#theyre written to be easier to read and sometimes being able to get through a book without any issues

[anotherpapercut]

I've been having a hard time making myself read which means it's time to read children's books for a little bit. I've never read animorphs or warrior cats, which one should I check out?

[botanyshitposts]

I wanna get into botany but textbooks and shit are hard to reead fuck I just see walls of words how do I read that shit

ok this actually isn’t the first ask ive gotten about this recently!! textbooks are a severely underrated class of book, but also take a lot of practice and finesse to read at first. 

something that i’ve discovered about textbooks- and this is one of those things that i wish someone had told me and i ended up finding out on my own- is that there are two types of textbooks: 1. the books that you have to buy for class to teach you the basics, or 2. compilations of current stuff on a specific topic

a thing ive noticed about being an undergrad/learning the basics is that ur essentially catching up with the rest of the world, and that’s how all the textbooks u gotta spend like $314231 on at the beginning of the year on are written. so the type one books are structured on teaching you things, which means that each chapter is structured in a cumulative lesson that you have to read all the way through, sometimes slugging through pages upon pages of just…..shit, because you need to know whats on page 9 to be able to understand whats on page 32. these books suck ass. theyre essential and very painful but once you get through them you can get to the cool type of textbook, type 2. 

type 2 textbooks are a weird thing academia does where they get a shitton of scientists together and have everybody write down the new shit they learned, and then they put it in a big overview book. these are kinda few and far between, but are super cool because due to it being just a giant compilation of individual results put together into one giant stack, if you arent interested in what ur reading you can literally just skip it and go to the next cool passage. nobody gives a shit and nothings building on anything else so if you dont understand one, you might understand another better, and u can skip around in the chapters as you please, which makes it SO much easier to read. the best example of this i own is Carnivorous Plants: Physiology, Ecology, and Evolution, which is the newest non-school textbook i own (published last february) and by far one of my faves even though i just got it (side note- some people have told me that they think its super interesting but are hesitant at the price tag and i would like to clarify that i saw this, it cost me Quite A Few Hours At Work, and because im going into the field, dont own any plants at all right now aside from one (1) fern, and had my birthday very recently i am giving myself CONSIDERABLE leeway on my book budget lmao). 

on a similar note: books like this are more expensive because the newer a text is, the more expensive it is because of the demand for new shit. a book 5 years out of date will cost about $20, and a book 10 years out of date will cost $8, and antique books usually cost around $2 lmao. on the flip side, the type 1 botany textbook required for my formal class this semester was bought used for me by my mom for by birthday a few years ago in high school, and cost about $90; books being used by any university for a class immediately jump in price, and books with new editions just released will cost SIGNIFICANTLY less than their counterparts. your best bet in some of these cases is a university library, but i digress lol 

as for botany textbooks for class and how to read them- again, start at the beginning of the chapter and slug through, because you gotta build up a knowledge base. if you’re taking a formal class, then lecture will most likely cover what chapters are assigned, so usually with my undergrad ones i listen intently and take notes in class, then supplement with my textbook by reading the parts that i’m confused on. when i need to read a type 1 textbook, i implement the method i used in high school to pass my AP courses: right when class gets out and i’m still in the ‘We Are Focusing Right Now Yes’ mindset, i sit myself down and dont get up until the chapter is read. this is sometimes more effective than other times. In terms of understanding the material, i find it helps if you look for how the concept you’re learning about is applied irl in studies and stuff, because if gives u a handle on it and brings to light what you do and don’t understand. on a more basic study habit level, if you’re like me and have ADHD but aren’t medicated, if i know i have to Focus ™ i take a caffeine pill or drink coffee in the morning and then try not to eat a ton of sugar until after i’m done studying, because it makes me feel frazzled. really, a lot of ‘learning the basics’ textbook reading is sitting down and slogging through it. 

in type 2 books, i usually flag the pages that i find interesting with little sticky note flags, because it gives my brain a background task of ‘hhhhh find place to put colorful item yes’. 

if you’re experiencing executive dysfunction with the intimidation of reading Big Important Thing: this sounds stupid, but think of it as a long online article. like when you open ur book for ur chapter be like ‘yeah just gonna read this wikipedia page now’. like i’ve learned that when applying an online layout, my brain is like ‘ah yes short and good and will remain focused now’, but when working in a book format- even in an online textbook- my brain immediately goes offline because ‘No!!! Big Stressful Chunk Of Text Gives Me Anxiety. Do Not Like’. i do this while encouraging myself to read regular books, too (*opens horror novel* ‘wow this is a pretty long creepypasta huh’). 

[cardigans-and-bowties]

Lots of 2-4am feelings 

CW: transphobia, murder, ableism, police brutality, and a lot of worldsuck. Also religious/spiritual stuff toward the end apparently.... I didn’t plan it, it just happened.....

I'm literally talking about researching anti-trans murder ... .Also very emotional and therefore unnuanced in ways that it might be if I were to actually discuss these issues with someone......

I don't really know who to talk to about this because most of my friends that I would tell are asleep or just really shouldn't be put through the emotional labor of listing to this. So I'm mostly just venting. I'm editing biographies for my LGBT group's Transgender Day of Remembrance event. It's certainly not the first time I've stayed up at some ungodly hour recording things about people we've lost (the first 1000+ on the list we have and then some), but it's not like it stops being sad. I've felt different about it throughout the year and a half I've worked on it, but the anger is sad, the defeated is sad, the hope that we can make it better is sad, the numbness is sad. 

I'm not sure there's much more disheartening than trying to find the birthday of a dead person despite the fact that you know that you probably won't find it. This also isn't the first time I've done this. There are a lot of folks who don't have recorded ages, let alone birthdays. But I thought maybe *just maybe* in the age of technology I could find the birthday of someone who died in the US in 2010. But after seeing an article about how the murderer's lawyer made a joke that killing a trans sex worker wasn't that bad, I had to stop. And this was after spending a half an hour reading and rereading the details of Simon Bush's murder (and finally finding the sentencing date of the murderer) and thinking about how many ways it could have been stopped and how fucked up the whole system is. 

Just in the US, if the legal system gave a shit about the mentally ill, Simon's murderer wouldn't have been able to kill them. If the legal system gave a shit about the mentally ill trans people, Kayden Clarke and Sean Hake wouldn't be dead. If the legal system gave a fuck about mentally ill trans women of color, Kiwi Herring and Laverne Turner wouldn't be dead. If the legal system gave a shit about trans people of color, Rae'Lynn Thomas's killer - her mother's ex-boyfriend who was apologetically transphobic towards her - would have been investigated as though he had committed a hate crime and Marsha P Johnson's murder wouldn't have been written off as a suicide despite a still unknown murderer bragged about killing her at a bar the day after. If the legal system gave a shit about transgender people, most of the people on this list wouldn't (in all likelihood) have murderers who have never seen a night on the inside of a jail cell for what they did. 

This really doesn't even scratch the surface of the tip of the iceberg in a glance of how trans people are abused by the US legal system (and I didn't even touch on how people are treated in jail... I know there are people that I've read about who died misgendered and ignored in jail but I just don't have the energy to dig that deep right now). This isn't even looking at the role that class plays. This isn't even looking at it on a global level - nearly every fucking country is guilty. Thousands of deaths aren't acknowledged because they are legal in some countries. Over 800 trans people have been recorded as being murdered in Brazil alone. European countries aren't exempt either. People are still murdered - still pushed to suicide. 

Shit like this doesn't happen out of nowhere. A bunch of people don't decide "hey lets kill that person that look trans" for no reason. Boyfriends don't kill their girlfriends because theyre scared of their friends discovering she's trans by some fluke one-person "crazy"-man decision. Multiple doctors don't just refuse to treat a dying trans person because they're an asshole in the vacuum of space. There is context for everything. An infographic went around recently about rape culture and how passing comments reinforce the jokes which reinforce the catcalling which reinforces larger, more physically violent acts. Its the same thing here. 

Cis people still wonder why trans people have to make such a big deal about pronouns or names. Or complain that they "can't enjoy anything because all the LGBTs are so fucking sensitive". I’ve seen three separate fucking facebook threads about gender reveal parties - all of which featured a pack of Cisgender Susannes saying “we just can’t enjoy anything anymore” or “well I don’t see a problem with it”. Your joke is not more important that someone's mental health. Your comfort is not more important that someone's safety. 

I was angry for such a long time. I still am - but anger used to be the main emotion - I was in a rage at everyone. I was hopeless. Now I'm trying my damnedest not to be. I've gotten to the point where I am forcing myself into some kind of hope. I am reaching for anything to make me feel like this world doesn't hate queer people. I am doing everything I can so that my walk on this earth can make it easier for the people who walk on it after me. Sometimes it is fucking hard. When it's 1am and I still cant so much as find a last name and age for someone killed in 2010 (because she was trans and homeless) it's hard not to be pissed the world. When it's 2am and I'm looking at Leelah Alcorn's last typed words again, reading for the 1000th time her age and thinking for the 1000th time "she was so fucking close to being able to get out of that house", remembering the names of the other teens who died the same way she did because the world around them treated them like they were sub-human, remembering that 41% of transgender people attempt suicide because of this shit place, remembering that we don't have anything close to accurate number to know how many actually do commit suicide, it's hard not to be pissed at the world. 

I worry myself fucking sick worrying if one of my friends could be next. They take public transport,  they go to protests - my best friend has sent me pictures from an STL police line featuring full riot gear. Most queer people I know are mentally ill. I am worried fucking sick. I see the numbers and I just have to suppress what I can as far as this personal worry goes. 

I think the only reason I'm not completely jaded (if you can believe it) is God and the fact that we were made and that we are loved and that we are all connected to each other through that. We are bigger than us and we were made to love each other - to be each other. Everything is connected. The systems I talked about earlier - they're all connected. But they were created broken. I have no faith in that. But if we were created by something perfect, that means there is hope for people. As fucking cheesey as it sounds, if we loved each other - genuinely listened and tried to understand - there would be so much less pain. I think a lot about how this connection goes both ways. That's how empathy works. That's why oppressions are connected. The genuine understanding and emotions and ability to help each other so deeply is so beautiful. That is the main thing that keeps me from being hopeless. If we focus on healing ourselves and each other it has the potential to reach others. If I spread good in this world, it will affect more people than I know. And that is how change can happen. It starts from the individual and it spreads. Each person affects each person and that has the opportunity to be so beautiful and I have to hold on to that hope. The world only changes through people. As shitty as everything seems, it can be less shitty if more people are trying. By God’s grace, we can find still love in a world that produces this many volumes of pain.

I dunno, ya'll (I say as if someone will have read this far down this wall of 3am rambling). I'm just having a lot of feelings. I've got to keep doing what I'm doing - helping people, being a better person, trying to do what I can to do anything to help this fucked up world, keeping just one person from having to feel as much pain..

[rocknvaughn]

Transcript of the new Colin Morgan Interview

Colin Morgan is a man of many talents. Enigmatic performer. Charming Ulsterman. Method actor. Qualities that have underpinned his ability to reinvent himself at every turn. Since bursting onto the scene over a decade ago, Colin has transported us back to the Middle Ages, explored the meaning of life as a twenty-first century android, and broken a few hearts as a troubled Victorian shrink. Gee Wong talks to the rising star about the intensity of the roles he plays, his way with accents and why he’s giving social media the cold shoulder.

Arranging an interview with Colin Morgan is a lesson in timing. Given that his brisk schedule and unforeseen events have thwarted our previously arranged powwows, it’s a relief when the phone eventually whirrs into life. He introduces himself in his deep loquacious Ulster drawl and all is forgiven. “I’m glad we’ve finally got the chance to talk, there’s been a lot of back and forth, hope everything is alright?” he says. The raw accent, while expected, is captivating to hear for the first time—largely because he’s a master at disguising those native vowels.

From the West End stage to television to the silver screen, the vocal gymnastics have been key to defining this award-winning actor’s march toward stardom. In fact, they often go hand in hand with the intense and angst-heavy roles he clearly relishes. “I couldn’t write down any specific reasons why I go for a part because it really is instinctive. It’s more of a feeling than a reason, you know what I mean?” he explains. “It’s like when you meet someone and you just click, but you don’t really know why, but you just do. It’s a bit like that. I’m meeting a character when I read it on the page and if it does something to me, it literally calls.” His confidence in an ability to single out roles is striking and the approach clearly works for him. “It has to be the only way. The scriptwriter, director and producer—theyre all on board because they’re passionate about a project and you’ve got to come in and respect there’s been a lot of hard work gone into the stage where they’re casting—these things can go on for years!” Auditions must be pretty intense then? “Yeah, I can feel it sometimes in auditions—if you can’t come in and deliver that level of what’s come before then you shouldn’t be there. You’ve got to love it.”

For his breakout performance—as the eponymous young wizard in the BBC’s fantasy drama Merlin—Colin owned an English accent so convincingly that his burgeoning fan base couldn’t quite believe he was from County Armagh. What’s his secret to cracking an accent? The answer is, of course, a lot of talent, practice and immersing himself in the role. “When I’m working on a character the voice comes first, or initially the way they move, it all influences each other,” he says. It’s a habit that’s seen him in good stead over the years. “Just like a runner training for a marathon, you need to do your training, listen to a lot of people, the way they talk and move, and imitate a lot because you’re working in the business of mimicry,” he admits. “It’s a case of muscle memory for me. I love accents, I love doing them, as many as I can really.”

He’s recently been back on the box—fine-tuning his Received Pronunciation English—in the supernatural period drama The Living and the Dead. It’s a darkly written role about grief and holding onto the past, with no shortage of terrifying apparitions to hammer home the message. What was it like returning to the fantasy genre after a few years away? “It’s weird because fantasy implies a story is lifted from reality. I don’t feel like I get affected by the genre because the character is just living their story,” he says. “For me, it’s all about the script and reaching into the character that I can inhabit.” The actor gave his all to the role, including staying in accent throughout filming. “I didn’t plan on it at all on the first day, but after we did our first scene it just stayed with me for the whole shoot. You’re in costume and even on your lunch break you’re still dressed as the character, you’ve still got the long hair and the beard,” he explains, laughing. “You still feel it—the person and the voice are just part of it.” So, in reality, not as odd as it sounds. “It’s just so much easier especially when you have a Northern Irish accent. To try and go from that to an English accent from 1894—they’re miles apart!”

Talking of his appearance, his fans set Twitter alight after the first episode. The reason? A sit-up-in-your-chair topless scene that let slip an ‘all growed up’ physique and, inevitably, a new-found pin-up status for the actor. It’s a far cry from his fresh-faced debut in Merlin at the tender age of 22. Nevertheless, the comments went right over his head—he shuns social media. “It’s just not me really. You have to want to do it,” he states without hesitation. “It’s an amazing medium for getting the word out for shows, promotion and for staying in contact, but there are a lot of negative sides as well.” Can he point out a few of the downsides? “When the words you want to say don’t have to be said face to face people tend to say a lot of stuff—that’s not something I think is healthy for an actor to be an open party to,” he adds. I get the impression he’s been burnt from personal experience and now views his privacy as sacrosanct. When pressed further, he confesses to a distaste for so-called ‘insta-stardom’ and all the baggage that comes with it. “The good stuff can make you arrogant, the bad stuff can stay with you forever,” he declares.

That said, don’t call him a technophobe. Although he doesn’t watch much television these days, he’s all for the BBC’s decision to simultaneously broadcast and stream his latest show. “It’s brilliant. It’s absolutely in keeping with how people are watching nowadays. When I do watch television, it’s on catch-up, Netflix and Amazon.” He does also venture online to shop and email. He has googled himself once—purely out of curiosity—which was enough to put him off for life. So, how does he receive feedback on his performances? “I never hear about it unless it’s mentioned to me. Fans show their support in many different ways. A lot of them write fan letters, which I think is much more in line with how I’m likely to respond.”

A low-fi solution indeed, but totally in keeping with Colin’s old-school, yet easygoing style. Not much fazes him: was turning 30 a big deal last year? “No, not really, weirdly. I can appreciate it’s one of those milestones in your life,” he states matter-of-factly before pausing and reflecting on intriguing new possibilities. “At the minute, I think I’m still on that younger side of the age bracket, but I’m looking forward to being an ageing actor and getting to play all those great Shakespearean roles as well.”

A busy year it certainly was. Having played the lead in the mystery drama Waiting for You, he returned for the second season of the UK sci-fi drama Humans. Apparently, there was tremendous pressure to live up to the first season, which was a surprise hit for Channel 4—its biggest show in 20 years. “It definitely went up in scale, much bigger, much faster, lots of new characters and more storylines,” he says of the production. “I think fans will have loved the direction it went in.” A third season looks like a shoo-in.

Then there was the closing chapter of The Fall. Over the course of the show’s story arc critics and audiences endured the stuff of nightmares as Gillian Anderson’s detective hunted sadistic serial killer Paul Spector, played by fellow Ulsterman Jamie Dornan. Colin joined the show in season two as enigmatic detective Tom Anderson and reveals it was equal parts tension and anticipation during the filming of the endgame. “A pure page-turner! I couldn’t wait to get the next page of the script and that says a lot about the writer’s skill,” he admits. What was it like working with Gillian? “Just brilliant. Gillian’s a consummate professional, such a joy to work with and she has a really good sense of humour. She had really heavy scenes, but she was just able to let go after filming.” What about Jamie? “Absolutely brilliant, he’s had global success and he’s exactly the same as when I first started working with him. He’s a real talent.”

If last year was good, then 2017 is set to be even better. He’s in final talks on a number of projects, including another film that he hopes will start shooting in the early summer. Meanwhile, he’s attracting considerable attention from across the Atlantic. “There are a lot of exciting dramas happening, and right now a lot of American things are coming through,” he says.

Talk turns to the day of his photo shoot, which I suspect might not have been the most enjoyable experience for the publicity-shy actor. “It was brilliant! The guys were so good! It was basically a group of people in a room with a camera having a bit of a laugh,” he volunteers, somewhat enthusiastically, before pausing as if to compose himself. After a few seconds he continues: “Obviously, in any of those situations it’s not a normal thing to be photographed, it’s not really second nature to me. So, anything that makes the whole experience relaxed, enjoyable and fun that’s the key, and the guys really did that for me.”

It’s apparent he draws a clear distinction between performing for his art and self-promotion—the later of which he accepts as part and parcel of his profession. “I think it’s important to divide the line between your professional and personal self,” he says. I press him further on how he finds the right balance between championing his work and maintaining a safe distance from media intrusion. “With so many shows being on TV there is a commitment in terms of publicity that wasn’t as strong as in the past. Yes, when you work on a job, it’s important that you’re proud of it and you want to support it. The other side of it is the nastier side, which can backfire on people.” A diplomatic answer tempered with his signature frankness.

It’s nearing the end of the interview, but his last remarks remind me of something he said at the outset that neatly sums up the actor’s perspective. “Whenever I did theatre, I’d go in, do the job, go home and trust that the work we had done was enough. We didn’t need anyone’s approval, disapproval or opinions.” In our current hashtag culture, it’s refreshing to hear someone completely unfazed by fame, while somehow still managing to wear their sensibilities so lightly.