#there's this friend of mine. i kind of like him but also not really. we talk a lot. im literally obsessed with his dog

[astronicht]

The thing is, I love people so much. My weird rude neighbours! People I’ll never meet. Very many dead people I’ll never meet, actually, but I read a manuscript they wrote once and saw where they made mistakes or gave up on putting in diacritics or got overexcited. Kids who doodle sailboats places. Baby crying on the subway. Local tiny old lady who uses a stroller as a walker and orders beer at the cafe. Whoever sang this Cantopop I’m listening to. Guy who lives in the flat directly across the narrow street from mine who also opens his windows in thunderstorms. My brother who I rarely talk to. My high school ex boyfriend who really fucked me up bad and I fucked him up bad and now I’m a lesbian and we talk again and he has always been one of my favourite people. My mom. Probably your mom. People who play sports I’ve never heard of. The preteens with the probably Trumper moms who wake up at 3:45am to practice figure skating before school; their moms used to bring me Starbucks. Every baby I’ve ever held. My conservative cousins. My baby queer cousins. The couple who used to take me in during the summer so I could au pair for them, who I haven’t reconnected with because 15 years ago the mother who treated me like her own kid told me about how lesbians frighten her. The lesbian I hooked up with before I left California who lay on my chest in the dry heat and told me quiet things about what she’d wanted, when she was a teenager. People who write books. People who say where they were when they read fanfiction in the comments. People who write sea chanties but like just for YouTube recordings with friends. My kind Oakland coworker with the strong weed. People who play video games while someone else watches. The nuns by my old university who kept roses. The Chinese wait staff at the place by my own university who gave me sunflower seeds and baiju. The people who shoot off their guns on New Years in Oakland and also the rural Midwest. People who let me into their houses on short notice and sit me down and make me a drink. People with onion peel on their kitchen floor. Whoever owned those horses. I love you, I love you.

[mother-of-houseplants-2]

i don’t wish i was catholic but i wish i knew more about catholicism/christianity for the sole purpose of being slightly more insane about lapsed-catholic gallaghers

[nuclearanomaly]

Do you take returns?

What if I went insane an posted old writing just because [Modern | Bookshop AU. | wc 1695 ]

The bell above the door tinkled softly, just loud enough to be heard over the quiet murmur of the radio drifting through the small used bookstore. From the back of the shop Ninira couldn’t see the door or the potential customer who entered, despite the fact that she was currently poised atop a stepladder. The filled shelves and other haphazard stacks of books created a series of walls between her and the store’s entrance. 

“Good afternoon!” She called blindly, heaving a particularly hefty book into its new place on the shelf. She’d been organizing all day, though that wasn’t anything new. Since taking ownership of the shop she’d been organizing it. Slowly making her way through the mountains of books and attempting to place them in a semblance of order, something that customers could, at the very least, browse without confusion. It had turned out to be a monumental task, but it at least kept her busy since the customers that came to her small used book store were few and far between. 

“Afternoon.” The reply that came was smooth, refined, and unlike anything she’d heard in her shop before. She knew the usual customers, the grunts of old men, the cooing voices elderly women, and the ramblings of the regulars; this was none of them. Cautiously, and curiously, she climbed down from her stool and crept towards the front of the store. 

The voice belonged to a man. Even with his back half to her, and she only just peeking out from behind one of the store shelves, she was sure that he was perhaps one of the most stunning men she’d ever seen. He was undoubtedly the most beautiful man that had ever set foot inside her dusty little store. She watched as he browsed one of the bookshelves casually, hands clasped behind his back, his raven hair catching in the late afternoon sun that was just starting to shine in through the front window. He radiated refinement from his posture to his clothes and Ninira’s initial feelings of awe were slowly replaced with suspicion. He looked as though he could afford the whole store, what need would he have for a dusty used novel. 

He may be the prettiest but he was not the first of his type to enter her store. Usually they were sleazier than him. Sauntering in and trying to bully a price out of her for the shop on the up and coming street. Prime real estate they called it. Not for sale was what she called it. 

Ducking back behind the shelf she took a breath, preparing herself for the roundabout conversations that were to come, before stepping out beside the front desk. “Are you looking for something in particular today?” She asked in her best customer service voice. 

The man turned his gaze drifting down to her and his eyes a shocking blue. He smiled warmly and Ninira once again had to firmly remind herself that there was no way this man had any good intentions.

“Browsing mostly, though perhaps you can help me… I’m looking for a gift for a friend.”

Ninira blinked. That was the last thing she had expected. Was he in fact genuine? “O—oh, of course!” She fumbled, suddenly aware, under his gaze, that the last lot of books she had been sorting had left large dusty streaks on her shirt. She hastily brushed at them. “What kind of book were you looking for?” 

He gave his chin a thoughtful tap, “they’re… an artist so to speak, so something along those lines.” 

“I have a display of art books in the front currently, if you would like to look at those.” She hesitated before adding, “they’re probably the nicest ones I have in stock at the moment.” It was the truth, they were fine collections of traditional Hingan art, yet she was reluctant to sell them. For very foolish reasons since her display had not enticed the buyer she had hoped for despite having it set up in the front window for a couple weeks now.

Her customer’s smile deepened to something akin to a smirk. “No... I saw those and don’t think they’ll suit his tastes. Do you have anything different?”

Ninira’s suspicions returned. He was amused by her offer? She frowned slightly, hoping it looked more contemplative than annoyed. He was playing her after all... He’d buy a book in good faith; or more likely watch as she struggled and failed to find the perfect book. Then make some comment about how she should give up on the store. Well he could try. 

Ninira turned and started down one of the cluttered aisles. “The other art books are back here.” Fortunately she hadn’t moved them much since she’d dug through them all to make the window display.

She weaved her way around haphazard stacks, books unable to fit on the already full shelves before stopping beside an overflowing shelf, and an open box filled with excess books. “Here…” she gestured to the box, “sorry for the mess.”

He smiled that warm smile and knelt to look through the box. “It seems like you’re in the process of moving things around here.” 

“Yes. I’m trying to have less of this.” She gestured to the general clutter surrounding them, unsure why she was telling this in the first place. “And more something that someone could navigate on their own.”

“A wise idea for a business. Do you not have help?” 

Ninira sensed the warning flags once more. “No… But I make do.”

“That’s a big job to tackle alone— ah.”

Ninira watched, baffled, as he pulled a book titled How to Draw Action Anime and Manga from the depths of the box. His devious smirk returned as he held it up. “Perfect.”

It dawned on Ninira that perhaps the person he was plotting against was the recipient of this book rather than her. She felt some tension lift from her shoulders. “Are you sure?” She asked politely. 

“Positive.” He started to rise but paused and looked at her. “Though... do take returns?”

Ninira nodded.

“Wonderful! It’s just… he might already own this one, you know?”

—

“What the actual fuck is this?”

Estinien stared at the book that had been unceremoniously dropped into his lap mere moments before. The wide eyed spiky haired abomination on the cover stared back.

“A book on Hingan art.” Aymeric was unable to keep the smug amusement out of his voice as he took a seat. Estinien’s apartment was already cramped but he’d managed to squeeze in a chair alongside the couch, coffee table, and entertainment unit that occupied his living room. Aymeric sat in the armchair now, an infuriatingly pleased look on his face. “Just like you asked.”

“I asked for the book on traditional art that was in the window!” Estinen snarled from his own spot on the couch, “not this!” He brandished How to Draw Action Anime and Manga angrily at his friend.

“Ah, the one in the window. I apologize, I didn’t see that one.” Aymeric’s face cracked into a grin. The bastard. He knew full well about the book sitting in the bookstore’s window. Estinien had been eyeing it for a while now and despite the fact that the aforementioned bookstore was directly across the road from his soon to be tattoo parlor he’d yet to venture inside. Too busy he’d told himself. If he was at his shop it was to work on the renovations needed to get the place open. After all, he had a schedule to keep and no time to waste browsing a bookstore. It had absolutely nothing to do with how cute the store owner was and the prospect of having to talk to her.

“You’re taking this back.” Estinen tossed the book at his friend. 

Aymeric deftly caught the book before tossing it back across Estinien’s living room. “Unfortunately I’m terribly busy, much too busy to return your book. Besides,” he folded his arms. “It’s a gift! Quite rude of you to demand that I return it. If you don’t like it, the receipt is inside, you may return it. Or exchange it, whichever you prefer.”

Estinien opened his mouth to argue but Aymeric continued. “Don’t give me you’re too busy with the shop spiel again. It’s directly across the road. Perhaps you could use some of the precious time you spend looking through the front window at the store to go over there instead?” 

Estinien scowled. 

“I’ve done you a favour! You have a reason to go now, not that you didn’t already. You go in, exchange the book your horrible friend bought you. Maybe ask the cute owner if she’d like some help moving some of the books around? She looks like she could use a hand in there. Take her out for a coffee afterwards?” Aymeric’s smile grew as the flush crept up Estinien’s face.

He rose, discarding the art book onto the coffee table as he made his way to the kitchen and wrenched open the fridge. The line of beer cans stood waiting on the top shelf and he grabbed one, cracking it open and taking a long drink. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

From the other room Aymeric sighed. “Of course you don’t…” 

Estinien returned to the living room, tossing Aymeric his own beer before slouching onto the sofa. He was only slightly disappointed that Aymeric didn’t open the can immediately and cover himself in a shower of beer—he had given the can a few extra shakes just in case. Aymeric of course had the foresight to set the can aside, the bastard. 

“Well if you do nothing I do hope that, for your future clients sake, you decide to put up some blinds. I wouldn’t want you tattooing my arm only to be distracted when your neighbour across the street slips out for her lunch.”

Estinien took an angry sip of his drink. “I’m not going to get distracted.”

“Hm, evidence proves otherwise.” Aymeric retorted, finally tempting fate and opening his own drink. He did not get sprayed much to Estinien’s further disappointment.

[monachopism]

am i autistic or am i just paranoid. level: impossible

[elytrafemme]

one of the most gender affirming things to ever happen to me is a comrade i work closely with referring to me as "man" (as in like 'don't worry about it man') which i recognize he probably does for everyone but still... meaningful 2 me.

[skenpiel]

god what the hell. i dont want to like dirk and i DONT. but i had a dream we were awesome buddies and now i almost kinda like him

[wherela]

one of those crying in the shower kind of days

[adore-gregor]

soooo

[chanselysees]

i miss the days when no one cared about me it's so annoying having this many guys in your dms

[hqmillioncorn]

Lalapril 4/27: Secret 

Cherrypit sat down on the edge of the fountain. 

All around him people were running around barking around more words that he didn’t understand. Some of them looked happy, a lot of them looked kind of scared. Gaius ran by him without a word.

At least Cid told him to get ready to fight something soon. Something really big. 

Sofia still didn’t know why she even bothered to show up today.

Well, she kind of did.

That Cherrypit kid had told her that today would be the day that he would be coming by the Archer’s guild again to continue his training. 

He had promised this just a few days ago, when Sofia had just missed him he had just been on his way out. He was rushing out towards something important apparently. Something way more important than their target practice rematch between the two of them.

Sofia had been very insistent on having their rematch soon. So much so that she was even willing to let Cherrypit have the first shot, confident that she would beat his score this time. 

Despite Cherrypit looking to be in a hurry (an awful hurry judging by the way he was dancing around and holding his linkshell) he made sure to give Sofia his word that he would come back soon to play with her.

As he ran off Sofia yelled out at him that she was NOT playing. She wasn’t a little kid, unlike Cherrypit. What she was doing was TRAINING her archery skills so she could go out and become an adventurer just like her hero, the warrior of light.

Maybe Cherrypit thought he was playing but Sofia was going to set the record straight today one way or another.

By kicking his butt in target practice.

Right on cue, Sofia heard the telltale sound of someone arriving at the archer’s guild by aethernet.

Cherrypit had arrived just as he said. Sporting a new outfit than the last one Sofia had seen him wearing. Though in her opinion, it looked like he was really overdressed, especially when it came to the weather in Gridania for the season.

Alongside the bow on his back, Sofia also noticed that in his oversized mitten wearing hands he was carrying a basket. It wasn’t an odd thing to see Cherrypit bring here. Oftentimes she heard whispers among the other serpents of Cherrypit sharing snacks with them. 

She would rather much steer clear of those snacks however.

Last time she heard that Cherrypit had given one of the serpent guards a whole slug as a snack and he refused to leave until he saw them at least attempt to take a bite out of it.

If he offered her anything she would just politely refuse it. Like royalty would.

By now Cherrypit had noticed Sofia waiting by the archer’s guild and waved at her. He started to run towards her only stopped by falling flat on his face. The basket in his hands flew from his hands and flew into the air.

Before Sofia could act, the basket fell right back down to the ground, Cherrypit caught the falling basket with one hand and lifted himself back upright with the other. He shook his head and moved some hair out of his face. Then smiled as if nothing had ever happened.

“Hi Soapiea!”

Sofia’s grin of confidence quickly faded away into a disappointed smile. She was sure that after last time that Cherrypit had finally learned how to pronounce her name. Rather than take another forty minutes sitting him down and slowly saying her name together Sofia decided to take it in stride and let him live with it for now.

“Hi Cherrypit.” She waved back at him.

Sofia watched as Cherrypit walked over to the steps of the Archer’s guild and set down the basket he was carrying. As usual on his back was a bow that looked way too big for him to be carrying around.

Either the bow Sofia was given was too small or someone was trusting Cherrypit with weaponry just a little too much. Whatever the case, she was going to file a complaint just in case Cherrypit was getting special treatment when it clearly should be the other way around.

Sofia’s patience was already running thin so by the time Cherrypit decided to sit down and pull out a sandwich it had disappeared almost entirely. She was about to gently remind him about the promise he made last time, until he pulled out a second sandwich and gestured towards her.

With his mouth still full he wiggled the sandwich at her and asked, “Do you wan’ some?” A drop of purple jelly fell from the corner of the sandwich. Her favorite kind of jelly, in both flavor and color.

As Cherrypit continued to hold out the sandwich for her Sofia decided to give in to his obvious bribe. She reluctantly tossed her bow aside and walked over to Cherrypit, taking the sandwich from his hand and taking a seat next to him.

Now that she thought about it, she was kind of hungry. That sort of thing is just what happens when you skip breakfast, she guessed.

“If you think sharing your snacks with me is going to get me to go easy on you, you got another thing coming.” Sofia used her free hand to take out her handkerchief and placed it on her lap. There was no way she was going to eat something as messy as this with the possibility of messing up her new dress.

Cherrypit looked at her, confused at what she had said and what she was doing.

Sofia clued into Cherrypit’s confusion and decided she would be nice enough to explain what she was doing. For one of her loyal subjects.

“I’m just making sure to keep my dress clean.” Sofia gestured to her immaculately clean dress. It was a pretty purple color, the color of royalty! (for sure!) Custom made and a perfect fit for her fifteenth nameday.

“A princess has to always look her best, you know?” Sofia threw her hair back and let the natural light of the sun shine down on her and sparkle her tiara.

Cherrypit watched her closely and flipped back his own ponytail. Sofia didn’t seem to notice his flattering imitation.

For a while Sofia and Cherrypit sat on the steps of the archer’s guild. Sofia gave every person that passed by a simple wave and a “Good morning.” Cherrypit watched her and waved right after her every time.

Sofia finished her meal and looked over to Cherrypit, hoping that he had finished too so they could start their friendly competition already.

For some reason Cherrypit was holding a tomato between his hands.

Sofia didn’t put much thought into it besides thinking to herself that eating a jelly sandwich with a tomato was an odd choice.

She decided to ignore it until she noticed that Cherrypit was squeezing the tomato with his hands. Or at least, trying to. Sofia knew that tomatoes were fairly easy to squish, unlike an apple or something.

She had half a mind to tell Cherrypit to be careful or he might make a mess or something.

Just as Sofia was about to raise her voice to tell Cherrypit to knock it off, the tomato had reached its limit.

The poor tomato finally exploded with a squish.

Sofia managed to jump back in time to avoid being hit by any of its residue. But the same could not be said for Cherrypit. Parts of his face and his entire shirt were covered in tomato juice. 

All Sofia could think at that moment was that whoever did Cherrypit’s laundry for him would probably have a lot of questions for him.

Not only that, but the tomato had splattered all over the dirt in front of him.

Cherrypit dropped the last of the tomato on the ground. He wasn’t even bothering to wipe off any of the tomato’s residue off his hands, which Sofia found inconceivable.  

Cherrypit looked at his hands and shook them in place. Then he looked up at Sofia,

“I saw that happen to a person.”

It was all that Cherrypit said.

Sofia remained silent.

He couldn’t possibly mean like, a real life person, could he? Where would someone even see something like that?! Let alone just walk away from something like that?

Sofia looked down at the tomato stain on the ground. It was starting to fade.

“Um, where did you see that?” Sofia had asked without thinking. There was a part of her that instantly regretted asking that question.

Cherrypit smiled, then put a finger up to his mouth.

“It’s a secret!”

[hella1975]

hella I keep getting edits with some sort of original version of waiting room?? on my fyp and I'm gonna be honest waiting room wasn't a song that did me in quite as badly as the rest of you but this version I keep hearing literally rips my heart straight open😭😭 like I've been planning on fixing the no waiting room on spotify issue by taking it into my own hands🏴‍☠️ but now I know it's gonna have to be this version I'm not even bothering with lost ark waiting room. it's just gonna be waiting room og bc what the fuck?? "I never grew up with you, and you're not my waiting room" what the fuck??? with the haunting background noises literally WHAT THE FUCK????????

OMG IVE SEEN THAT ONE everyone keeps going on about the vocals of 'and you're not my waiting room' but i really cant get over 'i never grew up with you' like what??? WHAT??????

[todayisafridaynight]

What the hell was that other anon on, I signed up to see masadai and minedai good shit, not that cursed timeline, it caused me PHYSICAL PAIN to read that last ask

Not even "oomf angst" pain but physical pain from trying to comprehend this at all smh REAL LIFE PSYCHIC DAMAGE

you hear that other anon we gotta stone you to death. sorry this is a democratic inbox :/

[horrorwebs]

I MADE MORE FRIENDS . !!

[elytrafemme]

why doesn't anybody talk about schrodinger's mental illness? seriously i think i'm onto something here

[yo9urt]

happy :)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for sabotaging my boyfriend's hookup with his girlfriend by filling his sex playlist with DJ Crazytimes

I (28NB, they/he) have known my boyfriend (call him C, 29M, he/him) for some 15ish years now. As long as I've known him, he has been on and off again with his girlfriend (call him T, 29NB, he/him). Respectfully, and with love, C and T are two of the worst and most annoying people I know. I want to marry them both specifically so that I can study them under a microscope like a parasitic virus.

Technically they're monogamous, but they're both hooking up with other people (myself included), usually the same people, because they have the same taste in lovers (bad). I have suggested that they give actual polyamory a try, and they reject the idea wholeheartedly. I think they get off on their dynamic, and far be it from me to try more than the bare minimum to dissuade them from it.

A couple months back, they got into a fight and broke up (again) because T (who was unemployed at the time) stole $50 from C (who works at GameStop) so that he could pay for a tank of gas (using C's car) to go hook up with another guy a couple states over. C was not upset that T was hooking up with another guy (because he was Also hooking up with that guy and knew he would not have a leg to stand on), but because of the stolen money + car.

C and I currently live together, because you can't afford an apartment on a GameStop salary, and also, like I said, he's my boyfriend. I'm making carnitas tacos next Friday, and T is coming over, because despite everything, he has nothing else to do on a Friday night. I know that C and T are going to get into a huge fight, and I know that it's probably either going to end with them getting back together out of spite or with someone's vehicle getting keyed--I'm betting on both.

Here's where I think I might be the asshole. I would really like to get inbetween them. Not in a "I don't want you to date each other" kind of way, but in a "holy shit you are both so insufferable i would like to get in on that" kind of way. I currently have my thing with C, and I've hooked up with T once in the past, but I would really like to make it official with him as well.

My plan is as follows: C and T are going to be in the same space again next Friday. They're going to fight, then hook up, then get back together again. C is one of those cybersexual "i built my own computer and run it on Linux" people, which is to say, he thinks tiktok and youtube are evil, and he he thinks spotify premium is supporting megacorporations. So, his sex playlist for T (we do not have our own sex playlist) is just an actual folder of mp3 files.

While C is at work, I'm going to log into his computer and change several of those mp3 files to DJ Crazytimes' Planet of the Bass, which I play often, and he is frequently annoyed by. My hope is that he'll realize it was me, he'll come and yell at me for ruining their hookup, T will take my side to piss him off, and the tension will get to the point where they let me join their hookup, and I can ask to date both of them after that.

To be clear, I recognize that I'm also Incredibly Toxic for enabling and encouraging this behavior. That said, I feel like I'm justified in this scenario considering C and T are both Also toxic, and furthermore, it is a known fact that I'm dating C right now, so for them to hook up, C would technically be cheating on me. I asked C's sister (a childhood friend of mine) for her take on whether it would be funny or just annoying, and she just told me that we all deserve each other, so I think I should be good. Am I being uniquely shitty here?

What are these acronyms?