#theres probably so much weighing on him its great <3

[snakeoid]

I just know when lucifer said I'm going to my room he went in there to cry. his youngest sister died + lost a war and became a demon + gave birth to an angry baby + taking responsibility for six brothers in a realm that hates them + feels guilty about dragging his brothers down with him + now his brothers keep saying things that (usually unintentionally) make him feel guiltier like personally i'd throw up

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader

seungmin x reader | part seven of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff & angst

↬ warnings; obviously pregnancy, talk of sex/condoms, talk of morning sickness, cursing, child-birth

↬ notes; i feel like my mental health is getting worse and it has been really hard to be positive but i finished this awhile ago, never posted it! just thought to post it today since i just reached 500 followers,, tysm everyone for the support on my posts and following me for content,, i’m waiting for enhypen debut rnnn, it’s really one of the only things keeping me happy n ready. my bias is jungwon :) he’s so adorable n cute i can’t wait + i hope to start writing for enhypen soon when i feel better,, ty guys <3

the night was a one night stand

seungmin had no plans to see you after, you already gone by the morning so it made no different what he wanted afterwards

so with his number in your phone, you decided that texting him would be the best

you texted him your address, asking him to meet with you after u addressed who you were

the best maybe after twelve, seeing as how from nine to eleven you would be occupied with the toilet bowl, the morning sickness really weighing on you

hes there, ready to talk, looking great

ur just there in a t-shirt and sweatpants with slightly messy hair

you seat him on ur couch, pacing in the kitchen before actually beginning to talk

“it broke, or maybe you forgot. i don’t know but you, you got me pregnant.”

i honestly see seungmin being really innocent in this and he’s just made a bad decision which resulted in a baby

“wh-what? no, i used.. i..”

it dawns on him that he can’t remember slipping on a condom before

he’s turned white as a sheet, probably feeling more ill than you

he does the math, figuring you’re around two months, you’re not that far along obviously

“we don’t have to do this, you hardly know me.”

hes shaking his head quickly, “nono, i wanna.. i may never get this chance again. i might not ever meet someone again, so, if it’s with you? i’m fine with that.”

seungmin was there for the next appointment, fully supportive and stepping up

hes scared but so excited

he also moves out of the dorms, raising flags, but he keeps assuring everyone that he was just getting a change of scenery

he claims he got a dog but uh, there isn’t one

he actually moves in with u, an apartment that wasn’t too far away from the dorms and he will time to time spend the night if they need him to

ur actually really understanding of his career and u admire his adjustment

late night with him where u two go to a twenty-four hour convenience store and buy every junk food possible

u also acquired strange cravings such a pineapple and cream cheese or kimchi and chocolate sauce

that night however u rly had a craving for cheese and cheese only

it doesn’t last however, from three to five you are in the bathroom hunched over

he?? isnt?? actually?? the worst partner to get pregnant from a one stand with?????????????????????????????????????????

he’s pretty much a sweetheart

bless everyones heart though when they find out about you

“this is my friend, we are.. having a uh, baby!”

haha surprise...

u swore that jisung’s breath was lost when he said that

chan is fucken freaking out about this

“we’re gonna be uncles!”

everybody screaming and cheering which was a good sign

ur days are average and u guys just act like friends

friends having a baby lmfao

it’s a fine line between dating and not dating

seungmin reaaalllyy likes you but he has this bit of guilt in him for getting you pregnant

ur the one who uprooted your life and ur gonna have a kid for the rest of ur life with him and he’s still living his and doing what he loves

seungmin heart eyes motherfucker when u come to a concert, just there to see him n see what he does for a living

u guys get this cute ass picture of everyone lmfao i just imagine the boys and seungmin standing around and posing with ur small bump

he doesn’t get to go to every single appointment, so his first appointment he went to was when you were around six and a half months

he’s super excited and just super nervous

so many expecting moms its crazy

when your name is called and you two go back, he’s jumping out of his seat and going back with you

the doctor applies the gel on your stomach, the rounded bump sticking out prominently

his hand clasps around yours, fingers laced with yours and he gives you a warm smile

the screen flickers on and theres your baby

it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen

he can clearly see the legs and arms, theres the head!!! he can make out the toes and fingers

then u guys get to hear the heartbeat together

it’s so strong and he just,, wow.. this is real 😣

ur bearing his child, your guys’ baby,, he can hardly believe it

then the doctor asks if u two want to know the gender

“yeah.” 🥺🥺🥺

ofc u could’ve known before but u didn’t know if seungmin wanted to find out or wait n u just would feel guilty if u went ahead

he was rly trying to be as involved as possible, he had a busy schedule and u two weren’t even dating and this whole thing was happening secretly

they turn the monitor for you two to look at, pointing around

“there they are, we have a baby boy.”

seungmin is so taken aback, this all is so .. unreal for him

he’s ready to get the disc with ur ultrasound footage n the heartbeat but also the ultrasound photos 🥺 he’s so in love with your baby boy

u two are just sitting in the office after, ur wiping off ur belly n he’s just like

“i’m in love with you. you and our son — i know, we agreed to co-parenting and no feelings but,” his voice is so strained n he’s just so fragile n so utterly raw, “i couldn’t help it.”

ur fact at first is just frozen and slightly shocked

then ur like 😮🥺😣

“no, cause i was thinking the same exact thing.”

that seals the deal for u two pretty much, ur both emotional wrecks in the exam room

theres the boyfriend and girlfriend dynamic now — seungmin and you sleeping cuddled together

it wasn’t like you two didn’t cuddle before,, but it would usually end up with seungmin silently creeping out of bed or you softly removing his arm or you leaving him gently

u rely on him more, the final trimester hard on you and ur so exhausted and hurting

u two getting the nursery ready together which actually consists of u sitting down rather than actually doing anything

though u will have to teach this boy how to put away bibs and fold baby clothes

u two are young and u both have a lot of explaining to do to your own families, but they are supportive

they r more than happy to teach u two about children and giving tips on these things

blue nursery with lil teddy bears around and its just the cutest, props to room designer seungmin 🤓

baby boy is so stubborn, you’re past your due date and you both want him out

you two try a shit ton of things

name it all: pineapple, spicy foods, raspberry tea, daily walks around the block, literally everything

everything except for the obvious that had been recommended by your obgyn

sex.

both of you two hadn’t really explored in the topic of sex or anything of the sort, it was slightly awkward

you’re five days overdue now, which now you couldn’t even care

“please..! they said it works, even our ob said so!”

he is so cautious about this, but begrudgingly decides to proceed with this idea

he’s so sweet 🥺 but maybe a little too sweet because next thing you know is that two short hours later ur water breaks and u are in labor!!!!

both of you are vv nervous

his hyungs are right there to calm him down, asking you if ur okay and if u need anything

they rly adore their lil minnies baby mama & their lil nephew

seungmin is big daddy deffo

he’s so attached to u 🥺 it hurts to see u in so much pain and he can’t do much to take it away, but he will kiss ur forehead and wipe ur tears away

he personally finds u so angelic as u are quite literally coated in sweat and nearly breaking his hand

it’s finally over, you and seungmin both turning to the tiny baby that just came into the world, both of u crying while laughing at the beet red baby

theres your little baby boy in your arms, squirming at the new coldness and trying to move around in the blanket

all of the boys come in, excited to meet the baby

in amazement you made this adorable, small baby after one night

this experience was everything and more to you both, so glad you weren’t as careful one night and now had the greatest gift given to you: your small son who slept soundly in your arms

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[illfoandillfie]

going under a cut because its long lmao

tarot cards: Queen of Cups, 3 of swords, king of pentacles, knight of wands, 2 of wands, 10 of wands, king of pentacles, the world

okay, before i jump into these cards i just wanted to note that while i was shuffling i had a few cards sort of flip over or like stick out at the wrong angle and i definitely saw the 9 of swords and 8 of swords which both speak to the hopeless/stuck feelings you’ve been having. but neither card fell out or was drawn they just sort of showed themselves to me which means that these feelings aren’t likely to stick around. It’s definitely tied more to your current energy than your future energy.

While i was drawing these cards I was asking about what’s coming in your near future so I was thinking the next few months but timing can be hard to place so if things don’t happen immediately, don’t worry about it, it doesn’t mean they never will.

So, now to the actual cards. First up the queen of cups and the 2 of wands. I think this is a call for compassion and kindness, probably towards yourself. The two of wands is about a desire for the unknown. Making plans, deliberating, hesitating. And the queen of cups is calm and comforting and compassionate. Together these are a reminder to not beat yourself up for what is out of your control. Sometimes circumstances keep us from getting what we really want. Sometimes it’s our own fears or uncertainty but sometimes it’s to do with family or work or the state of the world. But, sometimes the delay can be a blessing. It’s a good time to reflect on what you want and plan for how you can bring it about. The queen of cups can be read as a visionary. She is wise and devoted and is tied to dreams becoming reality. If things don’t seem to be progressing, use this time to take care of yourself and get in touch with your own needs and desires. Figure out what you’re looking for so that you recognise it when you see it.

Next up is the 3 of swords and the 10 of wands. Admittedly, neither of these are especially happy cards. The 3 of swords in particular is tied to heartache and suffering, disruptive forces, and absence. You feel as if something is missing and its weighing on you. Similarly the 10 of wands is symbolic of burdens and suffering but it’s a hopeful card. It’s also about success, though it might come at a cost, and accomplishment. This is a promise that things will turn around for you within the near future, that they’ll get better. It won’t be easy, sometimes it will be a great struggle as if you’re carrying more than you should be, but there is success at the end of it.

Because next up we have double king of pentacles. I gasped when the second king came out because it doesn’t happen very often and I remember the king of pentacles came up in your previous readings. As I’m sure I have said before, the king of pents signifies abundance, prosperity and security but i won’t go too deep into what qualities he’s tied too since i’ve said it before. What I will talk about is why he’s appeared twice in the same column. So, if we look at your cards so far, we have a mix of hurt and hope. And i think thats why the king of pents is in there twice. Because his absence is part of the hurt right now but his potential arrival is part of the hope. He represents both what is missing and what you’re trying to find. But, hopefully his showing up here is a sign that he could approach soon. Like I said in our chat, it’s not guaranteed and you need to put in effort to meet him or, if you think you know who it is, to connect with him, but I do think his appearance here twice is a good sign.

And finally, the knight of wands and the world. The knight of wands is about action and adventure and energy. He’s on the move, he’s confident and excited and fearless. And the world is about fulfilment and harmony and completion. It’s assured success. It might come after a long journey but it will come. Interestingly the knight of wands is also linked to travel and departure and altered plans. He can represent absence as well as distance so again we have that duality of hurt and hope. This may be a sign that the king of pents was meant to come towards you sooner but circumstances changed and he’s had to change course. It could also be a message for you to try to overcome whatever limits you are placing on yourself to manifest this relationship. At a very basic level or could also just indicate that the king of pents, whoever his is, is linked to travel somehow - maybe he travels for work or he just likes taking trips or maybe you’ll meet him while commuting somewhere. Either way, stay open to the possibility of meeting him. Stay hopeful that it will work out. Because, as scary or hard as that 3 of swords may feel, there is a lot to be hopeful about in here.

a couple of other things i want to point out:

We start with the queen of cups and the last card of that row is the knight of wands. their energies are very different. the queen is soft and tender and empathetic. She’s calm and soothing and still. the knight is bold and courageous and ambitious. he’s about movement and taking chances because he feels bulletproof. this could be a message about what you can do to help manifest your king. Take action, put yourself out there, don’t be afraid to cut loose and show your passionate side. (Or, because its hard not to be afraid, fake it until you make it. act confident until confidence is second nature.)

Then, the second row. It starts with the 2 of wands which is a card that usually depicts a man holding a globe to signify his desires. And then we end with The World. If that’s not a hopeful message then i don’t know what is.

okay, onto your oracles. 

I started with a crystal spirit and you got number 6 - Aqua Aura Quartz. It represents: Connecting to infinite potential, a renewed sense of purpose, wonder, and awe. I don’t always quote directly from the guidebook but theres a little second in there that i feel really fits with your situation so i’m gonna quote it. It says: There are eight billion people on this planet, yet soul mates somehow find each other, friends and lovers show up in the most unexpected places, and love makes itself known just as you are beginning to doubt that is is out there for you. Aqua Aura Quartz Spirit’s message to you today is to become childlike with wonder. Believe in magic. Believe in the power of love to find its way to you no matter how dark the house, for love is everywhere and you have not been forgotten.  As an aside, if you’re into numerology the number 6 may hold significance for you - it could be related to your life path number or it could be an important date (6th of feb/march? something in june?).

After that I pulled a Moonology card and you got Full Moon in Scorpio - It’s time to release negativity. This is definitely a sign to try and shake off the hopelessness you’ve been feeling. I know that’s probably easier said than done but it would be worth it to try. 

While we’re on the subject of the moon and astrology, I got 2 Arcana of Astrology cards the Waxing Crescent Moon and the Ninth House. The waxing crescent represents growth and initiative. Growth comes in two phases. firstly, the obstacles which are negative patters from the past and secondly, the actions which are changes made to move forward. This card indicates that now is a good time to focus on that second part of growth. Focus your energy towards what you want to accomplish rather than what has happened in the past. Then the ninth house  which is the realm of philosophy. It’s about knowledge and truth and the desire for understanding. This card is letting you know that now is the right time to look outside your comfort zone and explore new ideas or opportunities. Interestingly the ninth house in astrology can also involve travel and exploration which definitely ties in into some of your tarot cards. 

Next we have a Dragon Path card - number 8, Magic and Manifestation. These dragons are here to help you turn your dreams into reality. Because you pulled this card I also pulled you some cards from my Making Magic deck. Originally I just wanted 1 but 3 popped out at once so I took them all. These cards all depict a sigil or symbol that can be used in spellwork or that you can focus on to help manifest what you want. They are: Love Charm - Attract a lover, soul mate or life partner / Triple Spiral - Listening to divine wisdom and joyfully learning life’s lessons. / Goddess - Healing feminine energy. Obviously love charm is a good fit but I think the others are as well. A lot of these cards have related to healing and moving forward and then the triple spiral really seemed to fit in with the knowledge thing in the ninth house and potentially with the visionary aspect of the queen of cups. 

Tarot: 3 of cups, 3 of swords, 3 of wands, queen of pentacles, ace of swords, 4 of pentacles, 6 of cups, 2 of cups. 

Okay. so onto the second part of the reading. With these cards I was trying to focus on getting more info about you person, the king of pents, the soul mate, whatever you want to call them. 

So right off the bat I have to point out the 3 different 3s. I can assure you these cards were well shuffled and it wasn’t like they all came out in a clump together, it was one and then some shuffling and then the next and then shuffling and then the third one. I was very surprised to have so many 3s come out together. The 3s represent sociability and group communications as well as coming change. The only one that isn’t there is the 3 of pentacles which is usually related to group work - people collaborating and working together. 

So lets start with that 3 of cups. This card is about friendship and community and happiness. Often it depicts a group of women drinking and dancing together so it’s very much about gatherings and parties and social settings but at a deeper level its about knowing someone has your back, that you’ve got people you can trust to help you. It’s being clarified by the ace of wands (these are Friends themed playing cards and each has the name of an episode on them so i’ll include those, in case they hold significance - perhaps one of the storylines will be relevant. The ace of swords is The One Where Rachel Finds Out). The ace of swords is about breakthroughs, clarity, the truth, and having a sharp mind. It may be that someone you know will help you clarify the situation or that a breakthrough will occur at a party or other social event. This could also be saying that, when you eventually meet this person, they will become a valued friend, someone who you can trust, someone you can turn to. 

Then we have that pesky 3 of swords card again, same as in the previous part of the reading. All that heartache and pain again. This time it’s with the 4 of pentacles (The One With All The Wedding Dresses) which is about holding what you have close. In worst case scenarios the 4 of pents can reference hoarding or holding onto something for fear of losing it but at it’s highest vibration it’s about protecting what is yours. Together this could be a message of “no pain no gain”. Without going through the grief of the 3 of swords you can’t appreciate the security or conservation of the 4 of pents. This could also be a sign or warning for you or your person about not letting pain of the past manifest in overly clingy or needy displays once you are together. On the other hand it could be about turning past hurts and present worries into affection and care. In relation to your person, these cards may symbolise that they’re financially stable or prone to being careful with money. Perhaps they have been through patches of having little to live off so are careful with how they spend what they now have. 

Then we have the 3 of wands and 6 of cups. The 3 of wands is related to growth and expansion and looking ahead. It’s about preparation, getting ready for something. The 6 of cups (The One With The Proposal) id related to familiarity, happy memories and healing. Often this card comes up in relation to past life connections (if you’re into that) or people you’ve previously met. There’s momentum here. The 3 of wands suggests you’re getting ready for them, looking ahead to when you may meet and the 6 of cups suggests moving on from past pain or trauma that’s been holding you back. In relation to your person these cards suggest there could be an element of familiarity between you - perhaps you met once a few years ago or you’ve heard about them from a friend and feel as if you have an idea of them already. The 3 of wands also has a connection to travel so, again, it might be that they travel a lot or have travelled in the past or they’re someone who enjoys visiting new places and seeing new things. It could also be that they’re a joyful sort of person, perhaps a bit silly or jokey. 

And then we have the Queen of Pentcles and the 2 of cups. I think it was in one of your previous readings that you came up as the queen of pents. Certainly, if this person is the king of pents it makes sense for the queen to be you. And especially with the 2 of cups (The One With Ross’s New Girlfriend) clarifying it. As I’ve said before the 2 of cups is about connection and partnership and unity. It’s pretty much the ideal soul mate card. So, that’s a pretty great note to end this part of the reading on. 

And lastly, the oracles. I didn’t intend to pull quite so many but this is what came out so this is what we’re going with. 

First up here’s what the 3 heart shaped cards have to say: When it comes to matters of the heart, there is no right or wrong. Every choice you make expands your understanding of life and love. / Time - You are trying too hard. Give it time. / Embrace - Through each other you find the missing pieces. So there’s definitely a sense of slowing down, not rushing or trying to force something that isn’t there. But there’s also reassurance that this connection is reachable and will be deep and what you’re looking for. Soul Mate, Twin Flame, that kind of thing. 

Then we have 3 romance angels: Make The Effort - Great love is worth taking the steps you’re guided to take. / Let Your Friends Help You - Ask for and accept support from others. / Forgiving And Learning - As you release and heal the past, you experience more love in your present moments. Interestingly while the previous cards were saying to give things time, these ones seem to suggest making active moves to make it happen. I think there’s a balance required. One that you will intuitively be able to work out. Somewhere between sitting at home and waiting for him to magically appear, and going out with every guy in your town or city. If you meet someone or know someone you think could be the right person, take whatever steps you feel are right. I also think the Let Your Friends Help card is important considering how many 3s we got in the tarot cards. It may be that this connection is possible through a friend or family member who can set you up or will help you approach them. And the last one has that same healing energy we’ve seen a few times in this reading. 

You also got 2 Spellcasting oracles. Happiness and Manifestation. Both of these make sense really. They both indicate a positive outlook and happy outcomes. Manifestation can also be about patience as it’s not an instantaneous thing which ties into that Time heart card. 

And finally I got 2 Destiny cards as well - Boldness and Compassion. These could be traits that your person will show but interestingly they can be linked to the knight of wands and queen of cups from the beginning of the reading. 

[popatochisssp]

So your recent chapter in snips and snails has had me thinking. How would other skellies react if their bro started falling for their SO? Would they all be up for polyamory or would some tell their bro to get over it, or they break up with SO as to push them toward their brother. This information is important for my daydreaming

Anonymous: Heyo! Are you doing hc’s right now? If so, what are your ideas for a polyamorous relationship with sans/so/papyrus? I know you mentioned it with FGTC, but how would the other boys do? Thank you and ilysm!!             

Well, the short version of these questions seems to be– “Can I make it work if I want to smooch both brothers?”

And the answer to that question as far as I’m concerned is yes! Ultimately, all skeles would be down for this kind of relationship!

…But some of them are going to have an easier road than others.

Yes, it’s the ‘fells that are on the Struggle Bus, of course it is, those boys have issues.

Undertale:

They’re a great combo!

They already know each other so well and love/respect one another that looping you into their relationship as a romantic branch is the easiest thing in the world.

They both balance the other out really well, to the point that dating them both might even make for a more harmonious relationship than choosing just one: Papyrus won’t shy away from lecturing Sans when his laziness may be letting you down, and Sans knows how to gently point out when Papyrus might be unintentionally talking over you or pushing too hard at something.

There’s no jealousy between them and you’re all grown, mature adults more than capable of navigating a three-person relationship.

Underswap:

Another great choice!

Much like the classic Sans-Papyrus pair, the Sky-Paps match-up isn’t just functional, it’s hyper-functional.

Their brotherly relationship is strong and they’re great at meeting and handling situations as a team, and you’re no different. Most of your time with them will be spent as a trio rather than duos with an odd man out since that’s what they do anyway– you’re just along for the ride! When one-on-one time does come around, they’ll pass you off to the other without hesitation, no jealousy to be found and just a nuzzle on your cheek and an encouragement to have fun.

Even the usually clingy Sky doesn’t mind giving you and Paps space when you want it since there’s no one he trusts and loves more than his (big) little brother, and Paps might actually feel a little more driven to impress and woo you when he sees the lengths Sky regularly goes to. Maybe he can’t one-up his big brother’s efforts, but it reminds him that you’re special and deserving of the attention and he’ll show you so in his own, more understated way.

They balance each other out in so many ways that it won’t ever feel like you’re trying to juggle them to make things work. As long as you love them, they’ll love you right back and your relationship is practically self-sustaining!

Underfell:

You must not be shy of challenges, because you’ve gotten yourself into some rocky waters with this one.

They’ll both agree to this pretty quickly without much fuss– sharing a datemate with their brother, the only person who always had their back underground and would die for them, and vice versa? Of course, there’s no one they’d rather trust you with than their own brother!

They say that, and for the most part they do mean it, but… there are some very well-buried landmines here and you will find at least one of them in the course of this relationship.

For Jasper, it’s bitterness: here’s yet another thing in his life that he’s giving up for his brother’s sake. It’s not Pyre he resents but the situation and how exceedingly unfair the circumstances of his life have been so far. He lost his childhood to raising and protecting Pyre while he was young, and then he had to play his toady and listen to barked orders and snapped insults so Pyre could maintain a fearsome reputation and neither of them would get too severely messed with. And then now here’s this, a datemate he can’t even keep all to himself because you love his baby brother, too. It stings, but he’ll try to quash it down since he loves you and Pyre too deeply to ever want to cause problems for you.

Meanwhile Pyre is masking his own issues, namely jealous insecurity. He loves Jasper, too, and he deeply respects the sacrifices his big brother made for him Underground both in adolescence and adulthood, but…well, it’s not as if he had it easy! Jasper’s initially low HP meant that no matter how strong a fighter he was, there’d always be somebody who saw him as easy EXP, somebody trying to kill them both because they could– that was why he worked his way up to Captain of the Royal Guard and trained so hard to become an efficient, deadly soldier, so that he could be intimidating enough that most monsters wouldn’t even want to try attacking him or somebody under his command. That’s why he had to distance himself from everyone else, even the brother he was trying to protect, just in case someone tried to take advantage of a social connection. He was completely emotionally isolated for a long time, with a lot weighing on his shoulders: his duties, his brother’s safety, his own safety, and Jasper…

Jasper didn’t have to shoulder any of that once Pyre took responsibility.

Pyre knows, intellectually, that Jasper suffered at least as bad for a long time, but emotionally it hurt and made Pyre a little angry to see him socializing freely with the lowlifes at Grillby’s and sleeping openly at his illegal hot-dog stands. Jasper couldn’t have been totally carefree, no one could be underground, but he had the luxury of being very close to it thanks to Pyre’s status, which Pyre maintained at his own expense. And now, it feels like Jasper is taking advantage of him again, casually charming his way into your good graces and seducing you away from him.

He’s fairly certain he’s going to lose you, actually, since he knows that his older brother is the more personable of the two of them and he hates the waiting, he kinda wants to just end it himself and let Jasper have you…

But, same as Jasper, Pyre loves both of you dearly and he knows that abruptly breaking up with you would hurt you, and that Jasper would figure out why he did it and be even more hurt plus guilty over it, so he bites his tongue.

They’re both going to stew in silence over it and are fully committed to doing so for the rest of your natural lives– you’re going to have to mediate this if you want to have any hope of a healthy relationship.

It won’t be too hard to figure out what’s going on with them individually, they’re both very salty skeletons that can mostly keep quiet about the things bugging them, but there’s a lot of snide and bitter quips muttered under their breath that you’re usually close enough to hear and draw conclusions from. At that point, you need to sit down with them and force a discussion; play whatever hard-ball you must to get them to talk, this is too important to sweep under the rug just because it’s awkward and painful.

They’ll be stilted at first and need a lot of prodding to keep going, embarrassed that their datemate is playing counselor for them, but soon enough they’ll start talking on their own. Yelling on their own. Screaming at each other and breaking shit on their own.

They’ve been repressing a lot of emotions for a long time and now that they’re flowing it’s like a tsunami, one you should probably get out of the splash zone of while they get it all out.

You don’t have to worry about them actually hurting each other, there’s far too much love between them for that and once the anger and bitterness is out there in the open, they realize that, too. There’s gonna be tears and broken sobs and fierce hugging and that’s your cue to get back on in there and take care of your boys– they love each other, they love you, and you love them right back, it doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that.

Once the dust is settled, you’re theirs for life, no take-backs. You came into their home, showed them love and affection, and helped them get their brother back after years of tension and walking on eggshells: if you think they’re ever going to let you go now, you’re dead-wrong.

There’s going to be days when you almost regret emotionally reconciling them because when they’re not bickering over petty nonsense or competing with each other, they are the most terrifyingly efficient team you’ve ever seen. They’ll casually join forces against you whenever it suits them and you don’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell. They love and respect you of course, they’d never hurt or take advantage of you, but the combined force of Jasper’s rough charm and Pyre’s slick cunning means that you’re not often going to find yourself ‘winning’ in your relationship.

On the bright side, your romantic life is positively scorching between these two fiery personalities and the loving passion they have for you is more than enough of a balm on any wounds you might take to your pride. ;3

Swapfell:

Deceptively easy.

At first, they’re both very excited and on-board for this. As far as they’re concerned, there’s no one better in the world to share their datemate with than their own brother, someone trustworthy that they love unconditionally and don’t have to worry about losing you to, since they obviously wouldn’t try to steal you from each other.

And that’s true, because if there’s a problem it won’t be something they did, it’ll be what you did. Or maybe more accurately, what you didn’t do.

There’s really only one way to screw this up, but it’s a hard and fast death sentence for the relationship if you start neglecting Rus or playing favorites with Mal instead.

Rus is a needy guy, not too prone to jealousy but very prone to insecurity when the conditions are right, and Mal is one of the hardest (albeit unintentional) hitter of those buttons. His big brother, the one who’s taken care of him his whole life, protected him and sacrificed for him, Rus thinks Mal is a really cool guy. He’s not surprised at all that you want to date him, but he is surprised that you want to date Mal’s living disaster of a brother, too.

If you’re not careful and spend too much time with Mal or side with him all the time or do anything that could indicate you have a significant preference for one brother over the other, Rus is probably gonna jump to some conclusions and now it makes sense to him why you’re not just dating his brother– it’s ‘cause it’s a pity thing…isn’t it?

Mal is the one you really want  but you or Mal or maybe both of you noticed his pathetic interest in you and decided to toss him a bone. To make him feel better. Yaaaay.

His aversion to conflict means that he’s definitely never going to say anything to either of you, ever, but his 'realization’ (whether it’s true or not, almost certainly not) is painful and he won’t be able to help sulking and shying away from your affection for awhile.

That, for Mal, is as good as an actual, physical red flag. He’s sharp and knows his brother well enough to piece together everything that’s happened in Rus’ self-deprecating skull and as far as he’s concerned, there’s only one course of action from here: he’s gonna try to wriggle himself out of the relationship entirely and push you towards Rus.

Mal loves his baby brother fiercely and since he already blames his failings as a pseudo-parent for the anxiety and insecurity he struggles with, the absolute last thing he wants to do is hurt him by taking his datemate away. It’s a no-brainer to remove himself from the situation if he’s distracting you from Rus, but once it’s progressed to this point, there’s no positive outcome for anyone.

Rus is now convinced he’s the pity-boyfriend and feels awful that you don’t get to be with Mal anymore because he couldn’t hide his dumb feelings better. Mal is upset that he can’t be with you, and a little upset with you for not loving his little brother enough to begin with and making this choice necessary. And of course, you’re gonna be hurting, too, because one of your boyfriends thinks he’s your consolation prize and the other isn’t even your boyfriend anymore.

But of course, that’s the Worst Case Scenario.

To make this work, you just need to be fair about sharing your time and affection, which in healthy polyamory, you should probably already be doing! But if for some reason, you can’t do that, skew slightly in Rus’ favor. Mal can be jealous and selfish but he’s more than willing to make room for his brother’s happiness, and he knows that he’s welcome to edge into yours and Rus’ time together if he really wants– Rus has no problems sharing, he just gets a little upset if he thinks he’s the second choice.

If you put in the time and effort to assure Rus that you’re dating him because you care about him, this actually becomes one of the easiest bro-combos possible. Mal and Rus have a less contentious relationship than the other ‘fell brothers and with less buried anger and bitterness between them their bond is already strong and relatively healthy when you enter the mix.

Your integration is like finding the perfect centerpiece to tie an already-stylish room together. Mal plans all the dates and budgets your time between them in the most efficient way possible, while Rus makes sure you and him still get some time to relax and screw around at home. They work very well together as brothers and as your co-boyfriends with about equal importance placed on each role, so you’ll feel nothing but cherished and wanted between the two of them. Make sure to return the favor!

Horrortale:

Yes, a fantastic idea!

They’re both delighted that you asked and agree to share you pretty much immediately, without even a little fuss.

Slate and Papy are arguably the most codependent of the brothers (understandably, considering their shared trauma of the famine) and they’re also probably the most emotionally open with one another as a result, so if a poly relationship seems like it’s becoming a possibility with you, they’re going to get everything talked out and openly agreed upon for a very smooth transition.

It’s actually…kind of an ideal situation for both of them, in a way? Their issues and insecurities are…well, there’s a good deal of them and they’re both a tad concerned that the weight of it might be too much for you alone. They don’t want to overwhelm you or put too much pressure on you just because they’re a little… ‘broken’ is the wrong word for it, but they’re far from undamaged, either!

But with the other brother in the mix, the same one who’s always been there to support his sibling even before you came along, so much of that pressure is taken off.

Slate doesn’t worry that you’re going to suffer from his dissociation and memory problems because he knows Papy is there with his sharp mind and attention to detail to pick up the slack. Likewise, Papy doesn’t worry quite so much on his bad days that you’re secretly unhappy or would be better off without him because Slate is around, who even with a hole in his skull is naturally charming and very skilled at reading people– if you had any complaints, Slate would know and pass them along so they could make you as content as possible!

The end result is that they both relax and don’t psych themselves out quite as much as they might without their brother, and you get to see them as close to their old, pre-horror selves as they can get. Papy is a little more confident and Slate jokes around more and they both treat you like you make the sun rise every morning because you’re the one that loves them both enough to let this relationship be a thing they can have and that’s so cool.

There’s not a drop of jealousy over you from either of them, especially when they can see first-hand that you’re making their brother as happy as you make them, so this is a pretty harmonious and loving match-up, with a lot of potential for success!

[zerochanges]

Valentine’s Chocolates and Glass Masks

The romance genre in anime is a little weird, and honestly on the whole the majority of the genre in anime is probably a bit too slow for its own good. “Will they or won’t they” is something most romantic fiction is guilty of, but I think you’d be hard press to come across 150 episode TV series dedicated solely to that premise anywhere else. And this has nothing on the pure silliness that can come with the genre; hand holding, indirect kisses, masked secret admirers, all that good stuff. Really, I’m not here to trash talk romantic anime though, but as I sat down and tried to think about writing a Valentine's Day blog post I just couldn't help but think to myself how romance anime might be the hardest to explain to anyone not in the fandom. I mean, I think I’d have an easier time explaining the plot of any given saga in DBZ than I would explaining “Notice me, senpai” to somebody.

You know what though, I kind of ironically enjoy all of this. Yeah, pure romance anime can be cheesy, but it’s just the right amount cheese that it’s like, c’mon, how can you not enjoy this? Perhaps the worst (or best!) offender of this are older shoujo titles where they can seem almost downright like a soap opera at times. Shows like these are just so full of bizarre, off-the-walls, and over-the-top melodrama that they manage to suck me completely in. They’re heartbreaking, they’re engaging, and the times when they fail at being those things they are hilarious. 

My most recent experience with an older shoujo title like this would have to be studio Eiken’s 1984 adaptation of Glass Mask. Now Glass Mask (or Glass no Kamen as it is known by some) is a manga that started life in 1976 and to this day has yet to be finished, with the manga creator Suzue Miuchi stating she would like to finish it soon, but hasn't quite figured out when that will be (move over Hunter x Hunter fans). Having been one of the earlier shoujo titles starting back in the mid-70’s the series is full to the brim with pretty much every cliche and trope you can think of for shoujo anime, and to a modern audience it can often be almost hilarious at times to sit through. It is important to remember that for its time Glass Mask was a trend-setter and arguably if not the creator than certainly the reason why a lot of these cliches became cliches in the first place. Over the years Glass Mask has received its fair share of adaptations and even parodies, and currently has 3 different animes as well as a live action drama series and real life stage plays based on it. I heard the most recent anime, the 2005 TMS adaptation of Glass Mask, does a pretty great job at modernizing several aspects of the series, but unfortunately I have yet to watch that to weigh in so all I can say is that I was inundated with more cliches than I could count and laughed a ton while watching the 1984 series and I loved every minute of it. 

Glass Mask is the story of a young 13 year old girl Maya Kitajima, who has a dream to be a great theatre actress. Unfortunately for Maya she’s from a very poor family, and even more unfortunately for her, she is incredibly average looking with no flair--and don’t worry, the anime will remind you of that fact countless times every episode. Despite her damnable curse of “just looking kind of average” Maya will stop at nothing to pursue her dream and eventually runs away from home after getting a scholarship for an acting school. There, the enigmatic Chigusa Tsukikage notices Maya’s talents and takes her on as her protege. Soon, Maya learns that her mentor Tsukikage was once a legendary actress thought to be truly one of the all time greats who due to a tragic Phantom of the Opera style accident had her face hideously scarred and retreated out of the spotlight. 

Tsukikage is looking to pass on her talents to the future generation and eventually pass on her greatest possession, the rights to the elusive Crimson Goddess play--a supposed legendary masterpiece that has not been seen by anyone in decades; not since Tsukikage’s career ruining accident. For some reason the director and creator of the the Crimson Goddess play saw it fit to beseech all the rights to his masterpiece to Tsukikage and thus nobody else has been able to produce this elusive phantom play since. It won’t be easy for Maya and the Tsukikage acting school, as media conglomerate and mega corporation Daito Entertainment will stop at nothing to get the rights to the Crimson Goddess, and isn't afraid to sabotage them at every step of the way. Perhaps Maya’s greatest rival however is the young Ayumi Himekawa, the daughter of an already famous actress who is said to be the favorite to inherit the Crimson Goddess role, and is everything Maya isn't; beautiful, rich, famous and well loved by all, and while not a student of Tsukikage she is more than willing to pass on the rights to Himekawa if Maya fails to prove herself.

It’s easy to already see the cheesiness just from me trying my best to summarize the basic plot, and we haven’t even gotten into the romances yet. Maya’s relationship with the young Yu Sakurakoji is fairly simple at first, as he helped rescue her from a feral dog and despite being in rival acting schools--one affiliated under Daito no less, he’s a pretty chill guy that enjoys spending time with her and doesn't care about all that stuff. It’s only after Maya starts to take off in her career that Sakurakoji starts to spiral into this insane inferiority complex centered around her, where he thinks she has become too good an actress for him to be around anymore and starts to give her the cold shoulder all because of his own make-believe shortcomings. It’s very odd and sudden, and the entire thing is blown out of proportions as Maya clearly does not think that and Sakurakoji eventually has to be lectured by bad boy Masumi of all people to come around and start spending time with Maya again. Even after this however it isn't like the old days anymore and the gap that was created from his own complex still lingers.

And oh boy, don’t get me started on Masumi, he’s quite the character. Masumi Hayami is the 24 year old son of the president of Daito Entertainment and is currently running the corporation in his father’s stead. Masumi serves as both an antagonist and love interest (because of course he can be both) in the early parts of the story and is often behind some (but not all) the sabotage done to Tsukikage’s acting school. Masumi will eventually take a more reasonable approach when it comes to trying to yank the rights of the Crimson Goddess away from Tsukikage’s hands as the anime progresses, often just by having his acting school beating Tsukikage’s students in contest and the like, and it’s here where we usually see Masumi’s employees that work under him being the more underhanded characters instead of Masumi directly engaging in the conflict.

Despite being on different sides, so to speak, Masumi catches one of Maya’s earliest performances, her role as Beth in Little Women, and falls in love with the young girl, impressed by both her potential as an actress and her fortitude for going on with the show despite suffering from a dangerously high fever and immediately being rushed to the doctors after the curtains fall. From this point on her takes the role of “Mr Purple Rose” named for the bouquet of purple roses he sends to her at every show. As her secret admirer and the first fan Maya has ever had he means a lot to her yet as his true identity of Masumi he’s an enemy that Maya cannot stand to breathe the same air as. So in short, Masumi is just your average 24 year old CEO of a mega corporation crushing on a 13 year old girl from a small acting school he is trying to ruin and also her secret admirer. Somehow Masumi is one of the best characters in the series, and is my best boy. Only in shoujo!

So far I've been having some cheap laughs at the expense of the 1984 Glass Mask anime but it’s not all like this. The over-the-top bombardment of old school shoujo cliches and the laughs I got from them may be one of the most memorable component of my viewing but there’s actually a lot more to this anime than that. When you get beyond the silly age gap romances and the flowery melodrama of young teenage love, Glass Mask is a story of artists trying to pursue their passions and dedicating their everything to them. Maya may be cursed to forever be “only average looking” but I really respect her drive to dedicate her entire life to theatre. 

Well, that is to say, the times when she isn't acting like punching bag to the rest of the cast (Glass Mask has a tendency to make Maya into a Cinderella surrounded by tons of wicked stepsisters). When Maya is written not as a Cinderella she’s fiercely determined, and never backs down despite some straight-up abusive behavior she is put through. At times her mentor Tsukikage is absolutely savage, regularly beating Maya and putting her through some training that is definitely highly illegal, at least for today’s standards. For instance she once threw Maya in a shed and locked the door refusing to let her out until she finally understood her character she was assigned. Did I mention it was in the middle of the freezing cold winter and snowing out and Maya only had the clothes on her back for warmth? She was out there for days with no food, water, or even warmth. But don’t worry, she had her script to read and that made it all okay. Like goddamn, somebody call child protective services on this lady.

Speaking about “the art” and everyone’s passions, the more you watch the series the more it becomes obvious that the creator, Suzue Miuchi, really cares for theatre and isn't just using it as a vehicle to propel her own story. There are countless renditions of classic plays shown in Glass Mask, such as the mentioned already Little Women, The Miracle Worker, and Wuthering Heights, just to name a few. Some of these plays are presented without any changes while others may have reinterpretations made to them by the characters who are trying to give their roles a life of their own away from the original source material. Miuchi very much understands theatre and does a great job converting many famous plays into a more compressed and easily digestible form of entertainment that can be viewed on a week by week bases. The analysis characters give about the plays and other characters’ performances, the ways characters interpret their parts, and how the plays that we are privy to see in the series end up all show a deeper understanding of the medium. Watching Glass Mask is almost like taking a beginning course in theatre that covers all the classics, only with way more melodrama and over-the-top romance than you will find in your local theatre group. I hope.

What’s the most impressive however goes beyond just Miuchi’s renditions of other classic works and instead are her own plays that she creates herself. As not only does Glass Mask use pre-existing plays it also has its own original productions that will spring up in-between the real world plays. A lot of these self created plays are very enjoyable too, and some feel way more fleshed out than they have any right to be and you often find yourself regretting that you are only privy to a small part of the performance and not able to just sit there and watch the entire play like the characters in the anime do. Maybe that’s why it shouldn't be too much of a surprise that some of the plays Miuchi has created for her manga have later been adapted into real life plays in Japanese theatres. This is probably the greatest testament to the series’ popularity right there, where its own fictional works are turned real. I can’t think of many examples of something like that happening before.

I’d be remiss not to mention the visual aspect of this series before wrapping up my thoughts on it too. While certainly no powerhouse in animation, Glass Mask 1984 goes for a more picturesque route, and does a great job with tons of beautiful still shots and intricately detailed background images. It’s a humble production but with the right use of lighting a lot of scenes can really shine (pardon the terrible pun it was an accident), especially the night shots which can be pure art. Hang it in a museum, I say. I’m almost surprised we don’t see more “aesthetic” anime blogs mining images from this series. Veteran director Gisaburo Sugii (Dororo, Touch, Osamu Tezuka’s Phoenix) leads the production with skilled marksmanship you would expect from his previous (and future) pedigree, and along with legendary animator the late Shingo Araki (Ashita no Joe, Galaxy Express 999, Saint Seiya) the series has a wonderful 80’s flair to it that just fills any retro anime fan full of nostalgia whether or not they have seen the show before.

Studio Eiken’s 1984 Glass Mask adaptation is a short, briskly paced 22 episode series that is easy on the eyes and not hard at all to still sit through for modern audiences. It’s full of tons of laughs (both ironic and sincere) as well as tons of melodrama and over-the-top romance. Most importantly though, it’s a full of passion; lots and lots of passion. During its short episode count the series watches Maya progress as an actress and grow older, with her finishing middle school and beginning high school while also balancing full time acting jobs on the side. The ending is left open--and let’s face it the manga hasn't even ended some 35 years later still--but there’s enough forward momentum in the series to really feel like your time with the characters wasn't wasted and that they were able to accomplish something--not to mention the ending spot is a pretty decent one leaving the viewer wanting more but enjoying a satisfying conclusion to one of the more interesting story arcs adapted. Overall I think anyone who enjoys cheesy anime romance can sit down with this series and have a fun Valentine’s.

[slytherinshawn-blog]

suns out

dabbling in this realm of fanfic writing. this was inspired in part based on a true story and in part based on a dream that i had so theres that 

summary: you find yourself in a music store in downtown los angeles where a certain superstar admires your work

word count: 3.3k

It’s roughly 3:17 pm when you’re sick and tired of the heat outside, the sun blaring down on your skin like it has any business to do so. You and your best friend had been exploring the town since early that morning, doing a late breakfast at some café a local had recommended. 

Traveling was one of those things you just loved to do. You loved being in a new city as often as possible, as much as your work schedule and bank account would allow it.

School got in the way too, which is why the two of you took trips on your summer breaks. This time, you found yourselves in Los Angeles, downtown, the biggest pair of tourists you could probably imagine. You were only here for a week, the hefty California price tags weighed down on your ability to stay for too long, as the hotel you two had booked was already expensive enough.

You spent the morning doing typical tourist things, exploring the walk of fame and catching a cab to Hollywood where you could ogle at the mansions that lined the hills. The pavement burned beneath your feet, the summer heat in L.A. reaching a ridiculously high index that had your skin on fire. “Oh – hey! Look, a music store,” you pointed out to your friend. The front of the store you could see only a few strides away, it was worn out and cool, the letters faded, windows littered with concert flyers. “Can we go in? Just for a minute, alright? I’m dying out here,” you complained to her, your hand blocking the sun above your eyes. She laughed at your distaste for the heat and agreed, the two of you heading inside.

The cool air hit you like a kind embrace, and instantly you felt refreshed, sweat drying up on your forehead. “God,” you groaned in relief. The store was relatively empty, an older man stood behind the counter, flipping through a book he had sprawled out in front of him. There were a few others, young men with long hair who stood around a set of drums, their fingers dragging across the shining surface and their voices a mere echo in the background. “Welcome, how are you ladies?” The man behind the counter asked, and you shot him your best smile. “I’m wonderful now, thank you. The sun is absolutely insane today, we just had to come in and take a break.” The man agreed with you, “Feel free to stay a while, have a look around.”

Slowly, your eyes scan the small store, a wall of music books and old rolling stones magazines lined behind the counter and to the back for as far as you could see. The drums and percussion instruments you had already passed, leaving the young men to admire in peace. You were mostly interested in finding the guitars, the one instrument you moderately knew how to play. Your dad taught you when you were young, his days of being in a garage band far behind him yet not forgotten. He had passed the skill down to you, and although you didn’t practice or play every day, occasionally you would hear a song and be driven to go home and learn an acoustic adaption of it. You weren’t the best, but you imagine had you put as much passion into it as your dad encouraged, you could be a lot better. “I’m going to go find the guitars,” you informed your friend, and she nodded her head to acknowledge, her fingers flipping through vinyls on one end of the store.

Your feet carried you to the back, where there was a room set up that acoustic guitars lined far above where your arms could reach. There was a small amp and a stool set up in the middle of the room where guests could get a feel for their potential new instrument. Outside of those walls were the electrics, rows of Gibson’s whose price tag was untouchable to your budget and could only be admired. They were classic and beautiful, and you aspired to save enough money one day to buy your dad the Les Paul gold top guitar he dreamed of. After admiring the electric guitars to your liking, you made your way into the more secluded room full of acoustics. There were Fenders, and Martins, and Taylors all around, your eyes gravitating to a baby Taylor that sat in a stand. You picked it up and took a seat at the stool in the center of the room. The guitar was familiar in your hands, like the one that you owned although far less scuffed. Your fingers got accustomed to the new strings, and you played a familiar finger-style rendition that your dad taught you years ago. It was pretty and haunting and your favorite piece that you had ever learned.

Soon, you switched into another melody, playing a song that you had heard on the radio a few weeks prior. A pop song by Ariana Grande that you had revised acoustically at home, slowing the rhythm and making it simple. You hummed along, too shy to let yourself be carried away with singing out loud real words, so you kept the tune in the back of your throat and hummed instead. You were hardly aware of how much time had passed, your eyes closed to help you focus on not making a mistake, and you had yet to hear your friend asking to leave.

When your eyes opened, and a hand came down to mute the strings, a deep breath exuding from your lips, your eyes flicked up to the doorway. Startled, you nearly jumped out of your skin when your line of vision caught on the sight of a very tall, very curly boy standing there in the threshold in front of you. “Uh—” you sputtered, heat rising to the top of your cheeks. Your eyes were wide, heart was racing from the scare of seeing someone where there had not been anyone previously. “You’re – hi.” You managed, eyes finding the strangers.

“Hey,” he replied casually, one hand shoved in the pocket of his tight black skinny jeans. Your eyes took in the sight of him, black t-shirt that clung to his arms for life. He had a smile on his lips, perfect straight white teeth surrounded in pink, plush lips. The blush on your cheeks were relentless, never subsiding. He was pretty, and familiar, and something about the effortless cool of the boy had your eyes narrowing in confusion. “Wait.” You stopped him from continuing. “I know you.” You stated simply. Your mind raked, eyes flitting over every inch of his face. “You’re… aren’t you – I know you from somewhere, I think.” You sounded stupid and you knew it.

“I’m Shawn,” the boy answered, a grin on his lips that was proud and handsome. “Mendes.” His large hand reached out in front of his tall frame, welcoming you to take it. So, you stood, the guitar hanging in front of you and your small hand engulfed in his, shaking it politely. Your smile was shy, head almost ducked because you couldn’t stand the intensity of his unwavering eye contact. He was intimidatingly handsome, and you had no idea how long he had been standing, watching – listening. “I’m y/n. Nice to meet you, Shawn.” And then it clicked, and you knew exactly where you knew the boy from. His face was plastered on a billboard down Hollywood Boulevard, promoting a new album with flowers. You had heard him on the radio several times, new singles that had catchy hooks and rhythms. You knew him because you found yourself singing along in the car to school, songs that played too many times on the same radio station. You recognized his cool stature from the time that you watched him perform with Khalid on an award show. Same black skinny jeans, tight as sin. Same boots and V-neck shirt that hugged his body perfectly. “How long had you been there? Were you, uh – were you waiting on the room? I’m sorry if I, uh… if I held you up.” Your lip tugged between your teeth, shy and feeling dumber by the minute. You didn’t know what to do with your hands after he let go.

“Not too long, no worry honey. I heard you play that last one though, almost the whole thing. What was that? Sounded almost like Ariana Grande, but there’s no way.” Your eyes were trained on the way his lips moved as he spoke, but you forced your eyes to meet his, which never faltered. He had a small smirk on his lips, watching you. He was probably used to this sort of reaction. “Yeah, it was,” you answered. “I heard it a few weeks ago and I just, that was my, like – version. I just slowed it down, really, I –” he cut you off, saving you from rambling any further. “It was good, really good. I liked it. You sounded great.”

And there went any hope of your face returning to normal. Compliments were hard enough to accept, but a compliment provided by this young, inhumanly attractive boy, who also happened to be extremely talented at playing and singing – that was too much. “Thank you,” you muttered quietly, moving to slide the guitar strap off your body and back into the stand it had came from. “Oh, you don’t have to stop at my expense.” He said, taking a step forward with a hand out as of to stop you from putting the guitar down. “Please don’t, actually.”

You couldn’t believe your eyes or your ears, and you couldn’t help but wonder if this was happening actually at all. “Um,” you managed, eyes refusing to look up and meet his gaze that you could practically feel burning on you. “No, I – well, that’s. That’s very nice of you to say. But I… probably should get going. My friend is here somewhere, and we’re supposed to be doing touristy things right now.”

You finally look up to see his reaction, and his smile has dropped, tongue darting out to wet his lips and it’s almost sinful, watching him. You can smell his cologne with the short distance between the two of you that he had enclosed with his previous small step. Its hard to not feel intoxicated, your legs feeling weak in his presence. It’s stupid, you think, wishing to get a grip on yourself. You were never one to idolize or swoon over celebrities, as you tended to appreciate their art for what it was. This, however, was different. Everything about him made you unsure, feeling shy and intimidated.

“That’s too bad,” he concluded, voice husky. “I would’ve liked to hear what else you got.” His lips pursed, almost thoughtfully. “You’re here just visiting?”

“Yeah,” you answered, brushing your hair out of your face where it had fallen uselessly. “we’re here for a week. Just exploring, doing the usual L.A. tourist things. I saw this shop and I was dying to get out of the sun, so we ducked in here for a bit.”

“Hm,” he hummed, “this is a nice spot to have come to hide out. I visit when I’m in town. The owner, Mike, he’s cool. And it’s so off the grid and I never have to worry about being found, you know.” His hand rubs the back of his neck and you notice the tattoos on his arms for the first time. One is a guitar with other things inside it and you wonder what it means. You wish you had the time to stay and talk and learn and listen to him speak for hours. You want to hear him play, watch his calloused fingers run across the neck of the guitar in person. Your lip is tight between your teeth, a nervous habit. “Anyway,” he starts again, his eyes never once leaving your face, studying it, watching the way that you react to him. It’s terrifying. It’s amazing.

“It’s great,” you breathe, your eyes wandering across the walls. “I can imagine. I wish I could stay longer, I, uh – I’m familiar with a few of your songs. Some of the singles you’ve put out. And I’ve seen you play on television a few times. You’re great. Really good.” You sound like a fool, you conclude, making a mockery of yourself.

He laughs at that, a genuine smile that make the corners of his eyes crinkle up. “Thank you, y/n. Good to know I’ve not gone entirely obsolete just yet.” It feels like the both of you are just lingering, neither making the first move towards the door. You surely don’t want to leave, thinking that you’ll never be in the presence of someone like him probably every again in your life. You wonder why he hasn’t moved from the doorway either, mostly blocking your only exit. You’d have to duck past him at this point if you even wanted to go. “Where are you staying?” he asks, suddenly.

You give him a teasing grin, nose crinkling playfully. “Now, you know I can’t tell a stranger that information, Mr. Mendes. Haven’t you ever seen the movie Taken? She tells the first nice boy she meets exactly where she’s staying, and… you know the rest.”

He plays along, moving an inch or so towards you, the gap between your bodies becoming increasingly smaller. His scent is everywhere, and you must look up to meet his eyes. You can’t believe the sheer height difference. “I’m no stranger though, am I?” he teases you. “I mean – you’ve seen me on the television a few times, eh? May as well have known each other for years.”

You laugh softly, eyes darting to the floor. “Childhood best friends,” you agree. It’s all fun and lighthearted teasing, until you meet his gaze again and then it’s back to overwhelming, being so close to someone this unreal.

His lips are pink, wet from where his tongue had just darted out. “At least give me your Instagram? I know all about Los Angeles, all the best places to go. If you need any food, bar, club, anything recommendations, you know… you can just shoot me a message. I’d be glad to – help you out.”

You pretend to think it over. What’s the harm in handing over your social media account? You’re sure he won’t remember this conversation in a few days anyway. You had no intention of messaging him for any recommendations, content with just leaving this memory of him an exciting story to tell your friends when you return home. How coincidental it had been, for you to stumble into the same music shop that a well-known artist frequented the same day he visited. You hum in false thought, head cocked to the side while you pretend to think. He rolls his eyes and lets out a breathy laugh. “C’mon,” he encourages, strained.

“Fine,” you say with a huff, feigning indignation. “I suppose I’ll give it to you.”

You type your account into his Instagram app and find yourself, leaving your page open on his phone as you hand it back to him. “Great,” he answers, pocketing the phone in his jeans. “Don’t hesitate to message me if you need any help. I’m telling you, I’ve got the best local insight.” He places a large hand on your shoulder, giving it a squeeze as if to reassure that he is indeed telling the truth. Not that you doubted him, although you were sure anything he could recommend to you would be far out of your comfort zone or even budget for that matter. But his touch burns on your skin, all senses dialed to him and it makes you blush, yet again, your cheeks a familiar shade of pink and all he’s done is pat your shoulder like a brother would his sister.

“I’ll keep you in mind, Shawn. Promise.” You hold up your pinky between your bodies, eyeing him to see what he’ll do.

He smiles, friendly and beaming, eyes glistening with something you can’t read. His pinky wraps around yours and you both dare the other to break first. You could’ve held onto him like this for endless ages, but you didn’t want to be weird, and your stomach was full of butterflies that you willed to leave but wouldn’t. Your hand dropped to your side, and you flashed Shawn another shy smile, stepping to the side to move around his tall frame. “I’ll see you around, yeah?” you ask. “Perhaps on tv?”

“I hope,” he says, hesitantly moving to the side to allow you to pass him. His eyes stay trained on you, and you can’t believe how long this has gone on already. “See you, y/n.”

“Bye, Shawn!” You give him a small wave before heading to the front of the store where your friend is speaking quietly to the owner – Mike. When she sees you coming around the corner, her face lights up and she gives you a silent look.

“Thanks for letting us hang around in here,” she tells the owner, giving him a wave before she grabs your wrist and pulls you hurriedly from the store. “Okay, what the fuck?” She questions, excitement laced in her tone.

Your legs struggle to keep up with her quick pace down the sidewalk and away from the store. “What?!”

“How long were you back there with Shawn freaking Mendes, dude? I saw him come in the store and I wanted to say something, but I just froze, and I stood, and I watched him head back to the guitar area and I thought you’d just freak out but instead you come back grinning ear to ear. What happened? The guy up front says he comes in all the time!” She’s speaking so fast you can hardly keep up, but you guys stop a few streets away from the store.

“Uh – we just talked, that’s it. We talked about music, really. He was nice,” you add, hoping to satisfy her need-to-know. “You should’ve said hi.”

She scoffs, playfully. “I would have, maybe if he hadn’t spent his whole life back there with you! Geez, I mean can you believe that? Thank god you get sick of the heat so quickly.”

You laugh at that, feeling a buzz on your phone and you fish it from your pocket, the screen illuminating an Instagram notification.

Shawnmendes is now following you

You bite your lip, a small smile fighting its way to come out and you unlock your phone to see if it’s true. You quickly follow him back and have a look at his last few posts. Shots of him being on tour and some black and white photos that are just dreamy. Another notification appears on your screen. This time, it’s a like coming from the one and only. He had liked a video you had posted a few weeks ago. It’s of you in your room back home, lights dim and angled so that you could only see the neck of your guitar and the bottom half of your face. You had completely forgotten about the content of your account. Occasionally you would post short clips of you doing covers of songs that you had made to fit your style. And here Shawn was, as you sat gossiping with your best friend, listening to them and liking the clips. You could have died of embarrassment then, but you instead close and lock your phone, putting it away and out of your mind.

“C’mon,” you tell your friend, grabbing her hand and pulling her along the sidewalk. “What’s next on that itinerary of yours?”

[betterdaysareatoenailaway]

TO HAVE & HAVE NOT #2: STARTUPS FOR SHITHEADS

I have never understood the borderline hagiographical hoopla that surrounds startups. Even the fucking name suggests a kind of nascent know-nothing numbskullery. The “it’s my first day” excuse. Vaporware. Half-formed ideas surrounded by full-time douchebaggery. Such were my impressions before I ever read anything about startups. Now that I have done so, I can see that I was underestimating just how poorly run these companies can be. 

As far as I can tell, it works like this: A middle-aged white man gets an idea to fill a need in [insert industry here]. This man always lacks the necessary skill to deliver the product, so he cherrypicks undergraduate college kids (knowing they will work for very little money) to do the hard work in an open-concept office while he hides behind the foreboding oak door that he slams every time he enters his office, lest the underlings deign to ask the question they’re all dying to ask, which is....what do you do?

In the movie Steve Jobs (not the Ashton Kutcher one, though the fact that I have to differentiate shows just how revered these do-nothing con men are) there is a great scene where Seth Rogen asks the titular fuckhead that very question.

I won’t ruin the answer for you, but you can probably guess it’s a needlessly convoluted rationalization that boils down to: “umm...not much.” The only thing the middle-aged white male CEO can do is sell his vision. He cannot sell his product because it doesn’t exist. And as the upcoming selected quotes will show, sometimes he doesn’t even want the product to exist. A physical product necessarily has features and details, a pesky sentience that weighs it down and keeps it from flying.  But dreams float forever. So the company exists to sell the dream, to peddle a promise of a future world where the product exists and has improved the lives of those (and only those) who use it.

A series of high-level meetings take place either in golf clubs or conference rooms or both, and money starts pouring in. Said money is promptly spent on sex workers, booze, and/or drugs. There is nothing wrong with any of these things, I’m merely pointing out that the money is spent fast and spent stupidly. Not to wag my finger, but if you can’t pay your lowest paid employees’ paycheques and they’re late on rent and have empty fridges...you should lay off the rippers and the blow. Furthermore you are a shithead and your hubris has a very real human cost. But the shitheads keep coming. I read an article this week that talked about the history of the coded, racialized term “superpredator” and its very real consequences on incarceration and Black youth in America. The news media should have warned us about the shitheads instead. Think of the headlines! THE SHITHEADS ARE COMING. Or the news media should have kept the term but replaced its description from African-American gang member to middle-aged white golf club member. 

See, even though over 95% of startups fail to recoup the money it cost them to...ahem...start up...people keep falling for this shit. The shitheads keep coming. It’s like nobody can say no. Such largesse is bound to give birth to arrogant assholes who are bad at numbers and can’t code. And the absenteeism reported on in these articles is nothing short of miraculous. So when you’re a CEO you can just...not go to work? That’s an option?

Apparently. In the two examples I read, the boss comes in late if he comes in at all. It all reminds me of the scene in Apocalypse Now where a weary Martin Sheen, huddled in a trench to escape mortars fired by an unseen enemy, barks “Who’s in charge here?” and the guy next to him says “I thought you were.”

The two different articles I read are about corporate impropriety. Both feature eerily similar quotes about eerily similar situations in which the CEO - the ostensible leader of the company and therefore the shepherd and spokesperson for its “product” - actually does not want the software to be completed, because by leaving the product in a state of perpetual almost-thereness, more investors can be duped, which means more hookers rented, more booze bought, and more drugs done. 

And more entry-level workers fucked over by their paycheques either bouncing or not coming up at all.

It all sounds like reality TV. When Startups Close Down or When Idiots Collapse.

Here’s a quote from a Toronto Life article about a Canadian capitalist named Boaz Manor who used the fake name Shaun McDonald to start a new venture (of course a rich guy’s last name is Manor...to the manor born, amirite?): 

“Leong, Ortiz and others who did the demos insist the terminals would have worked, or could have. But they say Shaun seemed to be more interested in the marketing than in the product itself. ‘I believe the tech was never finished because Shaun didn’t want it finished. What he wanted was to raise more money,’ Ortiz says.”

And here’s a quote from an article in The Verge that details the almost-boring-because-so-inevitable rise and fall of a company called Oomba, run by a douche named Michael Williams:

“After four years, the company’s core product was never able to do what it said it was supposed to: work with any game. It’s possible this was because many of Oomba’s engineers were college students whom Williams apparently sometimes paid in free food and the promise of stock options. Or maybe, a few employees suggest, he preferred to keep the software unfinished. ‘There’s glitches and glitches and glitches, but he didn’t want it to work. He wanted it to stay almost done, to raise more money from investors,’ one senior-level employee believes.”

Bearing such malfeasance in mind, I’d like to announce that I’m starting my own startup called...uhhh....let’s go with Revivify. Our product will be vaguely revolutionary in [insert field or industry here] and our company will stay private by courting the interest and support of venture capital firms. In the hawkish world of venture capital and leveraged buyouts, “interest” means time-consuming meetings and “support” means money. Our CEO shall be me, and I will be spending $500 a day on heroin, $500 a day on coke, and $1000 a day on crack. $2 for my morning double-double. I will be arrested sometime in late 2022 and go to jail for four years. The day I am released I will overdose on fentanyl in a Starbucks bathroom in Guelph. 

I’m kidding, of course. But Jesus F Christ, what a fucking hustle these guys ran. An eternal “coming soon” sign. Always almost done. Brilliant assholes, these startup starters. All of them. I’m neither creative nor mercenary enough to do what these CEOs did, though I have done terrible things in my life to get the money that pays for heroin. I’m just smart enough to know that my life is essentially tainted, just talented enough to know I don’t have enough talent to make a living from it. Let me leave you with a quote from Mary Robinson’s “Yours”, a story that appeared in The New Yorker in the early 1980s, a story with a quote that explains my conspicuous lack of accomplishment and achievement in my 34 years on this planet:

“...to own only a little talent....was an awful, plaguing thing...being only a little special meant you expected too much, most of the time.”

Here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson.

To have just enough talent to know you’re not talented enough to get paid for the one thing you’re good at doing sucks. Lockdown is back again and my job is gone. Therefore I am currently selling the lower half of this photograph to the highest bidder. Bidding started this morning at 35 cents and I’m already up to $4. Go capitalism. As Alan Greenspan once proclaimed, perhaps unwittingly displaying the kind of circular logic only Americans seem capable of: “The regulatory mechanism that oversees the market is...the market.”

This is the financial version of “we had to destroy the village in order to save it.”

Anyway I’m kidding. There isn’t really a lower half to that photograph. There’s nothing to see. I’m selling you the hope that you will see my penis. I can’t believe someone has offered me $4 for it. I didn’t expect to clear $3.25.

ANYWAY that’s it for me, for now. I’m heading back to fictionland, where I actually wield a modicum of power, though it’s not power I want.

It’s comfort. Comfort for me and my cat. I just got over an illness that might have been COVID and I have my cat Cookie to thank for assisting my speedy recovery. The only reason I read about the above-mentioned startups is because I was lying prone for ten days, groaning and reading articles. So if you’re bored or perhaps sick, here’s a link to an excellent Stephen King short story, also published in The New Yorker: http://writ101van.weebly.com/uploads/2/2/7/3/22735066/king_the_man_in_the_black_suit.pdf And here is an impeccably well-crafted piece on self-respect, something I decidedly lack, by Joan Didion: https://www.vogue.com/article/joan-didion-self-respect-essay-1961 Sorry about the lack of updates on here, all one or two of you who read this. I’ve been writing a new novel and trying to find a publisher or agent for my first one, a decidedly non-commercial affair. 900+ pages. I gtg. Sleep awaits. I have a startup to start tmrw. 

[allinsgaywitchaesthetic-moved]

literally no one asked for this and i was bored so heres monsta x as a jazz combo under the cut

shownu

sax player, brass/winds leader

plays every single saxophone known to man + clarinet, flute, and p much every other wind instrument ?? like how?????

hes amazing thats how

so so so dedicated but like

where kihyun is like …. aggressively dedicated shownu is more relaxed abt it

like kihyun plays more but shownu listens more and analyzes more sort of??

thats why hes the leader

has a very good understanding of different styles and how to break them down

just perceptive musically

also really good at imitating specific styles

always has extra valve oil and grease and strings and sticks in his bag it’s ridiculous the thing probably weighs like 30 pounds

he doesn’t really have a specific music taste?? like hes just not picky

also too compliant for his own good …

minhyuk showed up at rehearsal once like “shownu, lets play death metal!!”  and shownu was just like “ok sounds good”

also doesn’t really like to be super assertive so he’ll usually suggest articulations and phrasings rather than saying “tongue this note and slur that”

everyone listens to him anyways tho because he’s right

not really tonally or rhythmically inclined tbh hes just good all around

hes really flexible stylistically and likes to play in lots of different styles

loves bob florence, john coltrane, ellington, but will listen to everything

likes to challenge himself w rhythms bc hes pretty good at them!!

he gets really anxious before performances tho and it definitely reflects in his playing :(

kihyun

trumpet!!! lead trumpet!!!!

his sound is really sharp (like cutting? almost) and strong and honestly??? the most beautiful thing uve ever heard

probably a prodigy tbh

he isnt leader tho like just bc he plays the ~visually most important~ instrument doesn’t mean hes in charge lol

always attentive, has like 3 pencils on him at all times, records rehearsals, Model Musician tbh

tonally inclined

eats, drinks, and breathes long tones

can’t sleep?? long tones

hungry?? long tones

bored?? long tones

i.m: hey kihyun whats the answer for question 11?

kihyun: long tones, changkyun. the answer is always long tones

i.m, in the background: im a guitarist????

his range is ridiculous bc of this

loves ballads!!! especially basie ballads like little darling bc he can just … drag out his beautiful sound like theres no tomorrow

probably doesn’t like a lot of contemporary jazz but plays it to challenge himself

also loves thad jones, miles davis, jalc (modern groups playing old jazz make him happy!!) and jazz vocalists - frank sinatra, cecile mclorin savant, etc.

biggest weakness is probably the fact that he doesn’t listen as much as he should so he doesn’t always grasp style well :(

shownu: kihyun listen to this recording!

kihyun: i can’t ,, im playing rn .. ., gotta go fast

minhyuk

hes a trombone player and no one can tell me other wise

this is bc trombones are the worst and so is minhyuk

shownu: alright everyone lets start at measure 39

minhyuk: *slides around on the trombone* how about i solo for 30 measures instead

never fuckingf listens

but hes not a bad player!! hes just .. an unstoppable force of nature .. .,

his sound is really warm and broad but occasionally sounds a little muffled

esp when hes lazy or doesn’t like the piece theyre working on

tbh don’t even expect him to try if he doesnt like the music ur playing

tonally inclined

hates long tones, has never done them in his life probably??

bc of that his range isn’t super big but his sound is really strong and powerful

kihyun works w him on long tones bc ‘minhyuk!!! ur range is holding us back,, please!!’

prefers up tempo funk or latin tunes but doesn’t like super complicated rhythms

loves gordon goodwin and the brecker brothers to bits …

will blast them while showering :)

really impatient as a musician

like he cant focus for super long periods of time and he cant sit through all of those long rehearsals so his playing suffers bc of that

he practices better in small groups than alone bc the other members help him focus better so he gets more done~

i.m

guitarist

hes the only guitarist u will ever meet who shows up on time to rehearsal… amazing

its rlly relaxing to watch him play hes just really confident n comfortable w his style of playing bc hes p flexible and he loves jazz a lot bc its so different and complicated as a genre!!!

has read every single jazz autobiography and watched every single jazz movie known to man

rhythmically inclined

he, hyungwon, and jooheon just .. have rhythm clapping competitions where they see who can clap the most complicated rhythms for the longest amount of time …. theyre a trip

plays clappingmusic on his phone when hes bored and has converted the entire band to it

fuckin loves free jazz and fusion!!!!  and contemporary jazz

he, hyungwon, and jooheon just hang out listening to ornette coleman, charles mingus, chick corea - its a great time

(hyungwon hates ornette coleman but he wont tell changkyun bc he doesn’t want to break his heart :( )

hes a sucker for like .. old romantic sounding jazz

he plays through his real book every couple of days- he really loves the classics too

loves wes montgomery

hes the bands treasure; you make fun of a lick he played?? u wont see the light of day . …

his biggest weakness is he has troubles communicating with the other group members like w eye contact and tempo changes and stuff

also gets lost in the middle of pieces sometimes bc hes a little spacey n he worries :(

wonho

pianist, rhythm section leader

naturally bouncy style, very swingy - he’s a natural, also possibly a prodigy?

won a bunch of classical music competitions when he was a kid but then he realized he liked jazz more so he switched over

the biggest jazz history nerd!! just knows a lot of random facts about all the composers

favorite facts include: billy strayhorn was gay and mingus punched his lead bone player in the mouth (hyungwons response ‘youre next minhyuk’ always makes him laugh)

buys food for everyone before rehearsal

always trying to help everyone become more confident and happy with their own musical abilities

helps everyone rehearse by doing 1-on-1 stuff if they need it

probably plays in elderly homes and in orphanages to help the kids

also not really rhythmically/tonally inclined hes just good

rlly likes jazz-inspired classical music and like … jazz movie soundtracks

watches jazz movies with changkyun

also likes ragtime, second line, dixieland … all those old exciting jazz movements bc theyre so fun to play!!!

he isn’t very confident in his playing like he knows hes good but he doubts himself a lot so he lets other people’s preferences control him??

like if someone doesn’t like something abt a solo of his he’ll change to appease them, even if he likes it a lot :(

hyungwon

bassist

plays both upright and electric

really smooth long sound on both instruments - his entire style feels very relaxed

honestly was dragged into this by minhyuk without knowing what jazz really was but he really grew to like it!!

loves his role as a bassist bc hes important but like … behind the scenes important >:)

most people don’t think abt the bassist at all in the band but hyungwon Knows that hes important so hes ok w that

definitely doesn’t know how to work his own equipment like

quarter inches?? amp head??? what r those he just doesn’t know

he and jooheon always argue about the best way to do a fill and tempo and anything else under the sun bc theyre both stubborn and think theyre right

wonho is the only one that can make it stop

hyungwon probably shows up late to rehearsal w like … cup ramen and a book someone help him

the book is a jazz autobiography and he discusses it w changkyun after rehearsal over coffee

hes rhythmically inclined and loves to challenge himself w odd meters and weird fingerings

he doesn’t necessarily like that kind of music though?? like hell play it to challenge himself but he won’t always like it and won’t really listen to it

loves every single bassist known to man

esp victor wooten, mingus, esperanza spalding, ron carter

he hates jaco tho bc jaco is an asshole

minhyuk: but mingus was also an asshole??

hyungwon: shhhhhhh mingus was a special kind of asshole so its ok

will honestly just listen to entire bass concerts

loves cool jazz and bebop

hes really … absorbed in his own playing because he throws himself into it and wants his walking to be good and he wants to be in time and all these other things so when hes playing he sometimes ignores the rest of the group bc hes trying so hard to sound good

hes a lil bit of a worrier internally and its gets in the way of the confidence of his playing

also procrastinates on his deadlines like theres no tomorrow lol

jooheon

drummer!!!!

carries at least 3 pairs of sticks, brushes, and a practice pad with him at all times

he??? drums in the bath room sometimes????? you’ll just walk by and hear vague slapping noises like ‘oh thats just jooheon! hes working on his rudiments’ :)

one of those 3 pairs of drumsticks is broken and taped together so that it doesn’t fall apart tbh

wants to bring back jazz rap

also rlly likes electroswing and jazz trap

just give him jazz thats influenced by new technologies in music !! he loves it

rhythmically inclined - especially likes playing in odd meters

his fills and hits are always so in-time it’s ridiculous

loves don ellis and buddy rich

his jazz playlist is 50% all of the standard jazz he needs and the other 50% is like thess tracks from single composers that have been dead 20 years w no meter or are in like 17/8 or something

jokes abt having 'perfect click’ all the time like

jooheon: you know perfect pitch??? ive got perfect tempo ;)))

hyungwon: jooheon shut up, you rush all of your fills

sets up pranks w minhyuk before rehearsal starts so that its 'more fun’ because jazz is 'all about rebellion against the status quo’ like ok

he worries a lot bc he feels like he needs to carry the entire band on his shoulders bc he’s a drummer and therefore The Most Important

but then everyone always says “but we’re all drummers!” and he feels a little better abt it

probably cries after every performance

[themoneybuff-blog]

Questions About Child Rearing Costs, Laundry Services, Unused Media, Aldi, and More!

Whats inside? Here are the questions answered in todays reader mailbag, boiled down to summaries of five or fewer words. Click on the number to jump straight down to the question. 1. $250K to raise a kid? 2. Long term care? 3. $20 bill budgeting 4. Expense of laundry service 5. Backlog of unused media 6. 403(b) risky? 7. Cheap or expensive bag? 8. Thoughts on Aldi 9. Is renters insurance necessary? 10. Appliance repair or replace? 11. Saying no to parent 12. Getting value from self-improvement books Spring usually begins with a mix of rainy days and dry days, warm days and cold days. Sometimes, its a warm, dry day and all I want to do is go outside. Other days are wet and cold and I want to stay in out of the rain. The hardest part are the beautiful days when I need to stay inside and work. I want to go outside on a long, long walk through the countryside and through the woods, looking for mushrooms and enjoying the fresh air. Spring is wonderful. On with the questions. Q1: $250K to raise a kid? My husband and I are in our early thirties and were starting to think about having a couple of children in the next few years. We started to look into the costs and the most common figure we found was $250K to raise a child. That cant even be right as there are families that raise kid that barely bring in that in total in 18 years. What is the actual cost of raising a child in your experience? Marion When you see numbers like $250K, youre seeing the total long term cost over a period of at least twenty years, and that often includes paying for college and other such large expenses. Its also an average and includes families who are paying for things like private school. My experience has been that the cost of raising a child is often connected directly to the financial means of the parent. You can raise a child perfectly well on a low income my parents were never, ever very well off when I was growing up and they raised three children. My father worked in a factory (when he wasnt laid off) and had side gigs (most notably commercial fishing) for a living and my mother was a stay-at-home mom. There wasnt a ton of money there. We are most certainly spending more per child on our children than my parents did on me, but the truth is that a lot of the extra expense is on optional things like a band instrument or sports fees or an extra ticket to an event that were going to as a family. We could not spend those things and our child would be perfectly fine. In other words, those $250K estimates are numbers that summarize what parents are choosing to spend on children, not what they have to spend. Outside of some basic things like food, shelter, clothing, public education, and medical care, most expenses related to raising a child are very optional, and many of those required expenses can be incredibly low out of pocket. Q2: Long term care? Read this article: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/10/health/assisted-living-costs-elderly.html What are ordinary people supposed to do when they need long term care? The wealthy can pay for insurance or higher care, but thats not an option for a poor person or even a middle class person. If me or my wife needed long term care I dont know what wed do. Alex This is one of many issues that have radically changed in society during the 20th century and that we havent really figured out how to handle as a society. At the start of the 20th century, people who needed this kind of care usually didnt have the medical care necessary to continue to live. They perished. Thus, it was fairly uncommon for someone to need this kind of care for an extended period of time, and when it did occur, there were typically large families and even whole communities who stepped up to provide that care. Today, much of that has changed. In many situations, medical advancements enable people to live through things that they would not have survived 100 years ago. This means that more people who are in a long term care situation are surviving when they previously would not have done so. At the same time, nuclear families are smaller and communities are less tight-knit, for various reasons. The truth is that as a society, we have not figured out how to handle this yet. We havent figured out how to handle a lot of the advancements of the 20th century yet as a society. One only needs to look at the cruelty of many internet forums as further evidence of this. The problem, of course, is that there is no ready-made solution. Long term care insurance is definitely one step many people can take to gain peace of mind about future situations, but its expensive for many. The honest truth is that many families, when faced with long term care situations, just have to deal with it moment by moment to the best of their ability. Some families struggle to provide that care at home, particularly when theres a larger pool of family members that can help, while others go into debt. Many families rely on some form of government assistance to make it work. If you can easily afford it, long term care insurance is a great idea. If not well, society doesnt have a robust solution for you. The solutions vary widely from situation to situation. Q3: $20 bill budgeting Was reading an internet forum that reminded me of how I used to budget in college. Back then, I used to have an envelope with $10 bills in it. Each month, Id put $300 in $10s in there and each day I would take one out. Aside from rent, I had to live on that $10 each day. It paid for the bus and for food. Strategy I saw used $20 bills today which would be roughly the same. Mary Lets spell out this system a little bit. Aside from scheduled bills like rent, electricity, and so on, a person would aim to live on $20 a day in cash. Each month, a person would withdraw $600 cash from savings in the form of 30 $20 bills and put them in an envelope somewhere secure. Each day, that person would take a $20 bill out of the envelope and put it in their pocket. They would have to live off of that $20 bill and change from the previous months. This gives you room to splurge if you want to, but to do so would involve eating beans and rice for a while. In other words, lean days would directly help with expensive days. It would also be needed to help you make up front purchases like a bus pass, which would ease daily expenses a little going forward. I mentioned this idea to a friend and she said that she would probably try to have days where she could get by without pulling a $20 out of the envelope and then at the end of the month thered be some $20s left over, which shed use for bigger goals or big expenses or emergencies. That seems like a strong idea to me. I think this system would work very well for anyone who is trying to make ends meet on a very tight budget. Q4: Expense of laundry service There is a service in our town that just started that will take your laundry off of your front step and bring it back within 24 hours washed, dried, and folded. The cost is $2 per pound of clothes (rounded up to nearest pound), paid up front. I am trying to do the math on whether this makes sense or not for us. Amy A typical large load of laundry weighs somewhere between 7 and 10 pounds, but that really varies depending on how much you stuff in your washer with a typical load. I actually weighed a load of laundry that I just pulled out of our dryer on a kitchen scale and it weighed about 9.5 pounds. So, youre paying somewhere between $15 and $20 per load of laundry to be done for you. What is that saving you? The big savings is the time. You arent carrying your clothes to the washer and filling it up. Youre not moving clothes to the dryer. Youre not folding those clothes, either. Thats all done for you. In terms of cost, the cost of a load of laundry at home, including all materials, energy, and equipment depreciation, is around $1. So, in essence, youre paying someone between $14 and $19 to put a load of clothes into the washer, transferring them to the dryer when done, then folding them for you when the drying is done. Thats at most half an hour of effort, and probably less than that. Thus, unless you are very strapped for time and can extract a lot more than $30 of value per hour out of an extra freed-up hour, then this isnt a cost-effective move. It essentially adds up to paying $15 or a little more for an extra 20 minutes or half an hour of free time. Q5: Backlog of unused media What are your thoughts on people who have large unused media collections and keep buying more without using what they have? Why does that happen? Is there a fix? I noticed this myself with my collection of Kindle books recently. My son is home from college and he piped up and said that he actually has a lot of computer games unplayed as we often buy him Steam gift cards. He has a ton of computer games left unplayed yet he will often seek out new ones. I want to be less into getting new stuff and more into using what I have. Mike The reasons actually pretty simple: buying and acquiring and getting and collecting new items for your collection scratches a much different itch than actually enjoying the items in that collection. I have the same issue in some areas of my life (far fewer than I used to, thankfully). The feeling that acquisition and discovery gives you is much different and I think more addictive than the feeling that diving deep gives you. This is particularly true when you dont have as much time as youd like to dive deep, but thats not the sole cause of it. The only solution Ive found that works is to put moratoriums on new acquisitions. Give yourself a 30 day or a 90 day challenge to simply not buy any new Kindle books. Suggest the same for your son with his Steam games. If you have the urge, ignore it or, if you must take action, put that item on a wishlist. This does a great job of strongly curtailing that desire to acquire, but its a desire that can easily grow if youre not being conscious about it. I find that doing these kinds of moratoriums regularly does a pretty good job of slowing down my collecting nature. As for actually using those backlogs, the best thing Ive ever done is to consciously block off time in my schedule for that kind of exploration. I block off an hour a day for reading, and that has caused my book backlog to evaporate. I block off time on many weekends to play board games and that means the games in my collection are getting much more play. Q6: 403(b) risky? I work at [a public university]. One of my coworkers claims that people shouldnt put money into a 403(b) because politicians will eventually target that money for extra taxation or reclamation because it is public funds. He thinks that because we are government employees our 403(b) money will eventually get reclaimed by the government so saving in a 403(b) is a waste. Is this even possible? Ana Well, anythings possible, I suppose. However, if youre running your life in response to what you think its possible that the government might do, youre walking by a ton of opportunity. I mean, I think its possible that the government might outlaw certain classes of opioids. Does that mean I should start hoarding them, just in case, even though theyre very likely to just sit in my cupboard and go bad? Of course not, and I consider new opioid restrictions to be far more likely than any changes to 403(b) taxation. Let me put it to you this way: if the United States government starts retroactively taxing the retirement savings of a large class of citizenry in a way that invalidates the entire reason for putting money in there in the first place, we will already be in an extremely ugly situation that will get much uglier. 401(k) and 403(b) plans are already big wins for the federal government because its a way to pump tons and tons of money into investments and thus helping the economy in exchange for merely delaying taxes for a while. The government makes far more money leaving 401(k) and 403(b) plans just as they are than if they were to tinker with them in a way that would drive people away from them. It is possible that the government would do something like that, but if theyre doing things like that, then we have much bigger fish to fry, like a rapidly devaluing dollar. In fact, most financial conspiracy theories that people use to justify weird financial choices are ones that, if they came to fruition, would be completely overshadowed by a collapsing economy and a hyperinflated dollar. In my opinion, a 403(b) is about as safe as you can get, and the risks you are taking by having one are overshadowed by the risk of having your money in the form of American dollars, and I dont consider that much of a risk either. The only realistic change I can see to a 403(b) is that they might change how the program works in the future, and that would probably involve sunsetting the current 403(b) program and letting the current accounts continue to exist without further contributions while introducing some form of replacement account. They absolutely would not want to risk any mass withdrawals from 403(b) plans if they abruptly taxed them, Wall Street would lay an egg and the value of the dollar would plummet. The government will bend over backwards to avoid that, not encourage it. Q7: Cheap or expensive bag? I need a messenger bag or backpack for work. I have been looking at the options and it seems like you can either get a cheap one for like $20 that will last for a year maybe before the straps start breaking or you can get one for like $200 that will last for several years maybe five or ten, maybe twenty. Cheap bag does the job now for only $20 but I will be replacing it before long if I use it every day. Expensive bag will do it practically for life but its really expensive right now and I have a hard time justifying spending $200 on a bag. I know you lean toward buying things for life and I can see that the long term cost might be lower with the expensive bag, but I cant justify $200 on a bag right now. Duane To me, the deciding factor in these situations is the cost of failure. What exactly happens when a bag fails on you? In my own experience, thats usually the moment when its time to get a new bag the old one failed in some way. A strap breaks or the bottom rips out or something like that. Whats the consequences of that kind of failure? What happens if youre actively using your bag and suddenly a strap breaks on your or the bottom rips out? If the consequences arent too disastrous, thats a mark toward a cheaper bag. If the consequences are dire, thats a mark toward a more expensive bag. Personally, one of the things I strongly consider when buying an item is the consequence of failure. If it causes a potentially major career or life hardship or an enormous mess, Im going to get the reliable version. If its something small, like an overcooked or undercooked meal, the cheaper version seems much more acceptable to me. For me, this was what drew me to getting a buy it for life kind of bag for daily use. Q8: Thoughts on Aldi Aldi just opened up in my community. We shopped there and thought it was okay and that the prices were great but there were weird little annoyances with layout and selection and the carts. Then I saw on CNN about how Aldi is expanding fast. What are your thoughts on Aldi? Good place to shop? Alice Im guessing that this is the CNN story that Alice is referring to. That article describes it well: they strip down the shopping experience as much as possible to make the prices low. What Ive found is that it means that their selection is kind of limited and some of their items arent particularly healthy, but their prices on what they do have are amazing. There are two different Aldi stores within about fifteen minutes of my house. Aldi is probably the cheapest grocer available to me, though Fareway isnt too far behind them and has a somewhat better selection. I basically find that the cheaper a grocery stores prices are, the weaker the selection is and the more bare-bones the shopping experience is. I generally dont mind the bare-bones shopping experience, but I do find that it restricts what I can cook if I only use Aldi (or, to a much lesser extent, Fareway). I find that if I shop at Aldi, I usually have to make a second stop for some items; occasionally, I have to do the same with Fareway, but not too often. Other grocers, like Hy-Vee, will have everything I need, but the prices are higher. Thus, it comes down to a convenience thing and a meal planning thing. If I plan very simple meals, I can get everything I need at Aldi, but our meals arent very varied. Theyre certainly cheap, but not varied. If I add more variety, I either need to make multiple stops when grocery shopping, adding significant time to my shopping trip, or shop at Fareway or even Hy-Vee. Honestly, I still mostly shop at Fareway. The prices are very good and they generally have almost everything I need. Aldi is lower on the items that overlap with Fareway, but I usually dont have to make a second stop if I shop at Fareway, its closer to my home, and the prices arent really that different for a typical weeks grocery list. Aldi is great if your list is entirely common food staples, and I do shop there sometimes. Q9: Is renters insurance necessary? Is it always necessary to get renters insurance? Just moved out from parents and my apartment has a bunch of Goodwill stuff and family hand me downs. If its gone I dont lose much. Matt First of all, its very possible that your landlord requires you to have some sort of renters insurance policy. Youll need to look carefully at your lease; if you dont have it, you might be in violation of your lease. Many leases require the renter to have a $100,000 (or more) liability policy. Honestly, the big reason that many first time renters need renters insurance is for the liability coverage. If you accidentally burn down the building and its clear youre at fault, the landlords insurance may cover some of it, but you also have a legal liability too. If you dont have insurance, that can be a huge problem. Renters insurance is pretty cheap, though. You can get a policy that includes $30,000 in property coverage (covering your stuff in event of theft or disaster) and $100,000 in liability for around $15 a month. I think its a good idea, even for people without much stuff, to get this kind of insurance if theyre renting, just because the cost is so low compared to the downside. Q10: Appliance repair or replace? Our washing machine has broken down twice in the last six months. A family friend has fixed it both times but he says that to really fix the problem will cost about $200 in parts and that we should get someone else to fix it as hes more of a handyman. Time to replace? Noelle Absolutely. I dont even hesitate to say yes to this. When a repair bill is going to be a large portion of the cost of replacing an older item, its time to replace the item, as there are likely other points of failure coming in the future. There are exceptions to this, of course. If you are familiar with repairing the item yourself or have an interest in figuring it out, then you should by all means give it a shot. If you can find the parts for cheap and want to tackle the repair on your own, maybe with the help of that friend, then its probably worth it. My guess is, given the price, that electronic components are involved, but the actual procedure shouldnt be too difficult. However, thats not something that necessarily appeals to everyone or works with everyones life. In that situation, I think a replacement is very justified. The nice part is that your current washer should last long enough to allow you to shop around. Q11: Saying no to parent Im 31 years old and single. My father passed away about six years ago. My mom didnt handle it well and has become an alcoholic and possibly a drug user. She comes to me and my brother regularly to borrow money. She does manage to keep her job at a grocery store that shes had since I was a kid but I have heard that the manager keeps her on out of loyalty and she shows up to work drunk sometimes. She was so wonderful raising me and to see her like this tears me apart but I dont know how to say no when she asks. She asks frequently enough that it does put some financial strain on my situation, though I am still making progress on my student loans. Do you have any advice for me? Megan If I were you, the absolute first step I would take is to find an Al-Anon group for you. The purpose of Al-Anon is to support people in your exact situation, those that have loved ones with alcohol abuse issues. It sounds like your mother is a good person who was broken in some way by the death of your father and she doesnt know what to do so she uses alcohol to self-medicate, and that is causing difficulties in your own life. Al-Anon can help you deal with things on your own end and perhaps help you figure out how to help your mother. There will probably come a point where you will have to tell her no, but I cant really offer specific advice on that because I dont know the specific situation. I can simply recommend Al-Anon as a great next step. Q12: Getting value from self-improvement books A lot of times when I read a book about personal finance or getting organized, the ideas make a lot of sense but then I close the cover and none of it seems to matter or take hold in my life and before long Ive forgotten everything other than a few main points. Do you have any tips for making personal finance books or organizing books more sticky in my head? Mary There are two key elements that I think make the difference for me. The first is that I take a lot of notes as Im reading it. If its on the Kindle or a copy I dont mind abusing, Ill do a ton of highlighting as I go. If its a library book, Ill put in bookmarks as I go. Then, when Im done, I wait a few days, then go back through the highlights and take actual handwritten notes on the book. This impresses the ideas into my mind. The other part is that, from those notes, if I have positive thoughts about the book at all, I try to put some of those notes into practice immediately. I usually do a thirty day challenge with some of the suggestions in the book, meaning I try to apply them as well as I can for thirty days in my life. If it seems like the trial run will actually be a net positive change, Ill keep going with it, doing a ninety day challenge with perhaps some revisions. The goal here is to try to set those changes as a habit in my life. Rolling back a bit, I find that Im more successful with this kind of change if Im already strongly interested in the type of change that the book is targeting before I ever start reading it. If its not a change thats compelling to you, its probably not worth your time to read a book on any self-improvement topic. Got any questions? The best way to ask is to follow me on Facebook and ask questions directly there. Ill attempt to answer them in a future mailbag (which, by way of full disclosure, may also get re-posted on other websites that pick up my blog). However, I do receive many, many questions per week, so I may not necessarily be able to answer yours. https://www.thesimpledollar.com/questions-about-child-rearing-costs-laundry-services-unused-media-aldi-and-more/

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Meadow Valley California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95956

"Meadow Valley California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95956

Meadow Valley California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95956

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Meadow Valley California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95956

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I'm getting a new car. I have a Land Rover Discovery and its a piece of crap and drinks a lot of gas. I was going to get a Mazda RX8, I love them. My family has 3 of them, but my dad said no because the insurance would be high because its a sports car. Is a 2008 Scion tc considered a sports car by insurance companies? I am a 19 year old female by the way, if that matters. Thanks for any answers!""

My First Speeding ticket as a minor! Will my insurance go up?

Last night I was coming home from a concert in Cleveland Ohio. Stupidly I wasn't paying attention to my speed and got pulled over for a 76 in a 60. 16 Mph over. Knowing my parents would take my car away for who knows how long my brother has agreed to help me pay the ticket. So with the ticket taken care of, that leave the possibility of my insurance going up who knows how much. I have State Farm and am on my parents plan. I will be receiving 2 points from this ticket. If anyone has a general idea about the possibility of my insurance going up at all. - I have done previous reading and can't get a straight forward find. Im hoping it wont affect my insurance premium or whatever and I can be in the free!! thanks alot in advance""

Cheapest Car insurance college student?

What is the cheapest possible car insurance policy I can find. I plan on getting a used car for probably around 5000$. I want a minimal plan that only has what the law requires, so I do not want the car covered. What is the cheapest rate you know of? Car will probably be a 2002 jeep grand cherokee. I am almost 19 years old, got my license when I was 16. No accidents, no tickets, full time student. Thanks for the help!""

Any decent car insurance company for 17 years old in uk? ?

I have bought a Honda civic 1.4 and I am looking for some car insurance company would take 17 years old young driver I have got some is lik 7000 and 9900, which is ridiculous so I am wondering if any of yours know some company can get me a decent quote. Thank you""

Should i tell my car insurance?

i got 3 bans but now legal and got a new job as a delivery driver should i tell my insurance company and would it make my insurance cheaper

What personal information can be revealed by a car insurance card?

Friend asked me for a copy of my car insurance card, said he needed it for something but didn't tell me what.""

Why is it a better idea to chose a higher deductible health insurance plan?

How do you feel about the rising costs of healthcare?

I be 17 in April and i just got my learners and i want to know how much it cost for car insurance?

if my grand mom add me under her how much it cost

Can you pay car insurance for the whole year at once?

i see that many people pay per month, can i pay the whole year? and also for an 18 year old how much would insurance cost?""

Buying auto insurance?

Is it possible for someone to buy auto insurance with their brother?

Meadow Valley California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95956

Meadow Valley California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95956

Will my dui affect my dad car insurance rate?

I got a dui and my licence is suspended and I currently don't have car insurance. Im not covered on my dads plan or any plan. When he gets new car insurance next month will this affect his insurance or no because im not on his anymore?

Car/Motorcycle Insurance and address question.?

I live in PA I Just moved out 5 months ago and i never changed my drivers license to the new address. Mainly because my dad payed for my next 6 months of my car insurance and it still says i live at home. Im going to buy a motorcycle soon and i know if i get the title in my name all the info will be mailed to my parents address because thats the address on my DL. My dad doesnt care if i get one but my mom does. I dont really want it mailed there but i dont think theres nothing i can do about that, can I? Say it gets mailed there when i go get insurance on it will i have to say the bike is parked at my parents house or my new address I know in the state of PA once you move out you have 15 days to change the address on your driver license. i did not change it. by me not doing this will it affect me getting insurance on my motorcycle? and if i do change it will it affect my car insurance cause its on my parents but i dont live there""

Can you get arrested for not having car insurance in the state of florida?

My father was arrested and claims its because of him not having car insurance. is this possible?

Help on getting cheap car insurance for young drivers?

I know about multicar but i cant do that, i know about named drivers etc but is there any way i can get a decent insurance quote for a 17 year old because ive been getting 15000 quid for quotes recently. Dont tell me you cant do it thats not gonna help me, thanks""

What are teenage driving insurance rates for girls?

whats the cheapest in illionois? do i have to have insurance while driving w/ a permit??

""Can you suggest a good,affordable health insurance plan?""

I am an adjunct instructor at two colleges in Michigan. Neither institution offers health insurance for adjunct instructors. For the last three years I have been getting health Insurance through a postdoctoral fellowship. Now this fellowship has come to an end, and I am in desperate straits. I have heart problems and I need specials medicationss for depression and attention deficit disorder.What do I do?""

How much will average insurance be for me.?

I am 17, just passed my driving test and I am considering buying a 1997 AUDI A3 1.6 Sport.""

Can you register a vehicle and get liability insurance in Texas without a driver's license?

In the near future I'll be moving back to Texas, I'm currently out of the country and I'm a 20 year old US citizen. Anyway, I don't know if this makes sense but is it possible to buy, register a vehicle and get liability insurance in Texas without a driver's license? According to dmv.com to get a first time driver's license in Texas you need the following: -Provide proof of identity. -Provide proof of Social Security number. -Provide proof of Texas vehicle registration and liability insurance, if you own a vehicle. -Complete required application forms available at any Texas driver license office. -Pay the required fee. -Pass the written, driving, and vision examinations. The applicant must provide the vehicle for the driving test. -Your application must include a photograph and thumbprint. The main reason I ask this is because it says that I need to provide a vehicle for the test with insurance obviously, so does this mean that I can buy, register, and insure my vehicle before I take the driving test to get my driver's license? I do have an out of country driver's license, but I don't know if that will work. I have been driving since I was 15, but now I need my Texas driver's license. I still don't know anyone who could lend me their car for the test. Any suggestions??? Thanks.""

Scooter insurance for 16 year olds?

I turn 16 this year and wanna start riding a 50cc scooter. I found the one i want, i was wondering the rough cost of insurance on a 50cc moped for a 16 year old on a provisional license in the UK. Thanks Jamie Deeks""

Can you get insurance if your spouse doesn't have a license?

Can you get insurance if your spouse doesn't have a license in the state of Texas? My husband has been trying to get quotes for insurance but keeps being told I, his wife, need to have a license. At the time that I was living in Florida, you did not need a vehicle license to drive a vespa (moped, scooter, etc.), just a permit. After moving here to Texas and getting married, the DMV denied me a license even though it had been a year of having both a drivers permit and permit to drive my moped, saying I needed to take the Texas Adult Drivers Course, then pass the driving test to receive my Drivers License. Upon finishing the Adult Drivers Course I went into preterm labor and put on bed rest for two months, which is why i haven't done the driving test yet. Is there any way my husband can get his vehicle insured? (if you could please support with websites that would be greatly appreciated)""

How much would car insurance and tax cost?

I was just wondering how much car insurance and tax and anything else i would have to pay other than the price of the vehicle would cost a 23 year old in England on an Automatic Chevrolet Camaro, Automatic Range Rover Sport or an Automatic Ford Mustang GT.""

2003 Mustang GT insurance cost?

I am looking at a 2003 Mustang GT with 93k miles on it. I am a 16 year old boy and we are looking to add this to my parent's current policy. I have good grades, we will have multiple cars and home insurance with the same company. Any idea on an approximate cost per month for insurance on this car?""

Can i cash a check from an auto insurance company and not fix my car?

i had hit a deer yesterday, i had made a claim with my insurance company. When they send me a check for the damages, can i cash that check and fix the car myself and not go to a body shop?""

Why is it impossible to buy complete insurance?

Why is it impossible to buy complete insurance? (Preferably if you know a lot about economics and health insurance)

Small business insurance?

This is for hw, any info would be helpful I'm opening a salon in hollywood california. (5,000 square feet) How much would I pay in insurance a year? what kind of insurance would i need? Example: i think i would need product liability insurance, professional liability insurance, there are so many different kinds! Which one/ones should I use? and how much would it be? I've been googling and researching for a long time if you can help thank you!!""

Will my parents insurance go up if i get a permit?

I just turn 16, and i wanna take the class. I live in Houston, TX. Will my parents insurance raise if i get a permit? I need answer Quick! Please Help!""

Question on using to insurance to pay for something?

if i went to the doctors and used insurance to pay for it would my parents get a statement that says i used it and what it was for ?

I am a newly licensed 6-20 Florida Insurance Adjuster. My goal is to eventually become an independent adjuster?

I'm thinking since I have no experience, I would start out as a staff adjuster but no one will hire me. Any tips on how to break in? All info is greatly appreciated.""

How long is a quarter period in insurance?

My insurance says: Family coverage: $2,213 per quarter So how long is that? 3 months or what?""

""My husband and I are self employed, he is in heart faiure, our insurance premiums were 800 month, now doubled?""

Our insurance premiums have doubled in fourteen months. This is the cost of my husbands insurance premium only. I have had to go with another insurance company. How can you force me to pay these premiums. It is literally causing us to go broke. I live in Texas and have found a high risk insurance pool that is still 1100 a month, and does not cover as much. How are you going to help people like us?????""

What type of motorcyle is the cheapest to insure?

I heard that insurance is based on ccs and bike type....so what type of bike is the cheapest to insure

When buying life insurance what is the best affordable option?

I am 37 with 2 kids I currently have term life on me for 250,000.00 and 100,000.00 on each of the kids. Now there are tons of different life insurances out here is one really better than the other? I currently have it thru met life does it really matter?""

Can car insurance transfer?

I am under the insurance of my dads current car. If he purchase another car in his name for me, can I transfer from his current car insurance to his new car. (Aka is my name tied to a car) Or is it that I am under his insurance, it covers all cars he purchase. Or is it I have to cancel from his current car insurance plan and sign my name under his to the insurance of the new car. He will be paying.""

""By looking at these charts, can you understand why the U.S. needed health insurance reform?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/03/health-care-costs-_n_3998425.html

Homeowner's Insurance Question...tree fell on my car and I rent!?

So today I had a terrible storm at my house and a tree (about 1/3 of a huge tree) got ripped off from its trunk and landed on my car. I rent from a landlord and she has homeowner's insurance that may/may not pay for the removal of the tree from the yard and my car. My question is, shouldn't her insurance cover the damage to my property (my car)? Her property damaged my property so in my mind her HO insurance should pay for any damage to my car but she said she thought I would have to file a claim on my auto insurance.""

Meadow Valley California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95956

Meadow Valley California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95956

Ford Mustang for a 21 years girl?????

Hi I'm thinking of getting Ford Mustang 2007 but Im a 21 years old girl.. so you think how much the insurance would be?? cuz my friend told me since its a sport car. it might be around $200 a month :(

How come I went on geico for an insurance quote and it said 2000 and people say their's is 75 bucks per year?

Im 18, NY, Kawasaki ZZR600, taken riders safety course, any way to lower my insurance?""

My daughters car insurance has more than doubled because she got 9 penalty points in the last year. she wants ?

me to get insurance on her car and then get her put on that insurance. if she gets more points while she is under my insurance would that affect the price of the insurance on my own cars or would only if she caused an accident make my insurance go up. i could get a years insurance on her car for less than the price of 1 monthly installment she would have to pay for her own insurance. what do you think. if she gets 3 more points she will be disqualified from driving . if that happened while she was on my insurance would that put my insurance prices up even though she would be off my insurance if she did get disqualified. what i have wrote might not make sense. i want to know if i do this for her and she gets disqualified while being on my insurance would that put my insurance prices up for all my cars or what or would it only effect my insurance if she causes an accident. while shes on my insurance. * 41 minutes ago * - 3 days left to answer. Additional Details 40 minutes ago we live in the UK. sorry this is very long i found it hard to write what i was really trying to ask. 33 minutes ago i know if she causes an accident while she is on my insurance ot would effect how much my insurance costs but if she was to get disqualified while she is on my insurance would that effect me inurances oin anyway. if she gets disqualified then she wont be on my insurance anymore. 14 minutes ago only 3 of her penalty points are for speeding. she told me the other 6 points are because there was a mix up with her insurance last time and she was uninured for 4 days and was caught by the police. she got 6 points for that in court a few months ago. she said she that she had phoned them and accepted the policy they sent her to renew it and thought it would continue automatically but she hadnt been to the office to sign for it so she got caught for that. she was only uninsured for 4 days because of her mistake that time. sorry if you already answerd this but i put it on US yahoo answers by a mistake and it didnt show up in UK yahoo answers so i needed answers from people who knows about car insurance in the UK

Cheap insurance for 17 year olds?

ok doing my driving test on tuesday and got a 02 reg 1.1 citroen saxo at most insurance companies im getting told around 10 grand however i have been able to get it down to 6 grand, btw im 17 d.o.b 08/01/94 does anyone know a company where it is cheap for 17 year olds? Thanks""

""How much will car insurance cost me, as a young driver?""

I will be 17 in may next year, but I need to start saving for insurance. Does anyone know any cheap insurance deals, also who they are, and how much? I live in UK thanks :)""

Cheapest cars to insure for a 17 year old?

I was wondering what cars would be the cheapest to insure for a new driver, aged 17. I heard there is all these different groups which relate to the amount of insurance you would have to pay. Also, I would prefer a decent car, so if you know any decent, cheap to insure cars! pleaseeee let me know! thanks! :D""

Ways to make car insurance cheaper?

I know this question or something similar has been asked a lot but i'm 18 and i've just passed my driving test and i'm looking for insurance. I have 2000 saved up and all the quotes i've been given are around this, I know i'm not going to get it much cheaper than this. Does ringing up the insurer and saying you've been given a cheaper like for like quote etc. work in getting the price down? And what companies are recommended for younger drivers? Thanks :)""

Do you need a drivers license to get a car and get put on insurance of parents?

anyway i want to get a car im 21 and no license i want a new vehicle and my parents are bitchin about i need one to get a new car that the dealers wont let me and i also want to be put on my parents insurance so whats going to happen is this bad!?/

Is $300 a month for six months too much to pay for auto liability insurance for an 18 y/o with no experience?

I just got my license. A quote for a '88 Honda Accord from Geico came up to about $300 a month for 6 months. Is this normal? If no, where can I get cheaper insurance. I live in ...show more""

How do you justify an insurance company raising rates by 39% for individual policies?

California insurance regulators asked Anthem Blue Cross to delay controversial rate increases of as much as 39% for individual policies, hikes that have triggered widespread criticism from subscribers and brokers -- and now from the federal government. In a rare step, the Obama administration called on California's largest for-profit insurer to justify its rate hikes, saying the increases were alarming at a time when subscribers face skyrocketing healthcare costs. http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-anthem-obama9-2010feb09,0,4384044.story""

A Vespa is a scooter. What is the average cost of scooter insurance?

A Vespa is a scooter. What is the average cost of scooter insurance?

Information about health insurance please?

Im looking for a cheap but good health insurance. Please let me know what your recommendations are.

Cost of insurance for a Landrover Freelander 1.8i for new driver?

I am 36 & thinking of buying a freelander 1.8i 3 dr for when I pass my test & I just want to know how to find out the cost of insurance without contacting any insurance company.

""So I am 19 years old and received my first speeding ticket, will it increase my insurance?""

I've asked this before and want to clarify. Some people told me the first ticket is a freebee and my insurance won't go up. Others have told me yes, my insurance will go up. I am in the state of California, I have Allstate insurance, and I'm on an insurance plan with my mom. I've been driving for a little over a year. Thanks everyone!""

Where can i get the cheapest car insurance?

i currently use the general

Are there any insurance companies that will cover Suboxone?

My girlfriend takes Suboxone strips twice a day and the Suboxone cost was covered by a program she was in. That program recently expired and we are trying to find out which insurance companies would cover the drug because she simply can't afford to buy the strips out of pocket. She only makes about $200-$250 a week so we were trying to find a low income solution. Are there any companies that we could potentially look into? AETNA is one that we are considering but we wanted to see what options were out there.

Car insurance help. please help me?

I am buying a 2011 camaro 2lt. Now here is what I am thinking. If i put my car under my dad's insurance will my insurance also be lower if i am listen under my dad's insurance and as one of the people who drives the car instead of having the car under my insurance?

Cheapest Car Insurance And Best car to get at 17?

Hello Guys, ive just passed my dirveing Test :D I Got a Pass Plus Witch aprently makes Insurance Alot cheaper. Anways, ive been on all the big sites such as Confused, moneysupermarket ect. And they are offering me around 8Grand for a 0.9l Fiat Cinnequento I dont want that car i just tested to see how much. I really need somewhere cheaper. so could you guys give me best car to try get insured on and where?""

Where you could drive a car without insurance and out of state license?

i have a small car i want to register in newhampshire that i dont have to have insurance there, i have ma drivers license, can anyone tell me where i can do this,i dont want to pay auto insurance and i have ma driver license, i can find anyone to provide me with thier address at defrent state

I am looking for good insurance on a new car.?

I am 21 years old and getting my first new car. Where do you suggest I look for car insurance? I don't have the best driving record. I had an accident in Nov 2002 and a speeding ticket in July 2003. I want to get a lot of coverage, but I don't want to be paying anything outrageous. How much should I be expecting to pay for car insurance?""

Who thinks the health insurance waivers means that companies don't have to provide health insurance?

You'd be wrong. Care to understand why? http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2010/12/10/truth-about-health-care-waivers The bad news is that today mini-meds are often the only affordable option for many low-wage workers because retail and chain restaurants rarely offer their workers options beyond these plans. And because mini-meds are built around annual limits, estimates from employers and insurers indicate that beginning the phase out of annual limits this year would cause mini-med premiums to rise by more than 200 percent, forcing employers to drop coverage and sending many low-wage workers to purchase insurance on the more expensive individual insurance market, where they would get an even worse deal than what they have today. The result would be a whole new population of uninsured Americans. To ensure that we protect the coverage that these workers have today until better options are available for them in 2014, the law allows HHS, in extreme cases, to issue temporary waivers from the phase out of annual limits. There are some important facts to remember about these temporary waivers: The waivers only apply to one provision of the law  the provisions phasing out annual limits. Insurance companies and employers that receive waivers must comply with all other parts of the Affordable Care Act. The waivers last one year. Insurance companies must reapply for the waivers each year between now and 2014 when annual limits on coverage will be completely prohibited and individuals will have more affordable and better private insurance choices in the competitive Exchange markets. All employers and insurers that offer mini-med plans may apply for a waiver if they demonstrate that there will be large increases in premiums or a significant decrease in access to coverage without a waiver. You can read a list of employers and insurers that have received waivers here.""

Teen Girl Insurance on Car?

I will be 16 in October, I am interested in a 1999 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX, I have a 4.0 GPA. How much would that cost? Ball park? Thanks :)""

""Which one is cheaper, car insurance or motorbike insurance ?

where can i find cheap insurance policy for vehicles ?

I recently moved to Brooklyn and I need to find affordable car insurance for my car. Any suggestions?

I know car insurance in NY is not less expensive in general, but any suggestions would help.""

My Car Insurance won't cover this?!?!?

I got into an accident on a rainy day. I did not hold collision or comprehensive. Because I skidded into a ditch and the car rolled, an oil leak occurred. The fire department came and had to put oil dry on the oil leak which was saturating the ground. I hold all the other coverages (liability/property damage, underinsured/uninsured motorist/medical). The fire department bill for the oil leak clean up / hazard removal was $500. The car insurance company says it falls under collision and since I don't have it they don't have to pay out the $500. I insisted it was under liability / property damage as the oil leak is a hazard and causes property damage. Is this fair that they said it falls under collision? Or should I fight it. If so how?""

Meadow Valley California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95956

Meadow Valley California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95956

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/auto-insurance-car-payments-ronald-hall/"

[themoneybuff-blog]

Questions About Child Rearing Costs, Laundry Services, Unused Media, Aldi, and More!

Whats inside? Here are the questions answered in todays reader mailbag, boiled down to summaries of five or fewer words. Click on the number to jump straight down to the question. 1. $250K to raise a kid? 2. Long term care? 3. $20 bill budgeting 4. Expense of laundry service 5. Backlog of unused media 6. 403(b) risky? 7. Cheap or expensive bag? 8. Thoughts on Aldi 9. Is renters insurance necessary? 10. Appliance repair or replace? 11. Saying no to parent 12. Getting value from self-improvement books Spring usually begins with a mix of rainy days and dry days, warm days and cold days. Sometimes, its a warm, dry day and all I want to do is go outside. Other days are wet and cold and I want to stay in out of the rain. The hardest part are the beautiful days when I need to stay inside and work. I want to go outside on a long, long walk through the countryside and through the woods, looking for mushrooms and enjoying the fresh air. Spring is wonderful. On with the questions. Q1: $250K to raise a kid? My husband and I are in our early thirties and were starting to think about having a couple of children in the next few years. We started to look into the costs and the most common figure we found was $250K to raise a child. That cant even be right as there are families that raise kid that barely bring in that in total in 18 years. What is the actual cost of raising a child in your experience? Marion When you see numbers like $250K, youre seeing the total long term cost over a period of at least twenty years, and that often includes paying for college and other such large expenses. Its also an average and includes families who are paying for things like private school. My experience has been that the cost of raising a child is often connected directly to the financial means of the parent. You can raise a child perfectly well on a low income my parents were never, ever very well off when I was growing up and they raised three children. My father worked in a factory (when he wasnt laid off) and had side gigs (most notably commercial fishing) for a living and my mother was a stay-at-home mom. There wasnt a ton of money there. We are most certainly spending more per child on our children than my parents did on me, but the truth is that a lot of the extra expense is on optional things like a band instrument or sports fees or an extra ticket to an event that were going to as a family. We could not spend those things and our child would be perfectly fine. In other words, those $250K estimates are numbers that summarize what parents are choosing to spend on children, not what they have to spend. Outside of some basic things like food, shelter, clothing, public education, and medical care, most expenses related to raising a child are very optional, and many of those required expenses can be incredibly low out of pocket. Q2: Long term care? Read this article: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/10/health/assisted-living-costs-elderly.html What are ordinary people supposed to do when they need long term care? The wealthy can pay for insurance or higher care, but thats not an option for a poor person or even a middle class person. If me or my wife needed long term care I dont know what wed do. Alex This is one of many issues that have radically changed in society during the 20th century and that we havent really figured out how to handle as a society. At the start of the 20th century, people who needed this kind of care usually didnt have the medical care necessary to continue to live. They perished. Thus, it was fairly uncommon for someone to need this kind of care for an extended period of time, and when it did occur, there were typically large families and even whole communities who stepped up to provide that care. Today, much of that has changed. In many situations, medical advancements enable people to live through things that they would not have survived 100 years ago. This means that more people who are in a long term care situation are surviving when they previously would not have done so. At the same time, nuclear families are smaller and communities are less tight-knit, for various reasons. The truth is that as a society, we have not figured out how to handle this yet. We havent figured out how to handle a lot of the advancements of the 20th century yet as a society. One only needs to look at the cruelty of many internet forums as further evidence of this. The problem, of course, is that there is no ready-made solution. Long term care insurance is definitely one step many people can take to gain peace of mind about future situations, but its expensive for many. The honest truth is that many families, when faced with long term care situations, just have to deal with it moment by moment to the best of their ability. Some families struggle to provide that care at home, particularly when theres a larger pool of family members that can help, while others go into debt. Many families rely on some form of government assistance to make it work. If you can easily afford it, long term care insurance is a great idea. If not well, society doesnt have a robust solution for you. The solutions vary widely from situation to situation. Q3: $20 bill budgeting Was reading an internet forum that reminded me of how I used to budget in college. Back then, I used to have an envelope with $10 bills in it. Each month, Id put $300 in $10s in there and each day I would take one out. Aside from rent, I had to live on that $10 each day. It paid for the bus and for food. Strategy I saw used $20 bills today which would be roughly the same. Mary Lets spell out this system a little bit. Aside from scheduled bills like rent, electricity, and so on, a person would aim to live on $20 a day in cash. Each month, a person would withdraw $600 cash from savings in the form of 30 $20 bills and put them in an envelope somewhere secure. Each day, that person would take a $20 bill out of the envelope and put it in their pocket. They would have to live off of that $20 bill and change from the previous months. This gives you room to splurge if you want to, but to do so would involve eating beans and rice for a while. In other words, lean days would directly help with expensive days. It would also be needed to help you make up front purchases like a bus pass, which would ease daily expenses a little going forward. I mentioned this idea to a friend and she said that she would probably try to have days where she could get by without pulling a $20 out of the envelope and then at the end of the month thered be some $20s left over, which shed use for bigger goals or big expenses or emergencies. That seems like a strong idea to me. I think this system would work very well for anyone who is trying to make ends meet on a very tight budget. Q4: Expense of laundry service There is a service in our town that just started that will take your laundry off of your front step and bring it back within 24 hours washed, dried, and folded. The cost is $2 per pound of clothes (rounded up to nearest pound), paid up front. I am trying to do the math on whether this makes sense or not for us. Amy A typical large load of laundry weighs somewhere between 7 and 10 pounds, but that really varies depending on how much you stuff in your washer with a typical load. I actually weighed a load of laundry that I just pulled out of our dryer on a kitchen scale and it weighed about 9.5 pounds. So, youre paying somewhere between $15 and $20 per load of laundry to be done for you. What is that saving you? The big savings is the time. You arent carrying your clothes to the washer and filling it up. Youre not moving clothes to the dryer. Youre not folding those clothes, either. Thats all done for you. In terms of cost, the cost of a load of laundry at home, including all materials, energy, and equipment depreciation, is around $1. So, in essence, youre paying someone between $14 and $19 to put a load of clothes into the washer, transferring them to the dryer when done, then folding them for you when the drying is done. Thats at most half an hour of effort, and probably less than that. Thus, unless you are very strapped for time and can extract a lot more than $30 of value per hour out of an extra freed-up hour, then this isnt a cost-effective move. It essentially adds up to paying $15 or a little more for an extra 20 minutes or half an hour of free time. Q5: Backlog of unused media What are your thoughts on people who have large unused media collections and keep buying more without using what they have? Why does that happen? Is there a fix? I noticed this myself with my collection of Kindle books recently. My son is home from college and he piped up and said that he actually has a lot of computer games unplayed as we often buy him Steam gift cards. He has a ton of computer games left unplayed yet he will often seek out new ones. I want to be less into getting new stuff and more into using what I have. Mike The reasons actually pretty simple: buying and acquiring and getting and collecting new items for your collection scratches a much different itch than actually enjoying the items in that collection. I have the same issue in some areas of my life (far fewer than I used to, thankfully). The feeling that acquisition and discovery gives you is much different and I think more addictive than the feeling that diving deep gives you. This is particularly true when you dont have as much time as youd like to dive deep, but thats not the sole cause of it. The only solution Ive found that works is to put moratoriums on new acquisitions. Give yourself a 30 day or a 90 day challenge to simply not buy any new Kindle books. Suggest the same for your son with his Steam games. If you have the urge, ignore it or, if you must take action, put that item on a wishlist. This does a great job of strongly curtailing that desire to acquire, but its a desire that can easily grow if youre not being conscious about it. I find that doing these kinds of moratoriums regularly does a pretty good job of slowing down my collecting nature. As for actually using those backlogs, the best thing Ive ever done is to consciously block off time in my schedule for that kind of exploration. I block off an hour a day for reading, and that has caused my book backlog to evaporate. I block off time on many weekends to play board games and that means the games in my collection are getting much more play. Q6: 403(b) risky? I work at [a public university]. One of my coworkers claims that people shouldnt put money into a 403(b) because politicians will eventually target that money for extra taxation or reclamation because it is public funds. He thinks that because we are government employees our 403(b) money will eventually get reclaimed by the government so saving in a 403(b) is a waste. Is this even possible? Ana Well, anythings possible, I suppose. However, if youre running your life in response to what you think its possible that the government might do, youre walking by a ton of opportunity. I mean, I think its possible that the government might outlaw certain classes of opioids. Does that mean I should start hoarding them, just in case, even though theyre very likely to just sit in my cupboard and go bad? Of course not, and I consider new opioid restrictions to be far more likely than any changes to 403(b) taxation. Let me put it to you this way: if the United States government starts retroactively taxing the retirement savings of a large class of citizenry in a way that invalidates the entire reason for putting money in there in the first place, we will already be in an extremely ugly situation that will get much uglier. 401(k) and 403(b) plans are already big wins for the federal government because its a way to pump tons and tons of money into investments and thus helping the economy in exchange for merely delaying taxes for a while. The government makes far more money leaving 401(k) and 403(b) plans just as they are than if they were to tinker with them in a way that would drive people away from them. It is possible that the government would do something like that, but if theyre doing things like that, then we have much bigger fish to fry, like a rapidly devaluing dollar. In fact, most financial conspiracy theories that people use to justify weird financial choices are ones that, if they came to fruition, would be completely overshadowed by a collapsing economy and a hyperinflated dollar. In my opinion, a 403(b) is about as safe as you can get, and the risks you are taking by having one are overshadowed by the risk of having your money in the form of American dollars, and I dont consider that much of a risk either. The only realistic change I can see to a 403(b) is that they might change how the program works in the future, and that would probably involve sunsetting the current 403(b) program and letting the current accounts continue to exist without further contributions while introducing some form of replacement account. They absolutely would not want to risk any mass withdrawals from 403(b) plans if they abruptly taxed them, Wall Street would lay an egg and the value of the dollar would plummet. The government will bend over backwards to avoid that, not encourage it. Q7: Cheap or expensive bag? I need a messenger bag or backpack for work. I have been looking at the options and it seems like you can either get a cheap one for like $20 that will last for a year maybe before the straps start breaking or you can get one for like $200 that will last for several years maybe five or ten, maybe twenty. Cheap bag does the job now for only $20 but I will be replacing it before long if I use it every day. Expensive bag will do it practically for life but its really expensive right now and I have a hard time justifying spending $200 on a bag. I know you lean toward buying things for life and I can see that the long term cost might be lower with the expensive bag, but I cant justify $200 on a bag right now. Duane To me, the deciding factor in these situations is the cost of failure. What exactly happens when a bag fails on you? In my own experience, thats usually the moment when its time to get a new bag the old one failed in some way. A strap breaks or the bottom rips out or something like that. Whats the consequences of that kind of failure? What happens if youre actively using your bag and suddenly a strap breaks on your or the bottom rips out? If the consequences arent too disastrous, thats a mark toward a cheaper bag. If the consequences are dire, thats a mark toward a more expensive bag. Personally, one of the things I strongly consider when buying an item is the consequence of failure. If it causes a potentially major career or life hardship or an enormous mess, Im going to get the reliable version. If its something small, like an overcooked or undercooked meal, the cheaper version seems much more acceptable to me. For me, this was what drew me to getting a buy it for life kind of bag for daily use. Q8: Thoughts on Aldi Aldi just opened up in my community. We shopped there and thought it was okay and that the prices were great but there were weird little annoyances with layout and selection and the carts. Then I saw on CNN about how Aldi is expanding fast. What are your thoughts on Aldi? Good place to shop? Alice Im guessing that this is the CNN story that Alice is referring to. That article describes it well: they strip down the shopping experience as much as possible to make the prices low. What Ive found is that it means that their selection is kind of limited and some of their items arent particularly healthy, but their prices on what they do have are amazing. There are two different Aldi stores within about fifteen minutes of my house. Aldi is probably the cheapest grocer available to me, though Fareway isnt too far behind them and has a somewhat better selection. I basically find that the cheaper a grocery stores prices are, the weaker the selection is and the more bare-bones the shopping experience is. I generally dont mind the bare-bones shopping experience, but I do find that it restricts what I can cook if I only use Aldi (or, to a much lesser extent, Fareway). I find that if I shop at Aldi, I usually have to make a second stop for some items; occasionally, I have to do the same with Fareway, but not too often. Other grocers, like Hy-Vee, will have everything I need, but the prices are higher. Thus, it comes down to a convenience thing and a meal planning thing. If I plan very simple meals, I can get everything I need at Aldi, but our meals arent very varied. Theyre certainly cheap, but not varied. If I add more variety, I either need to make multiple stops when grocery shopping, adding significant time to my shopping trip, or shop at Fareway or even Hy-Vee. Honestly, I still mostly shop at Fareway. The prices are very good and they generally have almost everything I need. Aldi is lower on the items that overlap with Fareway, but I usually dont have to make a second stop if I shop at Fareway, its closer to my home, and the prices arent really that different for a typical weeks grocery list. Aldi is great if your list is entirely common food staples, and I do shop there sometimes. Q9: Is renters insurance necessary? Is it always necessary to get renters insurance? Just moved out from parents and my apartment has a bunch of Goodwill stuff and family hand me downs. If its gone I dont lose much. Matt First of all, its very possible that your landlord requires you to have some sort of renters insurance policy. Youll need to look carefully at your lease; if you dont have it, you might be in violation of your lease. Many leases require the renter to have a $100,000 (or more) liability policy. Honestly, the big reason that many first time renters need renters insurance is for the liability coverage. If you accidentally burn down the building and its clear youre at fault, the landlords insurance may cover some of it, but you also have a legal liability too. If you dont have insurance, that can be a huge problem. Renters insurance is pretty cheap, though. You can get a policy that includes $30,000 in property coverage (covering your stuff in event of theft or disaster) and $100,000 in liability for around $15 a month. I think its a good idea, even for people without much stuff, to get this kind of insurance if theyre renting, just because the cost is so low compared to the downside. Q10: Appliance repair or replace? Our washing machine has broken down twice in the last six months. A family friend has fixed it both times but he says that to really fix the problem will cost about $200 in parts and that we should get someone else to fix it as hes more of a handyman. Time to replace? Noelle Absolutely. I dont even hesitate to say yes to this. When a repair bill is going to be a large portion of the cost of replacing an older item, its time to replace the item, as there are likely other points of failure coming in the future. There are exceptions to this, of course. If you are familiar with repairing the item yourself or have an interest in figuring it out, then you should by all means give it a shot. If you can find the parts for cheap and want to tackle the repair on your own, maybe with the help of that friend, then its probably worth it. My guess is, given the price, that electronic components are involved, but the actual procedure shouldnt be too difficult. However, thats not something that necessarily appeals to everyone or works with everyones life. In that situation, I think a replacement is very justified. The nice part is that your current washer should last long enough to allow you to shop around. Q11: Saying no to parent Im 31 years old and single. My father passed away about six years ago. My mom didnt handle it well and has become an alcoholic and possibly a drug user. She comes to me and my brother regularly to borrow money. She does manage to keep her job at a grocery store that shes had since I was a kid but I have heard that the manager keeps her on out of loyalty and she shows up to work drunk sometimes. She was so wonderful raising me and to see her like this tears me apart but I dont know how to say no when she asks. She asks frequently enough that it does put some financial strain on my situation, though I am still making progress on my student loans. Do you have any advice for me? Megan If I were you, the absolute first step I would take is to find an Al-Anon group for you. The purpose of Al-Anon is to support people in your exact situation, those that have loved ones with alcohol abuse issues. It sounds like your mother is a good person who was broken in some way by the death of your father and she doesnt know what to do so she uses alcohol to self-medicate, and that is causing difficulties in your own life. Al-Anon can help you deal with things on your own end and perhaps help you figure out how to help your mother. There will probably come a point where you will have to tell her no, but I cant really offer specific advice on that because I dont know the specific situation. I can simply recommend Al-Anon as a great next step. Q12: Getting value from self-improvement books A lot of times when I read a book about personal finance or getting organized, the ideas make a lot of sense but then I close the cover and none of it seems to matter or take hold in my life and before long Ive forgotten everything other than a few main points. Do you have any tips for making personal finance books or organizing books more sticky in my head? Mary There are two key elements that I think make the difference for me. The first is that I take a lot of notes as Im reading it. If its on the Kindle or a copy I dont mind abusing, Ill do a ton of highlighting as I go. If its a library book, Ill put in bookmarks as I go. Then, when Im done, I wait a few days, then go back through the highlights and take actual handwritten notes on the book. This impresses the ideas into my mind. The other part is that, from those notes, if I have positive thoughts about the book at all, I try to put some of those notes into practice immediately. I usually do a thirty day challenge with some of the suggestions in the book, meaning I try to apply them as well as I can for thirty days in my life. If it seems like the trial run will actually be a net positive change, Ill keep going with it, doing a ninety day challenge with perhaps some revisions. The goal here is to try to set those changes as a habit in my life. Rolling back a bit, I find that Im more successful with this kind of change if Im already strongly interested in the type of change that the book is targeting before I ever start reading it. If its not a change thats compelling to you, its probably not worth your time to read a book on any self-improvement topic. Got any questions? The best way to ask is to follow me on Facebook and ask questions directly there. Ill attempt to answer them in a future mailbag (which, by way of full disclosure, may also get re-posted on other websites that pick up my blog). However, I do receive many, many questions per week, so I may not necessarily be able to answer yours. https://www.thesimpledollar.com/questions-about-child-rearing-costs-laundry-services-unused-media-aldi-and-more/