#they were still talking about perfume btw. so it was awkward lol

[saturniidd]

a bad habit I have is that someone will mention a subject in conversation and that subject will spark a whole train of thoughts in my head. unfortunately, nobody knows that I had an ornate train of thought in my head and they just think I blurted out something unrelated

[hellreads]

what are some of the most filthiest fics you've ever read?

this is the HARDEST ASK I have received so far, I spaced out after seeing this ask trying to recall every single filthy fic I ever read because there’s a lot but I will only be adding three fics per member for this ask, now, what I consider filthy may not be your cup of tea or may seem vanilla to y’all but to each their own, btw filthy to me includes threesomes to gangbangs because we’re weak for double penetration in this house, a lot of cum play and sloppy seconds, dirty talk, degradation, and more ~ by more I mean feelings, I need to feel something before drowning me in good explicit smut but I like pwps too lol, anyway, enough of my ramblings let’s get to the list! | 🍒

NOTE: please check all tags and warnings before reading a fic, read any of these at your own risk!

TOP PICKS

❥ The Hills by @minflix➴ Ski-Trip/Vacation!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Hoseok | Series➴ A ski trip with old friends sounds like a fun time, right?when your ex-boyfriend (who you hate but somehow always end up in bed with) and your stepbrother (who you are harboring not-so-secret feelings for) tag along at the last minute, you have a feeling it won’t be an uneventful weekend.but fun? debatable. that remains to be seen.

❥ Pour Up by jungxkook (deactivated/story no longer here on tumblr)➴ Fuckboy/Fratboy!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ You like to pretend you hate Jungkook and Taehyung but sleeping with both of them doesn’t sound so terrible especially when you’re drunk and faded.

❥ Extreme Obsession by saylilirose➴ Psychological/Yandere!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ In life, you meet one person that you live and grow old with. 

You? You meet seven. 

But your love? Non-existent. 

But theirs? Real…and obsessive.

Which turns deadly and dangerous. 

Without hesitation.➴ NOTE: this story contains heavy/dark/taboo themes and this isn’t for everyone, make sure you read all tags and warnings before starting this fic, you’ve been warned.

Kim Namjoon

❥ Miss Communication by @dovechim➴ Poly!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Poly relationships can be complicated. especially one where there’s an established hierarchy, and someone decides to break the rules. in a series of miscommunications between your boyfriends, you find yourself being the conveyor of peace and something else that isn’t quite what you expected. 

❥ Tigerboy by @joonbird➴ Hybrid!AU | Namjoon x Reader | One-Shot➴ “You, a docile rabbit hybrid, have been waiting a long time to meet the mysterious tiger hybrid, Kim Namjoon.”

❥ Criminal by @teawithkpop➴ Criminal/Police!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Yoongi x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Namjoon is a wanted criminal, and he decides he wants you to be his ‘last meal’ before he’s booked.

Kim Seokjin

❥ The Devil Wears Armani by @floralseokjin➴ Devil!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series➴ You never imagined accidentally attempting to sell your soul to the devil would lead to this…

❥ Off-Limits by @floralseokjin➴ Brother’s Bestfriend!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series➴ You’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…

❥ In The Bleak Midwinter by @pcyheartgirlx➴ Idol/Escort!AU | Seokjin x Reader x Chanyeol | Series➴ We’re all whores, we just sell different parts of ourselves.

You own a multi-billion dollar company, servicing the biggest names in kpop, in more ways than one. Under the name “Starlight Catering”, you, your best friends, Damon and Maya, and your hundreds of workers provide stress relief for idols.

You have partially retired, not because you didn’t want to, but because Chanyeol was your muse. He was all that you had time for and all you needed. Until Jin came along.

So what happens when you mix fire and ice?

You get smoke and all the lines are blurred.

Min Yoongi (hardest list to make, I have a lot of good Yoongi filth T_T)

❥ Zelus by bumblexfox➴ Sugar Daddy/Lovers!AU | Yoongi x Reader | One-Shot➴ Yoongi becomes jealous when your close friend Jungkook puts his hands all over you right infront of his face. So, Yoongi decides to make sure you know who you really belong to.

❥ Dead Leaves by wrienne➴ Detective!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Jimin | Series➴ In which you (reader) are a homicide detective about to face the biggest hurdle both of your career and life.

Married to probably the kindest but most boring man you’ve ever met and living in a town where nothing ever seems to happen means life for you is dull. Dull enough to drive you crazy with boredom and dissatisfaction. However, life changes abruptly when your old boss retires and a new man takes his place - a man you used to love (and sleep very regularly with) more than a decade ago. Especially when your husband comes home smelling of perfume, you’re unable to resist your more carnal urges and dead women start showing up across the city with unnerving frequency.

❥ Hyung, Open the Door by @gotmetalkinginmysleep➴ Idol!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Taehyung x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ You’ve been keeping the boys awake with your moaning for months thanks to Yoongi. Tae and Jungkook want to find out why.

Jung Hoseok 

❥ Flight 18 by @noona-la-la-la➴ Idol!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot➴ Korean Air Flight 18 leaves daily from Los Angeles traveling to Seoul. You’ve taken this flight before, but this time you’ve got an irritating passenger in the neighboring seat. Little did you know that he would end up giving you the ride of your life.

❥ See Both Sides Like Chanel by @minflix➴ Rich Kids/FWB!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Hoseok | One-Shot➴ You, Namjoon, and Hoseok are inseparable. Three best friends that grew up together since you were all in diapers.

But lately, Namjoon has been drifting away…

So on his birthday, you and Hoseok remind him just how inseparable the three of you really are.

⤷ or alternatively: a little less twenty-one candles, a little more “touch me”

❥ Langour by @littlemisskookie➴ Step-Siblings!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot➴ Hoseok’s got a lust-driven thirst for his step sister.

Park Jimin

❥ Sharing is Caring by @littlemisskookie➴ Prostitution!AU | Seokjin x Reader x Jimin | One-Shot➴ Jin graciously decides to loan you to handsome Park Jimin for the night.

❥ Power Play by @dovechim➴ Pornstar!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ You know him as the A-lister of all porn stars; a man who sits pretty in his place at the top of the food chain. But you also know him as the Park Jimin who single-handedly humiliated you and ruined your own career as a rookie just starting out, the epitome of the biggest dick in the entire industry… and you’re not talking about his assets. But when Park Jimin comes to you, saying he’s in a slump that only you can get him out of and begs you to sign an exclusive contract with him; things get messy… in more ways than one.

❥ Neighbors by @jkeuphoriadreamland➴ Neighbors!AU | Jimin x Reader | Series➴ Finally achieving your successes in life you never expected the distraction that came with your new hot neighbor. He, however, had been trying to get your attention for a much different reason.

Kim Taehyung & Jeon Jungkook (because majority of my fave filth includes these two ~ I am breaking the 3 fics list for them because I can dsjkhfkjasdhf)

❥ Clandestine by @ditzymax➴ Assassin!AU | Taehyung x Named OC x Jungkook | Series➴  As a professional assassin, Kim Kinsoo has many shrouded secrets in her life. Some of them she shares openly with her loving boyfriend, but there are other things he must never know.

❥ Shameless by @imaginethisbts➴ Voyeurism/Exhibitionism!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Taehyung’s the new guy in town, just trying to make some friends. And when Jungkook invites him to a party, he thinks he’s finally gotten a good opportunity to meet some new people. But what he doesn’t expect is witnessing his new friend Jungkook and his girlfriend, you, getting it on in front of him, and all of the other guys, at this so-called party. 

❥ When You Least Expect It by @johobi➴ F2L/Lovers!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ You’re in love with your childhood friend, Taehyung. The problem is, you treasure your friendship with him far too much to ever risk losing it. Oh, and he’s quite the Casanova. At your wits’ end with feelings you can no longer hide as diligently as you once did, you ask him to set you up with someone, anyone, in a last-ditch attempt to avoid a heartbreaking conversation.

❥ Stealing the Bite by @wildernessuntothemselves➴ Supernatural!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ In a world populated by the supernatural, witches were the most despised and mistrusted of creatures. Everyone desired to make use of their powers but no one was willing to be seen openly conferring with them. And so there came to pass a heinous practice: Small covens of witches were isolated and kept under wraps in every kingdom, to be utilized when needed, and kept under close watch to prevent them from rebelling. 

Growing up in a kingdom ruled by werewolves, abuse and scorn were a fact of life, but you were determined to put an end to it. You devised a devious plan to gain power, and it involved a certain prince.

❥ The Doms Next Door by @tatertotthethot➴ Poly/Tattoo!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ In which you unknowingly accept the offer to become a tattoo model for the two, sexually-crazed men next door.

❥ Maid for You by @forgottenpasta➴ Idol!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ As Bangtan’s dorm maid you’re expected to be professional, your identity anonymous. Until Jeongguk finds you on your knees beside his bed, with his rolex in your hand.

❥ Into Temptation by coconutty➴ Demon!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ It was just a dare…

❥ Lust and Errors by @imaginethisbts➴ Step-Siblings!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Stepbrother, fuck buddy… They were one and the same now. But what started out as some mindless fucking game, quickly turns into something much more difficult and complex.

❥ What’s Mine is Mine by @avveh➴ Idol!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot ➴ You caught his eye from day one. As far as Jungkook was concerned, you were always meant to be his.

❥ This Isn’t Love Darling by @junqkook➴ Mafia/Escort!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot➴ He tasted of an empty night and an eclipsing moon, with blood on his hands and fire in his eyes when he put his mouth on yours.

❥ Illicit Photography by @jkeuphoriadreamland➴ University/Photography!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ You’re a well respected university professor who assigns a portfolio project to your photography students, but your best student, Jungkook, doesn’t follow the rules very well.

❥ My Way by @ellieljade➴ Fuckbuddy!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Jungkook doesn’t appreciate your boyfriend’s insistence that he stop sleeping with you and he knows just how to prove that you like it his way.

OT7

❥ Moth to Flame by @bang-to-the-tan➴ Vampire!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ Robbed of your memories and intended as a birthday present for a deadly creature of the night, you unwittingly become the center of a territorial dispute between two covens of vampires. Tensions are rising and the brothers are getting hungry.

❥ Void by @btssavedmylifeblr➴ Space!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ You are the only female crew member on a 12-year space mission with seven handsome men. The sexual tension is real, y’all.

❥ Temptation Series by @yminie➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ Sleeping Temptation : Yoongi and Jimin come home to find you asleep on the couch. To say they were happy they beat the other members back would be an understatement.

➴ Waking Temptation : Hoseok, Taehyung and Namjoon are home, and you’re not asleep anymore.

➴ Sweeter Temptation : After an eventful evening, it’s the morning after and Jin’s there to take care of you.

➴ Breaking Temptation : Jungkook ditches movie night for other activities, and you’re not impressed.

❥ Seven Deadly Sins by @mintedmango➴ Demon!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ You stood suddenly, chair being pushed away by the backs of your legs, the rest of the sins standing with you as you looked around in panic. All except Sloth who was out cold in the corner.“Oh, little pet, indeed, I am still hungry.”

❥ Physcom by @teawithkpop➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ AU where live-in Physical Companions are provided to k-pop groups so the members can relieve their sexual related stress and tension - around their busy schedules, of course. You are one such “PhysCom”. However, complications arise when the BTS members start harboring romantic feelings for you. Feelings you’re not sure you can reject with any believable amount of conviction. Such a scandal could result in getting both you and them fired and exposed, ruining any future career options for all parties involved… it turns out the “com” in PhysCom might as well stand for complications.

❥ Cum by @honeymoonjin➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Two-Shot➴ An episode of Run! BTS in which the seven members compete to see who can make you cum first.

❥ The Gentlemen’s Club by @brookelegend➴ Club!AU | OT7 x Reader (Hobi-Centric) | Series➴ You’ve been in a dating drought, more specifically, a sex drought. Your best friend has the perfect remedy for your problem: The Gentlemen’s Club.

[teacherimagines]

Birthday Wishes

LONG TIME NO SEE EVERYONE! I hope you are all doing fantastic!!

@radapple420 said

Ayeo! My birthday is tommorow and id love a male tc x female student birthday imagine??? ID NUT BC UR WRITING IS WHY IM STILL BREATHING

Happy (very) belated birthday, I hope you enjoy!!

Masterlist

Btw I am writing imagines as if we weren’t in quarantine lol.

——————

You woke up to the blaring sound of your alarm. Usually, you would roll your eyes and press snooze, but today was your brithday, so you sprung out of bed. You put on your favorite outfit, ate your favorite breakfast, and headed off to school. On your way to your first class of the day, your friends gave you their birthday wishes. It felt nice and all, but you were most excited to see T/C/N today.

Things between you two have been a little awkward lately, which is likely due to the fact that your crush on him is blatantly obvious. However, he also behaves strangely in your presence, exchanging multiple side glances that leave you with enraged butterflies. When it was finally time for your class with T/C/N, you felt all of this built up anticipation. This is because you have a plan for today: you are going to make a pass at T/C/N, and since it is your brithday, you have some leverage. You sprayed your favorite perfume and spread some lip gloss (cute, but not too bold) across your lips.

T/C/N gave you a warm ‘happy birthday’ at the start of class, and everything else went on as usual. Well, except for one thing. There were many more of those casual side glances you always see from him. You pushed through the class, even though you felt queasy in your legs and bubbly in your head. It made you smile like an idiot, and surprisingly no other students seemed curious about it. It’s probably because most of them spend the majority of the class making tiktoks. You liked this unspoken thing you have going on with him, or rather what you think is going on with him.

When the bell rang, you took your precious time packing up your things as students rushed out of the classroom. T/C/N stood there awkwardly yet attractively in front of his desk, his hands on his hips. When all students left, you quickly closed his classroom door. “Y/N-“ he starts to say before you cut him off. “I need to tell you something.” You say quickly and walk towards him. He doesn’t have a class after this, so the only risk would be that a teacher walks in the room. “And what would that be?” You took in a deep breath. You were now only a few feet away from him. Your heart started pounding at a mile a minute.

“As you know, today is my birthday, and I have a birthday wish.” You try to look away from his eyes, but your eyes seem to be like magnets, attracted to each other. T/C/N nods, expecting you to continue. He crossed his arms, attractive, but also intimidating. You could tell he was feeling uncertain, possibly in fear of what you would say next. Before you knew it, you were off on a ramble. “I am crushing on you, and I am pretty sure you like me too, with all the hints you’ve been giving me and all...” T/C/N takes a step forward, the gap between the two of you being only a few inches. He uncrosses his arms and shushes you with a finger, immediately spreading tingles across your lips. “I think I know what your wish is.” Your breath gets even shorter. “Really?” You ask, shocked. “Really.” He says confidently. He positions himself so that he is cupping your face with one hand, the other grabbing ahold of your hand. “You wish for me to kiss you.” He wispers, his breath grazing your lips. You lick your lips, then bite your bottom lip. T/C/N lets out a deep breath, looking deeply between your lips and eyes. Then, you close your eyes, expecting him to kiss you. However, he pulls away. You instantly feel embarrassed.

“I will fulfill your birthday wish, Y/N. But not here, not right now.” You instantly feel a longing for his warm touch again. The two of you were so close. Like any birthday girl, you show excitement for your present. “Where and when?” T/C/N smiles. “I will pick you up, at 4 pm we can meet at McDonalds.” It sounded like a strange place to meet, but hey, you’ll take it, he likes you back!

At 4 pm you sat in your parked car outside of the McDonalds. You kept your outfit the same, but did your hair and makeup a little more extravagant. You ate a few mints and listened to your favorite song while you waited. You saw a car pull up a few spaces in front of you, and T/C/N stepped out and looked around. You rolled down your window and popped your head out. T/C/N gave you a nod and walked casually towards your car. “Hey.” You said, smiling. “Hello Y/N.” He smiled back, charmingly. “Still want to come with me?” He asked motioning towards his car. You nodded, staring into his dreamy eyes in the golden sun. He smiles with accomplishment. “Perfect. Come on.” You get out and walk to his car, stepping in the passenger side. His car smelt like his heavenly cologne, and you enjoyed the sight of him driving. He took you to an abandoned parking lot, and on the drive the two of you talked about normal things. It wasn’t awkward, and it didn’t feel like he was your teacher in that moment. It felt like two adults getting to know each other, it was great.

When he parked, the two of you looked at each other. “Y/N, I got to admit, I enjoyed making you wait for your birthday wish today. I saw you in the hall at the end of the school day, and I could just see the anticipation on your face. I liked knowing that it was me you were waiting for.” You blushed because you felt the same way. “I wanted to wait to do it here because we would have less limitations, if you know what I mean.” You nod, and instinctively bite your lip. “Now, birthday girl, let me give you the wish you have been waiting for.” He unbuckles his seat, moves closer, and returns to his position from earlier, holding your hand and cupping your face. He looks into your eyes for a moment, but you couldn’t read what he was feeling. You felt your heart start to beat faster and you just couldn’t wait so you cupped his face and pulled him into a steamy series of kisses. His hands started to travel down your arms and hips, and his tongue entered your mouth shyly. You both released slight moans. He unbuckled your seat belt and broke away from the kiss. You move the belt out of the way and look in his eyes. “I hope I made your wish come true.” You smiled and caught your breath. “More than I could have ever wished for.” You said with a smirk before his lips attached themselves to yours once again.

—————

I’m a little rusty, but my inbox is open if you have suggestions!

[cinqnovembre]

What 2017 taught me

Today is the 29th of December 2017, 13.49. Two and a half days to 2018.

As you know me, I’m a type of person who really like to reminisce. So, I’ve been spending the last days of 2017 looking back at, not only my life, but everyone’s (friends, family, even strangers).

Firstly, I’d like to explain a bit why I like to reminisce.

Do you know the feeling when you rewatch a movie you saw when you were a child and you’re like “oh! that’s what it meant! I didn’t understand back then because I was too young to understand”? That’s exactly how I feel.

I love re-reading old chats with my exes, long time friends, current friends, families, etc. Sometimes I laugh at how awkward I was with my now best friend. Sometimes I cringed at how stupid I was at replying an old crush. Sometimes I slap my forehead reading at how childish I was nagging at my parents. It was a kind of entertainment for me.

Sometimes I read old chats with my ex and I remember again the feelings. How I loved him so much back then and how I feel very much loved, a romantic feeling I’ve long forgotten. My lips curve when I read them. How innocent, how pure. I think it’s true when people say that, we may not remember what people do or say to us, but we will always remember how people make us feel.

I also came across old chats where I told my friends about my broken heart. And immediately, my heart aches again. I can still feel the pain. I remember those days where I just curl in bed crying my heart out. I then read my texts to the ‘culprit’ who broke my heart and I saw how ‘trying-to-look-cool’ I was. All the effort to stand still.

All of these make me realise how much I have grown, how far I have gone. There are some drawbacks and advances in my life but overall, I think that I become more mature. I learn so much this year. I look back and now I understand why things happened the way it was. How they shaped me. I was so angry at God before (oh forgive me Lord) for putting me through so many broken moments but then I realised His bigger plan. Way better than mine.

I understand things I didn’t before. I still believe though that age has nothing to do with maturity but still, as time goes by, experiences shape us and make us wiser, if we let them. If we just take things for granted, I doubt that we will even grow. So this is my way of learning, looking back and reminiscing.

Some friends ask me, is it really useful to do that? Won’t you fall back to old feelings? Some even wonder “you really stored all of those chats still??”

Well to answer the first questions for me, it is useful. It makes me more aware to things happening in my life and to accept what has been done rather than regretting it. Sometimes I feel “damn, I should have said this” or “I should have done that”. But even if I could turn back time, I won’t know better so I’d do the same. And I also believe that everything that happens including the mistakes are what make me now. Making me wiser and more mature in just the right pace. I don’t want to change a bit of it..

Second, will I fall back to old feelings? Not really. I sometimes miss them though. I miss how happy I was at that time (because ignorant is bliss, eh?) and the presence of that someone who now may not be present anymore, etc. But again, I keep in mind that things happened anyway and they happened for a reason, whether I understand it or not. I think that’s why I can limit my reminiscing moment to really just learning. Because, where else can we learn about life? Other than people’s advices, we don’t have professional classes for that. Well then I have to make my own lol.

Oh and btw, sometimes doing this can be a way to reconfirm that you have really moved on. If you can read old chats and not feeling anything anymore, just smiling and acknowledging the fact and go on with your day, then hey, look who has their life back together? Ayee!

Thirds, yes I do. I save them. In hard drives, clouds, phones. I am really bad at deleting stuffs that were once important. And yes, including when I break up. Usually I just store them in hard drive or cloud and then delete the stuffs on my phone. Just so I have harder access to reach them.

Okay enough with the reasoning (woah 1.5 pages already). I want to tell a bit about what I learned from 2017 and looking back at it.

2017 has been kinda rough for me. Heartbreak is my friend. This one particular guy was the highlight of my year. He who brought the light and colours to my life and take them (temporarily) when he left me.

From the beginning, I know i can’t be with him but the heart wants what it wants, stupidly. So I let myself loving him. He, who knew this fact, let this happen as well. When he knew better how much pain I would feel after.

Long story short, he left. I was broken so much. I who used to see him everyday, call his name all the time, have his presence, smell his perfume every day, can no longer see him. For 17 days after he left (yes I counted), I sleep myself crying every night. I hugged his shirt that had his perfume on it and think about him until I was tired. I acted cool and stuffs in front of him though. As if I wasn’t sad, ignoring his calls and texts when in fact I was hurt so badly. Why did I do this? Because what good will come from him knowing that I miss him so much? If he misses me back and we got closer again, it is just like setting up a new time bomb. If he doesn’t miss me back, then there would be a risk of him just playing with my feelings (again) and in the end I would be hurt even more. So, rationally, really, why would I show it to him?

Day 18, I got the realisation that I want to move on. I need to have my life back. So many things are on stake (my master degree, my thesis, my health, my life!). So, I threw away his shirts and perfume. From that day onward, I started to focus on my life back. I still cry myself crying some nights, but not as frequent as I used to.

The turning point of my life was when my laptop was broken. I forgot which day after he left it was but I remember feeling devastated, I think somewhat more than when he left. All my work and data for the whole semester was gone. That moment, I was slapped very hard. I was too focused with something who isn’t even meant for me that I neglected my life. I didn’t take care of myself let alone my laptop that things got lost and broken. This time, my whole life are really on stake.

That was the day where I realise that many many many many things matter more than him. Okay, I once loved him and he may has feelings for me. But it’s over already. Yes you can mourn him but this is way over the line.

First, your life matters more.

Second, I realise that no matter how far I am, my family are the ones who will always got my back. Thousand miles apart, but they kept checking on me about how I am, they even got up late just so they can pray for me and talk to me when I was crying. This is the moment where I realise how much I love them. And it doesn’t really matter where I will live in this world, as long as I can love them.

Slowly, I start to put him where he belong, In the past. I focused back on my study, my health, my life, my friends, and my family.

After him, I stumbled upon someone who tested my morality. I can’t really say a lot about this other person yet because the story hasn’t finished (maybe this will be a reflection for next year?). But I guess, after all that has happened to me, all that I have learned, this person comes as a kind of ‘final exam’ from God. Will I pass it or will I retake my ‘classes’ again?

In the end, I realise something this year.

“Sometimes when things are falling apart, they may be falling into place”

I guess that quote neatly summed up my year. All the stumbling and falling and breaking and crying, they all ultimately shape me. In the end, I see that they make things fall into place. Realising my own worth even after being trashed by a guy, realising that guy’s worth after all this time being blinded by what they call “love”. Realising my family’s undying love and attention. Discovering the fun with my friends. And ultimately, realising that all that happened in this world has been planned by Him and it would be the best scenario for you.

Knowing that, I am at peace.

After all the messy stories and sleepless nights, I am at peace.

Thank you God. I have never learned so much about life until this day. I love you so much and thank you.

Now, 2018, I won’t ask you to be nice to me. In fact, I won’t ask you for anything. Because I am the one who will make it. The nice things, the bad things, with the help of God, I will be the captain of my sail.

So just sit down and see ;)

Thank you, God. My heart feels at ease.

[messylife-studyblr]

Questions Tag

Thank you @tiny-notes for tagging me!

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

LAST:

1. Drink: Milk 
2. Phone call: My mom 
3. Text message: “Ok” 
4. Song you listened to: something by Owl City (don’t remember which song)  
5. Time you cried: Like literally today???

HAVE YOU: 
6. Dated someone twice: Yup 
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nah bro 
8. Been cheated on: Nope! 
9. Lost someone special: My grandpa and 2 cats 
10. Been depressed: Hahahahaha… nooooo 
11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 
12-14: Blue, green, and sometimes purple but only in the right mood

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 
15. Made new friends: Yes 
16. Fallen out of love: In the last school year, yes, but calendar year, no 
17. Laughed until you cried: Yes (Cards Against Humanity is the best) 
18. Found out someone was talking about you behind your back: Yeah rip 
19. Met someone who changed you: Well I guess I don’t know that yet, I’ll get back to you in 5 years haha 
20. Found out who your friends are: Yeah, but like I found out I barely have 2 
21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yes, but school year, not calendar year.

GENERAL: 
22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them (because I’m perpetually scared of people seeing private info so I only add people I know irl) 
23. Do you have any pets: 2 cats! (different from the 2 cats that I lost don’t worry)

24. Do you want to change your name: Nah, it’s unique! 
25. What did you do for your last Birthday: A bag filled with candles and perfumes and stuff.  
26. What time did you wake up: 7am 
27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping (I have no social life) 
28. Name something you can’t wait for: College 
29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 3 hours ago (she went to bed at 9, I am currently typing this at 12 in the friggen morning) 
30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Not socially awkward???? 
31. What are you listening to right now: Thunder and also my laptop fan reminding me that I need to let the inanimate object breathe 
32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Lol yes 
33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Currently? The fact that I can’t fall asleep and I’ve got the busiest week ever coming up, and also the fact that I’m hungry but nothing in my fridge looks good… 
34. Most visited websites: Google and Tumblr

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 
35. Mole/s: Yes literally RIGHT NEXT TO THE INSIDE CORNER OF MY EYE IT’S SO ANNOYING 
36. Mark/s: Those things that are darker and larger than freckles but not moles? They are EVERYWHERE 
37. Childhood dream: To be a ballet dancer and/or a pop singer  
38. Hair color: Brown 
39. Long or short hair: Very short 
40. Do you have a crush on someone: Nope 
41. What do you like about yourself: I think I’m really good at acting and singing and stuff, but idk man there’s a bunch of other kids in the theater department at my school who are way better than me. 
42. Piercings: My ears, but I let them close up because 12 year old me was a wuss (not like 16 year old me is much better) 
43. Blood type: The one thing I wish I knew but have no idea 
44. Nickname: Purposeful mispronunciations of my name to aggravate me  
45. Relationship status: dances to Single Ladies  
46. Zodiac: Libra 
47. Pronouns: she/her 
48. Favorite TV Show: Like too many??? Just a couple off the top of my head: The 100, Parks and Rec, and The Office

49. Tattoos: Nah man I wish tho

50. Right or left hand: Right 
51. Surgery: I had surgery to remove a cyst from under my eye. Also I broke and sprained the same arm (at different times, obviously. Is it even possible for both to happen at the same time? Things to ask Google later) 
52. Hair dyed in different color: Not yet, but I always dream of weird colored hair 
53. Sports: Marching band, winterguard, and the intense dancing-and-singing capabilities of musical (not many consider these sports but let me live)  
55. Vacation: Summer break is supposed to be time for vacations, but I haven’t had one in like 6 years rip 
56. Pair of trainers: Are they just like sneakers? (Can you tell how American I am yet?) I always think of them exclusively as Converse for some reason, so in that case 2 pairs. But if they also include sneakers (athletic shoes btw) then 3 kinda but I think I lost those so maybe it’s just 2 anyways and I rambled for no reason. MORE GENERAL: 
57. Eating: What I wish I was doing right now 
58. Drinking: Non-alcoholic beverages for me lol I tried wine once at a nice dinner with extended family and I unceremoniously spit it back into the glass 
59. I’m about to: regret my inability to fall asleep tonight and blame it on the 2 hour nap I took earlier today. 
61. Waiting for: me to miraculously have my life together and be organized and stuff 
62. Want: to be happy tnh 
63. Get married: maybe? Not anytime soon 
64. Career: A cool idea is to go to college for the rest of my life and get all of these degrees in all of my interests, but never use them because I am perpetually getting more degrees. I never leave college. I leave my debt to either my kids or, if I don’t have any, to my estate. But tbh I have no clue yet which is problematic because I’m applying to colleges soon

WHICH IS BETTER 
65. Hugs or kisses: hugs 
66. Lips or eyes: eyes 
67. Shorter or taller: taller 
68. Older or younger: Older - guys my age are jerks, and girls my age who are also into girls and aren’t my friends (I’ve determined that dating friends sucks) are nonexistent 
70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Literally do not care as long as I can comfortably cuddle with them  
71. Sensitive or loud: A nice in between lol 
72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship 
73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Problematic, because if they’re too much of a troublemaker then that’s a dealbreaker, but if they’re super hesitant nothing would happen between us because I am also super hesitant!!! So another nice in between haha

HAVE YOU EVER: 
74. Kissed a Stranger: No 
75. Drank hard liquor: No 
76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Yes 
77. Turned someone down: Yes 
78. Sex on the first date: Yes but it happened like half a year into our relationship 
79. Broken someone’s heart: Yeah… sorry rip 
80. Had your heart broken: Kinda but it was my fault so it only half counts? 
81. Been arrested: No 
82. Cried when someone died: Yes omg 
83. Fallen for a friend: Yes - don’t try this at home kids

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 
84. Yourself: God I wish 
85. Miracles: Not really, but I would really like to be proved wrong please 
86. Love at first sight: Not really 
87. Santa Claus: I got made fun of in 2nd grade because my parents still hadn’t told me that Santa wasn’t real. Thanks a lot. 
88. Kiss on the first date: I wouldn’t know, because my only date was while my first relationship was already going on, but I did kiss him the day we got together so maybe?

OTHER: 
90. Current best friend name: Anxiety! But fo real Ryan 
91. Eye color: Brown 
92. Favorite movie: Moana is my most recent favorite movie, but there are so many others NOW, TAG 20 PEOPLE: @hello-annie-here @sherlockian-studies @lucifers-trash-stash @maeve-studies @caffelattestudies and any one of my followers who feels like doing this!