#they gotta give her some flaws the greens remain more interesting. to me

[visenyaism]

“all must choose” but rhaenyra looking hot and correct with good posture and her dad’s crown perfectly resting on her head like it belongs there just cannot beat that killer limp-wristed might frisbee the conqueror’s crown at any moment adult boy-king suicidal ennui + fundamentalist sword violence psychopath combination it’s not fair.

[mannatea]

incoherent ranting below

so i’ve been in this constant ‘i hate men’ mood for like, weeks, probably because a coworker of mine works nights at the bar sometimes and men are unsurprisingly disgusting and hateful creatures who prey on women who dare to exist in any space, especially if that space is one that demands she serve him in any capacity, no matter how professional

and i realized something i hate about shows that are dark & gritty and claim to be (by the fans or creators) “realistic for the time” which of course everyone wants to claim = superior writing

first of all NO it’s not better just because it’s “realistic” and LOL at “life just blew chunks back then that’S JUST HOW IT WAS” like??? can we stop pretending that everyone was miserable always that’s your shitty modern air conditioning loving ass talking through your overlarge facehole. 

secondly history is written by the winners, which we know, so we mostly have rich white men who obviously still don’t have a fuCKING CLUE what goes on in their OWN GODDAMN HOMES let alone what goes on around them like are we really going to believe that what they say was real was not only real for them but like, commonplace???? lol

but even if a show managed to be 100% historically accurate, there’s no need to adhere to history because (and CHECK THIS OUT, it’s WILD) this is

a

fictional

fucking

story!!!!!!!!

anyway what i hate about gritty grimdark “”””realistic”””” pieces of media is this: 

i’m tired of them!!!!!!!!!!

and hey, maybe because they all subscribe to the same newsletter, which has some kind of nutty philosophy: to be dark and gritty we gotta deal with Controversial Awful Topics preferably in ways that feel like they cOULD be historically accurate just to acCENTUATE how terrible life can be

like man i love realism as much as the next guy, but when it’s piled on too thick it’s just a drag to stick with, you know???

i watch a mediocre tv show that wants very badly to be a wholesome family western drama. it’s called when calls the heart and it lacks diversity. it lacks good writers. it lacks a good budget. it has its good moments of course. there are some amazing characters, some lovely moving scenes... but it’s not The Family Western Drama, and so a number of fans put it down because they think it ought to be more like The Family Western Drama of the 90s: dr. quinn medicine woman. 

which was one helluva brave show for its time!! don’t get me wrong here. it dealt with scary topics for the 90s: homophobia, racism, domestic violence, and the most controversial topic they dealt with (according to lashback from viewers): hitting children is abuse.

but the characters in dr. quinn are downright HATEFUL when you look away from the main cast and their bffs. the townsfolk are all extremely racist, bigoted, sexist, violent, women-hating pigs who want to shoot literally everyone for any possible reason they can come up with. they don’t change. all they do is hate, have an episode arc of learning something or maybe some backstory that makes you feel something for them, and they go right back to being hateful again. 

and look, i do wish wcth had more courage. i do. i rEALLY do. the structure is sound. it could be so good if it tried and it had the budget. but it doesn’t, and it isn’t, and honestly? i’m okay with that.

sometimes it’s nice to have a piece of media where the men aren’t all irredeemable fuckwads!!! where i can pretend the town is made up of open minded loving people who usually mean well and aren’t hateful!

it’s soothing to watch a show where i don’t have to see men treating women with blatant disrespect, where i don’t have to look at them being viewed by the characters as property. where the saloon in the show DOESN’T HAVE whores at all, let alone whores that are OWNED BY THE OWNER and regularly treated like shit throughout the series. 

like look i get it, yall like dr. quinn cause it’s “”””realistic”””” but it’s hard to enjoy a show that’s just more of the same irl stuff i deal with AND it never gets better AND the characters all remain civil and friendly AND it’s just accepted that that’s how those characters are AND--

i mean, i get having to be civil to your neighbors because you’re the town doctor and this is now your home and you have kids to take care of!! but how can you love a town where nearly everyone in it wants your cheyanne friends dead and would shoot them themselves if given half a chance? like, i can’t love that town. and i want to love a town a tv show centers around.

gilmore girls featured stars hollow and it was a nice town. not everyone was wholesome and good but there were people to like. the town means something to the characters = it should mean something to me by proxy. who didn’t fall in love with avonlea in anne of green gables, right? hope valley is likable. colorado springs in dr. quinn is not. it’s hateful.

anyway i just wanted to vent. dr. quinn is a decent show. sometimes it’s really good. but most of the time i just sit there and prefer mediocrity. i want to like the town! i want to like the featured male characters! i want to like the world these characters come from, even if it’s not always kind to them. but in dr. quinn it’s like??? i can’t. i hate the town. it’s shit.

as a writer i want flaws. i like seeing characters change and evolve. but in dr. quinn it’s like they don’t ever change. they’re still nasty and evil and willing to turn on one another at the drop of a hat. the fans say it’s good, realistic writing. i say it’s trash writing on a good budget. again, “””dark””” material doesn’t make the writing good. if i’m gonna watch mediocrity i’d rather it be something that gives me characters and a town i enjoy seeing on the screen, even if it’s “not realistic” or “fake.”

and like, i’ve dissed when calls the heart for trying too hard to be “feminist” and accidentally going in the other direction, but at least they made an effort? at least they tRIEd to give us strong characters? sure they failed and disappointed me but i can tell there was an effort. and their failure generally didn’t ruin the characters for me, either.

it’s painful watching dr. mike forgive the evils of her fellow townspeople every single episode only for them to be fine letting her or her kids or her beau or the cheyanne or the immigrants die because of one (1) minor thing happening

(and hey i know shit like typhus was a big deal but maybe actually write the fear in there and make a real episode about it? it stops meaning something when your characters fly off the handle about lITERALLY everything. like at this point neal and i start a new episode with: who’s gonna be irredeemably evil today? hank, jake, or loren?)

dEEP BREATH

maybe i’m being a little unfair. it’s interesting to have a town of characters where some are just completely terrible people and that’s just how it is because they’re There and It’s Their Town Too and so on.

but that doesn’t mean i want to watch it. and i don’t think it necessarily means it’s a better written show, either. it’s just exhausting to me. i don’t need to see more anger. i’m tired of it. it’s everywhere.

okay okay at its core this was a rant about the bullshit fake ass “realistic media” = better media thing but also...

why would i want to subject myself to 30104012 hours of nonstop violence against women, when it’s been a part of my everyday life from the moment i stepped out of the womb?

no thanks. i hate men as a general rule but i like to indulge in the fantasy that there could be a town made up of mostly good ones!! so sue me if it means i like a shittier piece of media!! i don’t care!! I DO NOT CARE!!! i just want to think ‘hey this is a nice place these people live in and everyone has their faults but they’re not waving guns around beating up people.’

i literally don’t care how “unrealistic” that makes the show. do not care. i give...no fucks about that. let me indulge.

and also, you know what? other shows were brave in the 90s, too, but i don’t see people talking about touched by an angel even though it handled all the same topics that dr. quinn medicine woman did AND MORE

lol but i guess it’s embarrassing to admit you got something out of tbaa huh

again, don’t get me wrong. there are things i enjoy a LOT about dqmw. but boy does it piss me off to see wcth compared to it as if dqmw is this paragon of good writing that all other period dramas must aspire to, and if you don’t do literally all of these grimdark things that dqmw did, you’re not good enough...is just so exhausting. there’s nothing wrong with a show choosing to skirt the horrible things for a lighter fare. sometimes that’s just what the audience needs.

and like lmao none of this is real it’s ALL MADE UP!!!!! so who cares if abigail’s a female mayor in 1915 like

that’s the magic of fiction, babe!!!!

[thesportssoundoff]

“Meet 2018, Lookin’ A Lot Like 2017“ UFC Fight Night From St. Louis

Joey

Jan 7th, 2017

The UFC ended 2017 on a bit of a hot streak as every event in December was at the very least enjoyable and in a perfect world, that's your springboard as we head into 2018. It's only fitting I suppose that 2018 begins with a continuation of the very ills that haunted 2017. The first show of 2018 is a tremendous eclectic mix of well put together fights on short-ish notice with no real big headliner to tie it all together. It's the best the UFC could do on short-ish notice while also filling up their schedule; a common refrain for 2017 that has seeped into 2018. Now don't mistake that for this card not being good; it is a very, very solid show on paper and with an NFL playoff lead in (the UFC will air on FS1 basically right as the Vikings vs Panthers/Saints game ends) it's going to do one of the bigger numbers of the year. It's just a bummer there's no big main event to launch the career of a star or build a big momentum leading title fight. Jeremy Stephens vs Doo Ho Choi is a fantastic fight and a great headliner for however long it lasts while popular fighters like Uriah Hall, Vitor Belfort, Paige Van Zant, Jessica Eye, Thiago Alves and Michael Johnson are all filtered throughout the show. Throw in some fine matchmaking on short notice and another step in Kamaru Usman's potential title fight picture and we're on our way, fellas!

Fights: 13

Debuts: 1 (Matt Frevola)

Fight Changes/Injury Cancellations: 0

Headliners (fighters who have either main evented or co-main evented shows in the UFC):  9 (Uriah Hall, Vitor Belfort, Paige Van Zant, Thiago Alves, Jessica Eye, Jessica Rose Clark, Michael Johnson, Darren Elkins, Zak Cummings)

Fighters On Losing Streaks in the UFC:  3 (Irene Aldana, Jessica Eye, Michael Johnson)

Fighters On Winning Streaks in the UFC:  5 (Darren Elkins, Zak Cummings, Kamaru Usman, Danielle Taylor, Kyung Ho Kang)

Main Card Record Since Jan 1st 2016 (in the UFC): 12-8-1

Jeremy Stephens- 2-2 Doo Ho Choi- 1-1   Uriah Hall- 1-2 Vitor Belfort- 1-2-1 Jessica Rose Clark- 1-0 Paige Van Zant- 1-1 Kamaru Usman- 4-0 Emil Meek- 1-0

Too High Up- Matt Frevola vs Marco Polo Reyes

Matt Frevola's debut fight off of the DWTCS settles him in as apart of the FS! prelim slate. I get why he's there; Frevola's a fun  exciting LW newbie who probably has a bright future with the Serra-Longo team behind him. Marco Polo Reyes hits REALLY hard and tends to be in exciting fights for however long they last. Having said that, this is a showcase fight for Frevola and really isn't even the best LW fight on the prelim slate. This could've been a lot lower.

Down Too Low- Danielle Taylor vs JJ Aldrich

Neither fighter is big on the action fight category so I get it. Having said that, it's a fight that should probably be on the FS1 prelims if only because the winner will be one of the rare ladies on a winning streak at 115 lbs. Aldrich showcased skills in her first two fights and is a training partner for current champ Rose Namajunas whereas Danielle Taylor is on a two fight winning streak with one of those wins being vs former contender Jessica Penne. This isn't even the Fight Pass headliner for cripes sake, man.

Stat Monitor for 2017:

Debuting Fighters (Current number: 0-0): Matt Frevola

Short Notice Fighters (Current number: 0-0): N/A

Second Fight (Current number: 0-0): Mads Burnell, Mike Santiago, Jessica Rose Clark, Emil Meek, Talita Bernardo, Kalindra Faria

Cage Corrosion (0-0): Emil Meek, Paige Van Zant, Kyung Ho Kang, Guido Cannetti, Jessica Eye,  Marco Polo Reyes, Doo Ho Choi

Twelve Precarious Ponderings

1- The main event is going to be a very serious test for what a prospect can learn from a loss and what is or isn't a fatal flaw. Its okay if Doo Ho Choi can't fight as good going backwards as he can going forwards. It would be a flaw but one that's non fatal in nature. If he simply CAN'T fight going backwards then THAT is a fatal flaw and the sort of flaw that cuts a prospects upside off at the knees. Choi looked awesome fighting going forwards vs Cub Swanson but when Cub (and Jackson-Wink) realized that Choi could only handle one way traffic, things went bad and in a hurry. Choi also gassed something serious which isn't surprising given his come forward nature and the power he puts behind his shots---but this fight is five rounds vs a dude who has been historically durable beyond measure. We're going to learn a lot here.

2- Food for thought for those who like to eat ideas; Choi has zero wins who remain in the UFC. Jeremy Stephens isn't as versatile or adept as Cub Swanson but he's probably as durable if not more so, he hits REALLY hard and has a style which will trouble Doo Ho Choi from the jump. That;s not to say that Choi can't win but if he does, I feel like that'll almost speak as loudly as a win over Cub Swanson would've.

3- Is there a single doubt that this card peaks viewership wise during PVZ vs Jessica Rose Clark?

4- Uriah Hall's biggest ability is neither his striking nor his cardio but his availability. Another MW would've been cut after three straight losses but Hall's "fight anybody anywhere anytime" style keeps him employed and it rewarded him with a awesome come from behind KO over Kryzstof Jotko his last time out. Hall's reward for that win is Vitor Belfort in the co-main event of a show that should do a happy, healthy viewership number. Good for Hall who genuinely seems like one of MMA's good guys in the sport.

5- Would Stephens vs Aldo be a good fight if Stephens wins?

6- Kamaru Usman's path to nowhere in the UFC's WW division raises what I think it is an interesting question going forward; should a fighter be removed from the top 10 if they refuse a fight for reasons other than injury? It really doesn't make sense that the UFC can't find a single guy in the top 10 willing to take a fight with Kamaru Usman and it hurts Usman and the UFC over the long haul that a division could have an artery clog as high as #7 or 8 in the rankings. So would that provision be in the best interest of the UFC? Could we modify it to anybody OUTSIDE of the top 5?

7- Staying with that thought, Emil Meek is the epitome of high risk, low reward for Usman. Meek is long, hits hard, attacks from awkward angles and on the feet will represent a collection of stylistic challenges for Usman. On the ground, I mean I got no idea. I know he's ridiculously strong but I doubt that'll help much if Usman is able to get him down as he's want to do.

8- Whomever thinks it's a good idea for Michael Johnson, he of suspect cardio and of a massive frame, to drop to 145 lbs probably doesn't care much about Michael Johnson.

9- James Krause has not beaten anybody who remains in the UFC. On the other hand, his losses are legitimate with L's vs Bobby Green, Jorge Masvidal and Valmir Lazaro. In many ways, he and Alex White are similar in that they lose to who they're expected to lose to and beat who they're expected to beat with an exception here or there. Krause seems to be transitioning into a coaching capacity going forward so this could be his final chance to really make a run in the UFC.

10- We've got four WMMA fights across three weight classes. Feel like that's the highest that number has ever been outside of femme TUF finales. We've sort of poked around on PVZ/Jessica Rose Clark and Taylor/Aldrich but let's touch on two other fights. Talita Bernando vs Irene Aldana is a battle of fighters who lost to Leslie Smith. Bernado fell off the map after the loss whereas Aldana lost to Kaitlyn Chookagian via very close disputed split decision. I personally thought she won. At 0-2, this could be her last chance to do anything of note. Kalindra Faria is better than she showed vss Mara Romero Borella at UFC 216 and she faces Jessica Eye who HAS to be on her last legs, right? Right? I mean seriously.

11- Let's talk briefly about Zak Cummings. If you had told me that Cummings would go from being a dude who pinch hit at 205 lbs to competing successfully at 170 lbs, I would've been pretty much stunned out of my mind. To his credit, Cummings has made good on that drop down with two losses at 170 lbs; one to the very good Santiago Ponzinibbio and the other a total stylistic booboo vs Gunnar Nelson. He faces Thiago Alves in what has the potential to be a career altering win for him assuming he can pick it up.

12- Dana White's Tuesday Night Contenders Series has had a great return on its investment but can Matt Frevola be the next guy to follow in behind those dudes?

Must Wins

1- Paige Van Zant

The UFC needs to 1) get back on the same page as PVZ and 2) Paige to carry this 125 lb weight class. If she can do the latter, the former will come into focus in theory. PVZ vs Jessica Rose Clark is giving Paige someone she's historically aced; fighters who aren't overpowering in nature and who are way below her on the athletic totem pole. A loss to Jessica Rose Clark, a competent opponent designed to make her look good, would be soul crushing for her stock.

2- Uriah Hall

URiah's walked his way up back into relevancy with a big comeback win vs Kryzstof Jotko and now he gets Vitor Belfort in his UFC retirement fight. This is the sort of fight that Hall has continuously struggled with during his time in the UFC; a guy who has power and fights tentative enough to where Hall overthinks it because he's afraid of getting clocked, dropped and finished.

3- Danielle Taylor

Taylor is probably not somebody the UFC sees a whole lot of value in. She's a somewhat dull fighter who is woefully undersized for 115 lbs and always seems to be left hoping for some mercy from the judges. She's on a two fight winning streak at 115 lbs and might be two wins away from serious top 10 level contention. Gotta beat a very tough game JJ Aldrich to get there though.

Five Can't Miss Fights

1- Jeremy Stephens vs Doo Ho Choi

2- Zak Cummings vs Thiago Alves

3- Marco Polo Reyes vs Matt Frevola

4- Kamaru Usman vs Emil Meek

5- Uriah Hall vs Vitor Belfort

Predict The Post Fight Talking Points:

1- Michael Johnson’s failed move to 145 lbs.

2- Is Paige Van Zant going to fight for a title now?

3- Was Doo Ho Choi rushed or this the natural course for him?

[brittanyyoungblog]

100+ Love Quotes for Her: Cute, Romantic Quotes She’ll Love

There are relationships, then there’s true love. You’re with someone new, and it’s different. Or maybe, you’ve been together for years. Either way, it’s deep, exciting, special. You want to pour your guts out to her. Maybe you have already. If you’re having trouble putting words to your feelings, don’t worry—most people do.

Here are over 100 quotes to help you put your feelings into the right words.

  You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching. Love like you’ll never be hurt. Sing like there’s nobody listening. And live like it’s heaven on earth.

—William W. Purkey

You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

—Dr. Seuss

  Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

—Bob Marley

As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.

—John Green

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close. —Pablo Neruda

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.

—Neil Gaiman

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.

—Pablo Neruda

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. —Robert A. Heinlein

There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.

—George Sand

The most important thing in the world is family and love.

—John Wooden

The one thing we can never get enough of is love. And the one thing we never give enough is love.

—Henry Miller

A loving heart is the truest wisdom.

—Charles Dickens Treasure the love you receive above all. It will survive long after your good health has vanished.

—Og Mandino

Love is, above all, the gift of oneself.

—Jean Anouilh

Unconditional love really exists in each of us. It is part of our deep inner being. It is not so much an active emotion as a state of being. It’s not ‘I love you’ for this or that reason, not ‘I love you if you love me.’ It’s love for no reason, love without an object.

—Ram Dass

Love doesn’t make the world go ’round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. —Franklin P. Jones

Love is all we have, the only way that each can help the other.

—Euripides

  Life is a game and true love is a trophy.

—Rufus Wainwright

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.

—Friedrich Nietzsche

To witness two lovers is a spectacle for the gods. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe You’re not looking for perfection in your partner. Perfection is all about the ego. With soulmate love, you know that true love is what happens when disappointment sets in – and you’re willing to deal maturely with these disappointments.

—Karen Salmansohn

Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time.

—Maya Angelou

Love grows more tremendously full, swift, poignant, as the years multiply. Zane Grey A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.

—Ingrid Bergman

The course of true love never did run smooth.

—William Shakespeare

I love you more than my own skin.

—Frida Kahlo

Life is the flower for which love is the honey.

—Victor Hugo

Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you.

—William Arthur Ward

Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?

—Christopher Marlowe

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.

—Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The thing is that love gives us a ringside seat on somebody else’s flaws, so of course you’re gonna spot some things that kinda need to be mentioned. But often the romantic view is to say, ‘If you loved me, you wouldn’t criticise me.’ Actually, true love is often about trying to teach someone how to be the best version of themselves.

—Alain de Botton

Love is like a beautiful flower which I may not touch, but whose fragrance makes the garden a place of delight just the same.

—Helen Keller True love cannot be found where it does not exist, nor can it be denied where it does. —Torquato Tasso

    We’ve got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it.

—John Lennon

Love is friendship set on fire.

—Jeremy Taylor

Love knows not distance; it hath no continent; its eyes are for the stars. Gilbert Parker True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart.

—Honore de Balzac

The things that we love tell us what we are.

—Thomas Aquinas

I love you—I am at rest with you—I have come home.

—Dorothy L. Sayers

Love is the beauty of the soul.

—Saint Augustine

To me, a forever love is a bond that can’t be broken.

—Nick Cannon

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.

—Oscar Wilde

With love and patience, nothing is impossible.

—Daisaku Ikeda

Love and a red rose can’t be hid.

—Thomas Holcroft

Love will find a way through paths where wolves fear to prey.

—Lord Byron

True love, to me, is when she’s the first thought that goes through your head when you wake up and the last thought that goes through your head before you go to sleep.

—Justin Timberlake

Loyalty and devotion lead to bravery. Bravery leads to the spirit of self-sacrifice. The spirit of self-sacrifice creates trust in the power of love.

—Morihei Ueshiba

The giving of love is an education in itself.

—Eleanor Roosevelt

Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality.

—Emily Dickinson

Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.

—Bruce Lee Familiar acts are beautiful through love.

—Percy Bysshe Shelley

Whatever is done for love always occurs beyond good and evil.

—Friedrich Nietzsche

We loved with a love that was more than love.

—Edgar Allan Poe

Love is the silent saying and saying of a single name.

—Mignon McLaughlin

Maybe true love isn’t out there for me, but I can sublimate my loneliness with the notion that true love is out there for someone.

—Roxane Gay

Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else. —George Bernard Shaw

Love is my religion – I could die for it.

—John Keats

True love lasts forever.

—Joseph B. Wirthlin

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.

—Erich Fromm

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

IFTTT

[ourwomanhood]

Interview: Nicole Grays Owens, Celebrity Wardrobe Stylist, Writer, and Host on the Impact of Her Weight-loss Journey and the True Essence of Inward Beauty

Nicole Grays Owens, hailing from Los Angeles, CA,  is a celebrity wardrobe stylist, image consultant, clothing designer, writer, personal transformation expert, and host of two popular podcasts: “Catch the Convo” and "PILLOW TALK: Live in the Living Room with Niko Grey.” Nicole played a major role in the building of a multi-million dollar payroll and staffing company, recently leaving her role in the company to direct her focus on exciting personal projects.

Check out the interview I did with Nicole to find out more about her transformational weight loss journey; the difficulties she’s endured with men and women post-surgery and how she takes it in stride; although the process lacked ease, how her weight-loss journey experience now seamlessly blends with and adds to her career as a celebrity stylist; her take on the connection between energy and inward beauty; how she beautifies her sacred space; and exciting future projects she has in store to include the creation of an Old Hollywood glam pin-up calendar, and the launch of a fictional novel and line of barware.

Interview: Nicole Grays Owens, Celebrity Wardrobe Stylist, Writer, and Host on the Impact of Her Weight-loss Journey and the True Essence of Inward Beauty

 Jasmine: Thank you doing this interview, Nicole. Currently residing in LA, you are a celebrity wardrobe stylist, image consultant, clothing designer, writer, personal transformation expert, host of two popular podcasts: “Catch the Convo” and "PILLOW TALK: Live in the Living Room with Niko Grey,” and are a media correspondent. For BISON, a multi-million dollar payroll and staffing company, you played a major strategic role in not only building its success with your former husband, Wesley Owens, but landing your organization’s first major contract with MARTA (Atlanta Rail Transportation) before moving on to pursue other personal ventures. Through your transformational weight-loss journey, you have lost 150 pounds. Tell me some things I might not know about you.

Nicole: Thank you for wanting to know more about me. Doing this interview is an honor. So you'd like to know somethings that aren't in my bio...Wow, this could lead to trouble or make me wildly more popular [laughs out loud]. All of my showers include bubbles, but not solely from soap. Frequently I take an inexpensive bottle of champagne into the bath with with me and once I'm all lathered up I first take a sip, then pour chilled pink champagne all over my body from head to toe and mix it with my favorite shower gel- Vitabath Spring Green.

Also, I'm a total chocoholic. Sometimes I fall asleep with it in my hand, making for a very interesting bed scene when I wake up. I only own white sheets so I can just toss in the wash, add bleach and poof!—like magic, all evidence is destroyed [smiles].

A couple of additional nuggets: I like my music loud, my cars fast, and I chew bubble gum. Blowing bubbles keeps me feeling young. As I answer this question I'm starting to see a theme here. 

Jasmine: I think the body and everything it entails is very personal. For some people, their body does not define who they are, their standard of beauty, or their confidence level; they do not make goals or set activities solely (or largely in-part) on how they look or might feel about how their body is perceived. Then, you have those who visual a different body, a different person. One that takes on a transformed emotional state and a lifted spirit. The body is connected to all parts of self and, for them, it is not something that will be separated or ignored. The reason for pursuing physical transformations vary—the justification for it, I believe, is personal and cannot be accurately based on what you “think” you know about someone based on observations or hearsay; each person in the universe has layers, some filled with memories, wishes, and feelings no one else will ever know (or should know)—thus, I’m extremely partial to having an opinion about what others, especially women (as I too am a woman), do with their bodies. Nicole, tell me about the reason you decided to go on your weight loss journey, and when and where it began.

Nicole: I'm very transparent when it comes to my weight loss journey and the many reasons behind it.

As a youth and teenager weight was never an issue. I was healthy but never one for athletics. There's this thing associated with outdoor activities called sweat and I'm not partial to it. My struggle with weight gain started shortly after graduating high school in 1987 and I remained on that roller coaster until my very necessary gastric bypass surgery in 2008. Through therapy I learned I'm an emotional eater. By the time I'd ballooned to over 300 lbs I knew I had to do something drastic.

Having tried every other diet and weight loss program imaginable, this was the last hope and it worked.

Being overweight for so many years wreaked havoc on my self esteem. Certain I'd heard the phrase "You're so pretty, if you could only lose the weight" more times than I care to count, didn't help. It only made me more withdrawn. I was like that clown who smiled on the outside while crying on the inside.

The elective surgical side of my journey in 2016 included 15 elective plastic surgery procedures that changed my life. Some for the better, some for the worse. I definitely get more attention from both women and men alike...but, I also get more attention from both women and men alike.

What I mean by repeating that sentence a second time is: All attention isn't good attention.

The new me has made other women dislike me for my outward beauty, not knowing my struggle or my journey to get here. Men, well, they're just men. They stare...a little too much for my taste. My presence on social media has led to a fixation or two that I could definitely do without, but it comes with the territory. I'd venture to go so far as to say I think human beings in general would prefer looking fit, curves in the right places, sexy even - but the downside to all that aesthetic deliciousness is a mutha'.

Men objectify me and view me as a trophy, nothing more. And women who aren't secure with themselves dislike me without even knowing me.

I've seen my fair share of couples strolling around in malls or out on a date, and when the woman notices her mate noticing me they hold on tighter or even give that "What are you looking at her for?" glare. Sometimes it's funny, because again...they don't know my journey and the hell it took to get here. Other times I feel like a hussy. "I'm not out to steal your man" is what I want to shout, but I just take it all in stride, realizing this is now a part of this new me and I've gotta take the good with the bad.

The more attractive you are, the more likely strangers are willing to stop and help you, and are nicer to you in general. I have gotten the better table, been called to the front of the line, and am routinely described as a business woman - people say I look like I have money. (They aren't far off either.)

My confidence is on 10, my wardrobe is tailored to fit, and my aura smells like wealth. Not many have $50-$60k to plop down in cash and say "fix it all."

And my scars...they tell a story, so I have no shame about them.

At 48, guys in their late 20's and early 30's hit on me constantly. Too much of a gap for there to be a connection but it sure does keep my levels of self confidence up. Though the loss (of friendships and money) and the pain (recovery is a bitch), I'd do it all over again. Although my circle is so small it's a triangle, I finally feel like I'm right where I'm supposed to be. 

Jasmine: Nicole, you have had such an experience. I truly believe that experiences are what creates connections to people in ways that would are otherwise impossible. When I’m looking to spend my money on a product or service, after inspecting for quality, I immediately look up information about the owner. I want to know their story and how I might be able to connect to it and them in some way. If it’s cookie-cutter, I know it’s not for me. You must understand me as a person first and client second. Tell me how your weight-loss journey has helped to better connect you with your clients as a celebrity wardrobe stylist and image consultant.

Nicole: My weight-loss journey has had an incredible impact on the work I do as a celebrity Stylist. On the surface, we sort of fall into the same category as bartenders and hairstylists...our clients tell us their stories.

We're an unbiased familiar but non-judgmental party. Therapists if you will. In the case of "A day in the life of a Stylist" my clientele not only expect discretion, but I've had more women cry on my shoulder than Dr. Phil.

They're comfortable with me because of my journey.

They know [that] I know first hand the best ways to cover outward flaws. And because of my many struggles to get where I am now, there's understanding and empathy. I don't just dress you, I address you from top to bottom, inside and out. My sessions have been coined the BOOM-POW Experience.

Not only do I leave clients knocking 'em dead on the carpet or at an event, but our private time together has also knocked out some of that negativity, that feeling of not feeling good enough, worthy enough. I've been every size imaginable from a 4 to a 26...that's a lot of wardrobing know how and a lot of emotional baggage. If my clients need a place to check that baggage, they know they can safely leave it with me.

There's a reason I don't do any marketing as a professional stylist. It's word of mouth and I personally am very selective about who I take on as a client. This is my passion and you can't put a price on what brings me happiness.

But the looks of amazement I get from my clients...priceless. That's the most valuable part of the business for me.

Jasmine: Beyond the external, explain to me your views on beauty.

Nicole: Outward beauty is a beat face in a designer gown - that's easy, but has no depth. Inward beauty is soulful, expression, the way you walk, talk and carry yourself.

Inward beauty is an energy, it's electrifying. You can't see it but you can sense it approaching you.

It's that thing that makes you look up and lock eyes with a complete stranger, or the way you feel the urge to turn around for no reason...it's because you can feel it coming towards you and you don't wanna miss it. It draws you to it. 

Jasmine: How have you been able to beautify your internal sacred space?

Nicole: It's always been that way. I have OCD, so my space is always neat, tidy and comfy. I surround myself with pillows, white furnishings (yes, I have kids, but I've schooled them well [laughs out loud]). Mood lighting and water features are also a part of my living space. I love mirrors, crushed velvet, suede, leather and mirrors. I also prefer silver over gold. Some say gold is more rich, but I have excellent taste in furniture as well as being a wardrobes stylist, so I make silver accents look sumptuous. Any royal would be well at home in my home.

Jasmine: I believe firmly that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that the beholder is firstly oneself. You must love the person you will live in, breathe air for, shed tears through, and fight to understand fully and truthfully. Part of this truth is being honest about what you want to see and how you want to feel. What advice would you give to other women who are on a quest to find their beautiful?

Nicole: I don't have a canned response for women on a quest to find their own beauty.

We're all uniquely, insanely and incredibly beautiful in our own way...

and the journey to find that "happy place", that sexy place, that "I've got it and you know you want it" place is a road best travelled alone.

I'm a huge supporter of women, but I equally believe that time spent alone, quietly, reflecting...that's how you find it. You've gotta find you first - [that’s]  the only person who can help you get there. You and a good therapist, and maybe a bottle of pink champagne - couldn't hurt.

Jasmine: Nicole, tell me one word that would describe your journey thus far.

Nicole: Intense

Jasmine: Where do you see yourself going from here?

Nicole: Up—and lifting others as I climb.

Jasmine: Are there any current or future projects you’d like to talk about?

Nicole: Yes! I’m completing a fictional novel (working title is Pulling Over, Pulling Teeth, inspired by true events).

For years I've wanted to do an old Hollywood glam pin-up calendar. Hopefully that will happen in time for 2018 release. In addition to my kitschy #dopesince1969 items for my online boutique, I'm also designing a line of barware to compliment my podcasts "Catch the Convo" and "Pillow Talk: Live in the Living Room with Niko Grey" (I'm Niko Grey lol). Securing a deal with RumChata has been on my get list for over a year. I'm looking to be their brand ambassador. RumChata is the official liqueur for my podcasts.

Lastly, to become a part of an ensemble cast on one of Bravo's franchises, such as Real Housewives of Atlanta, would be a dream. Who dreams of being on reality TV one might ask? Me, that's who. It would be wonderful exposure for me personally and that can only help to catapult the Nicole Grays Owens brand. Who doesn't want a springboard into their own personal ideals for greatness?

Did I mention I'm also in the middle of renovating my parents home for myself? As you can see I'm pretty lazy and unmotivated. (Whispers “please send help...”.)

Jasmine: Where can you be found online/off-line?

Nicole:

Email: nicole@nicolegraysowens.com

FB: Nicole Grays Owens (personal and fan page)

IG: @Nicole_Grays_Owens

Twitter: @IAmNicoleGOwens

YouTube: Nicole Grays Owens

Snap chat: NGO1969

Jasmine: Thank you, Nicole!

[ghost-recon-wildlands]

Skip to the bottom for TL;DR.Let me preface this, because I know I'm gonna get comments saying "then why play the game" and "who gives a shit about realism" by saying that the game for the most part is fun. Yet the more I played it, and the farther I got the more glaring it's flaws became. Having played enough of Wildlands to render a verdict, and having explored every nook and cranny of Bolivia, I'd like to express my opinion of the game.It is a serious disappointment, on many many levels.What I see is a game with massive potential, a huge open world with co-op capabilities, tactical stealth and shooter elements and a variety of ways to approach objectives.All of that is wasted by a mix of poor design choices, a just didn't care attitude, oversights, bugs, frustrating gameplay and a "get out the door as fast as possible, quality be damned" attitude that Ubisoft has been guilty of in the past.Let's start with the story. Ubisoft had a great opportunity to do a ''Shadow of Mordor'' style story: depending on which cartel branch you took out first, it could change the game world. Take out Security first, the rest of the cartel becomes disorganized and less competent in combat (because you took out their trainers and camps and commanders), take out Influence first, the cartel radio stops broadcasting and the cartel's grip on the country weakens somewhat. Take out Supply, and Security beefs itself up in response. Take out UNIDAD HQ in Flor De Oro, their patrols become less frequent.Nope, Ubisoft instead goes for a shallow, uninspired story in which none of the characters are given any meaningful backstory, it's just "X character is bad because Y reason, go kill him/her." It just feels hollow, there's no impact. I felt like there was no meaningful progress to the story as we dismantled the cartel piece by piece. The ending of the story (the true ending that is) literally makes your efforts mean nothing. I won't spoil it, but yeah, everything you did? Doesn't mean anything. It's such a cop-out.The world doesn't change and react to your actions. You take over a base carefully with no detection? It makes no. damn. difference. That base will be repopulated the next time you load your game or if you travel to another province and back. The SAM sites respawn, and cartel members remain in a province even if you cleared out the buchon. It has no impact and basically is a middle finger to your efforts.Honestly, in my honest opinion the world is a little TOO big. The provinces look nice from a distance, but up close structures repeat and the civilian AI doesn't react to its surroundings. Bases have no variety; its almost always variations on a few buildings, one tower, guard post, alarm. I ran into a civilian in Koani (the salt flat province in the northwest) bundled up like it was extremely cold, and I saw civilians dressed for summer. In Inca Camina, the mountainous, cold province. The fact that planes fly at a snail's pace means it can take anywhere from 10-15 minutes to traverse from end to end.Gameplay wise, Wildlands does some things right, it does a lot of things far worse though, and unfortunately those things end up ruining and weighing down the game:*The attachment system is a mess and its clear that the devs simultaneously didn't care, and half-assed the whole thing. I talk about it more here: https://www.reddit.com/r/GhostRecon/comments/5zhk7o/the_attachment_system_in_this_game_makes_no_sense/*To add, some weapon attachments are in the wrong place and not where the text says they are, which is a huge oversight. There's also multiple copies of the same attachment. Why? I found a folding buttstock in one province and another for the same weapon type in another. Why not just consolidate them into one?*The weapon variety is weirdly inconsistent. There's only three non DLC shotguns, not that many pistols, a good selection of ARs, but LMGs are lacking and the devs could have added far more SMGs.*In addition, a lot of weapons are locked behind a paywall, which just smacks of greed. In fact, you can buy all the weapons and attachments if you want to.*The combat system is okay, but lacks elements that should logically be in the game (blindfire, human shields, low run to cover)*The co-op system in my experience is sloppy and glitchy, requiring multiple disconnects and reconnects so we can see each other in game. When it does work, its fun and enjoyable.For a game that calls itself a tactical shooter, it has a lot of errors. Your character throws grenades at a pathetic range, reloads weapons by pulling the charging handle with their shooting hand (highly discouraged, especially in Special Forces), there's no +1 chambering when reloading mid-magazine, your character will loudly yell when they kill an enemy with a weapon, etc.*Reload animations for weapons are incredibly samey and lack any variety (ACR reloads the same as the TAR-21, MP5 reloads the same as the Scorpion Evo 3, etc), pistols don't even lock their slides back or display accurate pistol mechanics.*Vehicle physics are laughable sometimes. Cars handle like they're on ice, APCs slide around and motorcycles are basically unusable. You shoot the tires of a truck, it explodes. Somehow.*Your character has the resiliency of a wet paper bag when it comes to vehicles. Light tap? You're down on the ground.*Character customization is great, but camouflage doesn't do anything and is useless. You could wear all black at night and get spotted as easily as wearing green in Koani.*Ammo pool limits don't come out to even amounts. 68 rounds for a sniper rifle? 225 for an assault rifle? 45 for a shotgun? How does that make any sense?*Sniping is less than optimal, you can't snipe very far and bullets drop like cannonballs (I can visibly see the bullet falling out of the sky).*There are an insane amount of bugs, some of which could have been fixed if the game had more time. They're all listed here: https://www.reddit.com/r/GhostRecon/comments/5xw6qg/megathread_feedbacksuggestionsbugs/I myself have fallen through the map, had my motorcycle launch itself into the atmosphere upon hitting a pebble, had Kingslayer files not appear on the map, had my character model spaz out while running, had dialogue constantly repeat for missions I had long completed and many, many others.*The helicopter physics are atrocious and the plane physics lack basic controls that every open world game before it has had. Like, how did Ubi think this was a good idea?*Enemies are unacceptably omniscient, to the point they can spot you in brush from half a mile away, while facing the other direction.*No helicopter fast-roping.*No non-lethal options (even knocking out counts as a kill)*Movement options are limited (no quick dive out of the way, no jumping, no forward roll or side roll)*No door breaching.*Can't move bodies.*No wire-cutters for fences. Fences may as well be concrete walls.*You can't switch back to earlier rebel drop vehicles once you upgrade them. Want an armored SUV but have level 3 rebel drop? Fuck you, you get a helicopter and you will like it.*No flares for aircraft. SAM coming your way in a medicine helicopter? Hope you can dodge.There are so many gameplay elements missing, it's almost weird given the series pedigree. Ghost Recon is known for tactical realism and variety in tackling objectives after all.Rebel missions become useless once you have fully upgraded abilities, yet they keep spawning in each new province. They're the same missions, over and over and over again. It could have been made so once a rebel mission is completed, and that particular rebel ability is fully upgraded, instead it gives you 5000-7500 of a resource. As it stands, I have ''no'' incentive to do those missions. There's no variety in Supply Raids, its the same "steal helicopter/steal plane" over and over.In fact, let's talk about the missions. They're incredibly tedious and samey. Each province has the same subset of missions and rebel missions; there's no variety, no difference. Blow up this, tail this person, kill that person, rinse and repeat. Rebel missions could have had some variety depending on the province and geography. A train intercept mission (missed opportunity there, fighting car to car on a train while a friendly helicopter flies alongside providing support would be fun) is one I would have liked to see, given the abundance of trains that make their way through.One of the most glaring flaws in this game is the dialogue. Sweet Jesus, the dialogue. It repeats and repeats and repeats so many times, it's grating. I got tired of hearing "the music that makes your culo bounce up and down!" very quickly, to say nothing of "this medal has a coca plant on it. That's kinda cool", but the worst one is "what are we waiting for? There's gotta be more of us than them. Charge!!!" Apparently everyone in Bolivia has maybe 2 lines, and they repeat them Infinity1000 times in an hour.I came into Wildlands with elevated expectations; I enjoyed the beta, and I wanted to give it a shot. Dicking around in co-op was a blast. It seemed like a fun game, and catered to my gun aficionado/Special Forces dressup desire. Yet it's so clear that Ubisoft fucked up majorly by releasing a beta/demo a week before release, and then not using the beta to fix anything.What they should have done, and should do moving forward for future titles, is release the beta, vacuum up all the feedback and delay the game for 6 months or more (with an October/November release) and polish the game to fix as many bugs as they can. They did not do that with Wildlands. They released a buggy game with shallow elements, when they could have fleshed out so much, made the world vibrant and interesting and reactive (to a degree), and made sure the game ran smoothly and played well.Should you get the game? In its current state, its hard to recommend it. If you can overlook its flaws and same-y missions and endlessly repeated 2-3 lines of dialogue, there's fun to be had in co-op. I'd wait for Ubi to patch and fix bugs, but there's the possibility that they may never fix the issues that Wildlands has. I hope that's not the case; there is a solid game under all of what I mentioned, it just needed a few more months of polish.TL;DR: Wildlands has a lot of bugs, and the story sucks. Also has a bunch of flaws and should have been released in September/October, not March. via /r/GhostRecon