#they joked about the time limit bc i think they wanted to be funny & submit the 70000 second song. but i dont think they submitted anything

[red-dyed-sarumane]

omg hi i went insane and decided to go thru every single mushoku toumeisai entry (theres about 4800 songs this time!) one by one until i found null's entry! after going thru around 600 songs over 2 days & finally caving & going thru ones i didnt already on the ranking I FOUND IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

shiawasekai!!! recognized null instantly i was yelling. its got null's signature emotionally charged sound with the guitars & and the tuning on teto. not to mention the word play in the title, fusing shiawase & sekai like that. it's only null's 3rd upload thats why i was so desperate to find it & see if they're keeping the same direction both redraw and ai wo have and it sounds like they are!!!! very cool go give them some love!

[bitchiha]

hey!!! can you maybe do any of the boys that your heart would like and the request is; “them seeing/meeting your ex boyfriend for the first time” | so like the shisuirequest??

A/N: Yes I can write this for you!! I chose to write it for Kiba, Naruto and Sai! Bc Sai doesn’t get enough love =(^.^)=

✎ Meeting their s/o’s ex boyfriend!

Kiba

So allow me to paint the scene: it all starts when Kiba is walking you home from one of your routine walks together. He’s got his arm around your waist and he’s telling you about how Hianata almost passed out this morning when Naruto said hi to her. You both laugh as he finishes the memory and Akamaru trails behind you two panting happily.

You live on a pretty busy village street. So you normally see people you know all the time around your house. They’re always passing by to get groceries or go to one of the food stands nearby. So when someone calls out your name you turn around casually — expecting to see Shino or something.

But who you did not expect to see was your ex boyfriend running up to you, pushing passed people on the crowded street without batting an eye. He was kind of a douchebag.

Kiba immediately stops laughing as he feels your back tensing up around his arm. Akamaru starts growling lowly as a response to sensing both yours and Kibas alert.

Tbh tho.. The reason you’re probably the most panicked is because this is Kiba Inuzuka, you’re hotheaded boyfriend who’s just a smidge bit possessive... and he’s meeting your ex boyfriend who’s overconfident and well, for lack of better words - a douchebag.

Your ex walks up to you two and sizes up Kiba and omfg that pisses your boyfriend off. “Y/n, who’s this guy.” Definitely shows his canines (is it an accident? or did he do it to intimidate this dude? You’ll never know.)

Anyways, your ex is cocky as shit — let’s call him Makki. So he interrupts you before you even get the chance to explain to Kiba who he is, “-Oh y/n, you’ve never mentioned me? I’m Makki, her ex boyfriend.”

Dude probably eats up the pissed off look on Kibas face. Like he’s yikes lmfao he’s really pissed off.

Like who does this cocky shit think he is?? Kiba is ready to fight lol “Oh yeah buddy, that’s real good for yo-“

Your ex just cuts him off... like blatantly ignores Kiba and turns to you, “It’s been a while y/n, you still look as gorgeous as ever...” he winks at you and Kiba growls LMFAOO, but Makki just ignores him. “We’d been together for so long y/n, so how come I never knew you liked... dogs so much.” He stares at Kiba right when he says dogs and he gives him this appalled expression on his face

Kibas confused for a second bc dogs are cute....“But there’s nothing wrong with dogs- oh wait! Hey were you trying to insult me you knucklehead!”

HOLD KIBA BACK HOLD KIBA BACK FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

So you’ve got your boyfriend held back, but you forgot about Akamaru.. rookie mistake. Now that giant dog is running towards Makki and the boy starts sprinting for dear life.

Kiba has a good laughing fit at the sight, “that’ll show him.” But you’re concerned because yes your ex is a douchebag and you did enjoy watching him run away scared, but you don’t want Akamaru to get in trouble for this. So you tell Kiba to go find Akamaru this instant.

“All right all right I’ll get em now... See you tomorrow, same time as today?” You nod hurriedly, wanting him to go Asap. You watch him run off before opening the door to your house and going inside.

Which was another rookie mistake.

Once you were inside he stopped running. He placed his hands behind his neck in a relaxed way as he strolled down the street, whistling like he didn’t have a dog to chase down.

“Have at em’ Akamaru”

Naruto

Yup.. you guessed it, this takes place at Ichirakus. It’s a Friday night and you two had no missions or other commitments to take care of, so he swung by your place and insisted you two go out for ramen.

So there you two sat, chatting away between mouthfuls of ramen when your ex boyfriend slides into the seat next to you.

Narutos oblivious tbh.

Like your ex just sits an elbow on the table and looks at you with a smirk, “hey, y/n, long time no see.” And you’re like.. ew wtf are you doing here.

Unlike Kiba, Naruto can’t pick up on your distaste, he just thinks it’s an old friend of yours. “Hey babe, who’s this guy?”

Your ex just introduces himself by his name and you decide to leave it at that, if you tell Naruto he’s your ex he will just get difficult to handle. So, you introduce Naruto as Naruto to avoid your ex getting all competitive too.

So you kinda avoid all relationship talk altogether and just completely skip over that fact. Honestly you’re half glad you did because Naruto actually gets along with him. Like for starters they both like ramen, are knuckleheaded and very loud. You definitely have a type. And they’re super funny too, so the whole time they’re just kinda laughing with eachother.

Had a good 15 minute long conversation about their favourite instant noodle brand and roasted you for the brand you liked. “Really y/n, that’s shameful.” They both say it in unison.

Also, your ex didnt have the intention to come into Ichirakus and crash your date, it was just a coincidence. So there was no ulterior motives to his presence and he’s not the type of guy to do it tbh. To top it all off he ends up paying for the ramen. Your ex literally pays for both you and Narutos ramen.

Such a weird experience for you tbh, but it’s also kinda funny to watch them both oblivious to your relationship with them.

At the end of the night when your ex heads home, you tell Naruto. Like you’re strolling through the busy Friday night rush and you finally spring it on him because he won’t shut up about your ex.

“Wow that guy was so cool y/n, never knew you had friends like that!” “Well actually Naruto, hes sorta my ex boyfriend.”

His eyes pop out of his head. “WHAT and you’re just telling me this now??” He’s in his head like: damn I should have showed off more or I should have made more jokes to prove that I’m the better one. He’s also like: shit he’s so cool how can he compete???!!1!1!1

Tries to hate your ex from then on, but they’re just so alike he literally cannot.

Luckily you don’t ever run into him like that again.

Sai

So.. let’s just be real here.. if you’re dating Sai you clearly have a type. You go for those emo little artsy boys. The only problem is that your ex boyfriend was an emo preppy rich art boy. You couldn’t stand his attitude anymore so you two broke up.

The only problem is that you live in the Leaf village and there’s very limited art events, so you would always bump into him. Luckily you hadn’t run into him with Sai around.. until now lol

You’re with Sai at an art exhibit that you managed to get him to submit work for. He was hesitant at first, but he gave in because you kept asking, and if he was being honest he wouldn’t mind showing some of his pieces.

So there you two are, standing together like that emo art couple that you are when your ex boyfriend walks in. He literally looks like the definition of avant garde. When he sees you he’s prepared to make some condescending comment, but then he sees Sai and he’s like: oh shit

Let’s be real here if anyone saw you and Sai together it would be an “oh shit” moment. You’re just an art power couple. That doesn’t mean your exes snobbiness would let him back down though.

So, this dude wants to prove he’s superior. When he walks up to the two of you he flat out interrupts the conversation and is like, “y/n, nice to see you,” then he turns to Sai and jusy gets down to business “so? You like art, then?”

Sai doesn’t comprehend the hostility in your ex’s tone so he answers it with a smile, prepared to tell him that this is actually his exhibit before he’s Interrupted again. “-Oh so you like art then? Okay, describe what mediums are used here.” your ex points at one of Sai’s paintings, not aware that he literally fucking painted it because he didn’t let Sai finish speaking.

So of course Sai answers and goes into a whole ramble about what mediums and why and how they bring out the details. Your ex kinda stands there like: “oh shit” again bc damn, he knows his shit.

He just points at another painting and is like, “what about this one.” And as your ex turns to study it better himself he realizes it’s literally you. It’s a painting that Sai did of you when you two first met eachother, you’re laying on the grass laughing and there’s orange hues dancing across your face indicating that the sun is setting. It’s one of Sais absolute favourites.

It’s such a bomb ass fucking painting and your ex just kinda stares at it confused and shook and you have to explain, “my boyfriends work is in this exhibit, he painted that one of me.”

But as I said, your ex is a douchebag and he’s not going to let your boyfriend get a compliment from him so he just goes, “hmph, it’s nothing special.”

And that kinda bothers Sai because that’s his girlfriend in that painting therefore it is very special.

You know where this is going. Naruto said the same line to him before LOL

So Sai hits him with this signature line, “just like your dick.” AND HE SAYS IT W THE FAKE SMILE LMFAO

Now your ex is literally dead. Like he’s flamed. On the floor straight up incinerated. And your trying to hide your laughter.

Security has to escort the guy out.

Very memorable moment for the two of you.

10/10

[doggy-woggy]

Studying Together (Roger Taylor x Reader)

Requested by @spaghetittiesbcimgay: “dude i love ur writing!! could u do one where rogah and reader have been friends since high school and now they’re in college studying for exams?? and basically rogah can’t stop staring @ reader bc he thinks she looks beautiful concentrating like that.. and basically feelings boil over and fluff ensues?? and could u do the same type of thing where reader is doing a self portrait and she hates it bc she’s self conscious but rogah loves it bc it’s her?? thank you so much dude :))|”

A/N: Thanks for the request! I decided to combine your two prompts into one. I’ve never done requests before and I didn’t know how well I can do them so I thought in case this is bad, it’s better to have one disappointment than two :/ It came out very cheesy smh. Also excuse the misleading title since they won’t actually be “studying” in this. Anyway, hope you like it!

Can be read as Ben Hardy!Roger

Words: 1.6k Warning: Fluff, some light cursing Unedited ******************************************

Roger tapped his pencil at the edge of his drawing file as he looked at you. Your head was lying on the armrest of the couch and your feet were stretched into his lap.

“Roger?” you started, not removing your eyes from the paper in front of you. He hummed in response. “Stop that,” you said.

“Stop what?” he asked innocently, with the corners of his mouth turning up.

“The tapping,” you looked up at him seriously.

“Oh.” Roger put down his file and stretched his arms leisurely. He put an arm over the back of the couch and leaned his head on it.

Both of you had to submit a self-portrait for the art class you were taking that semester. You had often studied or worked on projects together since high school. You got work done only half the time because you’d always end up finding ways to distract yourselves in each other’s company. 

But this submission was important and you had both promised to do nothing but work, except Roger just couldn’t focus.

He wasn’t fully conscious of it, but his gaze rested on your face. You looked messier than usual, given the stress of finals, but he loved the way your hair unintentionally fell out around your face. He observed the way your tongue poked out slightly in the look of pure concentration on your face and he smiled to himself.

“Y/N, I’m bored,” he whined.

“Come on, Roger the deadline is this week. If we don’t do this right we might just fail,” you looked at him sadly.

“Nah, we won’t fail,” he said lightly tickling your feet. You laughed and instinctively kicked your foot violently into the air. “Geez,” Roger laughed.

“Not unless you don’t start working on your portrait now.” You reminded him.

He didn’t react, but extended his arm to the side of your head and pulled it back to show you the coin he had supposedly pulled from behind your ear, grinning smugly.

You rolled your eyes. “Roger, come on. You’re distracting me. We promised we will try to focus.”

“Ugh, this is so stupid! How can they grade us on art anyway? Isn’t art the reflection of the soul? And if this is a world where one soul gets to assess the worth of another soul, much less assess it by a presentation that the soul may or may not accurately be able to express, then I don’t want to be in this world,” he huffed.

“Well too bad you’re already in this world. And you don’t get to leave it anytime soon, not without me at least. Now your soul might just be expressed as a little dot on this paper but the professor’s soul sure as hell won’t give you a grade for that.” You sighed. “So, we have to adhere to the rules of this world and make a presentable self-portrait that appeals to the majority of art intellectuals and academics, and most importantly, the professor.” You looked back down to your page and murmured, “Come on. We got this.”

With that, you returned to the file resting on your thigh. Roger’s amused eyes lingered on you for a few moments longer, filled with adoration. He reached for his pencil and returned his attention to his file.

After about an hour, you felt frustration take over. You glanced up to find Roger already looking at you, but he quickly looked away when he saw you noticing.

“Roger I can’t do this!” You said, slapping down your file. He looked up and you continued, “This is impossible. I can’t draw myself. I don’t even remember how I look anymore!”

“Like an ogre,” he smirked.

“Not fucking funny,” you gritted your teeth as you threw a cushion at him. “This looks so ugly.”

Roger peered over your file to look at your portrait, and just blinked at it. “Y/N, this is fantastic,” he whispered. He saw your faithless expression. “I’m not kidding, it really is beautiful,“ he tried to convince but you still looked dejected. “Hey, you know, it looks very you. So at least you've got the concept of self-portrait down?” He offered.

You had your eyebrow cocked as you stared at him weirdly. “Whatever. This was a practice sketch anyway,” you said as you began to rip the page out of the notebook.

“Don’t do that!” Roger cried.

“Look I can’t hand this in. I’ve drawn closed eyelids. And it looks bland. You know I can’t draw eyes for shit but I feel like it looks lazy to draw closed lids without a purpose.” You finished tearing the page, and looked up to see Roger’s expression frozen in panic. Just as you were about to crumple up the page, Roger grabbed your knee to stop you.

“At least-“ he sighed, “at least let me have it.” He avoided your gaze as he took the portrait from your hand, hiding his reddening cheeks, and carefully placed it on the coffee table.

You sat in silence for a minute before you said: “Show me yours.”

“No,” he returned.

You looked at him in disbelief. “Show me!” you pressed as you reached over to grab his file.

“No!” he repeated as he backed the file away from your reach.

You put down your drawing file and got up on your knees to get further. You ignored Roger’s protests as he murmured “No, stop it!” while you climbed over him to get to the file.

Roger loved the proximity, and couldn’t help but glance down at the back of your leg, where your pyjama shorts where high up your thigh, given your stretched-out body. He always loved those shorts on you.

In his distraction, you were able to reach the file, and Roger gave in. You blew out air as you sat down with it and looked at two gorgeous eyes drawn on the sheet.

“Wow,” you gasped. You studied the eyes. Although he pretended to have limited interest in it, you always knew he could draw extremely well, since you’d caught plenty of glimpses of his doodles in his school notebooks. This pair of eyes, however, was breath-taking.

“But they don’t look like yours,” you thought aloud. You didn’t notice how Roger’s cheeks seemed to have changed permanently to crimson. He scratched the back of his neck and put his hand inside the top of his shirt.

“That’s because they’re not.”

“Forgot the ‘self’ in ‘self-portrait Rog?” you laughed. “Well, whose are they then?”

Roger looked at you with an expression you couldn’t decipher. After seeming to contemplate it, he briefly stated, “Yours.”  

You stared at him, confused and not knowing what to say. He seemed uncomfortable. “They’re your eyes, Y/N. I think they’re beautiful.”

“Oh,” you said. “Well...they’re sure prettier on here than the real thing,” you joked, a little taken aback.

“Well, in any case, I can’t ever seem to look away.” He drew in a breath and took your hands in both of his. “Y/N I can’t do this anymore.”

You sat up straighter as you looked at him with concern. “Do what?”

“I can’t keep looking at you and not be able to do anything else.” His eyes roamed the room. “You probably think of me as some kind of an idiot, but…whenever I’m with you I just want to stay with you, and I can’t focus because you’re all I can think about. I’ve wanted to tell you for so long and now I-”

He stopped abruptly as you reached out to brush your knuckles on the side of his head. He looked at you as you gazed back into his wide eyes that were slowly growing droopy. “Roger,” you breathed as you took in his words. “Can I-do you want me to kiss you?”

Roger closed his eyes for a moment as his silent breath quickened. “More than anything,” he said softly, his breath fanning your face.

You leaned forward to brush your lips with his. You then kissed him properly, and felt his arms wrap around your waist. You laced your fingers in his blonde hair as his hands swiftly roamed your body, seeming unable to settle at just one place.

You pulled away to catch a breath, and he chased your lips with his. You looked up at him to see him part his eyelids slowly, a dopey smile playing across his lips.

“Roger, I really like you. No. More than that. I don’t know what it is but I have felt it for quite a while now,” you said nervously.

“Really?” He smiled. “Y/N, you don’t know how happy that makes me. I really, really like you too.”

Silence fell over as you two simply smiled at each other like idiots. Your gaze then dropped to the two pieces of art lying in front of you. “You’ve drawn the part of me that I couldn’t figure out for myself,” you observed, looking at the pair of eyes he drew.

“I suppose that’s right,” Roger chuckled.

You smiled broadly at him and raised your eyebrows. You put on a high pitched voice and a dramatic accent to say “I guess you complete me.”

Roger rolled his eyes but laughed as he pinned you down on the couch to dive in with his lips. Once again, you two had found a way to distract yourselves from work.

**************************

I apparently have a problem with concision. Feedback is very welcome! @theedwardscollection

[missjanjie]

I wanna keep the branjie bus rolling but I can’t think of anything new, ive already submitted so many. so how bout a lil continuation on the boss/secretary lesbian au including the mommy kink?? since, coincidentally those were both me and the fact that you combined them KILLED ME and im thirsty for more💖💖💖

today in: things ive been wanting to write but havent bcs im not sure how people would react...

-

It wasn’t that the people in the office didn’t know –perhaps the only flaw Brooke Lynn visibly had was her lack of subtlety – it’sthat they all valued their jobs too much to say anything. Besides, most of themwould’ve happily done the same thing with either of them if given theopportunity. And as long as they didn’t have to face actual proof of what wasgoing on, they could go on in feigned ignorance.

However, Brooke Lynn and Vanessa took everyone avoiding theelephant in the room as a sincere obliviousness. This spurred them on to takemore risks, push the limits, any excuse to get their hands on each otherwhenever they could. It had gotten to the point where Vanessa would sometimesstay with Brooke in her penthouse for days at a time and they would still feelthe need to fuck at work.

Today was undoubtedly going to be a test of what they couldget away with, because just walking into the building was skating on thin ice.But Brooke Lynn didn’t let that falter her confident stride as she made her wayinto her office with Vanessa on her tail.

The door closed and Brooke smirked. “You’re more eager thanusual today,” she observed. “That excited to try something new, babygirl?” shepropped her legs up on the desk, which made the ‘something new’ all the morevisible, which in turn only made Vanessa more excited. “You want mommy’s cockalready?” she cooed, lightly gripping onto the strap over her clothes.

Vanessa bounded over to Brooke Lynn like an appetent puppy,sitting up on the edge of the desk. “I was patient the whole ride here, wasn’tI?” she giggled.

“Yes, I’m so proud of you for keeping your legs closed fortwenty minutes,” Brooke teased, rubbing her hand up Vanessa’s thigh until itdipped under her dress. “My pretty girl, struggling so hard with impulsecontrol,” she hummed, pushing the dress up to her waist. “You know, I’mstarting to think you don’t actually own underwear,” she joked as she lightlydrew her finger up along her slit.

“But you’ve seen all the pretty lingerie I wear,” Vanessa retortedwith an innocent lightness in her tone. Granted, most of that lingerie waspurchased by Brooke Lynn for that very reason – she filled out a lacy getupbetter than any runway model.

Brooke chuckled as she leaned over to kiss her. “Indeed Ihave, especially judging by all the pictures you let me take of you in them,”every time Vanessa would put on a new, sexy outfit, she just had to capture itfor posterity – that, and it was the only thing actually keeping her fromripping it right back off. “But they all seem to disappear when you enter theoffice,” she mused, kissing her again.

Vanessa let out a soft laugh, cupping Brooke Lynn’s face tokiss her properly, running her fingers through her hair before pulling back, “Maybeit’s the office, I dunno,” she giggled.

“And it only affects you?” Brooke finally stood up, her bodybetween Vanessa’s legs. “What an enigmatic being you are,” she mused, tuggingher dress down from the top and removing her bra to expose her breasts.

“Am I just supposed to guess what that means?” Vanessa askedas she started unbuttoning Brooke Lynn’s blouse. “Fuck it, don’t matter,” shedecided, pulling her back into a kiss, blindly removing her blouse and bra atthe same time.

Brooke smirked and pulled Vanessa to her feet. “Goodthinking,” she replied before turning her around and bending her over the desk.“You ready for me, baby?” she asked as she pushed her pants down to the middleof her thighs, wrapping her hand around the base of the strap-on she hadsecured around her waist, just above her hips. She hadn’t used one sincecollege, and it was Vanessa’s first time, so she had spent a lot of time intomaking sure she picked out just the right one to use on her. Not too big or thick,but more than enough to satisfy her. She gripped onto Vanessa’s side with onehand, the other easing the silicone cock into her, pausing when she bottomedout. “All good?”

Vanessa let out a sharp moan when she finally felt the toypush inside her. “Uh huh,” she exhaled, “Please fuck me, mommy,” she whinedsoftly.

And Brooke Lynn was more than happy to oblige. She held ontoVanessa with both hands, thrusting shallowly at first before building up afirmer, faster pace. The desk rocked beneath them, probably not the most subtleof noises, but it didn’t slow them down for a moment. She snapped her hipsforward each time, determined to hit just the right spots and elicit just theright sounds out of her.

In turn, Vanessa was giving her everything she wanted andexpected, letting out streams of whimpers and moans, of breathy gasps anddesperate begs. Her head hung forward, resting against the desk as her armsbarely held her up. As she got closer, her legs started to buckle, causing herto put more of her body weight against the desk.

Still, Brooke kept her pace, fucking into her with as mucheagerness and passion as Vanessa had on the receiving end. “It’s okay, baby,come for mommy,” she eventually cooed, moving one hand from her waist to rubher clit with the same fervor as her thrusts, waiting until she was fully certainthat Vanessa had rode out her orgasm before slowing to a halt and pulling out. “Now,was that worth the wait?”

Vanessa slumped into Brooke’s chair with a satisfied grin. “Fuckyes,” she took a moment to catch her breath before starting to get dressed.

No sooner had they finished putting their clothes on did thedoor open. “Miss Hytes, I’m sorry, but we got a call about the merger and—” theemployee stopped uncomfortably in his tracks because – while technicallyunexposed – Brooke and Vanessa had awful cases of smeared makeup and sex hair. “I’lljust fax it over,” he mumbled and hurried out of the office.

“You better go get that fax,” Brooke chuckled, lightlysmacking Vanessa’s ass as her secretary left to go into her designated area.While she should have been embarrassed, she found nearly being caught to beamusing, if not arousing. She decided to call her friend on her break to shareit like the funny story she believed it could be.

“Is that the girl that’s been staying over? That you’ve beenbuying lingerie for and eating dinner with?” Nina asked.

“Yes, you know I’ve been having a fling with my secretary,”Brooke confirmed with slightly furrowed brows.

Nina couldn’t help but laugh, “Honey, that’s not a fling,that’s a girlfriend.”

Brooke was relieved that it was only a phone call, as shehad turned a bright crimson. “Goodbye, Nina,” she huffed jokingly beforehanging up. Surely this didn’t mean anything more than what it was…right?

[little-owly]

(1/?)Ok, I'm sorry this is gonna spam your inbox, I wanna write you a story based on the mat//pat picture you drew but I need to be on anon... Hope you like it!

HECK OH MY GOSH ITS ADORABLE!! I EDITED IT TO FIT HERE but as a suggestion -- and i think you had tumblr hit you with an ask limit bc it stopped so suddenly, using the submit would be much easier and you can be anon if you just send it to me and let me know!! BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN AAAAA I LOVE FICS WHERE I OR MY BLOG IS MENTIONED!! SO MUCH!!***Matthew was crying again. He'd been doing that on and off for the past week since everything fell to pieces, and nothing seemed to help him. His latest theory had once again turned him into the joke of the Internet, this time on an impossibly larger scale, and he was receiving constant abuse with almost every comment on his videos. To make matters worse, he was scheduled to make an appearance at a convention the very same week it happened, and several people thought it would be funny to start throwing food at him! A long bubble bath had done nothing to remove the stains now marring his self-confidence, and now here he was, crying in bed into his Peepachu toy, the last safe thing he had left in his life... He barely heard the knocking on the front door, and even when he did, it took all his strength to drag himself over to open it - but he was glad he managed it. His good friend Mark was standing there, looking extremely worried about him. "Oh, h-hey Mark. What's up?" Mat mumbled, trying not to sound as exhausted as he felt and failing miserably. "I saw what happened at the con today, and I wanted to see how you were doing, I had no idea it'd gotten this bad..." Mark was looking at him with such concern, concern Mat was sure he didn't deserve anymore, and suddenly he had collapsed into Mark's arms and was sobbing into the other man's shoulder helplessly, being held tight by strong arms that felt like they'd never let go... "Look, why don't you come stay with me for a few days, buddy? You could use a friend, and honestly, you don't like you've been taking care of yourself..." Mark's voice was low and soothing, and Mat found he couldn't think of anything he'd like more. Five minutes and one small packed bag later - he didn't need much, Mark always let his friends borrow his clothes whenever they were staying over - and they were headed back, the radio playing quietly in the background. Mark didn't say much on the journey back, somehow understanding that Mat wasn't up to casual chit-chat right now. Mat spent not only the car ride there, but the next few days in forlorn silence, simply biting at his thumbnail to try and soothe himself - having his thumb up at his mouth was oddly comforting, but he didn't have the energy to think about why right now. The only thing he could bring himself to do was dig through the Internet and try to find something, anything, positive that had been said about him - a difficult and nearly fruitless search. How could so many people suddenly hate him all at once? He even resorted to digging through the more explicit fanart that he usually avoided, desperate to find anyone who had even a scrap of fondness left for him... That was how he stumbled upon the odd picture. He'd never tried to brave a kink blog before, but his online wanderings had brought him to one that day, and he was feeling so low that he didn't think it could get much worse. The blog had only mentioned him a few admittedly, that had felt nice. But he started to imagine himself in the picture, being small and cared for, having someone help him whenever things felt too hard. If he closed his eyes, he could picture himself perched on the soft plastic, knees tucked up to his chest, a voice that sounded just like Mark's telling him what a good boy he was... "Mat? What are you doing?" Wait, that WAS Mark's voice! Mat squeaked in shock and opened his eyes quickly, dropping his phone from the fright. Mark bent down to pick it up before Mat had the chance, and saw what he was looking at. "Oh boy, you found THAT blog..." He chuckled. "Yeah, I've seen it too, it's got some pretty unusual stuff..." "Do you... Think it's weird?" Mat whispered, heart suddenly pounding in fear. If Mark realised he liked one of the pictures and decided he was too weird... "Not really, I kinda like it - I'm not into everything, but the stuff about me taking care of some of my friends... It's kinda nice, I sorta like the idea of taking care of a little, I guess... Sorry, I know that's probably too much information. What about you?" Mark asked quickly, now blushing slightly. Mat found he suddenly didn't have words, so instead just showed Mark the 'potty picture' as he called it, once again lifting his thumb to his mouth. Mark looked confused for a moment, but then his eyes lit up in delight, and he smiled at Mat in a way he usually reserved for his younger fans. "Do you wanna try and use the potty, Matty?" Mark's voice was soft and playful, and a little more condescending than usual, as though he wasn't sure whether he should make this a joke or take it seriously. Personally, Matty wanted him to talk like that forever! Without thinking, he began to respond to the question with a shake of his head, but then Mark brushed a hand across his tummy and he realised he maybe possibly hadn't gone pee in quite a while, and he quickly switched to a nod. Mark smiled even bigger at that, and quickly pulled him to his feet, leading him into the bathroom then stopping at the door. "OK Matty, how do you wanna do this?" He asked carefully. Matty looked at him in confusion and opened his mouth to ask what he meant, but his eye suddenly caught the little training potty sitting on the floor next to the big potty, almost the same as the one in the potty picture! Mark was explaining something about a new skit video about childproofing his house, but Matty wasn't really listening

[booksbroadwaybbc]

Coming clean via /r/selfimprovement

Coming clean

I'm a dysfunctional hypocritical weak man. Let's break this down in terms of cause and effect: My friends: They're 17/18 They desire high functioning lifestyles. They spend every day centered around their relationships which facilitate mutual shared interests including study at university. They have sex lives, they're well off They post photos and posts on social media showing their relationships, lifestyle and the interests which they feel compelled to share with everyone.

Me: I'm 18 I'm low functioning. I find it hard to get up early in the morning, wash myself fully, keep good hygiene, Forget about interests. i have no money to fuel my interests and no friends to share them with including study. I only use LinkedIn I failed my high school exams pretty much so will be retaking this year Even with a footnote from my gp on my current challenging family situation and manic/very depressed moods which inhibit functioning, Oxford law is out of the question so is lse/ucl I'll get french/econ at Warwick because it's easy to get into . I would project confidence on girls who wanted an honest relationship with me I bullied everyone in my sixth form from twitter I fueded with peers in maths I forgot about university . Those girls are at/going to Oxford/royal college of music I deactivated Twitter/I just use LinkedIn my lifestyle is too low functioning to share on Instagram I destroyed my academic potential; maths/law Oxbridge; will get french/econ at Warwick bc it's a slack course I was on the high academic achievement path but I gave up on myself just when I was meeting people like me . I would treat the above people badly I'd demonise them I couldn't handle the prospect of being successful , having a sex life, being well liked, being a winner So I just destroyed those chances. . I have crazy nutjob beliefs These include Being an alpha male Limiting communication on social media means life is more efficient I'm above the law. . I believe theres A negative effect against me, a conspiracy I can't use Instagram like my friends, share my talents, be a high acheiver, be high functioning the cause of which is I'm objectively right and I'm being maltreated Because people who don't respect me do the above obviously its bad So I don't partake When in fact that's an excuse I make with myself to compensate for the reality that im an irrelevant loser with benevolent successful friends . Right now There is nothing stopping me - retaking my exams - getting a*aa - having sex and being protected - practicing the piano and partaking in musical activities - having real friends - being in love - having hope in my future - doing my degree - living my best life

Girls I could be dating I'm obviously not an option because I don't market myself . All of the above is possible but i make up these irritational excuses I'm objectively better I will be bullied Who am I to attain my potential I'm irrelevant Living my best life, what a sick joke If anyone cared for me they'd tell me, I wouldn't have to reach out . To confound I'm satirical, I lightly troll people to amuse myself in a good humoured way Why are we all so awful and retarded like come on also ik Warwick is a slackers way in so the whole a2 failure episode is me edging? i love the thrill of being on the edge of fucking up my life im an out of control edgy boi . If I can't treat relationships seriously i will do cbt . hey ho it doesn't help that your eccentric parents literally never supported you except with food and a bed then act like that's all that's needed nah love, maybe rewarding good behaviour, mentoring? Loads of lessons for my kids No animosity My dad is a beast and my mother is beautiful but they cant function in their role as parents

I'm 18 fml uni at 19 Probably working at Fortum and Masons whilst revising in the local library

I like proving obscure points I'm edgy Could have just fun sexy times and dating and gonewild posts and uni but no i have to fail and retake i have to be an ironic low functioning person i have to do uni a year late at best i have to 3rd rule sarc react to everyone in my life I have to have these pretty intelligent good hearted amazing girls think im a fool

Devil's advocate There is no rational cause to the above effect it's giving myself a reason to be a victim but tbf im low on money and logistical requirements and neither of the girls im into or me could go to each others cribs bc of our parents

i even make myself perceived as 1/20000 Blackstone applicant econ top of my class french russian concert pianist funny etc

yet i still find a way to fuck up it's like i don't want girls to buy into my life my identity

if I'm perceived as the above then on paper I'm the guy your man should worry about but yet im losing

hey trump doesn't fucking help disrupting the usa cant tell if it's amazing or really bad

and comparing myself to Michael Bloomberg doesn't help

what about believing my haters opinions of me above my own empathy huh

or having the mentality of a 12 year old partly because kanye said it's cool

or being mercilessly bullied for most of school with elapses of being a popular legend including by a supposed good friend of mine who i knew was dumber then me but hey I'm a satirical meme

or reasoning better then the staff of your school because you subordinate them after a twitter rant which was the direct narrative continuation of your prepubescent starry eyed love for this really fit chinese girl who i sometimes see from time to time with low self esteem who you meme because life is a wierd and wonderful timeline

just some shit to get off my chest much love x

oh yeah also i only communicate or move between rooms in my environment if certain criteria are fulfilled as they relate to my academics anyone else is listening material also

my self concept and sense of control over my own destiny is so outlandish it can't be believed it's twilight zone/the onion/seth mcfarlane

which obviously is annoying

I live for my beliefs law of attraction

introducing myself to someone new nah introduce yourself to me

i feel insecure in terms of grades its fucked it became a negative self fulfilling prophecy but I'm loved I'm well respected my potential and thought leadership is admired . signing orf night x

Submitted September 23, 2018 at 02:29AM by dopamineway via reddit https://ift.tt/2zoHbzD