ellinout-blog

[snekdood]

The story of what happened to the theif and the cobbler and aladdin is sad, can you imagine someone coming along, looking at your passion project, and instead of leaving it with its rightful owner they go ahead and shit out aladdin as quick as possible and steal ideas from the story and the art style too before the creator even gets a chance to finish his passion project- just a really shitty situation i dont relate to at all.

[beomglocks]

in the morning ; k.th

summary : taehyun tries to keep you safe from the world’s wandering eyes.

pairing : yandere!taehyun x “captive” s/o!reader

warnings & other : angst (?), blood, there’s a dead person, yes the body is described (not in too much detail), enclosed spaces, dehumanization (?), honestly ignore the title i didnt know what to call this

w/c : 1.7k

your bedroom door creaks open allowing a sliver of light to shine onto your bed and down on to your face. you scrunch your face in frustration but merely turn over to face the wall to continue your peaceful slumber.

a finger pokes at your face annoyingly and you swat at it to leave you alone. "my love, wake up," you hear someone whisper.

you groan but make no indications that you'll be listening to the annoying voice in your head. you feel something cold drift across your face and down your neck which makes you shiver. when you bring your hand up to your neck to pull it away, you flinch and sit up quickly.

"ow!" you inspect your hand which now has a large bleeding gash from gripping whatever was on your neck. now that you're semi fully awake, you look up to see taehyun. great, he's back from doing whatever it is he does at this godforsaken time. you wonder if it's a normal day when he's home but no- you know there's a reason why he's in your room right now.

"i wouldn't have gripped that like that if i were you," he snickers playfully. you look down at what he's holding and frown at him. "what...did you put a knife to my neck?" crazy bastard, you knew something would go wrong whenever he was within 10 centimeters of you.

"had to wake up the sleeping beauty somehow," he grins. his face immediately goes stony and he grabs your hand, looking at the aftermath of his actions. it scares you how quickly he could change his expression. sometimes you weren't sure how to act around him because you weren't sure how he would react.

"im sorry though, i'll clean it up right away." he quickly gets up and grabs some alcohol and tissues that are laying around, and rushes back to you.

"so no light today?" you ask quietly while he cleans the wound skillfully. he stays quiet for a moment and you're about to ask him the question again in case he didn't hear you but he soon speaks up.

"n-no not today.. i don't wanna be seen like this. it could scare you," he laughs dryly. he scrubs your hands with more haste now, afraid that you'll take initiative to turn on the lights.

you sigh. how considerate of him however it's not like you haven't seen him with blood splattered across his glass skin before. it wasn't out of the ordinary to see him like this after all. your room only has a tiny window above the bed and you couldn't even look out from it since it was too high. the only light that was available to you was the moonlight. unfortunely it didn't even reach far enough to shine down on taehyun to give you the luck of seeing him.

"when are you going to stop this?" you ask mostly to yourself. "i'll stop when it gets through people's heads that you're mine."

he grips your injured hand as the anger of what he had to witness today comes rushing back to his memories. "t-tae my hand," you wince.

he loosens his grip just a little bit, enough for you to not feel that much pain but obviously, it still hurts. god, you really wish he wasn't here right now.

"why...why did he- it's his fault you know. it's not like i wanted to kill him," he says. you can hear the anxiety in his voice and it makes you want to comfort him a little bit. only a small part of your brain feels bad for his current mental state but that's only because of how kind taehyun was to you way before well- this. somewhere in you, you hope that he will change but you know he's too far gone at this point.

"he had it coming though," taehyun smiles, looking down at your wound. "he should've known not to mess with other people's property." you clench your jaw at his words. it's unfortunate how taehyun doesn't see you as a human anymore, only an object for him to keep enclosed in a glass case, like some china doll.

"you're not entirely innocent y/n," he grits. he grips your hand purposely and you let a tear roll down your face now. "taehyun you're hurting me," you manage to choke out. he pouts mockingly at your plea.

"you hurt me and you hurt that guy i had to kill," he says in a matter of fact tone. "when he said hi you should've just kept your mouth shut but no you just had to make conversation and let him hug you like some-"

he cuts himself off before he can say something that he might have to force himself to apologize for later. you both sit in silence minus your ragged breaths mixed with his heavy ones.

"you killed him," he says simply. "what?" you breathe out. "you killed him y/n! if you had just focused on me like i focus on you then i wouldn't have been forced to kill him like i did."

"taehyun i-"

"go say sorry," he sighs. you look at him bewildered but it only takes you a moment to realize what he means. "taehyun," you sob. you don't want to say that you can't believe he brought a dead body home but the sad fact is that you can believe it. he mustve had no where to hide it once he was done. taehyun is not one to make empty threats. he chuckles, shaking his head, "go say sorry to your friend."

he tries to pull you from the bed but you cling onto the bedsheets, adamant about not moving. "what so now you don't want to give him the time of day? earlier you seemed just so over the damn moon speaking with him!" he shouts.

you shake your head frantically. you want to speak, to reason with him, but nothing comes out your mouth other than choked sobs. "don't be like that, it's for your own good. now let's go," he says.

this time he uses all his force to rip you from your hold on the bed. "my love...im gonna teach you something about respect," taehyun speaks lowly. his monotone voice sends chills throughout your frigid body. you kick and scream and punch his back, hoping that you can shake him enough to let you go but nothing you do phases him.

he walks through the house with you slung over his shoulder for about a minute before stopping in front of the jacket closet. he sets you down as gently as he can in front of it and you stare blankly at it, not ready to face whatever is inside.

"it goes both ways," he finishes. you hesitantly look up at him, finally seeing his face for the first time since earlier today. you flinch when you notice just how much blood is scattered over his face. the kill must've been brutal enough to send that many splatters of blood flying.

"don't look at me, look at him. don't be disrespectful," he says. when you turn back towards the closet you flinch harshly at the sight. the guy whom you spoke to earlier was now slumped over in your closet. you remember how lively he was when speaking to you but now his skin was completely drained of life and pale in color. his lips were dry, probably from trying to heave in air to try to live. you're afraid to further gaze at the body because the further down you go the worse it gets. so much so that it's practically dosed in blood.

"say it, say you're sorry!" he commands. you know that you're not really saying sorry to the dead man in your closet. taehyun wants you to say sorry to him. you know he couldn't care less about this man. he wants you to regret putting him in the position to kill another human being.

"i-im- im-" taehyun sucks teeth impatiently. "if you don't say it naturally i will lock you in here all night. i don't want to do that so you better do it right."

a noise leaves your throat when he shoves you closer to the body. you whine, trying your best to control your voice and tears. "i-" your voice gets weak but you use every bit of force in you to say it. you don't wanna risk having to stay in that closet all night.

"im sorry," you blurt. you hear taehyun chuckle behind you, satisfied for now. "was that so hard?"

"y/n you're mine and only mine. i feel so livid when others so much as look in your direction, do you understand?" he says calmly. you nod, already wanting to be back in your bed, under the covers, away from all of this.

you hear taehyun hum and suddenly you're shoved into the closet. it catches you so off guard that your body slams into the dead one. you yell in panic and scramble as far away from it as possible. "taehyun! w-what's going on?!" you call out.

the closet is so dark when it's closed that you can't even see anything. atleast you know you're not near the body. "y/n- i-i'm doing this because i love you ok?" he says uncertainly. "this way no one can look at you or talk to you and try to seduce you."

you bang on the door, your heart beating with each slam. "p-please let me out," you plead weakly. you already know that once taehyun has done something he doesn't change his mind so it's no use trying to reason. "i-im scared- please."

he stays silent for a moment and you're about to burst into tears again thinking that he's already left but he speaks up after a couple beats of contemplative silence.

"don't be scared ok y/n. you'll be fine. i'm going to come back for you in the morning." he goes silent again and all you can hear is your heavy breathing and wet sniffles. "please don't be too mad at me, i love you," you hear him whisper before you hear his footsteps retreat.

the night is spent without much sleep and your fist pounding at the closet door, hoping for an early release but it never comes.

[cryptidprimalslayer]

Precipice Pt. 1: Rak’Tika

this is Ney’s time in the First so uhh spoilers for essentially the entirety of SHB. 

You know the saying too much of a good thing is a bad thing? this is one of those moments. this is the exact definition of that saying. all this damn white bullshit and blankness. i hate everything. i hate sineaters, i hate doing things against my will. i wanna rip his ears off and feed them to the Lightwardens. he could’ve just brought me but no he had to bring her and him and the other who i swear i dont know how he got here. really i dont like anyone here and i’d like to leave with my unwilling party like yesterday. but things can never be easy and i have to do my worst nightmare; play the hero successfully. the Scions wouldve been a better group then me, more willing. like of all the things that couldve happened to me. whatever, it is what it is. lemme just go find someone then. 

 i couldn’t take one step out of the Crystarium without immediately having ten things on my ass tryna kill me. i outran them and finally arrived in someplace different. it was a forest again swarming with things that wanted to kill me but i dispatched them with medium effort. this Light is really killing my eyes. granted i live in a perpetually overcast environment but beggars can’t be choosers. i was walking along looking but not looking for ay signs of life when i came across an abandoned settlement. it looked burnt down as well. Ah the unwanted memories...... i blinked and suddenly i was surrounded. funny i didn’t even hear them approach. “it’s alone we can take it!” an arrow cut through the air and lodged into my thigh. i heard two different cries as i fell to my knees. one was mine and the other must’ve been these people’s leader cause they all stood down. i heard this one approach this time as i was focused on my new accessory. then they started to speak, well yell was more accurate, at the people.

“who fired that arrow?...... i said WHO FIRED THE ARROW?!” i looked up in time to see everyone flinch then an Miqo’te, or i guess Mystel here, raised their hand slowly. the man walked over to them and then smacked them in the face. that gauntlet probably leaves a nice mark. “I distinctly remember saying let me see what it is when you reported you found something unusual. tell me does that look like a sineater to you?”  he facepalmed then walked up to me helping me to my feet; i had already dislodged the arrow and did my best to close the wound. 

“Lovely group ya got here man. i can tell we’ll get along just fine.” he rolled his eyes and cleaned up my shotty healing job; though his wasn’t entirely perfect either, he’s no white mage.

“C’mon i’ll show you to our camp.” he held my arm as we slowly made our way to their humble home. that hurt more then it should, i feel like lead tryna hold myself upright and walk. he mustve noticed it as well since he stopped and picked me up with an inaudible grumble. there was of course pain in my thigh but it was spreading like fire in my veins. i’m embarrassed to say i blacked out while being carried. How weak this makes me look. i believe i was in and out of consciousness a few times, one was the pace was now running instead of walking, second was being taken into a house and laid on a bed, the last was several people standing over me. i’m unsure how much time was passed after that, with this eternal light and all. i sat up, pushing the handmade blanket off of me and looked around. i saw my rapier propped against the bedframe and a vacant chair at my bedside. how long was i out? “how hard have you been pushing yourself Ney? after we absolved the poison you passed out again and it’s been two days since you first came to these woods.” the voice came from the door so i looked up and saw him. 

“why is this any of your concern hm? i dont recall my mother being a Dark Knight. You shouldn’t have let me sleep that long then if you’re so concerned.” 

He let out a aggravated huff and came over, sitting backwards in the seat and staring at me. “I let you sleep that long because i was that concerned like it or not. You’re pushing yourself to exhaustion then not giving yourself enough rest before doing it all over again. you will keel over eventually Ney, i know you know this.” i dont have my other arm to cross them so i just looked away with a huff of my own. he responded by grabbing my chin and forcing me to look him in the eye. i always did find them an odd shade, never certain if they were entirely silver or slightly yellowish. “You just don’t get it do you? People are going to care about you regardless of your shoving them away.”

“It’s only because i’m-”

He actually stood up and hurled the chair at the wall, pulled me to my feet holding me by my shoulders; giving me a good shake. “FUCK THE TWELVE NEY IM NOT TALKING ABOUT THEM.” i’ve never heard someone get so passionate about someone else’s lifestyle. not even Hien gets this loud when annoyed with my self care methods. “Fuck your crystal of light, fuck the echo fuck everything you think people only care about you for. i’m talking to Ney Tswarri the Viera in front of me, not the primal slayer i hear about every other day.” i’m gonna save you the trouble and just say he yelled at me a lot more about how i need to care about myself and then a few holes in the walls and some broken furniture later he composed himself and gave me some food. i was under the impression he’d force feed me this stew so i ate it slowly. i had to eat until i was full then and only then was i allowed to make small talk with him. “It’s been five years i believe since i first came here. i’ve done what i can for these people but it’s clear a white mage would’ve been more useful.” then become a white mage is that so hard? he talks of the sineaters and a possible Lightwarden nearby according to some rumors. i was sitting during all of this so i stood then promptly fell on my face. 

“Did you really have to remove my leg as well?” i pulled myself into a sitting position and scanned the room for my leg. so you wouldn’t immediately run off and get yourself killed without proper knowledge or preparations, honestly fuck you man; it’s like you want to stay or some shit. 

“it’s also nighttime so back to bed with you.” Fray went over to the thrown chair and collected it, setting it by my bed to sit guard. Guess there’s always wait for him to fall asleep and look for the leg later. i pulled myself into bed and rolled towards the wall so he couldn’t see if i was asleep or not. “And actually sleep Ney......please.” but im not tired i literally just woke from a two day slumber. 

They don’t know the reason i dont sleep much or at all is i cant let the nightmares find me cause then there’s no chance of sleeping again. they just so happened to find me this night and i woke in a cold sweat convinced the house was on fire, tumbling outta bed. “Hey whoa there. it was a nightmare you’re fine now. see look nothing’s different then it was. you’re fine. i’m fine. there’s no fire.” so i talked in my sleep did I? we stayed seated on the floor, the blanket tangled still around my legs while i tried to calm myself back down. “i know you don’t want to but i need you to try and sleep again. it’s the middle of the night.” 

when i woke next, i can only assume it’s morning, i found we were still on the ground but we had shifted to leaning against the bed. i had been resting on a pillow placed in his lap with a blanket over me, as well as his arm resting at my chest. i guess i’m staying then, enjoy the quiet hours. 

[totheendofthelinepal]

CONSTELLATIONS (PART THREE)

Summary: Being stuck in space with ARES was not your plan, especially when a certain someone finds out you haven’t been intimate with anyone in your life.

Notes: Virgin Reader x Chris Beck, swearing, NSFW (18+)

You had lost count of the days.

That never happened.

But now it did.

Beck was much more distracting once you got a taste of what its like - what he was like. It made you feel like you were in high school, but god it was so worth it. He knew what he was doing, that was certain. In all the days you were up here, you never thought you’d need him more than other little things on earth. Each time you closed your eyes now you could feel it - you could feel him. It came in flashes of memories. His lips, gentle; soft. His hands slender and warm. His chest, his hair. God you loved it all. Especially below his waistline. That was something you never thought you’d want as badly as you did with him. It almost made your cheeks heated with blushing embarrassment. The kicker of it all was that he knew, and the more interesting realization was he wanted it just as much as you did. Personally, you didn’t feel like you were some kind of expert or whatever you call it. But whenever the two of you had a moment alone - away from the cameras..His hands never left you.

Tonight was no different.

You heard a soft knock to your quarters, and you smiled lightly, already knowing exactly who it was. You opened the door, seeing the familiar grin - the grin that told you why he was here exactly.

“Dr. Beck.” You smirked lightly, opening the door, looking quickly to see if you were insight of other crew members.

“They’re in bed.” Chris sighed, reaching out to touch your arms.

“You really should stop doing this.” You tried your best not to smile.

Chris only hummed, mocking to nod his head in agreement, “You’re totally right.”

You watched him in that moment, laughing lightly as his hands met the ties of your shorts.

“I really-“ He sighed, pulling the string slowly, “Really shouldn’t.”

“Beck-“

“Its Dr. to you young lady.” He grinned widely, his hand tracing your waistline.

“Really? You’re going there?” You chuckled lowly at his attempt at a small role-play.

“Oh I’m sorry, where would you like me to go?” He whispered, his hand slowly reaching to your core.

You gasped out, your body backing to the wall from his touch. You fluttered your eyes, feeling his warm hands rub circles to your sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Holy shit.” You choked out, gripping his arm for some kind of leverage.

“Does that feel good?” He knitted his brow, mocking confusion.

“You know it does.” You breathed out, your nails digging to his bicep.

“You know- I wish I could hear that pretty mouth of yours” Chris ghosted his lips over yours, continuing his actions, “But you need to keep quiet.”

You nodded slowly, your legs now giving out at his actions. You clutched again, his fingers now pushing slowly in and out. You bit your lip hard, slamming your head to the back of the wall.

“God, you’re soaked, sweetheart.” Chris gruffed, “Can I..?”

You opened your eyes, as he slowly got to his knees. You took a deep breath, knowing what he was signaling at. He traced circles to your hips now - making sure you knew he was okay with whatever you answer to his request was. Your eyes looked to his - and that was all you needed. You nodded slowly, causing Chris to smile up to you. His fingers hooked the waistband, pulling it slowly to the spacecraft floor. You gasped lightly, the cold air hitting your now exposed core. Chris hummed softly, hooking your leg over his shoulder in one motion. His hand reached to yours, guiding it to the softness of his hair. You gripped lightly, wondering what this was going to feel like. It didnt take long for him, and you nearly lost it to the contact. His lips pressed softly to your core, and you threw your head back once again to the new sensation of him. You could hear what he was doing softly, his lips and tongue working softly and expertly against you. You couldn’t help but pant lightly, as he had full control of your body in this moment.

“Jesus Chris” You moaned out, your grip tightening to his hair.

He only hummed once again, as he now bit softly to the bundle of nerves. You felt the now familiar tightening a the pit of your stomach, and your sounds began to erupt now. You couldn’t have control over anything, his lips and tongue determining your every movement, every sound. You could hear your pants now turning into a small chant of his name, and just as you were nearing your finish - he pulled away. He looked up to you, and you never thought the sight of him licking his lips would make you weak - but it sure as hell did. His hand reached to your neck, pulling you down lightly to kiss him. His lips were gentle as always, and you could taste what he was doing just moments ago travel across your lips. He groaned out again, now standing to his feet, he never broke away from you. You let your body speak what you wanted to do, as you palmed lightly at the front of his sweatpants. You grinned to his mouth when you felt the vibration of a low whimper. You pulled the waistband lightly, your hand snaking past the material to get a feel for him. He panted out just like you did moments ago, and he finally pulled away. It was quick as he removed the t shirt he was wearing. You followed, removing your shirt and bra. You finally felt comfortable with him enough to expose yourself entirely. You felt your cheeks redden as his eyes instantly fell to your chest in a boyish grin.

“You’re amazing.” He gruffed out, pulling down the waistband of his sweats.

He bit his lip lightly, turning your back to him.

“Whoa whoa whoa.” You mumbled out, wondering just what he thought he’d be doing, “I hope this isn’t you asking to enter the backdoor.

Chris snickered behind you, pushing you forward to the bed, “No, I’m not.”

He placed you to the small bed, placing your hands on the small blanket before you.

“This is going to feel good, I promise.” He laughed lightly behind you, gripping the sides of you hips.

You nodded, silently giving him permission to whatever he was getting at. He motioned to the pillow, and you knitted your brow in confusion. You looked up to him, and you watched as he gripped his t shirt in his mouth. You blinked wildly, wondering what the hell he was getting to.

He removed the shirt for just a moment, “To keep ourselves quiet. Use the pillow.”

You chuckled lowly, bringing the pillow to your face. You felt him position behind you, his legs swinging fully onto the bed behind you. You waited a moment, and you finally felt what you’d been needing. He pushed in slowly, and now understood why he was doing this. The angle was much different than all the times before, and you could feel the difference in depth. You gasped out, hearing a muffled groan behind you. You gripped the pillow, as his hips began to snap lightly into you. Your back arched, the new sensation nearly making you tumble over the edge. You could hear him behind you, and you knew that he definitely felt it too. Soft pants echoed in tandem between the two of, and his pace began to quicken. You gripped the sheets, his thrusts now beginning to alternate. Finally, you felt your finish rising in you, making you tumble over in soft shivers. Chris followed, his hands placing flat to your back for more leverage. His moans were still muffled, and you could hear the breathing rising with each movement. He finally stilled, his torso growing closer to your back as he rode out the finish in his body. He dropped to you, and his hands leveled on each side of your body. You laughed softly, feeling his weight above you in that moment.

“Jesus.” Chris panted out, the shirt falling to the floor.

“That felt amazing.” You sighed, your body beginning to relax.

“It’s only the start of trying new things, babe.” Chris laughed softly, his lips pressing to your shoulder.

The crew had no idea - and if they did you knew that you would have broken countless rules at this point. Having sexual relations was not something that was allowed aboard EVA space mission. You knew you should’ve stopped it before even thinking about it - but now that you knew Chris intimately, you just couldn’t. It wasn’t purely physical anymore, you knew that in the past months the two of you had grown to bond with each other. Whether that be over talks about your mother, or playing cards. Now you just appreciated it so much more. You sat across from him now, as he shuffled the deck - he gave you a knowing smirk. You kicked him lightly, telling him silently that the crew was around you in this moment.

“God, just think. 50 more days and we’re home.” Vogel commented, walking past the two of you.

“I know I can’t wait.” You sighed, grabbing your hand of cards.

“What’s the first thing you’re going to do when we get back?” Johanssen called out to you behind a computer.

“I dont know, probably see my mother.” You smiled softly, knowing how much she mustve missed you.

“What about you Beck?” Vogel motioned to Chris, and he smirked once again.

“I think I might grab me a date.” He bit back a grin, placing a card to the table.

“That so? With who?”” Vogel chuckled lowly.

“Girl I met at school. Months ago.” Chris grinned once again, and you almost kicked him again.

“Does she know about this?” Johanssen joined the laughter.

“I think so. At least I hope she does.” Chris sighed, his eyes flickering to you in just a quick motion.

“Have you known her a long time?” Vogel smiled to Beck, leaning back to his chair.

“I have actually, we met at Yale. She’s great in bed too.” Chris grinned proudly.

This time you did kick him. He flinched lightly, only to smirk for the third damn time.

“Too much information.” Johanssen laughed softly.

“Looks like Beck is getting lucky when he gets home.” Vogel chuckled.

“God I hope so.” Chris sighed, his eyes looking to you again.

“I think you’ve got a good chance, buddy.” You smirked now, hoping he would pick up on your suggestion.

He only grinned to you, his leg now moving yours in a slow motion.

If only Vogel and Johanssen knew what was going on underneath that table.

[rqs902]

.

IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS 

ITS MY BOY ENYU!!!! ON THE FRONT PAGE???? okay also a big deal for zhaohao and li hao too!!!

ok now into part 2 of the ep

interesting that they focused on junhao for everybody. can understand he probably has the most different and struggle experience so probably more interesting for dramas sake lol im surprised they dont spend more time on shengen, considering his popularity. 

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA JUNHAO FREAKING OUT over the fact that they only learned the dance for 40 mins. LOL thats the level of tyger + kou cong + shengen, i can imagine the struggle of the yang guang nan hai group in comparison AHAHA i just imagine him running down the hall freaking out like HOW DID THEY LEARN THE DANCE IN JUST ONE CLASS WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE 

lollll “theyre all dachang boys” “theyre all zhang yixing’s students” HAHAHAH you know even though he is slightly struggling compared to the rest, he aint bad and theyre all taking it light hearted with laughter so seems like a good learning environment! and he’s confident he’ll get it LOL thats good! i think thats what makes him so amusing 

HAHAHA i love how lin mo just keeps giggling at junhao like he genuinely just finds him so amusing LOL yay for making new friends 

awww bc junhao’s always been a leader i feel like for him to finally feel like hes being taken care of is so nice. i have absolute confidence that this group will treat him kindly. AW HE CALLED HIM MOMO 

im still disappointed they have YET to show zhan yu’s funny/strange personality and this wouldve been a great opportunity bc hes surrounded by friends he’s comfortable with!! like his friendship with kou cong! or akey and lin mo! but sigh...

THEY PUT ZHAN YU IN THE FRONT FOR THE SEXUAL LINE HAHAHHA PERFECT BUT I SEE LIN MO BEING ONE OF THE ONLY ONES NOT SHOWING HIS ABS HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA

wow the lyrics are so fitting for lin mo to scream LOL but also ay his vocals?! aw im glad they put in a little rap for shengen and akey! honestly was kinda hoping for more bc they havent had a proper stage together before and i feel like itd be awesome but also junhao and zhan yu vocalization at the end was on point!!

lol all the kids being like zhang pd’s words are so detailed and professional... sigh theyve been missing out until now 

im glad they really pointed out how each member of this team did well! they really all did a great job with each of their parts, and they each got a little part to shine, and when put together, it was a complete performance. im proud of them and happy for them!

aw.... i feel like we’ve been waiting so long to hear lin mo get complimented.... i feel like it’s been since qcyn namanana that we’ve been waiting for him to redeem himself and climb back up to the peak. ugh its been nearly a year and a half. im just so terrified of whats gonna happen next bc im way too skeptical at this point to expect this high to continue, esp with what happened after namanana last time......... but for now, im happy. relieved hes finally getting the recognition he deserves and im happy that hes happy. lol i was also half scared we were gonna get spirit of the knight-ed again with his pink hair (nightmare flashbacks to lin mo and changxi’s deletion from that perf) i dont think ill ever get over that :( i feel like as a lin mo stan, ive been trained to not keep my hopes up and to prepare for the worst bc hes the type of person who just always gets the short end of the stick, it feels like. 

aw the part when they go back to the waiting room and jin fan is waiting for them with an encouraging smile and the whole exchange of "帥的真的帥的" "哇~可以吧" "我沒想到" "那必須的" our leader did them proud :’) 

ugh the part where luo jie calls them and tells them he can’t come back........ heart breaking. i can see why lin ran and xikan would be really affected. lin ran has been luo jie’s go-to since he left and knowing how their usual friendship involves making fun of one another and jokingly complaining about each other, it hits hard when lin ran says he cried his eyes out. it hurts that they didnt get to share the stage again before he left. xikan may not have shared the stage with luo jie during ip, but hes known him since then and has been with him through both rounds here. it interesting bc i feel like the namanana perf was very light hearted on qcyn but i cant see that happening here, esp with their outfits? 

aw shiwei and chaowen taking charge to raise their spirits :’) 

lin ran’s voice fits so well with this song wow! i really like his lines! also lol i didnt know xikan would have abs but okay and tbh im always hesitant about dances with props bc it always is so easy to look messy..... like every slight difference in angle in the way you hold your arms is immediately magnified 

and like sxl’s fan is obviously broken and having performed fan dances myself i know that that’s like the most annoying thing to happen on stage, and can be really difficult to deal with, even tho it happens ALL THE TIME with those types of fans ugh :( 

i mean its super kind of them to leave luo jie’s space empty for him, but its kinda weird to have parts of the audio missing sadly :( and also chaowen’s voice did something weird in the middle there, like its sounds weirdly weak 

wait didnt yixing tell them to close the fan? but they didnt? 

xikan’s facial expressions are perfecttt, good for him! wish they gave more screen time to shiwei during shiwei’s lines lol... but also i cant help but hear lin mo’s voice during that part LOL ugh speaking of which i miss that team dynamic namanana team a on qcyn HAHAHAH hwx being a brat and fjj running around wild and lin mo giving up on them all just laughing like idiots for hours on end while bo yuan just judges them from a corner LOL i love the beginning of the wenxuan and lin mo friendship good times :’)  

HAHAH ENYU AGAIN WITH THE REALEST COMMENTS - i agree AHHAHAH i love these kids too but there was something off about this stage 

im surprised but also not surprised by what the judges are saying 

o didnt realize sxl was supposed to be center but i guess that explains the big puffy thing on his shoulder lol.......... agree with cx tho, even without his broken fan, i think the fans made them look worse bc it just looked messy 

well idk if we’re getting all the stages today but at least jin fan’s is also getting aired! TYGER HUG FOR JIN FAN YESS

jin fan teaching them dance? yes thank you for showing us he is a good dancer. oof jin fan’s just too nice :( hes trying to avoid conflict too much that it caused conflict smh......... lol oscar trying to talk to su er hes having such struggle i feel that bro LOL hes doing really well though, tbh being relatively young, hes really trying his best and is being reasonable. 

LOL HE CALLED HIM JIN FAN GE i forgot jin fan is considered old lol..... jin fan really taking the higher road here and im glad they sat together and talked it out a bit

THE JIN FAN VOICE YESSSS hahahhaha kou cong holding the tyger sign!!

oo is that some of his bel canto-style singing coming through LOL 

AY NICE for hong weihao and oscar to put in some rap 

some of those high notes were a bit questionable at the end but okay jin fan is really claiming that vocal + dance teacher role i see.... interesting 

but agree with yixing that he doesnt need to force himself to do high notes bc his voice is so nice regardless!! yay for oscar getting recognition! im still waiting for jin fan to do a cool dance performance sigh

wasnt expecting an enyu feature BUT ILL TAKE IT 

oof huang enyu saying hes really trying to put himself out there by going for leader and the realest comment that he hasnt considered getting to debut he just wants to pass this round oof and he feels like his opportunities may be cut short bc hes getting old oof

enyu and chenxu crying watching the movie 

AW THEIR HAHA VIDEOS ARE THE CUTEST THING I LOVE THESE KIDSSS so sad that so many of them are at risk of elimination :(  im glad these vocals made their own friend group! I hope itll be a memory they carry forward. they do all have shared experiences as vocals on this show. 

this reaction to junrong’s voice

same tho :’) but actually all of their voices are so so nice like actually these 5 are all people whose voices ive really listened for on this show, but wow renyu’s voice in particular like really ugh just sounds so pure 

also enyu looks really nice in this performance but thats a side note okay moving on

i mean literally these reactions

and li hao crying while singing and so many kids in the waiting room crying while watching OOF this perf has got me emotional 

HAHAHHAHA THEIR INTROS HAHAHHA

UGH ENYU his plea just.... the way he yelled it bc it mustve taken courage and it mustve been a frustration on his mind for a while now and bc maybe he wouldve broken down if he hadnt yelled it out but im really crying now.... and its so out of character for him that you know he really really is feeling desperate and feels the need to speak out

lol wait gjm posted on weibo about him? is that why hes getting more attention lol..........

i really hope the vocals win :( 

no tygers in the next ep preview? hmmMMMMMmm okay 

well also interesting that they put the other 4 perfs with the elims...... seems sketch but at least most of my kids got to go this week ahhhhhh i feel bad for the other groups already. esp the ones with the kids who arent as popular... 

[captaintoomanybattles]

More Than I Say I Do

It was never exactly night on the Milano, just as it was never really day—when you’re not orbiting a sun, the view out the window remains more or less the same, starlight and darkness and the occasional planet whirling by, glowing bright like some phosphorescent sea creature. That said, the Guardians had agreed on a schedule of ten-hour “days” and ten-hour “nights”, just to keep things consistent. Sleep deprivation, as Quill pointed out, was a bitch.

It was, therefore, as much night as it ever was, which meant that Rocket was the only one awake, curled up next to the window of the observation deck. The Ravagers’ fireworks had long been left behind, but he could still see them in his mind’s eye, blooming pink and gold and blue against the vastness of space.

Some funeral, he thought. Then, wistfully, Don’t think anybody’d do that for me.

Yondu had somehow understood how he felt. Yondu had given up his life to save Quill. Yondu had been given a Ravager funeral. But—but—

Quill never even knew Yondu cared about him. The way he told it, that whole crew was one step away from—from eatin’ him, or tossin’ him overboard, or whatever.

It bothered him, gnawed at him for some reason he couldn’t quite define—the idea that Yondu had cared, and never shown it. That Quill had grown up thinking himself unloved, unwanted—that he’d only gotten the affirmation he craved when it was already too late.

He himself had never known a parent—had known nothing but cold steel and cruelty before he met Groot. But still, somehow, he’d gotten this notion…

A kid should always know he’s loved. Always.

Gamora had had parents—real parents, not that Thanos dickwad—way back when, and Quill had had his mom, and Drax had had his own daughter, whom he’d loved and been proud of. And Groot—the first Groot, the old Groot—had once lived with others of his kind, a whole grove who had taught him to be patient and kind and loving, in ways that Rocket had never learned. Had never seen the point of learning.

The world had always seemed such a cruel place, everything and everyone in it struggling to survive at the expense of everyone else. With his size, he looked like an easy target. The best way to survive was not to give anyone the benefit of the doubt—to hurt them before they could hurt him.

Get the first punch in, go down swingin’.

For a long time, Groot was the only person he could let past that barrier of fear and insecurity. Now…

They hadn’t turned him away. Even after his harsh words and the stunt with the batteries, the other Guardians had stuck with him when it mattered, had his back, trusted him to have theirs. And if he wanted to keep this, keep them…

I’ve gotta do better. I can’t keep on the way I was.

The stars glimmered before him, cold and implacable, and he rested his head against the cool plastic.

Kids oughta know they’re loved.

He thought of Groot, tucked into his little nest of earth and moss for the night. He’d come so close to losing him, the past few days. Groot seemed alright now, but he must’ve been scared out of his mind when they got captured—and Rocket had had to force him into even greater danger. There hadn’t been a choice, but even Rocket knew that was no job for a child. And that was what Groot was—a child.

Poor little twig. He deserves better than me.

Soft footsteps sounded behind him, and he turned his head to see Gamora, warrior-quiet as she made her way up to the observation deck.

“I thought you might be here,” she said, settling down next to Rocket.

“Perks of being an insomniac.”

“Yeah.” She was silent for a long moment, watching the stars swirl by. “You okay?”

Rocket shrugged. “Been better.”

“Yeah, me too.”

He hesitated, fidgeting with the knee-patch on his jumpsuit, before finally saying, “I’m, uh. I’m glad you didn’t… die.”

It was an apology, of sorts—as much of one as he could make just now. From the expression on her face, he thought she understood what he meant.

“I’m glad you didn’t, either.” She drew her knees up to her chin, tilting her head a little so she could still look at him. “We all care about you, you know. I know it’s hard for you to believe, but we do.”

Rocket shifted uncomfortably; her tone was far too understanding for his liking. “How do you do it?” he asked, rather than responding. “How do you—all the shit that happened to you, but you’re still kind.”

“You think I’m kind?” Her tone betrayed both surprise and pleasure.

“I mean… yeah.”

“Well—thank you.” She paused, then said slowly, “For a long time, I was just trying to stay alive. And that meant being—violent. Angry. Ruthless. I couldn’t afford to show any weakness. But now—Thanos tried to destroy me, own me from the inside out. He tried to turn me into something as hateful as him. So—every time I let myself be vulnerable, every time I let myself love—it’s a victory, it’s proving I’m free from him. And it’s—it’s scary, but… I don’t know. I think it’s worth it.”

You play like the meanest, but actually you’re the most scared of all.

“I don’t want to be like Yondu,” Rocket whispered. “I don’t want Groot to end up like Quill. I don’t want him to be so desperate for a father he takes up with the first abusive asshole that pays a lick of attention to him. I don’t—I want to be better, but I don’t know how.”

Gamora nodded. “I don’t know how to do any of this, either,” she said quietly. “I’m scared if I get to close to anyone, I’ll get hurt. I’m scared of being used again. I’m scared I’ll never make things right with Nebula.”

“You’re good with Groot, though,” Rocket offered. “He really—you’re good with him.”

“So are you.”

“Nah. Not really. But I’m gonna,” he said, with sudden determination. “I’m gonna be the best frickin’ dad in the whole damn galaxy.”

Gamora smiled, and patted his shoulder. “I know you will.”

They sat together for a long time, Gamora absently petting Rocket’s thick fur. It was a liberty he rarely allowed any of the Guardians, and he’d deny it with his last breath if Quill ever said anything, but there was something terribly comforting about that soft touch. It grounded him, and he thought maybe it was something Gamora needed, too; confirmation that they’d survived, that they were finally safe.

When, eventually, Gamora returned to her own sleeping quarters, Rocket headed back to the little room he shared with Groot. As he slipped inside, Groot moved, big eyes opening and reflecting the dim light from the hall.

“I am Groot?” he asked, voice hazy with sleep.

“Yeah, it’s okay, buddy, I’m here.” Rocket knelt down beside his nest of moss and leaves, brushing a paw over the little wooden head. “I’ve got you.”

“I am Groot.”

“No, it’s nighttime now, buddy. Go back to sleep.” He hesitated, found his throat constricting with the old familiar fear—fear of saying too much, of letting any weakness show. Fear of being rejected. He swallowed it down.

“I love you, Groot.”

“I am Groot.”

“Y-you do?”

“I am Groot!”

Rocket smiled, warmth blooming in his chest like a sun exploding into existence. “Thanks, buddy. Go to sleep now, okay? I’ll be here.”

Groot made a little grumbling sound and settled down, eyes already drooping closed. Rocket curled up beside him, pulling his blankets up to his chin.

Maybe, he thought. Maybe I can do this after all.

 *Title from “More Than I Say I Do” by Chris and Jocelyn Arndt