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#these are a lil old now im just trying to keep this blog alive
spengsart · 1 year
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guy time
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smutav · 4 years
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So i posted the pictures I had for my xray and comic in this post here and I said id wait a year but I’ve decided I need to lay this project to rest and move on to what comes next. Its under the cut because its mad king heavy
the old man part was fully scripted out so I’m going to throw the script in here first then it’ll be just notes for the general plotline
(M) Old Man   = O1 / (J) Old Man   = O2 / Xray          = X / Vav           = V
we come in on Xray and Vav coming onto the scene but we start lookin at the old men
O2: "Uh Oh, the calvaries here" O1: "issit the popo? tell them they cant make me go back... to that horrible home... fulla old people..." O2: "No.. its those spandex kids again" O1: "Oh, the blue one confused me... so blue jus like those dirty cops" O2: "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE" [O2 throws something that lands nowhere near xray and vav] V : "Look you have to stop causing a ruckus!" O1: "ah ah ah prettyboy we got da bomb" O2: "Thats right if you get in our way it'll be a real stinker!" O1: "Uh Ohhhh"
X : "you have got to be kidding me" O1: "I'm too old for kidding, im old-ding over here" V : "What are you doing with a bomb!?" O2: "We've got demands!" O1: "Oh yeah lots of demands!" O2: "We want.... Pudding!" O1: "Oh yeah and none of that rice shit in there" O2: "get that rice out of our pudding no chunks!" O1: "itsa chokin hazard, I almost died when they had that at the home" O2: "thats why we left they was tryna kill us" O1: "But you only show up to stop two guys havin fun" O2: "Ya punks!" [Vav has snuck over to the obviously hidden 'stink bomb' and gags when he sees whats under the cover]
O2: "Ey!" [he smacks Vav with a cane] "gettaway from there" O1: "These two have no manners" O2: "they jus go touchin stuff that doesnt belong to them!" O1: "Well two can play at that game" [he moves towards Xray pointing at his glasses] "I want those" X : "How about I give you this instead" [he shoots a lazer at the old guy but it bounces off his walker] O1: "uh oh you shouldn't have done that" X : "oh yeah what if i do it again" [it really has the same result smart guy]
[Vav at the same time is dealing with.. a really slow old guy. and he dodges a punch an the old guy just keeps goin down and hits the ground] O2: "Ah! I'm hit thats it for me! [he tries to get up but just knocks himself over again] it's over for me I'm deadd. You killed me ya bastard" V : "I really didn--" O2: "this blood is on your handssss ohhh im goinnnn" [Vav backs off while the old man keeps slowly 'dying' to help out with Xray who's wrestling for his glasses from O1]
X : "Youre smudging up my glasses!" O1: "oh i'll do more than that" [he moves to take a lick at them] X : "no you dont!" [He punches the old man square in the jaw] O1: [catches himself on the walker] "you want a boxing match, i used ta have the belt ya know" [he lands a punch on xray who doesnt even flinch]
V : [Vav comes up from behind and pulls the old man away] O1: "No he's got me!" [he flails a bit but ineffectively to get out] "this is just like the 40s you cant stop all this" V : "We're sending you both back to the old folks home just stay there this time!" O1: "You'll never keep us caged! We'll always be ba-- Oh no is this a heart attack? Ma is that you in the light I'm-- I'm comin... comin to kick your dead ass" [and he's dead]
[Xray and Vav dump the old guys on an elderly bus they're used to dealing with these guys 'dying' and approach the stink bomb which is the stink jug but theres wires and stuff attached to supposedly detonate it] X: "Well I guess we'll have to deal with this" [he kicks the 'stink bomb' and Vav goes green] V: "I guess it'd be best to get it to Hilda she'll know how to get rid of it" X: "right lets go" [he starts walking leaving Vav to carry the barrel, poor vav]
I hope the notes after this make sense plot wise a lot of it was going to be explored deeper as we get drawing XDD ((also you get all my note writing jokes that i make to myself))
V = xray and vav / K = mad king / R  = rimmy tim / M = mogar
(V) - I need,, some basic everyday hero biz to start the story with - tIME TO THROW THE OLD MEN IN THERE (K) - He decides to try out his powers a lil test run ((around Hilda's lab)) - Xray and Vav crash the party ofc - He gets by them EASY slow mo can't do much against teleporting - He didn't have much of a goal for it but, now he knows he has the upper hand on Xray and Vav - He leaves victorious (V) - He gets the business end of a run in with ender ryan - What was that?? he can teleport?? - Well we have to figure something out! (R) - Rimmy Tim runs into Mad King - Which is wild! thought he was dead! - but he does have some weird ass shit going on (K) - Wow running into Rimmy Tim isnt that neat? - He pays no mind to the Battle Buddy (R) - Rimmy Tim is crashing at Jake's place ((to be relevant)) - He also meets Xray and Vav but nobody knows what his full deal is ((and theyre distracted from having they ass kicked))
(V) - Vav is the plan guy - They get intel that he has a weird power source - it gave him the powers so if they can figure it out maybe they can take them away! - We'll need to be stealthy boys... - MOGAR! - ask mogar for help, he distract while they sneak in and nab the gem (M) - The plan involves Mogar fighting Mad King up front - Mogar runs into Rimmy Tim and is suspicious of him (K) - Ofc he knew Xray and Vav would make a plan - Mogar comes to fight him aw they just decided to send a fwiend - Mad King is busy beating Mogar and doesn't notice that they got the gem ((Uh Oh! Plothole!)) (M) - They dont see him at the meeting place (K) - He Notices when he decides to experiment with it and tries out a lesser power source - Resulting in Zombie Mogar
(V) - They HAVE to find Mogar - poking around the outside for a sign of him they find his sword in the dumpster - thats,,, not good - its really heavy but if vav straps it to his back he can handle it - they wind up splitting up for any sign of Mogar (K) - Well if you're going to be rude about it - [teleports in the streets] - Have it your way do what you want - [and he leaves Mogar there] - when he teleports back Rimmy Tim is there and he quips ab how convenient tping is (R) - MK has him get rid of the new power source obviously a failure (V) - It gets dark but vav hears a noise in the alley - He finds Mogar! But he's eating something - Mogar growls and starts running at him - *british screaming* - As he BOOKS IT around a corner Xray runs into him and Vav just grabs his arm - NO TIME TO EXPLAIN - so what the plans just fucking run - oh wait thats Jake's van - *climbs in* wEHAVE TO GO HIT THE GAS - bro its a red light - iTS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT THERES NO TRAFFIC JUST - Mogar jumps on the vAAAAAAAA - Thats enough to convince Jake she slams on the gas - " you guys are paying for any tickets i get"
((for context, Jake is my oc she has an ask blog that I was planning to use to be like in between she and rimmy tim are hanging out and you might find out things from interacting w her. But for character knowledge she’s an appliance installer that works with The Monarchy’s Servants. Which that is the company that installs the stuff that comes out of Monarch Labs. there was also a whole bit where she and rimmy tim would be hanging out and he’d be joking like oh do you ever go in like “ah m’lord!! is this installation to your liking thank you m’lord!!” and she’d goof back if he ever had a house for her to install shit in she’d do it just for him.
and for how Jake and Rimmy tim met it was at 3am dennys a few years ago and they been buds ever since))
(R) - Jake's checking on her van later and Rimmy Tim comes out to give a hand - and he asks what happened and she's shaking a lil - she just leaves it as hero biz as usual she thinks (V) - bloody hell we have to help mogar! - yeah what did Mad King do to him! - they gotta bait and catch him (R) - Jake gets a call from xray and vav asking for help getting mogar to a lab - Rimmy Tim tags along and gets to see Mogar (M) - Xray and Vav catch mogar and have him leashed in the lab - But?? Is he dangerous?? Can he contaminate others??
(R) - This is wrong - RYAN is wrong - Rimmy Tim,, Has to do something - discussion doesnt work, Ryan's just a wall discussion wise - theres no talking him out of anything he's too absorbed (V) - Mogar has good moments - reference the rotten flesh test w vav (K) - Rimmy Tim is getting increasingly worried ab him - Rimmy Tim mentions Mogar - Well it wasn't on PURPOSE - but yeah i did that - No, I don't particularly know how to reverse it (R) - Rimmy Tim tries talking hey what if we just did this partner like - Nothing can beat the battle buddies then this can all be done right? - Mad King brushes him off and tells him to stay out of his business - Ryan gets caught in the rain - He claws Rimmy's face oh no! his money maker! - Rimmy Tim decides enough is enough and leaves to help Xray and Vav fix this,,, fix him,,, (V) - They hear Mad King in the rain - hhhhh i dont want to deal with more monsterrrrssss - Rimmy Tim joins the team! - he explains his history with Mad King - and how he's worried - wORRIED LOOK WHAT HE'S DONE TO MOGAR - He digs out the lesser power source that was used on Mogar - THIS made THAT *points at Mogar* (K) - Mad King is bandaged and goes to sleep off the pain and *emotions* (gross) of the evening - as he drifts off instead of dreaming he finds himself seeing through Jeremy's damaged eye - He just sees xray and vav but he cant hear a word - needless to say he feel betrayed
(Finale leadup)
- they need a plan to catch MK - Xray and Vav decide to drill RT ab possible weaknesses - he doesnt have much to contribute though they havent worked together in years and he didnt have all this magic junk going on. - and all RT's seen of the magic junk is teleporting - Well have you seen his hideout? can you explain like layout or whats going on there - oh fuck yeah i guess that is intel lemme sketch it out
- Hilda is playing around with whats the difference between the gem they stole from MK and the one that RT says changed Mogar - Mayhaps after some experimentation gone wrong she figures they cant use the thing against him but need a device that'll remove that specific energy - so you know a SUCKING machine - While she's working so closely with this she starts having enderhilda dreams but like when she's awake shes like yeah thats neat but you aint caught my interest you dumb gem
- Wait RT if you and MK used to be in cahoots do you have any powers that can beat him? - I got guns we were guns for hire you know battle buddies - wot MK doesnt use guns he plays mind games - well yeah NOW he does he uh-- didnt have it all together after our last mission
(flashback)
- Battle buddies are cleaning up after a mission - they're both pretty angry like we wound up being the bad guys AGAIN how does this keep happening - RT agrees he's not a fan of dirty cash - MK comes to the conclusion if i controlled these sheeple nobody would be calling my shots and makin me do the wrong thing - come on ryan ya cant control people thats wrong - whats a little more blood on my hands if it means making things better on the whole - and MK winds up leaving the battle buddies :C
(Finale)
- Hilda comes in like hey i got your guys's sucking machine go suck off mad king or whatever - and vavs like Alright! lets make a plan lads! - then we go to MK - he can see them coming, he's gotten practice watching through RT's eyes - he gets the machine from them as theyre barely through the door - "well I was curious what this would do but what does it matter anyways" - and he's got like some full ender shadow clones to help with the fight and they all pair off ((not like an army literally just enough to pair off MK dont need an army to beat these guys)) - the real MK personally faces off RT though :) - RT "why do i get the real ryan why couldnt you face off with like vav or something" - MK "im curious if you could shoot me 'buddy'" - RT "well I doubt i'll do something but i do owe you one ;)" and he do shoot him but yeah the bullets are stopped and do nothing - MK "I do hope you brought something else if youre turning against the MAD KING you have best be prepared" - RT "what can i say" [drops gun] "I stick to my guns" [throw punch]
- but yeah after the fighting and witty dialogue clears it looks like MK do have the upper hand - RT was left bleeding out ((stabbed through with pointy fingers oooo MK got his blood literally on his hands)) - While MK is monologuing RT sneaks into the bathroom which MK pauses mid monologue when he sees a flash of RT's bloody hand reaching for the showerhead - cant believe that fuck - and RT comes out and hoses him down ((yes it reaches that far LOOK its got a long hose)) - then MK's on the ground fucking sizzling - vav's like oh right! and jumps up to get the sucking machine and they use it on MK
(epilogue)
- Jake drops RT off where they got MK locked up and shes like "do what u gotta do man" and RT's like "thanks for understanding bud" - and he gets in MK shifts to look at him - RT starts to apologize for ruining his plan but gets interrupted as MK says "you were right" - which is a SHOCKING thing to hear from that guy - and mad king is like "thank you" - and we end on "anytime buddy."
so that was my plot I havent been kidding when I said it was a long comic plan. Its been heartbreaking to have this whole thing ripped from me but I can’t tell a story about friendship w a manipulator. 
I’m not sure how long it’ll be until I actually get another thing started but I hope its soon because I was very excited to share a good long story with the xray and vav fandom and I thought this plot wouldve been like a good season worth of content
I had some draws tagged under “#its all connected” and they were all me working on this idea before I actually decided to write it out and try for a whole comic after being inspired by some close friends and the good at being bad animation collab
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ultraclops · 4 years
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Semi-live Blogging: Return of the Mao Mao Episodes
Before we start, is it just me or is the animation like 10x smoother than it usually is? Also like I said with Nakey, there’s a lot more good expressions too!
Lucky Ducky Mug
Adorabat drinks from sippy cup like baby
"What, Mao Mao's ridiculous mug?" says Badgerclops, holding a cheap plastic big gulp cup he probably got from the grocery store.
How did Adorabat not notice the Lucky Ducky sticker on the Aerocycle
"Don't touch it" (Badgerclops proceeds to slam the table to move it) Ah Badgerclops, ever the contrarian
I'M SORRY DID MAO MAO BLOW THE ROOF OFF OF HQ BY SCREAMING
I love the way Mao says "PROFESSIONAAAL SILENCEEE"
Badgerclops trying to make his mouth disappear and failing made me scream with laughter
Are they seriously reducing Ratarang to 'the funny lil Italian guy'? C’mon guys you’re better than this
Wait why do they think Kevin is Adorabat?? They've seen Adorabat multiple times?? "But they're both blue!" You FOOL Kevin is TEAL there's a difference
Everybody gangsta til Mao Mao's ears start speaking morse code
They're doing surprisingly good silent but it's probably not gonna be that way very long.
Thank you, Lucky Ducky Mug, for catering to my niche interest in characters with neon outlines on black backgrounds.
Mao Mao thinking: Normal thoughts
Badgerclops thinking: Musical-esque singing
Adorabat thinking: Literally just heavy metal
The Sweetypies seriously think they're just playing a really intense game of charades huh,,,
(Mao jabs BC in the stomach with the fire net) HAHA GET REKT
The scene with Badgerclops trying to give Mao Mao Penny's mug is the funniest shit in the world I couldn't stop laughing...or maybe I'm just sleep-deprived
So the Sky Pirates are so similar compared to the Sheriff's Dept. that they can think perfectly in sync? That's cool
SKY PIRATES SONG SKY PIRATES SONG
Why is Snugglemagne throwing a random tea party & why did he only invite the Sheriff's Dept.
Yep there goes the plan. Both of their plans.
Am I going crazy or did the skin on Mao Mao's mouth tear apart like it was sewn shut?! Also yay they're talking again
"It's not gonna stop charging, so I'm just gonna let it explooode..." Mood
"What about the mega laser tube made by mega Losers?" Fsfhkfh
Hey, everyone learned something new from this experience! Are the Sky Pirates gonna try that Hive Mind tactic from now on?
Awww, they fixed his mug with gold - GOD DAMN IT I KNEW THERE WAS A CATCH!!
Lonely Kid
(Sighs) ...I said (SIGHS)
"I literally can't relate to that problem at all." says Badgerclops, who joined a gang because he wanted people to like him.
Shin just dropped off Mao Mao at a summer camp and expected him to make friends? Why does this feel like the plot of Camp Camp
I'm sorry the Mao clan has a freaking PARTY AERO-BUS??
NOO GERALDINE
That BGM is DEFINITELY an extended version of "I Love You, Mao Mao" and I want the lyrics NOW
So Bao was literally just a stray that Mao took home?? Would make sense as to why he wasn't trained
I have a feeling the Flimborg is some sort of sacred being the townspeople worship for some reason
How in the hell did Mao tie that guy up and why didn't he bother to untie him
HOW'D HE SET THE ROCKS ON FIRE USING PAINT
"And then you become frien-" "BEES. IN THE EYES."
"Everyone knows bees are our friends!" "Uh, actually, they were wasps." "Friends to no-one!" Usually I'd agree with BC, but I read an article about someone befriending a wasp and her babies so.
So the Mao clan's just known as the "Golden Cat Family Up The Hill?" Huh. I thought they’d have more recognition, especially since Shin says he went to that same summer camp at the beginning.
Man those kids are jackasses
"Say hi to your mommy!" "I would if she was here..." Excuse me wHAT
Noo don't cry baby boi - tHEN BAO JUST TACKLES HIM ASFHDKDL
"Go away! I don't feel like laughing right now!"
Look. You can see the EXACT point Mao developed his adult personality
I know Mao Mao means well but that is gonna go terribly wrong.
"I AM A HERO! I WILL BE LOVED!!" Okay first of all OUCH, second of all THAT IS PAIN
This monster empty, YEET
Awww it was just a sweet little puppy-ish monster...and it was his BIRTHDAY
"Hi, Aunt Gloria!" (Pulls out pitchfork) BETRAYAL
He didn't feel bad about ruining the festival because he made a friend doing it I 💞💞💝💝💗💗
Thanks for that 'different times' comment cuz I don't want kids thinking being beat is normal.
"Just like you found me...and I'm your best friend!" Tbh I thought she was gonna say 'Me and Badgerclops' & that would make a lot more sense
Why are they fighting over who's his best friend they're obviously BOTH his best friends
I'm sorry did Badgerclops just call Adorabat a "little mutant"?? ARE THE SWEETYPIES MUTANTS??
Awww his friends love him sm...and he feels so loved too...💓💓💗💗💕💕
Try Hard
No one gives a shit about Pinky being kidnapped lol
"K for Copyright Infringement"
"You'll never be like me!" Oof a little harsh maybe?
"You've gotta learn to be your own kind of hero, in your own special way!" So THAT'S where it's from
"You just gotta...try hard." Hey, title drop!
Ngl the moment Mao Mao said "Badgerclops take the shot" I immediately thought of The Confession 3 by TomSka
"Up in a tree, little old me, about to do something...UGLY..." 7-year-old me sniping people on Halo 3 like
Why is he shooting them with gelatin tho? ...oh. Oh THAT'S why.
Tbh if I didn't have subtitles on I would've thought BC was saying "beep boop"
This badger and cat empty, YEET
Adorabat walking into the Skyship with only a walkie-talkie is giving me some sort of vibes...OH, Silent Hill! Or Tattletail
WHOOP HIS ASS SWEETIE
"Mao Mao would hide the body!" Very unsubtle there, wonder how it got past censors
"Ratarang, say something!" "Pasketti?" "THAT'S THE BRAT!"
Wait a sec, they can just use Badgerclops' arm to power the ship? Why didn't they try that in CapturedClops?
"Good thing my head is in here cuz I'm a-scared of heights!" Ramaraffe. Whose whole schtick is making herself taller. Is acrophobic?
"Because she's Sheriff's Department, that's how! >:3" "Also y'all tend to be pretty incompetent >X/"
Why does she keep trying to use the elevator when she can fly? Nvm she climbed up Badgerclops' arm
"Ooooh I'm also hereeee"
"JERK BUTT"
Why is the Omega Field just a bunch of broken glass? And why doesn't she just step around it?
"I can fly!" "She can fly!" "SHE FORGOT?!" Ooh that's why
"You're the best thing to ever happen to a bat like me." 💝💝💕💕💓💓
Wait she's talking through the walkie-talkie and her molts are there but she isn't there where is she?
Oh she was freeing the other two from the gelatin. No wonder Mao Mao almost threw up, it was bug flavored.
GET HIS ASS, HONEY!! ADORASLAP!!
I hope that 'Nah' means Adorabat's realized she needs to be herself instead of her just rejecting her individuality like I think it is.
Scared Of Puppets
Oh, so this takes place after Sleeper Sofa! Praying it's a fix-it episode...
"DISCARD ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T BRING YOU JOY!!" Fuckin Marie Kondo up in here
Oh no PTSD flashbacks. He's scared of them cuz one's head landed on his lap as a kid? Understandable have a nice day.
Who tf collapsed into a sobbing heap on the floor then leaps back up and insists they're fine? Mao Mao, apparently.
Hairless ape? Is that what they call humans or are they something different in general?
"TAKE ALL MY MONEY!!" What did BC want an antique puppet for if he had no idea Mao was scared of them...
Mr. Din Dandalib!
"I...(eye twitch) love him too..."
IM SORRY DID HE FUCKING THROW UP OUT OF FEAR...holy SHIT
If I scared my friend and they threw up I would simply never do that again. RIP to Badgerclops but I'm different
(Badgerclops makes concrete blocks around the pothole) "Why didn't you just fill in the pothole??" "I AM TRYING MY BEST!!"
"I SIGNED YOUR DUMB CAST, NOW LEAVE!!"
...Illegal house plants? ...like marijua-
That was literally just that one video where a guy knocked out another guy in a mask jumping out of a trash can...
So it's a CPR class...AND a hair-styling class? How
I stg the moment Badgerclops walked in the door I knew he was carrying Mr. Din Danalin I SWEAR
"You're 10." "BUT I'M 6??" JFC Shin doesn't know his own son's age AND is partially responsible for his pupaphobia. And I called it on Mao Mao being six in the flashbacks
OH WIG
Can someone take the footage of the Annex exploding and add the ReviewTechUSA intro over it please
"How many Adult Learning Annexes have to be destroyed before you admit you're scared of puppets?!" is extremely funny without context
(Mao punches the wall cuz hes mad at himself for being scared) Kinkinkinkinki
How does one forget to drink milk
Oh shit the scene from the promo...
Yay he's starting to feel less scared - wait NVM it JUST STARTED TALKING??
OG SGUTVKC FGCJ OG SHKR OF DJCN JKKKKK
Oh it was just a dream - er, nightmare. FIRST NIGHTMARE SEQUENCE OF THE SERIES!
"I just gotta get my socks on...wait, I wear socks, right?" Dud e you wear NOTHING BUT A BELT...
"I KNEW SELLING THOSE HAIRLESS APE DOLLS WOULD ATTRACT DARK FORCES"
"There’s a lot of pu-" "PUBLIC DANGER"
Those puppets are alive I stg
"I'M A BIG BOI..."
Awwww she said what he told her at the beginning of the episode!
"I'M AFRAID OF PUPPETS" TITLE DROP YET AGAIN
Adorabat takes after Badgerclops sometimes I swear
Oooh shit sequel hook - oh NVM it was Badgerclops voice acting - NVM Mao Mao passed out. Dang
The Perfect Couple
Watermelon time babyyy
TRANSFORMATION TIME BABYYYY
Ah so he wanted to perfectly cut a watermelon in half, that's why he got so many?
"I need (counts on fingers) 600 more watermelons!" glad to see I'm not the only one who counts on my fingers
Why would Penny and Benny need 600 watermelons for their wedding? Also I called it on Penny & Benny being the couple
Mao Mao has to officiate the wedding? I thought priests did that
Please don’t throw up again Mao Mao
"I WILL BUY YOU A BAG TO HOLD YOUR STUFF..."
"A nondescript sack!!" Dude he just taking out the trash...
Nvm its just laundry
"I WILL TURN THIS BUSH AROUND"
Oh so THAT'S what Ramaraffe thought Kevin was Adorabat
"Why don't you buy me cake and do my laundry?" Are you implying you wanna marry Mao Mao, Badgerclops 👀
I lov Mao Mao's faces in this scene he legit looks like a bishouen anime protagonist
Nvm no transformation it's just his wedding outfit
Why did they invite Orangusnake and Boss Hosstritch to the wedding tho? What about when they hid in their moving truck and used their electricity - wait Badgerclops technically did that last one, nvm
Wait THEY DIDN'T TALK TO EACH OTHER BEFORE THE WEDDING?? What a perfect couple huh
Is Mao Mao having hallucinations just gonna be a regular thing now....
IS PENNY SERIOUSLY GONNA MARRY ORANGUSNAKE OUT OF SPITE ASFSDGFUK
Why did Mao Mao say "melons" in a Spanish accent I'm scared
"They're both terrible, so what does it matter if they get hitched or not?" They're definitely gonna change their minds now
"She lied because she wanted to protect his feelings! And he lied because he couldn't bear to hurt her!" Isn't that just the plot of The Truth Stinks?
OH SHIT HE CUT ORANGUSNAKE IN HALF HOLY FUCK
He made Orangusnake officiate the wedding as punishment lol
Why are they,,,stepping on the watermelons?? Damn right Badgerclops I'd cry over that too
"What's, uh, your credit score like?" "850. Why, is that good?" "It's perfect..." HE WANTS TO MARRY MAO MAO NOW ASDFHKL
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control [jeremy h. x squipped!reader] pt.3
did you know that tumblr no longer has those lil.. lines that i liked to separate my notes from my fic with? i didnt. until now. unbelievable.
SO NOW I HAVE TO SUPPLY MY OWN and hopefully this is fine
anyway. ive been... dead for a while. summer destroyed all motivation to do Anything, but ive been forcing myself to write on and off and this part feels... shorter than it should be, but
anyway! i am alive! i have plans! i have things to write! some of them are never going to be on this blog bc theyre original works, but im always open to talk abt them skdfhdsfh
warnings: uhhhhhhh vague manipulation, and i think thats it? just general. squip. yea.
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         The last time you had seen Michael Mell as a friend had been the beginning of sophomore year. He and Jeremy sat on either side of you in his basement, clutching controllers and halfheartedly playing video games. Soda went untouched and unopened, snacks left alone, and too many times had Jeremy lost on games he knew like the back of his hand. The air had been stiff and uncomfortable, and the feeling had seeped into your nerves and bones to make your stomach turn at the thought of staying longer. Jeremy wasn’t quite there, and Michael was trying too hard to be extra present to make up for it. He became doting on the two of you - quick to refill a snack bowl that had barely been touched with Jeremy following him out of the basement. That was when you found your phone and called your parents, asking if they could come pick you up - bullshitting some excuse about how you felt sick. When Michael came down, he saw you packing up your things with a half-assed apology and a shitty acting job before you tore up the stairs and nearly rammed into Jeremy in the process. Your chest had tightened as you pushed past him with a quick apology and went to wait on the front steps outside for your mom to come get you.
          That had been the beginning of the end. After that day, Jeremy had slowly stopped talking to you almost completely. Michael had tried to patch things up, to keep things going, and then he just stopped abruptly. To make things worse, you had broken down at school a few weeks after everything went silent, because you’d been alone. You wiped at your face roughly with the sleeve of your hoodie, and left the bathroom. Barely seconds after you had turned the corner to head to class, you ran straight into him - headphones on and head down - only for his gaze to find yours the moment you stumbled back. He opened his mouth to speak, and you stumbled through a rough, shitty apology before you pushed past him and onward to your class. And then you avoided him purposefully, not wanting to address that little moment of weakness you had.
          And now you were sitting in front of him, eyes red and tears streaming down your cheeks as you struggled to find your voice. Your back pressed into cold metal, the lockers clanging behind you as you pulled away and tried to say something, anything to explain yourself. But Michael just stared at you, uncertain about what to say to you. Your legs were like stone, almost as if something was keeping you from darting away, from finding a safer place to land and cry and get over the tears forced from your body.
          “[y/n]?” Michael finally said, still staring at you. The lights overhead gleamed off his glasses and headphones as he pulled them down and around his neck, music loud enough for you to hear. He gave you a quick once-over, his attention now fully on you. “You okay?”
          You went to nod only for another sob to overtake you instead. “I don’t know why I’m crying,” you admitted after a moment, voice shaking and broken. And it was sort-of true.
          “Are you sure?” He said, “hey, I, uh, I know I sorta stopped talking to you and that was kinda shitty but... I’m still here if you need someone to talk to, alright?” After a moment, he tacked on another thought, “do you need a ride home?”
         Immediately, you didn’t want to say yes. It didn’t feel right to. But you’re already nodding before you can debate anything further. “Yeah,” you said slowly at first, reaching up and wiping at your eyes. Realization hit you quick. Your bag. “Shit.”
         “What’s wrong?”
         “I, uh, kinda left my bag in the auditorium.” You hesitated to step away - you didn’t really want to go back and make an excuse to leave, to let anyone see you with puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. “Michael... can you-”
         “On it,” he gave you a small, two-finger salute, “I’ll be back in a sec!”
         As Michael took off down the hallway, you felt a pit develop in your stomach while he disappeared around the corner. Nothing felt right. You looked around for a moment, acutely aware of how silent everything had gone. When your SQUIP materialized in front of you, you avoided its gaze as you wrapped your arms tighter around yourself for a moment. The world felt a little colder, a little dimmer, and everything was off. The sound of Michael’s approaching footsteps minutes later played the steady beat for your incoming guilt-induced breakdown, and yet the boy smiled at you - as if nothing was wrong. Maybe that was because it looked like nothing was wrong. The strap of your bag was tossed over his shoulder, bouncing against his own backpack, and yet he looked at you like you were still friends.
        “Thanks,” you finally said as you reached for your bag.
        Michael stepped back, “I’ve got it,” he said with a smile, “don’t worry.”
       You let your arm fall back to your side, only to then shove your hands into your pockets. “Thanks,” you said, avoiding eye contact for a moment.
       The walk to Michael’s car was mostly quiet, with concerned glances thrown your way every now and then - that, when you caught then, were met with insecure smiles at the situation he’d been pulled into. Which.... frankly, threw you off a bit. Michael had always been the one who was better with all this feelings shit - you and Jeremy had the unhealthy habit of bottling everything up. And now Michael walked in step with you, still warm as ever - and still wearing that damn red hoodie you swore he showered in, but it still made you smile because of course Michael still took good care of it. When you hesitated for half a step upon seeing his P.T. Cruiser, he looked back at you before you shot him an uneasy smile and continued towards the passenger side. One of his moms must have given it to him - whether for his birthday or as a gift for passing his driver’s test, you weren’t sure. But the seats were still well-worn, a Pac-Man sticker stuck on the head-rest of the driver’s seat that Michael had stuck there when bored out of his mind. It was worn with age, like you’d expect it to be, but you suppressed a small smile at the fact it was still there.
      If the walk to Michael’s car had been quiet (with the occasional snippit of Michael saying something about how he still feels bad about what happened between the three of you, or about how he’s kinda sorry about the walk to the back of the parking lot) then the ride to your house was dead silent. Music flooded through the car speakers, Michael’s phone resting in your lap due to him pushing it in your direction and telling you to play whatever you want, and his attention was fully on the road - the sound of his phone’s GPS spitting out directions every so often to guide him. You watched out the window, a small sense of dread resting in your stomach the entire way, and for some reason... you felt sick.
      When the car started to roll to a stop, Michael reached up and turned the music down. “Hey, uh, you still have my number, right?”
      You blinked at him for a moment, before pulling out your phone. “I, uh, think so?” You opened your contacts, flipping through them, “I don’t think I deleted it or anything-”
      “Good,” he smiled at you, “if you ever wanna hang out, I’m, uh, pretty free since Jeremy’s busy with this whole.. play... thing.” He paused for a moment, only to follow it up quickly with “I mean if you aren’t doing anything, since - I dunno, you aren’t apart of the cast so-”
      “Okay,” you cut him off, “yeah, sure - I’m only painting the set for it, so... I’ll probably try to do that during lunch.”
      “I, uh,” he began, nodding towards your jacket, “I like your pin. Have you ever played the old shit?” When you shook your head, he was filled with excitement. “Dude. You have to come over then. I’ve got the classic Zelda stuff if you wanna play.”
      Running a hand through your hair, you just sort-of nodded in response as you opened the car door, swinging your bag over your shoulder. “Thanks for the ride, Michael.”
      You closed the car door, taking a few steps back as he pulled off and drove away, before you turned and head up to your house - pausing to notice your parent’s cars were missing. Right. Letting your bag fall down to your elbow, you began to fish through it to find your keys tucked away in the bottom of your bag, and you nearly sent the contents of your bag spilling when you went to pull it back to your shoulder. But with lightning reflexes that weren’t your own, you managed to snap into action and pull it shut before anything could spill - and when you looked up, your SQUIP was standing before you.
      Huh. “... Thank you?” You zipped your bag back up, letting yourself into your house.
      “You should stick to hanging out with Michael,” your SQUIP said, watching you head into your bedroom
      Dropping your backpack onto your bed, you shrugged at the idea as you began to search for your homework. “I mean, sure, he’s still a cool guy-”
      “Michael is close to Jeremy,” it said, as if the fact wasn’t obvious, “therefore, if you get closer to Michael, you’ll get closer to Jeremy.”
      You stopped. “Isn’t that using Michael?”
      “You were friends with him before. It’s rekindling your friendship that just so happens to mean you’ll rekindle something with Jeremy.” It said, “you aren’t manipulating him.”
      You shook your head, setting one binder down and searching for another. “I don’t really like this,” you said, “I don’t want do hurt Michael or anything-”
      “Why would you be hurting him by being friends with him?”
      Thinking it over, you finally nod a little. “... I guess you’re right,” you looked down at the textbook in your hands. “It just feels wrong-”
      “Don’t feel, [y/n],” it stepped beside you, turning your head to meet it’s steely gaze. “Just listen. I’m here to help you.”
      Reluctantly, you nod. “... Right.”
      So you did. The next day, Rich fell into step beside you - inviting you to stop acting like a loner and to sit with him and Jake and the rest of his friends. You debated taking him up on the offer for a moment, only to spot Michael sitting alone in a corner of the cafeteria. You declined immediately, not looking back as you crossed the room to join Michael. That became your routine - sliding into a seat near Michael, talking about video games and whatnot, and occasionally letting the topic slip to Jeremy as Michael had the habit of occasionally venting about the boy.
       “I mean,” he started one day, pointing a fork in your direction, “you remember how he is. He’s just... so in love with her,” he shook his head, “and, I mean, yeah, it’s Christine, but he could, y’know... not abandon me every day.”
      You nodded, “I’m sure he’s just blinded by his crush, Michael.”
      He nodded, stabbing into his burrito bowl, “I know...” He trailed off, looking away for a moment, “I just... he’s excited about this and - and that’s great! He’s actually sort-of talking to Christine!” He smiled back at you, “every time he talks about her, he gets that stupid look on his face. He practically has heart eyes, [y/n].” He paused for half a beat, “but... y’know, I can’t blame him. He keeps talking about how she’s been helping him with his lines, and that she’s so passionate about theatre...”
      You couldn’t help but smile a little at that. From your limited interactions with Christine, she seemed to be a complete sweetheart. No wonder Jeremy liked her.
      “In time, he’ll like you more.” It nudged it’s way in between your thoughts, “as long as you do what I tell you to. I’ve got a plan-”
      Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you busied yourself with your lunch. “Sure, buddy.”
      The stern silence that responded to your tone spoke volumes. But like a knife through butter, Michael’s voice washed away the slight tension you’d begun to feel: “hey, do you still draw?”
      You perked up at the question, turning your full attention back to Michael, answering with a far-too chipper “yes!” You immediately forced yourself to calm down, “yeah, I, uh, I still do. My art’s changed a lot, though,” you kind-of smiled, “I have a, uh, pretty decent following online now. I’m just glad I get to do what I love.”
      Snagging his phone from his pocket, Michael went silent for a moment as he opened up his tumblr app. “There’s this artist that Jeremy and I discovered - they seem really fucking cool, dude, and they seem like someone you’d like-”
      And then you were met with your own artwork, tagged with your online alias, and you had to resist the urge to immediately spill that he’d found you online after you remade your account. You could feel your SQUIP’s fingers gripping your shoulder, and you bit your tongue as you nodded, giving some half-hearted answer about how they seem cool, sure, before wondering why it had stopped you from saying anything.
      You didn’t address it until later. Halfway through your homework, you looked up and pushed yourself away from your desk. “Hey.” You spoke aloud. 
      Within seconds, your SQUIP proceeded to materialize in front of you. “You’re speaking aloud-”
      “I know,” you said with a hand wave, “my parents are still out. What was up with that earlier?”
      “You shouldn’t go around saying things-”
      “But it’s Michael,” you refuted, “I trust him. Besides - wouldn’t telling him that get me closer to Jeremy?”
      It’s cold gaze made you shrink under pressure. “I have a plan. [y/n]. If you want to get Jeremy, you have to obey.”
      “What about what I want?” You forced yourself to stand your ground, staring at the figure before you, “what if I want to do things differently?”
      “You bought me for a reason.” It crossed its arms, watching you, “this is what you want, though. That’s why I’m here: to help you get what you want. And what you want is Jeremy. I’m going to help you get Jeremy, but I can’t do that if you don’t trust me, [y/n].”
      Pressing your lips together, you mustered up a weak nod. Right. “Sorry,” you finally said, “I just - I’m scared it’s not going to work.”
       “It will.” 
        When Michael invited you over the next day, you were more than happy to take him up on the offer. He began to reason it as well, Jeremy’s at play practice, before he ended up dropping the facade and admitting he still kind-of missed you and that it’d been a while since he’d kicked your ass at video games (and, fuck, the glimmer in his eyes when he said that was enough to make you agree, and you realized in that moment just how much you actually missed Michael). So he drove you to his house, letting you take complete control of the music, and then he left you in the basement to find any games you’d be interested in while he grabbed some snacks from the kitchen.
       While the two of you played, you talked idly when the situation would allow it. About anything. About everything. About trips Michael had taken with his moms, about his and Jeremy’s brand new Halloween tradition of watching horror movies - usually the shittier ones - and gorging on candy, about how your parents always seemed so busy (and almost immediately Michael offered up his house for whenever you didn’t want to be alone, and you melted a little at the offer). The entire time, the room felt too quiet, even among the conversation and the music of each game. At first, you thought it was because Jeremy was missing. Things didn’t feel right without him. But it hit you, right as you were laughing at something Michael said.
       “Hey!” Michael brightened up at his idea, “you should join us.” When you looked over, slightly confused, he continued, “the, uh, Halloween thing? You should join our marathon.” 
       You faltered for a moment, looking down at your controller. Your voice isn’t your own as you speak, saying some sort of confirmation that felt too distant for it to be you. The guilt built within you, as you pushed yourself to hide the feeling while turning your attention back to the game, back to beating Michael this round. But the thought lingered.
       You were using Michael Mell.
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dcarhcarts · 5 years
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This.....is the 1000th post on this blog, and I definitely waited until that could be true to post it, and that’s honestly? Very fitting. Seriously, you guys are a m a z i n g and I have literally never done a milestone before so I can’t tell you what it’s supposed to look like?? But we’ve somehow Miraculously (tm) managed to reach 100 followers and - anyway, this is going to be me very unprofessionally gushing about everyone because....I love you all and you’re all amazing aaaaaa. I’m??? Literally so blessed to have made friends and write with all of you. Y’all with multiple blogs, I’m only tagging once so I don’t spam your feed ok? And - as usual, this is going to get Long, because everything I do gets Long apparently. I tried to do it chronologically but IDK how well it worked oops.
THE LOVES OF MY LIFE, THE SUN IN MY EYES, MY MOON AND STARS
@ccrrupticn  / D!!!! you are?? literally the reason I made this blog?? Without you, this thing would n o t mcfreaking exist omg!! You’re such an amazing writer (seriously, you manage so many muses and you give them all such distinct voices??? witchcraft???) and also so ???ridiculously kind! I love gushing to you about our Kids and you’re honestly A Saint (tm) for dealing with all of my blog construction/life related breakdowns, my crazy crossover headcanons and crashing into your inbox rambling about musicals <3 I miss talking to you so hmu whenever you come back if you want!!
@personnages /  Lynna!! You’re like an Actual Angel. I think you were the first person!! who talked to me??  And You were So Nice and Welcoming that you literally soothed half of my fears coming into rpc like immediately?? You basically helped me figure out how diminutives work and you’re responsible for me adding at least 3 of my muses and I cannot tell you how much I love you and every time you pop onto my dash/feed/discord/etc, it just makes me happy inside <3 Definitely 100000% will follow you to every blog (if you’ll have me lmao) regardless of fandom!! i’m super excited about all of our ship/friendship roulettes and you’re just an absolute joy to talk to.
@nikolacvnas / LYDIA goodness you are a W O N D E R. Probably the best? Historically based blog I’ve ever encountered, and definitely one of my favorite parts of the Anastasia rpc!! The care and research and attention to detail that goes into your portrayals are a s t o n i s h i n g? Your Tatya is divine, your Maria is So Lovely and I Cry For Joy that you write Dima honestly. I’d been eyeing your blog for a little bit before I made my own - and I was honestly a little scared of you when we started cause you are a GODDESS and I am a potato, but then we talked??? and you’re hilarious and a ridiculously kind person and I love you? And of course, I love your dog (the cutest in the universe).
@mythostold / LESLIE~  Different blog, same story~ Man, I’ve been following you since maybe day two of this blog being active? No matter which fandom you end up in and which muse you write, you have such!! good!!! takes!!! For one, I love reading your meta posts??? Like you’re just so incredibly passionate about your muses?? And your writing style is so good aaaaaaa it’s so atmospheric. And on top of all of that - you’re??? such a sweet and incredible??? person??? And I love talking to you boo <3 
@lifeawoke  /  NAT BBYSWEET <3 <3 <3  I have told the story of how I did a victory dance when you followed me to d e a t h probably but it’s t r u e your writing is amazing and your blog is amazing and y o u are amazing! You are the Natasha to my Sonya, and literally every time you send me a musing I’m like immediate-goofy-grin-heart-eyes???? It’s honestly a crime we don’t have more threads but like you’re an absolute joy to talk to and meme with and I adore you/your portrayal of beautiful bratty Natasha even if she drives my Sonya up the wall <3 You are Definitely the Funny Mutual lololol I crack up so much talking to you <3
@valianceearned / CARP you’re an amazing person/writer and holy h e c k am I impressed by your OCs!! They’re all so well thought out and developed? Your bios are so detailed and so much love and care is put into all of your characters. And your writing is so Lovely and it’s also very aesthetically lovely like holy heck the amount of work you put into both the content and the formatting? I am agog, I am aghast!! 
@gearsandlevers / Callie!!!!! YOU ROUND ALL THE CORNERS I STRAIGHTEN THE CURVES!! love your kids so much. Your Violet is a delightfully clever and likeable kid, your Evan might have literally walked off the stage two seconds ago, and you’ve put so much thought into your cinnabon stoner Henry. Your dialogue is amazing and I love our headcanon sessions lobbing ideas back and forth with you!! 
@spareisms / HEY MAGGIE GUESS WHAT YOU’RE WORTH MELTING FOR!!  You’re like the sweetest person alive??? How are you an Actual Real Life Disney Princess?? Your Anna is so well characterized and multi layered and I love how she an be so flawed but so brave and just how human she is. I’m very excited for your Anne Shirley too!! You’re a great writer (and a super sweet person aaaa) and I love you!! 
@gcneralvaganov /  Deanna, I have just one question: How? Have we only known each other for like 2 months???? It feels like my dash would literally be incomplete without you??  You play such deeply complex and incredibly flawed muses with such a great depth of respect and humanity. I love all of our AUs (we.....probably have a dozen by now), our long fix-canon tangents, and....look the inevitable conclusion to this whole thing is that we should....basically just write Anastasia tbh???  You’re incredibly funny and kind and talented and I’m so glad I yeeted myself into your IMs that first time 2 months ago! I love you, I love your muses, (Dima and Anya love their Dumb Boyfriend), and I love writing with you! 
@ncvaflows / ALEXA YOU ABSOLUTE LEGEND YOU. You??? Unlocked Ultimate AU Mode Ro and it’s like I c a n ‘ t stop?? First off, I cannot believe we literally own the same books and like the same barbie movies. How are we not literally the same person??  (Maybe w e ’ r e Anneliese and Erika lmao). Honestly from day 1 you’ve been so welcoming and lovely and I’m so glad we crashed into each other’s IMs yelling at top volume about random ya lit/movies/aus!! I adore literally all of your OCs (is everyone a b s o l u t e l y sure they’re not canon??? hmmmmm a Mystery)???? In the words of Li Shang, “You WRITE GOOD????” Anyway you’re amazing and I love you <3
WHILE IT’S DEFINITELY MY FAULT FOR BEING AN ANXIOUS BEAN WE REALLY NEED TO TALK MORE OFTEN CAUSE I LOVE YOU
@curtainrisen / Rebekah, dude, you’re a wonder. Your muses??? So diverse, and your voices for them? Super on the nose and amazing. I love your Helene and how human she is, and I really gotta toss more of my kids at you (Super excited for Duke!!). You’re real chill to meme with and I love talking/writing with you!!
@heartlosttravelers / Tor!! I love that you stan Raoul de Chagny So Hard ( the pure cinnamon roll boy deserves it honestly) and you’re super cool and great to talk to! All your muses are a m a z i n g and I always love the read when you pop up on my dash! 
@damerusse / Marie!! You’re hella chill. Your memes???? 10000000% actually legendary. Meming with you cracks me The Heck Up. Lily is forever the puppy dealer, that is all, thank you, gnight. Ok for real though - your Lily is pretty Legendary too and you really got all that Spark and Fire right down. You’re amazing, and I love stalking your threads on my dash!  
@lionhvrted / Fortune, my buddy my pal, we really be Out Here making Jane Austen plots even m o r e rom-com. Like. How did we manage that??? We might be literally magical lmao. We don’t have a ton of stuff going on at the moment but I love our dumb pining kids and I love the justice and humanity you give to your Caroline, and Fitzy loves his (future) wife.
@guvernantka / P R U E I already love our Exasperated Big Sis / Annoying Lil Sis / LITERALLY WHO EVEN ARE YOU YOU SMELLY DUMBASS LIL BRO IN LAW dynamic. You have the Best Sense of Humor (tm) and I’m always catching you when it’s like 12 in the morning here so I’m always cracking up silently in bed trying not to wake my roommies up. 
@anastcsie / I LOVE OUR ANGRY SMOL AND DIRTY TOL YOUNG-BUT-OLD MARRIED COUPLE AND THEIR OLDEST DAUGHTER NAMED MARIA ALREADY.  I love your Anya and how feisty and fiery she is (Dima, needless to say, loves his wife) and I love how chill (and hilarious!!) you are as a person. We do have a tendency to turn into angst monsters 24/7 but honestly that’s half the fun!! 
@asundrop / Polly!!!! ok so I know we haven’t really done anything w/ Raps (yet muahaha) BUT b o y was I hella excited when I found someone willing to yell about CDrama with me??? Thank you for being the Eternally Stoic/Always Annoyed Ancient God to my Tiny Dumb Fox Princess?? I love them and I love you (you’re hella cool) so there! 
@moretreasurewithin / KAAAATE goodness it’s only been a couple of days but I’m So Comfortable talking to you already? You’re just honestly really amazingly kind and I love screaming about Anastasia with you. We gotta get more going but I love your Dima and Maria Already (tm) and I love your sense of humor (here’s to torturing Dima with ties!!) and I can’t wait to get to know you better!
@annastrxng / AAAA somehow I managed to chat with you and then?? We never got anything going and it’s definitely mostly my fault cause of that High Anxiety (and also the fact that I got Immediately Busy) but you are literally So Nice and The Most Understanding and super great to talk to!! I hope we get something going in the future!! 
@soulcrossed / ROSE we have the same name I keep forgetting this lmao BUT ANYWAY. All your muses?? Amazing. You gotta throw more of them at me. Your Sophie?? Are you Actually Diana Wynn Jones in disguise?? I love our crazy au/headcanon sessions and I love/hate that you’re The Worst Enabler and I’m inevitably going to end up with the other two Hatter sisters on this blog lmao. 
I HAVEN’T TALKED TO YOU TON YET BUT HI!!! YOU SEEM CHILL!!
@alonecour / @steeledstark / @professor-of-predators / @sclskinn / @dulcettc / @volaticoux / @frxncaise / @argelfrasterr / @i-wrote-myway / @zharptiitsa / @villainsfall / @anyaromanovarp / @agoodandloyalrussian / @aliquisinter 
AND EVERY ONE OF Y’ALL AMAZING PEOPLE OUT THERE I’M ADMIRING SILENTLY FROM AFAR EVEN NOW BECAUSE I CHICKENED OUT OF TAGGING YOU LAST MINUTE CAUSE WHAT IF YOU’RE LIKE “LMAO WHO IS THIS WEIRDO TAGGING ME??” (p.s. this is 100000% permission to slide into my IMs/like a plotting call/etc. I honestly think y’all are hella cool and probably love you already)
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softhaos · 5 years
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ONE (1) YEAR OF SOFTHAOS
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fellas, as of today – jan 14th 2019 – softhaos has turned one year old!! honestly, i never expected to last this long?? over the past year, i’ve gone through many ups and downs, made close mutuals, received so much emotional support from all kinds of people on this site and overall, i’m so thankful that i pulled my shit together and joined the community on tumblr! 
i still remember clearly when i first started out with this blog and posted the neighbor aus and got SO much support for it?? like?? i never thought it’d come this far where i could touch readers’ hearts with my word vomits?? that’s just insane. and even if you don’t read my works yet still follow me: wow, i’m so grateful that you managed to cope with my bullshit – be it from my undying hatred towards pcy and kmg, me abusing the uwuwuwu or my personal thoughts.
in other words, this is my message directed to everyone: thank you for keeping up with my bullshit uwu
now on to the part where i thank specific people for making my existence on this site more bearable,, i’ve left a message for everyone i tagged (i would’ve tagged literally everyone but i’m a stressed student i am so sorry if i forgot you kjldl and i would feel bad if i didn’t leave a note to everyone i tagged) and the list is in alphabetical order! @ anons i also left notes from you at the very bottom.
@baekberrie 💌 even though we just talked once literally two days ago thanks to my clumsy ass sending you an accidental ask, i’m so glad i actually did. pola (okay i got this from your about page im sorry kljsdl) you’re an amazing, kind and talented soul with whom i could’ve talked hours about soft bbh if it weren’t for my tiredness. i’ve only read your junmyeon oneshot so far but trust me, i’ll get to that cuddling fic with baek real soon once i’ve got more time uwu you’re honestly a talented writer and i hope we get to talk more in the future!
@baekbuns 💌 i’ve known you for how many days already you anon thot and i really can’t believe that i was vv intimidated by you at first (not gonna lie, you still scream bde but that’s another story-) hope, despite you trying to steal pretty much everyone from anyone, it’s still very fun to fight talk with you and you’re also an excellent writer uwuwuwu i am still very attacked by the thought of bartender yixing one day I WILL SUE YOU ALONG WITH PCY
@baekwell--tart 💌 bella!!!! ngl i’m still very pissed at myself for not realizing you from your old url but i’m glad i found you again!! (did i find you again? idk anymore i suffer from short term memory but i hope i got my point across sdjlkj) you’re such a warmhearted person and i’m really grateful that i got to know you. however, you’re also a funny person and that also shows in your writing - istg one day i will probably have “perpetual boredom” tattooed on my forehead don’t ask why that description of sehun will NEVER fail to make me chuckle!! you deserve all the love and happiness in the world and so much more uwu
@boosoonhao 💌 i know i keep repeating myself when it comes to you aj, but i really have no idea what else to say. i wrote it in the letter, i expressed myself way too often in the tags whenever i reblog your works, yet here i am doing it again (and maybe even more exaggerated than usual, we’ll see): aj, you are one of the most talented writers i’ve ever known and one of the greatest blessings in the community. there, i said it and i mean it! you are one of the very few i know that doesn’t shy away from fantasy-ish aus and executes them brilliantly. the way you have with your words is just fascinating and i find myself sometimes jotting down what you wrote for future references? but writing skills aside, you are a beautiful and kind person and up to this day the key chain you sent me is still intact. aj, thank you for blessing me, blessing everyone with your talent and general existence. 
@byuncaa 💌 bianca you smol soft bean you have my heart right there and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we get to talk more in the future uwu you’re such a cute soul gaaah it really makes me wanna send you all the soft memes i possibly own anywaY i hope you just stay as bubbly and bright and adorable as you are uwu
@cafechenle 💌 hani, kaito kid, i don’t know whether you’re still alive on tumblr or not but idc i’m still writing this to you anyway. you’re one of the first people i’ve met on this site and gOD i remember it as clear as day where i was so close to blocking you within the first few minutes of knowing you. yes, i’m talking about the entire mansae chan era discourse. anyway, we don’t talk as much but i hope you’re doing fine my wee lil silver boys supremacist!!
@changbeanbag 💌 landon, we literally just met yesterday but as you can see, i don’t care and i’m writing you a wee lil note anyway. you, my dude, radiate uwu energy and ngl i may have squealed when i saw your tags in the ask i sent you teehee - i hope we get to talk more in the future (that is, if school hasn’t killed me until then-)
@changbiinn 💌 kirra, you beautiful, blue haired visual goddess who has everyone else (including jisung yES I WENT THAT FAR) looking like a mere smurf and found dead in a ditch! i didn’t think i’d get an instant dm from that one inkigayo shitpost but you went ahead and proved me wrong sjljlks timezones fuck me up all the time but nonetheless i hope we get to interact a lil more and gET ENOUGH SLEEP OR ELSE
@cheolsjigyu 💌 MISS VAN NO I DID NOT FORGET YOU HEAR ME OUT. first of all, how could i forget you when you provided me all the great twt aus and the wild chats we had back in?? sometime early last year i guess. it’s been a very long time since we talked and i’m sorry i couldn’t reach out to you any time sooner due to school and the usual stuff (also, uh, i’m not the biggest friend of tumblr dms and barely check any messages there so there’s that too) believe it or not i still wheeze whenever i think of your fic swing baby because goddamnit that jyp song was one repeat for a good week. anyway, i hope you’ve been doing well and are not at the brink of near death like me uwu
@cherryxiu 💌 gran, frank, satan incarnate, whatever else i call you. you may fuck me up with the pcy i’ve never asked for but i hope you know you have a soft spot in my heart (i’ll never say that out loud again tho so see it as a one of a time thing). you’re my fav minseok stan and while i wouldn't necessarily jump off a cliff for you, i’d jump with you uwu anyway, aggressively refrain from sending me more pcy content i’m just trying to live an easy life here. but knowing you, you’ll definitely pretend as if that last part was never written so why do i even bother-
@chillihansol 💌 hanni my child!!! i hope you’re doing fine, aren’t as stressed anymore and have received the love you deserve and more!!! i still remember when i was highkey intimidated by you so i went on anon but then somehow you were startled by my lil threat and then i became your mom anon? funny that has changed over the time skldj hanni, i don’t regret ever going on anon for you and you’re an amazingly talented writer. i already said it once but i’ll say it again: guns n roses was the first svt fic i read on tumblr and just thank you for creating that piece uwu
@choco-seventeen 💌 miss choco, i almost tumbled down the nonexistent stairs in my apartment when i saw you ??? sliding into my dms ??? and then reading my word vomits ??? and then you followed me ??? and everything that followed after ??? i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me and up to today it remains a mystery to me ngl. we love a talented, kindhearted, fantastic, stunning, visual writing queen who is ofc the right person to love thanks to the avatar discourse she started!!! choco, keep on enlightening everyone’s life with your mere existence, the tags you put in your reblogs that make me smile and of course, wonderful stories <33
@custardheart 💌 taylor, i don’t think we have ever talked (unless you approached me on anon maybe then maybe yes??) but i just wanted to thank you for blessing my notifications. you’ve been supporting me / on my notifs for quite a long time - may i say you’re like one of the first followers i had when i first started out? THAT’S how long you’ve been here already and i can’t thank you enough <333 (please don’t ask me why i know that but goddamn every time i see that jeonghan profile picture i already know it’s you djklj)
@dinoshaur 💌 sha! lee! i know we barely talk to each other but i just wanted to use this opportunity to thank you for making some of my days with your astounding fics!! one of my favorite works from you will always be “flower crown prince” because you have NO idea how much i struggle with finding seungkwan fics dkkjljlk i’m sorry i didn’t submit anything for the lfw challenge i really tried to make it but you know, life problems happened whoops. i wish you all the happiness and inspiration and love from chan himself you gifted angel uwu
@forevershua 💌 dear fossil mother ryan, i can’t believe i internally pronounced your name wrongly for pretty much half a year knowing you. please forgive me. okay, but all seriousness aside, you’re one of the closest people from this site!! i really love you so so much though i can’t guarantee that i love you as much as you love jeonghan more than shua; i still shed tears whenever i pull out your two postcards - especially the minghao one; i think i suffered from mild heart palpitations when i got it in the mail (and still do). i hope we get to meet this year and possibly clown rat together and just stay the somewhat sane person left in the gc <33 p.s HOW DO YOU FUNCTION WITHOUT A FRIDGE I STILL CANT BELIEVE THAT
@gamerwoo 💌 rocket, you’re always active when it’s the ungodly hour where i live and it has happened more often that i stay awake because of you. not only do i have loads of stuff i can queue from you (teehee) you recently started posting stories again and the ones you hammered out lately just??? do things to me??? for real though do you have sadistic tendencies or somethin because you posted TWO (2) nsfw stories that I indulged at 2 AM IN THE MORNING. aside from that minghao and junmyeon stuff, uuuh, i finally got around to finish your ghoul au which i completely adore!! i’m looking forward to your upcoming works uwu and hope you get all the positivity and good vibes only uwu (p.s i have to confess: my dumb ass seriously thought the “woo” in your url referred to jungwoo and for some good weeks i thought you ult jungwoo rIP ME)
@hearttoshu 💌 jess, i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me because i’m gonna be honest here, i was scared of you skaljdlkjslkj please i don’t even know why, you seemed very intimidating but i was proven wrong in an instant!! you are one super soft bean with hq gifs and a love for jun and shua that reaches up to infinity and beyond!! your tags always get the best out of me and i’m really grateful for having you in my life uwuwuwuwu 
 @jejublr 💌 ew rat, you’re finally adulting. jokes aside, you were the first victim to fall under my disastrous typo errors and may i say that i’m just simply ICONIC for forever slapping that legendary nickname on you uwu nat who?? we only know RAT. you’re the one person i can always run to when more serious issues are bugging me since i guess you can relate the most to my personal dilemmas and i just wanted to thank you for being there for me <33 that, and for keeping gran somewhat at bay. i hope we get to meet up this summer where i’ll feed you with lots of chocolate while teasing ryan about her biasing jeonghan LMAO and just like most people from the gc, you’re one of the first close mutuals i’ve made. in a way, you could say you’ve been with me here since day 1 (almost) xx
@jin-hua 💌 mayo / mango / mayo that tastes like mangoes / idk i bet i have misspelled your names approximately 993828 times in 937987 different variations but guess what? i still love u to death uwu i love me a fitness queen, a visual goddess not even god himself could ever and i’m so so glad that you exist in my life <333 i know i promised you a crackhead message but when i think about it there’s not really a lot to say that’s out of place when it comes to you?? you’re an angel uwuwu the light of my life frank could NEVER
@justsomekpopstuff 💌 jj it is i, your #1 supporter!! since you’re also part of the nug club gc from the beginning on, you have an extra special place in my heart <3 jj, i love how supportive you are and i don’t think you realize that i cherish you to the moon and back and that times 903809. i love how you get so fired up about your hockey team and like to gush and suffer from the wrath of Joshua hong and i hope you’ll stay eternally happy uwu that, and dRINK LESS COFFEE ISTG
@lxveille 💌 veille we’ve never interacted a lot but i just wanted to let you know that i admire you a LOT. i haven’t got around to read more of your works lately, but i do have a favorite fic that i still clearly remember. okay, that’s a lie, i have several that left a strong memory. but let’s say, if i had to reduce it to one fic, it’d be the 100wtsily dystopian au with jihoon and 66 & 70! you’re one of the very few writers who hit the dystopian genre spot on and you truly are an inspiration. seriously, thank you a lot veile xx
@middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich 💌 LOOK, i didn’t even know you changed blogs or something and i’m so eternally sorry that it took me ages to figure that out! (RIP me) you’re one of the first followers i had if i recall correctly (i’m pretty positive of that) and i just wanted to thank you for sticking with me so long uwuwuuwwu i wish you all the happiness bb <3
@multi-yeol 💌 haaaa we’ve only known each other since a day or something but i’m really glad we did!!!! honestly, that Loona song sorter is harder than any of the german exams i had and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we’ll talk more in the future bub!!!
@oatmealupdates 💌 lynna, you too are one of the first followers on my blog i’m wheEZING you’ve been here for so long sdlkjlkj thank you for your support and your comments under the fics always make my day i swear!! i’ve also noticed that you haven’t been that active as you used to be (maybe it’s just me idk sometimes my dash is kinda wacky) but all in all i hope you’re doing good!! if you ever need to talk to someone, you can always hmu <33
@queerjunhui 💌 vane, ngl, you really scared me at first. i was really intimidated by your for reasons i can’t even explain and i always thought you were out of my league sdkljlk i think we started talking since the cyzj thing and you’re one of the funniest and nicest people i’ve met so far on tumblr, seriously! your content - be it from your shitposts to mindless thoughts like the entire indirects to j*** * yES I STILL RECALL THEM - you always manage to make my day brighter whenever i see you on my dash. i wish you all the happiness and hope you’re doing good uwu
@seungcheolsbodyharness 💌 katey, sis i still think about that criminal seokmin and the entire au we made up - from FBI agent cheol to incompetent intern vernon and all that jazz. besides the fact that your url is a pure 10/10 as well as your other URLs, you’re such a nice person and i really enjoy your presence - be it in the form of reblogs of any kind of thing to the comments you occasionally leave and don’t get me started on the aSKS; katey, i’m so glad to have met you on this site!!! uwu
@softwonwoo 💌 jian darling!! honestly, i have no idea how you even know of my existence. just like pretty much everyone else i’ve tagged here you kinda had that intimidating aura?? but then the more i talked to you somehow, the more i was proven wrong and you’re such a sweet pea i can’t- also, i’m glad that i found someone who can agree with me when it comes to chungha dsakjlskj pls stay healthy, stay happy jian!!
@swyllh 💌 sara, i don’t think we have ever had a proper conversation, but i just wanted to give you my appreciation. you are one of the most underrated writers within the community yet you always give your best when it comes to your writing and honestly, i really admire you. i haven’t found the time to read your interactive fic yet (i keep pushing that back i am so sorry but i’ll get to that one day) and one of the fics that i absolutely adore is that one end of the world fic with chan, as well as the vernon collab with sha!! i really hope you’ll get the recognition and love you deserve you gifted writer !!
@tonicandjins 💌 faye my snowflake, i haven’t seen you around lately but if you read this, i hope everything’s alright from your side! i’m quite sure i’ve already mentioned this to you but i’ll say it again. i will NEVER shut up about one and two small petals and will NEVER recover from it. another banger is that wonwoo fic with the printer- ugh, you’re such a talented, beautiful person and i truly wish you all the best. remember, don’t stress yourself and relax once in a while uwu
@yeolsmiling 💌 angie hi!! i legit only sent you one (1) ask so i really don’t have much to say so far unless i wanna repeat myself lMAO one day, i aspire to purely emit soft energy for yeol but i doubt that day will ever come. i hope we get to talk more in the future you soft bear <33
honeybunch anon 💌 honeybunch, i hope you’re doing well! i still remember that i called you that when you slipped into my asks and gushed about that one mingyu fic up to this day i’m still flattered and eternally grateful that you’re still here uwu thank you for your support and making my day <33
fromis anon 💌 idk if you’ll ever read this but i miss you uwu i hope you’re doing fine and just a quick update from my side: i still haven’t found a bias yet uGH 
sugarpie / tulip anon 💌 you seem like such a cool person i’m really glad you stopped by in my inbox thank you for hitting me up uwu since i have no clue who you are and since i’m a dumbass, i’m can only rely on you messaging me jslkdj
none of the letters are proofread i am so sorry
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captaindboss · 6 years
Text
captaindboss’ Hottest NHL Players Survey Responses
I’m demonkonecny bc it’s halloween!!! Happy Halloween!!! Anyway I’m finally posting the results of my hottest players per team survey, (it’s closed now so u can’t take it anymore, sorry) which included ur fav ugly hots like jack eichel and connor mcdavid. Y’all had some colorful write-in responses for me, I included my favorites! Anyway, as not to clog dashes I put it under a read more. If you have questions about how I compiled this data or how I organized it, feel free to ask! Also some of y’all didn’t put an answer for like half the teams???? who raised you.
Montreal Canadians
Carey Price (55.02%--126 of 229 votes)
Jonathan Drouin (23.58%--54 of 229 votes)
Shea Weber (13.10%--30 of 229 votes)
Other* (8.30%--19 of 229 votes)
*= Inconclusive results.
Write-ins
“PK Subban...oh wait...Lars Eller... Oh wait...Drouin...oh wait...Alex Galchenyuk...oh wait shit fine Shea Weber”
“Everyone who has escaped”
“their ‘attitude problem’“
Boston Bruins
Brandon Carlo (30.26%--69(lol) of 228 votes)
Patrice Bergeron (Cause y’all would kill me if I didn’t put him) (29.82%--68 of 228 votes)
David Pastrnak (yum i lov carb) (25.88%--59 of 228 votes)
Other* (14.04%--32 of 228 votes)
*= Inconclusive results.
Write-ins
[About Carlo] “He’s  a baby but also like has an ageless vampire quality which appeals to my ovaries, long conditioned by teen vampire novels”
“Brad Marchand's tongue (only the tongue)” [this ain’t it chief]
“I love my alien father tuukka rask” [r u ok]
Bonus, cause I’m weak:
“no one THINKS pasta is hot COME ON i hate us” [it’s okay, he is VERY hot, that’s why I put him lmao]
“Zdeno chara babey” [R U OK]
Bl*ckh*wks
Girl as if (44.80%--99 of 221 votes) 
Jonathan Toews (22.62%--50 of 221 votes)
If you put pk*ne here i’ll come to your house and murder you*^/other (17.65%--39 of 221 votes)
hahahahaHAHAHA (14.93%--33 of 221 votes)
*= tie between Nick Schmaltz and John Hayden.
^= 3 people want me to come to their houses and murder them, unfortunately it’s still illegal to do so, therefore I will not be doing that.
Write-ins
“toews player portrait makes him look like a human condom”
“i live in chicago and am willing to take 1 for the team and take out k*ne” 
“Bitch you funny but also Alex Debrincat”
New York Rangers
Brady Skjei (46.32%--107 of 231 votes)
Henrik Lundqvist duh (31.17%--72 of 231 votes)
Brett Howden is the right answer despite not being on the roster yet^ (11.69% (lol)--27 of 231 votes)
Other* (10.82%--25 of 231 votes)
*= Inconclusive results.
^= funny enough, like 2 days after I made this Brett made the final cut lmao.
Write-ins
“Chris Kreider (have you seen the golf pic???) [LMFAO yeah I have (it’s probably too NSFW if ur in public fyi if u wanna google it)]
“i'm horny for like half the gd rangers roster!!!!” [lol girl I know, y’all actually have a few cuties I was a lil shocked]
“this is a hot team too bad they suck”
Toronto Maple Leafs
Y’all are demons okay Nikita Zaitsev is a fuckin gem idk why I was surprised about this but I was lmao.
Other* (39.37%--87 of 221 votes) [just know that I hate u all :/]
William Nylander (25.79%--57 of 221 votes)
Nazem Kadri (24.89%--55 of 221 votes)
Nikita Zaitsev (9.95%--22 of 221 votes)
*= Freddie Andersen. 
Write-ins
“william nylander isn't a leaf, firstable, and second it's motch murner” [sjdhkdlsjdj everything about this]
“i'm putting rich clune even tho he's on the marlies. SOMETIMES HE COMES UP. he could benchpress ever leaf on the roster.” [ur valid, when u sent this I was like “FUCK they’re right.”]
“None they look like 25 year olds who smoke crack in the parking lot” [this is low-key mean but I still laughed, cause yeah, white dudes. But I’m not condoning drug abuse or jokes about drug abuse, as this person had no intention of doing, I’m sure. Just wanted to put that because I know some people might be concerned.]
Bonus, again, weak:
"Jxhn Txvxrxs” [jhkhfoij why did u censor his name sis??]
“nobody’s attractive on the leafs” [this isn’t true but I’m petty and it’s funny.]
Detroit Red Wings
I was so fucking offended by some of the dylan larkin SLANDER up in these write-ins, y’all can come to my house and fight me thx.
Dylan Larkin (48.23%--109 of 226 votes)
Henrik Zetterberg (im crying) (31.42%--71(CRYING) of 226 votes)
Other* (11.95%--27 of 226 votes)
Andreas Athanasiou (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)
*= 12 votes for “No one/Not Dylan Larkin” (yall r annoying lmfao), 10 votes for Filip Zadina (he’s a CHILD how dare u)
Write-Ins
“Luke glen denting is hot look at his arms and he’s not too old for ME” [girl when I tell u this shit killed me, I mean I SQUAWKED a laugh out and sent it to the fps gc, I was DEAD] 
“I don't know what any of the red wings look like and it's probably better that way” [????????????????]
“ion know anyone on the wings except zadina and he scored a gwg against the bruins yesterday so my answer for this one is none 😤😤” [(this was in reference to a pre-season game) lmao sis yall are okay. it was yalls babies against our roster players, I would have offed myself had the outcome been any different lmao]
Bonus
“Does anyone actually play for the red wings” [no]
“filip "thot" zadina” [don’t....]
Los Angeles Kings
The only right answer is Alec Martinez (41.56%--96 of 231 votes)
Adrian Kempe (38.10%--88 of 231 votes)
Anze Kopitar (12.12%--28 of 231 votes)
Other* (8.23%--19 of 231 votes)
*= Inconclusive results.
Write-ins
“jeff carter would snort a line of coke with gritty” [uhhhhh WHAT]
“uhh wayne gretzky...” [jvfluhddsf sis...]
“I couldn't name anyone on this team if you PAID ME” [fjldfdhfh god I wish that were me, sorry annie u know I joke....]
Philadelphia Flyers
Claude Giroux (44.78%--103 of 230 votes)
Travis Konecny (HAHAHAHAHA that’s my ugly hot gremlin) (24.78%--57 of 230 votes
Other* (22.17%--51 of 230 votes
Wayne Simmonds (8.26%--19 of 230 votes)
*= Nolan Patrick is apparently who y’all think is the 3rd hottest flyer, even tho he Looks Like That rn lmao. fuckin’ lettuce head.
Write-ins
“Gritty's googly eyes are the windows to the soul”
“andrea helfrich” [ur right]
“tk, because country boy i LOVE you 😛”
Bonus
“hey don't make threats abt gritty like that” [I put “if you put gritty i’ll block you”]
“My hellspawn son [Gritty,] is beautiful can’t believe Voracek and G had a son tho” [HDKUHEDKJFHD BITCH]
Pittsburgh Penguins :(
Kris Letang (55.17%--128 of 232 votes)
Other* (19.40%--45 of 232 votes)
Not Sidney Crosby [this is the option for Sidney Crosby] (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)
Tristan Jarry (8.62%--20 of 232 votes
*= different variations of “none” won but only by one vote, the person right behind was Jamie Oleksiak.
Write-ins
“the penguins roster came into my home and killed my entire family, but jamie oleksiak is 6'7" 255 lbs of A Man” [NDKFHSJRFDRBSKRFH valid]
“no penguin has ever been hot. As soon as they put on the jersey the hotness evaporates. Tragic.” [wow look at all that truth right there]
“as a heterosexual i chose letang, and as a flyers fan i choose the penguin mascot” [lmao girl letang is not the answer either]
St. Louis Blues
Colton Parayko (67.11%--151 of 225 votes)
Alex Pietrangelo (17.33%--39 of 225 votes)
Other* (8%--18 of 225 votes)
Ryan O’Reilly (7.56%--17 of 225 votes)
*= Inconclusive results.
Write-ins
“this [’other’] box shouldn’t exist there are no valid arguments against the angel colton parayko” [tru, but the blues have other hotties so I made the box to be fair to those of us who don’t like Big Blonde Sexies]
“uh valid i guess? idk any of the blues lmao” [LMAOOO I think they meant Vladdy, but “valid” cracked me up]
“ROR can lay me down” [ur so valid lmao]
Buffalo Sabres
Jeff Skinner (60.18%--136 of 226 votes)
Rasmus Ristolainen (17.26%--39 of 226 votes)
Other* (14.16%--32 of 226 votes)
Jack Eichel (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)
*= Inconclusive results. [Y’all big mad that I put Skinner on here. HE’S HOT!]
Write-ins
“Idk but not these lmao” [*instert that gif of the kardashians like “DON’T BE FUCKING RUDE”*]
“Why is Jeff Skinner an option he looks 12″ [who else tho sis. I looked at the roster!]
“If anyone says eichel i will come to their house and steal their toothbrushes. Its conor sheary.” [I took my own survey and picked Eichs but I still have my toothbrush so I guess......... I’m right.]
Bonus:
“Rasmus Ristolainen kinda looks like a creepy half-alive Ken doll, but I'll stand by my choice. Hire an exorcist.” [JDFKHRFWEH GIRL]
“They lost their only cute player when O’Reilly got traded sorry” [boom. roasted]
Vancouver Canucks
Brock Boeser (67.56%--152 of 225 votes)
Other* (13.78%--31 of 225 votes)
Jake Virtanen (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)
Ben Hutton (6.22%--14 of 225 votes)
*=Inconclusive results.
Write-ins
“[about Jake Virtanen] all that ass...........” [sjdkfhdkfhdkhfi yeah]
“the city of vancouver” [?????????????????????]
“I keep forgetting that the canucks actually exist” [I’m reasonably sure this is annie lmfao]
Bonus
“I don’t know how any of this team looks either” [idk if I follow Nucks blogs or what but how do u not know Boeser???]
“i don't care enough about this team to even attempt to answer” [this is my brain @ me on the last 5 questions of an exam]
New York Islanders
Mat Barzal (67.69%--155 of 229 votes)
Tito Beauvillier (14.85%--34 of 229 votes)
Jordan Eberle (10.48%--24 of 229 votes)
Other* (6.99%--16 of 229 votes)
*=Inconclusive results.
Write-ins
“you say put full names but then u go and say tito??” [LISTEN I was tired at this point and forgot that I was trying to be at least a little bit professional about my thirst survey alright? yeesh]
“Its Matt Martin my dude” [LMAO u funny]
“idk how anyone pays attention to mat when tito is always there looking better barzal looks like every attractive jock ive ever met and i dont trust that”
Calgary Flames
Noah Hanifin (37.95%--85 of 224 votes)
Elias Lindholm (32.59%--73 of 224 votes)
Matthew Tkachuk (20.54%--46 of 224 votes)
Other* (8.93%--20 of 224 votes)
*= Sean Monahan wins 4th hottest.
Write-ins
“[Hanifin] looks like the bad guy in a teen movie. the guy the Main Girl is dating in the beginning but is a real dick to her. you look at him and you KNOW he has a trust fund and votes republican. god he's so hot though” [hanny......... yeah.... yeah....]
“Why do I find Tkachuk attractive? I don't know but I love him” [me too]
“James 'The Real Deal' Neal” [lol I got this answer multiple times]
Washington Capitals
Tom Wilson (31.33%--73 of 233 votes)
Andre Burakovsky (29.18--68 of 233 votes)
Braden Holtby (24.03%--56 of 233 votes)
Other* (15.45%--36 of 233 votes)
*= Michal Kempny and Nicklas Backstrom tied for fourth hottest.
Write-ins
“literally no one, i s2g if i see anyone say ovi is attractive..... jfc god help them” [.... but ovi is dad-hot, also he got 3 votes]
“YOUR STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS! Everyone btw just a hot team of hot ugly men and Tom Wilson” [kskdjskdjksks]
“my sweaty swedish sweetheart; Nicklas Backstrom” [I’m too illiterate to read this right the first time thru lol]
Colorado Avalanche
Gabe Landeskog ( 55.95%--127 of 227 votes)
Other* (22.47%--51 of 227 votes)
Erik “Horsegirl” Johnson (14.1%--32 of 227 votes)
Mikko Rantanen (7.49%--17 of 227 votes)
*= Tyson Barrie won by more than double of all the other write-ins, but honorable mentions go to Nate MacK, Colin Wilson, Tyson Jost, Phillip Grubauer, and The Avs Tumblr People.
Write-ins - I (jokingly) got called bitch so much in these write-ins, y’all feel some type of WAY about this team lmfao.
“but also the tysons. i would buy a whole farm just so those boys could plow me into the ground.” [i’m SCREECHING. this killed me lol]
“only attractive b/c of his proximity to horses? maybe so.” [.... girl what]
Okay, so instead of a third quote, cause I couldn’t pick, I’m gonna put all the other funny EJ comments I was contemplating:
“ej is soooo ugly in the hottest way possible”
“erik "big horny" johnson”
“oh my god Ej was included for once I'm weeping tears of joy”
“What that mouth do EJ?”
New Jersey Devils
Miles Wood (36.12%--82 of 227 votes)
Taylor Hall (33.48%--76 of 227 votes)
Brian Boyle (19.82%--45 of 227 votes)
Other* (10.57%--24 of 227 votes)
*= Nico Hischier with the majority of the write-ins, even tho he’s still a CHILD (under 20).
Write-ins, aka Mostly Taylor Hall Commentary.
“Does Michael McLeod count” [YES girl i love that boy]
“Gucciiiiiii”
“DSL GUCCI”
“Nico Hischier (Taylor Hall I still love you)”
“i chose taylor and i don’t even need a gucci purse”
“If Taylor Hall gave me a Gucci purse I'd vote for him”
“catch me w/ a gucci purse, girl!!!! for real tho miles wood”
Dallas Stars
DISCLAIMER: I mean no disrespect to Katie, she’s fab and I made this survey a month or so ago. If you don’t know what I mean by this--do not ask me, I will delete the message. Thank you!
Tyler Seguin (46.96%--108 of 230 votes)
Katie Hoaldridge (im gay) (35.22%--81 of 230 votes)
Other* (13.91%--32 of 230 votes)
Stephen Johns (3.91%--9 of 230 votes)
*= Jamie Benn.
Write-ins
“tyler seguin has no upper lip” [I screamed, not exaggerating]
“You have to choose [Seguin] but I do so under duress”
“Im gay too” [hell yeah, this is a mlm and wlw friendly survey!]
Edmonton Oilers
Jujhar Khaira (28.57%--64 of 224 votes)
Other* (27.68%--62 of 224 votes)
Contract McMoney (he is hot) (25.89%--58 of 224 votes)
Darnell Nurse (17.86%--40 of 224 votes)
*= Leon Draisaitl won by more than 5 times anyone elses write-in lmao.
Write-ins ft. “The Draisaitl Quotes”
“McMoney’s money- just his money” [lmao ok sammie, HE’S HOT!]
“cannot mcwingames went off in the gq shoot i admit” [*annie voice* OHMYGOD]
“He’s [Khaira] like a romance novel cover like, f me” [tru]
Drai Quotes
“Drai but like lucic cause Momma needs a man that could kill me” [HDGFDHDGFHDH]
“leon dreisetl (is that his name, is this how you spell it?)”
“Leon Draisaitl and his contract that he doesn't deserve” [backhanded compliment lmao]
“the one w the longass name. dry saitl or whatever” [girl. lmfao]
Winnipeg Jets
Jets/laine fans are funny so I’m adding all the funniest ones instead of just 3 or 5. Sorryyyyyy I’m here to entertain.
Blake Wheeler (44.04%--96 of 218 votes)
Mathieu Perreault (but specifically in his newest headshot) (21.56%--47 of 218 votes)
Other* (19.27%--42 of 218 votes)
Connor Hellebuyck (15.14%--33 of 218 votes)
*= Patrik Laine, even tho I said NOT TO, demons.
Write-ins
“Their logo so I can fly away from this stupid team”
“Nobody but I just needed to point out Connor Hellebuyck looks like a stage magician and that is Not Hot” [i respectfully disagree with the last bit but the first parts made me snort]
“I don't know who windy pegg is”
“Boeing 747″ [sjdjsljlshgdu]
“they’re all second to jacob trouba’s dog Donnie”
“Patty Laine, but like, without the demon beard”
“Let me live my life! Laine has a good voice and i have a LANGUAGE KINK!”
“Laine WITH the beard because I don't fear death”
“Sorry, Laine but only with his beard” [I love the halfhearted apology]
“Goatboi”
“ALL HAIL THE GOAT DEVIL”
“laine come at me bitch lol” [denny’s parking lot. 3 am. be there.]
“laine looks like a goat”
“Laine’s Beard”
“LAINE I like the beard but hockey Satan is good to hellebuyck” [I really felt like I was tripping balls while reading all these but, ESPECIALLY this one lmfao]
Arizona Coyotes
Oliver Ekman-Larsson (30.32%--67 of 221 votes)
Jakob Chychrun (28.05%--62 of 221 votes)
Dylan Strome (26.24%--58 of 221 votes)
Other* (15.38%--34 of 221 votes)
*= Alex Galchenyuk, with the majority of the votes.
Write-ins
“pls date me Chych” [annie, that’s my BF!]
“ 🐼 there is no raccoon emoji >:(”
“[Chychrun] [a]lso has a vampire quality but like trust fund baby vampire who has no morals. I’m...into it??” 
Honorable mentions: The 2 people who put Biz lmaoooo I love yall.
Carolina Hurricanes
Andrei Svechnikov [he’s a baby but I didn’t know who elseeee] (38.29%--85 of 222 votes)
Haydn Fleury (35.59%--79 of 222 votes)
Other* (15.77%--35 of 222 votes)
Dougie Hamilton (10.36%--23 of 222 votes)
*= Sebastian Aho wins the write-in vote [he ain’t it!]
Write-ins
“Justin Faulk (I’m old so svechnikov is out)” [ugh ur right I didn’t make this more inclusive to people not my age, i’m (genuinely) sorry!!!]
“Formerly Eric ‘the hottest Staal' Staal” [only on the cane’s write-in would I have this happen...]
“[Jordan] staal terrifies me but that's hot” [true!]
San Jose Sharks
Erik Karlsson (70.04%--159 of 227 votes)
Martin Jones (17.62%-- 40 of 227 votes)
Other* (11.01%--25 of 227 votes)
Justin Braun (idk) (1.32%--3 of 227 votes)
*= Inconclusive results.
Write-ins
“Daddy shark (doo doo doo)” [just so yall know this is, of course, annie, as in anzekopistar, an actual demon, she’s talking about Erik Karlsson :)]
“Brent Burns, you know im right” [are you tho?]
“Okay sometimes I have needs I think Joe Thorton sans beard could fill” [this is why joe shaved. he felt this person in the universe wanting him to, so he did, wow thank u joe]
Ottawa Senators (lol)
Matt Duchene (33.63%--75 of 223 votes)
The entire team (cause they’re a dumpster fire) (30.94%-- 69 [it’s that tkachuk fuckboi energy] of 223 votes)
Other (there are none)* (22.87%--51 of 223 votes)
Spartacat (12.56%--28 of 223 votes)
*= Inconclusive results (because a lot of you took my “there are none” joke a little too seriously and just chose that, no write-in lmao)
Write-ins
“[about Duchene] he's traitorous but it's like that sometimes i guess” [sjdhdjfhkdhf girl it’s okay.]
“.... we're a team“ [i-]
“the senator on their jerseys is p cute ig”
Bonus:
“oh so spartacat is an option but not gritty huh” [LISTEN the flyers are a HOT team, the sens are NOT. that’s why lmao]
“Just based on headshots I’m going with Ben Sexton like also how do you go wrong with that name”
Tampa Bay Lightning
Brayden Point (55.25%--121 of 219 votes)
Other* (22.83%--50 of 219 votes)
Mitchell Stephens (11.87%--26 of 219 votes)
Steve Yzerman (10.05%--22 of 219 votes)
*= Inconclusive results. Although there were a lot of responses none of them added up significantly sooo....
 Write-ins
“am i the only one who thinks stevie y was a bit of a twink when he was younger?” [jdhslihdalskdjefh]
“Worst team in the league i hate them and theyre all hideous” [u sure bout that, bud?]
“Stamkos (I love his tiny eyes)” [????]
Florida Panthers
 Aaron Ekblad (71.75%--160 of 223 votes)
Aleksander Barkov [r yall ok???] (11.66%--26 of 223 votes)
Other* (10.31%--23 of 223 votes)
Vincent Trocheck (6.28%--14 of 223 votes)
*= Inconclusive results.
Write-ins
“who are the panthers” [sometimes a team is a dog captain, a(n extremely hot) 27-year-old lawyer, and not owen tippett because the panthers hate me specifically]
“Roberto Luongo during Parkland speech” [... valid]
“barkov is literally the only player i know on this team” [shey would be happy to teach u about the panthers!]
Anaheim Ducks
Adam Henrique (52.47%--117 of 223 votes)
No one else (29.6%--66 of 223 votes)
Other* (10.76%--24 of 223 votes)
John Gibson (7.17%--16 of 223 votes)
*=Inconclusive results.
Write-ins-Ducks fans don’t @ me but i’m pretty sure half of these were submitted by y’all anyways....
“if i look @ anyone on the ducks roster for more than 5 seconds i BLACK OUT” [KSHDGJDHSKH Adam tho....]
“Quack Quack go lay your eggs somewhere else you feathered FUCKS” [sjdjfhdjsksj]
“legal 2 say kesler?” [no. go to jail]
Bonus
“Henrique is fine I have no qualms about your selections” [thnk u]
“jared coreau!!! GOOGLE HIM i’m right” [I said this, and we’ve talked, but I need people to know that I, after seeing this, subsequently found out that the Wings didn’t sign coreau back this offszn lmao] 
Nashville Predators
Roman Josi (39.39%--91 of 231 votes)
PK Subban (37.66%--87 of 231 votes)
Kevin Fiala (13.42%--31 of 231 votes)
Other* (9.52%--22 of 231 votes)
*= Pekka Rinne for 4th hottest. [My mom loves him for his name lol. she says it’s “fun”]
Write-ins 
“pk wears cool hats. I like that in a man”
“I don't find any of them hot (Josi used too be hot and then I learned he was illiterate and now I feel nothing but pity towards him)” [GIRL]
“preds are also ugly. pk subban would be attractive if he werent a pred” [lmao. what’d they do to u ?]
Columbus Blue Jackets
Pierre-Luc Dubois (50.22%--113 of 225 votes)
Zach Werenski (20.44%--46 of 225 votes)
Josh Anderson (16.89%--38 of 225 votes)
Other* (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)
*= Alex Wennberg is 4th hottest [lmao]
Write-ins
“Can I put werenskie and Anthony Duclair” [valid]
“Just to be clear CBJ is by far the hottest team exemplified by the fact that you left Seth Jones and Alexander Wenneberg off this list when they're like top 20 in hotness. Also Nick Foligino wins if we include looks and personality.” [I didn’t include them cause this is a mix of hot and ugly hot fam, the avs are 100% the hottest team in the NHL, and that’s coming from me, a Wings fan, destined to hate the Avs for my entire life. Also???? The hotter Foligno is def Marcus lmao]
“[About Werenski] only with the scar though otherwise seth jones” [GIRL scars don’t disappear??? WDYM only with the scar??? Are you a time traveler??? lmfaooo]
Minnesota Wild
J.T. Brown (46.46%--105 of 226 votes)
Other* (21.68%--49 of 226 votes)
Eric Staal (20.80%--47 of 226 votes)
Jason Zucker (11.06%--25 of 226 votes)
*= Charlie Coyle. Honorable mentions to Zach Parise and Matt Dumba.
Write-ins
“Charlie Coyle man! V hot, could kill you, gently waves at babies, 10/10″ [exactly my type! wow]
“ Not JT[,] Lexi is the hottest[,] Eric Staal from a few years ago is also hot” [I added commas to your thing cause.... girl it took me a sec to understand what u were tryna say. But also ur right it’s Lexi.]
“love a #wokebae jt” [yaaas]
FINALLY this legit took me like 10+ hours of work cause I had to transcribe all the info cohesively and then go thru all the responses lmao.
Vegas Golden Knights
William Karlsson (40.52%--94 of 232 votes)
Marc-Andre Fleury (30.60%--71 of 232 votes)
Max Pacioretty (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)
Other* (12.07%--28 of 232 votes)
*= Inconclusive results.
Write-ins
“[Karlsson] because he looks like young Bill from Mamma Mia” [shfhdjdhf girl]
“fleury isn't hot you absolute monster” [???????? drink ur bitterness tea somewhere else pls]
“let's find out just how wild this boy is” [pftd dtduftdhjfgdjfghdjf]
Bonus/Honorable mentions:
The TWO people who put “colin miller’s eyelashes” lmfaoooo
Alrighty this is The End! If you’d like to see another survey by me let me know in my messages/ask!!! Also sorry for stealing de la Rose from u, habs fans
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was that ( leah pipes )? no, it’s just ( camille o’ connell ). they are the ( 25-33) year old ( vampire ). i heard they’re ( compassionate and courageous ) but also ( impulsive and stubborn ). rumor has it they (   haven’t ) pledged allegiance to the hollow. i must warn you, neutrality is not an option.
Okay, there isn’t much to tell on Cami’s bio as y’all probably know her lifestory, character and  personality from the show <3 But there is a few changes to her character which I made up and headcanoned for her after her *sobs* horrible  death. :’(  ⚜ So here’s the current deets on her rn in NOLA :) ⚜  :
So during the eight years after her death, she has indeed found peace up there, like Esther did XD. So she ofc was angelically happy, secure and content being like some sort of a guardian angel up above, watching serenely over her loved ones below, i think BUT poor gal doesn’t get a break does she, as she’s then rudely pulled back down into Earth and resurrected no thanks to Inadu’s cult of dark witches. So Cami awakens in front of them totally lost, bewildered and scared of what the heck is happening right now, and it took all of her usual courage to vehemently say no to pleading allegiance to whoever the hell this Inadu is & she probs thought they were just gonna kill her again right there and then, but i hc that they maybe think that she might be useful unsuspecting asset to them later down the road to use against the Mikaelson’s due to her connections with many of them and the other canon charas who are against the Hollow, so they let her go & ‘escape’ easily from them ;)
She’s quite disoriented, disturbedly lost and very highkey confused as to everything rn, what the hell is happening presently, why was she brought back to life and how exactly, is she really alive for real rn, and how long would her “living” last due to the way she was resurrected back to life and she has absolutely no idea what has happened to everyone and all the events that has transpired in the 8 years after her death. Okie, so when she was brought back to life, she obvs couldn’t keep her ‘heavenly , being-at-peace, persona’ so all her experiences up there and looking down below over her loved ones, was wiped totally from her existing presence of mind and memories, so the only current things she knows in her brain, is her whole lifestory before her death and ofc how she died.
She’s feeling a little out of her zone right now and a lil out of place in trying to adjust back to life as one of the living beings on Earth, well as she living as she can get as a vampire. XD Cos yeah, she’s back in the body which she died in, which was ofc vampire Cami.
She’s also slightly on the edge currently, as in she’s being anxious and slightly fearful of some stuff, not wholly the 100% brave bartender just quite yet. She’s also very wary and pretty distrustful of anyone she doesn’t know/nvr met before and despite her still being kinda impulsive when it comes to wanting to save her loved ones and the innocents & acting on it, there will be times, when she can be a lil hesitant and a bit more careful on some occasions.
She has only been resurrected like i would say about a couple of days ago, so yeah, she’s currently in the state i mentioned in the 2nd and 3rd bullet points.
Oh oh yeah, and what she doesn’t know yet, is that, those dark witches who resurrected her has secretly casted a powerful dark hex on her whereby they would have the ability to possess/ mind control her to do their bidding on a couple of necessary occasions in the future. So yeah, expect to maybe see sleep-walking Cami doing evil/bad stuff on one or two occasions in the near future XD
 So that’s all I have for her for now, and one or two details might be edited, when I plot with people further. To anyone else I haven’t had the chance to IM yet, if you would like to plot anything with Cami just like this post or hmu on her blog! ;) <3 tbh, i would SO LOVE TO GET TO PLOT WITH ALL OF YOU!!XX
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