#theres nothing JUST about you and while that is a very nice philosophical and whatever thought

[cinnabeat]

omg i was trying to explain to my professor my issue with self portraits especialy ones hat have to have a personal meaning during my critique yesterday and she was like not getting it AT ALL it was so annoying

[spidermanifested]

rough and definitely not comprehensive list of AUs Where Bido Survives And Has Nice Things ive thought of. yes i think about this too much. no i will not stop

bido is not around the meat shop when the soldiers are there and does not go looking for greed in central, stays around the vicinity of the nest and greed somehow still gets his memories back and goes to dublith and they reunite with no stabbing

follows greed to the soupening and tries to rescue him and ends up also being soupened, resulting in his soul becoming part of greeds philosophers stone and popping back up later on

He Just Simply Survives Being Stabbed and hangs out in the sewers and becomes the king of the giant chimeras guarding the place and they pop out of the ground and wreck father when hes about to try absorbing greed during the final fight

He Just Simply Survives Being Stabbed and follows ling to the house where he meets up with ed and darius and heinkel. and ed heals him with greeds philosophers stone and everything is fine and normal though there is emotional turmoil and such

He Just Simply Survives Being Stabbed.....and greed Notices This! he is holding him and screaming and whatever and ling is like hang on stop screaming you absolute moron hes still breathing. and greed is like oh shit. oh fuck. what do we do. and lings like we are going to need to be a little bit smart about this so please shut up and do what i tell you. so he takes him to father and is like.... hey pops i was chasing this chimera for fun and i was a little too rough with it but i dont want it to die can you fix it (technically none of this is a lie). father is kind of suspicious (why is there a HUMAN chimera in the tunnels???) but hes out of the loop enough that he didnt know about greeds gang of furries and is like okay fine whatever i dont want him to rebel again heres your fucked up lizard thing. and bido once being healed just runs away full tilt and greed is like. ......well thanks dad! (shit shit shit) and goes after him and when he catches up to him bidos just in a cranny sobbing and theres Emotional Turmoil! And Such! but they come to an understanding and bust out of the tunnels and eventually meet up with some group of main characters or another

he does Not just simply survive being stabbed BUT his blood going all over greed does some kind of alchemy thing and his soul goes in the philosophers stone and he is just in there now and there is, once again, emotional turmoil and such. this is the one im trying to write right now but probably will not finish

father reforms greed in his normal body instead of putting him in ling so bido recognizes him instantly and the conversation goes differently and greed basically goes maybe i dont remember this guy but he says hes mine so im keeping him and bido gradually convinces him to ditch the rest of the homunculi by Dropping Hints that they Suck while greed slowly gets his memories back

bido gets caught by that random evil guy talking to olivier in the mannequin room and bluffs his way into making him think he works for father and by a mixture of putting pieces together and getting REALLY lucky ends up convincing the guy to set up a meeting with greed in private without telling wrath (because the information is “from higher up than that and is for greeds ears only”). so again the conversation goes differently/with less murder because its under the pretenses of a “meeting with an informant” though bido still tells greed basically the whole truth once theyre alone. and while greeds reeling from all this wrath comes in because he found out after all and greed has to basically choose in that split second whether to let bido get killed or protect him and in doing so betray the homunculi. three guesses what he picks

greed also escapes from the raid on the nest and he and bido go on the run and team up with scars party and they are all friends and they work together :^)

the raid on the nest just does not happen and the whole gang is happy and alive and nothing bad ever happens to them and they are a big furry found family who all love and care for each other so very much

bido go back in time and warn everybody!!!!!!!! and everyone is okay because he did that!!!!! how did he do that? i dont know but people write things like this sometimes so bido can do it too

everything happens as normal but there are many tearful reunions in the afterlife and everyone gets to just hang out and relax and not worry and have SO much alcohol. as much as they want. forever

greed human transmutations bido back to life and it works because neither of them are human. checkmate truth

ghosts are REAL and bido is a GHOST and he HAUNTS GREED (in a nice and not mean way) and greed does not realize this until after getting somehow brought back to life post canon and hes walking around and some person with the ability to see ghosts is like hey you uh. you got a ghost on you there. and they figure out how to communicate and bido is able to tell greed he forgives him and he is happy hes found new friends

bido uses his powers and abilities to destroy king bradley on sight and goes and tells father and the rest of the homunculi to simply stop being evil and they listen to him. then he makes out with greed for 3 hours

actually all of these have to end with greed being in his own body (and bido being in HIS own body if he didnt have one over the course of the au) and then them making out for 3 hours i dont care how. it can happen. make it happen. i want the papers on my desk by six o clock sharp

[comradekatara]

The good place is kind of eh in practice but I really like the concept so.... gaang and fire lesbians reactions to a good place scenario?

upon being told they’re in the good place, katara, aang & suki are like, “oh, sweet,” ty lee and zuko are like, “what??? i am???” toph and mai are like, “oops i’m here by mistake,” sokka’s like, “theres. theres a points system. thats bullshit this is bullshit,” and azula’s just like *has a panic attack* 

everyone gets a soulmate!!!!! yay!!!!! katara, meet zuko. sokka, meet toph. mai, meet azula. ty lee, meet suki (this one backfires because they actually do fall in love). oh, and aang, since you’re a monk, you don’t have a soulmate i guess! but you don’t mind that, right? haha no, of course not! aang keeps having to pretend like he’s fine being the only one without a soulmate, and mai’s just like “oh u can have my soulmate if u want” and aang’s like “oh....no.......that’s okay........ but thanks” 

sokka is told that he’s about to meet his soulmate, and he’s like “ok this will be fun” because at this point he’s just decided to go along with it until ashton kutcher jumps out from behind a pot plant or smth. he doesn’t know whether he can trust toph yet, so when she says, “you’ll stand by me no matter what, right?” he’s like “oh of course.” and then she tells him she was sent here by mistake, and she doesn’t know what to do. he’s like, “who forking knows what to do right now this is. this is objectively insane, right????” and she’s like “well, objectively speaking, yes, but it’s also a bit presumptuous of you to assume that an afterlife that measured morality on a points basis didn’t exist just because it sounds silly as fuck when you say it out loud.” and he’s like. “no. we’re definitely being punk’d.” and she’s like “did you just say fork? lmao loser”

ty lee is all “but it doesn’t really make sense that i’m here” and suki’s like “why not? you’re nice and you smell good” and ty lee’s like “but i’m.....super sketchy.......... i’ve committed like......actual felonies???” and suki’s like “ok but who fucking cares tho” and ty lee’s like “ykw GREAT point” and then they kind of just take advantage of the fact that they’re in a magical truman show because that’s the kind of shit you do when you figure out what’s actually going on, duh. michael thinks they hate each other because every time he goes to check in on them they are literally fighting each other??? he’s like oh wait......is this maybe........too far??? but he doesn’t know what to do about that other than maybe recommend some couple’s therapy and they go for laughs and ty lee sobs dramatically and suki wails various bits and pieces of a made up backstory that gets more and more absurd and incongruous every week. 

mai and azula are perfect for each other! they have so much in common! for one thing, they both have no idea what the fuck they’re doing here. for another, they do not trust the other as far as they can throw them, and so they are both suffering silently and alone as they try to piece together why they’re here. they live right next door to toph and sokka, so they’re always running into each other, until eventually they are thrown into enough weirdly coincidental situations together that they just become friends. mai actually thinks toph is pretty cool. they kind of just get each other, yknow? what if there was, like, a mixup and.... *gasp* and then azula gets beaten in pai sho once and that’s all it takes for her to become obsessed with sokka and convinced that they are the real soulmates. sokka didn’t account for this happening because he assumed that pai sho is a meaningless game and nothing would happen if he won. he kicks himself for this later. 

mai and azula both agree to tell toph and sokka that there’s been a mistake, and they try to inform them of this theory as directly as possible. toph and sokka are like “what are you talking about?? the system would never do such a thing??? the system doesnt make mistakes!!!” and they even threaten to tell michael about this before mai and azula are like “ok ok !!! maybe we were wrong. just an idea” and sokka’s like “ok well maybe we shouldn’t be questioning this perfect world, how’s that for an idea. oh and im in love with toph” and mai and azula leave deeply heartbroken. sokka and toph are like “whew that was close” because there is no fucking way they are splitting up after they’ve spent who knows how long perfectly camouflaging under surveillance and pretending to be having sex while actually doing very long and complicated math and reading through everything every moral philosopher ever wrote up until the day they died and throwing out more and more implausible theories just for sokka to have to pretend to be attracted to azula. toph’s like “i kinda like mai tho” and sokka’s like “yeah mai’s chill” 

at first, zuko and katara get along great! they love doing dumb shit together that no one else they knew on earth ever found fun. they have such deep, profound conversations all the time. they’re always cuddling while watching movies and they’re like yeah we real cute. for the first time in both their lives they’re like, wow!! maybe soulmates are real!! all their friends are like “awww you two are so perfect together. and you always have your hands all over each other. you guys must be forkin like crazy” and they’re like “haha! ..........yep!” it’s only just occurred to them that it’s been six months and they still haven’t even kissed. and katara’s like “okay clearly we just....forgot! and we should just do that now, because we’re in ....love? unless..... you don’t want to....” and zuko’s like “HAHA WHAT WHY WOULDNT I WANT TO” the next morning they both are like “well that was great!” and are terrified to tell the other that they currently feel dead inside. after that, they stop having deep conversations. they stop cuddling on the couch. mainly, they just lie to each other so often that the smallest thing will leave them boiling over in a ginormous fight. and when they fight, the entire city knows it, because they are so. goddamn. loud. but then when people ask them how they’re doing katara’s just like “oh we couldnt be more in love :) .....why do you ask?” 

after aang’s house gets destroyed in a fire zuko may or may not have started, he feels so guilty he lets aang move into their gaudy mansion with a billion spare bedrooms. aang promises he’ll only be there until they’re done with renovations to his old home, but none of them bother to question why they need to be doing renovations in the good place anyway. zuko is constantly doubting his place in this world, and whether he even is katara’s soulmate. the people around him keep telling him he’s a good person, but then something horrible will happen that he’s certain was his fault, and he’s like “aah im a fraud!” plus, aang seems to understand katara so much better, and they have a really strong bond... if he can be here, he doesn’t understand why aang and katara can’t be true soulmates. and aang agrees. 

azula’s breakdowns get worse and worse each time, and she feels so alone. she knows that mai doesn’t love her. she knows that sokka doesn’t love her. her mom didn’t even love her! of course she wouldn’t get a soulmate –– what a childish, naive, foolish, idiotic notion!!!! so she decides to do the right thing, and confess: she was put here by mistake. she is the problem with the neighborhood. she’s not supposed to be here. sokka’s like “okay well fork. why did i ever ever beat her in pai sho” (and he’s right to think that, frankly.) there are proceedings in which azula must admit to michael that she was never a human rights lawyer, but she was an attorney. mainly she got people prosecuted for drug possession. it’s a living! ha ha...! they go through a whole bunch of bullshirt, but it all comes to a head when they’re fighting over who should take azula and zuko’s places (he confesses too, obvs) when it occurs to zuko that they can’t go to the bad place. because they’re already in the bad place. 

sokka’s like “whaaaaaaat???? no...........thats ... thats impossible! why would you..............say that.................. you........forking...................idiot...............” (so much work. so much work wasted. fuck this dude. if he weren’t already dead sokka would kill him.) but michael’s already like “wow someone finally figured it out. i thought you’d never get it.” and then goes on to explain his great master plan that was actually a lot less complex than sokka’s current working theory. he leaves the room to talk to sean, and sokka’s like “okay show of hands who knew” so turns out ty lee and suki knew as well. good to know. with double the people with brains, maybe they can devise a plan to escape. and leave the rest to die or whatever. mainly zuko though. especially zuko. sokka writes down a note to find toph, ty lee, suki, and mai in the next reboot and under it, the sentence: “stay calm; you’re in the bad place.” 

and then nbc cancels it because they have the foresight to know that the concept won’t sustain itself :) 

[lurkingcrow]

Could I request from the mash up “accidentally saving the day” and Baby Fic (can absolutely be accidental baby acquisition if you want) and Obi-Wan/Satine, please?

You know what? My very strange brain took one look at these and went:

"Why not both?"

It's the middle of the Clone Wars and some badguy (I'd suspect Maul but this is far too indirect for his liking - it's probably either that mad scientist whatever his name is Evalo? or one of Dooku's generic minions) decides that the best way to defeat the Jedi is to take out General Kenobi.

Of course, he's rather hard to kill these days, which is why great effort is taken to find a method of time travel which would allow him to be taken out before he becomes a Jedi.

As it happens the point at which the device is ready coincides with one of Obi-Wan's trips to Mandalore, and he and Satine are in the middle of their typical verbal sparring when a madman comes running through and shoots some strange device at the General, rendering him immobile as a portal forms behind him which the intruder promptly jumps through.

Cody of course is seconds after him, having worked out instantly that this can NOT be a good thing. What is surprising is that, as he stumbles through the other side of the portal, Satine Kryze is right behind him.

He doesn't have the time to draw breath and ask what exactly she's thinking before the portal closes behind them, rendering them alone.

The fact that they are in the past soon becomes apparent, as is their need to co-operate and find their enemy before he does something catastrophic.

It's not smooth sailing. For all that he has absolute respect for authority, Cody is a soldier and Satine a pacifist. She is not his commanding officer and quite frankly he doesn't trust her decisions, particularly when the safety of his Jedi is on the line.

Satine meanwhile is very much out of her depth. She hadn't stopped to think before running after Obi-Wan's assailant, and now she's stuck in an unfamiliar environment with a man who embodies everything she philosophically opposes. She is perhaps a bit more curt than usual as a result.

Still, they have a mission, and between their bouts of disagreement (Cody is a master of passive aggressive sniping and Satine is in fine form herself) they manage to track down the time traveller.

Just in time to save the infant he was about to harm. Cody acts as an immediate distraction as Satine snatches the baby out of threatening arms and while she protects the precious bundle Cody starts on an epic beatdown. Alas, their enemy is cowardly and manages to throw a smoke bomb or similar and escape, leaving them alone...

With a baby. And the slain bodies of his former guardians.

"Who could do this to a child?!" Satine asks indignantly, softly bouncing the little redheaded boy in her arms, "What could possibly be so important as to mandate this monstrosity?"

Cody looks up from where he's been searching through the effects, and then back down at the datapad that had been tucked beneath a cloak.

"I think I know." He says, offering her the device, screen displaying its contents in bright array.

"JEDI CANDIDATE: OBI-WAN KENOBI"

...

They find some supplies as they figure out what to do next. Their enemy's purpose is now clear, they need to find a way to protect little Obi-Wan and find a way home without disrupting the timeline.

As Cody points out, their best bet to solve both problems is the same: deliver Obi-Wan Kenobi to the Temple on Coruscant where the Jedi can shelter him and perhaps provide them with advice on a way home.

Satine looks hesitant (a multitude of What Ifs going around in her head, perhaps Obi-Wan didn't NEED to be a Jedi?) before she nods her head in agreement.

Of course now they need to GET to the Temple without attracting attention. And they're not exactly high on resources.

Which means you now have a long road trip, Satine and Cody with Baby Obi in hand travelling by whatever cheap transportation they can find getting closer and closer to Coruscant, ever watchful for the foe they know is out there, following them.

Of course this gives a lot of time for Cody and Satine to talk. It's awkward. Two people with nothing in common but the man who was once/is the child they cradle so gently. But with no one else to turn to it happens.

They argue. Profusely. Over politics, ideals, passions. Cody is determined to make her see that whatever his origins he truly believes in the Republic, will do all he can to protect the people within it and that even if he had the choice he would still fight if it stopped Dooku's armies from overrunning planet after planet. Satine sets out to show him the long term consequences of this war, the concessions creeping in that erode the very foundations of society, that someone needs to take a stand against the thoughtless violence and warmongering etc etc.

That they both just want the war end, the Jedi to be able to return to being peacekeepers, is something that gives them common ground.

(Unstated is the deep and abiding adoration they both hold for a certain Jedi Master who had better damn well appreciate what they're doing for his sake)

They're completely taken aback the first time one of their fellow travellers tells them what an adorable son the have. They're still shocked the next trip when an old Tholothian pats Cody on the shoulder with a wry "Wives, huh?" following one of their tiffs. By the time the giggling teenage daughter of the freighter pilot compliments Satine on having "such a helpful husband" (Cody had diaper duty that day), they've decided to just roll with it. It makes a good cover, and if people are going to assume it anyway...

(For the record.Baby Obi-Wan is adorable and they both dote on him far too much. Neither is looming forward to giving him up, even if it means retuning to a version of him who doesn't wail so much whenever they get more than two steps away.)

There are a few near misses and almost disasters, they definitely get attacked by pirates at least once, and by the end of it both of them find themselves eyeing the other with great appreciation...

(Satine is a truly impressive shot, Cody kind of wants to stick her in front of the shinies and let her completely decimate their egos. And Cody's impressive athleticism and resourcefulness make Satine wonder what he'd look like in proper Mandalorian armour.)

There's some sort of final showdown on Coruscant, where they successfully manage to subdue their opponent and get possession of the time travel device, before reluctantly having to let Obi-Wan go back to where he belongs...

(There are tears. And kisses. And as they tuck the blanket around those little limbs and hand him and the datapad off to the rather confused Temple guard, Cody and Satine silently vow that one day their version of him will be just as content.)

From there it's just a matter of getting back to their time, and both of them feel more than a little reluctant. Despite it all, it's been nice to be free of the confines of duty, to just be a happy couple travelling the galaxy together.

Cody looks at Satine. She looks back. And then they reach for one another and allow themselves one single passionate kiss before time catches up with them.

"Thank you husband." "It's been a pleasure, wife."

And they step through the newly formed portal.

Life resumes.

The war continues ever onwards, and if Commander Cody of the 212nd happens to use his spare time to send messages back to Mandalore reassuring a certain Duchess of his and his General's continued welfare, then it's nobody's business but his own.

And if the Duchess of Mandalore seems to take more interest in the legal status of the GAR, starts looking at the laws regarding multiple consorts well, it's not a crime to dream.

Yet little changes until the fateful day Maul decides to launch his invasion and Obi-Wan Kenobi disobeys orders and heads to the Twilight...

Only to find Cody waiting for him. "Hurry up Sir, theres a lady waiting on us."

Obi-Wan protests of course but Cody is adamant and probably ends up ending the argument by kissing his Jedi into submission.

Obi-Wan kisses back of course, but they've got a Duchess to rescue and a planet to save and while I don't know the specifics, if they save Mandalore, how exactly they find out about the chips and prevent Order 66, but I know that one day Satine does indeed get to see her boys stand next to her in the armour of Clan Kryze that she so carefully picked out as their family celebrates around them.

And they live happily ever after.

:)

[rhinointherain]

26-8-2020

the high hasn’t really hit me yet (its been a few minutes so yeah kind of weird, longer than usual probably, but also not that weird for me bc both i and a***** have noticed that it takes a lot longer for weed to affect me than it does for the average person, i think it is starting to kick in anyway), but i wanted to say first of all that earlier today even though i hadnt smoked at all i noticed myself having some thoughts on the similar type of abstract ideas that i get while high and thinking I should journal them, i didnt because i’m starting to come down firmer on the decision that i will only make any of these types of entries after having smoked at least once that “day” (as in since waking up in the morning, not like a 24 hour period), considering i did smoke twice yesterday and not being a very little physically active person it might have to do with thc still being in my body, but it also might be that doing these journal entries has made me more eager and better equipped to engage with those abstract ideas which i think is cool (although it is important to ask the question of whether it actually has made any tangible difference in how and why i interact with those ideas or whether i just want there to be one), but it also might be that i was reading that terence mckenna book

((actually it was all three of these reasons and also the infinite reaches of every other infinite reason that put me in this specific “multiverse”/version of existence, those three were just the main ones i at first subconsciously perceived to be important enough to type and then after typing them consciously evaluated to be important enough that i would not delete them and instead elaborate on them further. but i feel like I’ve discussed this enough by now that this is readily apparent)

what were those abstract thoughts i wanted to write down is another question because when i decided not to write them down i thought ok well then ill be sure to remember what they were and pick up my phone and write all this immediately after i smoke but the problem is that it takes a little while to type it all up and i forgot them before i had finished writing all that introduction

i should explain better the path that my thoughts have been taking from my mind to their final written form so far in these journal entries but first i want to talk about something else

which is that

(include something explaining why you feel the need to inject these sad excuses of teenage tumblr poetry in between the actual interesting shit you usually like to focus on in these entries)

okay do i still want to write about what i was about to say? also maybe it would be more productive to wait until sober to explain the processes in which these entries are formatted

yeah i do bc one of the reasons i do these lame ones is that they can act for me as a healthy emotional release okay so anyway i wanna be, and this is coming straight from the pathos slash animalistic sensory-propelled part of my brain not anywhere near the rational thought-propelled one, i right now wanna be like a a girl in a movie or story about some like lame emo dude who smokes cigarettes and the movie is just a bunch of slow panning over like a rainy city and theres shoegaze in the background (im thinking about like lost in translation or something BUT EXCEPT the dude isnt bill murray the dudes like a young guy who only someone like me would find attractive (but there are a lot of people like me) who like reads proust or some shit i dont know) and MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL fuck that’s what i’m trying to say i didn’t actually need to type all this shit i just forgot that that term existed for a sec well anyway yeah thats what i want to be, seeing as this concept and the importance of attaining it as a woman has been drilled into my head by media which my brain had been heavily impressed with during its most impressionable ages (that being my adolescence), where and how did that impression happen ie was it absorbed into the deep subconscious reaches and now resides with the animal/sensory part of my brain who has classed the desire to fulfill this idealized image as a sensory/survival need, or does it come in from the opposite side and instead its like a desire that comes from higher conscious and or subconscious cognitive understanding formed from the human brains complex analysis of every input it gets through the web of social norms and evaluations and memories and everything that makes up what the brain understands everything to be. how are the two even different. they arent because nothing is different everything is just one infinity inside of itself and i write this same thought down a lot because of its essentiality but i havent been conveying it in a well thought out enough way for sober me to fully grasp its importance. eventually i should dedicate more effort to this particular idea but thats a big undertaking and i have been too lazy to attempt it so far

fuck like i just want the guy to be like standing by himself at the weird french new wave club or something thinking about how disconnected he is from society or whatever the fuck and then he sees me whos like 100 lbs and i have an unconventional haircut and either im like dancing uninhibitedly (representing the innocent and childlike perspective our jaded protagonist needs to offset his disillusionment with society) or im also standing all alone smoking a cig and maybe even reading like [first 20th century philosopher that comes up under suggested results when you type proust’s name into google] ha ha ha im so funny do you see what im doing here im deconstructing the stereotypical indie movie that people on the internet make fun of because genuinely liking it had become too mainstream im sure no one has ever thought of this before as a comedic bit anyway i had this whole other thing about it too like she goes in his car with him and they smoke and exchange like 4 sentences but u can still tell shes the perfect for him bc shes sexy and has pink hair or something i dont know anyway i was just thinking about how i wanna be that.

like wouldnt it be nice to not actually have any thoughts in your head your whole job is to be pretty but not know that youre pretty because apparently you dont fit the societal convention of beauty except you pretty much do in every way except that you like have green eyes instead of blue and you dont wear high heels or something and thats all you have to do you only exist to fulfill some dudes fantasy and if you fulfill that fantasy you’ve reached the ultimate purpose in life and don’t have to worry about accomplishing anything else or pleasing anyone else, maybe thats why some people become super religious because isn’t it pretty much the same exact concept like your ultimate goal is to become jesus’s manic pixie dream girl, or buddha’s maybe i don’t know i am embarrassingly uninformed about eastern religions

i’m already not really very high anymore that’s disappointing bc i finally actually took a bong rip by myself in what felt like the correct way to do it eg it didnt make me cough but i guess it wasn’t the correct way after all i guess me not coughing just meant i didnt get enough in my lungs godsh damn it