#there's no way you really have adhd you're using other peoples' struggles to justify being a shitty person

[fakemagicjaye]

I HAVE FIVE PAGES. LEFT. TO DRAW.

[icanseethefuture333]

omg hi, can u do a reading on doja cat please... why whyy was she in those racial in*el chatrooms 😭 do u think she was bullied for being black/biracial when she was younger and bc of her dad not being present or something? ugh and her groomer bf. ugh crazy bc she has so much potential and talent to be even bigger imo. ugh doja 😭😭

This is such a good question because I was just thinking about how much I miss Doja's Hot Pink era 🤔 that was such an exciting time to witness as a fan! Her Scarlet era would of been much more enjoyable for me if she wasn't involved in so many controversies. I used to be a huge fan of her, but Doja's atttiude lately is just plain nasty. To answer your question about my opinion and everything. I believe Doja grew up in the suburbs and most poc can tell you that living in predominantly white spaces it is very racist and you will encounter microaggressions on a daily basis. Doja said that in her youth she didn't really have many friends and her brother would tease her for it. So I believe her feeling the need to turn to the internet and everything for finding a safe space would make sense? People also forget to realize that Doja isn't just a black/biracial girl, she is also neurodivergent. When you're black, alt, queer, have adhd/autism, etc. People are gonna perceive you as "weird" or you don't "belong". So I do think her having a absent father + living around mostly white people could of greatly affected Doja's self asteem. However, I don't believe her past justifies her current actions to this day. I won't dive too deep into someone's personal trauma because it's not my place and it's not something I personally like to do because not only does it make me uncomfortable but it's also unethical and immoral, but I can do my best to do a reading on why... Doja is the way she is.

Doja Cat behind the scenes: Amala

Personality

I think the small bits of her we see on live is really how she as a person behind closed doors. When she's really enjoying herself and being creative, is just how she's always been. Doja could be a "geek" or a "nerd". She has niche little interests that are special to her and gets so excited to talk about it. So for example, if you mentioned an anime she's watching, Doja would like light up like a kid in a candy store. Another thing is I feel like her spirit in general is very youthful? She does have a quirky personality but it's not as extroverted as when she is "Doja". Amala is more of an introvert, in fact, I believe her being in public spaces makes her feel a lot of pressure. Doja is really a "all bark no bite" type of person. Being a troll online gives her the ability to do the stuff she's not confident to do in person. She doesn't really know how to set boundaries as well in person than she does online. "People pleaser". It's really hard for Doja to say no or not entertain people. I also feel like when she is "Doja" her behavior is crazy, unfiltered, blunt, wild, and the life of the party. She becomes a mean girl from a 2000s movie come to life but more unhinged. As Amala though, it's the other way around. She's the nerd and is the one who hopes to impresse all the other "cool kids", even her character Doja. I feel like she actually gets embarrassed sometimes by the things she does for attention. "Why did I say that? Why did I do that?" When it comes being alone and in her own space, it's something she's used to. I genuinely don't even think she has like a close friend or if she does its not that many friends she has. Doja really only has her pets for comfort, security, and protection. I feel that Doja has a lot of inner child wounds that she needs to heal from because there is a lack of balance between this character she portrays herself as and who she really is behind the scenes. I believe it could be causing her some sort of identity complex.

Shy

Introverted

Creative

Youthful

Struggles to set boundaries

Falls into peer pressure easily

Has trouble fitting in or making genuine connections with others

Enjoys artistic hobbies such as painting, makeup, & music

Pets or animals are significant to her, they provide a healing presence

Identity complex issues

Is only aware of her self attributes but not her self concept (I.E: Knows her name, job, likes, dislikes, etc, but does not know what her morals or values are)

Career

The contract she signed was not beneficial to her at all, so Doja Cat is pretty much stuck with it until it is over. Doja Cat began her music career in 2014 and didn't become famous until 2019. So it took a lot of determination and sleepless nights for her to get to the top. She suffered a great deal of anxiety during this time and was over worked by her label, which has caused her to have mental breakdowns in the process. Doja's rise to fame was inevitable due to her ability to portray a duality of being sweet but also spunky. I believe her label wanted her to have this "ingenue" persona, which did attract a lot of money and appealed to a younger fanbase. Doja was sick of this though and felt like her dreams were starting to slip away from her. Doja enjoyed this era and seeing the fruits of her labor come intro fruition, but she knew if she continued to play the role of a "good girl" she would soon fade in with the other female artists in the industry. "I am a grown ass woman and I am not a little girl anymore!". Doja's "Scarlet" era was to create drastic change for herself and others around, it was uncomfortable, but was necessary in her eyes. She feels more confident, mature, and sexy with this new look of hers and does not care if it is received well or not. Doja could have more creative control in career now.

Love life

Doja's song "Addiction" could be an accurate description of her love life. I feel like she suffered from a lot of disappointment and codependency is a pattern within her relationships. Her partners become a "coping method" for her and it's how Doja escapes from the world. I'm almost getting she may suffer past trauma (possible symptoms of PTSD). She could experiences age regression in certain aspects, which unfortunately makes Doja fall victim to abusive or toxic partners. She was vulnerable and has been taken advantage of in her relationships, as well as having her heart getting broken many times. Doja also makes a lot of the wrong decisions whenever she does attract a healthy partnership because of her fear of being hurt or being attached to the wrong person. Self sabotage is a big factor. I also actually don't believe the man she is dating now will be the person she will be with long term. He is more so a reflection of her trauma and she just has been attracting the same person in different fonts. Doja could potentially feel torn between two people she's dated or will be dating. One person is from her past that she rejected and one will be someone new. The person from her past misses her deeply and wishes they could start over. This will be a shock to Doja and not something she will be expecting. They will dote on her and put in a lot of effort to make her happy. They both share similar wounds regarding their parents and could have fear of an abandonment. With this person, Doja could find herself feeling very loving to her partner and wanting to never leave them. She desires to do right by this person and make them happy. I could see her having a baby with them as well, possibly a baby boy? Doja will discover a part of herself that is more nurturing and emotional. They could be a divine counterpart or they will cause a spiritual awakening for her.

Tinychat rumors

So this is silly... but Doja was in those chatrooms because she liked the attention and praise she got lol 💀. People would always praise her and give her compliments, so that's mostly why she was present. I also think Doja Cat was like someone's "discord kitten" if that makes sense 🤣? She had a big crush on someone there (Doja could of even wrote "cyber sex" about them?), but I don't actually believe all of the people in these chatrooms were necessarily racist (which I remember watching videos about this when it happened and Doja wasn't actually the only poc there, there was also a few other poc present, but the one where she was only talking to white people went viral). So were there racists? Yes. Was there incels? Yes. Was that her intention to talk all of these people though? No. She was just crushing on one specific peeson and they would invite her to these chatrooms who were supposedly friends of theirs. So Doja would just hang around to fit in and she has a bad habit of doing shit for validation from others. Which consequently led to the video of her saying the n slur in the chatroom going viral. Mentally I feel she was overwhelmed during this time and was regressing? She literally would behave like a kitten for this person and could tell they were getting bored of her. Now the person Doja crushed on (who I feel was most likely a admin or mod) didn't spew hatred or anything of those things, but he wouldn't speak up to defend any of the poc in those chatrooms. So that would mean yes, they are racist by default because they allowed it to happen. Doja got special treatment in comparison to others though because 1. She was famous 2. The person's "crush" (more like a pet I should say...). As far as it goes for how Doja was treating other poc, she was ignorant about a lot of comments she made and regrets it, she mostly knew stereotypes but didn't actually have the proper knowledge of what's true for other poc (I got a whiff of a stinky scent and I believe that's a sign for her knowing her behavior was really "shitty" and knows that her not knowing better is a bullshit excuse 😭). People literally told her engaging in these chatrooms would be bad for her image and Doja was just really in her delulu phase before shit got real. I feel like someone even came to her house uninvited??? and was like literally stalking her (how scary!). That was when she realized shit got real and it was not a cute little fantasy anymore. Her life could of been in really danger at one point. It took a lot for her PR team to fix this situation and make sure she didn't get canceled or become a flop overnight, as well as having to hire extra security for her.

[livixbobbiex]

I posted 99 times in 2022

That's 75 more posts than 2021!

20 posts created (20%)

79 posts reblogged (80%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@somecunttookmyurl

@kingburu

@kazliin

@kittmoon

I tagged 20 of my posts in 2022

#actually adhd - 8 posts

#adhd - 8 posts

#neurodiversity - 6 posts

#neurodivergent - 6 posts

#percy jackson - 3 posts

#pjo - 3 posts

#totk - 2 posts

#politics - 2 posts

#uk - 2 posts

#botw2 - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 78 characters

#personally i think the best approach is to stop using neurodivergent so often?

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

It's finally time for the Hyrule water theory

So this comes from an observation I made during last year's trailer

If you're anything like me and cheesed the dungeon with Zora armour, you'll remember there's a LOT of water around this castle. In fact, you can kind of see it a bit in the trailer before the entire thing gets lifted out of the air.

See the full post

437 notes - Posted September 13, 2022

#4

People who critique fanfiction lines such as "she let out the breath she didn't know she was holding" clearly aren't ADHD because that's the daily experience chief.

534 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

#3

The other side of ADHD

So one thing I don't see people talk about as much is the other side of focus issues. Like, I kind of hate that it's even called Attention Deficit because I don't think it's fully accurate. It's more like, attention meter gone haywire.

The best way to describe it is like a roleplay video game stat. Imagine the average neurotypical person has focus values in the range of about 4-6 points. For me, at random, my stats will flick between like 2 and 8. Sometimes in the space of hours.

In real terms, this results in:

Hyperfocus where I can write a 3000 word essay in one sitting; no breaks, no moving

Revolving fixations, never lost just reignited when I remember them. What follows is days of intense obsession

Being actively early for everything because of waiting mode

In the right conditions, crazy fast comprehension and reaction speeds

Tuning into other people's conversations in crowded spaces

At times, hypersensivity. Especially when it comes to hearing and smell

Ability to remember really random events in almost photographic detail. Like, sometimes I will have an easier time remembering some really mundane conversation from 3 years ago verbatim than what i did literally that morning

Same goes for random trivia. I still know the exact date the war of the roses ended, have since I was 9. I'm especially good with song lyrics

Don't get me wrong, I still struggle a lot and the lacking focus is more common. The frustrating part is that I have no control over when I'm able to do these things (aside from hyperfocus, I can kind of induce that - maybe I'll make a post about that) so it's rarely actually useful.

But yeah, I feel like it's a less spoken about portion of ADHD, closest it gets to the 'superpower' thing honestly.

I'll also note that, I'm personally unsure, but it might be that this isn't applicable to inattentive presentation ADHD. Would be curious to hear from y'all. I'm combined presentation but to me it seems more like it comes from the hyper side.

573 notes - Posted June 9, 2022

#2

I love how much we're all talking about neurodivergence here and all but let's all remember that neurodivergent is not ADHD/Autism only.

I've seen a lot of people using those expressions interchangeably and, whilst those are the most common conditions, neurodivergent is a wider label than that.

1,199 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

12 ADHD hacks that are actually helpful

Record EVERYTHING in your phone's calendar app the moment you find out about it. Mine gives me an alarm automatically before the calendar time - has saved my ass many times.

Get a little bowl or equivalent for objects like keys. That's now your key bowl. You will not lose them ever again.

Write down deadlines as early before they're actually due as you can justify. My ADHD ass never remembers the actual due date. I get all of the stress fuelled productivity with none of the actual danger.

Handwrite notes. I have no idea why, but the process of pen and paper makes me remember things much better.

If you have to be somewhere like class or work, set aside time to go for a walk first. Honestly would be great all days, but I can't even make myself do this, so it's good if you have to be out anyway (and maybe would have been in waiting mode). Burning off energy helps my brain.

When retrieving laundry (ie its dry and you have to fold it), dump it all out in the most inconvenient place possible. I like the bed. It forces me to deal with it, rather than letting it sit there.

Turn on subtitles when you watch anything - even YouTube and live TV. I didn't realise how lifechanging this was until last year.

The Breath of the Wild soundtrack is weirdly the best background music ever. It's the perfect level of stimulating without distracting

Use text to speech for long walls of text. It's great.

Did I mention phone alarms? I use it for everything - ie when I know I might hyperfocus on something for too long.

There's literally no obligation to eat 3 meals at set times. If eating snacks throughout the day works better for you, then do that. There's also no shame in things like pre chopped fruit/veggies.

I struggle with transitions sometimes. A way around this is keeping a ton of water next to me. When I get frustrated about being stuck, I just drink as much water as I can. Eventually, this means I have to pee, and physically cannot ignore it. The act of going to the bathroom is sometimes enough to change activity.

Disclaimer that this is my own experience with ADHD, which may be totally different to someone else's. But hey, these are some things I've always found useful.

EDIT because this has a lot of reblogs wow! Please feel free to share even if you're a different type of neurodiverse, or even straight up neurotypical. At the end of the day most of these are focus/executive dysfunction tips, and I'm glad they're useful no matter what your situation is!

6,741 notes - Posted May 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[j-exclamationmark-l]

Hi, i found your post about the phrase-triggered PTSD through the Kiryu autism tag (i recently found out i have autism and thats thanks to finishing the yakuza series and realising people HC kiryu as autistic which is how i went onto be diagnosed, although i dont see it as a diagnosis i see autism in terms of neurodivergency but this is a tangent) I don't presume to fully understand your struggles, but I just want to say you're not alone and you don't deserve this. I know I'm just a stranger on the internet, but familial trauma is something I struggle with as well, where i've had my fair share of being emotionally abused for being weird and different (i also have adhd, that was diagnosed last year, i take medication and stuff its neat). You deserve much better, and what she is doing to you is akin to abuse, she is purposely putting you in harm's way and you should absolutely report her, like the others in the comments of your post have probably said.

I do not want to step out of line but this next bit comes from a place of personal experience and from what i understood from your message: she is intentionally inflicting pain on you because she is engaging in power play. she is deeply insecure and muddled and confused by her own emotional problems (also probably because of autism given that her son has asd/aspergers and that's highly genetic) and she's formed some highly maladaptive behaviours because of this. however, this neither justifies her actions, nor am i asking you to forgive her. instead, you should not avoid her.

i know this sounds counter intuitive, and again this is just from my experience, and i dont claim to think it'll work for everyone. but avoidance would be playing into her power play, and from what i can understand you dont want to engage in it, you just want to exist and be at peace. in fact, you shouldnt avoid anyone who tries to hurt you, they do not have your best interests at heart. power play is never beneficial and i have never seen it be used to help people or to propagate kindness. (ive heard BDSM is a healthy outlet for power play but that requires a lot of trust and people outside that context generally dont give you a safeword).

I cant offer a simple alternative to avoidance, but i can say that if either she doesnt matter to you or power play doesnt matter to you, then it'll be a lot easier to discount her words. you'll find that when she uses triggering phrases, it has less of an impact coming from her, just because you have the knowledge that she is not someone who wants the best for you, nor is she someone who loves you.

and i know this is even harder, but never stop being compassionate and understanding, from what i can tell you're an incredibly empathetic and understanding person. do not change that about yourself, and im confident that as long as you are sure of who you are, you'll get through anything. i think i'll end my unsolicited ramble there, and i hope to have been some kind of help. if you ever need to, please feel free to dm me. if you feel like this advice doesnt apply to you, you can discount it. either way im rooting for you and im confident you can get through this.

Hello and thank you so much for your words of support. It really means a lot!

As for the terrible coworker, she actually got fired not long after I made those posts because, surprise, she wasn't just awful to me, she was awful to everyone. I have the satisfaction of knowing I outlived her at the company ^^

And thank you once more ^^

[ganymedesclock]

I think you're too reductive in your defence of Iverson. You treat his lecture as an isolated incident. However it's pretty heavily implied, if not outright stated, that Lance getting shit for being Great Pilot Keith's replacement was something he had to deal with on the regular at the Garrison. Lance is sensitive, but he's not the type of person to develop a complex off of literally one incident. And as a pattern of behaviour, what Iverson did was totally uncalled for. (1/2)

(2/2) Do I think Iverson was a demon out to ruin precious baby Lance's life? No. He probably wasn't thinking at all, except that he was frustrated over losing his prodigies Shiro and Keith. But that doesn't make attacking someone like that productive. The Garrison is a school, not a boot camp, and a competent teacher would know his students' limits better than that.

And I would argue that you’re being quite reductive here, on many grounds: assuming that Lance’s insecurity, for example, is something he specifically developed from Iverson and nothing else in his life.

Lance comes from a big, loving, seemingly highly supportive family but especially if he’s a middle child it’s quite possible that Lance has felt outshined. That he needs to prove himself somehow. That love is sometimes something he has to reach for or try to get attention because his adoring parents who mean so much to him also have a lot of other kids making bids on their attention.

Spoken personally, as someone who sees a lot of myself in Lance, especially that sense of insecurity, that’s a strange weed that can sprout up even in wonderful family environments that you wouldn’t think would create something like that. Lance might’ve been a really talented and praised person as a child but now, older, feels like he’s lost that somewhere along the way. He might be quite intelligent but has been held back by things- we don’t know how and when he developed the ability to speak English and while he has impressive fluency now, he might not always have. 

He might have something like dyslexia or ADHD or, hell, both. With or without those factors, we know that he does slip words (“That’s one thousand plus ten” when he meant to say times, and s2e5 seemingly missing the word “hypothesis”) and tends to react defensively when called on it. If Lance has had any kind of academic struggles, especially if it’s something that might be considered obvious or easy- you have a perfect recipe for a thread of defensiveness and insecurity. Which he shows. 

I do think Iverson played a part in it, and, I do not think it was an isolated incident. Heck, I’d actually fight the insinuation that Iverson was just frustrated that his golden boys didn’t pan out- because he didn’t “lose” Shiro, as far as he knows Shiro went out in a catastrophic accident and they’re unable to retrieve his body. Consider how real-world astronaut deaths are often handled- how much they’re remembered. Remember Iverson was one of the people personally in the tent talking to Shiro trying to see how lucid he was.

I think that both Lance and Keith suffered, in part, because Iverson was driving people as hard as he possibly could as his own piece of unhealthy grief over Kerberos. Our first warning Pidge had an emotional tie to it was the way that she exploded when Iverson brought it up but, while Lance immediately distracted him- Iverson blew up right back. Heck, the fact that Lance immediately tried to derail that conversation would suggest that Kerberos isn’t just a sore topic for Pidge- but it’s a sore topic for Iverson even if he brings it up. 

Which would suggest kind of an interesting tangle of sentiments going on there- and, yeah, Iverson carries himself like someone who has military history. I would not be surprised at all if he has some warped ideas about strength and perfection and “tough love”. Clearly, he’s not right about everything and a perfectly justified authority figure- if he was, Keith would not have exploded in a way heavily implied to have been personal to Iverson.

See, Keith- we know him. Keith tends to explode either related to his trauma, or because of something he’s been stewing over for a long time. Losing Shiro alone would not turn Keith into a powder keg- someone had to have mashed his buttons first, and we don’t know it was Iverson, but Iverson’s kind of trying to deal with Kerberos by punching himself repeatedly in the wound and taking his students along for the ride. 

It feels like the attitude he’s taken is that Kerberos was a failure in discipline, but not that it was Shiro’s fault, but, his own, for not suitably drilling out those “mental mistakes” so now he doesn’t want to take anything but perfection- and if they crack under the pressure then, well, good thing he got them out of the program, that kind of thing would’ve gotten them killed out there.

My point was never that Iverson’s done no harm. My point was that Iverson is probably not exclusively responsible for ruining Lance’s life, and he is not Lance’s personal demon. If nothing else, Iverson does not plain have the personal time to single out one student out of a fairly large facility and decide he’s going to give them hell.

Is he a contributing factor? Oh hell yes, but what we have here is a largely reasonable person trying to do good with as little information as he has, and he’s pretty dang clearly not entirely wrong, because, again, one of the writers personally attached his surname onto this character. I doubt they’d do that for, say, Zarkon.

My point is, Iverson is no more evil than Allura turning a cold shoulder on Keith late in season 2. Feelings were hurt. I do not say that lightly- Iverson was an instructor with a clear position of authority and made himself someone Lance did not feel comfortable directly contradicting or leaving to chew out Pidge. Clearly, Lance’s relationship with Iverson as an authority figure is much worse than his relationship with, say, Shiro.

But deciding, with as relatively little as we know about Lance, that Iverson is singlehandedly responsible for Lance’s insecurity, is exactly the kind of thing I’m talking about. Because I’ll agree with you, I don’t think that came from an isolated incident, and I really, really doubt Lance has been at the Garrison long enough for Iverson to have a formative influence on his personality. I think the insecurity was there. I just think Iverson was bad for it.

If a character has a problem, especially if it’s their main problem, it probably does not have a singular root cause. Lance probably does not have deep-held personal insecurity because in space school one guy yelled at him a lot. Iverson’s not the only teacher, and in other areas, Lance is not particularly afraid to potentially draw his ire. Heck, Lance’s initial messing around in the simulator was done under Iverson’s eye.

This does not tell us Iverson is someone Lance dreads ever encountering.

It’s also quite a reach to assume that somehow despite not knowing 90% of Lance’s pre-Garrison life except that he’s from Cuba, has a big family, a good relationship with his mom, and seems to love water, clearly the only possible thing that could’ve made Lance insecure is Iverson. It had to be all his fault.

This is what I mean by scapegoating issues. Especially because, as I mention, I recognize a lot of Lance’s insecurity in myself, and, in my case? I never knew an Iverson for any long stretch of my life. Lance did, and it sure didn’t do his existing issues any favor, but- Iverson was a contributing factor, not the disease.

TL;DR: Iverson is a flawed person who was not a saint to Lance. He is allowed to be flawed without being personally responsible for Lance’s issues, because that narrative sets it up that Lance was a Defenseless Victim Of A Mean Person rather than... that Lance could possibly have elements of his situation and life that could shape him towards being the person he was at the beginning of the show.