#they dont have any Lori Clothes this is bullshit

[missusgrimes]

make your muse

tagged by: @godblessrickgrimes / @wexarethewalkingxdead tagging: @stillcominback / @storymade / @staysaliive / @ronandersons / @wcrldbeaten / @leftlimp / @thelcstsister / @aintlikeitwasbefore / @secondkira​

[thewalkingdead-fan101]

In This Hell Daryl Dixon X Reader Part 7/??

Hey guys! So chapter seven is here! Im not the best at writing, but like many other writers, I did try my best and I hope you like it! Also most of the streets I have written into this chapter I made up on the spot, so if there is an actual street by that name it was purely coincidental.

Warnings- Light smut?, General Walking Dead stuff, Blood, Gore, Swearing.

It had felt like forever, sitting outside of the door that separated Daryl and myself. Lori was still sitting beside me, which feels more constricting than not, not that I had the heart to tell her.

At this point, I have memorised each and every detail etched into the door. I looked over to where Lori sat next to me, one hand resting against her forehead, the other resting against my shoulder. I reached my hand over and placed it over her own and smiled softly as she turned her head. “Thank you.” I whispered. “Dont be stupid.” She responded, a small chuckle escaping her lips. The click of the latch received both of our attention, I looked back towards the door to see Rick emerge.

“Here.” Lori extended her hand to me. “Thanks.” I took her hand and nodded as she helped me up. I look at Rick, and he smiled softly. “He’ll be alright.” “Oh thank god.” I hugged him “Now god ain’t had nothing to do with it.” Shane walked out behind Rick.

Rick walked over to Lori and hugged his wife. “I’ll tell you what.” Shane paused, walking over to me. “That is one tough son of a bitch in there.” He pointed towards the door, bringing me into a hug. I rolled my eyes as I hugged him back. “Hershel is just giving him another look over.” I look up to my brother. “Its just to ensure that he doesn’t have any other injuries.” Rick added. I slowly nodded my head, and sat down in the single seat next to the door. Rick kissed his wife before leaving Lori, Shane and myself in the hallway as we waited for Hershel.

After waiting another ten or so minutes, Hershel exiting the room. “The bullet only grazed his head.” He paused. I stood up from the seat and nodded. “The arrow in his side went straight through, missed his important organs.” “He is okay other than that?” ��That and a few bruised ribs, he will be fine, however I would recommend a resting period of a few days, But.” He paused, glancing at the door. “I don’t think that he would take that advice.” He continued.  “He is a stubborn bastard.” I muttered, looking at the door nodding. “He is asleep, but you can go in and see him.” “Thank you so much Hershel.” I smiled and pulled him into a hug. I pulled back and smiled softly at him, before turning to the door, quietly entering the room.

The first thing I noticed when I entered the room was the small dresser by the window, and the cross hanging next to the door above the bed. Daryl was on the bed, peacefully sleeping on his side, mouth slightly parted as soft snores broke the silence of the room. I stood at the edge of the bed, unsure if I should sit on the side of the bed or bring in the seat from the hall. “Are ‘Ya just gonna stand there?” A rough mumble came from the bed, startling me from my thoughts. “You’re meant to be sleeping.” I sighed.

“How am I meant to sleep when ya always staring at me.” I sat down on the bed next to him, softly pushing his hair back. “Go back to sleep, you need to rest.” He only grumbled in response as he shook his head. “Nah, I can sleep when im dead.” “If you dont rest that could be sooner than you think.” “I’m fine.” He scoffed. I rolled my eyes. We spent a few moments just staring at one another, the small breaths from us both the only thing we could hear.

“What happened out there Daryl?” I sighed. He winced lightly as he propped himself up on his elbow, “Took one of them horses, damn thing near killed me.” He paused. “Got spooked by something, kicked me off.” He continued.

“Thats where the bruising came from Im guessing.” I spoke softly tracing the bruises that littered his torso. “Fell down the ridge, landed in the creek with my own arrow in me.” He motioned to his side, pausing as my eyes landed on the gauze.

“Took down a few walkers.”

“Daryl!” “I know what ya ‘bout to say. Im fine.” He stated.

I sighed softly shaking my head.

“What if you couldn’t get back? What then Daryl?” I asked. “Y’all woulda been fine, I don’t belong ‘ere anyway.” He shrugged. “How can you say that?” I asked pushing myself off of the bed.

I could feel his eyes boring into me as I paced back and forth.

“You say that you don’t belong here, but you do. You can even feed me more bullshit about how you don’t, I dare you.” I challenged. “if you did not come back, every single fibre of my being would be out there searching for you.” I paused.

I took a deep breath, turning to look at him.

“Look, wether you like it or not Daryl, I care about you, I care for you and nothing in this world will ever change that Dixon.” He kept his eyes on me, watching my every move.

“Call me selfish, call me crazy, hell you can even call me dramatic! But a part of me would've died if you didn't come back.”  

I paused for a brief moment as i tried to fight the tears.

Stupid, damn hormones.

“Stop working ya self up.” “Believe it or not, that isn’t an easy thing to do.” I sighed “why?” “Because im scared… im scared of losing you.” I paused.

I took a small step back.

“Im so damn scared, because for the first time in my life I have something to lose, someone.”

He continued to stare at me, staying silent as he listened to my rambling, as I started to pace once more.

“Im not trying to fight you Daryl. I just want you safe.” “I love ya..”

“I need you around, our baby needs you around. I-“

I paused, looking at him.

“What did you just say?”

“I love ya.” He shrugged.

“This isn’t something to joke about right now.” I sigh placing my hand against my forehead, rubbing my temple.

“I aint joking.”

“Daryl-“ I ran my hand over my face, before dropping it to my side. “Ya’ gonna say it back? Or do I need to go back ou-“ “Don’t even think about finishing that sentence Dixon.” I warned as he grabbed my hand and pulled me softly back to the bed.

I sat on the mattress and started to lay down.

My hands found his stubbled cheeks, our eyes connected and I drowned out the world for those crystal blue eyes. “I love you Daryl Dixon.”

I could feel his hands pull my face closer to his as we let reality fade away, the two of us escaping in the kiss.

Daryl rolled over to his back, gently pulling me with him.

We pulled apart as he grabbed the hem of my shirt, lifting it over my head and flinging it across the room, attacking my lips once again with his own.

He moved his hands down, across my body slowly, snaking them around my hips, lifting my body over his, leaving me to straddle him.

His hands gripped to my hips, not letting go, his nails leaving soft red crescent shaped indentations against my skin.

The skin on skin contact, his chest pressed against my own igniting a whirlwind of lust between us both.

I leant down and captured his lips in a deep kiss.

Daryls hands moved down to my ass, his fingers kneading the soft flesh as our tongues fought for dominance. 

I could feel him hardening against my inner thigh, drawing a soft mewl from my lips.

He pulled me closer, one of his hands slipping in between our bodies, moving to cup my breast.

Daryl softly pushed me back, starting to unbutton my jeans, working quickly to remove them.

Each soft touch of his fingers against my bare skin, caused shivers to run down my spine. 

I leant down and peppered kisses all over Daryls neck, from his Adam’s apple, to behind his left ear where even though he won’t admit it, Is his sweet spot.

Daryls hands harshly grabbed my ass, before softly growling into my ear, rolling his hips into my own.

I reached behind me and unclasped my bra, Daryl pulling it off of me and throwing it to the floor, kissing down my chest, one hand cupping one of my breasts, the other resting behind me.

He pulled my body closer to his, before groaning out in pain.

My eyes shot open and I softly move off of Daryl.

“Shit, Daryl. Are you alright?” I asked moving to examine his abdomen.

“I’m fine.” He responds, grumbling as he ran his hands over his face in frustration.

I bend down pick up my bra from the floor and put it on, I take another look around the room for the rest of my clothes.

I see my jeans and jump slightly, shimmying them on.

My eyes search the room once again, spotting my shirt hanging off of the dresser, I walked over and snatched it off.

“What are ya’ doing?” He asked as I slipped the shirt over my head.

“You’re hurt, we aren’t doing that.” I scoffed.

Daryl let a groan of frustration out and laid back, annoyance clear on his features.

I crawled onto the bed, kissing under his navel.

“(Y/N)?” he asked, brow raised.

I look up at him through my lashes, smirking as he started to breathe heavy.

I kissed down his stomach, my hands softly moving down his chest and into his waistband.

He moaned softly as my hand slipped further down his pants.

A knock on the door made us both sigh.

“Ya’ gotta be shitting me.” Daryl muttered, turing his back to the door, pulling the blanket up to cover himself.

I stood up, making my way to the door, opening it to be met with Carol.

“Hey honey.” She smiled softly.

“Hey Carol, Whats up?” “I was just dropping in to let you know dinner is ready, I brung some up for Daryl.” She smiled as she lifted a plate.

“Oh, thank you, I’ll come down and get some.” I smiled nodding softly.

I moved aside as she walked in and set the plate down.

“Ill see you soon.” I kissed Daryls cheek.

He nodded.

I left the room as Carol asked if he was okay, getting few words from the man in response.

It was a quiet walk to the dining area, but it was even more quiet there, the only sound audible being the knives and forks hitting the plates.

I took the seat in-between Andrea and Lori.

The silence had lasted about five minutes, although it felt like 5 years, and was broken by Glenn’s voice.

“Does anybody know how to play Guitar?” He paused.

“Dale found a cool one… Somebody’s gotta know how to play.” He smiled.

My head turned to Patricia as she cleared her throat.

“Otis did.” She spoke.

“Yes, and he was very good too.” Hershel confirmed.

We all continued to eat in what was now an awkward silence.

I looked around the table, to notice Shane staring longingly at Lori, I scoffed under my breath and shook my head.

The guy doesn’t know what is good for him.

Slowly but surely, everyone started finishing up their meals.

After Hershel has finished eating, he stood.

“Rick, There are matters for us to discuss.” The man mentioned stood and followed Hershel out.

Carol stood and started to clear the table.

The rest of us following, picking up plates, cutlery and glassware, taking them to the kitchen.

“Dinner was great.” Beth smiled.

“It was lovely, thank you.” Patricia added.

I started to wipe over the clean dishes after Patricia had washed them, Maggie putting them away as both Carol and Lori collected more dishes.

The six of us had the place cleaned up in half an hour.

Lori had left to be with Carl, Carol was with Dale and T-dog in the RV, Beth had gone with Jimmy, Patricia had gone to her room.

A rush of wind passed me and almost knocked me down.

“Im sorry!” Maggie called out as she ran out of the door.

I chuckled as she profusely apologised as she continued running.

I turned and started to make my way back to Daryl’s room.

“(Y/n)?”

I turned to see Hershel walking toward me.

“Good evening Hershel… What can I do for you?” “I understand that you and Daryl are in a relationship?’ He asked.

“Yes sir.” “I’d appreciate it, if the two of you were separated for the night.” “Pardon?” I asked. “You’re both adults, you can survive a night in a different bed.” He stated, brows raised.

“Oh… Right.” I nodded.

“Do I make myself clear?” 

“Of course Hershel.” “Thank you.” He nodded, turning on his heel and leaving.

I continued my walk to Daryl’s room and peeked my head through the crack in the door, being met with his soft snores.

I softly closed the door and started the walk to my tent.

I was startled awake by a foreign presence in the tent, soft breaths hitting the back of my neck.

I looked down, to see an arm draped over my body, a hand resting over my stomach.

“Relax. S’me.”

I let go of my breath, that I didn’t even realise I was holding.

“What the hell are you doing out here?” I asked, turning to face him.

“I woke up. Ya weren’t there.”

“You were asleep… you even looked peaceful.” “Ya could’a stayed, slept in a bed.” “I just wanted you to rest.” “I can’t sleep now anyway.” He muttered, pulling me closer to him under the cover, pressing a small kiss to my lips, before settling back down.

The door slightly blew against the breeze.

I looked outside and watched as the soft glow of the early morning sun reflected on the dewy grass.

I felt my consciousness slip away.

My eyes opened, I looked around to be met with an empty tent.

I stretch and get changed, poking my head out of the small door.

The sun, not as harsh as the day prior.

A smile is on my face in an instant as soon as I noticed Carl by the chicken coop with Lori.

I rushed out of my tent and walked over to the pair, waving at Dale as I passed him.

Carl had bent down, reaching his hand into the bucket of feed for the chickens, slightly pausing, causing Lori to move forward.

“Dont look so worried.” “It’s my job.” “No it’s not. You’re a housewife.”

I held in my laughter.

Lori threw the remaining seed in her hand at the boy.

“Yeah, punk? You see my house around here?” She paused.

“A housewife.” She scoffed.

“Im pretty sure your house is just over there.” I laughed, pointing at the Grimes’ tent.

Carl laughed more as Lori picked up more seed, throwing it directly into my face, before she laughed too.

“Think you’re funny huh? The pair of you.” She chuckled, rolling her eyes. “I do actually, Carl, how about you?” I asked smirking

Lori shook her head as we waited for Carls response, after a moment we still hadn’t heard a response.

I turned my head to see him staring at a small group of baby chicks.

“They don't have a mother.” 

“She might be somewhere else.” Lori tried to ensure he didn’t worry. “Yeah, she might still be inside the coop.” I agreed.

“Maybe she got eaten.” Carl paused.

I turned to face Lori, who sat in shock, watching her sons every move.

Carl looked between the both of us, before continuing. “Everything is food for something else.” I tried to respond but was cut off by the door inside of the coop slamming shut, spooking some of the hens at our feet.

A twig snapped to the right of me, looking over I see Rick waking over to see his wife and son. 

“Morning (Y/n).” “Morning Rick, have you seen Shane?“ “He was out fixing a boundary fence, should be back soon.” He smiled, hugging Lori from the side. I nodded my head in thanks, before leaving the small family to greet one another.

The walk to the tent, was a short, boring one, looking around at my surroundings, my foot snagging on a branch that I could’ve sworn wasn’t there moments before.

“(Y/n)! Are you alright?” Andrea asked, rushing over.

“Im fine, thank you.” I nodded.

“I saw you trip.” “I’m okay, I didn’t even hit the ground, im a pretty good catch.” I softly joked. “I don’t think you should be joking around this is serious.” “So is shooting Daryl.” I shot back.

Andrea looked down, clearly upset.

“Andrea, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that… That wasn’t fair on you.”

“No, its okay. I mean I get it. I shot Daryl, and you’re pissed.” “It was an accident. Im not mad at you, thats was a defensive mechanism.” “So, are we good?” She asked.

I nodded, earning a smile from her, before she pulled me into a hug. “id be lying if I said I haven’t ever wanted to shoot him myself.” I laughed letting go from the hug, causing her to laugh along with me.

“Apparently we all have.” She chuckled.

“I was actually on my way to see Daryl, to apologise to him, give him this book.” She held up ‘The case of the missing man’.

“Thats a great idea. Does it have pictures?” “What do pictures have to do with it?”

“Don’t let him give you a hard time. He will complain, just tell him to suck it up.” I smiled.

“Are you coming to see him?” “I was on my way to see him, but I think it’s best if I let you go in alone.” “I can come back later.” “Andrea, it snow or never.” I smiled.

She sighed, before looking at me and smiling.

“Im going.” 

She turned on her heel and headed in the same direction I was before hand.

I walked further down and seated myself on one of the protruding tree trunks.

I leant my head back and let the warm breeze dance across my skin, softly moving my hair.

The peace and quiet was short lived however as two voices kept moving closer.

“Shh. Just trust me on this, okay?” I heard Maggie plead.

“But I suck at lying. I can't even play poker. It's too much like lying.” Glenn whispered.

“You have to keep this to yourself. You have to. Please.” She desperately begged.

I shifted my head, now watching Maggie leave a conflicted Glenn.

After a moment, Glenn looked around and hastily made his way to the RV with a basket.

A bribe maybe….

I waited for five minutes before moving, not wanting to alarm either party if they had returned or forgotten something.

Walking to my tent, I thought about the whispers between Glenn and Maggie, wondering if it was about the two of them sneaking around together, or if there was something more serious happening.

As I got to my tent I found it empty.

One of Daryl’s arrows sitting on the small mattress that we shared, next to the mesh which now had holes littering the bottom from the arrow.

I shook my head and smiled, he obviously would’ve been bored.

I left the tent, and started to search for Daryl or Shane.

Both of which can apparently turn the Greene farm into a game of ‘Where’s Waldo’.

I grabbed the keys for Shane’s Hyundai and made my way over to it, pretty quickly reaching the car, I sat in the drivers seat and started the engine.

I sat in the car and noticed Glenn and Lori at the camp fire visibly disagreeing over something, Lori, acting discrete as Glenn was pushing the subject, whatever it was.

“What is going on in this group?” I muttered under my breath.

I jumped as a loud bang sounded from the passenger seat window, which I wound down for him.

I held my chest as I looked at the culprit, Shane with a dirty smirk.

“What are you doing?”

“I was going to go for a run.” “And not tell anyone?”

“I was originally going to ask If you wanted to join me.” “I ain’t going with you.” He shook his head.

“Fine. Then don’t.” I smiled, putting the car in drive.

“Hey!” Shane exclaimed noticing my movement.

“Im going on this run Shane, with you or with out you, make a decision.” “Fine! I’ll come!”

“That’s what I thought. Now. Get in.”

The car moved when Shane opened the door, making sure to noticeably throw himself angrily into the seat, and slam the door, finally letting me start the journey.

“What is with the attitude?”

“Believe me, if you had a pain in the ass like you for a sister you have one too.” “I have you for a brother. I know the pain.” “Where are we even going?” He asked as we neared the gate.

“I overheard Beth and Jimmy talking last night after dinner, Jimmy had told Beth that there is a house on maple street that looked pretty, from what I could see on the map it looks like it’s ten minutes out.”

I stopped the car at the gate.

Shane, opening the his door and running to the gate to open it, letting me drive through to the other side, before he shut it again, getting back in the passenger seat.

“A house that looked pretty? That is a stupid lead.” He shook his head, turning to look at me.

“Shane, if it looks pretty, im assuming that there’s no walkers around, it could be an easy supply raid.” “What if its over-run?” “Then we deal with it like we would any other time.” “We.” He pointed between us both. “Aren’t dealing with it. I am dealing with it.” He pointed at himself.

I rolled my eyes at his antics.

“You do realise that I have a heart, internal organs, a brain and skin right? Im not made from porcelain.” “You’re my sister, who is carrying a foetus.” “Dont call it that.” “What do I call it then?”

“Tadpole, Bean, Nugget. I don’t care, just don’t call it a foetus.” “Nugget? What kind of name is nugget?” Shane laughed.

“Im not naming it nugget. Jesus Shane. Im not naming it Bean or Tadpole either. It’s just a base name we are going to call it until it’s born.”

“Have you thought of names yet?” “Are you really asking me that?” “Is Spartacus still on the list of names?” He laughed. “Oh shut up!” “Wait, wait, wait, my favourite was always Fabio.” He laughed harder than before. “Then name your kid that.” I hit his arm, laughing with him.

“I ain’t having kids. Especially not after you have your kid. Having that one around is enough.” He laughed.

“Come on, Spartacus needs a cousin, and it looks like you and Andrea are getting close.” I teased.

“Shut up.” He sulked.

“Oh, have I hit a nerve? Does Shane Walsh have a crush on Andrea?” “Seriously, shut up, focus on the road, or you’ll get us lost.”

I smirked and shook my head as we turned onto Bellman Parade.

“Keep an eye out for Maple.”

“Im not dumb.” “Clearly you are, Andrea is great.” I smiled looking at him, to get a death glare in response.

“Maple is the next left.” He stated.

I turned left onto what could only be described as a rich area.

“I doubt these houses would have supplies.” “Can you not be a negative Nancy, who knows what’s hoarded in these houses.” “Exactly! There could be a horde.”

I pulled over on the curb infant of one of the houses, all of which are deserted and look untouched.

“We will start at house 23 and search all of them, see if we can get anything useful.”

“We aren’t separating.” “Clearly.”

We both walked onto the front porch of house number 23.

Shane opened the door, holding out his handgun infant of him, whistling into the house, waiting for any sign of movement or danger.

We waited a moment before he lowered the gun, handing it to me.

“Try not to use it. The last thing we need is every walker within a mile to come.” “I know Shane, save bullets, im not stupid.”

“I know, im just telling you to be careful.” “I appreciate it, now you search the ground floor and I’ll search upstairs.” 

He nodded.

I started to sweep through the rooms, finding small bandages, weak pain killers and a few protein bars that I found in a lunchbox.

I looked over the railing to see Shane searching the cabinet in the living room.

“Any luck?” “Not much, a few bullets, handgun and a few cans of food. What about you?”

“A few bandages, some pain killers, weak ass ones and three protein bars.”

“Alright, let’s check the next house.”

“Okay, im coming down.” 

I noticed the draw string for the attic Hanging softly.

“Shane! Come up here for a second!” “Why” “Just hurry up!” “Okay, im coming.” He muttered coming up.

“Pull the drawstring down.” “Why do you want to go up into a creepy attic?” “What if they have a weapons box up there?” “It’d be extremely lucky to just guess there’s one.” He laughed grabbing it and pulling it down, the ladder slowly emerging from the ceiling.

Before the ladder had a chance to hit the ground, dust was crumbling from the opening.

I swatted the dust from my face and sneezed.

“Looks like you’re still a geek.” Shane snickered.

“Ow!” He pulled his arm back, rubbing where my fist connected with his arm.

I climbed the ladder and looked around the attic.

Boxes labelled from numerous festive seasons, to ‘dad’s trophies 1988’, to ‘home videos’ and ‘1967-2009 family photos’.

I stepped into the attic and ventured further into the dim space.

I began moving the boxes out of the way, searching in various ones to see what we could utilise.

“Any luck?” Shane called out from the ladder.

“Not yet.” I called out searching another unlabelled box.

I discarded the box to the side, the box hitting one of the chairs. 

A domino affect had spilt a few of the boxes, one of which had gardening equipment that had spread over the floor boards.

“(Y/n)! Hey! Are you okay?” I heard Shane and his heavy steps running in my direction. 

“Yeah. I’m good.” I breathed out

“I found these shears, hatchets, multi-tools.”

“If there’s any rope, grab it.”

“I know Shane.”

I look to my right noticing the extra pair of hands searching through the contents of the box.

“Let’s take what we have so far to the car.”

 I nodded in agreement, moving back towards the ladder.

We searched the next three houses and found various food cans, more medicine, even a first aid box that was filled to the brim.

The fifth house we entered, both the front door and the back door had been wide open.

“Might have a few neighbours.” Shane said as he walked onto the porch.

“Wait out here, I’ll go in and see what we’re dealing with.”

“What if-“ “I will handle it.”

I nodded and waited while Shane did a run through, entering the house when he gave the signal.

This house was empty, compared to the others.

“We will start on this floor, work our way up.” Shane nodded, entering one of the bathrooms.

On then entire ground floor we couldn’t find anything.

“We might have better luck upstairs..” I suggested, making my way up to the next floor.

“Maybe.” He agreed.

My hand reached out to the door in front of me and I lightly pushed it open, pastel pink and blue wallpaper came into view.

I walked into the room, finding dual cribs in opposite corners of the room, a few scattered plush toys on the ground, the walls were ruined with blood splattering along the wall nearest the crib at the window.

 A few photos discarded from a photo album that had been thrown around.

I picked up one of the photos and examined it.

A gorgeous blonde woman sat next to a handsome man, each holding a baby in their arms.

“(Y/n)?” I felt Shane tap my shoulder.

“Huh? Yeah?”

“Ive been calling out for 10 minutes. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Sorry.” “What do you have?” “I just found this.” I paused and showed him the picture.

“I hope they got out safely.” I continued. “Im sure they did.” He took the picture and placed it on the shelf.

“I think it’s time to go.” Shane held my arm and guided me from the room.

We walked back to the car and stopped before getting in.

“Do you want me to drive?” “I got it.” I shook my head with a soft smile.

Series Masterlist Next Part 

[arwaaxxi]

Why me?

Summary- Having Daryl confess his feelings for you, was the only thing you ever wanted in this ruined world. But what happens when Negan shows up and everything changes.

[PART FOUR]

[Previous part]  [Next part]

Characters - Father!RickxReader. DarylxReader. NeganxReader.

Note- it’s going to be a series.

Warnings- Smut in future parts, maybe? Violence. Abuse.

Number of words - 2120

It’s been weeks or a month, I don’t really know. That stupid hideous song kept playing loudly all the damn time. It didn’t really bother me. Not the cold empty lonely room I was in. Not the loud same song that was kept of repeat.

When Rick and Lori gave me up to some girl to take care of me, She used to held parties in the house all the time Loud music was her thing I was homeschooled so I never had any friends either.

I used to stay in my room for days So I was used to the lonely part Of course the loud music I used to tolerate when I was a kid, was totally different from now.

That time I could yell at her to lower it or take my frustration out on something, but here I couldn’t. I had continuous migraine, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle. I was used to sleeping in the loud music so that also didn’t matter.

What mattered is, I never actually slept. My body would lay down and rest But my brain was always active.

I could feel everything happen around me, every single foot step pass by my door. Every single noise My body would take rest, but my brain wouldn’t.

And that wasn’t because of what happened to me or what I witness or how I grew up. It started when I killed the first human, back at the prison.

When the governor was going to kill us all. 15 humans, 160 walkers.

Under all the dead, those walkers were still humans, people with lives and back story, people who were once doctors, children’s, parents, lovers, and god knows the list goes on and on.

Since then, it’s just my body sleeping not my brain.

What was really bad was the food. I owned few pets so I know pets food when I smell it

Fucking Dwight I’m going to fucking kill him Keeping me alive was a mistake. A very big one.

Would it kill them to get me some cereals? Some human food? Probably. I know if I stayed any longer here, I would lose my sanity, I could act all tough, but deep down I knew I’m nothing. I’m just a scared little girl, who was abandoned by her parents. And this is why they kept me in this empty room, so that these kind of thoughts, kill me and break me, I was my own greatest weakness Negan was smart, he knew how to bend me It’s just that I won’t bend for him Not now Not ever

My door was yanked open, the light that rushed in made me blind, I could only see white “Get up!” Dwight said as he yanked me up by my arms He walked and I followed, he knew I couldn’t run, where would I go? We reached a room, he opened the door. It looked like a clinic I stepped in and there was a familiar face there Oh god That bitch Dwight’s wife I think. I will kill her too Just for the fun of seeing Dwight suffer

“Hi Dee” she said as she saw Dwight. ’D’ that’s what I used to call Daryl too Both of them will pay She stood up, glancing at me like she recognized me “Y/n!” She exclaimed “Don’t talk to her!” Dwight scowled and I rolled my eyes. What was I gonna do to her? Stab her with my sharp words? “Whatever they say, just do it!” She told me and I shot her a glare “I said don’t talk to her!” Dwight scowled again

The doctor said some trash, i dont know I wasn’t listening, I was fine, they were just annoyed that I didn’t pull my hair out yet. They knew me so little and I knew them so well Cold blooded killers That’s all they were We walked out of the room and suddenly I was shoved to a wall, a hit in the back of my leg twisted my leg, forcing me to kneel, but I wouldn’t. I tried to stand up again but Dwight’s bloody hand was pushing me downwards

I heard chuckling and looked up, there he was, Negan! I looked around everyone was on their knee “Dwighty boi!” Negan laughed and walked past us Some guy stood in front of me with a gun pointed at me and Dwight shoved me into a seat I could take out that guy easily, but he wasn’t my concern Dwight. Negan. Those two fuckers! Dwight pulled me up and took me through a door that led somewhere outside

There was fence, and a lot of walkers around it, and people dressed in grey with big orange mark on there chest. Dwight took Daryl’s bow and shot one walker, he snickered “I’m getting the hang of this thing!” He told me. Oh I will kill him slowly. He suddenly pulled me and shoved me towards the fence A gasp escaped my mouth, startled by the sudden movement “That’s you bitch, unless you are smart, your choice!” He said thoughtfully “You could be like them, or me!”

Shoved me back into my room, I fell to the floor glaring at him, I wasn’t going to speak, to him. They were trying to break me I don’t break easy “Make it easy on yourself!” He said looking at the ground The nerve of that bitch “I ain’t going to kneel!” I hissed at him, bloody idiot “I said that too!” He glared “I ain’t no bitch like you!” “You are gonna.” He said as he slammed the door shut and the music was back playing

I clutched my hair tight I can’t handle this bullshit I started hitting the wall Screaming This is bullshit! Fucking idiots! Get control of yourself! I scolded myself This is what they want Then I won’t give in Calm down

Few days passed, and the guy who pointed the gun at me few days back opened the cell, giving me a sandwich, I hate their bloody food! They called him fat Joey, I think He looked at me, giving me pity looks and then closed the door

I don’t hear it locked This is a trap Don’t Don’t But I did

I went and checked and it was really unlocked Every bone in my body screamed ‘trap’ But I couldn’t take another day in this hell hole If I stayed longer I would break. I couldn’t break I needed to kill them

I walked through the corridors, trying to escape, being as quite and as sneaky as possible. A hand on my back made me turn and launch my fist in the person’s face Ouch, my fist

Looking up, I saw Dwight’s wife, holding her bleeding nose, looking at me through her fingers Yeah take that bitch “Go back.” She whispered and I gave her the Are-you-fucking-kidding-me look “Go back while you sill can” “Shut up!” I hissed at her “I will kill you all!” I spat “For what you did to Daryl, what you did to me and my family!” It was the first time I spoke in a while, my voice didn’t sound like my own anymore “Whatever he has done to you, there is more. There is always more. You won’t get away and when you are back it will be worse!” “I won’t be back except to kill you!” I said as I left her and rushed towards the door, I saw the light, Dwight brought me through here before I ran out and there were bunch of motorcycles waiting I tried to get on any but the doors busted open and men with guns walked out All pointed at me And then that whistling sound came Negan was behind me He chuckled, Fuck him “Are we pissing our pants yet!” He beamed

He stared at me sizing me up and down I was scared, oh hell I wanted to cry, something I normally never do But I had to pretend to be strong Try not to break He wanted me to break and I wasn’t going to break I tried to look anywhere but him Avoiding his gaze I wasn’t scared of him oh no I was scared that he would kill someone else to punish me I was scared to be thrown in that empty room again I might be used to loneliness but the past six years I stayed with Rick, Carl, Daryl and the rest, I got used to company. I had a family and now he is ripping it all away

“Who are you?” He asked as he pointed Lucille behind him at Joey “Negan!” Joey said “Who are you!” Negan said as he pointed it on another guy “Negan!” The guy answered “Who are you!” He asked no one “Negan!” All the guys around me said

I looked up at him, meeting his gaze for the first time Dammit Now I saw him better, the sunlight kissing his face The salt pepper light beard he had The dimples that were clear as sun The light brown chocolate eyes that bore into me I want chocolate, I’m hungry! I cursed myself for thinking all that now But if it made me look less afraid, then chocolate it is!

“See! I’m everywhere!” He smiled And he has perfect set of white bright teeth! Where the hell does he get tooth paste from, during a god damn apocalypse? “–which sucks because your life was about to get so much cooler!” Oops! I missed half of his boring speech, thinking of toothpaste! “Am I right?” Negan gloated “Damn right!” Joey smiled, Joey is going to die soon, I could see it!

Negan walked closer to me, almost making our chest touch, pulling his tongue between his teeth and smiling at me. Fucking hell, what a fucking smile! He could do ads for Colgate and those other companies if he wanted! he was so tall compared to me I didn’t even reach his shoulder I looked like a fucking baby next to him I had to strain my neck and my back bone to look at him as he hovered over me Bloody universe

“Dwight gave you some options!” He said as he moved away “I don’t think you get it, so I will break it down to you!” He smiled “you got four choices!” “One, you end up on the spike and you work for me as a dead man, or women! Whatever helps you!” He chuckled “Two, you get out of your cell and work for points but you would wish you were dead!” “Three, you work for me! You get yourself Anne pair of clothes and lipstick, and you live like a Princess!” “Or four, you marry me! You don’t work, you don’t do shit other than sit around with a tight sexy black dress that brings out your eyes and your perky ass! And you live like a mother fucking queen!” He winked at me and I was in shock, Dwight certainly didn’t tell me about the marriage portion, not that I was considering it, oh no of course not! “But you should know! There is no door number five! This is it! This is the only way!”

I stayed silent He was a manic Some psycho I ain’t playing his stupid games

“Or you know what? Screw it!” He said, and everything went in slow motion again I saw him launch towards me, but I did my best not to flinch or turn away because if this was it for me, I wanted him to remember the look on my face, I wasn’t afraid, not from him He stopped inches away from me, Lucille hanging right above my head My breathing stopped He was so very dangerously close Fuck him

He started laughing in front of my face “Wow!” He said amused “You don’t scare easy!” He said as if he just realized it Well well Happy late realization! Thank you for stating the obvious! You did a very good help to the society! “I love that!” He said proudly “but Lucille find I disrespectful, you are lucky she ain’t feeling thirsty today!” He said as his face changed moods, his face turned sinister and his eyes narrowed at me he came so close once more and I pushed my face away from him “But I’m” oh fuck! He will kill me! “I’m gonna go! GET ME A DRINK!” He jumped and I let a breath of relief Fucking hell. “Get her back to her room and when Dwight is back tell him to bring her to me and come!” Negan said as he walked away and Joey pushed me to go back to my room

Few hours have passed and then the door was yanked open. Dwight was standing there, he had a sandwich with him, I should have a talk with whoever is in charge of the food around here. I’m fucking gonna die from hunger soon

I didn’t reach for the food, he threw it next to me “Eat” he ordered “you got your friends killed” he said and in that moment I never hated anyone more I shot him a disgusting glare as I reached for the food and threw it at his face He kneeled next to me “You should be dead! Negan should have killed you!” He said as he reached for his pocket and stuck a picture next to my head I knew it too well The remains of Glen and Abraham That bastard And after a month of keeping it together I finally broke down, I cried.

@jouveriaalam @thewalkingdead178