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servin-up-surveys · 1 year

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survey #132

Who is your favorite sibling? I'm not picking a favorite.

Do you have neat handwriting? Yeah, people regularly say it's almost too fancy to read lmao. Once you're used to how I write my letters though I think it's perfectly decipherable.

Have you ever tried seaweed? Yes, I thought it was disgusting.

Would you rather grow wings or a tail? WINGS

Have you ever been to a gynecologist? I went to my very first one over a month ago, maybe close to two; I'd been able to avoid them this long because of being a virgin but by 27 years old, it was understandably being pushed on me for my own protection; not everything that happens down there is related to intimacy and I was being very unsafe by refusing to go for this long. It was an extremely upsetting and difficult experience that took a long time to do because I just wouldn't cooperate and calm down but we eventually got it done. I'm very, very thankful for how patient and understanding the doctor and her assistant were, and obviously my mom being so supportive and present too.

Do you get on Facebook every day? Generally, yes.

What is your Instagram screenname? I have three lmao (brittsburrow, brittanymphotography, eldritch_obscura), all for different purposes.

Would you ever consider naming a child after a family member? No. They're having their own, unique identity.

Do you know anyone who has the virus? Not currently, I think.

What do you remember from sex ed class when you were younger? That apparently you were either abstinent or stupid. No in-betweens.

Are caterpillars more cute or disgusting? Cute!!!!

Did you reject or accept your last friend request? No, some rando I didn't know or even have mutuals with.

Have you ever made out with someone you weren’t dating? No.

What was the last thing you threw away? A food wrapper.

When you were born was the umbilical cord wrapped around your neck? Not that I know of, and I'd definitely assume no because of how my mom explains mine and my two immediate sisters' births: Ashley was born with a very red face, I was normal (white as a newborn baby is gonna be), and Nicole was blue (she wasn't breathing/at risk of dying), so she sometimes calls us the American Girls lmfao.

Do you have a guilty conscience? YES

Would you enter a burning building to save a kitten? I think in the heat (lul) of the moment, unless it was a very clear, indisputable case of "you're going to die walking directly into fire," I feel like I would.

Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John? If you're asking which section of the Bible I prefer, none. What name do I like best, Luke.

Do you like avocados? Ugh no, I do NOT get the appeal whatsoever.

What’s the worst name you’ve ever been called? A weak-willed deadweight. Or martyr (and not in the "I'd die for my beliefs" sense). The first one hurt more though, because I get insecure over myself in the way of seeing myself as weak and burdensome.

What are some pieces of furniture that you must have in your dream house? Uhhh I haven't thought much about this. Obviously a comfortable bed large enough for me and my partner, a decent couch (that is NOT leather, that I do have a strong opinion on, lol), and I'd actually really really like a cozy hanging swing chair for reading and stuff. Certainly an entertainment center of some sort for a television and gaming consoles.

If you smoke weed, what do you usually do after you get high? If you don’t, what would you do if everyone around you were smoking? I don't, and I've been in the second situation before lol, I just chatted with 'em and watched TV.

Have you ever studied human anatomy? No. I mean, besides lightly in very basic science courses that cover like our different bodily systems.

Do you plan to do much or go anywhere tomorrow? Um nothing that I know of. I'd like to see Girt though, maybe I will.

Would you have more Word documents or images saved on your computer? Images, by a long shot.

What's your favourite non-dairy milk? I only enjoy dairy milk. Trust me, I've tried not to.

Which sibling are you closest to, both physically (distance) and emotionally? Physically, uhhhh... I'm preeeetty sure Ashley's place is closer? Emotionally, none, honestly. I WISH I was closer with them.

What would you do if your partner cheated on you? I'm gone, immediately.

What’s the furthest you’ve gone with the opposite gender? I guess it'd be oral.

Have you ever taken part in an orgy or bondage party? Noooooo I have no interest in doing intimate stuff with more than just my partner present.

Does pain turn you on? More than what I'm rather positive is considered normal but not to an extreme level, I absolutely have boundaries.

What time of day you were born? Like, 11:30 AM.

Have you ever had sex at school before? You couldn't have paid me to do that.

What piercings do you want? A good chunk more in my ears, right nostril for the third time lmao, I'm DYING to get a pair of collarbone dermals if my collarbones are ever prominent again (or with this new tattoo I'm actually considering the possibility of just getting one in the middle of the arch of the moon that's in it), and I've also thought about MAYBE back dimple dermals if my body/weight gets to a point that I'm happy with. There are more facial piercings that I'd like, but me ever not having glasses again isn't realistic and I don't think they'd look good with glasses.

How many people have you kissed? Four.

Describe your dream home. Not sure about the building material (I love wooden houses but there are more sustainable options), but I know with absolute fucking certainty it's GOT to be out in nature, very preferably the woods, with only few neighbors. A nature-friendly yard is absolutely mandatory; fuck that bland-ass green carpet shit, we're having plenty of flowers (even those that are considered weeds), a birdfeeder, hopefully a bat house, and a bird bath would be AMAZING. I'd really like a flower garden too, but that REALLY depends on if I develop the dedication for it and tolerance to being outside in the heat and stuff. As far as interior stuff goes and besides the very obvious essentials, I'd like a room to dedicate to my hopeful collection of reptiles and inverts, as well as one for gaming and computer stuff... more so for Girt at this point, haha, but I'd love it too. A room dedicated to productivity (drawing, doing yoga, writing poems, etc.) would be really beneficial for me, and it's one where I'd like big windows to let tons of light in.

Do you watch porn? No, very much not my thing.

Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced? Most likely not.

How would you spend a million dollars? House and car for Mom, then buy a house for Girt and me.

Describe your best friend. Funny as hell and loyal as a dog. He leaves nobody he cares about behind, ever, and despite he himself actually thinking he's generally selfish, he's SO far from it. When he cares, he cares incredibly deeply, and he's the most hard-headed human being I've ever met, sometimes to his detriment. He's an extremely hard worker, but on the downside, puts an absurd amount of pressure on himself and is convinced he's never enough in any sort of way. He's very much a provider in personality, like he's straight-up said he LIKES knowing that he's taking weight off people and that it gives him a sense of purpose. He's an introvert and a major homebody that likes sticking to himself, but he's perfectly friendly when he does interact with others, unless you give him reason not to be. He's VERY much more logical than emotional, like it's not even close, but he's absolutely not heartless and especially as his s/o I certainly see he has feelings. He is honest to god just such a fucking fantastic person and I consider myself remarkably lucky to know this one guy out of eight billion people.

Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? No romantic feelings, no. I do care that Jason stays okay (even though I don't have a way of truly knowing this) and I want him to do great in the world, but I don't have surviving romantic feelings for him anymore.

If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick? I don't personally know a single celebrity, so none of them.

What’s your favorite kind of weather? Snowy! Not like a blizzard, but just a gentle, quiet snowfall.

What in your opinion is the best love song ever written? Maaaan idk there's so many lol, I have a long-time adoration of "When It's Love" by Van Halen, but I also think "If It's Love" by Train is insanely adorable.

Was your mother married when she had you? No, apparently.

Who was the last person(s) you took a photo with? Uh, I'm actually not sure, I feel like it was my sisters on my birthday...

Do you like cheeseburgers? They're actually one of my favorite foods and I really wish they weren't lmao

Are you mad at your best friend right now? No, got no reason to be. On the contrary I've been clingier than normal the past few days, I've noticed.

Do you have a Flickr? Yeah. Not a big photography platform focus for me, but it's there.

Anything exciting happening in the month of September? Yeah, that'll be mine and Girt's second anniversary.

Where was your FB display pic taken? This desk chair.

Your ex calls wanting to hang out. What do you say? I don't know how the hell he'd have my number, but in the total hypothetical, the answer's no. I'd ask him why he's asking, and I mean... I guess maybe I'd be fine meeting up in a public location with Girt present if he in some foreign universe wanted to like, make amends/try to dispel any remaining bad energy, but I'd prefer that not happen. I'm not willing to "hang out" on a more personal level, that I know for sure.

Would you get back with your last ex if they asked you? HELL FUCKING NO

Are any of your friends virgins? Extremely unlikely.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions

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aspirationfail · 7 years

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DEXTER SMITH

Name: Dexter Quincy Smith Alias’: /

Nickname: Dex Age: 17 Gender: Male Species: Human

Social Class: Middle Class Birthdate: October 16, 1999 Time of birth: 2:30 pm Birthplace: Austin, Texas

Zodiac: Libra Nationality: Jamaican

Race: Black Occupation: College student Language(s): Patois, English, French Native tongue: English Religion: Christianity

MBTI: ESFJ

Alignment: Neutral Good — Education: High School Diploma (graduated a year early)

Major: Film & Photography

Minor: / Weapons/Offensive equipment: none Items/Defensive equipment/Misc: Chap stick, edge control, little go-to toothbrush (for them edgessss) phone, game boy color Money/Amount of: -Funds (On person): $26-$50 -Funds (In bank): $0 Transportation: Bus, Bike, Mom’s Car — Blood type: AB Height: 5'8 Weight: 179 Eye Color: Blue Hair: Dark Brown, 4c Skin: Dark chocolate, very soft and smooth. Figure/build: Skinny but in shape.

Voice: Here — Distinguishing marks: -Tattoo(s): None -Scars: None -Piercings: Ear -Clothing style: His style is all over the place but most of his clothes come from the thrift so they have a throwback feel to them. — Currently lives: Los Angeles, California Living Arrangements: He lives with his mom, stepdad, and his stepsister Klowbi Description of daily surroundings: Jamaican music playing throughout the home as the scent of home-cooked meals fill his home. — Hobbies: Photography, Editing, Skating Talents/Skills: extremely good at science, can slick tf outta his baby hairs, photographers eye Strengths: His hearing & vision Weaknesses: Probably his mentality — Love interest(s): Sol, Vincent Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

Are they Sexually Active: Kinda Love or Lust: Love

Dom or Sub: Switch

Love Type: Ludus — Left-handed or right?: Right

What does their writing look like?:

Diet: Lots of fruits & veggies, sometimes seafood. Virgin?: No Drinker?: Never tasted alcohol before Smoker?: Only when super stressed out Drug user?: Nope Other addictions?: None Pet peeves: Nail-biters.

Police/Criminal/Legal record: None Personal Hygiene: Pretty clean since he skates a lot. Introvert or Extrovert: Extrovert

What does your OC choose to do about the, er, hair down there?: literally nothing… Can they hold their breath for a long time?: Eh, for about 2 ½ minutes 5 songs that are probably on their iPod:

1. Say Goodbye To Love // Kenna

2. Murda She Wrote // Chaka Demus & Pliers

3. Didn’t Cha Know // Erykah Badu

4. Happy // N.E.R.D

5. Spend the Night/If You Were GF // Matt Martians — Basic description - Personality: Creative, very hyper, super outgoing, carefree Likes: Cameras, skating, teen titans go, memes, Jamaican music Dislikes: Culture Vultures, fake woke people, radio music, mistreated afros Motivations: His mother Morals: absolutely none Fears/Phobias: Bugs, heights Favourite food: Breakfast sandwich Favourite drink: Coke Favourite color: Orange Favourite movie: Scream Favourite sport: Basketball Favourite book: It Other favourites: old school Video games

Most used word or phrase: “ok but..” “lame.” — Family: -Parents: June Saint, Damien Smith -Siblings: Klowbi Saint (step-sister) -Other close relatives: Kalissa North (cousin) Friends: Vincent, Sol Roux, Artie Franco, Nico Romero, Vayle Romero, Pim, Kylo Rose Partner: None Offspring: None Enemies: None Pet(s): None Describe their social circle, what is their role within it?: He’s pretty popular at school so his circle is large since he is apart of drama and yearbook but he only really associates himself with his group. —

#doesnt he give u because the internet vibesssss #his baby hairsssss #i love my son #wow #iconic #also i have so many oc sheets #most of my new ocs are just like #background characters?#they don't have much of a purpose besides being a mutual or family of my main ocs #i'll probably make a list of all my main characters and background ones #oc:dexter #h:oc #char stuff #sims #ts3 #mine

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love-toxin · 3 years

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cw: injuries, yandere tohma, gn! reader

"so...how long do I have to play along with this little game of yours?"

the question spills out of his mouth without warning, yet each word is methodical, careful, like he's practiced it a thousand times before. the teapot clutched in your hands nearly slips out and shatters over the table you've laid out for the two of you, but the warmth of the porcelain fortunately keeps you steady enough until you can set it down in the space between you two. Tohma was kind enough to bring you a gift after spending awhile away, tending to his duties--so it's only natural that you would take him out for some tea in exchange. it's courtesy. it's expected.

but his question certainly is not.

"I...I have no idea what you're talking about, Tohma."

"really?"

he's sat cross-legged for some time now, waiting as you ordered the tea and offering you some idle chit-chat befitting a pair that haven't seen the other in a while. Tohma has always been your friend even when you were young, but as is custom in a place like Inazuma, your relationship has evolved throughout the years. there are things you can't say anymore, things that would ruin your life if you were caught doing them...and now, you fear, the glint in Tohma's eyes may be an omen that he's about to commit one of those unholy acts.

"come on now, sweetheart, everybody can see the truth for what it is. there's no need to hide it any longer."

he's purposely tiptoeing around the question, waiting for the pieces to click in your mind. he need not say anything at all, however--the way he looks at you in this moment, and the purpose with which he stands from his place at the tea table is enough to set your jaw tight and your eyes to darken.

"you know that I was always meant to be your husband. to be there for you through thick and thin, to care for you when we're both old and gray-"

he takes a few quick steps around it to get to you, to kneel at your side and reach out his hands to pull yours into them, and it's all you can do not to flinch away and risk the image of impropriety. but you've endured this lecture before, and the only thing screaming inside your head is for you to resist--just resist, don't listen to a word he says, and bite your tongue of any insult until he finally gives up and gets the hint.

"Tohma, stop."

"-to treasure you like no one else will. I understand your point of view, I really do--we're still young, and the world outside of Inazuma seems so big and grand...but you have to realize that the time to settle down is coming for us."

he rubs his thumb over your hand and smiles in your direction, but you can't meet his eyes. and then it's slipping out of your grasp and raising up to your face, and you feel yourself stiffen all over as Tohma gently cups your cheek, his gaze lowering towards your mouth as if he has an idea of what he wants to do. but that would be grounds for you to shriek for a guard, and you're entirely certain that that's the only reason he bites his lip to stave off the desire.

"you were always meant to be mine. you believe in fate, and you've always put your trust in me...so why not let me help you?"

that last part comes as a whisper, the tearoom private but the walls still thin. one of the many secrets you've entrusted to Tohma over the years is your disagreement with Inazuma's strict laws, as well as the etiquette that comes with being a member of the higher class. you've always despised being noble, and Tohma has always understood you, at least you thought so....but ever since he's gotten this ludicrous idea in his head, you've known even less peace than usual.

"I've said it a dozen times, Tohma, and I won't say it again. I'm not marrying you."

you do your best to spit the words out with as much venom as you can muster, yet you still feel the twinge of anxiety at snapping at him so informally. it could spell the end for you quite easily, but when your eyes are drawn back to Tohma's expression, all you can see is bliss written all over his face.

"...even laced with contempt, my name sounds so sweet on your lips. you've so much wit, so much grace, and your beauty leaves me breathless...I know how little you think of me, but-"

fury shoots through every vein of your body, and you know it's the wrong move when you slap his hand away from your face, the smack like a thunderclap in the small space of the little tearoom.

"enough, Tohma! enough. do yourself a favour and stop speaking to me--in fact, I dearly hope you never say a word to me again."

each finger on his hand twitches, only to close in a tight fist and sink back down to his lap. you try to avoid his gaze in this moment, but even turning your head away you can still feel his eyes staring right into your soul.

"you know I can't make that promise. you know that I love you."

that word makes you stiffen, your grip lock on your noble dressings, your blood turn to ice in your veins. you've avoided that for so long but it follows you like a demon, and it's eyes glow a verdant green as Tohma's words melt into your skin and eat you alive from the inside out.

"this feeling of yours....it's not mutual, Tohma. just leave it, and leave me."

you say so, but you're the one that stands from the tea table in the end, and Tohma jumps to get to his feet to follow you. he trails on your heels as you step with purpose towards the door and slide it open, the cool chill of Inazuma city in the night prickling your exposed skin. the blond hurries to get in front of you, and the moment you spot a few other citizens on the path this late at night, you tilt your head down and pray to the gods that Tohma won't force you into impropriety.

"...I see. you won't budge on this, then...I will have to accept that. but may I at least escort you home? I can't in good faith allow you to wander alone in the dark. I still care for you."

he looks down on you with a softness to his features, and you hate how easily you buckle under any sort of pressure from him. you prided yourself on not giving in before, but when you're not alone it's not nearly as easy--you have to piece your words so carefully together, and by the time you think of an excuse it will already be too late for you to reject his offer. so with as subtle of a huff as you can manage, you speak softly under your breath that you suppose that's fine, and grit your teeth as you thank him for the offer. and Tohma is all too relieved to stand beside you as you walk down the hill and leave the prying ears of the city, the silence near unbearable between you as you meander through the path cut down the middle of the farmer's fields.

"seems there's no one around. not a surprise for this time of the night."

it's not a terribly long walk back to your family's estate, but Tohma still evidently feels the need to speak up as you reach the end of the gently sloping hill. Konda village lies within sight in the distance, and you feel the tension weigh heavy on your heart as you count the steps closer and closer to safety. relative safety that is.

you're so focused on paying him as little attention as possible that you don't even take notice to his hand drawing closer to yours and his eyes wandering up and down your figure, practically salivating as the flames in his chest burn hotter and hotter, until the moment he can't take any more and he grabs you by the shoulders to stop you and force you to look him straight in the eyes.

"now, you're going to listen very closely. I'm going to give you a little gift, because I love you so very much. you get a minute's head start."

the shock catches you off guard to the point that you bite your own tongue, fear and panic shooting through you like icicles that make you freeze in place. Tohma's expression is so intense he nearly appears feral, pearly teeth glimmering in the light from the moon as he grins down at you like a predator examining their prey.

"here's the deal, sweetheart--if you can run all the way past Konda village, you win. but if I catch you, I win, and you must uphold your promise and marry me in a month's time. and if you win, you'll get your wish--I'll never speak a word to you again."

terror grips you even harder than Tohma is, and at his proposal you whip your head towards the village in the distance and then back to him. if he's seriously not making some kind of sick joke, then there's absolutely no way you would ever make it. you're not a fighter, you don't even know how to hold a sword much less have a vision, and you've seen the kinds of things Tohma is capable of....he'll catch you before you make it anywhere close.

"Tohma-"

his gaze lingers on you for a moment, before he turns you in the direction of the village and pushes you forward, only hard enough for you to stumble a bit. you want to question him, to try and talk him down from such an insane idea, but once you hear him start counting down aloud your feet move on their own and you take off in a pitiful run down towards your target. the night air whips by your face as you try to sprint as best you can, yet your robes that give away your nobility get caught on your sandals and trip you up enough that it makes your heart jump into your throat. your heart pounds in a cage that feels too tight, the air heavy and raw in your lungs the longer you fumble your way forwards in the night. even your tears feel cold as they stream down your face, and if speaking wouldn't expend your precious energy then you would surely be wailing for Tohma to stop, please, he's scaring you. especially once you hear his footsteps take off, and it feels as though his warm breath is right on the back of your neck.

but even so, you look up within moments to find yourself in the middle of the quiet little village, the lanterns dim and only the glow of the moon casting light on the humble little buildings. the panic ceases but resurges just as quickly when you remember that you're not safe yet, that the entrance to the village is still a few hundred metres away--and you can hear Tohma panting now, at a distance close enough that he'll make a grab for you long before you'll ever get there. but there's something you know that he probably doesn't remember, and it might just be your saving grace as you duck into the shadows and skirt around the mayor's house just as he skids into the path of the village. you fear in the pit of your stomach that getting the top off the well that you used to play near as children would make a great deal of noise, but you hurry forward and find it open--and just as you swing a leg over to climb inside and pray that Tohma doesn't think to look for you here, your foot slips on the stone that's still damp from the rain and your world is overturned as you fall through the air. it's not far enough that you can scream or grab for purchase on something, but when you land you hear the sickening crack of something breaking and pain that shoots through your leg so quick that it almost makes you black out.

but something worse is yet to come, and it's Tohma's voice calling out your name, before you look up to the sky and your heart just sinks as you watch his face pop into view over the side of the well.

"oh, archons--baby, are you all right?! did you hurt yourself?"

he hops over the edge quite easily and falls steady on his feat, not even having broken a sweat from chasing you as he hurries to your side and props you up in the crook of his arm. and despite still feeling that twinge of discomfort and panic from him touching you, the agony sets in so deeply that you cling to him without realizing as tears pour down your face and you struggle to breathe.

"let me see...yeah, that's definitely broken. c'mere, I'll help you up.."

just brushing the pads of his fingers over the rapidly-swelling skin of your calf makes you flinch and cry out with pain, and it's obvious by the deep bruising how bad you've hurt it--you wouldn't be able to climb out of here if you tried. but Tohma finds so little trouble in heaving you up into his arms that it's laughable....it would be funny how sincerely you thought you could get away in the first place, if you weren't experiencing the consequences now. and only now is it starting to sink in that you lost, even though he isn't rubbing it in your face. yet.

"poor thing--that was scary, wasn't it? aren't you glad I was here?"

despite how despairing you look, he rubs his cheek against yours as he holds you tight. you realize now how much he's always wanted to do this, and how he's dragging this all out while he has the chance to do it without anyone watching....it's such a rare opportunity, but you don't feel nearly as lucky as he does.

"I'll always be here, sweetie....in sickness and in health, right?"

he murmurs into the shell of your ear, before pressing a kiss to it right afterwards as he reaches out to get a foothold so he can lift you out of here. all you can think about now is how your chance of escaping him has slipped away....and now, your status is a death sentence in the hands of the man who saved your life, and will ask for nothing in return but your gentle hand in marriage. how romantic.

#tohma #tohma x reader #tohma genshin impact #thoma x reader #thoma genshin #genshin impact #yandere tohma #yandere thoma #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin x reader

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chibimyumi · 4 years

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Silly question, but regarding the whole thing with Sebastian's offer to bring R!Ciel back from the dead, how would that even have worked? Sebastian is manipulative, sure, but I don't think even he's capable maintaining that ruse indefinitely, especially once multiple people get involved, and it's not like he can hypnotize people. What do you think- would the demon have just shapeshifted into the dead earl, or are we looking at some kind of morbidly hilarious Weekend At Bernie's situation here?

【Response to: Will UT use Bizarre Phantomhive Dolls to lure O!Ciel?】

Dear Anon,

It is not a silly question at all! But the answer is very simple; Sebas wouldn’t have to do anything as long as his master does not manage to bind him completely and effectively. It is a bit similar to what I have written before in this post about what Sebas would do if somebody asked for teleportation or mind-reading powers. We’re dealing with this ⇊ piece of Trash™, after all.

Now, let us look at how everything would have worked in practice depending on how the contract was discussed.

The Importance of Phrasing

First of all, the execution of a term about reviving the dead would depend entirely on how the order is phrased. Whether Sebas can lie or not does not matter one bit.

With important contracts and laws, it is of paramount importance that no loopholes and freedom to interpretation are left. And yet, if we pay attention to chapter 138, nowhere do Sebas and O!Ciel discuss how the contract terms need to be phrased exactly. From this, we can tell that in this universe, law is that the way terms are phrased is in great part dependent on how the demon likes it. Demons are free to paraphrase term demands.

By not diverting from O!Ciel’s specific demands, Sebas was actually already being “fairly kind”. During the signing for example, O!Ciel said: “you must never lie to me,” but then he also added that “all my questions shall be answered truthfully from now on.”** (this is my translation from the original Japanese. Will explain at the bottom of this post.) If Sebas really wanted to, the first term could also have been:

This would have meant that as long as Sebas is not ANSWERING a question, he could still lie. So if a later wish O!Ciel makes revolves around reviving his dead family, it’d not be a question, so Sebas could still lie and say he agrees to the term... and then just not carry it out.

Now, what would have happened if O!Ciel did manage to effectively seal off the demon’s lies like he did in the manga, and he asked for the revival of his family?

As demonstrated, the way contract terms are phrased are in much control of Sebas. So if O!Ciel asks: “Revive my dead family”, Sebas could easily turn it into: “reunite the contractee with his deceased family.” And as you can see, whether Sebas’ lies are sealed first or second wouldn’t matter one bit, because paraphrasing is not necessarily lying, after all.

In this case, O!Ciel would truly, truly, truly be screwed, because then he’d sign a contract term that ‘legally’ allows Sebas to kill him. That’s the easiest way to “reunite” the Phantomhives, after all. As I wrote before in the post linked above: “As long as there is no clause in the contract that makes Sebas prevent AND forbid his master from being exposed to danger,” Sebas is free to “reunite” O!Ciel with his dead family.

In this sense the Sebastian roleplayer @akumadeshitsumon was very right in this reply about the shortest contract term lasting mere seconds, as we now fully understand how powerful Sebas can be just because he’s so eloquent.

Now you may ask, what IF there is a clause similar to term three?

Even so it would not matter too much to Sebas as long as the hypothetical second term is phrased as “reunite the contractee with his deceased family”, and signed. The steps would look as follows then:

Term 1: “Do not lie to contractee” ➡ Lies or no lies don’t matter as long as paraphrasing is possible within magic law.

Term 2: “Reunite the contractee with deceased family members” ➡ Signed contract term to obey.

Term 3: “Do not betray, but protect the contractee” ➡ Because contract term 2 is valid and agreed upon mutually, fulfilling this term would not be “betraying”. And what “dangers” you protect someone from is subjective. One could interpret “protect contractee” as “protecting the contractee from not getting his second deal fulfilled”, or “from solitude of NOT being reunited with his beloved family”.

Conclusion

So, to conclude, as canonically demonstrated, a demon has quite a lot of power in manipulating the contract since they have the ability to paraphrase contract terms. Regardless of whether Sebas can lie or not, as long as the contract-terms are phrased and agreed upon in a way that allows Sebas enough wriggle room, this demon could hypothetically end his end of the contract within seconds, never having to break a single sweat.

I hope this helped and had been interesting! (*´ ｀*)ノ⁾⁾⁾

Bonus Translator’s note:

** I re-translated this myself for this because I am being a pedantic arse. The phrasing in the official English translation would have been disastrous😱 for O!Ciel if contract term 1 really became: “from now on you are only allowed to answer my questions truthfully [as service within the contract]”.

That would have meant that besides answering questions, Sebas can’t do ANYTHING for his master. Not fight, not protect, not cook XD And also not sign contract numbers 2 and 3! (By adding “as service within the contract” Sebas could then easily do anything else he pleases as long as it’s not ‘service’.)

Look, don’t get me wrong! 99% of the time the official English translators probably do a marvelous job, and it is a difficult job too. It’s just that in very specific cases wherein Yana purposely chose words VERY carefully because she understands Sebas fully, the official English translations can end up undoing the result of Yana’s carefulness a bit. (Then again... I wonder how many people actually read as carefully as Yana had hoped...)

#Kuroshitsuji #Contract term #Sebastian Michaelis #Revive the dead #Bizarre Dolls #Lies #Lying #That demon - pedantic trash #Trash demon #Pedantic

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ri-ahhh · 4 years

Note

Ooooh but like what if it's gray getting jealous and a teeny but insecure too when MJ mentions some of her work mates and other close guy friends w whom she hangs out and drinks and parties yk?And when he finally meets them he might not be able to get some inside jokes or be pissy on how touchy one of her guy bffs is?!And just goes like"baby am I too young for you?"🥺maybe some cute fluff and hot makeup sex?? ;p Sorry if this too much or straight up lame It's cool if you don't wanna concept this

Ok, first of all, I love this. Second, this is my first MJ concept and I’m soft af🥺

If there’s one personality trait Grayson Dolan wouldn't normally attribute to himself, it’s that of being easily jealous. Why would he be? His life, despite it’s occasional heavy downs, is relatively picturesque in the grand scheme of things. He’s got a loving family, an amazing career, a beautiful girlfriend, and he’s narcissistic enough to proudly say he’s a good-looking dude.

But the little green monster first starts to stir in chest when said beautiful girlfriend lays back on his chest one morning, scrolling through Instagram while the two of them laze in bed. MJ is looking through the pictures she had been tagged in at a company dinner the night before, double-tapping her phone screen occasionally and diverting his attention away from his own phone when she does.

“Who’s that?” he asks, trying to sound as casual as possible as he eyes a certain picture with slightly narrowed eyes.

“Hm?” MJ had already scrolled down to the next photo, but she goes back to the one in question. Grayson points to the guy standing next to her. “Oh. That’s Jesse. He’s one of my teammates.”

Grayson doesn't respond right away, his gaze focused on the way the attractive young man has his arm wrapped tightly around MJ’s waist in the group photo. MJ is leaning away from him, but it still gives him a bad vibe — not from her, but from him.

“He looks friendly.”

MJ glances up at him and slaps the other side of his bare chest with the back of her hand jokingly. “Relax, we all had to squeeze in to get the picture. He’s just a colleague.”

“Yeah, to you,” Grayson mumbles. He tosses down his phone and turns on his side so he can throw his arm over her middle, nuzzling into her hair.

MJ smiles and scratches her nails up and down his sculpted arm, his warm breath tickling her ear. He’s not really the possessive type, too confident in himself and trustworthy in her for this to have ever been an issue in their relationship, but her work world is one entirely separate from him. She doesn’t think it’s too irrational for him to be suspicious, especially since she can admit feeling a little iffy about the way Jesse had so easily sidled up to her for that photo.

She shifts her head on the pillow so she’s facing him, kissing his lips softly but soundly. It’s an unspoken reassurance between them, and they both let the topic go.

A few days later, they’re in the kitchen together, a pass only she is allowed while Grayson cooks. MJ sits on the island, her feet dangling over the cabinets as Grayson stirs the vegetables he’s sautéing on the stove, when her phone buzzes on the marble countertop beside her. She picks it up and chuckles, her manicured fingers typing away.

“What’s so funny?” Grayson asks nosily.

MJ hits ‘send’ in the text response she wrote. “Jesse sent a stupid meme that reminded him of this super difficult exec we have to deal with for one of our clients.” She holds up her phone so Grayson can see it, but without the further context he doesn’t really see the humor in it. It causes a weird sensation to bubble in his stomach, one he can’t quite place, but it definitely makes him give the veggies an extra vigorous stir that has some of them flying out of the pan on accident.

He draws the line on this guy in his head when MJ sends him a text the next afternoon while he’s in a Wakeheart meeting downtown, just a few blocks from her office.

ugh baby i’m so sorry i have to cancel our lunch date :/ jesse wants to keep working on this report we have due this afternoon and i’ll look like a dick if i leave.

Grayson huffs and feels the back of his neck flush with anger. Why is Jesse controlling whether or not she can take her lunch break? She has a habit of skipping it to begin with, which Grayson can’t stand and actively tries to make sure she doesn’t do, so his irritation with this dude is through the roof now. His mind can’t help but wander to the possibility that maybe Jesse is doing it on purpose; he knows for a fact all of her coworkers know about him, so who’s to say he’s not trying to keep her to himself today? Before he can type out a heated response, however, MJ double-texts.

i promise I’ll make it up to you tonight. whatever you want, on me. literally and figuratively ;)

She knows him too well, can probably sense his frustration a few streets away. Grayson sighs, but his mouth lifts in a little smile, because he loves her and he’s low-key looking forward to that promise now.

Alright. I’ll be thinking about that to get me through this meeting. Pls eat tho baby, it makes me worry when you don’t.

me too lol. and gonna order some kreation now, don’t worry. ily

She punctuates her message with a few heart emojis, and Grayson returns the sentiment before pocketing his phone once more. His mind is far from the financial projections he’s supposed to be paying attention to, but luckily this is much more Ethan’s territory in the business than his, anyways.

Friday, he and MJ are cuddling on the couch watching a movie when out of nowhere she gasps a little and sits up from where she’s leaning on him. “Oh, I almost forgot to ask. You and E doing anything tomorrow?”

Grayson chuckles and shakes his head, amused by the suddenness of her question. He pushes a lock of her hair, damp from their shared shower, behind her ear. “Not that I know of, other than we might go to the skatepark.”

MJ grins. “Well, my boss is making us do our monthly team-building workshop at a climbing gym, if you want to tag along. I don’t think you’ll be able to join us during the middle of it, obviously, but afterwards it would give you the chance to meet some of the people I work with, if you want.”

He considers it. He hasn’t been climbing in a while, and he’s actually been itching to get back into it. Not to mention, it’ll give him a chance to keep an eye on Jesse while he’s around MJ in the skin-tight lycra she wears to work out in.

“Yeah, I’m down. I’ll ask E if he wants to come, too.”

The next day, the three of them roll up to the gym in Ethan’s Tesla. Grayson wastes no time in taking MJ’s hand in his as they walk through the parking lot, just in case a certain set of eyes are watching. MJ squeezes his fingers reassuringly; she’s not dumb, not impervious to the fact that when he kisses her goodbye once they step inside and before they go their separate ways that he had caught a glimpse of the man from the picture that put his guard up to begin with.

When he pulls back but makes no move to join Ethan on the other side of the gym, MJ shakes her head with a grin and cups his cheek softly.

“No need to stake your claim, Neanderthal,” she says.

He looks down at her with a pout that makes her heart and her panties melt. His wide hands plant themselves on her hips and tug her a little closer to him, anyways. “Am I being obvious?” he asks.

“Only to me,” she winks, rising on her toes to give him one more chaste kiss. “Now go with E, before Chanel gets here and I have to reverse the roles.”

Grayson laughs but does as he’s told, giving her waist a gentle squeeze before they part ways. MJ’s company had rented half of the gym, which was roped off for them. He chooses the open wall closest to the one they're using, eager to keep his girlfriend as nearby as possible for the couple of hours they would be separated.

As he sits on a bench and slips on his climbing shoes, Grayson can’t help but search out where Jesse is. He’s easy to spot, that’s for sure. Not only is he already next to MJ, chatting animatedly while she smiles and nods politely in return, but he stands out with his curly mop of hair, caramel-colored skin, and pale blue eyes. Maybe his attractiveness is part of the reason Grayson is somewhat intimidated by his obvious interest in MJ, but he’s also part of her everyday life, one he knows nothing about other than what she shares with him.

It’s never been something that bothers him, because it’s healthy to have a life outside of a relationship, but he’s always dated — hooked up, whatever you want to call it — in his industry. There was always a mutual understanding of what work and life in general entailed with those flings, and it’s taken Jesse for him to suddenly realize he doesn’t have the experience or the knowledge of how to handle his feelings with that not being the case with MJ. It makes him feel out of control, not good enough somehow.

Grayson Dolan does not like to be out of control and he most certainly does not like being below his own standards.

“Who’s that?”

Grayson is brought out of his daze by his brother’s voice and the hand he had clapped to his shoulder. If he were able to laugh at himself in this moment, he might have found Ethan’s question funny, since it was exactly what he’d said when he first saw Jesse, too. Ethan’s gaze is fixed on MJ and the man in question, who had placed his hand on her elbow as he talked only for MJ to duck down to ‘tie her shoe.’

“Jesse,” is all he says, standing up to buckle his chalk belt around his waist.

“Oh,” Ethan replies, nodding his head a little. “Do we like him?”

“Nope.”

“Cool.”

Ethan becomes another set of eyes for Grayson while they climb, giving him nudges or a little whistle every time he catches Jesse standing a little too close to MJ, or finding a reason to touch her, or to ‘help’ her as she climbs up the wall. Grayson glowers over every time, trying his best but probably failing to not to come off as the jealous boyfriend. Every once in a while MJ will catch his eyes, giving him a quick wave or a thumbs-up with a pretty smile just for him. It makes his heart settle some, only for his chest to tighten again when Jesse starts cheering for her a little too loud.

The two hours pass by a little faster as he settles into the rhythm of climbing, trying to put her touchy coworker in the back of his mind. He trusts MJ with everything in him, but he knows how men can be — ignorant either by choice or by idiocy to a woman’s obvious signals of disinterest.

“Gray!”

He’s just reached the top of the wall when his girlfriend’s voice cuts clear through the loud chatter around them. He looks down and sees her on the mat, hair pulled back in a cute high ponytail, freckled cheeks flushed from the exertion of the day, as she waves him down with that same bright smile.

He grins, excited to have her to himself once again. “One sec!”

Once he’s made it back down the wall, he greets her with a kiss. She’s tied her jacket around her waist, leaving her top half covered only by a pretty green sports bra that happens to be both his favorite color and one that makes her eyes pop beautifully.

“I like this,” he says suggestively, hooking his finger in one of the straps and tugging gently.

MJ rolls her eyes and reaches up to adjust the center of the Wakeheart cap he’s got backwards over his hair. “Come on. You can meet the idiots I have to put up with every day.”

She leads him to the group, who are all standing around chatting, gulping down water, gathering keys and such as they prepare to leave. He gets introduced to them a couple at a time. Some of them he recognizes by name, such as Valentina and Jude (both of whom MJ actually likes and considers friends), MJ’s intern Alessia, and Chanel, of course, who bats her eyes so obnoxiously it’s almost comical.

And then there’s Jesse, who’s immediately sizing Grayson up with those striking eyes as soon as they approach him standing in the corner on his phone. Grayson doesn’t back down in the slightest, a smirk fixing itself on his lips when MJ leans into him and wraps her arm around his back. He drapes his own over her shoulders, pulling her that much closer to him.

“Hey Jess. This is the famous boyfriend I’ve told you all about,” she introduces, patting a hand on his hard stomach and smiling up at him for a moment.

Grayson lets go of MJ long enough to extend his hand. “Grayson.”

Jesse accepts and shakes his hand politely. “Jesse. MJ and I are teammates.”

“So I’ve heard,” he says, keeping a tight smile on his face as Jesse continues to square up to him, like Grayson has posed some kind of challenge.

Jesse nods, a grin of his own popping up as he gets the idea that MJ has maybe talked about him before. Grayson wants to roll his eyes, but he stays trying to be the bigger person here.

“So what do you do, Grayson?” Jesse asks.

Another hot flash overcomes him. He’s heard the question often enough to know there are two ways people ask it: innocently and genuinely; or knowingly and almost maliciously, like Jesse is now, waiting for him to say the ‘i’ word and berate him for it passive-aggressively.

MJ tightens her arm around him some, and it calms him down enough to answer with an even tone. “I do social media.”

“That’s just the tip of the iceberg, though,” MJ steps in for him with a grin. “He and his brother have a whole production team under them. And they're CEO’s and part-owners of a fragrance company, Wakeheart. I think I’ve told you, whenever you compliment my perfume, that it’s Grayson’s, right?”

She’s incredible, really. Grayson smiles and shows off the diamonds in his teeth, which glint in the harsh artificial light. “Well, Jesse, if you like MJ’s perfume so much, I’d be glad to send you our whole collection. Maybe you’ll find one that’s right for you.”

He can see Jesse’s resolve start to waver, especially when MJ stands on her toes to kiss Grayson’s stubbled cheek. “Very generous, huh Jesse?”

Jesse clears his throat and digs his keys out of his pocket tellingly. “Ah, yeah. Thanks, man, good to meet you. See you Monday, MJ.”

He brushes past the couple without another glance, and he at least has the decency to blush a little from embarrassment. MJ turns and wraps her arms around Grayson’s middle, staring up at him with big green eyes that sparkle with amusement.

“Do you think he got the picture that I’m completely, totally, head over heels in love with you?” she asks, swaying slightly as he wraps his arms around her as well. “And that he has no chance in this universe whatsoever?”

“I don’t know, I feel like you could’ve laid it on a little thicker. Hyped me up a bit more,” Grayson jokes, dipping down to brush her lips with his. A blonde statue glares at the pair of them when he pulls back and glances over MJ’s head. “Chanel is staring daggers at us. Should we make out right here so she can see how I feel the same about you?”

MJ giggles and shakes her head. “Unfortunately, nothing will faze that bitch.” She nuzzles his nose with hers affectionately, the chaste display a perfect disguise for the dirty whispers that comes out of her mouth next. “Mm, my CEO boyfriend can take me home, though, and fuck me nice and hard in the shower.”

Grayson’s eyes turn a shade darker, and he bites his plump lower lip. He wants to slip his hands down to her ass, but he’s also very aware of how public they are right now. “If we even make it to the shower,” he murmurs.

MJ scrunches her nose and raises her brow in a look of mild disgust. “Gray, if you think I’m sucking your dick after it’s been in a cup for nearly three hours, without you taking a shower, you better think again. I don’t think even Chanel is down for that.”

Grayson lets out a belly laugh and releases her, taking her by the hand instead to go find Ethan. “Noted, baby. Noted.”

#no smut but #might post some tomorrow👀#thank u again bb for sending this in it means a lot❤️#dolan twins #grayson dolan #grayson mj #grayson mj blurb #blurb #g blurb

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saskaykun · 4 years

Text

Taka’s members’ bond with Sasuke. (For Taka team’s stans, this one’s for you.)

I don't think there's any point in introducing the Taka team again.

But as today's point is to prove the link as a point of complementarity with Sasuke. I'm going to take a look at the personal lives of each of them.

Ps: sorry for the typos, english is not my mother tongue.

SUIGETSU:

We are going to start with Suigetsu, like Sasuke, Suigetsu had a big brother, pretty strong and skilled because Mangetsu was the only one of the 7 swordsmen of the mist to master the 7 swords of Kiri. Suigetsu's dream was to become as strong as his big brother to enter the 7 swordsmen assassins club, whom he admired a lot, but Mangetsu died rather prematurely while protecting his little brother Suigetsu. Suigetsu trained hard to barely match half of his big brother's sword skills. He also comes from a known clan from the village of Kiri, the clan Hozūki, and owns a Kekkei Genkai, which allows him to liquefy his body from flesh to water. Pretty handy for a swordsman, isn't it? No blade can pierce his body. That's also why Orochimaru was interested in him and kept him prisoner in his laboratories for so many years. Doesn't that remind you of Sasuke? The story of the big brother to be surpassed in abilities, even though he was so admired by the little one? Sasuke had to kill Itachi because he had to avenge his clan, Suigetsu had to become much better than Mangetsu because he promised him before Mangetsu died, that he would take back the title of "Kijin no Sairai" - "the second coming of the demon" (as far as my translation is concerned), so he got it into his head to collect all the swords from Kiri village, in order to take back his brother's inheritance. It's rather cute when you think about it. Suigetsu, in spite of appearances, is not a deeply evil person even if he spent most of his life training to become an assassin. Of all the times he made fun of Karin for her feelings towards Sasuke and Karin hit him, he never twisted back once. Suigetsu doesn't have a family anymore, like Sasuke, he's the last survivor of his clan. Moreover, I wanted to add that Suigetsu, sometimes appears like a coward but is actually very competent, and he is certainly a better swordsman than Sasuke. At the same age, (at 16 years old) Suigetsu had already done 2 - D rank missions, 33 - C rank missions - 40 - B rank missions, 13 - A rank missions and finally 4 - S rank missions originally reserved for jônin, can he be considered as such?

KARIN:

What do we know about Karin?

At first, not much is said, except that she is a very competent sensory ninja, that Sasuke, with Suigetsu came personally to look for. He chose her, among many other competent ninjas. He acknowledged her as the best in her field. That's a canon fact.

Another true thing, Sasuke, who came personally to pick her up, confessed that he needed her to reach his goal.

"I need you, Karin", really happened.

He wasn't forced to do it, on the contrary, Suigetsu, who wasn't a big fan of Karin, spent his time dissuading Sasuke from going to pick her up and take her on the team, but Sasuke insisted.

They saved each other's lives several times. Karin healed him with her "Heal Bite" and he during their fight against Killer Bee, awakened a new power from his Mangekyō Sharingan: Kagutsuchi. He was able to extinguish the flames of the Amaterasu that had touched Karin. His face, scared of losing his teammate, proves how much Sasuke cares about his Taka teammates but especially about Karin. After I will not go on betting that he cares about her, romantically or just friendly because that's not the point and nothing in the manga proves that he did it romantically or kindly, I just want to emphasize this point: he was willing to die, and put Juugo's and Suigetsu's lives in danger in order to save Karin.

We learn a little more about Karin, during the Edotensei scene with Itachi and Sasuke against Kabuto. Kabuto then talks about Taka team members and reveals to Sasuke that Karin is indeed part of the Uzumaki clan, like Naruto, and that's why she has a huge chakra cluster. She regenerates quickly her own wounds but she can help others to regenerate and heal themselves by sharing her chakra, by biting her because it's the fastest way: in fact, the injured person drinks Karin's chakra and regenerates herself/himself in a few moments.

Besides the fact that Karin was used by Sasuke to locate Itachi through her powerful chakra and to warn him of his possible enemies, and of course to heal him in case he would be seriously wounded, she is not an exceptional ninja in combat, she must even very often be saved either by Sasuke or by Suigetsu. Sasuke knew that very well. He was never shocked that Karin might be a weight for them in their adventures. He chose her by himself, nobody forced Karin to be there and decided to protect her.

The scene where Sasuke "sacrifices" Karin to kill Danzō is totally a scene to be taken with extenuating circumstances. Sasuke finally being in front of the person who ruined his life, who ordered the massacre of the Uchiha clan, he couldn't do otherwise, he was forced by all means to kill him. Karin being in his field of action because she wanted to help him, was also pierced by Sasuke's chidori blade. Don't forget though, that he didn't really sacrifice her because she didn't die, since he didn't aim at Karin's vital points.

I still want to thank Sakura for helping Karin with her medical ninjutsu, she is still part of Karin's healing process, without Sakura's intervention, she might have had a hard time healing this time.

I also wanted to point out, on the scene following Karin's famous "sacrifice":

Karin thus finds herself on the ground, dying slowly, Obito then proposes to Sasuke to finish her off, properly because she knows too much about their plan. Sasuke doesn't even take the time to answer him. During this scene, Sasuke takes an exceptional time to load his chidori, giving Team 7 time to arrive on the scene, another proof that deep down he really didn't want to kill her. It is finally on Sakura that Sasuke decides to use his chidori, and not on Karin. Karin then dissuades him... but Sakura is really not far from being killed this time by Sasuke.

This scene is powerful, but it shows the total disinterest of Team 7 in the eyes of Sasuke, at least the disinterest he has in Sakura's life. Sakura being a burden, and considering her as the enemy, had to be eliminated as soon as possible. He was also never afraid to confront Kakashi. The only one for which he has doubts, a certain apprehension that he tries indirectly to hide, remains definitely for Naruto, but again, he does not hesitate to threaten him if Naruto still chases after him.

To finish with Karin, she is part of the Uzumaki clan, one of the oldest clans in the Shinobi world, and derived from the Senju clan, there are not many members of the clan left, at least to our knowledge except Karin, Naruto and Nagato. At the end of the war, only Karin and Naruto remain. She shares this fact with Sasuke. She also had lost her entire family during the previous war, her mother was used for medical purposes, literally having her chakra sucked until her death. She became an orphan at a very young age, left to live on her own, abused by others until she met Orochimaru. She has no one left.When she meets Sasuke, she falls in love with him for his beauty, he is pretty handsome, but as a sensory ninja, she found that he has a beautiful and attractive chakra, she realized right away that Sasuke is not as bad as he pretends to be. She took a close interest in him, and I think the interest was mutual.

JŪGO:

Jūgo, is certainly the only member where we are poorly with information about him.

Jūgo is a deeply kind and loving boy but is possessed by a heavy weight that overwhelms him: the cursed seal. He is the first holder of the cursed seal, it is with his DNA that Orochimaru started his experiments. The poor man, being unable to control his murderous impulses, preferred to die rather than to leave his cell when Sasuke, Suigetsu and Karin came to get him. Sasuke promised to hold him, Jūgo, usually not confident, agrees to come with them because Kimimaro had acknowledged Sasuke. Jūgo, in addition to his incredible physical strength when possessed by the cursed seal, is able to communicate with the birds. Sasuke uses Jūgo through this ability so that his birds can locate the Akatsukis' hideout and that he can create a map from the information transmitted by these birds. Also, Jūgo is an orphan, and since Kimimaro died, he was literally alone in the world. He has no known family, and his affiliation to a particular clan is unknown. Another peculiarity that Sasuke shares with his teammates.

I consider Jūgo as Sasuke/Suigetsu/Karin’s big brother. He took care of them. There also is a scene where he puts Sasuke in his futon after having treated him and bandaged him, because Sasuke had fallen asleep sitting, from exhaustion.

This boy is soooooo cute and gentle. His bipolar side contrasts enormously. His murderous personality with his soft and wise side.

Well, Sasuke's plan was perfect and well thought out.

To answer the question I was asked, "What do they do as Team Taka, besides help Sasuke enter into darkness?"

I, for one, don't hold Team Taka members responsible for Sasuke's entry into the darkness. Far from it. Sasuke was motivated by his hatred for killing Itachi, and after the final battle with his brother, motivated by revenge for those who led to his downfall. Don't get me wrong, I always feel that when it comes to Sasuke, the people who interact with him are responsible for his actions. No, Sasuke most certainly suffers from PTSD, living in unresolved grief since the death of his family, in hatred and constant pain, doesn't need anyone to think for him. He's an intelligent boy, he knows his purpose, he knows he would sacrifice himself to restore honor to those he has lost. His goal was just that. I sincerely think that deep down Sasuke wanted to change the Shinobi world, build new foundations, and achieve peace, so that what he experienced would never happen again, but it was a kind of pipe dream because he really thought he would die in his next confrontation with Naruto. He expected no less.

It really pisses me off that people think that Sasuke is acting according to the actions of others. I don't remember hearing Suigetsu, Karin or Jugo suggest a plan of action to kill someone or do something. He was the leader of this team. The others were acting on his behalf and not the other way around. He was the one who came to find them, he was the one who surrounded himself with these shinobis to help him achieve his goal. You let yourself be influenced by Naruto “talk no jutsu” in Gaiden who dares to tell the Taka team to mind their own business when he himself spent years to mind Sasuke's business, without even understanding the reason for his actions.

Gaiden makes the Taka team look like the villains who helped Sasuke carry out the actions of his hatred, but look closer, they did nothing so exceptional except help him find Itachi and obey Akatsuki's orders to attack Killer B.

It even seems to me that the Taka team were, in the end, the only ones who listened sincerely to Sasuke, to meet his expectations, to try to understand him.

A non-canon fact unfortunately, in a novel about Sasuke, after Itachi's death, Sasuke makes a kind of pilgrimage to learn more about his brother, during his Akatsuki period, and then meets two brothers, who were preparing drops for Itachi's eyes, and they make him think about him and Itachi when they were kids. ... I'm going to skip over the real story of this novel, although it's very well written for a non-canon novel, and we find Sasuke on his scene, by the sea, where he desperately lets go of all his pain in a torrent of tears, and decides to rename Hebi team into Taka team.

Karin, Suigetsu and Jugo were present during one of the worst moments of Sasuke's life: Itachi's death and thus the mourning of his older brother.

In spite of Itachi's terrible actions and choices to raise Sasuke's power, Sasuke still considers him as his beloved older brother who sacrificed himself for a village that never gave them the chance to live, properly...

Again, as I already said in another post, I truly think that all the people close to Sasuke tried to control his choices and his life, without asking his opinion.

Itachi made it clear that he tried to trace Sasuke's life from his childhood to what he became and finally disappointed to have failed... but what the hell did he expect?

Naruto, who absolutely wants Sasuke to go back to Konoha, but why? He knew very well that the people in Konoha would bully him for his actions, when he was already bullied enough to be an Uchiha in Konoha. So Naruto claims to know what's best for Sasuke. What?!

Sakura... is Sakura.

Kakashi and Jiraya tried to dissuade Sakura and Naruto from desperately pursuing a guy who clearly wanted to get the hell out of this village: Sasuke is not worth it.

Decidedly, Sasuke doesn't get much grace from people. Between those who think he's a sulky, who always makes moods because he has some problems in his life and those who judge him without knowing a second of his existence and his journey, he's really badly surrounded.

The Taka team is the only one that hasn't gone into the details and is following Sasuke, even before he decides to explain to them the reasons for this gathering.

I like their complicity. I like their dynamics. They help each other.

Team Taka is the one that Sasuke chose on his own, Team 7 is the one that was imposed on him. Don't forget that.

At least, I didn’t even use your post, but thank you again @justsasuke ! It was kind of you :)

Ps: I found this pic very cute. They are all awesome.

#team taka meta #karin #suigetsu #juugo #sasuke #taka #team taka

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cutietobio · 5 years

Note

Hey, I just discovered your tumblr and I really love it. I spent a great time reading a lot of your Imagines. Thank you for all this! And I have a request if you don't mind? I'd like to know who are your favorite characters and what are your headcanons about them (be it sfw or nsfw, I can read anything, just tell us what cross your mind)? And if they aren't your favs, would you mind adding Kuroo, Tsukishima, Nishinoya and Oikawa in the list? I really wanna know your hc about them as well. Ty!

Thank you so much for the support, anon! I’m so glad that you like my writings. Also, if I had to make headcanons about my favs, I would be making headcanons for every character, besides maybe Atsumu lmao. So, I’ll be doing headcanons for your requested characters and add in one of my all-time favourite characters that I would date in a heartbeat, Kyoutani :’)

KUROO

- I can imagine both of you being the party couple in college, throwing the best damn house parties that practically become famous on campus. Both of you are pretty popular, managing to maintain difficult majors all the while getting wasted almost every weekend. During these parties, you’re setting yourselves both up as Kenma’s wingmen. He has no escape from either of you as you point out various people he may like. “Oooh, look. She’s wearing a Dark Souls t-shirt, should I tell her you’re interested?” He tries to sneak away when you’re both occupied but hunting him down is just so easy that he’s actually frightened by your ability to do so.

- You’re definitely there cheering him on during volleyball practice, basically shouting out shameless praises that would make any normal person flustered. Not Kuroo, it just turns him on more and he ditches practice early to fuck you in the boy's shower rooms. This is actually a common occurrence, and the one time ya’ll went at it while almost every shower was occupied.

TSUKISHIMA

- I can totally see Kei as one of those boyfriends who rolls his eyes when you have ‘tea’ to spill but he’s highkey so into gossiping that the both of you can go on for hours just talking about such irrelevant topics regarding anything from celebrities, opinions and classmates. Your conversations are never dull, and since Kei is so smart, he usually helps you to form better-insighted opinions on various things and you feel better equipped if anyone wants to try you with their bullshit facts. You would send him a message telling him you have tea to spill and he’d immediately reply with “spill it.”

- When it comes to nsfw, idk why but mutual masturbation comes to mind when I think about Kei. I sense him as the type of person to find it really hot watching you touch yourself and demand you to do different things to your body because he loves the feeling of being in control when he isn’t even touching you. And just when you’re reaching your high, he tells you to stop. You’d better listen to him because I see him as the type of person to serve ‘punishments’ if you don’t.

NISHINOYA

- Your life with Noya would be so adventurous, anybody would get lowkey jealous. The two of you are almost never in Japan, deciding to travel the world straight after high school (don’t ask me where you got the funds just accept this gracious gift). You’d go zip-lining in Costa Rica, visit the Kruger National Park in South Africa and go scuba diving in Australia. And so much more! You’d definitely have that map where you scratch out all the countries you’ve been to and hang it up as a staple piece in your house once the two of you settle down to focus on careers and family matters. There’s barely any countries left unscratched, and those that are still blocked out will be visited with your future children one day :’)

- Sex with Nishinoya is pretty goofy, loud and just hot altogether. He would crack a few jokes, make fun of your facial expressions, moan out something absolutely ridiculous which gets you giggling, all while maintaining the mood. He’s super loud, I can imagine the two of you going at it in a hotel room in Indonesia and getting interrupted by angry neighbours yelling at you to shut up. Noya would probably be like, “Uhm, no comprendo,” and you’d hit him on the shoulder. He’s also lowkey into public sex because I’m 100% sure he wouldn’t give up the opportunity to fuck you on the moonlit beach of Bali.

OIKAWA

- I always struggle with Oikawa, so this may not be great, but I imagine him proposing to you at Disneyland. He would splurge so much money on a ring for you, and your wedding is going to be one of the most extravagant in comparison to the rest of the characters. He’s actually so good-looking that some girl at Disneyland mistook him for a hired prince that works there and tried pulling a move on him. But he’d ignore her and pull you close and be like, “Yeah, I am, and this is my princess!” Turns out he didn’t even know she was trying to flirt with him so he really just acted out of initial thought and that made your heart swell.

- Oikawa is the type of guy to buy condoms, strawberries and chocolate ten o clock at night and not even blush about it. You’d be sitting in the car feeling embarrassed FOR him. He’d be pretty romantic during sex, and compliment you continuously, which means a lot coming from someone like him who can be pretty vain at times. Would either be sensual and slow or wild and animalistic. Depends on his mood.

KYOUTANI

- My headcanon is he’s dating me, and I love my feral boyfriend.

- He’s so soft when it comes to you. I imagine his scowl immediately fading at the sound of your voice and watching you talk and rant on about different things while he stares at you with a look of adoration. If anybody interrupts you he’s ready to square up.

- I imagine him to be pretty awkward and flustered during sex, missing your hole as he tries to thrust into you and not knowing much about what he’s doing. You’ll lead him through it and tell him what feels good, lift his head lightly if he’s accidentally using too much teeth on you and moaning his name loudly to encourage him when he does something pleasurable. Once he gets more comfortable he starts using more teeth on purpose, he might like inflicting pain to a minor degree.

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #kuroo x reader #nishinoya x reader #tsukishima x reader #oikawa x reader #kyoutani x reader #kuroo #tsukishima #nishinoya #oikawa #kyoutani

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hopelesstvaddict · 5 years

Text

Jon and Sansa's relationship is fragile because of Jon's insecurities

[So we're back. Instead of full reviews I think I'm just gonna write about specific subjects that make me pause and think, more than the general episodes]

So we've been treated with Jon's return to Winterfell and his rocky relationship with Sansa resumes. Again. Ain't this old by now ? Perhaps not.

Jon and Sansa are at their most affectionate when it comes to hugs but this second time, Sansa keeps focused on what's important. I don't really understand why Jon would take issue with Sansa speaking up at the council in the Great Hall; she brought up very valid points. Saving the world is important of course but people tend to forget what needs to happen behind the scenes in order to ensure that. I think I'm not alone in this but I also wondered why she didn't take into account Dany's army when preparing all the food storing. While that can be blamed on sloppy writing and it's fair to say that she could have at least entertained the idea, it's also fair to remember that Jon's main idea was first to mine dragonglass and then try to convince Dany to help them. Sansa was not convinced he would succeed; in her mind, Dany would only care about her throne. So far she's not proven entirely wrong. And we also have to remember that Jon didn't send any message to her for a long time and certainly not before he knelt. Probably the last scroll she got was something like 'Hey I'm ok' and then next thing she knew he had bent the knee. So by this time it was already too late to gather whatever food was necessary. Plus I think it's safe to say the entire North brought what food was available FOR THE NORTH ONLY. Obviously there wasn't much and in any case, even if she had been warned she'd have to feed many more, there wouldn't have been enough. Sansa takes care of all this, and all the political stuff - things that both Jon and Dany do not care about and have little regard for. Jon still doesn’t quite realize how much he needs Sansa to handle all of this because he doesn’t realize how important it is. Yet.

The scene that stood out the most takes place during Jon and Arya's reunion in which Jon tries to dismiss Sansa. Live reaction: Ok so we're back to this 'Jon-putting-down-his-sister' nonsense? At first view, it's quite infuriating to see Jon acting this way and it's hard to believe these two ever found a way to unite and effing retake Winterfell. But once you stop and think about it, this little exchange yields so much to analyze.

As many pointed out, Jon likely tries to revert to a childhood joke he shared with Arya when they were younger and used to diss their sister together. Fair point. Siblings often side against one another. But that shows several things. Jon has been away from Arya all series long and he doesn't realize yet that she's not his little baby sister anymore. His conversation about Needle further proves the point. In any case, Arya is having none of it and supports Sansa. We're all here for this.

Here Jon seemingly tries to diminish Sansa's intelligence. But he knows that she really IS smarter than everyone else. He knows it. So I think part of what's going on here is that Jon works as the embodiment of the last part of the general audience who still thinks that Sansa is useless and this scene was written for Arya - a known fan favorite - to dismiss this and assert her support of Sansa - to really drive home this idea. The scene with Tyrion (another fan favorite) serves a similar purpose.

Narratively, beyond Jon dismissing Sansa yet again, this reads as another instance where it's more about Jon than it is about Sansa. Several times Jon has confronted Sansa about her asserted cleverness - and all those times, she's been right - and each time it boiled down to Jon's lack of self-confidence and the need to prove himself to his sister. When she told him that Ramsey was more devious than what he thought, his first reaction was to boast about his military achievements. When she told him to be smarter than Robb and their father, his reaction was to half-jokingly dismiss her offer of counsel. This essentially is a version of him saying 'Yeah she's smart but so am I and I wish she saw it too'

This ties closely with the rest of the exchange where Arya tells him that Sansa is defending the family. Pay attention to what Jon says next - specifically the choice of phrasing it.

There is so much to draw from that line. He doesn't say 'She's my family too' or 'she's our family' or 'I'm your family too'. His choice of words means 'I, Jon, am part of Sansa's family too'. That singles out Sansa as Jon's focus for discontent. He could have said 'I'm your family' or just 'I'm family too' and that would have included Bran and Arya as well. But no, Sansa alone is who Jon focuses on. This shows that he still has some unresolved issues with her - even after all that happened between them. After two seasons of her repeatingly validating him, her saying out loud 'You're a Stark to me' he still doubts HER in particular

Perhaps that boils down to her behavior towards him when they were children since this comes up again later. A seemingly random bit of conversation but one can't help but wonder why this was brought up again. Jon and Sansa weren't close growing up and Jon is a deeply insecure person, being a bastard and all that and it's understandable that he would have a hard time letting go of all these presumptions when they all but defined his childhood. She was the sole of his siblings to make him feel like he didn't have a real place in the family (to make it very simple), hence why he doesn't have a problem with Arya or Bran. Yet.

But how can Sansa change that ? A girl can repeat her support for him so much and reassure him all the time but really it's up to Jon to get past childish jabbing and accept the woman his sister has become and that she's genuine in her concern towards him. That she's changed.

'I'm her family too' is another way of saying 'I'm part of her family too so why is she always antagonizing me/fighting me/disagreeing with me?' Jon still thinks Sansa doesn't consider him family and she's the last one not to in his mind.

The choice of words also emphasizes the 'I'. Rather than say 'she' and put focus on Sansa alone, the use of 'I' brings the sentence back to Jon and puts the spotlight on him as well. 'I am part of her family too'. As if he's saying it out loud and repeating it so that perhaps his thick brain will finally accept it. This is a clever exchange that foreshadows the existential/identity crisis that he's going to go through no later than before the end of the episode. Which renders Arya's 'Don't forget that' quite unsubtle. This will be Jon’s final storyline, the resolution of the one problem that defined him at the beginning of the story.

This need to gain Sansa's approval is driven further in the scene the two of them share later on (another candlelit setting). We have yet to see Jon interact with Bran or Arya but Jon is decidedly different with Sansa. Perhaps that's because they're the eldest. Perhaps that's because they're closer in age. Perhaps that's because they are the leaders of their House. Perhaps that's because they went to war together. In any case, Jon is wary, unsure and insecure about how she feels about him. He doesn’t look to Sansa the way he affectionately looks to Arya or Bran. A smile is rare when he interacts with Sansa. He yells, they don't see eye to eye, he feels like she belittles him, he feels hurt and at the end of it, this :

This is him asking her for reassurance. Asking for a clear answer. 'Please trust me. Please tell me that you support me'. He craves her validation. After he all but dismissed her in front of Arya. Why go see her? Why take her intel so close to his heart then ?

To which she responds 'You know I do'. Two things to take from this. First, once again she reassures him and reasserts her support and loyalty to him. Second, 'YOU KNOW I do' means 'you already know the answer'. This shows that in her mind, Jon should ALREADY know that he has acquired her undying support - probably against her better judgement. Newsflash : he doesn’t.

Can we stop now for a second and breathe a sigh of relief that Sansa has grown confident enough to be sure of who she is and not question Jon's lack of faith in her ? Thank the Gods one of them has their shit together because if she were like him, this wouldn't go anywhere.

It's possible that her not lashing out at him and instead adopting this quiet, sad behavior is also the manifestation of her own fear towards him - that he effectively abandoned her. For all the tough 'no one can protect me' behavior, anyone is going to be touched to have someone pledge to protect them.

Anyway, Sansa trusts Jon but he doesn't. It's quite interesting that he was the one asking for mutual trust before and yet he is the one in the end who can't totally do it because in his heart, he is still deeply insecure about her. Sure there were some steps made. Ensuring the safety of the North and entrusting her with it was a huge improvement. But still, we see that on a personal level he is quite not there.

The obvious question then is WHY. Why is he still insecure ? And why Sansa in particular ? The beginning of an answer can be found in the relationship he had with her while they were children and how it compares to Arya and Bran. Maybe that's just remnants of that strained relationship.

But if Sansa has changed and for the better and Jon still struggles to accept it, let's just hope that a similar situation doesn't arise with Arya and Bran. Let's rule out the latter since he's all about the zen attitude but we've already seen that Arya is not Jon's Arya anymore and that she will stand beside Sansa when needed. For now, Jon has no reason to doubt Arya like he does Sansa. When the reveal about his parentage comes out, how will Sansa and Arya react ? If he can't handle the thought of one sister seemingly doubting him, what's it going to be if it's two sisters ?

All of this insecurity regarding Sansa - for now - is at least partly in preparation of the drama that is sure to unfold in the next weeks. Jon fears that Sansa doesn't see him as family and now, he has even more reason to be afraid. All the drama that has happened between them for seasons boils down to this deep fear of not being accepted by her and now we're in for the culmination. There will be a lot of fighting, we’re told. Jon will sulk and convince himself that he was right in the end, that he wasn't part of the family and more so, that SHE was right not to accept him. Sansa on the other hand, I suspect, will mainly fight to make him accept once and for all that he is a Stark. That's the passionate fight for her this season. To make her family complete.

Another interesting thing to note - as others have observed - is that the conversation is left unfinished.

Sansa asks if Jon loves Dany and he doesn't respond. Once again, Sansa demonstrates - to us and to Jon - how perceptive she is, how well she can read people, and him specifically. As of now, Jon’s relationship with Dany is still a secret and yet she has figured it out.

What's really notable is that this is a pattern in a lot of Sansa/Jon conversations, specifically the ones where they argue in private. Compare this one to the tent scene in 6x09 or the one in 7x01 right after the council or even in 6x07 when they argue about the men they have. We have Sansa and Jon arguing heatedly then the conversation tones down to soft, sad voices and then it ends before resolution can happen, either because they choose to end it there, someone else interrupts or we simply are denied to see it.

Sansa and Jon have been arguing ever since they reunited. Every season they were pitted against each other as the siblings who fought. Now in the final season, it's still brought up and used in the narrative. Meaning that it means something, that it's important to the story. We saw that Arya and Sansa fought in Season 7. It was tied to their old bickering from childhood and ultimately it was resolved and now Arya stands by her sister. Narratively, a conflict plaguing characters has to be resolved when the story comes to its conclusion. Sansa and Jon’s storyline has been going on since Season 6 now, so their relationship HAS TO come to a resolution, one way or another. And it'll be all about Jon finally accepting that he is a Stark and about him accepting that Sansa has accepted it.

#got #game of thrones #sansa stark #got meta #game of thrones meta #jon snow #jonsa #actuallyjonsa #arya stark #got theories #game of thrones theories #got thoughts #game of thrones season 8 #got s8 #got season 8 #game of thrones s8 #jon x sansa #got analysis #game of thrones analysis

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miru-p · 7 years

Note

MIRU PLS I'M THIRSTY FOR MORE KARINA HEADCANONS I LOVE HER SO MUCH...Can I have her relationships with the other crusaders and Esther and Hana?? (Don't forget Avdol ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) Take your time responding, I know it's a lot aslkdfjslkdjfasklgjakl ILU

Asdsajkdbaskdbka Maryyy I’m so happy you love my daughter that much TvT

Thanks for the ask!! ❤️ Under read more cos looong. I hope you enjoy it!! (*ﾉ▽ﾉ)

Karina and Jotaro

Karina doesn’t have actually a very good relationship at first with him. Also, being called noisy b!tch from time to time doesn’t help.

Joseph and Esther would scold him for that. And even Karina tries once to scare him with a little of Hamon, but Star Platinum was faster than her lol.

Still, they both know about the strengths of the other and respect that. Also, she started to respect him more after the events with The Lovers, when she saw that he actually cares about his family.

During the events of DiU, since both of them ‘calmed down’ a bit, their relationship was way better. Still not the best tho.

In the nobody dies AU, when Kari knew about Joseph and Caesar, she couldn’t help to say that what a pain was that this rude brat was somehow now her annoying half-cousin.

Karina and Joseph

Due to their similar characters they got along almost immediately. They’re the big babies dorks of the gang tbh.

They are always joking about a lot of things. Sometimes he jokes about how close to each other she and Avdol walk, and then she remembers him the towel incident and says that not everyone is as perv as he is.

Also, Karina usually remembers him how old he looks cos he stoped with his Hamon training.

Joseph is kind of protective with her; in canon cos he thinks he owes Caesar at least that, and in the nobody dies AU cos he knows that Caesar would kill him if something happens to her.

In the nobody dies AU, they got even closer to each other. Joseph was very happy when Karina’s and Caesar’s relationship improved, and usually likes to tease both of the tsun tsun Zeppelis at once, like when he takes photos of them when they fall asleep together.

Also, he really enjoys taking care of Kari’s and Avdol’s kids. Especially he likes to teach Nassif some tricks to scare his mother.

Karina and Avdol

Karina got attracted to him since the first time, and when knowing him more and more, she ends up falling in love.

Since he is used to Joseph, Avdol was the one who first know her actual self under her noisy and bubbly shield.

When Avdol was injured by Hol Horse, she stayed with him until she made sure that he was okay, and then she reunited with the rest of the gang in Karachi.

During that time she was taking care of him, she confessed to him. Actually, not in purpose, cos she thought he was unconscious. Also, they have their first kiss and their first time ( ◡‿◡ *)

While escaping from High Priestess, they both were diving holding hands since Karina was the only one who couldn’t communicate with the others via stand and he was worried.

During the fight against N'Doul, Karina ended up injured cos she run towards Avdol when he was attacked.

In the nobody dies AU, they got married on summer of 1989, a few weeks before Rosa was born.

Karina and Kakyoin

They actually got along well almost right away.

Karina’s nickname for him is ‘Nori’.

Usually, Karina ask him when she has some trouble with English, since both of them don’t have it as first language and it would be kind of shameful ask someone like Joseph or Esther whose first language is English.

During the fight against Death 13, since it was in a dream, that was the first and last time Karina could actually see the other’s stands sadly she won’t remember anything after waking up :’), and said that Hierophant Green was the prettiest.

In the nobody dies AU, they get along even better after the events in Egypt, with regular phone calls, especially after Kak and Hana get together.

Karina and Polnareff

They didn’t have the best first meeting ever. Karina basically stated that a spanish and a french will never be friends.

Little by little both of them learn the good qualities of the other, and to trust each other.

They still argue from time to time but mostly mutually teasing than real arguments.

After the events of SDC, Polnareff was the one who contacted Karina for telling her about Avdol’s death. He apologized to her a lot of times, but she was so shock when she heard it that she just droped the phone and started crying.

In the nobody dies AU, he is the best man at Avdol and Karina’s wedding. He was the one who cried the most at it too besides Kari’s dad lol.

Karina and Esther ( @miss-mary-grace ‘s OC)

When Karina met her, she was v nervous cos she haven’t have a friend before, so she tried to start a girly conversation with her and ended up asking about her bra size in front of everyone. *Facepalm*

The times that they share a room and Esther stays up late, Karina’d use the Koala technique aka hugging her from behind for bothering and trying to persuade her to go to bed. Rarely works tho.

Esther is usually the one who tries to stop Kari and Pol when they start bickering.

During their reunion in DiU. they both felt kind of awkward cos Esther felt guilty about Avdol’s death and Kari felt bad that Esther couldn’t have children when she can, but after talking about that, they got along as well as before.

In the nobody dies AU, she is the bridesmaid at Avdol and Karina’s wedding.

At the wedding, she was the one who realize how Karina was hiding how tired she was due to her pregnancy, so she took her to her room to rest a bit.

Karina and Hana ( @bearycafe ‘s OC)

Karina met Hana when Kakyoin, Avdol, and her were hospitalized after the fight against N’Doul.

The first time she saw her was when she was regaining consciousness, and the first thing she thought was that she was dead and was seeing an angel. She wasn’t that injured, but she’s a drama queen.

She stayed there as much as Kakyoin, so she could knew her a little more.

Hana and Kak were the first ones who knew about Karina’s pregnancy.

At Karina and Avdol’s wedding, Hana was the one who catched the bouquet. (✿◕‿◕✿)

Karina was happy to finally have a, as she claimed, normal friend, referring about that Hana can’t see stand either.

Also, Eileen and Kari’s kids became friends right away.

#reply #miss mary grace #my ocs #my friends ocs

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spicycreativity · 3 years

Text

A Place Where I Can Breathe - Ch 2

Chapter: 2/7 Additional Notes: See Ch 1 for more information. Read on AO3 under "WizardGlick." Formatting/italics errors are holdovers from AO3 that I was too lazy to fix. Chapter Content Warnings: Brief depiction of light dissociation Excerpt: Roman had already transformed the living room: metallic streamers of purple and black stretched across the corners of the ceiling, and shiny balloons spelling out A-N-X-E-I-T-Y hovered above the TV. "Uh, Princey?" Virgil said, tilting his head at them, but Roman wasn't listening. "Don't tell him," Logan advised, shoving down his own annoyance at the error.

Virgil peeled another poster off the wall and laid it down on his bare mattress. Without the sticky tack pinning it flat, it rolled itself back up into a tube shape. Quietly singing along to the music blasting from his speakers, Virgil adjusted it and rolled a purple rubber band down to its center. Then he put it with the rest of his posters, in an open-topped cardboard box exactly identical to the ones he’d been imagining up as necessary. The weight of his newly blank walls bore down on him hard and he chewed absentmindedly at his thumbnail before catching himself. He clenched his hands into fists instead and worried at his lower lip as he surveyed what was left of his room.

It would have been faster and easier to ask Roman for an assist. He could have had Virgil’s entire room moved (and renovated) in less time than it took him to wave his hands. And he would wave his hands, and give a self-aggrandizing little speech, and hold it over Virgil’s head until he found something else to congratulate himself for.

So, no, despite their fledgling alliance, despite the direct invitation, Virgil wouldn’t be asking Roman for favors anytime soon. And besides (not that he would ever admit it out loud), there was something undeniably grounding, something real, about doing the work with his hands. He just hoped his empty room would take the hint and follow him upstairs.

As he worked, he became aware of eyes on him. It was a slow dawning, an uncomfortable tingle in his spine that morphed into a full-body itch. Spite kept him from turning to look, focused on packing away the meager contents of his closet. He knew that Janus would come, and he was determined to not care. Let him face the consequences of his actions for once in his life.

From the doorway, Janus watched. He watched Virgil reverently fold imaginary band tees he would never have the courage to wear. He watched Virgil ignore him. He watched Virgil prepare to forsake the only family he had ever known.

The uneasy stalemate grew more tense by the second until they were both buckling under the weight of words unsaid.

It was Janus who broke first. Where the embers of Virgil's anger could smolder endlessly in his chest, Janus' temper reared up at the slightest provocation and struck with its fangs, and would not be satisfied until the threat was gone. "Tell me you didn't actually buy that little 'family' act."

Virgil's knuckles went white around the Paramore shirt he'd been folding. If Janus had come to patch things up, he was making a mess of it. "There's nothing to buy. They're not liars upstairs." He didn’t need to add ‘unlike here ;’ it went both unsaid and mutually understood.

Janus narrowed his eyes and doubled down in his attempt to make Virgil catch his meaning. "It's awfully sweet that you want to think that, but let's not forget that your precious Patton is the whole reason you're down here with the rejects in the first place."

"Yeah? Well, he’s also the main reason I’m heading up now.” Virgil resumed folding up his shirt. There was no sense in letting Janus upset him, not when it was Virgil who had the upper hand. He had made his decision.

"Yes, and I’m sure he and Roman weren't just being nice to spare their own feelings.”

Virgil was quiet for a long moment, methodically re-folding the shirt and placing it into the box with the others. "Would it kill you to just be happy for me?" he demanded, turning back to his closet without sparing so much as a glance at Janus. He stared at the few remaining shirts without really seeing them, heart hammering against his ribcage. He had been hoping to slip out quietly and let Janus cool down. Despite last night’s tension, he really hadn't intended to burn any bridges. But since Janus was being so generous with the kerosene…

In the doorway, Janus straightened. He dropped his hands to his sides, staring at Virgil like he'd never seen him before. Something uncomfortably like defeat crawled up his spine. "So you really think this is going to end well for you?" It went against his nature to speak plainly; even now the truth metamorphosed painfully on his tongue, becoming a venom-drenched mockery of itself.

Virgil had never liked the process of drawing the truth out of Janus. It always involved effort on one of their parts, and too often Virgil was the one left untangling the knots when Janus was the one who had tied them. He was just about sick of it. So he left the truth raveled up inside Janus' words and grabbed a shirt at random from his closet. "Yeah. I do."

Janus faltered and went still. Virgil could see it out of the corner of his eye, and the sick sense of satisfaction made him smirk. He really was tired of the eternal chess match that came with talking to Janus and it felt good to score a point for himself.

When Janus felt cornered, he struck. But this ? Virgil hadn't cornered him, he'd boxed him in . There was nothing to strike at. Just blank white walls and the chemical odor of lighter fluid.

For a moment, there was no sound but Virgil's music. Virgil imagined another T-shirt to fold. MCR. Long sleeves. Soft jersey under his hands.

Janus knew perfectly well what Virgil wanted from him. But courage wasn't in his function; neither was vulnerability. He stood still in the doorway. No motion but the rise and fall of his chest, the twitch of his irises as he watched Virgil tape up his box of T-shirts. It should have been an easy choice: his pride for Virgil's friendship. But the scales pitched and swung and refused to balance, and Janus was silent.

"Tell me why you came here," Virgil dared him, searching for yet another reason to not look Janus in the eye. He settled for imagining a Sharpie so he could label his boxes.

Janus was silent.

"I know you wanted something."

Silent.

"Say it."

Silent.

"Then go."

Silent.

Janus turned on his heel and walked away. Resentment bloomed in his chest. Virgil had gone for a weak spot on purpose, had set Janus up to lose one of two things he held dear. Let him leave, then. If it turned out to be a mistake, they would find out soon enough. And if it didn't, well…

At least Janus had his pride.

Virgil scoffed at the sight of Janus slinking away like a cat, head high and shoulders back.

Virgil had never expected to lose Janus, but he supposed it did make sense that things would end this way: not with the cheap words he threw around like a high-roller's banknotes, but with a chill and deadly silence.

"Whatever," Virgil said to no one. He picked up one of his boxes and headed for the stairs.

Janus was nowhere to be found; Virgil figured he was probably sulking in his room with the lights off, plucking at threads that would never hold knots.

That, or planning some sort of revenge. Virgil tried not to shudder. After all, there wasn't really anything Janus could do to him, not when Virgil had this much conviction in his decision. Janus preyed on insecurities, driving wedges of doubts into the cracks that already existed in the foundations of long-held beliefs. And Virgil had allowed himself no doubts. Not today. Not about this.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice Remus on the stairs.

Remus had been making no effort to hide, but, realizing that Virgil was going to pass by without noticing him, sprang forward to block his path. "Boo!"

"Fuck!" Virgil flinched and pulled the box in tighter to his chest. He glared at Remus and took in a few deep breaths, leaning against the bannister while he waited for his head to stop spinning. "What was that for?"

"Take a wild guess, Little Boy Boohoo." Remus slapped the top of the box just hard enough to make the contents shift and rattle, rage boiling in his chest. "Y'know, when you said you got Raptured, I didn't think you'd actually go through with it."

"Remus, come on." Sadness ached in the back of Virgil's throat. He hadn't wanted this. For all that Janus and Remus had teased him about spending time upstairs, he hadn't expected this kind of anger from either of them, was still reeling from their unabashed hostility. They were friends . Well. They used to be.

"Cum on what?" Remus asked, leaning in. "Your face? Your tits?" Fire blazed in his eyes and he made no effort to quell it; he wanted Virgil scared . It served him right for picking Roman.

Virgil seemed to read his mind. "You know I'm not choosing them over you guys, I just-- I can be friends with all of you. I can help. ”

"No," Remus said, meaning every word of it. "You can't."

Virgil squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, forcing down his doubts. "But you guys are the ones making me choose. I-- Look, I'm sure if I told them how much you mean to me--"

"They'd start inviting us up for tea and orgies?" Remus bared his teeth. "Face it, Virgil. They want to change us just like they changed you," he bit the air in front of Virgil's face, "into a toothless little lap dog. And the second you stop playing by their rules, it's back in the dungeon with the rest of us wolves. And you know what wolves get: Dark screens and pens out of ink and knots that won't stay tied."

"Maybe I don't like being a wolf," Virgil said, sticking with the metaphor out of habit. It usually made Remus happy to have his ideas acknowledged. "Maybe I'm changing for my own sake."

Remus sneered at him, aiming to wound. "Patton must give really good head."

"Get out of my way," Virgil said, fury burning cold in his lungs. "I'll be back down soon for the rest of my stuff."

Remus stepped aside, but planted his boot on the railing opposite the wall before Virgil could take so much as a single step. Nothing about Remus could be repressed or contained, not his anger, not his glee, not even his sadness. It escaped now, despite his best efforts to get a leash on it. "I just never thought it would be you."

"What do you mean?" Virgil asked, studying Remus' wistful face. His heart gave a dangerous lurch. "Actually? I don't care. Move."

Remus let his boot drop with a heavy thud, forcing Virgil to step over it. "You're making a mistaaaake," he called after Virgil, pitching his voice up in a shrill sing-song lilt. A parting gift to the traitor.

Virgil winced, but kept walking. If he was making a mistake, at least it was his mistake to make.

At the top of the stairs, he batted at the doorknob until it turned enough to allow him to fall through the door. He kicked it shut behind him and paused to catch his breath.

Then Roman popped up from the couch, sweeping a hand through his hair. "Hey there, 5 Seconds of Bummer."

"Jesus!" Virgil jumped and fell back against the wall, chest aching.

"Careful, don't let Elder Patton hear you say that. What's with the box?" Roman looked Virgil up and down, examining the coal black eyeshadow and the way he cowered against the wall. Whatever he was doing, he seemed unharmed, if a little freaked out. Not that that was unusual.

"I'm moving," Virgil said, only just managing to hold back a sarcastic ' genius .'

"Really?" Roman's smile was so bright it was almost dazzling. "Say no more!" He straightened, puffing out his chest. "Let's see, where should we put you?" He paused, drawing mental pictures. "By Logan, I think. Right across from yours truly.”

Virgil squinted at him, but he realized Roman’s intent a moment too late. "Oh, I don't--"

"Shh." Roman focused on his desired effect, pictured Virgil's room and all its contents moving upstairs. He would have a bright purple door with a black iron door knob. Oh, and a little 'keep out' sign with a skull on it. And a new bedspread with purple patches, to match his hoodie. And of course, he couldn't forget Virgil's actual possessions (whatever they were) right where they were supposed to be. "There!"

Virgil ducked his head and raised his eyebrows, dropping his hands to his sides now that he had no box to hold up. He almost mourned the loss of it, the comforting weight on his chest. "'There'?" he repeated.

Roman beamed at him. "I moved your room for you!" Virgil opened his mouth, Roman assumed to complain about his precious privacy or whatever, so Roman raised a hand to stop him. "Now, now, no need to thank me." He paused, thinking it over, and regretted his choice of words. "No, wait, do."

"Uh, how about I hold off on that until I actually see my room?" Virgil stared expectantly at Roman, who bounced on his toes. "Lead on, Macduff."

"That's not the line and you know it," Roman complained, but he turned to lead Virgil to his room. "It's ' lay on, Macduff,' and--"

"Yeah, yeah," Virgil interrupted, already regretting his teasing. "And then they fight."

"Don't tempt me, " Roman said. Then he winced. "Ah, like, friendly fighting! Between bros! Good, old-fashioned, manly sword fighting between two dudes…" He paused to take a breath, faltering, hoping for a rescue that did not come, "who are friends. Friendly sword dudes." He cleared his throat and repeated, "Friendly sword dudes."

Behind him, Virgil smiled. For all his boasting, Roman really was trying to be more pleasant. Maybe Virgil should try to extend a hand as well. Unfortunately, "Sure," was all he could manage.

He followed Roman across the living room and up another set of stairs until they came upon a long corridor lined on either side with doors. "It's like a hotel," Virgil observed.

"Go in already." Roman nudged Virgil with his hip.

Virgil resisted the urge to smack him, reminding himself that Roman wouldn't know he was just playing. Instead, he shoved his hands in his hoodie pockets and walked down the hallway to his door. "It's purple."

"Oh, good, you're not colorblind."

"Was that a big concern for you?" Virgil didn't wait for a response before pulling the door open and examining his room. Everything seemed fine, from his band posters to his pet spider in its terrarium. Everything aside from the bedspread.

Roman kept glancing between it and Virgil, wiggling in excitement. "Well?"

"Um, yeah." Virgil forced a smile. "It looks nice. Thanks, Princey. I, uh. I like the purple."

"I knew you would!" Roman gave himself a round of applause and pushed past Virgil, throwing himself down on the bed. "Come feel. The purple patches are fleece."

"Okay…" Virgil crossed the room, trying not to look as tense as he felt. He sat down on the edge of the bed, and put his hand down on the fleece, mind frustratingly blank. "Yeah, that's soft."

Roman nodded in satisfaction. "So," he said, "how does it feel?"

"...Soft?" Virgil repeated, flicking his eyes to Roman's face for just a moment.

"Not the comforter." Roman sighed. "Your great escape! You're finally free from Bialysnake and Doom."

Virgil tilted his head. "Not your best work," he said, mostly to avoid answering the question.

"Oh, everyone's a critic." Roman examined his nails. "But come on, doesn't it feel better to know you won't have to deal with those freaks anymore? I can't even imagine how you made it this long, and that's saying a lot for me. Thank goodness you let us rescue you."

Virgil forced back the instinctive wave of anger that Roman would talk about his friends that way. They weren ' t friends anymore. And maybe it would feel good to vent a little. "I'm glad to be gone," Virgil said with conviction, imagining Janus and Remus listening at the door. "It's gonna be really nice not having to deal with all the mind games and, and random tangents and… weird communication problems."

"Go, Virgil!" Roman said, a little surprised at Virgil's candor. "That really must have been Hell for you."

Virgil, as a rule, avoided lying. Even white lies made him feel sick and panicky. But for just one incandescent moment, he lost control of his temper and let the bonfire blaze in his chest and the smoke pour out of his mouth. "Yeah." If he said it out loud, maybe he could make himself believe it. Maybe he could crush the remaining ache of betrayal, the longing for his friends. "It was Hell. I'm not going to miss them at all."

Roman gave a low whistle "I'm glad we got you out of there."

"Lucky me." Virgil rubbed his fingertips along a patch of fleece as guilt, cloying and viscous, lapped at the back of his throat.

It was funny, he thought, reflecting on the look of earnest conviction in Roman's eyes. When Janus said that 3 plus 3 equaled 7, he was getting at something. When Roman said that 3 plus 3 equaled 7, he believed it. That could be a dangerous combination someday. Maybe it was better like this. Now Virgil was in a better position to keep Roman and the others safe from whatever vengeance Janus and Remus might choose to inflict upon them.

"Hey," said Virgil, shaking himself out of his thoughts. "Maybe we should get out of here. Y'know, before you go all--"

"Fright Night?" Roman frowned, bored with the idea. "That's so last episode. Can't you just turn it off?" Almost to himself, he muttered, "A nifty little Roman trick."

"Turn off my anxiety?" Virgil repeated, incredulous.

"No, no, of course not." Roman waved a hand to dismiss the idea. "Just make your room a little less kooky, spooky, and ooky." He snapped his fingers twice.

"No?" said Virgil.

"Let's see." Roman indicated the switch on the wall he had just dreamed up. "Go ahead. Pull the lever, Anxiety!"

Virgil rolled his eyes. "It's not a lever."

"I could make it a lever," Roman said, a touch petulant. "A long one, too, so you can walk into it and jab yourself right in the ribs every time you try to turn the lights on."

"Alright, I get it," Virgil put up his hands placatingly. "I'm sorry I talked bad about your anxiety lightswitch." He got to his feet and flipped the switch, all the while staring expectantly at Roman. "Feel anything?"

"Profoundly unchanged." Roman stood up as well and rocked forward onto his toes. "Ah, well. I guess I wasn't in here long enough to tell the difference. Suppose that's why we leave the nerdy science stuff to the Great Logician."

“Where are the others, anyway?” Virgil asked, longing for an escape from one-on-one conversation. His nerves were already starting to fray.

“I don’t know.” Roman leaned against the wall and fidgeted with one of Virgil’s decorative spiderwebs. “Logan’s probably holed up in his room making a spreadsheet of Thomas’ vitamin deficiencies or something equally as boring.”

“And Patton?”

“I don’t know, man, it’s not like I keep them under surveillance.” Roman rolled his eyes, annoyed with the questioning. "I suppose I should summon them up to say hello." He gave Virgil a sidelong glance.

Virgil shrugged. "I don't really care either way, to be honest. But maybe don't bother them if they're busy "

Roman wasn't listening. "Let's see, probably shouldn't do it in your room… To the hallway!" He bounded out the door leaving Virgil to follow him at a shuffle.

It was fine, Virgil had to keep reminding himself. Roman meant well, and maybe his antics would keep Patton from rolling out the welcome wagon. The thought of special treatment made Virgil's toes curl. Just because he didn't want to be insulted all the time didn't mean he needed to be babie d.

Roman's voice cut through the noise in Virgil's head and he planted his hands on his hips. "You're not listening to me at all, are you?"

Virgil gave a fake smile. "I got caught up in the sound of your voice."

"Hm, well." Roman sniffed, playing the part. "My talents are wasted on buzzkill philistines." He paused. "Buzzkill-istines."

Virgil only made a face, so Roman sighed and brought up his arms to summon Patton and Logan, proclaiming as he did so, "Look who I rescued from the dungeon!"

"Hey," said Virgil, bristling, but the chaos was already underway.

"Yay!" Patton threw his arms out wide. "It's Anxiety!"

"You never say 'yay,' when I come around,” Roman complained.

"Hi, Patton," Virgil said, not wanting to be rude.

Logan chimed in, "Roman, it would be incredibly disruptive if Patton said 'yay' every time you entered a shared space--"

"I didn't ask for a read , you pirated nerd processor. I'm just saying a little appreciation would be nice."

"Anxiety is our guest !"

Patton still had his arms out. Virgil caught his eye. "Was that-- Is that for a hug or…?"

"Only if you want one!" Patton said.

Roman threw his hands up in frustration. "It's like I'm not even here! You never offer me hugs."

"If you are referring to Patton, he hugged you three times yesterday by my count." Logan paused and pushed up his glasses. "Possibly more times than that, if I wasn't present to witness them."

"Aw, Roman, did you want a hug, too? Group hug?"

"I would prefer not to--"

"No, no, that's quite alright."

"Does anybody want a hug? 'Cause my arms are getting tired."

" I don't," Roman said, obviously pouting.

Virgil pressed his fingertips to his forehead, exasperated. Then he stepped away from Roman and let Patton hug him like he obviously wanted to.

It was hard for Virgil to not shudder at the sudden heat and weight on him. With his senses already open and taking in more information than his brain seemed to want to process, touch was an added stressor, more unwanted sensory input.

But it was important to Patton, and his voice was genuine when he said, "Thank you."

"Ugh, enough already!" Roman said, dropping his arms so he could cross them again. "Isn't anyone going to congratulate me for rescuing our dark-and-stormy damsel?"

Virgil seized upon the opportunity to slip out of Patton's arms and step a healthy distance away. "I'm sorry, which part was the rescue? Was it the part where you ambushed me in the living room and took my stuff?"

"Roman, it's not nice to take what doesn't belong to you," Patton said.

"No, Padre. Ugh." Roman groaned and ran a hand through his hair. "I helped him move all his stuff."

"That does explain the new violet variance," Logan said, nodding at Virgil's door.

Roman muttered, "That doesn't make sense; you just wanted an excuse to use alliteration," but it was barely audible under the sound of Patton screeching in delight.

"Uh," said Virgil, wide-eyed. "How long do you think he's gonna go?"

"Three," said Logan, unphased.

"What?"

"Two."

"And one," Roman said.

Patton drew in a deep breath. "Kiddo! You're gonna live with us now?"

"Yep," Virgil said, ducking his head.

"This is so exciting! We have to celebrate!"

"We really don't," Virgil muttered, backing into the wall. The last thing he wanted was--

"A party!" Roman said, driving his fist into his open palm. If he couldn't be the object of adoration, then he could at least be in charge of something.

Virgil sighed, swallowing back a swear. He suddenly longed for the safe familiarity of Janus' gentle taunts and Remus' wild-eyed enthusiasm. He had grown so used to people knowing his limits, to having his needs anticipated and boundaries accounted for.

It crossed his mind to flee, to run back down the stairs into the basement with apologies on his lips. At least his old demons were familiar ones. He knew how to handle it when Remus got too wild or when Janus got sulky and jealous. And the ache, the ache of being so cruel, well, he knew how to ride that out too.

What Virgil did not know how to handle was the rambunctious enthusiasm of three (well, two) optimists who were far too excited about being his friends.

Oh.

Realization and guilt slammed into Virgil's chest, a flying tackle of empathy. All Patton and Roman wanted to do was be his friends, and Virgil had the nerve to be put off by it.

He shook himself and tuned back into the conversation just in time for Roman to address him directly, "And you just have to sit there and look pretty." A beat. "Pretty scary." Patton turned his disapproving gaze on Roman, who was already in the process of trying to extricate his foot from his mouth. "Ah, um, pretty… scarily… pretty . Because it scares us… how pretty you look."

Virgil decided to let that one go as a show of goodwill. "...Thanks."

"Yep," Roman said, utterly failing to stick the landing. "Anyway, enough talk! We have festivities to attend to!"

He sank out, and Patton after him, until it was just Virgil and Logan in the hall.

"I do not understand him," Logan admitted.

Virgil just shook his head, privately wondering if the same placating behavior that worked on Remus would work on Roman too. "Just go with it, I guess."

Logan nodded. "Before we join the others, I did want to tell you: Please do not hesitate to ask if there's something I can help you with."

"Hesitating is the name of my game," Virgil said, misunderstanding.

Logan adjusted his glasses, hiding his confusion behind his hand. "Perhaps that was a poor choice of words. I only meant that--"

It clicked for Virgil. "I get it, Logan. Thank you."

"You are welcome, Anxiety. I believe your presence here will be of benefit to us all." Logan sank out, studiously avoiding eye contact.

Virgil sank out after him, suddenly terrified at the idea of being alone with his thoughts.

Roman had already transformed the living room: metallic streamers of purple and black stretched across the corners of the ceiling, and shiny balloons spelling out A-N-X-E-I-T-Y hovered above the TV.

"Uh, Princey?" Virgil said, tilting his head at them, but Roman wasn't listening.

"Don't tell him," Logan advised, shoving down his own annoyance at the error.

"Just go with it," Virgil repeated, a reminder for the both of them.

"Took you two long enough!" Roman shouted from the kitchen. "Professor Necktie, get in here and help Patton with the measuring cups."

"I got it!" Patton exclaimed. "A third of a cup and a fourth of a cup are pretty much the same thing, right?"

"Oh," said Logan, already in motion. "No."

"What about me?" Virgil asked.

Roman popped his head through the kitchen doorway, nearly knocking into Logan. "I already told you, Sweet Coraline--"

"Da, da, da," Patton chimed in.

"--just sit there and look--"

"Scary."

"Is it Interrupt Roman Day?" Roman threw his head back and rolled his eyes.

"No," said Logan, before realizing the question was rhetorical.

"Wait," said Virgil, "So I'm just supposed to sit by myself in the living room while you guys…" He tried to remember what Roman had said before, but he really hadn't been listening.

"While I bake and Patton tries to drink vanilla extract," Logan said.

There was a sound suspiciously like a small plastic bottle hitting a formica countertop. "Uh, Roman, why don't you keep Virgil company?" Patton suggested. "You know what they say about too many cooks. Or… bakers, I guess."

"What do they say?"

"I don't remember! You'll have to chef back with me later."

Virgil winced. Roman shot him a commiserating look. "Fine, I guess we can both sit and look pretty. Comes naturally to me anyway."

"Great," Virgil said.

"Well, Simple Plan, do you want anything to drink while I'm up?"

"'Simple Plan'?" Virgil repeated, confused. "That one wasn't even a real nickname, you just named an emo band."

"Look, I can't be on all the time." Roman made a face. "Do you want a drink or not?"

"Could I have a coffee?"

"Coffee?" Roman stared at him. "It's 2:00 pm!"

"Oh, so there's a wrong answer?"

"Alright, alright. How do you take it?"

"With milk."

Roman nodded. "How much?"

"What?"

"How much milk?"

"I don't know, I don't measure it out," Virgil tried to keep the incredulous look off his face but couldn't quite manage it. "Just, y'know, with milk."

" How much milk, Virgil?"

"I don't know!" Virgil put up his hands. "Until it's a nice beige color."

"How beige?"

"What do you mean 'how beige'? Beige is beige!"

"Alright, fine," Roman huffed. "But you're not allowed to complain if it's wrong."

"Deal," Virgil said, nodding.

Roman turned to go back in the kitchen and Virgil threw himself down on the couch with a huff. Roman got wound up about the weirdest things.

Unlike Virgil, who only got wound up about normal things, like if the person at the door was really the pizza delivery person, or if they were secretly an assassin sent to kill Thomas.

Reasonable fears.

Virgil ran his hands down his face and sighed. Despite his earlier desire to be alone, and despite the reassuring sounds of controlled chaos from the kitchen, doubt crept into the corners of his mind.

He bounced his leg and tried not to look at the door to the basement. The living room and kitchen were technically common areas, even if the so-called 'Dark' sides usually kept clear of them.

Janus or Remus could burst in at any second and ruin everything. Roman, at least, seemed to be under the impression that Virgil had hated every waking moment as a Dark Side. If he ever found out that they had been friends...

Virgil forced himself to take several deep breaths. Everything would be fine. Roman, Logan, and Patton were his friends , and they wouldn't judge him for how he had acted before.

...Unless they did .

"Coffee!" Roman said, barreling into the living room with far too much confidence for someone holding a full coffee mug.

"Jeeze!" Virgil jumped and clutched at his chest, his pulse hammering against his hands. "Stop doing that!"

"Stop entering rooms?" Roman said sarcastically. He sat down next to Virgil on the couch and set a coffee mug on a mismatched saucer down on the coffee table. "There."

"Thanks," Virgil said. He thought about teasing Roman for having made it the wrong shade of beige, but decided against it. They were still getting used to each other and Virgil didn't know how far he could push without hurting Roman's feelings. "What about you?"

Roman held out his hand and he was suddenly holding a champagne flute full of sparkling water. "Don't you worry about me."

There was a crash from the kitchen, followed by a blithe "oops!" from Patton and a long sigh from Logan.

"How about them?" Virgil asked. "Can I worry about them ?"

Roman waved a hand and sat back. "I guess worrying is your job."

"Yep," said Virgil, glancing again at the basement door.

They fell silent for a moment, but Roman was never one to leave an awkward silence untouched. "So, what do you usually do for fun? Or was it more of a Cinderella situation?"

"You really think I'd take that kind of treatment lying down?" Virgil asked.

"Okay, so, what? Do you practice your eyeshadow for hours on end? Write angsty poetry?"

Virgil sighed, thinking about all the things he couldn't give away. "I mean, I guess I listen to music?"

"That's a great idea!" Roman said, a little too quickly and loudly. He waved his hand at the TV. "Go… Plug your phone into that, make it do the thing."

Virgil got up and began fumbling with the assorted wires at the back of the TV. "Are you sure? It's not exactly party music."

"Well, it's your party." Roman smiled. "You call the shots. And…" He hesitated, embarrassed. "Well, you know. We appreciate you, scary screamo-emo music and all."

After a fair amount of fiddling with the remote and plugging random cords into random sockets, Virgil finally got his phone hooked up to the TV.

"There!" Roman said happily, flashing his teeth again. " Now it's a party!"

Virgil sat back down on the couch and tried to make a pleasant face back. He had hoped that the music would make him feel more at ease, but all it did was bring back painful memories of bass filtering down into the basement, of complaining with Remus and Janus about their upstairs compatriots' taste in music.

Even now, the bass crawled into him and buzzed painfully against his bones, vibrating in his skull. With his heart already racing from the caffeine, the throb in his chest became almost painful. Virgil stared, wide-eyed, at the floor trying to keep his breathing in check. If he could just focus on what Roman was saying…

What was Roman saying? Virgil watched his lips move, but all he could hear was the thrum of the bass. Was this even real?

It took Roman a long moment to realize that Virgil wasn't listening, his attention turned inwards rather than outwards. Realization came with an unpleasant twist of concern in his stomach. Virgil was staring at the floor, his eyeshadow a sickly gray.

All thoughts of irritation and playful pouting fled Roman's mind in an instant. "Uh, hey. You okay?"

Virgil took too long to respond. "...Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." He blinked hard, drummed his fingers against his temple. Awareness came back to him, marginally less unpleasant than it had been before. "Do you… do you mind if I turn the music down?" Surely that was no great transgression.

"Sure, be my guest" Roman said, truly ambivalent. He smiled a little and hummed to himself as Virgil fumbled with the remote.

"Hey, kiddos!" Patton stumbled out of the kitchen, Logan's hand firm between his shoulder blades. "Logan says I'm not allowed in the kitchen anymore." He smiled, unbothered, and sandwiched himself between Virgil and Roman on the couch. "Is this okay?" he asked Virgil.

"Yeah," said Virgil, unsure if he meant it. He leaned a little into Patton's side and decided it was okay. More than okay. Where it had overwhelmed him before, the gentle warmth of Patton's proximity now grounded him and calmed him down.

Like…

Like Remus did.

Roman, oblivious to Virgil's inner crisis, tossed his head. "Did you try to eat the dough again?"

"No," Logan called from the kitchen. "He tried to make glitter slime with the egg whites."

Virgil and Roman made twin faces of disgust; Patton only laughed and said, "I was egg-slime-ted to try something new!"

"Oh, no," Roman murmured, drawing one hand down his face.

Virgil raised an eyebrow and said, "Was it at least food grade glitter?"

"No," Logan answered, still out of sight. "It was craft glitter."

" What were you making?" Virgil asked, then realized his mistake. "Uh, before the egg slime."

"Cupcakes," Patton said.

"I already told you that," Roman said.

"Sorry, man." Virgil gave Roman a fake smile. "Sometimes when you start talking, all I can hear is refrigerator noise."

"Funky beets," Patton said, nodding.

Virgil stared at him. "You keep beets in the refrigerator?"

Patton wasn't listening. "Ooh! Brocc-n-roll!"

The conversation dissolved into increasingly dubious vegetable puns, which Virgil avoided contributing to. He was more than content to sit back and watch Roman's and Patton's energies bounce off each other as the conversation grew increasingly absurd.

It was moments like these that made Virgil think, maybe things would be okay after all. Change was scary but Virgil had his friends.

Logan emerged from the kitchen a few minutes later, uncharacteristically ruffled. Flour left chalky marks on his shirt and tie, and glitter clung to his fingers despite all his efforts at the kitchen sink.

"Hi," Virgil said with a lazy wave. "Please stop them."

"What are they doing?" Logan asked. "I stopped listening when they started making puns." He sat down in the chair that sat perpendicular to the couch and looked expectantly at Virgil.

"Still puns," Virgil said. "Endless puns."

"It's fine," Roman said. "We can be done with puns."

"Only if you ask nicely!" Patton said. They all peered at him expectantly. "You said no more puns," he said, confused. "Should I have made one?"

"No need, Patton," Logan said hurriedly.

"Digging the new look, by the way," Virgil said by way of pointing out that Logan was covered in flour.

Logan squinted at him, puzzled, then looked down at himself. "Ah. One of the many hazards of working in a kitchen." He imagined his clothes clean and nodded in satisfaction at the result.

Unable to help himself, Virgil added, "Other hazards include: Setting your stove on fire, setting your self on fire." He paused, thinking. "Ants."

Patton took his cue to counteract Virgil's anxiety. "But if you don't take the risk, then you don't get the reward!"

"Cupcakes!" Roman said with equal enthusiasm.

The oven timer beeped.

Logan frowned. "It hasn't even been two minutes."

"I got impatient," Roman said, and kept going to try to talk his way out of a lecture on hard work. "And besides, don't we all have better things to do than sit around and wait for cupcakes to bake? Such as eating cupcakes?"

"Roman's right," Patton said.

Logan considered this, pushing up his glasses. "I suppose I could use the extra time to get some work done."

"Wow, Teach, you're leaving us just like that?" Virgil said instead of asking Logan to stay.

"Not before cupcakes he's not," Patton said firmly. "Roman?"

"Say no more." Roman made an extravagant hand gesture, and a tray of cooled, perfectly frosted cupcakes appeared on the coffee table.

"I was going to frost them," Logan said. "And I do have to wonder what the point was of having Patton and I bake in the first place."

"Oh, it seemed like a good idea at the time." Roman waved Logan off. "Anyway, Purple Menace, it's your party. You get the first cupcake."

"Thanks." Virgil grabbed one at random before he could start worrying about if there was a right or wrong answer. "So," he said, forcing himself out of his comfort zone, "since it is my party and all… Do you guys think you might want to spend the rest of the day with me? Only if you want to. It's cool if not."

"Of course we will!" Patton said, only just resisting the urge to wrap his arms around Virgil.

"Yeah," Roman said readily, "sure."

They all looked at Logan, who nodded. "If that's what you want."

Virgil looked down to hide his smile.

Virgil kept unusual hours at the best of times, plagued by insomnia and racing thoughts.

Tonight was no different. In fact, tonight was worse. After the day ended and the warmth and comfort of his friends faded away, Virgil found himself alone with his thoughts.

Thoughts that kept straying to Remus and Janus. The reality of their anger at him twisted in his stomach and stoked the fires of rage in his own chest until he was burning with it. Some friends th ey were, turning on him the second he tried to improve his own situation. They knew better than anyone just how much he'd disliked tormenting Thomas and antagonizing the others.

Virgil let out an angry huff and punched the volume button on his headphones. He knew better than to try to go to bed when he was this worked up, so he turned to his tried and true method of drowning out his thoughts: turning up his music until he felt it in his jaw.

It didn't work.

Virgil ripped his headphones off and tossed them away from him, careful even in his anger to not do anything that would cause them to break. He stood and crossed his arms over his chest. It was late enough that everyone else was probably asleep. He could go down to the kitchen and eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag without any questioning eyes on him.

He sank out of his room and popped up in the kitchen so focused on his goal that he didn't even notice Patton standing by the sink.

Patton in turn didn't notice Virgil until they both jumped in fright at the sensation of something in their peripherals.

"Oh!" Patton covered his mouth with his hand and took in a deep breath. "You scared me, kiddo!"

Virgil fell against the fridge, taking in a few deep breaths of his own. "Likewise."

Patton looked Virgil over, raising an eyebrow at Virgil's attire. "Late night?"

"Pretty much always. What about you?"

"I couldn't sleep," Patton said, glancing at Virgil to check in with him before continuing, "I was kinda worried about you."

Virgil shuffled over so he could nudge Patton with his hip. "C'mon, worrying is my job."

"I know," Patton said fondly. "I just… I want you to know that we care about you, and… Well, I just keep thinking about what you probably had to put up with living with Deceit and the Duke, and I'm a little concerned they might, y'know, try something."

"Oh," said Virgil, as a shot of panic rang his body like a bell.

"But don't worry!" Patton said. "We'll keep you safe!"

"Oh, dear." Janus flashed into view between them and looked at them both in turn. "Safe from what? "

"Um," said Patton, blushing up to his ears. "Heya, Deceit."

Janus dipped his chin and fixed Patton with an amused smirk that he had never practiced in his bathroom mirror. "Morality." He leaned back against the counter and waved a hand. "Oh, don't let me interrupt you. Please do tell Anxiety what it is you're going to keep him safe from."

"Ah," said Patton, fidgeting. "Um. It was sort of a private conversation."

"You can trust me." Janus touched his fingertips to his chest, expression open. "Have I ever given you a reason not to?"

"I guess not, no."

"So go ahead." Janus stared Patton down, delighting in his discomfort.

Virgil recovered his wits and only just managed to keep himself from snarling like a dog. "Leave him alone."

"Me?" Janus grinned at Virgil, revealing mismatched canines. "I'm harmless."

A sudden memory flashed through Virgil's mind: He and Janus eavesdropping on their upstairs neighbors. "Wait, were you just waiting by the door for me to show up?"

"No," Janus lied, spitting out the word too quickly. He saw no need whatsoever to let Virgil know that Janus had wanted to check on him and make sure the Lights weren't unduly punishing him for the perceived transgression of having once been 'Dark'. In fact, he'd gone into this with no intention of interacting with Patton at all, but he never could resist the opportunity to make a dramatic entrance.

"Dude." Virgil scoffed, smiling incredulously. "That's so lame."

Janus examined the back of one hand, propping up a facade of cool indifference. "More or less lame than listening to the same My Chemical Romance song 58 times in a row?" Janus teased, sweeping his gaze down Virgil's face. "By your estimate?"

Virgil was about to answer when he noticed Patton staring at him in confusion. He caught hold of his anger again and injected it into his words. "Did you actually want something or did you just come around to try to scare me?"

"This was a common area last time I checked," Janus said, pretending to look around.

Virgil would have liked to have pressed him. For all his scheming and planning, Janus had never mastered the art of the contingency plan. If Virgil taunted him, told him to carry on with his business in the kitchen, Janus would stutter out an excuse, turn tail, and flee.

But there was Patton, watching their rapport with interest and concern, and Virgil couldn't risk handing him any more pieces of the puzzle. Even Patton, who saw the best in everyone, seemed to believe that Janus and Remus had held Virgil hostage all those years. What would he say if he knew the truth?

Virgil took Patton by the hand. "Don't let us stop you, then. Come on, Pat." He sank out, hoping Patton would follow him to his room.

Patton took the hint and rose up by Virgil's door. He looked around uneasily at the spider curtains and the white webbing strung across the walls, but no wave of wild-eyed panic struck his mind. "That's funny."

"Haha," Virgil said, instantly regretting his weak attempt at humor. "Sorry. What's funny?"

"I'm not quite as scared as I was last time," Patton said.

Virgil stared at the purple-plated switch Roman had made earlier. "No way. No way that worked. Ugh, he's going to be insufferable if he finds out." Patton smiled vacantly and nodded. Virgil said , "Don't say anything to Roman, but you should be good to spend time in here with me. I-if you want to."

"Do you want to talk about what just happened?" Patton asked, not moving from the doorway. Even in the absence of blind panic, he could still feel phantom legs crawling across his bare skin if he stared at any one piece of spider decor for too long.

"I don't know," Virgil said, sighing heavily. "Are you okay?"

Patton couldn't help but shudder as he tried to tear his eyes away from Virgil's spider tank. He swallowed down his fear. Virgil needed him. He could be brave if it meant helping Virgil feel better. "Oh, don't worry about me." He forced himself not to think and crossed the room so he could sit next to Virgil on the bed. "How do you feel?"

"I don't know," Virgil said, unable to look Patton in the eye. This was his drama to worry about, not anyone else's. He shouldn't-- couldn't burden Patton with this. Lies danced on the tip of his tongue, so bitter he could almost taste them. He wondered if Janus could sense it, if Janus was laughing at him on the basement stairs. "It's over between us," Virgil said.

"Was it…" Patton hesitated. "I mean, were they… It's just that you're so sweet, and Deceit and the Duke are so scary . And… I mean, Deceit never comes into the kitchen. D'you think he was going to--" Patton broke off with a shudder. " Try something?"

Virgil couldn't even bring himself to protest at the idea that Patton didn't find him scary anymore, awash in nostalgia; half-formed memories of coffee on hazy mornings, reluctant cuddle piles on the couch, bickering for the sake of it, all warming and chilling him at the same time. "Maybe," Virgil said. It wasn't technically a lie, he told himself, just a misdirection. And if it kept Patton safe from Janus' mind games then Virgil would tell a thousand lies, never mind what that said about him. "He can be pretty scary when he wants to be.

"And you're okay?" Patton asked, still concerned. "You still seem pretty shaken up." Virgil was pale and his eyeshadow had gone dangerously dark. Patton wanted to wrap him up in a blanket and never let anything bad happen to him again, his chest ached with it.

"I didn't like how Deceit talked to you," Virgil said, and a burst of anger formed out of the fear for one incandescent moment. Janus had been playing a game with Patton, but it wasn't fair when Patton didn't know the rules. Janus would weave threats and insults into his words but never once speak impolitely or out of turn, and push and goad and tease until he found a breaking point. He had pinned Patton's back against the wall in less than a minute and would have kept toying with him just for the game of it had Virgil not stepped in. Virgil had been the victim of this trick before, in much more lighthearted circumstances. Janus would put words in your mouth and then condemn you for them with the holier-than-thou countenance of a tithe-stealing priest. "He's dangerous to talk to. Promise me you'll come get me if he ever catches you alone, okay?"

"Sure, kiddo." Patton didn't fully understand, but if it was important to Virgil, then it was important to him, too. He held up his pinkie. "Pinkie swear."

"Oh," said Virgil, softening. "We don't have to--"

"It's legally binding," Patton said seriously.

Virgil smiled despite himself and hooked pinkies with Patton. "Okay. Pinkie swear."

Patton drew his hand back and smothered a yawn behind it. "Sorry, kiddo, it's just a little be-yawn-d my bedtime. But I'm happy to stay up with you as long as you need!"

Guilt flooded Virgil's mind, choking out rationality and guiding him toward panic. "Oh, jeeze, I'm sorry. I won't keep you up."

“Aw, it’s okay,” Patton said, not missing the way Virgil’s body tensed up and his breathing quickened. “I’ll stay up with you all night if you want me to. We could even make a blanket fort. Just maybe…” He wiggled in place, thinking of spiders again. “Maybe in the living room or the hall.”

"It's okay, Pat." Virgil stifled a yawn of his own, burying his face in the collar of his hoodie. "Think I'm gonna crash soon, anyway." A small, cruel part of him protested at the idea that he would need special treatment and desperately wanted to throw it back in Patton's face. He wasn't a sweetheart, he wasn't a baby. He didn't need to crawl into a blanket fort with Dad just because he was a little stressed.

Okay, so he was a lot stressed, but he still didn't need coddling. He wasn't Roman .

"Should I go, then?" Patton asked, glancing at the door. He had seen Virgil's face go sour and adjusted his approach accordingly. It went against his nature, against his function, to leave someone upset without doing everything he could to fix it, but he was perceptive enough to grasp that Virgil wanted space.

Virgil nodded and yawned again, the ugliness draining from his face as though it had never been there at all. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Good night, Virgil." Patton stood, but hovered in the doorway. "Want me to get your light?"

Virgil kicked off his shoes and nodded. "Sure." Virgil hoped that Roman hadn't shuffled his clothing around too much. He wasn't in the mood to hunt for his pajamas in the dark. "See you in the morning?"

Patton nodded, turned off the light, and left.

#virgil sanders #spicywrites #spicywrites a place where i can breathe

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