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what draws you back to your country what draws you back to your land when i was a kid i told myself if i ever left iran i'd never go back 2 years into living in the UK i started looking at news on iran again 10 years in and i visited it for the first time again and today i heard an iranian mother talk in farsi to her child on the train to london the way my mother used to and i wanted to cry i wanted to ask her whether they're still cutting the mountaintops whether the lakes are still drying today i showed the person i was with pictures of waterfalls and palaces and forests and snow-white north something odd pulls me back with increasing force i can't ignore it ever again
#i just dont know how else to tell you everything !!! santoor from a different room the large family gathering the black tea with saffron#drank out of delicate glass and gold vessels cold marble on hot nights big stars big rivers big mountains#visible from busy tehran roads the ease of conversation tension eased by sarcasm tall tall cliffsides you drive by#rushing to put on headscarves before the head teacher comes in a rave by the base of damavand massive sun pastel purple skies#disjunct architecture trucks on road sides with fresh fruits pomegranates watermelons oranges everywhere#the smell of golpar on tangerines beautiful girls in tehran holding hands bautiful boys in kermanshah speaking kurdish the janky#cars on the verge of breakdown held together by love caspian sea lighting up in spring staying up into the morning on noruz#my friends uncle sang and played setar his son played the violin a little fear a lot of love remnants of something#grand carved into the cliffside everything feels bigger taller the landscape swallows you it smells like#illegally imported wine and orange blossoms and auntie's tahchin soaking your eyes in warm tea when youre sick#tomatoes and salt concrete and stone something mandmade and something raw new flag old resilience#the anger getting to us bruised eyes big grin all i know is the north i feel sorry my mother asks if id be okay#if they got a place in tajikistan we love each other enough dont we? when we look in the mirror we see each other. theres a love letter#across the border and it says I MISS YOU IM GLAD YOURE DOING BETTER itll never be the same im not okay with it at all there are no more#stars i miss jumping over big fires i miss our fireworks im sorry we cant be happy anymore everyone#leaves the mint and rosewater and sunlight for a reason.#it's not pride it's just generational regret
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is this your card? ♦️♣️♥️♠️ it isnt but you dont wanna hurt his feelings
#this was supposed to be a warmup but i got carried away.... i havent drawn in so long that its been hard to focus orz#im testing a new brush for fun. again.. i think i can use this for clean lineart..?? im surprised i went as long as i did with the#narinder brush honestly... but i wanna try something new so here we are again#if i could get my shit together id love to draw a model of his van because i have smth really cool in mind..i was looking at pictures#of old wooden caravans like the horse drawn ones and i wonder if i could combine that with the shape of an RV#i like the ones with a door at the rear bc it kinda lookslike a train caboose.. maybe he'd get someone to weld him a custom ride!!#idk how intricate and detailed i can design it without making it a pain in the ass to draw every time BUT i have a general idea#it would probably have a door on the side but idk if itd flip down to make a stage or upwards to make a roof?? and then theres a#curtain behind it where he would come out and do his show methinks.. ive been looking at pictures of camping vans on pinterest for ideas#i dont think he LIVES in the van since i mentioned his home is an old run down theatre when he isnt on the road. i wanna draw that too#but the RV should have enough for long travels like a bed and cabinets..? maybe a net hanging on the ceiling where all his props go#id like to think of ideas for a hometown.. toronto has a huge entertainment district so it would make sense for him to live there#although id also love to base parts of it from vancouver since id love to go back and visit </3#..would there be furth names for those places?? nyancouver... clawronto... whinnypeg (like a horse whinny)...#pawson creek.... purrlington... otterwa.. i love coming up with names lol#my art#myart#my oc#oc#sleight#laikas comet oc#fan character#fur#furry art
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the trio always default to hanging out at anne's house, because to sasha and marcy, her place has always felt more like home than their own. its instinct for the three of them, at the end of a long day of school and sports and clubs, for their feet to walk the path to anne's house. her parents already know to have five place settings prepared. they keep the sleeping bags in anne's closet. anne hardly ever spends her nights alone anymore.
until one day, anne returns home without them
she isnt alone, far from it. her house is still anything but quiet. but it doesnt feel whole. the small signs, the remnants of their presence she hardly ever noticed before, are all that she sees. the bodies she falls asleep next to dont hold that same warmth
#tl;dr: sasha and marcy are in anne's walls#someone i follow on insta was talking about how sashannarcy spent nearly every night together#that theyd have 'official sleepovers' with scare dares and all-nighters#but also nights where they just stay over at each others places and thats how theyd spend most of their nights#and ive always loved the idea that after season 2 anne just sees sasha and marcy everywhere when she's back home#everywhere she looks theres some kind of reminder of them#sasha's gradfiti. a new book in marcy's favorite series. the initials carved in anne'a bedpost.#the stars the three of them stuck to her ceiling. their toothbrushes in her bathroom. they havent been used in months.#they probably shouldve been thrown out by now#their presence is even louder in their absence#and that just makes it harder for anne to not think about them#amphibia#anne boonchuy#marcy wu#sasha waybright#sashannarcy#yk what i mean?#j rambles#k.txt
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Hi hello I watched all of carmilla in a weekend when I was 17 because a student teacher who in retrospect I had a bit of a crush on mentioned that she knew one of the actresses. also I am pretty invested in all your recent vampire stuff because I watched iwtv in 2 days last week because your edit intrigued me
oh hiiii 🫶 thank you for indulging me. thats so cool that you watched iwtv! did it live up to the expectation?
i also watched carmilla at 17! or like, 17-19. i found it when s2 had just started and followed it to the end. did something permanent to my brain but i think it was a good thing. on rewatch now im like, i was right to like this. like it's a solid show, it's good. it has its flaws obviously but it's well written, the emotional moments still get me, i can see why i liked it and i still like it now even when it's not anymore, you know, meeting every need that baby gay me didnt even know they had
what it doesnt reaallyy do though - i dont remember if i posted abt this or if i left it in my drafts but - is explore vampirism as a concept. their subject matter is more lesbianism than vampirism. which is great! thats what they wanted to do and they did it and it's very good. but reading interview with the vampire the book rn im realising how much potential vampires have to be metaphors for like so many things and i started wondering like 'wait, did carmilla just not really engage with it or did it all go over my head'. but it just didnt really engage with it all that much. which again is fine bc that wasnt what they were doing. im glad they were more about the lesbianism than the vampirism
but there's this interesting difference in framing, because in iwtv they keep calling armand 'ancient' right? and emphasising how old he is. and he's like 500? and i was like 'wait isnt carmilla like 400?'. she isnt, shes 340, but still, thats getting there, you know? and we know quite a lot about her history, but kind of just the Big Events. when she was turned, the events of the novella, coffin of blood, silas. thats sort of what we know. but none of the long lonely slog of history day to day you know? with armand i feel like we can really feel how much time everything takes. how every one of those years is made up of single days. with carmilla i dont feel that as much. i keep kind of thinking about daniel, when louis calls him a boy in the first episode, saying "im an old man, with all the triggers that come with it"
because carmilla might look 18 (or mid twenties at this point) but she has lived all that time. shes also seen her native land be claimed by like a succession of ruling powers, right? like armand. shes been buried alive, like louis. when lestat is born, shes already 80 years old, shes lived a whole human lifetime, and the entire adult part of it shes been a vampire. shes lived through 1680-1870 being a lure. i compared her to abigail hobbs in some tags on a post, i dont know if youre familiar with hannibal the tv show, but i do also kinda keep thinking about that comparison
if youre not familiar, in the first episode of hannibal the murderer of the week is this guy garrett jacob hobbs who kills and cannibalises girls who resemble his daughter. and later on it turns out she was made to be his lure. like they'd go places and he'd sent her to the victims to make friends and maybe get them back to their home or smth. not sure if they specified all the details. but that's what carmilla did for mother. and in s2 we hear from mattie that while every couple of decades carmilla had to lure victims for the fish god, she also seemed to just enjoy humans between those times, right? like the doctor, gets lonely, gets a new companion. but we've only sort of got mattie's mocking word for it ("dont eat him, hes a poet! or her, shes got such a wonderful voice. or that one, shes just too pretty to ruin"), we don't know exactly from carmilla's point of view what she was doing or why. if mattie's talking about stuff that happened after the blood coffin, 1950-now, then i think it's a fair assumption based on what carmilla says in the s1 sock puppet show that after she'd figured out what the real situation was and what her role in it was, when she'd started trying to save girls from being sacrificed, that she mightve been doing the same trying to save people from becoming mattie's victims. it's probably more likely that she was just trying to find excuses to stop mattie from sucking someone dry rather than actually having like an aesthetic based morality. but it might be a bit of both. im still trying to figure out what her philosophy actually is, like i dont know what existentialism actually means ghkfjghkj but i will
i also found it pretty striking in the movie when shes turning back into a vampire she says like "this was supposed to be done, you know? the blood lust, the self-loathing, the sleeping tied to a chair in my own bedroom". thats what defines her vampirism, wanting blood and hating yourself for it (the third part is a joke/reference to s1 but also i think meaningful for how she sees her relationship with laura when she IS a vampire. little bit of that 'she will reject me for my monstrousness' shining through). and thats what defines vampirism for lots of vampires across the genre obviously, but i dont know, it struck me. we dont get a lot from carmilla's pov, we know a fair amount about her, but the story is always told through laura. we get laura's diaries, but just snippets here and there from carmilla, what shes thinking, how shes feeling
and i love that shes a philosopher. i love that thats how she seems to try and find something to hold onto, in a world that kind of moves around her, having been murdered, kidnapped, turned and groomed to be a lure on the cusp of adulthood, never having been properly loved (the relationship with her father wasnt good she says in s3, and her mortal mother i dont think has ever been mentioned (like laura's)). the only good relationship she seems to have had for the better part of 3 centuries seems to have been mattie, and mattie seems to love being a vampire. i can imagine carmilla just sort of going along with anything mattie wants to do just because shes so desperate for that friendship. not like, against her will necessarily really. but more like, she hasnt even had the space to develop her own will, you know? and philosophy lets you do that. philosophy gives you frameworks to understand the world and to develop your own opinions on it. and by the 21st century she seems to have developed those opinions, she has a sense of her own values, but shes also still stuck in that same situation. shes jaded and cynical in the face of laura's optimism and strong moral code a lot of the time in s1 because she feels probably pretty powerless. like she does what she can to save some girls but at the end of the day shes scared of her mother and she has nowhere else to go really, right?
i like how she grapples with that over the course of the series, in tandem with laura grappling with her black and white morality. she sort of jumps ship from her mother to laura bc theyve fallen in love, but then laura still stuck in her hero thinking refuses to see her monstrous side. not literally bc i think the biological vampirism never seemed to be a problem for laura, but morally. the having murdered. carmilla needs laura to see that and love her while seeing it bc the last girl she loved rejected her for being a vampire.
but you see her kind of swing back and forth in s2. she softens first with laura but then they break up and she leans back hard into the sarcastic cynic defense mechanisms, leans hard into "im a monster, dont expect heroism from me". but thats like, it's sort of learned helplessness i think. it's powerlessness, resignation. bc morally shes not a monster. maybe she doesnt have as strong a drive to help other people as laura does and is a little more selfishly hedonistic in that she just wants to enjoy her/their life, but she doesnt hurt people for fun, she never has. she just sort of didnt have another option for a Really long time. so she pretends she doesnt care. "im a vampire, this is what i do, this is who i am". but clearly from the way she talks about it when she turns back into one, she doesnt enjoy it
and i like how she goes even further in s3, where she starts swinging even more to the heroic side, bc she sees hope. shes like "wow if we kill my mother, i'd be free". theres hope and she becomes like a lot more active. and shes like that at the start of the movie too, a lot happier, a lot more relaxed, and then vampirism is back and bam depression gfhgkjh like shes immediately more gloomy, ashamed of her past and her self, retreats into herself
sorry i just took this as an opportunity to dump all the carmilla thoughts floating in my head on you. you didnt ask fhkghgjh consider this an open invitation to you or anyone else to come talk to me about carmilla
#just finished watching the movie and i had actually forgotten but at the end shes a vampire again!#they totally gave us a super great opening for more conflict to explore hollstein's relationship#bc carmilla sort of puts closure to her past by taking responsibility for her part in it and it makes her a vampire again#and laura is like 'dont give up on our life together' and shes like 'im not giving up on anything!'#and laura is like 'we're supposed to live and get old and have grandkids how are we gonna do that if you dont age'#so thats a great set up#im putting the fic im writing i think another 5 years in the future#bc the movie is 5 years from the end of the series and im doing another 5 years so it's 2024#but theres so much opportunity to play there. theres conflict. tehres problems to solve. but theyre in a good place#i dont think they ever specify how vampires are made in this universe#therees some posts on carmillas blog where she responds to asks abt why she doesnt turn laura or if she would#and she just says 'you have no idea how this works'#but that was still during the series and the writers obviously wanted to keep their options open and their writing cards a bit closer to#the chest#but at this point you could make laura a vampire#you could explore that. see how they both feel abt that. would bea difficult decision#theyre also not married yet in the movie#they celebrate carmilla's 'rebirthday' where she turned human again#you could do a thing where they turn laura on that same day. sort of make that their wedding#not an easy decision i think. i think it would take a lot of discussion to get them there but not impossible#and would be fun to explore. both their feelings abt all that. and like anotehr 5 years in the future where they are in their lives#idk idk. brainstorming#thanks for giving me an opportunity to infodump a little :)#carmillaposting
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having swap au thoughts. *slaps roof of claus* there's so much mental illness in this guy. im gonna blow up everyone in the room and then myself
#what if you felt unbearable guilt because your brother went missing in the two seconds you were separated#and you feel like there mustve been Something you couldve done to prevent it#if only you had stuck together. if only you hadnt let him tag along on your basically-a-suicide-mission in the first place#but none of those things happened so you go through three years blaming yourself#continuing to search for him because maybe hes still out there. and maybe exhausting yourself on an aimless search is a way you can atone#and then you're pulled into this big destiny adventure so your searching is put on the back burner#you're so busy doing important things and meeting new friends and there are points in your adventure where your heart feels lighter#and maybe you open up just a little about the crushing guilt you feel. and your new friends say it wasnt your fault#maybe you start accepting that your brother is really gone but you have to keep living your life#saving your brother was a far out dream but saving the world is something you have the power to do#so you try your best. so you dont fuck up this time#your guilt becomes the fuel keeping you going#and then at the end of your journey#you find out one of the biggest obstacles on your journey#the human chimera that you felt kinda horrified at and a little bad for even as you fought them#is your brother you've been mourning and agonizing over not being able to save#so um. The Guilt is even worse now#now he doesnt just feel responsible for his death. he Now feels responsible for him becoming this Creature Thing under porkys control#and in a lucas dies scenario. hoogh i cant imagine how claus would feel after that.......#however the thing that spurred this post was thinking about the lucas lives postgame scenario (it just got a bit out of hand lol) so.#your brother is alive and back home again and youre so unbelievably glad#but the guilt still creeps up every time you see how much hes Changed. physically and mentally#you had just started to accept the fact youd have to live without your brother but somehow having him back is almost just as painful#things cant just go back to how they were before. youll never be the exact same happy family as you used to be#its strange adjusting to having lucas back and its strange trying not to step on each others toes with their trauma#you cant help but be clingy because you couldnt bear it if he disappeared again under your watch#but nobody wants to be watched all the time especially when youre recovering from your brainwashed identity as an army commander#FUCK I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT I WANTED TO RAMBLE MORE AUGH. THEY MAKE ME SO ILL. i swear its not all angst theres some lightheartedness in it#mother 3 swap au#mothfics
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HR: God, if you reduce your contract by 4 hours you'll basically be a part timer ahaha
The owners now: Um actually we don't think we can give you 36 hours... no we didn't consider this sooner despite having this conversation prior to hiring new people (:
#ooc.#ooc. tbd#no shade to my poor manager organising this btw its the owners who are a mess#but i got a job offer on the line so maybe get it together actually ??#i dont want the new job ... kinda ... i dont want to have to commute BUT#maybe dont joke about how sad youll be to lose me for a day/_4 hours_#then scramble to give me the hours YOU AGREED TO HEY#i cant#idk what the other place will offer pay wise but you know what ill have? running water#electricity#wifi that isnt on a TOP UP SIM HI EXCUSE ME?#YOUR BUSINESS THAT IS _ENTIRELY_ DEPENDANT ON WIFI IS USING A FUCKING TOP UP SIM#ALSO THE OTHER PLACE? SPELL CHECKED MENU#i begged i begged i BEGGED to proof read the new menu before the printed it omg#ALSO THERES NO TOILET WHERE I WORK DID I MENTION THIS
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Dilly dally Shilly shally
With one last pull Babycorn finally managed to pull the helmet off her head. Somehow her hair had managed to become even messier under it. There was probably no harm in taking it off now, neither her or Butter were going anywhere at this point. “I hope we don’t get in trouble for this…” Butter was sitting next to Babycorn, his helmet at this point was off too. “I think it’s gonna be okay!” Babycorn smiled. “I think Lunya is gonna be real impressed that I crashed on top of a tree!” “Maybe…Especially since it's the only tree around here.” Butter looked all over while adjusting himself on the branch he and Babycorn were sitting on. “Oh!” Babycorn bounced up and down, grabbing Butter’s arm without any warning. “Look! Look! Isn’t the sunset pretty!!?”
ffxiv write day 1: steer with @windupnamazu 's Butter and also Pancake cinnamon and lunya
something about the beach and a cool motorcycle.? and babycorn continuing to think shes dying of a mysterious disease Takes place during dawntrail but i have no idea when ahaha
Babycorn proudly watched as Cherrypit added the finishing touches on his sand castle again. “Ta-da!” Cherrypit cheered as he finished placing a small rock on top of his latest magnum opus entirely made out of wet sand.
He crawled over to his sister and poked her arm to let her know he was all done and that she could open her eyes now.
“WahHuh?!” The easily startled Babycorn let her arms drop as she nervously looked around for any sign of danger. There was a part of her that forgot for just a moment that they were on a beach just having a nice time.
“Bebe! Bebe!” Cherrypit cried out to her.
“...Huh? Oh! Hi Cherry!”
Cherrypit smiled and gestured over to his sand castle that could very well be described as a sand lump instead. “I’m all done!” He poked a hole in the side of the castle. “Look! Look! All done!”
Babycorn’s eyes sparkled with pride as she looked at her brother and his marvel of modern architecture. “Woaaah! Cherry good job!! It looks great!” Babycorn cheered and clapped and in response Cherrypit began to clap alongside her. “Good job! Good job!” Cherry happily cheered along.
“It looks almost good enough to eat!”
Cherrypit instantly stopped and gave her a very familiar look. Babycorn immediately recognized it as the same kind of expression that Lunya would give her when she was about to eat something she wasn’t supposed to.
It was a look that Babycorn was very used to. Especially since the real Lunya was also giving her the exact same look all the way from her beach chair.
Babycorn crossed her arms and pouted, “...But I won’t eat it cause sand isn’t for eating.” It felt like lately she couldn’t eat any yummy stuff! Not some glowy plants, the rocks in the ocean or even the ocean water itself!
It was no fun…
Both Lunya and Cherrypit nodded in unison.
Then on cue–and before Babycorn could ask Cherry if he wanted to go get ice cream because she was suddenly really craving a snack, he began to giggle mischievously to himself. There was a twinkle in his eye as he stared down at his sand castle.
Babycorn knew what was coming and quickly covered her eyes with her hands.
With a joyous squeal Cherrypit jumped on top of his sand castle, squishing it down to nothing but sand. “Yay! Yay! Yay!” He grabbed huge piles of sand in his hands and threw them up in the air, kicking up sand everywhere at the same time.
Currently this was his 28th sand castle this morning alone.
Cherrypit let out a cute growl as he continued to play around in the sand. He was probably imagining himself as a huge monster or something.
At this point Babycorn figured she was in the clear and uncovered her eyes. Years upon years of painful sand in her eyes had taught her the exact signs of when her precious baby brother was finally done rampaging around.
When next she looked, Babycorn saw Cherrypit drawing a face in the sand. He stopped to look at her and then down at his drawing, “Bebe!” He pointed at her and then went back to drawing.
“Oooooh!! That’s me?!” Babycorn squealed. “That’s so cute Cherry!” There was no doubt that after drawing her Cherrypit would go on to draw all their other friends–Babycorn was more than ready to go call them over one by one to show them her brother’s artwork.
Speaking of her friends…
“I wonder where Butts is…?” Not like she was always catching herself thinking about him lately (ahaha) but it was a little strange to see Pancake and Cinnamon around without Butter too. There was a little worrywart in her head wondering if something happened to him.
Thankfully Babycorn’s natural airheaded-ness was a great countermeasure for that. Because as soon as she found herself worrying–something else would catch her attention and instantly distract her. At least until the next time she began overthinking.
This time the distraction happened to be the sound of a motorcycle engine.
“Whuh?” That was incredibly specific.
Babycorn looked over to where she knew there was no sand and noticed something strange. A whole motorcycle! Not only that-! There was someone getting off of it. Babycorn didn’t recognize them at first but once they took off their helmet it was clear who it was.
The two bunny ears on top of his spiky-haired head was a dead give away.
“Butts?!” Babycorn gasped out loud. “Wha-?! B-Butts?!” Something in Babycorn’s head was short circuiting. Apparently.
Cherrypit heard what his sister had said and sat up. His hair was covered in lumps of wet sand and his shirt was an absolute mess. “Butts? Butt?” He whipped his head in all sorts of different directions to see who his sister was talking about.
Then he noticed Pancake and Cinnamon run past him. “Butter! You made it!” Pancake yelled out to him.
Cinnamon, who was slightly sunburned, was seconds away from strangling him with her small fairy sleeves. “FINALLY!! You have to promise to never forget the sunscreen again!!” She said through gritted teeth.
Pancake rolled her eyes, “You’re the one who said you didn’t need it!” Meanwhile, Pancake had waited for her brother under the semi-safety of some cool shade.
“How was I supposed to know?!” In Cinnamon’s defense she did usually spend her free afternoons baking inside of a hot oven. The sun should have had no effect on her but her creator must have never accounted for Turali weather.
Cinnamon flapped her wings in aggravation. “Enough speculating! Hand it over!!” Butter held out the sun screen and Cinnamon instantly took it and flew far away from the sun. It caught both siblings off guard. “Hey!” Pancake chased after her, “I need it too! You better not use it all or I’ll tell Butter!”
Butter began to quickly untie his shoes to change them up for a pair of flip-flops. At the same time however, he couldn’t help but try and help.“U-Um I mean if you’re already sunburned I don’t know how it’s going to-Whuh?” Something stopped Butter in his tracks.
He looked down to see Cherrypit pulling on his shorts. Cherrypit looked up at him with his huge empty white eyes. “BaButts!” He smiled and pulled up his shirt collar to chew on it.
Butter picked Cherrypit up and gently took the shirt out from the toddler's mouth. “Try not to bite on that okay?” Probably not until he could get a clean shirt on. There was usually nothing anyone could do to stop Cherrypit from biting something.
Then all at once it hit Butter. The cardinal rule of life itself, something that had only been proven wrong about four times in the history of time itself.
That being; If Cherrypit was somewhere it meant that Babycorn was close by.
Before Butter could do anything he felt a certain someone grab both his shoulders and turn him around. In just the span of five seconds he found himself from facing the beach to looking Babycorn in her sparkling, heartstopping-ly cute eyes. “Hi Butts!!” She yelled into his face as if he wasn’t standing right in front of her. “I was wondering where you were!” Babycorn continued to yell very loudly.
Butter staggered backwards, his face beginning to turn a familiar shade of pink. “I-I-I was just stopping by the cabins to bring some sunscreen over since we forgot some!” In no time Butter managed to compose himself again. He had grown a lot over the years and that also meant he was able to hide his flustered feelings about Babycorn a lot more better than usual.
But that hardly meant anything when Babycorn had the tendency of sneaking up on him and throwing all of that growth for a loop.
Butter took Cherrypit and set him down on the ground. He smiled as he watched Cherrypit run over and hug Babycorn’s leg. “Cute swimsuit by the way!” Butter froze as soon as he realized the words that left his mouth.
For better or for worse Babycorn didn’t even hear what Butter had told her, as her short attention span had already become enraptured by something else.
As Butter began to think of any words that could have rhymed with swimsuit he noticed that Babycorn was hovering around his motorcycle. “Woah!! What?!” She poked and put her hands all over it, almost like she couldn’t believe it was real. “You have a motorcycle?! Since when?!
Butter opened his mouth to answer her but before he could Lunya (who had not been listening in with everyone else on that beach) helpfully chimed in.
“I can answer that! Butter bought one right after you said that you were a big fan of motorcycles!” Lunya winked.
“No I didn't! Don’t listen to her!!”
Babycorn wasn’t sure which of her friends to believe. She wanted to believe both of them. “It does look a lot like the one I saw in my dream where Hildi rode one into the sunset…” Though her describing that dream in great detail to Butter probably had nothing to do with it.
“It sure does doesn’t it?” Lunya giggled to herself.
Butter gently pushed Lunya out of frame and out of the next few following paragraphs, “Okay! Thank you Lunya! I love and appreciate you–pretty please let me handle this!”
When Butter turned back around he saw Cherrypit biting a part of his motorcycle. He was hanging off it just using his shark-like teeth. Permanent markings on his motorcycle aside, Butter didn’t really mind.
Honestly something like that was bound to happen. What was catching his attention more was seeing Babycorn zipping and zagging all over to look at the motorcycle. She probably thought he was really cool right now. The thought of that made Butter let out a happy hum.
Babycorn noticed the cute look on Butter’s face and her attention turned from the motorcycle to him. Which also gave her a really cool idea. “Oh! Oh! Can I try driving?!” She bounced up and down on her heels in sheer excitement. “We can totally take turns! It’ll be really fun!!” She bounced all the way around the motorcycle and grabbed at one of the handles while trying her best to make sputtering noises with her mouth.
Butter thought it was really cute, he couldn’t help but smile and look at anything but Babycorn. He could already feel his face warming up. “Are you sure? D-Do you know how to drive a motorcycle?”
“Of course!” Babycorn confidently gestured to herself. Still hanging off the motorcycle Cherrypit looked up at his sister with wide eyes before opening his mouth and dropping to the ground. Once he was both feet on the ground he mimicked her gesture. “Can d’ive!” Cherrypit babbled out.
Butter would have been inclined to believe Babycorn on her word alone. Anyone who knew Butter Moontide at this point knew that he would walk to the moon and back if Babycorn told him she wanted a moon rock.
The only thing slightly changing his mind was seeing Lunya behind a conveniently placed beachside bush vigorously shaking her head back and forth with fear in her eyes.
“Ummm…How about I drive first and see what happens from there!”
“Okie-dokie!” Of course Babycorn was going to agree to anything Butter suggested. She liked him a lot after all. “Let’s get on Cherry!”
“Get on! Let’s get on!” Cherrypit repeated. As expected Cherrypit was able to easily fly up and sit down on a seat with no issues. Meanwhile Babycorn was having a bit more trouble. “Almost got it..!”
Butter quickly noticed this. “Ah-! Be careful!” He knew Babycorn well enough to know just how clumsy she was. As cute as he thought her clumsiness was, the bandages all over Babycorn were proof enough that it could get her hurt most of the time.
Right as Butter told her to be careful Babycorn began to lose her footing. “W-Waaauwahh!!” Panicking just made her wobble even more and just as she began to fall backwards. In an instant she lost her footing and she was positive that her next bandage would be somewhere on the back of her head.
Babycorn shut her eyes tight and prepared for the impact.
When it never came she was confused. Instead she heard something else hit the ground. That mysterious sound turned out to be Butter’s helmet that he had dropped to run and catch Babycorn.
Babycorn looked up and finally realized what was happening. Right around the same time Butter realized what he was doing.
In record speed Butter had caught Babycorn mid-fall catching her in the same manner as one could describe a groom carrying a bride. As if that wasn’t enough, Babycorn could have sworn that Butter was somehow glowing with a warm light. She almost couldn’t take her eyes off him. Except…
“Huh…HUHUHH!?!!” Babycorn’s hands flew to cover her face. “Sorry! I’m really sorry! I didn’t mean to fall!” She was in full on panic mode, her heart was beating faster than ever and her face felt so hot!
She was going to die for real! This was it! The end of Babycorn Corn’s life!! Babycorn was tapping her feet on the ground over and over while dreading what was going to happen next.
Butter was completely frozen. He had locked eyes with Babycorn when he caught her, he still couldn’t believe just how beautiful her eyes were. Everything about her took his breath away. It was until just now he realized where he was. “HHUUH?! Wait no-! I’m sorry! Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to-!!”
Butter’s voice was enough to snap Babycorn out of whatever was happening to her. “No! I’m fine! I could never get hurt with you around!” She smiled as wide as she could. She wasn’t really sure why she had said that but it felt right.
“R-Right!! You’re right!” There was nothing in Eorzea or anywhere else on the star that would hurt Babycorn if he was there.
Especially if he was the one driving.
“Now hooold on!”
Both Butter and Babycorn were brought back to reality at the sound of Lunya’s voice. Apparently they had been staring into each other’s eyes this entire time. Lunya ran from the convenient beach bush and grabbed Butter’s helmet from the ground, slamming it gently onto his head. “Keeping each other safe is one thing but remember safety first!” She reminded them.
Butter adjusted the helmet on his head and looked over at Babycorn with worried eyes. He didn’t have any extra helmets for Babycorn. Or any that would fit her head at least. He had his doubts that Pancake’s helmet would fit her.
Babycorn seemed to sense his worry. “It’s okay Butts!” She knocked the top of her head with her hand. There was an odd hollow sound coming from it. “I’m sturdy!! Remember?”
“Like hell you are.” Lunya took out a yellow helmet from out of seemingly nowhere and placed it on the taller girl’s head. Babycorn’s long ears popped out from the side of the helmet. With a satisfied look Lunya dusted her hands off. “Let’s just say I’ve been waiting for this day.”
Lunya walked over and picked up Cherrypit from chewing on the motorcycle again. “How about we let Butter and Bebe go off on their trip and we can go buy a bunch of ice cream?” She whispered to him, making sure there was no way Babycorn would be able to hear them.
Cherrypit giggled, he put a finger to his mouth and gave a little “Shhhhh…!” He didn't quite understand but he wasn't about to argue against getting ice cream.
#ffxivwrite 2024#Babycorn#Butter#Cherrypit#Lunya#it takes place during dawntrail but theres no dawntrail spoilers :v)#hehe#cherrypit used to eat his sandcastles but he learned that its bad when he does that so he gets ice cream as a reward when he doesnt#babycorn knows how to drive i think shes just really reckless#she thinks the rules of the road are just a suggestion#also at this point cherrypit and babycorn dont have to be together all the time :) they can be seperated yaaayy but they dont want to mos#of the time#babycorn is just a big trolls doll#i think at this point babycorn has a small crush but she just thinks shes dying and also wondering if hildibrand WILL ever love her back#its like babycorn has expectations in her head already for what being in love feels like but then it hits her like a truck
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finally got the new desk set up in my room and cleaned out my dresser nd closet (had barely touched anything in there for Literal Years cuz of how much of a mess they were). feels surreal
#we still gotta figure out a new chair situation cuz the one ive been using#is Not Good its this awful office chair my dad had since before i was even born and its the most uncomfortable thing ever#also theres still a lot in my room that needs to be cleaned…….namely everything on top of the dresser XD#nd i gotta sort out a lot of my closet still ive been using it to store all my art n stuff for years its piled up so much stuff#that ive been meaning to get more organized AND scanned since its just. so much theres no real way i could take all of it#whenever i end up moving out.. i want to be able to still look back on it even if its not all physical#i found some goofy stuff while throwing out these old binders frm middle school i might post em#inquisitivewaltz.txt#realizing as im typing this out its a little. silly that this feels like such a big accomplishment#my rooms been fucking disgusting and an absolute mess for years now and im not very good at taking care of. well anything#so little stuff like this feels sorta relieving like. im kind of getting my life together in some sorta way#idk#oh wait also we didnt end up having to move as much as originally expected which im#pretty happy about i was really reluctant abt getting the new desk purely cuz itd completely alter the layout of my room#….which isnt very good rn but i didnt want to have to deal w the new thing i know for a fact what my parents had planned wouldve been worse#also the new desk has shelves so have more room to put shit and itll hopefully be actually more organized instead of#just throwing things onto my dresser and forgetting it even existed in the first place becuz it gets completely buried by everythint else
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one super interesting thing i keep running into while gathering references of historical clothing from across the world is while you would imagine that those clothes are super different across cultures, you kinda end up running into super similar elements the world over. like, ive looked at historical dress of north africa, western europe, eastern europe, and to a lesser degree various parts of asia and africa (i do tend to mostly take inspiration from the mediterranean and the slavic - i also dont tend to pick from indigenous american stuff too much as it is kind of the exception where i see a lot less overlap and it feels a lot more dicey to lift from those sources when the inspiration would become a lot more obvious and come w implications of coding and appropriation i dont feel equipped to tackle) and kept seeing things reappear. layered skirts and aprons, short vests over blouses, jewelry over the chest in layers of metal circles, hair coverings... in a way it makes total sense, people come up w the same thing everywhere bc people have the same bodies to accomodate everywhere so it just makes sense, but its also rly rly fun to be like "this traditional russian costume has so much in common w traditional north african costumes" yknow? it also rly helps to define general trends across geography and history when designing fictional traditional clothing bc i can mix and match the elements i like most and still end up w something that looks real and tangible. thats what i did for ajdig (that one comic i made for my grandma) - the original refs for the character designs came from all over the world but i think when you look at them you feel like these are the real clothes of a people
#97#ive definitely had the experience of looking at like.#traditional slavic garments and going 'that looks a lot like some traditional amazigh garbs'#despite the vast geographical difference theres still those similarities!#i find that a lot in embroidery as well as its an interest of mine - patterns that seem v similar#sometimes bc theyre just so evident to come up w in the medium of embroidery that they show up all over the place#same is true for resemblances between various writing systems that use v geometric shapes!#like. tamazight ogham and slavic runes have a lot of symbols that look like they could all go together.#also its v hard to find good sources of historical clothing of subsaharan africa (dont love that classification either but.)#everything is mixed (you look up west african stuff and end up w east african stuff etc) and actual historical dress is harder to find than#modern garb which is awesome but i AM looking for OLD stuff regardless of the region#and my searches keep somehow finding stuff from north africa? which i think is the algorithm being poisoned by my previous searches#but its still quite annoying#like if im looking 'historical clothing burundi' im NOT looking for algerian stuff.
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#my home is gone.#like its all still there but nothing is the same- i am not allowed to go back#everything reeks of smoke and is covered in soot#theres strangers in there cleaning#and when we can go back it wont be for long because its not safe anymore#and we will have to move#and our first apartment together my first apartment as an adult#the space we have spent a year and a half carefully making uniquely our own in a way no other place has been#will just be gone.#and i know itll be fine eventually yknow we will move and set up a new place and itll be just as good but theres so much work and pain#between us and that#and until then i just dont have a home#i just want to go home#ghost posts
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such an interesting line in retrospect cuz yeah he said this but he still immediately went out of his way to defend iris, something which hes only ever done for edgeworth btw. like he still had faith in her despite mentally scorning her as a coward.. like was this supposed to be another example of phoenix knowing more than the player, like how in aa2 he knew abt edgeworths "suicide" while we the players didnt? is this aa3 hinting that phoenix suspected tht there mustve been another explanation for dahlia's/iris' actions? cuz if thats the case then that was horribly written lmfao.
like idkkk like id like to think that this would indicate that phoenix is internally more conflicted abt dahlia/iris than his external actions seems to show, but still its like whyyy did he go out of his way to defend iris then. he didnt have any reason to think that the girl he dated and the girl who tried to poison him were different people. or maybe he did idk. IDK the writing of iris' character was just very blwefhkjds like shes just this mysteriousss character who looks incredibly similar to our evil ex. and because spirit channelling is on the table and also bc we arent certain on what happened to dahlia we have no idea who this iris girl actually is. is she dahlia or is she not. its like i said its just... it seems to me like aa3's whole thesis is about withholding faith in a person despite all the contradictory evidence, and this is reflected in the way that phoenix still believes that the girl he dated is not the girl who tried to poison him. except with the way that aa3 is written this just makes phoenix look unhealthy and delusional bc there is no basis on why phoenix should believe that, because we never once see how phoenix remembers iris. and with this line of him calling dahlia/iris coward, but also saying this shit at the end
yeah this game is BADLY WRITTEN!
#like if at any point after seeing her psychelocks + getting wrights pov again on day 2#or even after learning that dahlia and iris are twins#wright verbalizes his suspicions that maybe iris is the girl he knew all along#then maybe wrights non-wavering belief in her wouldnt feel so out of place#but no throughout the whole case we're led to believe that dahlia is the girl we dated#the reveal that iris was the girl we dated this whole time comes out of fucking nowhere. yeah it makes sense but still theres like#not enough buildup to it. and also the fact the game just glosses over the fact that she lied to us for 6+ months#and its not like she was being threatened to do this or anything no. she chose to do that herself#like seriously aa3 just makes wright seems delusional and unhealthily devoted to people. like jfc dude get it together#aa3 is such terribleeee game. but fuck i love dahlia and iris so much UGH
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< 3
#personal#one day i want to get into like harder physical kinks#like getting Literally beat up not just like hit on the ass and stuff#my wife (sadist) and i (masochist) play a lot with pain tbf in other ways but hitting itself is smthn we've been slower to grow with#and i think neither of us is ready to push it further than where we currently do cause like hitting is a lot#but ig if u are into this can u maybe send me resources on like. violent painplay#i know theres that “impact” diagram that goes around but i really want more like#resources/advice on HOW to kick/punch someone as well as self defense from this so we can learn the physical motions slow and calm together#cause im gonna be real ...... i NEED her to kick my ass more than she is able to rn#and she has the strength im just lacking on my end#also on aftercare and other tips#this feels kinda like a longshot ask but yk this feels like an ok place to admit this and poke around for resources#although also ykw if someone has that diagram can i have it??#also how cute would it be if i started a kink scrapbook. . . . . . 🤔🥺💕
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#not 2 be like. negative but i just kinda got hit hard by the way my relationship w my best friend has changed#dont get me wrong i understand that her girlfriend will be super important to her esp bc she lives across the world and is only physically#here for another 2 or so weeks#but my best friend just got back from a trip to another city to see an artist she loves and as she came in i got up to go see her and ask hl#how it was but she was in her room w her gf before i could and thats fine i get it and like she hasnt done anything wrong i can not#emphasize that enough like i hold no bitter feelings to her she is excited to talk to her gf understandably#it just hit me that like. oh yeah. i have no one else that i go to about literally anything but she does#and its less ab her so much as its. its just hitting me that i dont really have? friends?#i have one or two people but like. i only have One Person thats my go to fave person always tell them everything#and i just. I've realized that its not reciprocated the way it used to be#and that i think is just like a part of growing up#i dont have a partner i dont have someone my life is intrinsically linked to#like a best friend is great but its not. relationships are placed to a higher level you know like its jusy more important#and i just. ive nevr Had a partner really. unless u count a like 2 month thing when i was 12 which i dont count#not to be depresso but i am just not the kind of person that people want or desire#and thats been the case long before i came out as trans but its extra complicated now since i dont. Fully pass#idk not 2 sound sad i just wanna be loved#and i think theres only so many times i can hear the most important person in my life come home and talk excitedly ab things thru the walls#and then never actually get told anything myself. not just ab things shes excited for but just in general#we were meant to go to a house viewing together a few days ago and it was only half an hour before it was happening when no one else was#home that i messaged them to check in and they were like oh yeah we're not going we have this and this going on#which like. fine whatever but i dont drive and getting anywhere fast is hard so it just. was stressful#but it just seems like i am constantly out of the loop. everyone i live with is in a relationship w each other and i am just here#in every aspect of my life i am Just There and im tired of it#not to sound desperate or needy but i just would like to. be noticed? or feel prioritized? or even wanted#idk this is. i just needed to rant i think im emotional bc my hormones r a bit wack#im due for my testosterone shot in a few days but i dont have the money or time to go to the doctors lately so its being pushed back#a few weeks and its just. i think its messing w me a bit#i mean i feel this way literally all the time but just the like. the being upset and emotional and posting ab it i think is bc of that#idk i needed to get it out idk it this will stay up or not
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Euripides,Grief Lessons: Four Plays by Euripides, tr. Anne Carson
Anna Akhmatova, Poem Without A Hero and Selected Poems, tr. Lenore Mayhew & William Mcnaughton
John Berger, A Seventh Man
Li Qingzhao, “Tune: Pertridge Sky,” tr. Jiaosheng Wang.//.
#uploads#imjustsittinghere#poetry#originally collected by whetstonegirl#kathryn us core... saw the orignal post n thought of u but there were too many these r my favs#also ryan messaged my friends discord last night to say he just woke up from a dream where him and some other friends#had bought the apartment above me and connors place so we all lived in the same house#theres a staircase that connects my unit to the one above mine and he said we smashed out the wall that blocks it so we all lived together#thats sweet... <3#he said his car got towed the first night we all slept there lol#idea of people dreaming about living with me is so....#remember writing in a journal years ago that i wished all me and my friends could live together in a giant house and then id be at peace#realistically that would be maybe too insane but in my dreams.....yeah#life is so <3
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unrelated the other day i mended the boyfs hoodie while i watched jerma and i wish i had more stuff to mend because i think that's just all i wanna do with my time right now
#also it turned out nice!!!#like his hoodie is still 10+years old so it's a little ratty and sunbleached#but now the cuffs are all back together and reinforced and and the holes on the pockets are fixed too!#for the most part it's not really noticeable too unless you really look but they're places the eye doesn't fall so its nice#theres still a bit on the side i think i'll have to use an actual fabric patch for but i'm not entirely certain#gotta think on that one#anyway i also wanna go along the edges of the cuffs and the bottom of the hoodie w some bias tape so it doesn't keep trying to fray
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hello hello friends and mutuals and internet strangers :) sorry if I've missed your call (notifs) I've been busy (moved into a bigger place with the loml) but I will get back to you as soon as I can (during "breaks" while I'm at work this week)!!
Please enjoy these real and accurate photos of me irl rn
(surprise below the cut <3)
Cat tax :) he's loving his new home too
#theres mold in every crevice of our main bathroom shower 😀#fr this was the only/best option for us but my fucking god it was so dirty and dusty and completely neglected by maintenance#there was literal PIECES OF SHIT in the toilet when i opened it#thwyre having someone come check out the mold tomorrow so hopefully rhey do rheir job this time lmaooooo#pray for me that i get this olace unpacked before i leave for north Carolina next week for work#hnngggg#jen speaks#jens cat#life update#fr tho its my boyfs and i's actual first place together#ere so happy to just be with one another ajgjskfkf
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