evening and no mobile no less. I might be a little bit fuzzy on certain specifics right now but the major beats should be covered! I’ve also tried to match up screengrabs from the released trailers to add context. Read at your own risk under the cut...

Clip #1: Matt and Maggie

Scene opens with two little boys poking around a disgruntled Matt who is lying in bed. We soon find out that these are little boys who live at St. Agnes, the orphanage Matt himself grew up in, and where he is apparently convalescing. Sister Maggie comes in to shoo them off - she comes off as very strict and humorless, which comes into play when she starts chatting with Matt as she’s redressing his wounds. They talk about he was young and he was her charge at the orphanage. They also talk about Matt being the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen (he had to have been dropped off in his costume I guess!) and go into a back and forth about his senses and how it all works. Maggie also emphasizes to Matt that since he’s mostly healed, he’ll need to find another place to stay.

Clip #2: Karen and Foggy

Karen and Foggy are having a hushed conversation in the Nelson family butcher shop. Karen thinks Matt might be alive because she’s heard about some guy in a black mask running around town. Foggy firmly disagrees, implying that it’s not possible, and this whole thing is clearly a sore subject for them. Karen asks something like don’t you want to be sure that this isn’t your best friend running around out is there and Foggy seems resigned, saying that if that were actually his best friends, then Matt would have come to them already. Karen leaves, upset.

Clip #3: Special Agent Nadeem and Fisk

This is inside the prison, Nadeem and Fisk sit across each other at a table. Nadeem starts to give some FBI spiel as but stops part way, thinking this whole thing with Fisk is nothing more than a charade. Fisk doesn’t see it that way, and launches into a speech about how he’s been willing to pay the debt on his crimes, but he refuses to accept that the person he loves (Vanessa) should pay for those crimes too. I can’t remember that particulars now, but this is basically when Fisk asks to strike a deal - he’ll become an informant in exchange for a Vanessa’s safety.

Clip #4: Matt vs. FBI

The scene opens inside a car, which happens to belong to Big Ben Donavan; Matt lurks menacingly behind the drivers seat while Ben is unaware. Matt then pulls a cord across Ben’s neck and threatens to choke him in exchange for information - why did Fisk flip on the Albanians and what his greater plan is. Ben gives some answers that are clearly unsatisfactory to Matt, who pulls the cord even tighter - Ben insists that Fisk is doing this all for Vanessa, but Matt believes it has to be more than that. Before he can finish interrogating Ben, feds enter that parking garage level, and Matt tries to make an escape. So begins Matt basically working in stealth mode and trying to take out the agents one at a time, almost succeeding, until he runs face to face with an agent aiming a gun at his face. Matt goes into ass kicking mode, taking down the agents even though he pleads with them to not do this. One of the agents yells at Matt that these guys have families - it feels like the seeds are being sown for DD becoming public enemy #1, at least with the Feds.

Clip #5: Introducing Agent Dex

Fisk’s FBI convoy is shot out of the road but what I assume is heavy weaponry, flipping the car over and knocking out all the passengers, including Fisk. When Fisk comes to, he’s shouting for Nadeem and he realizes there’s some serious shit going on outside. He actually looks a little nervous - FBI agents surround the overturned vehicle, firing on an unknown group of assailants, who are packing a lot of firepower and taking down the agents. They clear out the group and turn to trying to get Fisk out of the car, shooting at the windows to weaken the glass and bringing in machinery to cut through the door, presumably to capture him for themselves and some unknown purpose. Before they finish, there is suddenly someone gunning for the group. He picks everyone off cleanly and accurately, one by one. When it appears he might be out numbered, he throws dual knives straight into two dudes’ throats. He headshots the remaining mystery assailants, right as Fisk manages to get out of the vehicle, and slowly lower himself to the ground with hands on his head. Agent Dex has his gun trained straight on Fisk - this is the first time they cross paths.

Clip #6: Bullseye Teaser, which everyone has already seen!

Clip #7: Matt vs. Bullseye

Okay this was some crazy bonkers bullshit. I’ll give you a chance to stop reading bc it might be worth experiencing totally fresh on the show but if you wanna keep going, then you do you.

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Scene opens with Foggy walking into the Bulletin newsroom. The first thing he sees is a dead employee, bloody on the ground. His eyes move across the room and he sees the back of Daredevil. Foggy is clearly confused. Fake Daredevil turns around and makes eye contact with Foggy, who is stock still, whether from fear or confusion, it’s not clear. Fake Daredevil, who is Bullseye, reaches down to pull his billy club out of another employee’s head. Then he lobs it across the room directly at Foggy’s head, when it is suddenly stopped right in front of his face by Matt, who is wearing an improvised black outfit. Foggy is stunned AF and eventually turns and runs out of the room - he goes out a door and closes it, only to find Karen and two other employees holed up while she’s pointing a gun at the door.

Back to Matt and Bullseye - we see Matt holding the baton and both of them sizing each other up and that’s where we get the “Who are you?” “I’m Daredevil.” exchange. At this point, shit suddenly gets REALLY real and I don’t think I can even convey the specific order and particulars of this crazy ass fight, not in a way that does it justice. It starts out hand to hand, and Matt is putting up a solid fight. Unfortunately, they are fighting in a newsroom full of office supplies, which basically becomes a limitless toy box of weapons for Bullseye. I can’t remember the exact order as the scene bounces all over the room, but Matt is woefully underprepared for this. 

There is definitely the moment when Bullseye bounces the baton off the ground and straight into Matt’s face - ow. Then the fight goes another level of crazy - basically any piece of office furniture, accessory, or equipment becomes a deadly weapon in Bullseye’s hands. Moments include: Bullseye grabbing a handful of pencils right when Matt pulls up part of a desk to shield himself - every pencil pierces partially through stopping short of his face. Bullseye nailing Matt in the head with a computer monitor, a stapler, like...everything, and this is WHILE Matt is dodging and flipping and crashing through furniture, doing his usual shit. He gets hit by EVERYTHING. There is a moment when he is hiding behind the wall of a cubicle, Bullseye grabs a roll of tape (?) aims it the wall opposite Matt and bounces it straight into this face. Or Matt is trying to quietly take an xacto knife or similar looking utility item off someone’s desk, but Bullseye shoots some other office item at his hand before he can pick it up, as if he were sniping him with a gun. There’s another crazy moment when Bullseye chucks a large crystal ball looking paperweight or snow globe or something at Matt’s head, which he catches, but he shoots a pencil straight into the globe and explodes it in his hand. Matt does manage to distract him long enough by making a noisy diversion, at which point he launches into him and resumes hand to and and does whatever he can to take Bullseye down, keeping his arm pinned back just out of reach of a pair of scissors in a pencil cup...but he manages to get his hands on it, and flicks the scissors STRAIGHT INTO MATT, which completely throws him off and onto the ground, at which point a bookshelf falls on top of him (or he may have fallen into shelving) and Bullseye basically stomps his face. 

Matt is out and Bullseye looks gleeful about what he did - a small maniacal smile crosses his lips. But then there are sirens that sound like they’re getting closer and that’s probably what saves Matt from getting seriously wrecked or killed.

Again I feel like I’m doing a shit job of describing just how incredible this scene was. You fully grasp the extent of Bullseye’s abilities straight away and everything is filled with a ruthlessness. Matt is STRUGGLING. It’s just bonkers good okay?

Anyway, that’s it for the clips. I am so hyped for DDS3, you could not believe. October 19 cannot come soon enough!

[survivorelara]

Episode #11: “I ain't gonna be a hero anymore” -Sam

Lmaoooo drew is soooo bitter he’s soooooo Mad 😂😂😂😂😂 not my fault that u were kind of a brick wall to talk too!!!! I hate how these entitled bitches think if your not being flashy your not playing the game at all I know I’m probably not gonna win the game but I’m still trying anyways and outlasting these bitter bitches always makes me feel soooo good. I also have an idol in my pocket and like I feel like I got allies to that will listen to me last round I threw John Coffeys name out and he got out I just gotta let the other people do my dirty work but since it’s near the end I am gonna get More aggressive now to make these people feel sorry that they saw me as a goat it’s kinda pretty hard to make a move pre merge when your constantly on the winning tribe tbhhh I’m gonna take Drew’s final words with a grain of salt because he’s soooo wrong LMAO don’t come for me when ur big three placements are shit.

Honestly I don’t hate him tho I’m not trashy enough to hate somebody over a game I always did like drew he’s cool and he was  my first hosting duo buddy but if he rude to me in ponderosa or FTC I’m legit coming for him.

Woo F8. (This is all I have in me at the moment. I have a lot going on right now, and it's more of a me problem than anything else.)

So yeah, I ended up voting in the minority which is a little awkward since ciere is still in the game but I'll survive. I was just tryna save someone close to me and I knew i could trust but I guess it wasn't meant to be. I knew I wasn't going anywhere last vote but it was so important for me cause it was gonna set the whole pace for the rest of my game, and even though things didn't exactly work out, I believe I can recover and still cause some major damage in this game. I tried to play a "real" game, but that's usually pretty difficult to do on a vivor org. The gloves are off now, it's time to play ruthlessly. Who's ready for shit to go down, I ain't gonna be a hero anymore

Everyone is trying their hardest to be on the opposite side of Andrea sort of double-agent-esque without being caught but it's so freaking obvious. Roxy seems to always dance around the idea of voting Andrea, and Drew just blatantly suggested voting someone else even though Andrea is logically the best boot.

NOW that 4-some of Myself, Roxy, Ci'ere, and Drew are supposedly voting Emma at the moment, but it's like... Why? Also I'd rather not considering Emma is probably the least likely on that side to vote me out, which is why I'd rather keep her, as well as she's in my ideal F3 plans almost always given everyone's perception of her.

Kori wants to gun for Drew T. Purrfect! 😺 Drew H. must have some kind of...sixth sense because destroyed us all in that challenge and I thought I did well! When I got to the puzzle, he had already found & solved the entire thing. A beast.

Okay, hello! 👽 Since things have finally died down, for the moment, I’m going to reflect on the happenings of last round & this round. This will probably be an obese confessional with a ton of grammatical errors so, sorry in advance lol. Where do I even begin ASDFG

Kori told me that since Drew H. was immune, we should go for Drew T. & I was down for that. I confirmed this with the rest of the Revatis: Andrea, Emma & Loris. That was the 5 we needed for majority.

However, Sam has a different agenda. Drew T. informs me that Sam is coming after me when I just subtly tried to let him know I wanted to go to the end with him... Kori tells me that Andrea said she wasn’t voting for Drew T. & that’s when I realize things are starting to turn against me. There were already 3 votes on Drew T. (excluding myself) so if I could flip Roxy or Drew H. that would be a majority to save myself. I immediately went to them both & told them that I might be able to secure the votes next round for at least a tie because Kori was interested in flipping. I think I mentioned this previously, but Roxy has been telling me that Drew T has been throwing her under the bus which I confirmed to her to be true. I mention this again to her now to turn her against him. Drew T. then explains that he wants for us to vote Andrea & I’m all for this blindside, but how do I know that he isn’t trying to trick me into splitting so then I would be eliminated instead :O He seemed very genuine about this plan tho in which I felt comfortable.

I make an alliance chat for the four of us & we agree on Andrea, but Roxy seemed to be indifferent about the idea in pms. She doesn’t feel comfortable with giving Drew T. power after he threw her under the bus. I ultimately give her the choice because our votes would make-up a majority & I would be able to place the blame on her for picking Drew hehe. With less than a minute left she decides Drew T. & that was all she wrote.

I believe this move definitely strengthens my relationship with Roxy who seemed kind of like a third wheel to the Drews. Had Drew T. stayed he would’ve assumed Andrea’s position as the person with the most connections & Sam would’ve been in his pocket. I guess Drew H, Roxy & I could’ve countered that, but what’s done is done. Sam has now lost his closest ally & me who had his back, so now he’s tied to Andrea (and Loris apparently).

The vote impacted Heuser negatively because Roxy & I didn’t tell him about it...which was a mistake. He said he “would’ve been okay with doing the other Drew & that was probably our only shot at taking out Andrea”. Maybe we should’ve taken out Andrea because she still has several connections & the Revati idol is still floating around somewhere, ugh. Heuser says he’ll win every single immunity challenge from here on out if that’s what it takes for him to get to the end (and so far he’s on a 2-win streak).

After the votes were revealed, Sam was expecting me to be angry & blow up his pms. Nah. I’m going to give you the Dani treatment because boys can’t stand when you don’t respond to them hehe. I kept my composure & was really cool about the situation which I am SO proud of myself for because usually I’d be popping off on everyone and their mother by now lmao.

Loris admits that he has to vote out people he’s gotten close to & since he’s telling me that, he’s not playing me. He wants to take me to the end. That sounds rad! Another person that thinks they can beat me in the end and will take me there. Loris tells me everything about his day & he’s hilarious. Loris is a f u r r y.

Fast forward to the present day. Right off the bat Kori warns me about Andrea coming after me because I’m “mad & hate her.” I legit hold no hostility against Andrea nor did I give her any reason to think that, so I’m slightly offended she would say that. All I said to her was that we agreed to Drew T., but she sheeped Sam and tried acting like Drew T.’s name never came up... I also asked Sam what happened and tried to guilt trip him just a bit. Sam says that he felt closer to Drew & tried to save him by going for what he thought was the easy vote aka me. Well guess what...I’m still here, binch. You thot wrong. I tried socializing more with Sam for the past couple of days and even subtly hinted to him in my last tribal answer that I wanted to go to the end with him. His loss.

When things get slightly spicy in the tribe chat between Andrea & I, she exposes Kori. Kori says that Andrea implied coming after me, but she says she explicitly said my name and she said she didn’t know. I’m starting to see Kori’s game & maybe he’s not as slick as he thinks. He claims to actually want Drea out, but he’s pulled tricks out in the past & I have my eye on him. Oh & someone told Andrea that there was an alliance made to vote her out. Roxy says Andrea came to her about it too so I presume Heuser went to her about, but I already exposed him to her hehe.

So I gather up my messy peers Heuser, Kori & Roxy forming a squad of Rexhars & Bad Binches. We seem to all want something different & the trust there is severely lacking... Roxy wants to vote Loris, Kori wants Andrea, then there’s Drew and I that pushed for Emma.

Here’s our current plan: We’re all in agreement to at least make this tie. We would like to avoid this though by getting Sam to flip. To accomplish this we’re going to pitch Emma because no one’s connected to her besides Andrea probably. Before that though the other 4 will probably vote together for one of Roxy, Kori or I. After the vote initially ties, we lock in our revotes for Emma & get Sam to realize that he’s putting his own game on the line for her. If he flips then we succeeded with Emma being voted out & we have the numbers for next round. No one would use an idol on her either unless this plan is foolishly leaked. If Sam decides to go to rocks then the odds are still in our favor with Andrea, Loris & Sam drawing against 2 of us. And trust me bby, I’m ready for ROCKS ROCKS ROCKS.

Heuser thinks I’m actively trying to get the other side to vote for me because I would be safe in a rock situation. Of course that’s a perk of my plan, but I’m really just trying to do what’s best for us & it would make the most sense to turn them against me. He also gave me this compliment that I would like to note: “you're amazing with numbers in games, you see layouts really well”

I’m being nice to Sam because I like talking to him and hopefully he won’t try to push for me again. If I shunned him then that would automatically lead to him wanting me out, so it’s time to do damage control for the move he made against me. He says that Andrea and Loris are trying to take each other out. :O Maybe me @’ing Andrea wasn’t such a bad thing after all if it means these two big players take each other out hehe.

HI!!! trIBALS sad and boring and scary bc names are getting thrown and then retracted and I’m gonna fall asleep and then wake up and I’ve gone home??? most likely. Jk I don’t think?? I’ll go??? I love Sam and Emma and Andrea and love ciere ok basically the majority of the cast I don’t have more than 2 f3 deals which statistically means I’d have to betray someone.. no way!! ALSO TWO TRIBALS TIL LEGACY WOOOP WOOOOOP

As the days go by and the number of people start to dwindle, I feel myself becoming more and more ruthless. ever since john left, I had promised everyone in the game I was with them, and even though I betrayed that trust to a certain zosma last round, I still find myself having to cut someone im close to loose. it's incredibly risky, because all these people claim to be loyal to you and wanna go to the end with you, but you gotta cut most of them off so that never happens. so it becomes a game of, am I cutting people that were truthful to me, or keeping the people that are truthful to me. for all I know I could be voting people that do want to keep their word with me, or I could be saving them. i'm just hoping im making the right call.

so right now I do have a f4 in mind that I would like to see happen, and im gonna do what I have to in order to make that happen. obviously like I said before, it means cutting allies loose and pissing people off. but hey, that just makes the game more exciting, it could end up biting me in the ass if i make it to the end, but least im gonna have fun getting there and who knows, maybe i can pull out a win? man we love being the villain.

so the vote started off with this whole andrea vs kori ordeal, which somewhat bothered me since I wanted to go far with them, but I definitely had a preference between the two. now, it seems like it's gonna be an emma vote, which I don't want to happen yet. so I came up with an idea to get numbers on roxy, because I feel I can beat her if we did go to the end, but I don't trust her as much as I do others, and she isn't in my end game plan, so now seems like a good time to cut her loose. plus, everyone knows loris has been after her, so it was mad easy to throw him under the bus so roxy doesn't flip out on me until the moment she gets blindsided. that'll be a fun time, but if this all works out and she goes over emma, then im set for f4 unless I ended up trusting the wrong people. god I hope im making the right choice here.

so after the results of this vote and roxy screams at me, other people like kori are definitely not gonna trust me anymore. but that doesn't matter, because he isn't in my ideal f4 or even f5 scenario. im tryna get ciere back on my side, which I hope is working. he seems like he could be biting, idk if he really has anyone else or not. esp since his name seems to be floating around again and I told him id let him know if it was, so nows my chance to extend an olive branch of trust again

all of this could end up blowing up in my face and getting me voted out, but the thing is in order to win this game, you gotta take risks. and that's what im doing, im taking another massive risk here. I dodged a sniper bullet last round after the ciere vote didn't quite work out, but ive rebounded hard and back in the drivers seat, and it's time for roxy to go just as drew t predicted. man that'll be a fun time for those two in ponderosa!

If just once my game could not depend entirely on these absolute fucking idiots that would be amazing. Only thing i'm waiting for at this point is to leave another alliance chat at 8:01

Well from Ci'ere and Andrea two ideal boots for me to Roxy or Emma two non-ideal boots... this game just knows how to take the most violent of turns.

I guess we'll see if Sam's being even half honest with me if he votes Emma. If he does I think I've got some ideas for moving forward, but we'll see. I just don't know how things are gonna go moving onward, and I just hope this doesn't go to rocks or an idol play that totally isolates or knocks me out of this thing.

I'm also just hoping I don't end up regretting voting Emma instead of someone else.

Tribal sucks. Idk what going on and idk who i wanna ally/work with.

MY ORDER: EMMA SAM LORIS ROXY

CIERE DREW KORI

is how I feel in terms of trust rn w big gap with roxy and ciere~  

but cant have a f5 lmao huh idk i am confused n lost

Vote Emma they said, it's the best thing they said, Roxy agreed to the whole thing but ofc apparently something happened in the last 10 fucking minutes, and she voted for me in some sort of fucked up attempt to save Emma?

I'm pissed to fucking hell, if I have a chance to cut Roxy I'm fucking doing it, this was bullshit and a half. That's assuming I somehow survive this shit. I think Drew is keeping me, and my understanding is Sam is keeping me.

That's 2/6 so I just need 1 of Roxy, Andrea, Loris, or Ci'ere to keep me. Ci'ere might keep me because the odds of Andrea or Loris going are technically good, and Sam isn't a terrible option gone for her, but I don't know if the others would/will, and it's just UGHHHHHHHH

I hate this, and I hate that it ended up being me that was stuck in this situation, though I likely brought it upon myself trying to kinda play all sides and be in the know for this whole thing. I'm just hoping for the best. (Regardless Roxy's a goner if things go the way I hope.)

Well, I did a LOT of scrambling and clawing, and I've got a F3 deal with Loris and Sam, which I honestly think could have been the best deal for me given the circumstances.

Provided nobody flips and Ci'ere, Drew, Sam, and Loris all vote the way they claim they will, I might actually come out of this alive, and hopefully I get a chance for revenge.

If it goes to rocks then ideally it'll be Andrea that goes, but that's a 1/4 chance and probably knowing my luck it won't go that way.

I just hope that everyone's being upfront at the moment, when there's not shot of an idol play there's no reason to lie about which way you're really voting at this point.

im going to cry like fuck this game for a minute.. idc ab it... sam is just too 💗💗😍😍😍💗🏋🏾‍♂️😍😍🏋🏾‍♂️😂🏋🏾‍♂️❤️👀 i love him what a soul. idc ab this stupid revote or anything just going far w him hopefully.

I'm having a very calming moment right now, I'm feeling good about my chances and I think I've overcome this voting situation. Roxy is trying to appeal to my goodside, but the farthest I'll let her go is 6th because if I can take Andrea out first for my own self-assurance I will.

This is just the calm before the storm, it's a storm in my mind, and it's a storm outside, this whole situation has been a storm. Everything is a storm, and I'm gonna ride it to the finish.

Emma is voted out after a 3-3 tie in a 5-1 vote.