#they all goodies and I love them very mach

[iced-souls]

I like how I’m always like “WHY HAVENT I FINISHED MY ANIMATIC YET ITS BEEN LIKE A YEAR BROOO COME ON BRAIN!!!”

and then proceed to binge-draw an entire storyboard for an entire song for another animatic off of an entirely different thing

[cyber-sub]

trick or treat

This is something i've had in mind for a bit and i just uhhh wanted to do it,,  so here, have this purely self indulgent autumnal NSFW one shot of kiri getting turned on by lighting and his own spit. 

Tags: Masturbation, S P I T T I N G, guilty! Kiri, mentions of Bakugo just to add a bit more flavor, fem! Reader, lowkey wholesome at the beginning idk I just love autumn, your pov AS WELL AS his (best of both worlds), dense! reader?? idk like maybe a lil??

Warnings: masturbation, spitting

Word count: around 1.7k

It had been an incredibly productive October afternoon.

 You started off the day by hitting every type of store with one goal in mind: to get anything and everything remotely related to Halloween. Decorations, lights, baked goods- if it looked “spooky” enough, you swiped your card. Conveniently, the brisk day was only adding fuel to the flame of excitement to accessorize your apartment. It just felt like a proper autumn’s day with the greyness of the sky and the fallen leaves blowing about. 

When you got back to your apartment, your roommates were not surprised when you walked through the door with bags upon bags of goodies; one of them rushing to help you while the other just stood there and shook his head, a secret smile being forced back, grumbling about how it was a waste of money as he trudged to his room. 

Carrying the excess bags was easy for Kirishima, he benched 20x more than what he was currently holding, using his quirk for extra support- not that he needed it. He merely did it just to… “subtly”... impress you. He figured that it was very manly for men to be able to help out whenever possible and he just wanted to hint that he was in fact, incredibly manly.

You tried not to be obvious... however you couldn’t help but stare at Kirishima’s bulging biceps, even more so when his hardening quirk was activated. You knew he worked hard to get his physique to where it is and who were you not to admire when admiration was so obviously due. 

He carefully placed the bags on the countertop and smiled as his gaze settled on you. For the past few days, all you could talk about was how rapidly Halloween was approaching and how you wanted to go all out in the week before the sweet holiday. Your excitement turned out to be contagious to Kirishima. He always did love the season of autumn with the layering of clothes, spooky stories, and the delicious seasonal drinks; but now, you brought a new sense of warmth to the chillier days. 

Not that you ever knew.

Once everything was set down and laid out, you realized how much ground there was to cover so you wasted no time in putting on some Halloween hits (the first being Monster Mash) and gave Kirishima his first task: to put all the festive food away. With a toothy grin and a salute, he began to put things in the refrigerator while you started unpacking the decorations. Eventually, Kiri joined you to help finish spookifying the livingroom and kitchen.

Once you two were done, Kirishima noticed and pointed out that there were still a few more bags to unpack. You smiled sheepishly at your roommate. 

To his surprise, you had also bought him and your guy’s other roommate decorations! Not a lot, just a few small paper mache ghosts to hang up, three crochet pumpkins, as well as a few other chachki decorations, and a long string of orange lights. 

You guys headed over to Kirishima’s room and you helped him string up the lights above his desk before leaving to go give your other roommate, Bakugo, his decorations. 

Finally, there was one last room for you to deck out in the apartment, and it was yours. 

It took almost the full length of the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack for you to finish decorating your room. Stepping back to look at your masterpiece, you cue the next few Halloween songs before wondering if Kirishima had put up his decorations and the excitement grew in the pit of your stomach at the thought of showing him yours. You took one last look at your room before wandering over to his- passing Bakugo’s room in the process. His door was shut but you saw the sign you had bought him that said, “Warning! Violent doll loose in this room, enter at your own risk!” hung up, meaning he had actually used some of the decorations you had gotten him. With a small smile growing on your face, you approach Kirishima’s room. The door was barely cracked open, the orange glare from the lights was all you could see. 

Before swinging the door open and skipping inside like you had planned, you heard a sound that stopped all movement in your body. 

Attempting to indulge the throb of your pussy and the wetness beginning to grow against your underwear, you slightly pushed open the door, being as quiet as possible. There in eyesight, you saw Kirishima leaning back in his desk chair, head rolled back with his eyes sewn shut, and breathing uneven as his fisted hand pumped his slicked cock with, what you could only assume by the sound you heard a second ago, his own spit. The lighting was only helping the scene in front of you; it was nothing less than sensual. The intense orange lights highlighted the most delicious of his features- his jaw clenching and unclenching, the muscles in his thighs and his biceps flexing as he sped up the sloppy motion just a bit faster. You felt your cheeks turn hot as you’ve decided your next plan of action. 

-- 

Kirishima couldn't take it. It was the subtle things you did that really riled him up, like how you danced around while decorating the general living spaces of your apartment together; moving your hips in a hypnotic grind and jumping around with all the best parts of you jiggling in front of him. It got him good when you would serenade him with half lidded eyes, acting like you were casting a spell on him, in which you unknowingly were. He was so infatuated with you that when you skipped off to decorate your own room, a thick sigh left Kirishima’s lips. He was so incredibly turned on, it was embarrassing. 

At first he didn't want to do anything about it; you were in the other room having the time of your life, listening to the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack  and expressing your love for the upcoming holiday while all he could think about was that half lidded expression you were oh so good at and how good you would look if you were to be on your knees, looking up at him while you kitten lick his dick and fondle his balls. He felt so guilty. Fantasizing such a thing about his sweet roommate wasn’t manly at all. 

He needed to preoccupy himself until you finished and would undoubtedly skip into his room to show him how proud of your room you were- the last thing he would want would be for your innocent eyes to accidentally spot him grunting and whimpering out your name as he lathered and palmed his cock.

He began to move around the decorations you had gotten him in the little nooks and crannies of his room, hanging them in the oddest of places because of his disheveled mind- which didn't seem to take long at all, nor did it stop his dirty thoughts from wandering. His whole head was overcrowded with ideas, he couldn't take it anymore. He would be quick.

He plopped down in his desk chair and started to tease himself over his shorts, a soft sigh of relief escaped him as his thumb ran over his leaky tip. So many images of all the different things he wanted flashed before his eyes; he focused on one in particular for a second. 

He wanted nothing more than to see how you looked under him, a breathy and moaning mess while he slowly pushed inside your tight pussy, deliciously suffocating his throbbing cock. God, he wanted you so bad.

He lifted his hips as he moved to discard his shorts and boxers to the floor. His dick slapped his pelvic region, desperate and aching for attention. Kirishima winced at how hard he was, still semi-ashamed of his pervy behavior. He just needed to sort out this… issue. 

While smearing the precum all over the head of his swollen cock, he took note of how the glaze looked so delicious in the deep orange lighting. It was at that moment, the image of him pulling out of you just to look at how wet you made his dick creeped inside his mind. He needed to have his cock look like it was soaked so he could bring that image to life so he did the first thing that came to mind. He gathered up all the saliva he could before spitting it onto the length of his dick with a soft “puh”. 

Watching the mass of fluid hit himself only turned Kirishima on more. He began to fully stroke himself, making his fist as tight as possible before pushing himself in with a grunt. His eyes skewed shut as he threw his head back, really trying to imagine fucking your sopping pussy. 

He was starting to get a bit sloppier from how close he was to cumming when suddenly he felt a finger lightly graze his skin, following the outline of his jaw. 

His eyes jerked open as he froze in place, tight fist still clenching his cock and heart in his stomach. He didn’t dare move his face to look either, he had been caught by you and he couldn’t bare to face you. 

He felt your finger stop at the side of his chin before forcing his gaze to yours. 

Kirishima’s jaw almost dropped and his dick twitch in his hand. 

He was met with the sight of your tongue running along your bottom lip, hardened nipples, and a perfect view of the darkened spot in your underwear. His eyes shot towards the door to see it was slightly open with your shorts pooled on the floor. 

You took your finger off his chin before whispering, “I’m going to close that door and when I come back to this spot, I want to hear you make that sound again.” 

As you turned around and walked to the door, you heard Kirishima stutter, “w-what sound are you talking about, y/n?” 

Closing the door and turning back around with a slight smirk on your face, you sauntered over to him, gathered a pool of spit in your mouth before spitting it out and watching it dribble down his dick.

“That one, Eiji. I wanna hear you spit on that big cock of yours again.”

[sabineelectricheart]

Teetering on the Edge

Summary: Sylvain and Byleth’s relationship is on the rocks. He is committed to make it work, though.

Rating: K+ - Suitable for more mature childen, 9 years and older, with minor action violence without serious injury. May contain mild coarse language. Should not contain any adult themes.

Words: 1600

Notes: It’s an AU. It’s not as good as this brilliance, but I hope you like it all the same.

Sylvain woke up at an ungodly early hour and rolled over to see Byleth’s sleeping face being highlighted by the dawning sun. He could not sleep anymore, and so decided to open his eyes and get it over with before he feels sick to his stomach in anxiety.

The placid sleeping figure next to him did help to diminish his unease, and he felt fortunate that it did not so happen that she packed a bag overnight and fled back to her parents’ house down the street. By the grace of the Goddess, in a few minutes they woke up next to one another, even if after a heated night.

They fought the previous night, rather heatedly. Of course, they made up very quickly, and he even manage to persuade some sex out of her, but they fought nonetheless. The arguing they had partaken in the night prior was initiated by Sylvain, but she instantly bit back. She was feisty. He loved that about her.

What he did not love, however, was that they had been fighting much too often lately. They were both under a lot of stress in their last year of college, and it was really taking a heavy toll on them, both emotionally and physically. Not to mention all the circumstances that plagued them.

Byleth’s entire family worked at the university, where they observe very critically her successes and failures. It was stressing for anyone, but more so to the very stoic girl, who had trouble venting her feelings appropriately sometimes. As for Sylvain, he came to Garreg Mach to flee from his overbearing family, but this temporary refuge would soon fade away, as graduation veered ever closer. His current situation was unsustainable, but returning in the Summer to Gautier, for what will be the first time in almost a decade, is absolutely unthinkable.

For many years, ever since Dimitri introduced his new colleague Byleth to their usual drinking group, they had leaned into one another to silence the voices and pressures from the outside. They were each other’s best friend, their own living and breathing, and sometimes tough-loving, diary, if you will.

Yet, at the end of the day, they could only fill the pages up so much before they run out. There was only so much bullshit one can handle before snapping, after all, and the redhead knows he is teetering much too close to that limit, and the root of the problem might just be what throws him over the edge.

Sylvain remembered when him and Byleth started their escapades. They were always tight, ever since that fateful night at the Wilted Rose Inn, the absolute worst bar in the Upper City of Garreg Mach. Sylvain thought she was hot and a great addition to his roster of conquests, she thought he was ridiculous.

Over the course of that night, they talked and discovered more about each other that they liked, and a friendship was born. At the beginning, they were inseparable, attached at the hip, but soon they began to be close in other meanings of the word. They were always making out in closets, sharing sweet kisses in his bedroom, sharing rough kisses in his bedroom.

He remembers twirling her as they drunkenly danced on the deck by the fishing pond on more than one occasion. Getting tipsy and going out on the town was the norm for Sylvain and Byleth those years. It was how they would relax after a long day of classes, whenever their timetables matched.

Oh, how he missed those times. They did not really do that stuff anymore, and it was kind of Sylvain’s fault.

Byleth was adored by everyone, boys and girls alike. Even Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, their sullen Boar Prince himself, was so whipped for her one would think that she hung the stars and the moon for him. Sylvain had always felt this uncontrollable twinge of jealousy whenever she would be around the blond, which, considering they were classmates as International Relations bachelors, was quite often.

Besides, his parents taught him at a young age, Dimitri’s needs and wants are to be privileged over anyone else’s. The Gautier boy fears the day when these prerogatives will finally be enforced and the boar takes away his girlfriend, willingly or not.

In truth, Sylvain honestly thought that his girlfriend could do much better, but he knows perfectly well that the Boar Prince was not that guy, either. Byleth was intelligent, put together, focused and so, so beautiful. She knew what she was doing. She was too good for him.

A few Moons into the relationship, as was to be expected, the redhead began to doubt himself. Doubt his charm, his wit, his confidence. His charm made him too flirtatious with others, his wit and confidence slowly became arrogance. He grew more insecure.

Simply put, Sylvain was struggling. He was still dealing with his family problems, which he did not talk to Byleth about. He knew he should, but all that the Gautiers ever gave him was shame, embarrassment and a legion of leeches ready to pounce. He was not about to let them taint the one good thing he managed to wriggle out of life, regardless of whatever Ingrid had to say on the subject.

The pressure made him spiral into depression. Those tipsy nights dancing on the university grounds turned into Sylvain doing shot after shot of expensive whiskey as he moped around watching the Food Network at his too-large of a TV, while Byleth pursed her lips and tried to shake him off his foul mood.

It did not work, of course, and it often led to fights like the one yesternight, but she did not have any other ideas. She did not know what she could do to bring the old Sylvain back, but Goddess, she wanted so much to be there for him.

Sylvain did not know what to do with himself. He was losing himself under an ocean of anger and hard spirits. Sylvain was not a crier, but man did he cry after a few shots of whiskey. Byleth would embrace him so tightly and kiss his temple as he sobbed on her shoulder. His tears would soak into her shirt.

He knew that she cared so much, she was such a bright force in his life, she was golden, the very sun over their small piece of the world, and Sylvain? He was the moon. He would take over and make the brightness disappear. He hated that her brightness was dimming, and that it was because of him.

Sylvain could tell that Byleth was worried about their relationship. Neither of them was stupid or blind. The writing was on the wall, but despite the pressure it put on both of them, he still could not manage to just come out and say what has been plaguing him for so long, and she does not have the strength to wrestle it out of him any longer. She was scared about if their relationship would be able to pull through this, and he was scared, too. He did not want to lose her. If it so happened that he did, he knew he would have deserved it, but man, did he want to preserve it.

So, since it was so stressing to even be together, they began to avoid each other. His girlfriend spent most of her free time with Mercedes and Annette these days. She seemed so happy whenever she would be with them, and she just did not seem that way around Sylvain anymore. Soon, she would meet another man, some annoying goody-two-shoes from the Botanics Department, with whom she would fall in love and leave him for.

He knew he needed to do something. He could not let himself just lose the only person he ever felt love towards, the only person he ever felt that actually loved him. He does not have much time to salvage whatever was left from the love they shared just a few Moons ago.

It was pretty obvious at this point that he needed to go to a psychologist. He needed to be able to talk out his problems. He needed to be able to release what was bothering him, what was holding him back. He wanted to clear his head, and he wanted to be able to tell Byleth the truth of what lies beneath the surface. He had to tell her about his family, not telling her was physically and psychologically paining him. He did not want to keep secrets from her, but he did not want her to be scared off, either.

Yet, he could rest easy on the knowledge that she was the sun. She would not shy away from him. She would embrace him. She would embrace him for all that he was. Sylvain was not where he came from, he is not his horrid family or stupid last name. What happened with them made him who he is, but in the best possible way. When he finally comes clean to his girlfriend, he is certain that a weight will be lifted off of his shoulders, as well as hers.

It would take some time for the two of them to get back to normal, however, but they will heal together. Byleth loved Sylvain. She wanted to be there for him, be there through whatever he was struggling with. Sylvain loved Byleth. He knew that he was screwing things up, and he wanted to fix whatever he could.

They were not perfect, but nobody really is.

*_*_*_*_*

Fire Emblem Masterlist

Three Houses Masterlist

[plumsorcerer]

Ashen Demon’s Cunning Tricks Chapter 1

Fandom: Super Smash Bros Ultimate

Character(s): Ridley, Male!Byleth, with some background characters

Ship(s): Ridley x Male!Byleth, more coming soon

Rating: T

Summary:

As the destroyer of planets and a space pirate, Ridley discarded such trivial feelings like love. However, all it takes is one cunning(?) Ashen Demon to melt the steel wall in his heart.

General Warning:

If you’re not into human/nonhuman then this isn’t for you. Also rated T for curse words in later chapters. This is also mostly character study of Ridley and the possibility of him falling in love. I hope you enjoy nonetheless.

--

He is not the one to make friends and he is not here to make friends, definitely. He is called the ‘Cunning God of Death’ in his own world. He committed many atrocities in the name of himself until one day received an unknown letter from the World of Light.

Ah. I see. This is my call for an even more battle to death…! I accept this! 

He also heard that his arch nemesis aka the little girl called Samus is also joining the World of Light battles. And he couldn’t wait to destroy her once and for all!

So he thought. 

And how foolish of him to think that's all there is to it. 

They promised me endless thrilling near-death battles!! 

So

How did I end up like thiiiiis?!?!?

Ridley thought as he sat down in a casual dining room at one dinner night. For how many times has he thought about that? He couldn’t count anymore. This damned ‘Smash Mansion’ built by Master Hand is nothing but a base filled with nothing but fighters who are obnoxious, goody-two shoes who abide by the rules, and the children… ugh… the children. He usually thinks they’re sinless and okay, but these children are driving him up the wall. They keep asking him to carry them on his back or play with them. Ridley hates it and whenever he tries to tell them to buzz off, they use their most powerful weapon to make him obey them; Samus. 

The Samus that he met in the World of Light is different than the one where he came from. This Samus claimed she has slain him for good and knows every trick he has on his sleeve, much to his horror, and she’s not joking. Whenever Ridley tries to act out of the boundary of rules, her shots are always an inch apart from absolutely pulverizing his skull. 

However, he found an acquaintance with some fellow ‘bad guys’ of the Smash Mansion and it’s nice to have a group to vent your frustrations to. It’s a rare feeling that he never felt before during his time in Space Pirate. And they’re all wicked like him… which suits him just fine. 

Ridley thinks this life kind of sucks, but could’ve been worse. He sighed as he took another slurp of the ramen in front of him.

Tonight is the night they welcome a new fighter in the World of Light: Min Min! She’s a young lass who owned a ramen restaurant back in her world, and out of her peers, she manages to win an invitation to the World of Light. For Min Min, this is important, she wants to promote her family’s restaurant more and more, even if it were to expand to another dimension and world.

Yeah. That’s noble of her, so Ridley thought. At least for celebration, he got delicious food that isn’t usually served in Smash Mansion. Maybe with Min Min’s arrival, the current chefs of the mansion would learn a thing or two from her. 

Speaking of the two chefs, they're really taking notes out of this foreign dish that is not from their world. The two chefs are twins from the dimension of Fire Emblem: Bereto and Beresu. Their real names are Byleth, but it’d be confusing if they both are called Byleth, so they all agreed to be called by their nickname from their fathers. 

Both Byleths are like robots, Ridley thought. They barely emote and always observe others. They have tendencies to give someone random things or search for lost items to give to someone in the Mansion. When they first met Ridley, they immediately raised their weapons until Mario had to stop them, telling them that they’re not one of those… ‘crest monster’ or whatever they thought Ridley is. 

They also have high curiosity and desire to learn more, given that they’re both professors at an academy back in their world. The children love to learn from them, and the Byleths seems to love them too, which is a relief for Ridley, so they would leave him the hell alone.

The Byleths also seem to get along with most Smash Mansion members, with Bereto getting along with the men and Beresu getting along with the ladies. Bereto tends to flock more to the baddies group for some reason while Beresu keeps getting pampered by the few lady members, given makeup or cute dresses. Ah, same fate as Dark Samus. Beresu and Dark Samus would get along for sure. 

As for Bereto, the men of Smash Mansion love to have fishing-off with him. Whether they’re villains or heroes, Bereto takes on challenges with open arms. So far, him and the Animal Crossing world Villagers are on par fishing skill wise. For those who prefer thrilling battles with Bereto like Ridley, he is offering his sword too… or three of the legendary relics from his world. Ridley thought a mere human with a sword like him is an easy opponent, just like any other humans he faced in Smash Mansion. 

And that leads him to his downfall. And something more. 

Once, Ridley challenged Bereto in a battle at Garreg Mach. Bereto, with his students cheering on him from behind, is seen more alive than he usually is during his time in the Smash Mansion which Ridley doesn’t get the feeling. 

Ridley thought it's just gonna be an easy match. No problem. Just like fighting Marth, Roy, Lucina, and Chrom. No problem, right? 

And he thought wrong.

Damn, what is he made of?! That was Ridley’s last thought before he was slashed with Bereto’s demon lance Areadbhar and was thrown off stage..

GAME!!!

THE WINNER IS…. BYLETH!

However…

A whip-like sword catches Ridley’s waist right in time before he can meet his doom. There is no ultimate death in the World of Light, but falling off-stage can be a very painful experience. 

Huh?

Ridley feels a strong pull from above and he eventually was thrown on the stage. He felt slight pain on his body from the impact, but it’s not as big a surprise as what Bereto did to him. 

“Hurrgh…?!?” Ridley groaned.

“Are you okay?” with a monotonous voice, Bereto approaches the beaten up dragon. 

Despite his initial shock, he tried to be cunning like himself, “Hah! Your pity would just cause you your li—!!” As he turned his head and tail to impale Bereto, time seemed like it stopped and his vision darkens.

When Ridley blinked he saw Bereto parry his tail with the dagger on his hips. Before Ridley can do anything, Bereto lets go of the Sword of Creator that currently binds Ridley and summons his axe Aymr and swings it down with two of his hands. Ridley thought, Oh crap, before Bereto stopped barely at Ridley’s neck and Bereto’s foot stepped on Ridley’s tail that unfortunately landed on his chest. 

Being tied up with the Sword of Creator and being stepped on… while he has an axe pointed to his throat, this is a rather awkward situation for Ridley. 

“You lose, Ridley. Give it up,” Bereto declared. “Don’t make me use another divine pulse,” 

“My my, isn’t using divine pulse cheating… professor?” Ridley said in a mocking tone in his last word. 

“You didn’t hear the announcer do you? The battle’s over,” Bereto sighed. “You don’t want me to call Samus over, right?”

Ridley immediately shuddered. “... Pah, you win, Bereto,” 

“Alright. That was a good match, Ridley. Thank you,” Then, Bereto surprisingly cracked out a smile. Slight smile. And Ridley saw that. 

And that was the first smile that melted through the steel wall inside Ridley’s heart. 

--

[selenelavellan]

HWRC Redux AU

Previous Installments

Dirthamen, Deceit, and Fear are @feynites

Who’s up for some good ol’ fashioned Dirthalene pining, hm?

(warning for some very mild nsfw at the end)

It's a learning curve.

Selene spends weeks pouring through Dirthamen's libraries, carrying stacks into her rooms and staying up far too late reading through them. Some nights he'll crawl in and sleep beside her, or Deceit will stretch out with their head in her lap or Fear will perch somewhere in the room and pretend to not be watching her. Sometimes Des will come and steal them away, often at her request if she's feeling too...claustrophobic.

It takes some doing for her to find her balance again, between grading papers and making lesson plans and sometimes she'll borrow whoever is free to help her prep crafts for the children in her class back in Thedas. It's certainly a strange feeling, to see the God of Secrets filling paper stars with confetti for goodie bags.

She couldn't help the laugh that escaped her when the glue fell open on Fear during paper mache practice. Really. Talons just weren't made for that sort of activity.

And the glue turned out to be even harder to wash out of their feathered hair, afterwards.

It's not until nearly a month into their tentative cohabitation that things start to feel strange to her again.

“My lady!” One of the sentinels calls.

It takes a moment for Selene to realize they are addressing her.

“Oh. Uh,” She flounders  “You don't have to call me that. Selene is fine, really.”

“Of course, my lady Selene,” They say with a deep bow, and she has to bite back the impulse to roll her eyes. “Your Lord Husband is requesting your presence in his office.”

Selene's heart skips in her chest.

Her 'Lord husband.'

Her husband.

A strangely intimate term for the god who tricked her into their bond.

“Right,” She acknowledges all the same, pushing down on the strange twisting feeling in her stomach. “Thank you.”

“I'll make sure she gets there,” Des interrupts as he comes around the corner. “Thanks babe.”

The sentinel turns and bows again, face flushing slightly. “Of course, Lord Des. Thank you for your generosity.”

“That's me,” Des preens, slinging an arm over Selenes shoulders with a wink. “Lord Des the generous.”

Selene snorts while the sentinel takes their leave .

“I can't believe you.”

“What?” Des says, feigning an innocence he's never possessed.

“'Lord' Des. Really?”

“Oh yeah,” He grins. “I'm affiliated with you, and since you married the God-in-charge, I get a ridiculously good ranking. Technically I'm a 'consort', but hey, no complaints on my end.”

“And you like the title?”

“Are you kidding?” He says with a shimmy that makes his too-tight shirt ride up on him. “I'm thinking about learning how to write elvhen just so that I can turn it into my tramp stamp.”

Selene shakes her head with a sigh. “You're much more suited to this than I am.”

“Yeah, well; I didn't accept a ring from a magic bird.”

With a soft hum of affirmation, she pats his forearm and makes her own way towards Dirthamens office.

Her husbands office.

Something in her warms as the word passes through her mind, but she doesn't dare linger on it. Emotions are too easily read here, and if word got out that she might...that she might have real genuine feelings for a God, well...

She can't think of a single story where that ever ended alright for the mortal.

The sentries posted outside of Dirthamen's office open the doors for her when they see her approaching, and she has to bite down on the inside of her cheek to keep from thanking them aloud; the last time she had done so, they had ended up in a nearly thirty minute loop of apologies and gratitudes and platitudes that only Deceit had managed to finally put an end to. Apparently manners only matter for people above your rank and the only person above her rank here, is Dirthamen.

“Hello,” She greets with a small, awkward wave. “You called for me?”

“Yes,” Dirthamen answers, motioning her to move beside him. “I was hoping for your input on the garden renovation.”

“I'm sure whatever you have planned is fine,” She says, even as she moves to look over his shoulder at the papers currently laid over his desk. “I'm not even familiar with most of your flora.”

“Are there any particular features you would like it to possess?” He asks anyways. “All of my resources are available to you.”

Selene pushes down on the flush trying to rise in her face at the way he glances up at her when he says it. He's wearing a mask dammit, she can't even see most of his face. Just the way the blue of his eyes reflect the light, looking up at her all earnest, and love filled, and...

Damn it all.

“A strawberry patch would be nice,” She relents. “I used to like growing them when I was younger, but the type I'm used to didn't grow well in the heat of the city.”

He nods, and she glances down at him as he scribbles something into one of the empty boxes (magical elvhen translation can't stand up to bad penmanship it seems, or maybe he's just writing in a code) and notices a familiar pale yellow color sticking out from the sleeves of his robe.

She blinks once.

Twice.

Her hands reach out to part his robe before she can think twice and-yes.

Yes, her shape-shifting god husband is wearing her yellow sunflower sweater underneath his magical official god robes.

“That's my sweater,” She says, as though perhaps, maybe, he might not have known. Might not have noticed her wearing it the day before.

“Yes.” is all he says though.

Selene nods, because really what else can she do?

“It suits you,” She blurts out, watching as the patches of skin exposed by the stretched out neckline flush and gleam with color at her compliment, the sight making her stomach do flips in a way she'd very much like for it to stop doing dammit.

“Thank you,” He says. “I hope you do not mind. You left it at the foot of our bed,” (Our bed, she repeats internally while her stomach does another flip and her heart starts pounding) “And I was quite distracted by the pleasant smell of your bodywash that lingered on it. Wearing it seemed more conducive to making it out of the bedroom.”

Selene swallows and nods again, trying very hard not to think about him curled up in bed (their bed, some traitorous part of herself helpfully supplies) with her sweater pressed up against them and finding other ways to spend their day than doing paperwork to renovate an already exquisite garden. Maybe he's having similar difficulties to her own; mind distracted by thoughts of wife, and romance and touch and-

No.

No, no, she's not-she's not letting her mind wander there, not now, not here.

Gods forbid she lights his desk or some irreplaceable text on fire and then has to explain why it happened.

Nope.

“That's fine,” She finally manages, carefully closing his robes again so she can stop staring at him wearing her sweater and very little else under his robe. “Not a problem at all.”

“Thank you,” He repeats, seemingly utterly clueless about her current internal struggle. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“What?” She says, voice cracking slightly as her mind shoots to inappropriate places and activities and her sweater and their bed and his body-

“For the gardens,” He clarifies. “Is there anything else you would like besides the strawberries?”

“Uh,” Selene struggles to find a clear, cohesive thought, tongue trailing absently over her lips. “Water? Like a fountain or...Some sort of body of water? Cold water. Cold water would be great, really.”

“Would a stream suffice?”

“So long as I can drown in it,” She mutters to herself, mentally willing her body to chill the hell out before more loudly announcing “Yes, a stream would be perfect. Thank you.”

“It is no trouble,” He assures her, writing another note onto the paper before him.

Selene takes her leave after that, making up a quick lie about promising to meet with Des about something, and running off to her (their, her mind reminds her, flashes of Dirthamen nude and dripping and gleaming rising up and quickening her steps) baths to try and cool off before she can ignite some important ancient relic or something.

She slides into the tub, goosebumps rising over her skin as she sinks into the cold of the water. Her hair spreads out around her shoulders as she rests her head against the edge of the tub and tries to clear her mind.

It doesn't work.

The temperature of the water rises as her mind fills with more thoughts of Dirthamen, sprawled out on their bed in nothing but the soft cotton of her sunflower sweater while his cheeks flush the way his neck had, of Deceit behind her with gentle caresses, soft whispers in her ear of ancient secrets and promises of eternity, of Fear prone and open and trusting, and all of them together with bodies writhing beneath her hands, her mouth, her...

fuck.

Her body relaxes as she lets herself fall away from her orgasm, the water steaming around her while she tries to catch her breath. Her cunt clenching around nothing as her fingers slide away, and she tries to convince herself she didn't just do what she definitely just did, mind running words on repeat that do nothing to calm her down.

Husbands.

Partners.

Vhenans.

Selene drags her clean hand down her face and lets out a soft curse.

She is in way over her head here.

And she doesn't, entirely, hate it.

[holyfrijolesmm-blog]

The Temple Visit to Fung Ying Seen Koon

During Jesse’s holiday break, we opted to take a day trip. Jesse did some research and came across a day trip to the New Territories region of Hong Kong. According to Wikipedia, it has about 9,450 people per square mile! Compare this to Yuma’s 784 people per square mile and Phoenix’s 3,165 people per square mile. Yowza! This territory was leased and given back to China in 1997. We live in Shenzhen (Shen-Jen) and are able to see this part of Hong Kong across the bay. Jesse shared with me that this part of Hong Kong is not the traditional part we might see with the familiar high rises, etc. in the movies.

We slept in and had our coffee and breakfast. We don’t have a coffee maker, but recently we had purchased these coffee kits for individual cups which were made in Japan and sold at Walmart not far from here. It’s a little filter bag that has a paper hook on either side to connect to your coffee cup. You just pour your hot water and you have yourself a nice cup of joe! We do have a hot water pot in China. This thing is freakin’ fantastic! You just add water and pop the button down and in less than a few minutes you have steaming water and then the button pops up and turns off automatically! I don’t know why I don’t have one of these at home as I use it for oatmeal, coffee, tea, or just to enjoy hot water and honey. I will definitely be getting one of these when I go home.

We went on the metro to Futian which is where we would walk across through immigration. The metro is super clean and new and has a flat screen on the inside with a little locomotive to show you where you’re heading next. Additionally, it has a barrier wall to ensure no falls into the tracks area, which I can appreciate after watching that one scene in House of Cards. The entrances have footprints to show you where to stand. Those entering are on the sides going into the car and those exiting go straight out. The train was full so Jesse and I stood most of the journey (I have to lean against a bar or hold on as I don’t have the coordination yet to go hands free) for what seemed to be an hour ride with a few metro line changes. Two observations I’ve made, is one EVERYONE is on their cell phones. We as a human race very much have this is common. I see WeChat screens that are familiar on occasion. Second, it’s very quiet and courteous. There are signs encouraging passengers to allow more fragile populations to have seats first and I’ve seen several younger persons offering seats to more elderly people or those with babies. The metro bathrooms are only squatty potties so I had to roll up my pants so I wouldn’t have any accidents. You will see rolled up pants in one of the photos. Oy.

Once we got to our stop we had to complete a “departure” card, which is a little postcard-like item where you list your address, passport and visa number and you take that and your passport and stand in line. I am notorious for choosing the wrong lines (aka slow), and indeed I chose wrong. The immigration person was very thorough, asking me to tuck my hair back, since it is shorter than in my passport photo and asked me my name twice to be said audibly aloud. After about two minutes, he finally stamped me through, and I waited passed the gate for Jesse. Jesse seemed to be in the line for about five minutes, which in immigration wait time feels like 30 minutes! Jesse was finally given the go ahead and we made our way to the Hong Kong metro. Jesse said I needed an “octopus” card so I could ride the metro in Hong Kong, so we purchased one of those, got some Hong Kong dollars, and made our way to the Fung Ying Seen Koon Temple, after only two stops on the metro. We walked from the metro station underneath a road toward our destination. The metro walkway path to the exit was lined with bike after bike! There were so many signs that said no bikes and that violators would be subject to fines, but that was not a very good deterrent. Were these bikes owned by people working in Shenzhen and living in Hong Kong? It’s hard to say.

Once we walked another minute or so we reached the temple. The temple was built in 1929 and is associated with Daoism. I’ve read two different stories about how it was named. It was either after two divine mountains or two islands. The first thing I noticed was all the steps leading up to a beautiful structure. It was a sight to behold with bright architecture in reds and bold blues. I loved seeing the animals depicted in carvings in stone or in ceramic flower pots. Despite bamboo poles all around, it was still a beautiful building. I am not very familiar with Daoism, but I’ve read in one article that people believe “The Way” to heaven is by living in harmony with nature.

I will say that the nature in China is beautiful. I am a true Arizona Gal. I love my sunny weather and mild winters. The winter here has been mild and there are so many trees and flowers everywhere. I love the fact that I can look outside my living room window and open the patio doors to see a beautiful mountainside full of trees. The other cool thing here is that many of the plants will have a plastic plaque tied on the trees with a picture and a QR code for you to scan and learn more about them. I still think that’s so great!! I grew up with a mom who had quite the green thumb so I was familiar with many flower plants, but there are many trees I don’t know about as I’m around mesquites and palo verdes mostly.

There are also aspects of Daoism where you provide “offerings” to deceased loved ones. I saw items such as food (meat and fruit), flowers, incense sticks, and other goodies posted at various locations in front of statues and near people’s pictures. Indeed, imagine a wall with perfect 8x10 black and white photos with names and dates lined up one after the other. The times there were no pictures there was a small cubby hole. I don’t know if ashes are behind the pictures but I noticed offerings in some of the cubby holes to include bowls of soup, bottles of spirits, and even some gummy worms! I told Jesse that he could bring me offerings of chocolate and margaritas. Hehe. As we walked up the steps we found our way to more steps and were able to see walls on the diagonal with photos and there was a little house or building up high on the mountainside so we ventured up. Along the way I saw a car made out of tissue paper on its own proper foundation of wire! I didn’t know what it was and thought it must have been from a parade or some event, but Jesse said it was an offering and was getting prepped to be burned in one of the many furnaces we saw around the temple. And wouldn’t you know it, but I found an article online that had a paper Mercedes as an offering! It is believed that once the item is offered and burned it can present itself in the after world. Man, I was thinking to myself that I would want Jesse to offer me a paper mache Nissan 350 Z. Can you imagine? I miss that car! Haha!

As we walked up more steps, the steps were uneven and seemed to be carved out of the stone. We arrived at a structure which was reminiscent of a gazebo. I imagined people dancing under the roof. The area was lush with trees and so calm the higher we walked up despite being on a busy roadway. You’ll see a pic of Jesse and I with the temple as one background and high-rises on the flip side. We finally came upon a small cemetery. Sometimes I get a little weirded out around cemeteries, but I didn’t find myself feeling weird at all, but I didn’t want to disturb anyone just the same, so I said a quick “peace be with you” and walked back down. We took a different route down and once again saw all these amazing walls with those beautiful black and white photos. The dates indicated people who died both young and old. I loved that all the photos were black and white. I also enjoyed seeing the older faces and sometimes younger faces of those who had lived a long time. I saw facial features that reminded me of my own dad and aunt. It was really interesting. I took some pics but I didn’t want to get too close to the faces as I didn’t want to be disrespectful.

Jesse and I made our way back to another area and Jesse told me this pathway lead to a very special place. I thought we were going to visit another sacred area and he said it lead to the elevator! Haha! So I gladly accepted the relief from taking more steps.

I really enjoyed this visit - much more than I had anticipated. I loved seeing the families in groups visit loved ones and bringing offerings. I loved seeing the staff take care of the temple by washing its floors and touching up paint on frames that would probably house statues. It was a beautiful place to visit, calm and serene. I hope you enjoyed my trip memories! I appreciate writing this blog now too, so that I can read about my adventures in years to come. :)

#templememories #Fairlady #NewTerritories

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

The stigma against buying used sex toys has weakened. But is it really a good idea?

This post is part of Mashable's Masturbation Week. May is National Masturbation Month, so we're celebrating by exploring the many facets of self-love.

I dream of the day our nation's greatest minds come together and invent a compostable dildo.

Tragically, that day has not arrived.

Over the past few years, however, there's been a growing interest in sustainable sex toys — including, but thankfully not limited to, used sex toys. Browse Craigslist, Reddit, or even some of your favorite sex-positive Facebook groups, and you're guaranteed to find a discounted, freshly boiled anal plug for sale.

And while there's nothing quite so magical as coming home to a warm pot of cock rings on the stove, it's worth noting that no used sex toy is ever completely free of risk.

Memorize that fact. Somehow over the past decade, it's been forgotten.

SEE ALSO: How mutual masturbation can help close the orgasm gap

If you haven't seen used sex toys for sale, well then bless your pure heart. The rest of us sinners have been subject to all kinds of questionable advertising, including r/usedsextoys, an online marketplace for used toys. The page brands itself as a service for people who don't want to waste their used sex toys  or just kinda have a kink for it.

"Why just throw away your toys when you can make a bit of money?" the homepage reads. Some ads appeal to the more socially conscious consumer. The kind of responsible person who adopts their dog from the shelter — just substitute sex toys for dogs and social platforms for shelters.

"All these goodies are for sale! Tried 'em each a time or two. Rather give them a new home than sit unused," one ad recently implored.

r/SexToys is more circumspect. Only nonporous toys are available for purchase, and advertisers must explain how the toy was previously used (which still relies on something of a trust system).

For all its public health reforms, Craigslist still remains one of the best places to buy used sex toys online. Take, for example, this delightful piece of booty bling available for purchase from a random street in Brooklyn:

Image: screenshot/craigslist

Used sex toys may not exactly be having a "comeback," but one thing is clear: The stigma against them has diminished.

Understandably so. Today's millennials don't live in the shadow of the AIDS epidemic. Plenty of STIs are curable. Sex toys can be wildly expensive. Boiling a sex toy can work wonders, just not magic.

Lisa Finn is a sex educator and brand manager for Babeland, a feminist sex toy boutique with locations on both coasts. While Finn understands why some folks prefer to buy used sex toys online, she cautions that purchasing one isn't without risk:

"There are materials like stainless steel and factory-grade silicone that can very easily be disinfected. Some toys that don't have any motors or divets or openings can be completely disinfected, like platinum-grade silicone. But," Finn argues, "you can't guarantee that those products are made out of those materials. Or if that silicone has been degraded."

Even the most conspicuous consumer might be caught off guard. "The only real guarantee is if you know exactly what the material is and how its been cared for,"  Finn says. "Buying things that are boxed doesn't make a difference. You don't know if someone opened that box and went to Staples [to repackage it]. People are able to resell something that's been used and been contaminated."

SEE ALSO: Actual things you can do to bridge the orgasm gap in your own bedroom

Next to saving for your retirement, buying a new sex toy is a solid investment. And if you can spare the cash, it's worth purchasing it from a quality manufacturer who uses materials that won't singe your genitals. Freshness does make a difference, whether you're talking about broccoli or anal beads.

To be clear, not everyone who's buying a used sex toy online is doing it for the great discounts, and they're not all indifferent to the health risks. Some are just genuinely concerned about sustainability. 

There are no known recyclable cock rings. I have yet to see a paper mache butt plug. Day after day I look for compostable vibrators, and yet. And yet. 

Finn admits that sex toys typically aren't made of recyclable materials. There's not much you can make out of a silicone dildo besides another ... silicone dildo. Some e-waste facilities exist, but by and large, sex toy recycling technology lags far behind.

Far better, then, to think of sex toys as a long-term investment, not a disposable good. Relieve your recycling anxiety. Just as we put time and attention into purchasing a new home, we should put care into picking out our next big vibrator. We don't need "fast fashion" in the same way we don't need "fast f*ck toys."

SEE ALSO: 4 women-owned companies making the sex tech industry more approachable

For those who don't have the money to make a substantial investment in double dildos, Finn suggests looking into retailers who offer quality generic lines. (There's also a charity that provides free sex toys, as part of their mission to close the orgasm gap.)

"Our cheapest vibrator is $12, and we're using materials that are body safe ... These are simple functional sex toys for someone who wants the experience to try out a sex toy but doesn't have the money."

If you're a sex toy consumer interested in discounts and/or your personal safety, you don't need to turn to the secondhand market. Hope springs eternal in generic sex toy lines and long-lasting toys. 

Purchase wisely and always remember to boil.

WATCH: These monkeys are having better sex than you.

[iwantingsbuzz-blog]

House Tour: A House Filled With DIY Halloween Decor

Name:Jennifer Perkins and husband Chris Boehk along with daughter Tallulah (five years old) and Baxter (three years old). Location: Shady Hollow Neighborhood — Austin, Texas Size: 2,900 square feet Years lived in: Owned 1 year

We shared some of the great Halloween decor ideas we spotted in the home of Jennifer Perkins (crafter, business lady and really rad mom) earlier this month. As promised, we're back with a bigger tour so you can see how all those great decor ideas fit in with Jennifer's colorful everyday style. And though having a dynamically decorated home is a year-round affair for this fun family, Halloween is a special time of year because Jennifer is known for her huge family-friendly annual Halloween party.

Jennifer shares some of the history behind her annual spooky bash:

This will be our sixth year for our annual Halloween party. What started out as a very small and modest affair has grown quite a bit through the years (Last year we had almost 100 people and this year we topped that). Many of the same families have been coming since the very beginning. This is why the Halloween party posters I hang in the dining room are one of my favorite party decorations. It is great to see how the kids have grown over the six years. The party is all about the kids with cookies galore (my deep freeze is almost completely full), pinatas, crafts, rice-filled sensory bins and this year a haunted train ride. Yup, I rented a small train that took the kids on a ride through our neighborhood.

I try to make every year slightly different. No table or mantel is ever the same. There is always a new witch finger shaped cookie or donut made to look like a spider. I start baking over a month out since Baxter has a peanut allergy and I have to hand make almost everything. Most store bought cookies and cupcakes are a no-no for him and every party we attend I have to BYO-cupcake. This is the one party a year where he can go crazy and eat whatever he wants. Cupcakes, cookies, chocolate covered Oreo brains. God bless our deep freeze. I'm already thinking about what I can do in 2015 to top this year's party! Be sure to check out Jennifer's website where can find a lot more of her ideas.

Apartment Therapy Survey:

My Style: I like my Halloween kitschy and not too scary. I have small children and don't really like zombies anyway. Year round my decorating sense is very eclectic and has a sense of humor. Halloween is not any different.

Inspiration: I love me the Pinterest like everyone else. Stephen Brown of Glitterville has amazing Halloween crafts. I live for the Halloween editions of Matthew Mead's magazine. Country Living always has adorable ideas. On the rare occasion that I find vintage magazines from October I gobble them up.

Favorite Element: In my everyday home the natural light is what initially drew me in to this house. When it comes to Halloween it is hard to pick a favorite room. I love my mirror covered in bright colorful masks. I want to keep them up all year long.

What Friends Say: My friends look forward to my Halloween party not just for all the sweets I bake, but to see all the decorations. If you are going to throw a theme party THROW A PARTY, don't phone it in. My friends might say I am Halloween obsessed, but then they know I go overkill decorating for every holiday. Did I mention I had over 80 Christmas trees last year?

Biggest Embarrassment: It is a tie between the dirty carpet that I have yet to replace and my black leather couches that look like they came from Andrew Dice Clay's house.

Proudest DIY:I am very smitten with the fabric swag curtains my mother made for my front door. This year for our annual Halloween party we had a train that took kids up and down our street. I knew people would be spending a lot of time in our front yard so I wanted the house to look as cute outside as it did in.

Biggest Indulgence: In my everyday home my navy Jonathan Adler couch was my biggest indulgence. When it comes to Halloween I've been pretty lucky. The most expensive things I own I didn't pay for. I have three vintage paper mache' pumpkins that were my parents (one is almost 75 years old). After that I didn't pay tons, but my blow molds and vintage masks would probably fetch the most money on Ebay.

Best Advice: This is a collection I have amassed over years like everything else in my home. If you want to collect vintage Halloween goodies think about buying things in the 'off season'. If I go to a flea market in September the prices on vintage Halloween will be a lot higher than they will be in April.

Dream Sources: If someone told me there was an abandoned warehouse of vintage dead stock Ben Cooper or Collegeville Halloween costumes with a closet full of old blow molds I would probably pass out. I love my collection of vintage Halloween masks most of all, but since they are so fragile not that many made it from the 70s.

Resources of Note:

LIVING ROOM

Navy Couch - Jonathan Adler JC Penny

Vintage Theatre Seats - original Alamo Drafthouse

Mirrored Ello credenza - Warrington Flea Market

Bar stools painted by Hope and Jennifer Perkins from Salvation Army

Kilim rug - Tuesday Morning

Low faux burl coffee table - Craigslist

Brass etagere - thrift store

Vintage large glass vases - family heirlooms

Vladimir Tretchikoff print above mantle called Balinese Girl was found at an estate sale in Peoria, IL.

Gallery wall comprised of my mom's textile arts from the 70s, husband's band photos, prints from favorite artists, and signed Peter Max print

Vintage Fisher-Price toys (low for the kids to play with)

BREAKFAST NOOK

Dining table and China hutch Warrington flea market

Antique papier mache pumpkins in cabinet were my parents when they were children

Ceramic pumpkin cookie jar was made by my grandmother

Large cat and owl planter from Pottery Barn Kids

Green couch Craig's List,

Vintage Thayer Coggin chrome chairs were my parents that I had recovered

Chrome etagere - Room Service Vintage

Mid-century bar I have had since college

JH Lynch prints of 2 women are my prize possessions

Large mirror - Home Goods

Vintage pinball art - Warrington flea market

Coffee table - Salvation Army

Columbia Records display for magazines - garage sale

I adore my collection of vintage Halloween masks - the neon colors make me happy.

Brass and glass dining table Craigslist

Lightolier Craigslist

GAME ROOM

Colorful jute rug - Home Goods

Zebra painting - by me

Giant Halloween pillows - My Paper Crane

The gallery wall is a collection of custom family portraits that I have commissioned by different artists each year

Table - Goodwill

Tipi light - Warrington flea market

Skeleton flamingos - JoAnn's.

My mother Fredda Perkins sewed the curtains leading to the front door

Vintage rattan furniture

Heywood Wakefield coffee table