#they just had terrible writers

[lord-pigeon]

Deadass I can't think of like, a new single....single 5-star guy in E7 off the top of my head rn (read: that doesn't look like he's 14)

The only one I can think of off the top of my head was Mort and he was almost two years ago now

[foundfamilynonsense]

Y’know. Anakin was a real asshole in Ahsoka’s hallucination.

Like. She mentions something about what she’ll be able to teach her padawan one day, since all she’s being taught is how to be a soldier, and Anakin’s like “teaching’s not all it’s cracked up to be”

And like. Asshole move. And Ahsoka rightfully calls him out on it. And he goes on the whole “uuuh I was joking. Lighten up.” Literally a complete jackass.

But beyond how he answered the question, it’s a valid complaint Ahsoka is bringing up! Anakin’s teaching her how to live or die. But Ahsoka wants to be taught how to be a jedi.

What happens after the war is over (order 66 never happens) and she now has to navigate a galaxy without a war? The Jedi take teaching very seriously there’s no greater honor than teaching a padawan. And she’s not being accurately taught, so she will not be able to pass anything on to the next generation.

But Anakin brushes it aside because he simply does not respect her or her wishes. Like. He never wanted a padawan, despite teaching being foundational to the Jedi. And he only took ahsoka in because he started to like her and became attached to her. He doesn’t care about jedi legacy, not really. So he brushes her comment off with a joke.

But in the rest of the vision… idk it didn’t feel like we were supposed view Anakin as entirely wrong here. He wasn’t in the right, he was definitely channeling Vader and being an ass, but he was basically the reason Ahsoka survived the fall, right? Bc he was making her choose life? When Ahsoka wins against him it’s sort of like she’s both learned his lesson and moved beyond him. And then for the rest of the season he’s only talked about in positive ways.

And like. That one line ahsoka said was really powerful in relation to the entire point of the show. What does she have to pass onto her own padawan (Sabine) if she wasn’t properly trained herself? That is, perhaps, the only valid plot question asked in the entire show. And it doesn’t get an answer. It’s never even brought up again.

[andromeda3116]

rereading order of the stick (again), and greyiew is only in a few comics so far but man do i love this nihilistic wolf

[youhavethewrong]

do you guys remember when Attack On Titan had a fucking Looney Tunes Babies style spin off where all the characters were in junior high and the titans were just bullies and eren was mad at them because they ate his hamburg steak and it was legitimately better than the original

[prouvaireafterdark]

I personally don't think season 3 will or should be Lestat writing his own book. First of all, because of the abuse, I sincerely think any Lestat POV also needs another party present to call him out and not just let the audience assume his side is the truth, otherwise it will seem like the show is implicitly taking the abuser's side of the story (especially after how it framed Daniel's role in digging through Louis's story). Either he will show up to the penthouse and continue the "interview" framing or he will tell his story to Louis so both can be there to hash out what happened between them or something of that sort.

A straight up Lestat POV where he gets to paint himself as the victim would be pretty gross after what we've seen him do honestly and honestly why would the audience take anything he has to say seriously?

Okay I'm gonna be really honest here, unless Louis and Lestat's reunion has already happened and/or he's in a coma in the basement, I have no idea how people expect him to crash the interview at this point. Like it just does not make sense to me that he would just magically appear like that.

Honestly, I would much prefer that Lestat skips the memoir part and becomes a famous rockstar after reading Louis' interview and asks Louis to meet him with his song lyrics/media exposure so he can tell Louis his story himself before the San Francisco concert because that means we get maximum Louis. If Daniel is there to call him out on his bullshit, all the better, but I do want the story from Lestat's lips because the comedy of his narration is just too good to pass up. I've waited 15 years to hear Lestat describe himself with his own clown mouth and I hope season 3 doesn't disappoint.

Also, I just want to mention this because I feel like when people talk about Lestat there's a tendency to think about Lestat discussing his trauma as him painting himself as the victim and it really grates on me because two things can be true at once. Like, Lestat isn't the victim in his relationships with Louis and Claudia, obviously, but he absolutely was a victim. He was horrifically abused and neglected by his family his entire life growing up and was abandoned by every person he ever loved, even his own mother after he saved her life by making her a vampire bc she never wanted to be his mom (or a mom at all) in the first place. He is profoundly fucked up because of these traumatic events and they have a direct relationship to why he was so abusive to Louis and Claudia. Like he's probably got every trauma-induced personality disorder in the DSM-5 and literally cannot regulate his emotions or make himself stop being terrible until Louis hits his hard factory reset button and gives him an intervention by making him rot in the dump for a while so he's forced to think about what he's done.

Does that excuse any of his horrific behavior? No.

Does that mean he shouldn't have to atone for his bad decisions and the pain he's inflicted on other people? No.

Does that mean we should take every word he says as gospel and cast suspicion on Louis and Claudia's narratives? No.

But that doesn't mean every word out of his mouth is a lie either, and honestly, it's not like Lestat ever says "actually, every bad thing Louis and Claudia said I did was a lie because they're liars and I was a perfect father and husband and they tried to kill me for no reason." He fully admits that Claudia was right to kill him and that it's the kind of thing he would have done himself.

And like, in order for there to be a cycle of abuse, one has to first be abused. That's just how it works. And I don't really get why people are so set on erasing Lestat's traumatic history or viewing it as an either/or situation where only one of them is allowed to have been a victim of abuse and that if Lestat is allowed to talk about his abuse in season 3 he's by definition excusing his actions and challenging Louis' narrative.

I feel like part of the point of Anne Rice's work is that these vampires are, all of them, extremely monstrous AND deeply traumatized. They are both victims AND victimizers. It's what makes them so compelling and nuanced. I don't understand why some people want Lestat to be a cartoon villain with no redeeming qualities or path to redemption, and I also don't know why people seem to think that a season 3 from Lestat's perspective can only mean that the audience will not be asked to question or interrogate his perspective the way they've been asked to with Louis and Claudia in season 1.

Like, after everything they made Lestat do in season 1, if you're genuinely worrying that the writers are going to say "none of Louis or Claudia's trauma happened at all and actually Lestat was a perfect, sad angel the whole time who was unjustly wronged by Louis and Claudia and this is something you, the audience, are meant to uncritically believe because Lestat bat his eyelashes while he said it," I literally don't know what to say. It sounds ridiculous because it is.

There's just no way they're doing that and I think everyone should take a breath and stop stressing over it.

[aho-dapa]

This fandom is honestly...

Like, there is something to be said about fandoms in general and how they've changed as a whole generally but

There's also something about how the acotar fandom is especially toxic like

The idea that a post is surprised a murder hasn't happened yet and I found myself agreeing??? Is honestly telling

Like, also. A massive part of this is shipping and maybe it's because I have my corner of this fandom, but even then shipping the "wrong" thing in general has become something I honestly have to take in consideration when thinking of my mental health and if I can personally be prepared for any backlash??

This fandom at large doesn't feel safe and that's majorly concerning tbh

Maybe instead of saying shippers as a group are doing harm, we should just disavow harmful actions in general and not be complicit in it idk???

[ninjafuuzz]

Hoffstrahm AU kinda thing idk

CW for mental health issues and su!c!de

OK LISTEN

What if post-glass coffin Hoffstrahm AU where Hoffman spares Strahm bc he pussies out at the end and couldn’t bear seeing Strahm die after his arm was starting to snap. Hoffman fixes him up (does a lowsy job at it ofc), Strahm miraculously survives the injury , he gets kidnapped and thrown in some cabin in the countryside where Hoffman feeds him and stuff, keeping him alive. Peter, still shell-shocked and helplessly incapacitated, stays with him. So Strahm lives but is so PTSD-ridden he can’t even function normally, he gets paranoia and panic attacks and practically depends on Hoffman like a little child.

LIKE okay I know this is kinda another typical “Strahm-survives” kind of premise for a fic but listen. While Hoffman, who is, at the time, still the cold-blooded selfish murderer that he is, initially treats Strahm like a dog and lets him live out of mere pity, he SLOWLY realises, through his actions, that he actually wants to care and protect this utterly broken man who’s a result of his doings, and inevitably falls in love. (cue the florence nightingale effect) Hoffman begins cooking him meals, from imprisoning him inside the home to walking with him everyday when the sky’s clear, washing his hair, showing him his favorite films or music, letting Peter sleep in his arms whenever he has a nightmare.

I suppose we could imagine Strahm being so traumatised and wounded he’s drained of his usual rationality and temper and that’s why he lets Hoffman baby him. But of course Strahm isn’t COMPLETELY broken. His symptoms lessen, he gets better but still has frequent attacks. After some time he regains his usual wit and nature. At one point of course he simply realises what’s been happening and goes batshit angry. Hoffman sympathetically and patiently works it out with him. Strahm resists at first, perhaps by trying to kill Hoffman and escape or even attempting k!ll!ng himself. After trial and error and lots and lots of blood sweat and tears, Strahm starts realising that Hoffman genuinely cares… and not out of pity, but love. His mental instability and wanted status leaves him crawling back to Hoffman whenever he tries to run away.

Eventually Hoffman stops killing and cuts ties with Kramer. All his resentment and vengeance now replaced by his attachment to Peter. As for Strahm, he takes a tad longer to give in, and to accept the fact that he’s actually content and at peace when he’s with Hoffman and break through the moral boundary(aka the fact that Hoffman used to be a reckless bloodthirsty killer). Hoffman pretty much retires and wants to pursue a different way of living with Strahm.

And after everything, they end up becoming two runaways living in a wooded cabin surrounded by forests and mountains, secluded from a tiny town where they work together among the locals, indifferent to the past they’ve left behind. They’d go hiking and fishing, watch all the shitty films Mark would bring home, plant a garden, cut lumber, play-fight and cuddle in grass fields. Mark tending to Peter whenever he gets a panic attack, Peter learns to get used to receiving such solace. Slowly it becomes this usual, domestic thing between them. Perhaps one day one of them would propose to the other. Perhaps they’d grow old together, too.

-

P/S i was listening to The Bug Collector by Haley Heynderickx when I had this thought. i suppose i kind of saw this poetic analogy between “the bug” and Strahm’s chronic issues and inner conflicts that Hoffman wants to get rid of while Hoffman is the “bug collector” so to speak??.. idk interpret it however you will but this song truly inspired the whole mess. kinda fitted the misty earthy mountains vibe i was going for with this prompt too. really suggest you guys give the song a listen its beautiful. i also suggest checking out the genius annotation of the lyrics

[42deg]

watching house is a trip but hearing the writers early opinions is so funny "he's not autistic he's just an eccentric jerk" "house isn't in love with wilson they're both straight" not only did you write an autistic bisexual you also gave him adhd and complex ptsd.

[wishesofeternity]

"Stratonike evidently retained the Akkadian royal title used for her even after [her husband] Antiochos’ death, since the astronomical diary entry identifies her as šarratu, in logograms GAŠAN, which means “queen.” In earlier centuries under previous regimes this title could not be used of a royal woman unless she also ruled. As suggestive as this is, there is no direct corroborating evidence for Stratonike exercising rulership, unless we credit her influence with her children as a form of political dominance. The trope of the domineering dowager queen mother should be familiar enough from interpretations of other royal families throughout history. But the diary, normally fairly precise in noting royal family connections, does not call her “mother [or widow] of the king,” meaning that at least some people remembered Stratonike as a queenly figure on her own, without reference to male relatives. This is an interesting hint at how these royal women could carry out their duties so as to be regarded as individual rulers in their own right."

-Gillian Ramsey, "Apama and Stratonike: The first Seleukid basilissai," "The Routledge Companion to Women and Monarchy in the Ancient Mediterranean World" (edited by Elizabeth D. Carney and Sabine Müller)

[tarragonthedragon]

i keep seeing people criticising tv shows and movies by being like "i thought x character was bad but im NOT BLAMING the actor i think the actor is GREAT and WONDERFUL i blame the WRITERS and DIRECTORS"

usually this is directed at female characters and characters of colour and like while i understand the impulse to not dunk on actors and actresses who are more likely to be receiving really shitty hate comments just for existing i do think a) the attacks on writers and directors are also really mean and personal sometimes? and also b) this feels incredibly performative

[momo-t-daye]

Consequences had always been things that happened to other people.

Oh, Sirius had had his fair share of detentions (but he and James could make detention more entertaining than their initial shenanigans) and screaming matches with his mother (even if he couldn’t win those, he could at least make sure that Walburga lost); but those were just things that happened, those weren’t really his fault.  He wasn’t prepared for consequences, he wasn’t prepared for any fallout, he hadn’t thought of anything past his plan to make Severus Snape go away.

He hadn’t expected Remus to be so upset.  Remus wasn’t willing to talk to him, Remus wasn’t even willing to look at him!  Remus was acting more like a martyr than a marauder.

He had expected Snape to be scared, he’d wanted Snape to be scared, getting Snivellus to go away was the whole point of it all, and scaring Sniv off was what success looked like.  Watching Sniv skitter around corners, go quiet in the classroom, and fold in on himself— that was a victory, right?

He hadn’t expected James to be so angry.  He couldn’t understand why James was so angry.  James had never been angry at him before.  Not really angry.  Not angry enough to stop talking.

He had expected Dumbledore to be disappointed, Headmaster Dumbledore was an authority figure and he was very good at disappointing authority figures.  But, even while disappointed with Sirius, Dumbledore had made sure to protect Remus, so it really should be all right (Remus shouldn’t be upset, James shouldn’t be angry, Peter shouldn’t be the only one of them willing to pass the salt or say good morning).

He hadn’t expected Narcissa to seek him out while he moped along the corridors in baffling solitude after a lonely lunch, to take his arm and guide him off to a quiet hallway soaked in dusty sunlight.  He hadn’t expected her to say that she understood him, that dear Aunt Wally would be so very proud of him for his efforts to maintain and uphold the natural hierarchy, but (over his spluttering protests), that he really needed to pick a different half-blood to torment because Severus Snape was her pet project and she would be so dreadfully put out if anything ghastly happened to that boy.

She knew he knew about pet projects, she said with a pretty little smile, what, with Remus Lupin.

The bottom had dropped out of Sirius’ world as his cousin, with her pretty doll face benign and benevolent, began to insinuate a picture of a future he hadn’t bothered to imagine, a future he hadn’t expected.

Severus hadn’t told her about Remus Lupin, she said before his accusations could fly.  He’d thought Dumbledore had fixed things, that it really was going to be all right, that Snape wouldn’t, couldn’t— !

No, Severus had been reticent, almost recalcitrant.

But Remus Lupin had confessed when Lily Evans asked.  Remus Lupin had been ready to crack, absolutely bursting with guilt and boiling with grief.  Why, Narcissa hadn’t needed to do anything beyond pointing dear Lily in the right direction.  

So now she knew about Remus Lupin.

She surmised that Dumbledore knew about Remus Lupin, particularly given Sirius’ blithe attitude (wasn’t it amazing how fast that could evaporate?), but, she wondered innocently, did the Board of Governors know about Remus Lupin?  Goodness, did the editors at the Daily Prophet know about Remus Lupin?

Her tone was so solicitous and soothing that it made Sirius sick to his stomach. 

Certain pertinent information was readily available to anyone that could access and peruse the Lycanthrope Registry.  Did Sirius remember that Bella’s former roommate, the surviving one that hadn’t run off to another continent before graduation, Rita (what a gem) was trying to establish herself as a full-time contributor to the Daily Prophet?

“You can’t,” he’d said, his mouth dry and his throat tight with terror.  “Cissy, you can’t tell.”

“Oh, Siri,” she’d sighed and he couldn’t tell whether she was bemused or amused.  “You’re wrong.  I can, I can tell whomever I so please.  The only question is whether I shall.”

Writing the right letter to the right person would be simple, Narcissa was little “Miss Missive”; but Narcissa wasn’t inclined to contact her darling papa or her dear sister’s former roommate about this little issue just yet.  There was still a chance Sirius could aid her in resolving this situation discreetly.

She didn’t particularly dislike Remus Lupin.  Even if she felt that introducing Sirius to those muggle velour tracksuits was completely unforgivable, she could admit that it wasn’t the sort of crime that really warranted death or Azkaban. Furthermore, while she didn’t particularly like Albus Dumbledore, she didn’t particularly loathe him either.  Even if Dumbledore was a bit of a political nuisance, she found that an eccentric headmaster rattling around the school could usefully produce a number of charming little anecdotes to sprinkle into her regular correspondence (Griselda Marchbanks, for one, thought Dumbledore stories were delightful).

Still, Remus Lupin and Albus Dumbledore were sacrifices she was willing to make if Sirius would not cooperate.

She was, primarily, concerned that setting off the chain of events that could lead to the imprisonment and/or execution of a classmate (and/or dangerous Dark creature) along with the Headmaster’s removal and replacement would be dreadfully disruptive; particularly since their O.W.L.s were coming up in a handful of months.

Severus was looking forward to taking the O.W.L.s and Narcissa had no wish to deprive him or to distract or detract from his experience.  Good marks on O.W.L.s could help when one’s blood hindered.  Unfortunately, death or dismemberment would make it very difficult for him to take his O.W.L.s.

She would go so far as to tolerate Severus being disgruntled about disrupted exams if Sirius offered her no other choice.

He’d thought Bella, with her habit of breaking all his favorite things when she was bored, was the scary cousin.  Prissy Cissy, with her pristine dresses and fussy golden curls done up with ribbons and porcelain doll face and her proclivity for keeping her hands clean and frivolous fondness for needlework and gossiping with the old ladies, had never frightened him.

Now Narcissa stood before him with a terrible little smile, unspooling a vision of a world in which she broke some of his favorite people for his imagination and he was frightened.  

He was trapped in a web of his own making, he would dance like a puppet on a string for her or she would take that string spun from his web and use it as a noose for Remus. It was all his fault, no wonder Remus and James were both furious.

“What do you want?”

She looked at him as though she couldn’t decide whether he was dense or only pretending to be obtuse.

Very carefully, as though talking to a small child or a senile auntie, she informed him that he was to leave Severus alone.

There would be no hexing in the hallways, no shoving on the stairs, no cursing in the classroom, no jinxing in the Great Hall.  He would no longer be permitted to torment, taunt, prank, or persecute Severus without risking her ire.  And, for goodness sake, Sirius was to cease and desist with that utterly appalling appellation they’d stuck on the poor boy.  It was juvenile and inelegant and dull.

She expected he would also enforce this new standard of behavior on cousin Jamie, that Pettigrew boy, and Remus Lupin.  That bit wouldn’t be terribly difficult for Sirius, she said, as Remus Lupin was all but born to wave the white flag at any pitfalls in his path, the Pettigrew boy was all too happy to mimic the manners and morals of the more magnetic personalities in his vicinity, and Lily Evans was having a little chat with Jamie about some possible futures right about now.

She trusted that she and Sirius understood one another.  It was so nice to have had this little chat, to finally have clear communication with her cousin.

Now she really needed to go find Severus and let him know that all was well, there was nothing to fear, that Sirius and his little cronies would behave from now on.  They would behave, wouldn’t they?

With a chaste kiss on his cheek and a half-maternal pat on his head, she departed and Sirius, shaken by the genteel menace, stumbled towards the Gryffindor tower.  He wanted to talk to James, he needed to talk to James.  He hoped James would talk to him.

He met Lily Evans on the stairs, she was cold with rage and her eyes were hard.

“Oh,” she said, “Narcissa found you.  Good.”

He froze as she swept past, red hair tied up with one of Narcissa’s embroidered ribbons.  Green velvet.  Very nice floral motif. Some sort of daffodil.

“Black!” She called up, as if in afterthought, “I expect Narcissa was rather too nice to you since you’re both family.  If anything happens to Sev, if you hurt him ever again, just know that I won’t be nice at all.”

It should’ve been laughable.  Lily Evans was just some middle-class muggleborn girl from some nowhere town.  Who cared if she was or wasn’t “nice”?

She didn’t have Walburga’s temper or Bella’s humor, she didn’t have Narcissa’s connections, she didn’t have a Gringotts vault, she didn’t have generations of magical knowledge to consult or a childhood home full of really nasty curses.  Yet she looked prepared to lay a flock of geas upon him.

“Fine,” he said.  “I’ll lay off Sni—” her eyes were narrowed and his tongue bent towards an unfamiliar articulation, “—aaape.  Snape.”

He wondered, for a moment after she was gone, whether, or perhaps why, Cissy had given Evans that ribbon for her hair.

Remus’ bed curtains were shut and so were the curtains around James’ bed.  Peter was nowhere to be found and Sirius didn’t have the map (he suspected Remus had monopolized the map over the last week and was using it to avoid him).

James didn’t come to dinner and Remus moved to the other end of the long Gryffindor table with Peter trailing behind him as soon as Sirius sat down.  It was awful, and all the more awful when he noticed Snape watching him from across the Great Hall, flanked by Narcissa and Lily Evans, whispering to one another like sisters.

He hardly slept, he wanted to talk to James, or maybe Remus, or even Peter, but they had conspired to ignore him.  He was still awake when James slipped out of the room before the clocks had managed to find their way to six AM.

Quidditch practice, perhaps? 

Perhaps not, Otto Bagman wasn’t a fan of sunrises.

Sirius snuck out after James, if he could just corner James, just talk to James, just warn James, then maybe, maybe things could be all right.  If he could talk to James, then they could come up with a plan together, and maybe they could fix everything.

James wasn’t in the common room loo, where Sirius had expected to corner him while his pants were down and he wouldn’t run.

Instead, perhaps anticipating pursuit, James had gone out to the  sixth-floor bathroom.  It was early enough there wouldn’t be a swarm of first years competing for the one good shower.

James’ eyes were puffy and red-rimmed and his expression went stormy when he spotted Sirius in the mirror sidling up to the next sink.  He even went as far as to turn his back to Sirius and began to brush his teeth while perpendicular to the counter.

It would’ve been funny if it wasn’t awful, if Sirius didn’t suspect that James had been crying all night, if it wasn’t his fault for not thinking about the future beyond making Severus Snape go away.

There was a silent breach between them now that Sirius could not begin to broach.

 Perhaps because he was overwhelmed with angst as he washed his face for the third time in eight silent minutes, waiting for James to finish brushing his teeth, Sirius was caught unawares.  He couldn’t have expected Severus Snape to appear in the bathroom— the sixth-floor bathroom was well within Gryffindor territory and far from the depths of the dungeons where the Slytherins dwelt—, and wedge himself into the narrow gulf between Sirius and James’ silent back.  It would be utterly uncharacteristic of Severus Snape to place himself, isolated and vulnerable, in their power, it was the last thing Sirius could’ve expected.

But Snape was there, practically touching Sirius, practically touching James, intent on his own reflection as he drew dark lines around his eyes like he wanted to be some kind of wretched raccoon.

James nearly choked on his toothbrush, which was enough to convince Sirius that he wasn’t hallucinating Snape’s presence and bizarre behavior.

“Hmm?” Said the horrid little gremlin, “Did you say something, Black?  Potter?” And the question mark was shaped like a scorpion poised to strike.

“No-!” James said, all but frothing at the mouth, “No,” he said again, to Sirius this time. “Don’t.” It was the first thing he’d said directly to Sirius in the last several days. 

“No, nothing, uh, no,” Sirius agreed, desperate for James to keep talking to him.

“Ho ho,” Snape murmured, now focused on applying appallingly black lipstick to his thin smirk. “Indeed, indeed.  My, how the tables have turned!”

Then it hit Sirius like the wrath of the Whomping Willow: this was a test.

Narcissa, and Lily Evans perhaps, had established the boundaries of the new regime.  Now, Inspector Snape had arrived like a malicious ballerina with toes en pointe upon the very line that Sirius mustn’t cross.

Over Snape’s head, James was urgently trying to beg Sirius to hold his tongue without uttering a word himself and Sirius was earnestly trying to convey via pantomime that he understood and would be as mute as a swan.  

The wink, far more subtle than the semaphore, was a sadly limited method of communication, and neither James nor Sirius had ever learned sign language. 

Severus, with feigned disinterest in the pair desperately attempting, and failing, to spontaneously develop telepathy, produced a small onion from one pocket and a rather large kitchen knife from the other.  Then, with exaggerated care and precision, he cut the onion crosswise and appeared to savor the lachrymatory aroma.

Sirius and James froze, in a tableau of horror, as inky tears rolled down Snape’s smiling cheek.

“What the—?”  Sirius gasped, his own eyes watering as Snape, blinking rapidly, proceeded to store the onion halves in a jar and rinse his kitchen knife.

“It’s called fashion, Black,” Snape declared with manic cheer.

“Oh, uh, very, uh, very pretty…?” James offered weakly.

Sirius nodded along, despite knowing full well that the list of the season’s top looks did not include ‘sad nightmare clown’.  It was one thing to wear a fetching taxidermy koala on your head, but no one sensible wanted to go around looking like a miserable panda.

The unhinged lunatic, evidently satisfied with himself, smirked at the feeble compliments.  Sirius had never seen Snape look so happy as he did right then, waltzing out of the bathroom to get a start on Saturday.

“He’s gone mad with power, hasn’t he?” Sirius whispered.

“We’re doomed,” said James, and Sirius felt his heart swell with joy.

They were a ‘we’ once more.  They were friends again.

For James (and for Remus too, of course, of course), Sirius would endure ten thousand temptations from Severus Snape.

[dennisboobs]

one day i will properly compare dee made a smut film and ptsdee and the differences in the way they handle their very similar subject material but i have shit to do early tomorrow morning so. for now.

do you ever think about how RCG-written episodes, no matter how bad (both character morality-wise and writing-wise) they get, will always have a degree of humanity to them. like. 11x04 has dee doing something that is So incredibly wrong and horrible to dennis. but the reactions to it don't match its intensity. 12x07 again has dee doing something absolutely fucking deranged, and the gang tells her how fucked up it was. there's actually an acknowledgement both from her and from the others that what she did was awful, but her motivation, charlie, dennis, frank and mac's motivations throughout the episode make sense. dee's insecurity is the root of it, she can't handle being someone's "rock bottom", and she needs to prove that it can get worse. 11x04 dee just decides she's going to be a bastard and tell everyone that dennis was raped at 14. we don't know why she does this, and she really has no reason to, other than to be an asshole.

[urlocallesbiab]

sorry to everyone who's been missing me/waiting for something from me, i've been slipping in and out of depressive fog for a week or two (and in general have experienced significantly worse depression than normal for a couple years, but that’s another story)

i long to get back, too; a lot of things to read and ideas to write and people to talk to. love y'all, take care

[anadorablekiwi]

Brain malfunctioning

Thoughts broken

Anxiety constant

Trigger unknown

Solution also unknown

[sharkface-daydreams]

alrighty, AU time. some of these are partially posted. some are partially written. some of them will never see the light of day and/or are only half formed ideas shaped by delirious whimsy. but i think they're fun.

tagging @autisdicksimmons bc this is your fault (affectionate)

Thread Gulch Chronicles - the 4th wall touching cross stitch au. still haven't decided if i want to do anything related to framing

Andy the bomb but turn him into a ship ai and give him a crush on a dirty little shisno au - partially posted as of rn but the guy who works on this isn't out very much so it's in limbo kinda

Tripartite "villains in love" au (i know the name is stupid, bite me) - all take place in the same universe. stassney lives and ends up Stockholm syndromed with Felix who he rescues from dying at the bottom of the tower, locus realizes Doyle's romantic notions of soldiers are actually what's correct and either they fuck off together and Doyle fakes his death or locus surrenders idk haven't decided, and sharkface and price say fuck all this shit and fuck off into the aether for a happy ever after. there's some bits posted as the Unfettered [WIP snips] on ao3

Afterburner - Hargrove recovers Sigma and Sigma is given to sharkface to assist in killing freelancers (underdeveloped, that's literally all i have written lmao)

Double Triple - the triplets and the trio trying to make the best of their ice planet abandonment with hijinks and nonsense and dwindling supplies

Foxtrot Echoes - the honeypot au: version 1 contains no actual York ai but it's completely contrived and hinges on sharkface being a good enough actor to fool Carolina, wash and epsilon in order to get closer enough to kill them. bro fails step 1 tho and falls for Carolina and has to come clean thereby destroying the whole reason he'd confessed. angst!!! version 2 contains actual York ai but he's an early attempt by freelancer to acquire another ai so he's not technically a smart ai but he's still an ai and his and shark's psyches bleed into each other a bit

Heartstrings au - I only have Gravity posted bc tbr the rest of this is completely self indulgent Locington schmoop but I'm always a sucker for a good betrayal plotline

Shark mechanic au! the feds n news scoop up a fishy enemy and as they need all hands on deck he helps them as a mechanic and bonds a bit with the ducklings

modern band au - shark in a band with wash, south, pills and sleeves, all sorts of drama. not very well developed but lots of Sharklina angst

Xmas sharcus bit - this might get written eventually. modern au where the mercs gang gathers at Locus' for the holiday and during an argument with Felix, shark breaks an ornament that's really important to his bf locus… then works really hard to fix it but it's like glass u know so it's a huge pita. idk. Christmas schmoop, i was miserable on antivirals when i did this lol

the Sharklix "get worse together" enemies who fuck to kinda friends who fuck and also get revenge together au. unlikely to be posted, it's a little too self indulgent lol

games of the heart - au where Sharkface realizes he can't beat the freelancers physically so he suckers wash into falling for him so he can turn around and shred his heart to pieces. underdeveloped, self indulgent

get your kicks - the long haul trucker/greasy spoon waiter lolix au featuring unhappily married locus and licherally dying of boredom working for tips along the desert freeway Felix (thanks Ross for the line i took and ran with 💖) also the road is route 66 and modeled after the old route 66 on earth for novelty reasons

Lazarus - locus does his good guy shtick and returns often to help a sangheili colony and winds up with an alien baby. someone activates a temple of regeneration on chorus, and now alive Felix goes hunting for revenge. parts of this posted in scribbles n bits but it's not a full thing in the first place

the Locnut farm family rivalry au with donut and his two moms next door to locus and his two dads who are in a Midwestern rivalry but the two of them are getting along much too well

MaceFace! Mason and Sharkface run into each other at physical therapy and get chummy and eventually set out together for revenge since Lolix and the freelancers are both on Chorus

The Outriders AU - an enormous crossover undertaking with characters in the Outriders game universe… this will probably never be done but i got great plans for it. the mercs and a few others get freaky superpowers, there's an epic quest for info to secure survival, and Dr Church is trying to reverse engineer the superpowers unethically and causing problems so what else is new

MetaNut meet-cute/horny au where donut doesn't get shot bc Meta gets attached and also yanks donut over the cliff with him during the fight but they both survive and work their way back up to civilization while everyone else assumes them dead. plural meta au ✌️ also they have a little cottage with a garden and bees

the "no-PFL" SharkPrice AU where Price is hired at the same Charon building untoasted Sharkface is working security for and also Price and Dr Church are bitter exes and Church thinks Price is cradle-robbing when he sees them together

red Team Shark AU where Boose and Shark are friends and bond over losing your friends

Tear The Throat - also known as the SharKey AU (the one that comic is about) where Sharkface gets the key because he grabs it and tosses it to Felix not knowing it bonds to one person. This is a Chorus-loses AU bc they can just turn the key on the purge and call it a day and cash in.

WashFace au where Wash and Terrence were together before whatever shit happened that got Wash almost court martialed and sent to PFL, and Wash doesn't shoot when Sharkface makes his little "as long as I'm alive" speech bc he recognizes him when he takes off his helmet. and shark is like wtf you're supposed to be DEAD and gdi he can't kill wash now this is fucking unfair

extremely underdeveloped Dragon Age au with Sharkface as an apostate fire mage but like that's literally all there is to it lmao … shape shifter with dragon form could be fucking cool tho

fucking hell i forgot the Yurch au, that shit just started sprawling. yellow church gets stuck in cabooses head after church's time travel shenanigans in s3? and then yoinked out into a spare Android body and now there's a new guy on Blue team but he's church but he's not. blue church gets sent to rats nest with the others instead of isolated and they rescue all the fragments. EL/NOD AU. this is also what i made my freelancer OCS for but only Rhode island is actually in the story until they get to chorus. few variations on that one

[sigurdjarlson]

Was reading some of am old friends raventrust stories and god very few people have ever written them so perfectly and with such love and care. Just so beautifully written and I hope she knew that.

I miss her