#there's no phonecall to made yelling to each other about the episodes

[geekkatsblog]

Reviewing Grey's Anatomy Episodes but this time its Season 17

(To those people on my page who don't watch Grey's Anatomy but are being subjected to this I'm so sorry but I really just like to vent about this show.)

Its season 17 now Yay.

They're dealing with the covid 19 pandemic and I'm sure the writers probably did lots of research to make sure that they had the most accurate representation of the situation in the hospitals and otherwise.

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First we're going to start with the love triangle that is Teddy, Tom and Owen.

Owen

Now this is in no way excusing what he's done in the past for the longest while I've loathed Owen Hunt but..... now I feel sorry for him. He saw he had a problem he went to therapy to get himself right, he was actually a good partner for once and communicated in his relationship, he took his time and didn't jump into marriage spontaneously and then Teddy cheated on him over but dial to be heard by everyone in the operating theater with Owen on their wedding day. (I don't want to sound bad but this might also be karma coming to but him in the ass.) I felt so much 2nd hand embarrassment for him and the pain he had in his face the whole time he pretended not to know about her cheating was just oof. I loved though the end where he drove away for the mean time I really do agree with him taking some time and space before he makes a decision. Most of the times he made a lot of sudden decisions that later came back to bite him.

Teddy

Oh Teddy, she used to be one of my favorite characters from a little after she came to the time she left but now they just carried her character so far down hill that it's hard to keep the same energy I had before, now. Everyone at Grey Sloan is on Owen's side and giving her the cold shoulder and she really wants everyone to mind their own business (I honestly agree though, you're in the middle of a pandemic mind your business and do your job now isn't the time to be shunning coworkers because they cheated.) However when she did explain her side I kinda understood it a bit better. It's still an awful thing to do but I know plenty of people who sabotage their own happiness because they aren't used to it. Hell I do it myself sometimes. But then I was also pissed when she just pretended she did nothing wrong at first. First thing first she acted kinda offended when Owen explained why he hadn't called to cancel the wedding to her. Was it kinda sus? The answer is yes but you literally cheated on him that same day, you needed the extra time sis. Not to mention the several time he hinted to her that he knew and gave her the chance to confess yet she lied through her teeth whenever he hinted at it and flat out lied again when he asked if she had anything to confess. I get the whole sabotage route but God was I happy when Owen got in his truck, drove off and left her.

Tom

I was honestly rooting for Tom in the beginning, despite him being a douche I knew deep down he had a heart somewhere, but I actually started to feel less sorry for him last season when he continued to sleep with Teddy despite knowing her situation which he pointed out to her several times and she still ignored it. I know he loves her but let's be honest, she's going to pick Owen as long as he decides to actually take her back and Tom will be left alone and heart broken with his $100000 worth of boxes in booties and a golf club to measure 6 ft distance between him and everyone else. Honestly I kinda saw a panic attack coming, if they're treating Teddy bad then they're probably treating him even more like crap based on the fact that no one besides Teddy, Catherine and maybe Amelia liked him to begin with. This may also be an unpopular opinion but I actually agree with Catherine for making him resign of chief of all chiefs his head hasn't and probably won't be in the game for a while. At least he still gets to be head of neuro. He bought a whole $100000 dollars in booties alone by mistake during an already tough pandemic between that and everything else going on around him I'm not surprised he broke. What did surprise me was that no one even went near him to help even after the attack was finished. Dislike him or not at least ask him how he's doing geeze.

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Jo and Jackson (Never thought I'd have to put the two of them together in a title.)

Truly the biggest shock of the night besides the trailer for next week which I will freak out about later.

Jo

So Jo has decided that in order for her to feel herself again she has to do the devils tango with someone and because they're in a pandemic and she trusts him she chose Jackson. The night of the appointment to do the deed Jo ends up crying in his mouth. The way she treated him afterwards at first was a little uncalled for in my opinion, I mean she was the one who asked for the favor. But later they talked and it was all cool again. Jo didn't really have that big of a plot this episode so not too much to talk about.

Jackson

Agreed way to quickly to doing the devils tango with Jo if you ask me. Seems a little sus. I really hope they aren't rushing him and Jo into anything give the girl some room to breath and also give Jackson a proper plot he seems to be a plot filler for everyone right now like they have no real purpose for him on the show at the moment. I'm beginning to really think that he was the one who was supposed to die last season. I really do love his and Richard's relationship. Jackson never really had a good father and Webber seems to be filling that spot quite nicely. Him pushing Webber to fight to get better and convince him that his career can be saved was heartwarming. And can we take a moment to talk about Harriet finally appearing from the world of Narnia to bless us with her presence? And boy was she a blessing. That baby that plays Harriet was awesome from her repeating Vic saying she can't be a step mom all to her facial expressions. I hope to see baby Harriet again very soon. But speaking of Vic, did she not know that Jackson was a father? How the hell did she expect to never run into her at some point? Then there's the whole question of what did she even expect of the relationship with Jackson if she never intended to even try to accept being around his daughter? also if she really want to be Robbie Rotten from Lazy town and avoid being around kids, maybe she should call or text first instead of showing up in just a fluffy jacket and nothing else.

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Deluca

Glad to see he finally got the help he needed and is back put tho work. I felt so upset last season when everyone just treated him like crap without trying to help him, but they made up for it a little by trying to help him with the intervention. He was also right about the sex trafficking case and I was so glad to see that he was able to be there as her doctor. Plus he's now also finally in dark blue scrubs it has felt like forever before he got those but I digress. He is now on his way once again to be a kick ass surgeon with the awesome skills hes already showcasing. I just hope he continues to look after himself. Deluca shine like the star you are babe.

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Maggie

Has finally found a man who understands her, he is so nice and kind and caring the whole episode I was mentally yelling go get it hun to the screen. She deserves someone who can take her seriously and understand her awkwardness as well as her tendencies finally she has stepped out of the role of cheerleader and support character and is branching out to something else and I'm here for it. And her yelling at Catherine, to share her piece of mind. I was so proud. Go get it sis.

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Richard

Richard Webber is back in the building, finally the king has returned to himself and already solving problems in day one. At the beginning when he publicly called Catherine a pain in the ass I was so stoked I finally thought that he was done being pushed around by her but then he took her back in the end it also kinda felt like she bought him in order to get him back with the hiring him as the new chief of chiefs but I wish them the best of luck, Webber deserves to be happy. I was also happy to see him and Bailey interacting like friends again. For a while it was awkward between them but now it's like the balance has been restored. Side note, him laughing at Teddy and Owen made me laugh so loudly especially when he asked Teddy if her name was still Altman despite the fact he clearly knew about the phonecall drama, not gonna lie I'd do the same.

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Catherine

Not much there, just her being angry at the pandemic and loss of money, lack of power to save lives as well as trying to win Webber back which she successfully did after firing Koracick and giving Richard his job and finally giving him a heartfelt apology without being petty.

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Bailey

It might just be me but so far despite the fact that it's only been 2 episodes. Bailey seems somewhat better this season. Her guilt over Deluca was definitely warranted but at least she tried to make up for it (and just like Harriet her OCD has decided to rejoin us for a visit from Narnia.) For the past few seasons she's been a slight pain but now she seems more like herself.

Her and Ben are adorable as usual, coming every 12 hours to clap for the doctors just to see her then the cute hand signals they made for each other, between Ben, Link and recently added to the group of awesome partners Winston, I'm beginning to wonder where I can find me one of these super thoughtful understanding handsome men. The two guys that knocked her over as well spraining her ankle really should have to pay or something or at least apologize, they literally just knocked a doctor off her feet and made her wheel chair bound, the chief ro be exact. Her and Webber are on talking terms and well again but she really needs to know how to express concern better. She once told Ben that when she's scared she yells but a lot of things would have gone a lot more smoothly if she'd just reminded him he was a high risk for covid and state her concern for him to begin with instead of barking out orders.

I'm also wondering if shes going to be able to handle the whole Covid situation so well for the whole time, with all the chaos and disorganization with the whole ordeal not to mention the whole fit she had with the germs in the episode. I think it'll be a good storyline now that Grey's seems to be bringing mental awareness back up.

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Link and Amelia

They have now officially reached my list along with Ben and Bailey and a few others that are no longer on the show that have reached the stage of killing the couple goals on this show.

Despite the fact that they're not only raising their own baby but also Bailey, Ellis and Zola yet their relationship is still solid. I'm so proud of my baby Amelia she has come a long way from the woman who didn't even want kids to begin with.

I loved the fact that he wasn't upset over her forgetting his birthday and acted like nothing was wrong, just so she wouldn't feel bad about forgetting. I would have been livid set a reminder on your phone babes. Either way she definitely made up for it later with the whole redoing his birthday thing. Also welcome to the world Scout. Looking forward to seeing them more often.

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Levi

How did it all turn so bad, Nico has turned into such a jerk at this point I'm not even sure I'd be to upset if he left if it wasn't for the fact that I ship the person he was before and Levi so much I'm still hoping that they'll go back to how they were before Nico became a lying hypocrite. At the end I was practically begging Levi to push him away, Nico doesn't deserve it not after the way he treated him and he hasn't even shown a hint of remorse to this day.

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Meredith

The biggest shock of the whole episode. I honestly knew something was going to happen to her from the time she fell asleep and started the dream on the beach. Dreaming of beaches have never been a good sign on Grey's I just thought she was going to collapse from stress because she really had been pushing herself all episode. The thing with Meredith is that she cares so much for her patients and does anything she can to save them, but based on the preview of the next episode and the tests they showed it doesn't seem to be test. And let's just talk about that huge bombshell they dropped by bringing back Derek I never thought I'd see Patrick Dempsey on the show again. By the end of the episode I was already literally shaking in anticipation for the next episode. I know they can't kill Meredith, without her there literally is no Grey's Anatomy. That being said I really hope they don't give her cancer, (I know Patrick is involved with helping a charity for cancer.) And I also really hope she isn't getting alzheimers I just hope it's nothing serious in general. She's been through enough man. I just want this to be a really touching moment where I get to see Merder have some touching moments and it doesn't end up to be Izzie and Denny all over again. I don't think anyone is ready to handle that. I read in a spoiler that there's supposed to be some more visitors arriving on the beach and I'm stoked for it so I really hope it's a real spoiler I'm tired of rewatching the newer seasons to experience some of the old joy.

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Imma need them to give that intern Perez an official recurring contract for the show because he is currently one of the best things to come on that show in years. He's a breath of fresh air.

[ryoceann]

Walker- 1x04 ~spoilers~

I know i’ve said this a dozen times...but Walker just keeps getting better and better and better! With every. single. episode. I loved everything about this episode so much and again! Jared live-tweeting it was the best!!! I watched this episode at 3 am lats night again help.

~spoilers~ last warning!!!

OK SO CRDIREZ BEAUTY EPISODE!!! YES! I loved loved loved loved the development of their friendship in this episode SO MUCH! 

First scene Cordirez and them badass rangers catching bad guys together YES!!! Walker trying to find out Micki’s middle name is so cute pls. 

I really enjoyed the case they worked here as well. It was both deep and emotional and that twist! YEPPPP SIGN ME UP.

THE BAR SCENE WITH WALKER AND MICKI. AGAIN THEIR FRIENDSHIP! The episode title fit so well here and I’m glad Micki and Walker have really reached a good understanding on a friend and partner level. THEY\RE THE CUTEST PLEASE I LOVE THEM. 

‘‘walker where’s my drink’‘ ok every word micki and cordell exchanged with each other was the best??? 

WALKER AND HIS KIDS AND BROTHER UNPACKING TOGETHER!!! I asolutely adore their relatioship. AUGUST IN THAT BLUE HAIR AND SUNGLASSES DHJHHF AUGUST I FUCKING LOVE YOU CAN I ADOPT YOU.

I really adored the tiny exchange between Stella and Walker. Speaks volumes of how much they’ve progressed since the pilot. Walker and Stella’s dynamic I ADORE so seeing them at really good terms is just beautiful.

Annnddd now August is being the rebellious kid. 

I’m glad they brought up Belle’s case here as well bc i thought they’d completely overshadowed it. STELLA AND BELLE ARE SO CUTE! I WANT SO MUCH MORE OF THEM

OK NOW IK I SHIP CORDIREZ TOO BUT I SHIP TRICKI TOO. GOD.

They are so so so CUTE WITH EACH OTHER AND TREY IS JUST THE BEST I LOVE HIMMMM. 

Micki is such an epic artist??? HOLY SHIT GIRL HOW MUCH TALENT DO YOU HAVE HIDDEN IN THERE.

Micki and Walker working the case ‘off the books’! YES PARTNERS IN CRIME. or well soving crime. i didn’t like monty shaw too much anyways...idk bad vibes. WALKER DEFENDING MICKI AND SAYING SHE CAN FEND FOR HERSELF. I COMBUSTED.

THE CORPSE LADY WAS THE SAME ONE FROM SUPERNATURAL’S NIGHTMARE 1X14. HOLY SHIT.

*sigh* The Harlan Family. Classic Rich People.

‘‘can we keep this one off the books’‘ ‘‘OFF THE BOOKS???’‘ ‘‘are you kidding me off the books is my middle name. Just kidding it’s Beauregard what’s yours’‘ HHAHAH NICE TRY WALKER I LAUGHED SO HARD THEY’RE ADORABLE.

Cordell Beauregard Walker- such a fucking handful!

THE INTERROGATION SCENE. WHEN THAT GIRL WINKED AT WALKER AND HE JUST FLINCHED AND TURNED AROUND LMAO. WALKER WHAT HAVENT U HAD PPL HIT ON U BEFORE.

‘‘You got it ranger rick!’‘ PLSJJCDDFJFD. ‘‘that was so satisfying’‘ same micki same.

‘MICHELLE FLORIANA’‘ WOW??? I LOVE IT.

ALSO MUSKRAT! ADORABLE SO ADORABLE I WANT CORDELL TO CALL MICKI MUSKRAT ALL THE DAMN TIME.

‘‘on a scale from micki to muskrat where am i’‘ ‘‘floriana’‘ THAT LOOK THO.  HSHSHSHS DONT WORRY WALKER YOU’LL GET THERE.

-I love how this show is really taking the time to address the difficulties someone like Micki- A Female Latina would go through- the sexism, blatant disrespect and disregard. Micki’s character is also something that’s very well written and acted(Lindsey ily) and portrayed extremely well. One of my favorite things about Walker is how he really trusts Micki, views her as an equal, and wants to earn her trust, not demand it. It’s perfect(cordirez breakdown time). Micki is also slowly letting her fences down around him and it’s a huge and very delightful to see step. I love and adore their friendship and chemistry so much. 

MICKI SPEAKING IN SPANISH IS AN OFFICIAL TURN ON FOR ME BYE.

ALL OF THEM SOLVING THE CASE TOGETHER!!! NOT JUST CORDIREZ BUT TREY TOO! WALKER AND TREY MEETING TOGETHER WHEN.

Trey is such an amazing boyfriend truly! THE TOWEL ON HIS SHOULDERS DJSFDJFD AND AH THE COMIC MICKI DREW??/ ADORABLE. Also love how encouraging and supportive Trey is. The men in this show are the best.

LIAM AND WALKER SCENE. I love their dynamic too and i wanna see moreee. Also more micki and liam scenes yes please.

‘‘thanks brother very supportive’‘ i sobbed when he called him brother. i just. *screams*

Ok so Abby and Bonham really had a bad falling out huh. Abby was in an affair with someone who still misses her??? Damn, can’t wait to see how this one progresses. ALSO WALKER FINDING THAT LETTER FROM GARY TO ABBY IN THE BASEMENT I FREAKEDDD,

THE ADDRESS. ON THE LETTER. IS THE SAME. AS THE LOCATION. OF JENSEN’S BREWERY. THE SAME BREWERY. WHO’S FIRST KEG OF BEER. WAS GIVEN TO JARED. BY JENSEN. ON HIS BIRTHDAY. HELP. HELP. HELP. NOT ME HAVING A J2 BREAKDOWN IN THE MIDST OF A WALKER EP AT 5 AM IN THE MORNING.

Aight so August and Ruby is a biG NO OK. Like idk idk idk just idk.

WALKER HAD AN AFFAIR(after emily so ok but still) WITH SOMEONE ELSE WHILE UNDERCOVER??? WAS IT JUST UNDERCOVER OR REAL??? I NEED ANSWERS STAT.

THE PHONE THAT WALKER HAD. ONE OF THE CONTACTS WAS WINCHESTER AUTO. W I N C H E S T E R  A U T O. Jensen coming to the show owning this shop and Walker going to him to get his car fixed when Jared Padalecki.

MICKI AND CORDELL(AND TREY!) SOLVING THE CASE TOGETHER!!!

‘‘micki gives a play by play of the security footage’‘ ‘‘we’re watching the same thing micki’‘ *bitchface* PLS I LOVE THEM.

Holy shit Mrs. Harlan having an affair with Monty??? ENZO BEING BOB’S SON??? HOT DAMN THE CASE CONTINUES. Again. LOVE THE WORK/FAMILY BALANCE.

OK OK SO THE SCENE IN WHICH MICKI AND WALKER CONFRONT SHAW AND THE LOOKS THEY GIVE EACH OTHER BEFORE MICKI GETS IN THE CAR WITH SHAW WHEN THE MUSIC STARTS PLAYING!!! YES. YES. MY SOULFOOD.

I loved the way they worked it out. Phonecall, recording everything, THEM PARTNERING AND WORKING IT OUT SO BEAUTIFULLY I NEED SO MANY MORE CORDIREZ CENTRIC EPS YALL DONT EVEN KNOW.

‘‘walker! bulldog it!!’‘ HSHJDSHDSJ YES.

PLS I SCREAMED WHEN SHAW PULLED THE GUN ON MICKI.

BUT SHE IS SUCH A FUCKING QUEEN BADASS I LOVE HER.

Success!!!! The Micki and Walker and Larry scene at the end was so cute! I like how they’re actually invested in their jobs and want to do good it’s so heartwarming.

WALKER CALLING TREY TO FIND OUT MICKI’S FAV THINGS!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! Also I genuinely love that Trey wasn’t weirded out by it or jealous or anything.  Can’t wait to see them interact I NEED IT!.

‘‘thanks for believing in me’‘ ‘‘i didnt. i trusted you.’’ HELP STOP MY FEELS.

‘‘thanks beau’‘ don’t mention it flor’‘ I DIED I DIED I DIED. MICKI AND WALKER I LOVE YOU. JKSJD MICKI WARMING UP TO THE MIDDLE NAME. THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS THE BEST.

That last scene with Walker and his mom was so touching. Walker’s relationship with his parents is so sweet. His mom hugging him and comforting him when Walker said he missed emily so much *cries* I just wanna hold him please. 

August being worried for his father’s happiness I JUST. YOU SWEET BOY. I really think messaging Twyla was a baaaaddd move though.

WALKER AND AUGUST SELFIE. The way Walker so easily just picked his son and brought him to him, made him family photographer and that scene. THE BEST. 

I genuinely don’t think anything happened between Twyla and Walker. But we’ll have to see.

oKAY SO. Captain James??? It’s just an on and off thing. Do I trust him? Do i don’t? Why did he take those surveillance vids out??? I trust Liam with it and i’m glad he’s looking into it and all. Hopefully it doesn’t backfire badly. I have a very bad feeling that James had something to do with Emily’s death.

THAT STELLA AND BELLE INTERACTION. SO CUTE. Stella giving that jar of jame to try and make up and Belle being all cute and funny I love them. For a sec i was so scared Belle might yell at her but I’m very happy to see that they’re going strong despite all the circumstances- Belle’s parent’s deportation.

ALSO TREVOR IS SO HOT??? I like him and Stella they’re cute. Stella so obviously has a huge crush on him and they ride horses so well together. HHAHAHAH THAT DANCE STELLA DID WHEN HE FOLLOWED HER ON INSTA. SO RELATABLE.

The last Tricki scene mY HEART. ‘’you wanted a hero so you drew one. then you became one’’ Micki is going to be such an inspiration I love her. And the way they interacted, Trey getting a job!!! And Micki’s excitement, THEIR HUG!!! ‘’hugging is one of my superpowers’’ TREY BARNETT I LOVE YOU.

THAT LAST SCENE WHY LEAVE IT LIKE THIS. WHAT IS HAPPENING WHY DOES WALKER OR DUKE APPARENTLY HAVE TO GO BACK.

Anyways! As you can see the entire episode was so enjoyable and I loved it. The best part of this was definitely the Cordirez friendship development and i cannot wait to see where it goes from here!

Speculation/Thoughts for Episode 5:- So it’s for sure that Walker is going back undercover as Duke who’s a baseball...person? Idk he was wearing a baseball hat so :) Walker’s past is now very much mixed in with his present and I AM SCARED. What he’s doing is yet to be revealed but Tywla is coming back and that will just. mess. things. up. The scene in which Walker is yelling at August GOD SO NOT READY FOR THAT. It feels like him and his kids might go back to how they were before. I really don’t want that to happen. Also why am I expecting a major cliffhanger. 

HEY BUT THERE’S SHIRTLESS WALKER AND! MICKI RIDING THAT MECHANICAL HORSE IN A BAR OR SMTH AND MORE INSIGHT INTO WHAT TREY IS DOING SO IM VERY EXCITED ABOUT THAT.

And it’s going on hiatus. Idk how to deal with that. :(

[sometimesrosy]

6.11 Ashes to Ashes Rewatch

It turns out that these liveblogs work best for me when I pause the dvr every commercial break and write my impressions.

Starting off: Madi and Sheidheda. I wonder if they know that we don’t care about that story as much as the Josephine and Primes story? ANYWAY they’re playing chess. He says it’s not a game it’s a lesson in strategy. He called Jackson a pawn. Then he checkmated her. BUT the thing I noticed is that the chess metaphor is still going. King and Queen. Interesting. You lose the game if the king is captured. Even though the Queen is most powerful. S6 was about saving the queen/Clarke. This is another hint to me that they’re taking this chess metaphor all the way and Clarke is going to have to save The King. Without the King, the game is lost. That means, for narrative tension purposes, he’s going to have to be in real danger in this series finale. Expect to see it. I think that anon is right. Bellamy will be the one who needs to be saved next season. And without him Clarke loses the game.

BUT then. Oh the Bellarke scene when she wakes up. Did I mention how surprised I was by how LITTLE Bellarke interacted this season? I didn’t notice because of Josephine and because so much was ABOUT Clarke, but no. They were supporting each other and on the same team but from the 2199 phonecalls to the forgiveness scene, there really wasn’t much interaction besides teammates. HOWEVER, suddenly their interaction has changed so radically. When she wakes up and and he runs over to touch her and help her up, they are so intimate and everything is focused on THEM, “you’re still here.” “thanks to you.” “I’m sorry I didn’t protect you.” “you saved me.” You and me and we. The voices are soft, the touches are tender, her eyes are virtually brimming with love and frankly so are his, which makes him feel guilty for leaving everyone behind to save her. But he is not sorry for it. And he refuses to let her risk herself to save them, too. He’s choosing HER. Honestly, it’s a lovers scene, even if they haven’t physically consummated yet. 

Then Gaia, Murphy and Miller trying to get out of the room which Murphy thinks is pointless. Gaia is praying, she says Madi is a child being attacked by a demon. Then the guards come and take Murphy away. He hears Echo is being taken to the machine shop to be given nightblood, and that’s where they need to go, so he yells at her in trig to go there for the book and stay alive until they get there and act like she hates him. And she just hollers at him in english about being a traitor. It was funny. And well done. Then Russell, that ass, tells him to go find Josephine and bring her back or it’s an eye for an eye, but not his eye, Emori. 

Second time he said eye for an eye. WHY he thinks that’s justice is beyond me. It’s got to be a second dawn thing. Because that is NOT civilization. AND Eye for an Eye is Jus daun Jus drain. You make me bleed, I make you bleed. I think that’s more evidence that eligius/second dawn/cadogan/grounders are the same thing. Or at least the different paths the same teaching could have taken given different circumstances. Not Mount Weather or The Ark, though. Becca landed the shuttle in the town where that Second Dawn bunker was. They’re tied together. They have to be. Maybe Sheidheda is what made the grounders go so brutal and anti tech. 

Bellamy is still mad at Octavia. Hey that’s actually good news. That means they get to face each other and deal with it for real. if they do that with the blakes, they should do it with princess mechanic right? let’s hope. Anyway Xavier’s brother is not happy that Gabriel killed her brothers. Oh siblings are so much trouble.

Miller’s little lift from the guard to get the knife so he could pick the lock and get him and gaia free from the cell was a lovely little scene. And talking about forgiveness for mistakes, and learning from them was good too. About how sometimes you have to disobey to transcend? They’re throwing so much moral philosophy in with the action and adventure.

Clarke tells Gabriel that “we got this,” and for the first time it’s actually true when someone says that. Although she wants to NOT use the psychosis bomb to avoid a massacre, and Russell is going to pull the switch anyway. Kind of like the way Dante and Cage ruined her plan to save MW and her people.

The Blakes scene is really good. The one in the glowing mushroom cave. She doesn’t ask for forgiveness, but to be his sister again. And I like what she said about losing her compass without him and how she needs him in her life. And how what she did will weigh on her her whole life. He doesn’t forgive her, but he does say she’s his sister, but not his responsibility. Which is also true. Maybe they get to have an adult relationship now. 

The Ash scene... still great. Echo was great in it, being vulnerable and emotional, wanting to tell him the thing she’d never told anyone. Then the two little girls. Horrible story. Excellent storytelling. That’s the kind of twist that works so well, weaving in themes of violence and abuse and mindwiping and secrecy, with the character reveal that explains her character very well and leaves you hoping for something better for her. So key. I know people don’t like Echo,  but I know most of that is c/b/e issues and I think that’s not the story that’s the fandom. But that’s their response. For the story, it’s great.

ok. The murphy scene where he comes in to kidnap josephine, that’s sad. he doesn’t want clarke dead but he’s forced to do this for emori and their plan, and telling the echo’s in trouble too but he’ll do his best for her. He’s trying to be the hero even if he’s playing both sides. He’s trying. That little trickster soon to be god.

BUT the five seconds where Clarke kneels in front of Bellamy and ungags him and tells him she can do this with a soft smile, and he’s so soft back. “For Monty,” she says. “For Monty he responds and Octavia agrees. It’s so freaking romantic. It’s so DIFFERENT from how they have interacted before. Even their most intimate scenes never had this quality, support yes, care yes, but never this blatant open adoration. No shields left between them. It’s fabulous. And girl says “she’s not josephine,” and Bellamy says, “no she is not.” Like she’s so much better. nice.

Now she goes into sanctum. She’s a much better actress than Josephine. How she treats Madi is heartbreaking, pretending to be dead and knocking her out and then acting like she can’t wait until she dies. Poor Clarke. 

Anyway. That was a good episode. This is making me excited for the new season. 

@linzzmorgan100 @wolfheartgirl  @braindeadkat @kattitudereads @beholdmysparkle @elspethelfgordie @theatre-steph @franklyineedcoffee  @iishallbelieve

[baeddel]

this episode of Columbo, ‘Murder in Malibu’... fuckign uh... Columbo spoilers... idrk what happened cuz I wasnt watching it because I’ve seen it before like 10 times (I love columbo man) but I actually forget the plot lol. But theres this scene towards the end where the murdered woman’s sister reveals that she made a phonecall to her sister’s fiancé, posing as her sister, telling him she hates him and calling off the wedding. The reason she did this is established to be a kind of complicated thing, where it isn’t jealousy, she’s like, ‘she didn’t know how to deal with a man like that, she didn’t know how to use him and them dump him!’ right, but its clear that she’s also actually faking her real feelings when she says this and doesn’t really believe this, but it isn’t clear to us what she really believes or why she really did it. She’s a kind of character who only exists in Columbo.

Anyway, then the fiance enters the room with her, and she’s yelling at him to get out, while he’s giving this kind of monologue where he’s like... “We both did terrible things for her...” (the sister), “we deserve each other, we need each other.” And she relents and reveals she wants to be with him, too. And he says that they know neither of the two of them killed her. We actually know this isn’t true, because he’s the killer, but I greatly prefer the scene the way I saw it when I didn’t remember the plot, which was that they weren’t the killer, but they were immersed in some other deeper thing for the benefit of an absent character who we never meet. It plays like Tristan und Isolde, both permanently entangled by their own cruelty, sentenced to an irrepressable, doomed love. There’s a kind of genuine abyss to this scene.

It also makes me think of Metal Gear, the kind of extremely serious conversations Big Boss & the other characters have, about things they did in the past and how it permanently alters their life, esp. w/ reference to absent characters like the Boss. This kind of domination by apparations is really interesting to me & achieves a kind of emotional complexity that other crime shows (Columbos not even a ‘crime drama’) and videogames usually don’t, while at the same time being completely unrelatable and not believable. The scenes play out like a morality play but the characters resist easy categorization, their motives are driven by some kind of greater, inhuman impulse as they become subjected to processes beyond their control, their personalities simaultaneously flattening out and expanding to their role in the story. Columbo was a good show!!!

[elizabethrobertajones]

Argh, the thing on my mind after watching 11x19 is that it and 11x11 each have such specific relevance to one particular Winchester per episode when it comes to the little mini arc set up in 11x04 where Sam asks Dean about something with someone in the life.

11x11 and Eileen seem specifically about Sam, romantically, and Dean is even paired off quite blatantly with Mildred, the most excellent "romantic false lead" ever to show us the two of them being paired off and Mildred even intervening to let them have alone time after vicariously shipping them together herself as a way of ascertaining Eileen's interest in Sam (I mean... I assume so, if you guess she's super canny and kindly about being very manipulative, and she literally drags Dean away from Sam and Eileen at one point :P). Eileen is also very compatible thematically to Sam as someone he can reflect on as well as attach to... She has similar mental landscape to Sam, with the cold open showing something happening to her while she was in her crib, a life-long thing to hunt, getting revenge but not going to a law career, etc.

She was very clearly someone fitting the description of what Sam had been wondering about in 11x04. She's very clearly a mirror and parallel to him, as well as someone who represents what he actively wants, because I really don't think you can pair the 11x04 conversation and Sam stashing a retirement home leaflet as being JUST Sam planning for his future. That's a ridiculous romantic keepsake that reminds him of that excellent day, because Eileen did not have the presence of mind to give him a freakin' lock of her hair or something more appropriate than stealing a pamphlet on the way out the door of the retirement home...

In 11x19 Jesse and Cesar are a bit more of an abstract example for Dean, but show him basically what he could take away from all this - he dismisses Sam in 11x04 asking him about it all, but in 11x19 he's so surprised he derails their discussion of the monster to croak out his question about what's it like settling down with a hunter, as if seeing for the first time. (I mean, seriously, I haven't re-watched in ages, I'm amazed at how creaky and off-guard he sounds as he asks after seeing it in gifsets mostly since then...) Then someone else has to interrupt back onto the monster exposition dump they'd been in the middle of until Dean (of course) managed to blurt out enough words to make Cesar be like, come on babe, this is going to be so awkward, I'm just going to tell him, and Jesse scowled like, fine but don't blame me if they hate us, and Cesar was like, nah this guy is cool, just... going to randomly reveal we're married to him like, I toootally don't feel a comfortable level of kinship with this dude or something hahaha that would be ridiculous (sorry, that pretend inner monologue turned into me being snarky >.> There's no characterisation consistency in my rambling :D)

So Dean and Sam are split up again and Jesse represents some pretty different emotional stuff to Sam, dealing with the brother stuff and all that (just like Mildred dealt more with the retirement and old age theme to Dean of making him long for a sunset without necessarily bringing in romantic connections unless you're me and have the Gas n Sip logo tattooed on your eyelids), while Cesar and Dean mostly just hunt and bond a bit. They very specifically have a conversation about revenge on the drive to it, which reflects Eileen's parting comments about the hunt feeling no different despite it being her revenge resolution hunt (meaning she continues hunting, as Sam does, though with a tease that they could come together and bear the life together... I'm just... not thinking outside of season 11 right now okay). Both Jesse and Eileen get on-screen origin stories and their revenge on the monster that caused them, but Jesse and Cesar get to have a happy ending and drive off into the sunset because they have each other and a firm understanding of when they can stop hunting and knowing when it's all over. Sam stashed the leaflet about the retirement home in his box of special things, but as 11x19 ends as well with them still having looming work to do, they just can't think about packing it in quite yet, though the point is made in both, that this is the discussion on the table - hunter endgames.

Dean's understanding of Cesar's relationship with Jesse and the understandings they have and Cesar's read of it founded ON the revenge thing and "peace when you are done", to borrow from the road so far song, is what informs his decision not to ask them to help with fighting Amara at the end. His interpersonal arc with Cesar was much more openly muted than Sam and Jesse having the emotional encounter with the old sheriff and the very obvious links with Jesse yelling about his brother, which makes parallels that on this show can always be read from space when someone says "brother". It leads Dean to the important decision of understanding what to do about letting them go raise their horses in peace. Dean is personally connected to the side of the story about their marriage, and split off with Cesar who is just married into the revenge mission whose only connection to care about it is because of what it's doing to his husband, and not for his own sake.

Essentially, the fact they were married hunters is presented to surprise Dean (and he's seen married, heterosexual, hunters before so that question may have been answered honestly by Cesar just to the pressures of marriage in a dangerous crappy job, but seems to mean with Dean asking, wait, you can MARRY another MALE hunter what the heck i never even - ) and he's the one who asks (and since Jesse is surly and untrusting as a result of the discrimination of this town (and in both episodes understanding is presented as belief in monsters - Mildred is good because she already saw a ghost and is willing to believe... Jesse is living a metaphor where the town's intolerance is both of him being gay AND the fact he kept saying he saw a monster - the intolerance metaphor is soubled down on by the sheriff and his reaction to discovering his daughter was taken, and I hope the point of the metaphor was that the chitter monsters were how intolerant people SAW gay people *from their perspective* of it being so bad you'd disown and never talk of it etc). Cesar, the one linked to Dean more - I mean he even saved him for starters and it was Dean sent off into the woods to make first contact with him by a fortuitous phonecall, though if there was nothing going on on a higher narrative level Sam could have just have easily done that). Dean's the one split off on the side of the story about their marriage with Cesar again, and he's the one who makes the judgement call about them being allowed to go settle down and have some peace and safety together.

Cesar in basically every way does as a side-character function for Dean what Eileen does for Sam. Except the obvious second level remove here with him already being married, and the fact that Dean is also un-pairable in 11x11, hence Mildred, who by being romantically interesting to Dean (look, they watch a sunset together, you don't have to ship them or think they actually would ever - but that's a romantically coded moment and he has a big heart so it's still a Thing even if it's a go-nowhere thing. It's a thing Sam could later tease him about and Dean would blush and smile fondly about Mildred's attention even if he had no intention of hooking up with her...) kinda has the opposite but identical effect of a sexy hookup where there's no romance, just a fling. Mildred was absolutely Dean's meaningless girl of the week if you wanna be technical about her role there :P Anyway in both cases Dean just sees and experiences, and in his specifically tailored episode on this theme, he only sees an example of what he could have, not as Sam sees, someone who could very easily be that exact endgame.

Because, as Mildred says, Dean was very obviously pining for someone else.

And Dean's personal relationship and retirement introspection episode comes wedged in after 11x18, where he's just lost Cas to Amara in a sort of ridiculously painful doubling down on how *much* he's lost Cas, even in spite of Amara's presence... And soon we will get the direct testing of these rival bonds... But that's a whole other web of meta on the main arc relationship parallels which I spent all of season 11 and most of the hiatus after mired in, so I think we're good here :P

[ooobirdy]

Let go (A hurt/Comfort Hamilfam one-shot)

He was in shock.

Hamilton didn’t get fired. Hamilton got other people fired with his big mouth, but had never had it happen to himself.

The kicker? He not only got fired, he was unhirable from his less than satisfactory exit.

Don’t punch your boss square in the face, kids. It doesn’t bode well for anyone at all.

Words: 2,411 Tags: Hamilfam (including all the kids. all of them), swearing, inappropriate conversations, mentions of being fired, emotional distress at being fired, and comfort from multiple sources, John Adams is a dick, and Burr is here too Pairing: Eliza Schuyler/Alexander Hamilton (they’re married, it’s an established relationship) Alternate Universe: Modern era, the government branch officials and politicians work at a banking firm

The door shut with a resounding click. It was too quiet. All the kids were at school, and his Dearest Eliza was working. Heh, working.

Alexander ran a hand down his face, sighing heavily as he set down his briefcase on the table, shuffling from the room. It’d be hours before his family came home. It gave him time to think, to try to gather his bearings and understand what he had truly done.

He was in shock.

Hamilton didn’t get fired. Hamilton got other people fired with his big mouth, but had never had it happen to himself.

The kicker? He not only got fired, he was unhirable from his less than satisfactory exit.

Don’t punch your boss square in the face, kids. It doesn’t bode well for anyone at all.

His metaphorical pink slip weighed heavy on his mind. Maybe fast food was hiring… He needed a job to support his family. What he really needed was something that matched his banking finance, but that wasn’t coming his way anytime soon, his former employer would make damned sure of it.

Alexander flopped down at the breakfast bar, hiding his face in his hands as he shook with barely contained rage and grief at his stupid decision. It wasn’t just him he was hurting with that stupid move. It was his family. They could still live on a budget with his wife’s paycheck, but that just wouldn’t be fair to his family, especially said wife.

He had made a mistake, but was too stubborn, too prideful to admit it to anyone but himself.

The Caribbean man slid his face from his hands, sighing again. He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately.

How would Eliza even react to this news? He’d had it where they could live and still splurge if they wanted to… Would his wife even want to remain with him?

His phone buzzed in his pocket and Alexander froze, blood turning to ice, breath hitching. He stayed like that for the full minute his phone went off before finally fishing the object out of his pocket and checking who had been calling.

Aaron Burr?

Alexander called him back.

“Alexander?”

“Aaron Burr, sir?”

“I...I heard what happened. If it’s of any consolation, you have my condolences.”

Alexander scoffed, laughing mirthlessly.

“It’s just a job.”

“Which you’re probably beating yourself up about.”

“...”

“Your silence says all I need to know.”

Alexander sighed, running a hand down his face.

“You’ve only called to express pity, and as much as I appreciate it, I don’t rightly need it. I do, however, need to figure out what the hell i’m going to do to support my family..”

“Jobs aren’t that easy to find, Alexander.”

“Gee, Burr, it’s like I didn’t know that already.”

“Hey, I’m not here to be mocked, I’m just being honest.”

“Be honest elsewhere, sir.”

“Your pride is gonna be the death of us all.”

And with that, the line clicked to a close, static playing over the phone. Hamilton frowned.

“Ah, jeez…”

Setting his phone aside, Alexander paced the hallway of his empty foyer. What was he going to do? Should he apologize? Get on his knees and beg Adams, the bastard, for forgiveness? Should he shut up and let the man scorned become him? Should he immediately go a print a new resume and hope for the best? Jeez, what if he ended up a cashier again? He hadn’t been in retail work in almost ten years, he doubted he’d be able to do it flawlessly if it came to that.

That’s when it hit him.

Law school.

He had never finished being a lawyer!

Would they still take him?

Would Burr recommend him?

Hamilton thought quietly, stopping his pacing before running to his phone and dialing.

Surprisingly, Aaron picked up.

“If you’re calling to yell at me-”

“No, no, quite the contrary, sir!”

Aaron was taken aback by the suddenly chipper man. He had just gotten fired, what the hell had him so excited?

“Your mood flipped pretty easily.”

“Do you still have your lawyer buddies?”

“...Did you do something illegal?”

“No, no, I didn’t do anything like that….Yet.”

“Think of a plausible alibi if you’re gonna do something stupid.”

Alexander laughed.

“You’ve got a dry sense of humor, but it’s definitely still there after all these years.”

“Aging me up, aren’t you?”

“Face it, Burr, you’re old.”

“I’m only a year older than you.”

“I never said I wasn’t getting old. Which, for the record, I’m not.”

It was Aaron’s turn to laugh.

“Why’d you need my lawyer friends?”

Alexander smiled sheepishly on the other side of the phonecall.

“Well, you and I used to work together on cases, and I wasn’t too bad at it. I think it might help? I mean, sure, it isn’t a bank, but I can live with righting injustice and putting wrong doers in their place again.”

Aaron paused, absorbing the information.

“You know this means you can’t blow everything out of proportion, right? You have to redo your training and do as they tell you to do.”

Alexander blew a raspberry into the receiver.

“And not do childish stuff like this.”

“I’m fiiiiiiiiiine. Can they help me, or not?”

“You’re a grown ass man, Hamilton.”

“Are you saying that to my ‘fine,’ or to me asking if they can help, because either way, it works, and it’s disturbing how accurate that is.”

Aaron stifled a laugh on the other side of the phone conversation.

“You’re such a kid, remind me again how you kept the bank afloat in Washington’s wake?”

“Because I’m a fucking badass, and I knew what I was doing. Watch, it’s gonna close under Jefferson and Adams’ thumbs.”

Burr chuckled.

“Your confidence is astounding, Hamilton.”

“Hah, you say that like it hasn’t always been.”

“Just minutes prior, you were a shell of this exuberant facade.”

Alexander rolled his eyes, hmmphing.

Aaron paused.

“I’ll talk to them. I know that’s what you’ve wanted to hear, not to me rambling.”

“You weren’t rambling, Mr. Burr, sir. We were bantering.”

“Still, I apologize. I’ll talk to William, but you should get a hold of Pendleton if you want to see if he still needs a partner.”

“Oh-! I had forgotten all about poor Pendleton!”

“Isn’t he one of your best friends?”

“Yes.”

Aaron facepalmed.

“It’s a wonder you have any friends.”

Hamilton laughed.

“Hey, Aaron?”

Burr blinked.

How...Informal.

“Yes, Alexander?”

“Thank you. For everything. You’re always so succinct and persuasive. I’d botch it somehow, and I appreciate you picking up the phone even after I made it seem like I didn’t need your help. Well, i mean, i didn’t at the time, but still.”

Aaron chuckled.

“I knew you’d come back, either to yell at me, or ask for help, so I kept my phone nearby.”

“Wait- Aren’t you still at work?”

“Lunch break.”

“And you’re spending it talking to me? Geez, Aaron, go feed yourself.”

It was Aaron’s turn to scoff.

“You’re not allowed to lecture me about not eating when you probably haven’t eaten today at all.”

Alexander snickered.

“No need to get so peeved, sir.”

Aaron sighed.

“Just go call Nathaniel. I’ll get with Van Ness, and we’ll see where it goes from there.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“ No problem, Alexander.”

Burr ended the call.

Hamilton felt a little bit more at ease now that he had a plan. All that was left was to tell his wife. But first, time to binge Hell’s Kitchen now that he had free time.

---

Alexander was about ten episodes into Hell’s kitchen when his kids and wife walked through the door, confused to see him there, dressed up in his sweats and with his hair in a messy bun, not in his normal business attire, eyeing his briefcase on the table near the front door wearily.

“You’re home early, pops,” Philip said, flopping down on the couch next to his father.

Alex paused the tv, smiling, albeit strained.

“Heya, Pip, how was school?”

“It went alright. I passed a test with really high marks.”

“ Nice!”

Hamilton’s second oldest child peeked her head around the corner before taking a running start and leaping onto both her father’s, and her brother’s lap, wedging herself into a comfortable position that left both men cringing in pain.

“ANGIE, WHAT THE SHIT!”

“Language,” Alexander laughed.

“She’s squishing my dick.”

“Your dick is too tiny for me to squish, it’s practically concaved.”

Philip shoved her off his lap and onto the floor, fuming.

Alexander Jr. blinked, raising a brow at the display before asking the obvious question looming in the air.

“Dad, how was work? You’re usually not home until a couple hours after us.”

Alexander Jr’s father sighed heavily, curling in on himself.

“Go get your mother and sister, I have an announcement.”

Alex left to go get both Eliza’s, John Church wandering into the room, sipping on a caprisun that were for the younger children, but not really giving a shit otherwise.

“Sup, pops.”

John raised a brow at where Philip and Angelica were bitching at each other, pushing each other in a makeshift wrestling match. Alexander was just watching his children with a far-off look on his face. John could tell something was wrong.

Both Elizas wandered into the room, the eldest one holding her daughter’s hand.

She eyed where her two eldest children were fighting with displeasure before letting her daughter’s hand go and going over, pulling Angelica from Philip, and vice versa.

“Can you two not stop fighting for even five minutes?”

“He’s insulted cause i said he has a little dick.”

Eliza blushed deeply, covering her mouth.

“Angelica!”

Angelica laughed and Philip blushed, looking off to the side angrily.

For once, Hamilton was glad the spotlight wasn’t on him. This was far more amusing.

But it could only last for so long when his little prodigy came back into the room, toting James along with him.

The only one missing was William, but he was probably down for a nap. He was too young to understand ‘fired’ anyway.

Hamilton cleared his throat.

Everyone paused and turned to face the man, and Alexander felt hot under the scrutinizing gazes.

“I’ve called you all here for a reason...”

“Mhmm, yup, we’ve all heard this one before,” Philip said offhandedly, flinching when his father turned and glared coldly at him, actually recoiling to the other side of the couch.

“You asshole,” Angelica said sternly.

Alexander took a breath, running a hand down his face, careful of his glasses.

“As I was saying...There’s no easy way to say this, but it has to be said. I got let go from my job.”

There was a lot of collective gasps, and a sputter of disbelief from Philip, who was spewing apologies for his comment earlier, having thought his father was just going to tell a terrible dad pun.

Little Eliza crawled up into her father’s lap, staring him in the eyes.

“What are you gonna do now, daddy?”

Alexander smiled sadly.

“Daddy’s gonna go and try lawyering again.”

His youngest daughter lit up.

“Lawyering? Daddy’s gonna be a law man?”

Alexander laughed, ruffling his daughter’s dark hair.

“A lawyer, sweetheart.”

“Ooooooh.”

He chuckled, lifting his daughter up and setting her more comfortably on his lap, playing with her hair. He looked up at the rest of his family carefully, trying to gauge their reactions.

“Any questions?”

His wife raised her hand and he couldn’t help but feel more in love. That was such an innocent, dorky thing to do. He loved his teacher wife.

“Yes, love?”

“Why were you let go?”

“I, uh- They didn’t need me at the firm anymore…”

The eldest Eliza looked upset.

“They just let you go out of the blue? That’s horrible!”

Alexander felt a sharp stinging in his chest and sighed, setting his daughter down before getting up and kissing his wife’s cheek, whispering in her ear.

“I’ll explain more tonight, love.”

Philip raised a brow.

“Please don’t use dad getting fired as foreplay.”

His mother balked.

“Philip James Hamilton!”

Alexander was bright red at this point, praying to anybody who would listen that his younger kids didn’t ask what foreplay was.

He considered himself lucky when they brushed to a new topic completely.

---

As they were getting ready for bed, Eliza and Alexander fluffed the pillows and made the duvet, talking aimlessly, just trying to get things about their day out in the open. Eliza’s students had painted flowers.

“They were so lovely, too. They’re very talented kids.”

“I bet,” Alexander replied, changing into his sleep clothes, tossing his others in the hamper and letting his hair down from its messy bun.

Eliza shimmied out of her dress and slipped on her nightgown, trying her hair up and stretching, walking over to the light and flipping it off before walking back to the bed and slipping in. She snuggled into the covers as she waited for her husband to do the same.

He didn’t.

She frowned and sat back up, raising a brow at him in the dark room as her eyes adjusted and she spotted him waiting on the end of the bed, lost in thought.

“Alexander?”

He jolted from his thoughts.

“S-Sorry, I was just thinking.”

“About what, love?”

Alexander sighed, turning to face his wife in the dark room.

“I ran that firm under Washington for years..But then Adams takes over, calls me undeserving, and with the help of Jefferson, the fucker, dethrones me completely..”

Eliza frowned, crawling back out from under the covers and padding over to her husband, sitting beside him and running a hand soothingly over his back.

“Come to bed, sleep it off, love.”

“I punched him.”

Eliza paused.

“What?”

“He called me a creole bastard. So I socked the bastard in the fucking face.”

Eliza sighed, leaning over and kissing her husband.

“Defend your honor in a way that doesn’t hurt someone.”

“He had it coming!”

"You're strong and capable of picking yourself back up even after this, and that's what really matters. They lost a valuable person at the firm today."

Alexander took his wife’s hand.

“And I’d do it again if I could.”

Eliza rolled her eyes, but smiled and kissed Alexander’s forehead.

“Come back to bed, that would be enough.”

And for once, Alexander indulged her.

They’d work through this later, but for now it was time to sleep.

[themostmagnificentgoatee]

I finally found out what it is about Life is Strange that really resonates with me on such a deep level and draws me back to it in a way that other games may have managed, but not truly mastered.

From the very beginning, the game presents us with intricate relationships that obviously have much more depth than the mere fraction that we actually get to see. Don’t EVER tell me what to do. I’m so SICK of people trying to control me! Even the people that are detestable in the worst ways, demonstrating their violent tendencies openly, without them being swept under the rug, have something about them that evoke both pity and nostalgia, even if one of those things are so much bigger than the other when it comes to some characters.

And the game goes on, flaunting the flawed characters and all of their issues, as well as drawing the player deeper into it as the submersion works its magic. Chloe Price roars back into the life of Max Caulfield with screeching tires and it’s just so painfully obvious that between these two young women, who are still so young and feel both invincible and breakable at the same time, that there are some remnants of an old relationship that the world got in the way of. It just screams of hurt and a mutual lack of communication and understanding that was ultimately down to rotten luck and bad chance. Max?! Chloe?! Just those two words to each other and what do you know, despite one of them having been absent for five years and the other having undergone such a dramatic change that’s its bordering on comical, it took them around four seconds to recognize one another.

And we’re treated to a game of five episodes that feel simultaneously appropriately long and far too short, with a plot that’s overshadowed by a relationship that quickly falls back into what we can all recognize as an old dynamic that’s just been waiting to resurface. From the get-go it’s just so clear that Max and Chloe are so right for each other, even if they’ve both made mistakes and hurt each other and been stubborn and hard-headed and said and done the wrong things at the worst possible times. They’re still doing things they’d get in trouble for, like trespassing and smoking and whatnot. However, there are the better things too, like dancing in a room with the smoke of a cigarette filling the air with the clicking of a camera going off from the sidelines and goofing off in a junkyard.

There are so many horrible things in this game. There’s a girl who decides that the only way to get out of the living nightmare that she can’t seem to wake up from is to put herself to sleep, there’s a girl with a mother undergoing treatments at the hospital, there’s mental illness, drugs, PTSD, abuse of authority, violence, anger and hurt stemming from much more than the brief period of time we’re privileged enough to get to see.

But to me, that only makes the relationship between Max and Chloe that much more extraordinary, their bright moments of innocence that much more appreciable.

And then, there’s the ending. At its release, there was an outcry from the fanbase, universal disappointment in the two choices that glossed over all that we’d seen, done and gotten attached to.

But in my mind, these two endings were so tragically beautiful, with so many things and themes coming full-circle that I wouldn’t be able to tell you which of the two final paths is my favorite even if I wanted to make that choice.

Perhaps one day I’ll make a longer post about these two endings, but for now, here is my summary; Sacrificing Arcadia Bay? Chloe Elizabeth Price got the worst cards dealt to her when her father died, her best friend moved away, her grades plummeted and her new whirlwind-bestie suddenly up and disappeared, something that had to feel horribly familiar by that point. But suddenly, there’s a person who stomps back into her life and shouts NO! No, you’ve suffered enough. This could be the time for a selfless, heroic, faceless act, but I won’t make that choice. I am putting you first. I will not repeat my mistakes. I will not give you up again. I will hold on. I will not give up on you. I am putting you first. Fuck that! No way! You are my number one priority now. You are all that matters to me. To me, this choice shifts the entire focus of this game to Chloe. It effectively makes it all her story. The story of hurt feelings and bad choices and the worst luck in the world, yes, but also love, perseverance, courage and, most importantly, friendship. And sacrificing Chloe? At this time there is an ongoing police/faculty investigation but Max’s heroism is undisputed. This, in contrast to the alternative choice, makes the story belong to Max. A hipster with a polaroid camera was suddenly shoved into the spotlight and instead of falling flat on her face, she waded through psychopaths, deaths and sacrifices and came into her own and became a brilliant young woman with a story of epic proportions. Max Caulfield saved an entire town, her home, from a tornado, and she did it all with nothing but a camera, the best sidekick she could have ever asked for and some minor powers over space, time and reality. It hurt like hell doing all that. It’s painful and gritty and not happy at all. But then a blue butterfly lands on the coffin. And there’s a golden necklace in the shape of a doe around Max’s neck. Wherever I end up after this... in whatever reality... all those moments between us were real, and they'll always be ours.

At my first school, I was bullied. My classmates would gang up on me, yell at me and I’d call my mom after a few short hours at school, sobbing and begging to go home, and I’d do that nearly every day of every week when the bullying and ostracizing was at its zenith. I had a teacher there. She was a decent teacher, a tad bit eccentric, but good enough. But then, suddenly, she wasn’t. She flat out told my parents that I would have to “dumb myself down”, because my skills in reading and spelling and general schoolwork was bringing down the confidence of my classmates. I also had a friend. She had red curls, glasses and a wide, white smile. We were different, silly and sometimes, very far apart in every way. But then, me and my family moved to another city because I was being bullied so much and my mental state was so wrecked my parents actually feared that I would take my own life. And my second school no doubt saved my life. The teachers were great. My friends were great. I was great. Things couldn’t be better. A new girl came to that school. Her hair was yellow and her laughter was dorky and her jokes were loud and sometimes stupid. I loved her so much. I’d visit her every week, sleep at her place, play with her dog and she’d come visit me and we’d laugh and laugh and laugh and oh, I loved her so much that it was almost painful. But then, a new girl started too. She was nice. A bit awkward. Much more quiet than me. But she and that girl that I felt outshone the sun hit it off from her first day and they were attached at the hips after that. I never hated any of them. How could I? I retreated. The visits stopped. Suddenly, me and my best friend that I’d longed to find every day of my life barely spoke once a month. I wasn’t angry, mind you. Just disappointed, sad and a little bit hurt. I haven’t spoken to any of them for years now. A new girl then started in that wonderful class and I decided to try again. The desire for a best friend, for weekly weekend visits, ice cream on the porch, silly photographs and someone who tried for me instead of the other way around, that was so strong and still is. I took her out for lunch, but she told me she never ate takeaway. Not in a bad way, just as a matter of fact. She grew close to another small circle of my friends. We rarely talked after that, but we had a decent relationship. Just not particularly close. I decided I needed more skills at socializing. I changed school again, despite that second one being the best place I’ve still yet to be. The third one was grand, impressive, with three trips to other countries in just one year. I lived on that school and the other five girls in my house were colorful, fun, supportive, but they were still down-to-earth. We still talk, but there have been no phonecalls, no promises to keep in touch, no casual ‘I love you’s. Now, I’m at my fourth school and I just can’t be bothered to try anymore. I’m too old, too withdrawn, too snappish and too strange for anyone to try now. I can’t see the point of relentlessly pursuing a heartfelt relationship if I’m the only one pursuing it. That’s the problem that’s always haunted me, that I expect that desperate desire for a friend who loves me, who would put me first, to be mutual.     Mind you, I have a best friend. I’ve never met her, but I know that she exists. I do love her, but it’s a distant love. I’ve only ever written to her. She’s an ocean away from me. There have been no photos, no laughter, no hugs, but I don’t blame her. I blame me. After all, she deserves better.

No matter how you twist and turn it, Long Max Silver and Captain Bluebeard will always be Max and Chloe, even when they’re apart. There is absolutely no doubt that they love each other, that they are such a big part of each other’s lives that they’re willing to risk and sacrifice ridiculous things for the other. That instant connection, that easy relationship that they fall back into the same day of their reunion is one that I’ve only ever been able to dream of and oh, how I do.

That’s what really resonates with me on such a deep level and draws me back to it in a way that no other game has done.