#they’d also make a silly hamlet and horatio

[lizardrosen]

I'll Board Him Presently

Part Three of my ongoing Viscount's Men series, about the Bridgerton siblings performing Hamlet. This covers the first half of 2.2: Hamlet's antic disposition up to the entrance of the Players (Part One, Part Two)

tagging @glintglimmergleam and @avocado-moon

Anthony doesn’t think Eloise should go to university, but his Hamlet thinks her Ophelia should get to go study wherever she pleases. It’s something he has in common with Benedict’s Laertes, and with Benedict himself for that matter. (Hamlet would say one of the few things they share; Laertes would say one of the many things). They’re both in awe of her “most ingenious wit” and the more Hamlet observes the corruption of this place he’s always taken for granted, the more he thinks it’s no place for her.

Hamlet also shares Laertes’s irritation with Polonius, which is both less personal and less tempered by love, and now that he’s pretending to be insane he can say whatever he wants as obnoxiously as he can manage, and no one will stop him. When he tells Polonius, “Let her not walk in the sun,” he’s mocking his policy of keeping her locked away because it’s obvious that he’s the one behind Ophelia refusing Hamlet’s letters.

Hasn’t he learned by now that she’ll find a way to do what she wants, with or without his permission. Hamlet’s also playing a game with himself to see how silly he can get Polonius to act to try to humor the prince, and the answer is “quite a bit, actually.” The asides justifying his near-nonsense as wiser than his years is even better than Hamlet could have planned.

“Will you walk out of the air, my lord?” “Into my grave?” is a sincere question, he’s really asking if that’s where he’s headed, and “except my life, except my life, except my life” starts out joking but then he thinks about how hard and how easy it is to take a life, and if someone kills him first he won’t have to kill anyone. It could almost transition straight into To Be Or Not To Be, but even though Anthony is fairly open to different character interpretations, he’s a purist when it comes to rearranging scenes, so instead he’s greeted by Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, of young days brought up with him.

Tom Stoppard hasn’t come along yet, and neither has Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot which inspired him, or the world wars which inspired that, so Ros and Guil don’t have the existential terror of being written characters with no context but each other, or the double-edged sword of fate and probability. What they do have is Gregory, who’s quite used to playing small roles that move the plot along and are forgotten again, and he gives them enough of an inner life to make them interesting to perform and to watch.

As far as he’s concerned, it’s just saying the quiet part loud that the king and queen have summoned them from nowhere to learn as friends what royalty cannot, and even though he’s destined to die offstage, Horatio’s horrified reaction to Hamlet’s casual slaughter is memorial enough for him.

So here they are, wearing a hat he can turn around on his head to show and R or a G depending who he is for each line. Sometimes he changes his name with a flourishing bow, hat in hand, but if the dialogue’s quick enough he’ll just reach up to spin it around. He’s also got enough energy to move around quickly and appear to be in two places enough, if you suspend your disbelief a little.

Anthony agrees that Hamlet hasn’t seen them for several years, almost a decade, which is of course an unfathomable amount of time for Gregory. They were schoolfellows, but not at Wittenberg. Hamlet hasn’t talked about his life to his parents for so long that these two were the only ones Gertrude knew for sure he’d ever been friends with and knew where they were living so she could send for them. And clearly they don’t know Hamlet very well because if they did they’d be trying to hide incredulous snickers at “Sure I am two men there are not living to whom he more adheres,” because ma’am, Horatio is right there.

Still, she’s not that far off the mark, Hamlet does remember them fondly and becomes a younger, more carefree version of himself — “Then you live about her waist, or in the middle of her favours?” “Faith, her privates, we,” becomes a tickle fight.

When Hamlet asks why his friends have been sent to prison he’s not testing them or doubting their motivations, not yet. It’s just self-evident to him that Denmark a prison and no one would come here willingly, but he thinks it’s bad luck and not a plot that brought him here, so he’s a little jealous that they’re such strangers to Elsinore that they don’t feel trapped by it.

Ros jumps on the chance to steer their talk to ambition and shadows and dreams, and Guil follows his lead because that seems a likely reason for him to be acting so strangely. Hamlet takes note of the abrupt change but is more interested, for the moment, in chasing down the shadow of a dream, but he’s observing them more closely after that, and after intentionally muddling the imagery of who’s following whom, the kings or the beggars, he abruptly changes their direction again — “Shall we to the court? For by my fay I cannot reason!” — and they’re too quick to wait upon him. This is when he really starts feeding his own suspicion with little tests and needling questions.

Gregory doesn’t play them as nervous or guilty when Hamlet questions them more in particular, or even sly when they’re trying to figure him out — they’re just innocently doing the task they’ve been given, so they have no idea how much danger they’re in, and they’re confused why it’s so important whether they were sent for or not, but there’s no hasty consultation for them to get their story straight, and no awkward regret before Guildenstern answers, “My lord, we were sent for.”

Hamlet’s almost relieved that this was relatively easy, but then he gets suspicious of the feeling of relief, and weary of his own suspicions, and he figures they’ll come up with something to tell the king and queen no matter what, so if he at least gives them something true that doesn’t touch on Claudius he’ll be that much safer.

And maybe he hopes they’ll understand how he’s feeling, and he’s disappointed but not very surprised when Rosencrantz makes it into a joke. Why should he have hoped for them to be other than they are? Ros fumbles for an explanation and comes up with the players, so Hamlet switches his attentions to finding out everything about them.

[tragicdanishlesbians]

Hamlet and Horatio

who is more likely to hurt the other? - Hamlet. When she’s not feeling the greatest she will, as we’ve seen, lash out. But she always apologizes quickly.who is emotionally stronger? - Horatio’s a tough kid. Which is why it’s so shocking when she does have really rough days and she breaks. Hamlet gets it though, and she’s always there for her.who is physically stronger? - Horatio is not only the tol to Hamlet’s smol but she’s got muscles. She may be a nerdy scholar but she can also do pushups while Hamlet sits on her back and reads to her.who is more likely to break a bone? - Hamlet is a total klutz. Every day is a new opportunity for her to fall down the stairs. Horatio doesn’t know how Hamlet manages to fence so well.who knows best what to say to upset the other? - They both do? But it does not come out at all, even when they’re mad at each other.who is most likely to apologise first after an argument? - They’re both quick to the punch, usually apologizing at/around the same time. who treats who’s wounds more often? - Horatio carries around a first aid kid. Help her.who is in constant need of comfort? - While I wouldn’t say constant, Hamlet’s definitely in need of comfort far more than Horatio, especially when it gets close to the anniversary of her father’s death.who gets more jealous? - Hamlet. While she trusts Horatio, she’s very often taking what could just be seen as people being polite to Horatio as them flirting. Horatio doesn’t mind so much when Hamlet gets all possessive.who’s most likely to walk out on the other? - Neither. They’d never, no matter how angry.who will propose? - Horatio for sure. She’d want to make it a big deal at first and probably have this big elaborate plan in place, but then before the thing would go into motion there’d be this perfect moment that had just the two them and Horatio would propose right then and it’d be intimate and adorable. (BUT ALSO IN MY HAMLET ADAPTION HORATIO PROPOSES TO HAMLET IN A SORT OF NON-ROMANTIC “I’LL HELP YOU MAKE A FAMILY OF YOUR OWN THAT YOU’LL FEEL COMFORTABLE IN” WAY but then of course it gets romantic anyway imma go cry brb…) who has the most difficult parents? - It’s more Claudius that’s the difficult “parent”. Gertrude more or less knows that her daughter’s in a secret relationship and helps keep it on the DL, but Claudius is always going on and on and being a general douche. Horatio’s parents know all about the relationship and they are so down for it. Whenever they’re on leave they always want updates.who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? - Horatio does most of the time. But if Hamlet’s nervous/anious/having a rough time she will go for Horatio’s hand the minute they’re out the door.who comes up for the other all the time?  - uh?who hogs the blankets? - Hamlet is a total HOG. Horatio has back up blankets for situations of this kind.who gets more sad? - Hamlet, definitely. She always feels even worse because she feels like it makes her a bother or a pain to be with. Horatio never minds. She understands that Hamlet can’t control her depression.who is better at cheering the other up? - While Horatio generally is doing this and is definitely an expert, Hamlet’s very good at it as well. But Horatio’s probably the better of the two.who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes? - Hamlet. When she finds something funny, (especially when it’s Horatio saying it), she’s a giggling mess.who is more streetwise? - Hamlet. Girl survived pirates.who is more wise? - While they’re both extremely wise, Horatio takes the book-smart cake.who’s the shyest? - I feel like they both are? It depends on the environment they’re in.who boasts about the other more? - Hamlet cannot stop talking about Horatio. She’d be the type that posts pictures of Horatio around like “Have you seen my girlfriend. She’s not missing or anything she’s just perfect” if their relationship wasn’t hidden. But anytime she’s around people who know, she’s like “MY GIRLFRIEND IS PERFECT HOW HAVE I BEEN SO BLESSED.” Otherwise she’ll always just really talk about Horatio. Polonius thinks they’re just really good Gal Pals �� until he figures out what’s going on. He ships it.who sits on who’s lap? - Hamlet loves sitting on Horatio’s lap. Horatio loves when she does.

[aconissa]

for the OTP thing: hamlet and horatio AND (bc i couldn't just stop at one) charles and sebastian

just did sebastian and charles but here’s hamlet and horatio!

which one sexts like a straight white boy? HAMLET, and horatio usually lets him get away with it so he never learns to stop

which one cried during a fucking disney movie? hamlet always cries at the lion king but he doesn’t really understand why

who put a goddamned fork in the microwave? horatio would get egged on by hamlet to do it because they’d both be a bit drunk at some point and having a Serious Philosophical Conversation and at some point hamlet would be like ‘what would happen if we stuck metal in a microwave?’ and horatio would say ‘something bad probably’ so immediately hamlet would go ‘babe you gotta do it’ and horatio would be too drunk to say no to those puppy eyes

who does the silly hands-over-the-eyes “guess who” thing? whenever horatio sees hamlet start to overthink things and get caught up in his head, he does it to try and distract him before it gets bad

who puts their cold hands/feet on their partner? hamlet does it to horatio all the time because he’s a lil shit and he finds it funny (but also he gets cold easily and is usually results in extra snuggles so..)

who had that embarrassing reality TV marathon? horatio got really into america’s next top model at some point and hamlet teased him about it a bit but in the end he just lay down on the sofa with his head in horatio’s lap while they watched it and made constant snarky comments about everyone

who laughs more during sex? horatio, because hamlet tends to make very dramatic comments in bed and it always makes him giggle

who is the little spoon? hamlet, partly because he just loves being cuddled but also because he can utilise his position to turn soft cuddles into sex 

otp ask meme!