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#things are honestly not as great at work rn
dante-and-dragons · 10 months
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I just realized that I never made a post about it, but I started watching Vox Machina a few weeks back and I am loving it! 
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dewitty1 · 3 months
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Saturday Six (Stuff)
Cats woke me up too dang early. It was mostly Reggie, of course, so I chucked him out (don't @ me about it - he's and indoor/outdoor Boi) because that's what he wanted anyway. I didn't realize it was that cold until later, when I actually got up, thanks to Leeloo. So, I went out and called Reggie several times, with no luck. He decided to wait to come back after three + hours of being outside (not too unusual, but random enough) and I give him the Molly Weasley "Where *HAVE* you been?!" he just looks at me and gives a "maow" like "Whassup mom? Wassall the hubbub?" Crazy damn cat. Gotta love em. (^・ω・^ )
I'm really getting upset about the business situation. Idk what to do. It's bad, bad. And I've looked at jobs. Nothing much but nursing really. Ugh.(;*´Д`)ノ
I find it funny that I identify as aromantic, but I love reading romance novels (not as much as I used to, but I have some old faves), Drarry fic of course, and I love RomComs, and shows like Love is Blind and Indian Matchmaking lolololololol. I guess I just don't feel it for myself. Idk, it's weird, to me anyway.(*´▽`*)
I really hate asking people for help. It really feels like failing to me. I guess I have my parents to thank for that one. But I've been asking people to share my business posts. Mostly on Fb because that's where the old people with money are. I don't love it, but this is the world we live in.(o;TωT)o
As if things weren't bad enough, I also got a jury duty summons in the mail for my birth month. But at least it wasn't for my actual birthday.
Anyway, I'm just trying breathe. And I keep hoping that something will come through. I'm still swimming, even though life is trying to drown me. p(*^-^*)q
BONUS - Mom tested positive for covid! So life keeps giving! (•̀o•́)ง
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Obligatory 9am work rant
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poppyseed799 · 6 months
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Brother why are there so many roaches we have had TWO full exterminations and BOTH TIMES the roaches came back. The first time there were less of them for a week (still some) but the second time there was absolutely zero difference in the number of roaches even immediately after the extermination. Like man. What am I supposed to do about this
#they’re in all the appliances dawg how am I supposed to cook 😭#and my sister is just like ‘just move out!!!’ brother WHERE#she is actually moving out on the shortest notice imaginable cuz she can’t deal with the roaches#going to our ex step fathers house cuz she already planned to move in there with her partner#but now she’s going there early cuz of the roaches#and like okay sure but WE can’t move in there. and yet she’s like ‘find a new place!’ brother we renewed the lease#and also do you know how the world works nowadays you can’t move anywhere it’s always more expensive 😭#we’re like frogs in boiling water#I jumped ahead with that metaphor but I’m too lazy to backtrack to explain how I got there#anyways yknow the roach guys said the infestation was REALLY bad and they wanted to do a follow up#but idk when that follow up is cuz it’s been a month since the extermination and there has been 0 difference. as soon as we came back to the#apartment there were still roaches on the walls#like man what am I supposed to do they’re everywhere and it would be so hard to move out 😭#vent#<- figure I’ll add that cuz like. that’s what this is. my life is just not great rn. constantly hungry too cuz we struggle with groceries#and I’m too scared to make myself some food cuz of the obscene amount of roaches. there was a roach in the dinner last night. then my mom#invited us to dinner at her place and refused to get us dinner.#said she wanted to hang out and didn’t talk to me so wtf#it’s just not going well. I posted happily about how I got those gifts but honestly I can’t even enjoy them because there’s too many roaches#like I don’t know where to put things so that roaches don’t get them. there’s no safe space.
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i do not know anything about whatever "transid" is (nor do i particularly want to learn i think, i dont understand it but as long as youre not doing material harm to people its not really my buisness)
however. if i see anyone in my notes or in the wild that is Not Black claiming all the trauma that comes with being a black person in a world that is Built Racist i am going to block report and eat with my bare hands
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scottishstoner · 1 year
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This new “relationship” with my coworker guy is pissing me off he’s totally bizarre sending mixed signals sometimes but being so sweet in real life and when we go out or are at his flat…. At work he’s a different person and he likes to pick fights about stupid shit and he’s scared of commitment so we weren’t labelling things taking it slow (which I prefer to go with it not label it until I’m ready and he is) but we both don’t want to see other people, he’s a gentleman and we have messed around but nothing all the way but now I feel like he isn’t with it with the upset he’s causing me even if he says he feels strongly for me and it isn’t even like he’s using me either….he’s just confused as he’s never been with anyone before (he’s 26 I’m 28) and it’s all new to him and he’s going through a lot in life but so am I and he says some rude things sometimes and I just don’t know if he’s worth this shit but I hate that I still have feelings for him but I might have to forget him because of everything and it just hurts so much
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lloveyouinsecret · 2 years
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Having to navigate not liking a friend’s bf when you know that they have worries about balancing bc/friend time and friends not being friends with their bf is so…I’m not good at this!!!!!! I don’t like being asked if he can join us bc I want to say no but I don’t want it to become a thing! But I also don’t want to rely on other ppl in the group to say no bc who knows if they’re feeling up to saying no today…
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shrunkupthejams · 2 years
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WIP Intro but I have too much ADHD for this Edition: Of Sea Jewels and Great Lords 
(Finally my favourite one!! (kind of))
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About title: So, for this I wanted to tie the meanings behind the main characters' surnames into the title while invoking a sense of certain colours and adventure, kind of? It's honestly a bit misleading.. one main character's surname is Bijoux, which is literally just the French word for jewel, and I associate them with indigo, so I put sea jewels in the title. The other main character's surname, Meredith, means something like lord/great lord, so I threw that into the title, too. It's a fantasy adventure story, so I wanted that to carry into the title, and I think it does, but the characters don't actually encounter sea jewels, or great lords; it's mostly just mountains and learning to navigate each other. 
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About: So, in recovering bewitched lost villagers for the village of Nomen, magician Geo Bijoux is saddled with the responsibility of depositing Chad Meredith under a mountain in return for the missing villagers that the local dragon has been protecting. In their reluctant travels in search of a good, uninhabited mountain, Geo learns more of the reason for Chad's eternal imprisonment, and the two, against their wishes, grow closer through their adventures and the unavoidable shenanigans that come with a pair of young magicians traversing a continent. 
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Setting: So I lied when I said Giselle & Darius is chronologically the first story that happens on Dirt; this actually happens 200-300 years before that. (I don't have exact numbers yet,,) Also, it's set all over Astelle, but mostly south of the Heart of Astelle, which is a big mountain.
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Featuring: the gays; healing from trauma; moral grayness; questioning morality, motives, and life choices; riyals to lovers (in a way); getting sick of the person you're roadtripping with, as is wont to happen; competitions of basically who can be the biggest asshole; lots of homesickness; learning to follow your heart. 
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Do I have a playlist for it? OH YOU BET I DO :)
wip stuff taglist: @multi-lefaiye
#ps.txt#wip: of sea jewels and great lords#wip intro but i have too much adhd for this edition#hi sorry#i am SO HYPED to share this one bc my brain is just buzzing about geo & chad rn and i've barely talked about them yet :/#but i read the most recent wip i have w/ them today (the one i posted the tantalus line from) and it was good i want to work on it!!#there was some creation myth stuff entwined in there that doesn't work and im going to mame into its own thing but!!! this wip is such new#territory for them!! (*coughs* vulnerability) and like thete are so many feelings being allowed to happen#like it's a TURNING POINT. THIS is where they start getting to a point where they're on equal groubd and can start developing feelings#for each other <3 bc they've spent the rest of the story being bitches to each other honestly but i mean chad's NOT dealing w/ his feelings#about the dragon damning him. and geo just doesn't care about chad at all so why would he be nice? there's literally like nothing in it for#them. but yk travelling together and only spending time with each other for like 9 months will change that..#**why would they be nice#i frequently fuck up geo's pronouns ughh#they use they/them but i debated using he/him (too) bc i started this wip as a short story for a gr 10 english assignment and got attached#but i was debating bc like anxiety and what would my teacher think? (which: she was literally the theatre teacher so??? what was there to#worry about??) so yeah i get mixed up a lot#ig geo's a bit masc too? more androgynous so yeah#and chad is just he/him but he definitely has tboy swag even tho this is theoretically taking place in some sort of medieval times#but gender works really weirdly in astelle so it works <3#god these tags better not be longer than the post ive been going on for too long aaagrhfhhdh#also omg i love the header for this it's perfect <3
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be-good-to-bugs · 10 days
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yay weed
#the bin#i shoudk save my money but im not going to. this is the closest thing i have to antidepressants and actually effective pain killers so#whatever. it helps with my anxiety too. it helps with almost everything. unless im in a lot of pain and then it makes that pain way worse#if i have a more than minor headache then it makes that way worse and if something specific hurts really REALLY bad then its not good#but if not then it fixes most of my stuff. its temporary but it whaatever works :/ and the next day is usually pretty good too#its not THAT expensive. ive been getting the cheapest option around me and its not terrible. i wish i could have less but alas#i envy ppl who can do 10mgs and have it help and have a good time. i have 10mg and everything sucks#everything still hurts. my brain is still very much on. im just unable to see straight and my walking gets weird and my mouth gets dry#and nothing is enjoyable. it just sucks. 15 is ok but its not really worth it to me honestly. its kinda boring. if im soending this money#then it has to be good. better to have a much better experience than to save a little bit of money and have several less good ones#that are barely worth it anyway. hhh. my sister is being less weird abt it now at least.#i kinda fucking hate that this works so well but when i oull the 'it shuts my tourettes completely off' card ppl suddenly get very ok with#any amount i wanna have however often. its deeply insulting but also very expected. at least its convenient for me in this case#with my mom its not that insulting i guess. last time she was around mw very often my tics eere real bad and they were obviously very#unpleasant for me. but its mostly bc everything there was so stressful and overwhelming all the time and ut made it far worse#but shes actually pretty normal abt it. at leasts he is now#its rare that people are. ppl look at me like im inhuman. i try very very hard not to tic around people bc of this#the ppl im around rn dont look at me weird but ive hardly ever ticced in front of them.#getting high also helps my ocd so much which is huge. im glad when i move ill have a very not judgmental person to get it for me#at least my other older sister is very normal abt it. shes like yeha its ur body ur money ur choice. whatever man. and that s great.
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joyousmistake · 7 months
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My gorgeous seaside flat is perfect in every way apart from the damp, persistent weird smells and complete lack of functional heating
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there are bats flying above my house 🥰🥰 i love their little squeeks
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pierregazly · 7 months
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let's show the world ꨄ carlos sainz smau
carlos sainz x wife!reader
warnings: hateful/mean comments, cyberbullying
in which carlos has to make it clear to the world how much his wife means to him, and how strangers on the internet know nothing about them or their relationship.
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f1drivernews
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liked by username, username, username, and 11,209 others
tagged carlossainz55 and yourusername
f1drivernews it appears ferrari driver carlossainz55 and wife yourusername spent the summer break in style, rumours have it that the resort they stayed in ibiza was almost €7500 per person a night. sainz and his wife have been notorious for staying in extravagant hotels and resorts during both summer and winter breaks. the lifestyles of the rich and famous continues!
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username oh the things i would do to be a millionaire
username just be like yourusername and bag yourself a rich husband, constant flow of money lol
username that's a polite way of saying just be a gold-digger and you'll be set babes
username lol the fact b4 he met her carlos used to spend breaks with his fam and friends??? has no one told him how much of a red flag this is???
username girl since when is a driver spending their break with their WIFE a red flag???
username €7500 PER PERSON???? aint no way that was carlos' idea lol what a joke
username i'd be so embarrassed to be yourusername like what does girlypop even do??? other than mooch off her husband ofc
username she's actually very successful in her own line of work? not sure what you're alluding to but yeah
username she could be the top 10% of whatever she does and still not be as successful as carlos, hop off hunni
username guess f1drivernews was too nice to post the hideous closeups of yourusername... girly's not looking too great nowadays poor carlos
carlossainz55 has posted a story
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liked by yourusername, landonorris, username, and others
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landonorris your mrs told me she got a hole in one, how's it feel to suck carlos
yourusername 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
username bet you paid out of your ass for her for this round of golf too smh
username embarrizzing sorrrrryyy carlos
yourusername has posted a story
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liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, landonorris, and others
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carlossainz55 thank you for dinner amor, you spoil me as always
username girl delete this rn this is so embarrassing
username loool ur not fooling anyone sweetie
username red nails for a golddigger? typical babes
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yourusername
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liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, scuderiaferrari, and 2,343 others
tagged carlossainz55
yourusername i'm amazed by you every single day, even more when you come back to our room stinking of champagne 💗
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landonorris no special post for me?? you told me i was ur son the other day and this is the treatment i get ? emancipation right now
landonorris before you say it, i know that's a big word for elmo. thanks.
alexandrasaintmleux im still obsessed with that jacket 🫶🏻
username you looked so pretty this weekend! carlos is so lucky
carlossainz55 always more special when we're both coming back smelling like champagne hermosa
username i think its like so childish u deleted 75% of ur followers like u wanna be in the public eye but dont want what comes with it??? weird but alright
username im so over you honestly carlos deserves better
username ur acc the worst wag like yikes
f1gossip
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liked by username, username, username and 75,903 others
tagged carlossainz55
f1gossip the streets are saying carlos was in suzuka alone this week, his wife of two years yourusername reportedly took a flight home instead of following her husband along to suzuka after the singapore win... trouble in paradise? 👀👀
view all 4,870 comments
username omg it's happening
username FINALLY GOOD RIDDANCE
username my man is back on the market!!!!! time for someone prettier, hotter, better, basically anyone opposite of his wife lol byeeeee
username ur all insane, she has her own job??? she can't follow her husband to every end of the earth
username waiting for the ig stories 'we've decided to split amicably, please allow us privacy'
username LOOOL i bet it's gonna say that word for word!!!! not like we'll see hers tho cause she locked us all out
username this acc made my day ahhhhhhhh
yourusername has posted a story
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carlossainz55 amor what's wrong??
yourusername i just dont understand why people have to be so mean.
landonorris carlando to the rescue dont worry y/n
carlossainz55
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liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 1,399,402 others
tagged yourusername
carlossainz55 this last week has been extra special for me, to know it is the anniversary of the first time i met my best friend, and that she was able to be with me when i lifted the trophy in singapore is a wonderful feeling.
but to see all the ignorant, unkind, and hurtful comments that are regularly directed at my wife has put a negative twirl on this time. my wife, to me, is the most beautiful woman in the world. she is kind, and loving, and has given up the world for me time and time again. no one knows our relationship more than her and i. many of you speak things that are so ignorant and false it is disgusting. if you are one of these people, please know, you are not a fan i find myself caring for.
i beg those who continue to speak poorly of my wife, to think about how your actions can harm others. thank you. and to yourusername, you are the most important light in my life. i cant wait to see you amor.
comments on this post have been limited
landonorris 🧡🧡
charles_leclerc be kind always!
yourusername te amo, always and forever.
carlossainz55 has posted a story
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liked by yourusername, landonorris, username, and 55,399 others
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yourusername i didnt even see you take that photo... ur so cute ily
landonorris tell her i got 50 of the flowers for her
username omg i love that book!!!! y/n has great taste what a queen
username i would die to be ur wife, but i would also die to be y/n's wife so lol
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ahhhh this is the smau part 2 i promised to my last carlos written story! thank you to the lovely person who requested it, i hope it's what you wanted! please let me know what you think, i hope you all loved it 💗
taglist
@leclercdream @myescapefromthislife @princessria127 @iloveyou3000morgan @love4lando @asfaraslifegets @decseptapril @somanyfandomsbruh @fangirl125reader @imagandom @motorsp0rt @jspitwall @sarahedwards16 @glitterf1 @christianpulisic10 @carlandonorri-s @smoothopz @eugene-emt-roe @epitios @ihrtdan @myloverjk-blog @glow-ish @goldenmclaren @mercunty
if your name is bolded/striked tumblr wont allow me to tag you! ive tried multiple things, but it's unfortunately giving me a very hard time with a few people. im so sorry! please let me know if you'd like to be added to the list!!
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galaxysgal · 6 months
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𝐢 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 || 𝐥𝐢𝐩 𝐠𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐫
pairing: lip gallagher x fem!reader
summary: just lip being a cute bf + debbie and ian being little shits
warnings: lowercase on purpose. poorly written tbh. swearing but y’all know how it is. heavily unedited. gen said yolo so i’m posting
A/N: i’ve been on hiatus for god knows how long but my roommate and i started watching shameless and i can’t get this mfer out of my head. things w school and life are hard rn so i just wrote this comfy cozy little thing in my notes app. yolo asf.
wordcount: probably like 500 or less idk i wrote it in my notes app at 1am
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you’re nestled in lip’s arms, high up on his rickety top bunk. somewhere between finishing your nails and kissing until you could barely breathe, you had fallen asleep right against his chest.
you stirred now, your cozy world interrupted a squeaky little voice. “are you in love with her?” debbie questions.
lip shushes his sister, “be quiet, she’s sleeping.”
you were wide awake now, but much too comfortable to move and make that little fact known. plus, you wanted to hear his answer.
“i asked you a question dummy. are you in love with her?”
lip stutters, “i-i dunno. i really like her, okay?”
you’re satisfied with that answer. “in love” was a little too much too quick. but “really like” was something that made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
“what d’ya like about her?” ian presses.
you can practically hear the gears turning in lip’s head as his siblings impatiently await a response.
“she’s- i dunno, she’s pretty?” lip replies. you hold back a scowl, annoyed at him for not having a better answer.
“yeah, great rack,” debbie comments.
“jesus, deb!” lip’s head falls back in frustration, one hand coming to cradle your head as not to wake you with the sudden motion.
“cut the shit lip,” ian interrupts. “tell us what you really think.”
you hold your breath as you wait for his response. his lips brush your hairline before he sighs. “she’s sweet, yeah? real kind.”
“a real woman of the people,” ian snorts, “princess diana type.” then “ow!” as you hear debbie shove him.
“and- and she’s real smart, too,” lip continues. “really, really fuckin’ smart. an’ she works hard. she just tires herself out sometimes.”
he strokes your hair gently, pressing a few more fleeting kisses to your forehead.
“you’re so whipped.”
you hear debbie shove her brother again, and this time ian fights back, the two making a ruckus as they push each other back and forth.
“come on guys, out. now.” lip orders his siblings around with that same stern voice you’ve heard plenty of times before.
debbie pouts. “but-“
“no buts. go on, she’s fuckin’ sleepin’ in here an’ you’re gonna wake her up. fuck off.”
“we were just-“
“fuck. off.”
“jesus,” you can practically hear ian roll his eyes. “alright, alright. we’re going.”
debbie yells for fiona as the two shuffle out of the room, not bothering to close the door behind them.
you smirk to yourself as lip groans above you, showing your cards. “you’re awake?”
you peer up at him through your lashes, a smirk planted on your lips that he’s just dying to kiss off. “can’t believe your little sister said i have a great rack,” you whisper.
lip laughs, loud and genuine. “yeah, she’s been stuffing fi’s old training bras. growin’ up an’ shit. i don’t like it.”
you’re quiet for a moment, admiring him. you know how important those kids are to him. he’d do just about anything for them, including the minor crimes you find him tangled up in on a weekly basis. he loves them like they’re his own kids, which honestly they kind of are. they may shove each other around, curse each other out, yell and scream at the top of their lungs, but at the end of the day lip has been more of a father to his siblings than frank ever was.
“you really meant all that?” you ask.
lip looks down at you, his blue eyes soft in the dim light. “yeah. yeah, i did. meant every word.”
you smile, leaning up to place a solid kiss on his lips. “for what it’s worth,” you murmur, “i really like you too.”
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svnny-day · 2 years
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small vent ig?? don’t read maybe :p
UGH. ok. 
I am. done. doing. the fucking. dishes!!!!!!!
it’s such a hard task/chore for me to get myself to do in all fucking aspects (memory, executive dysfunction, etc.) and unfortunately, i’ve been sleeping literally all day lately for some reason (tbh, it’s probably because i’m really fucking depressed+my sleep schedule sucks, even if I don’t want to admit the latter to myself) and yet, I still try my best to do what I can. 
and what am I fucking told by my mom?
“you don’t do anything ever. you’re home all day by yourself.” 
like??? WoooooooooooooooooooooWWWW!!!!! I never would’ve fuckin known!!! :0 
i’m so fucking sick of it. I do the best I can (even still, it’s miraculous that I can do what i’ve tried, even!) and than I get told that I don’t do anything.
I think I’m going to just stop doing the dishes because if the best I can do isn’t enough, than what’s the fucking point?
it feels a bit better writing stuff out ^^
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n0ct0urn1quet · 2 years
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pov talking shit abt my sister in vc when my door is ever so slightly open and she probably heard me so now im all embarrassed to go out into the living room out of fear that she'll be like "so what were u talking about in there"
#i want to move out so bad !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate it here#peppr i kno ur gonna b online in 2 seconds i am having thoughts and i WILL make a gaypos in a second im just ohgh. OUghhg!#thers a lot of things i did not say in the vc but only because if i said too much my sister 100% woulda came i n n said something but'#anyways i just . oh i am so frustrated. its not kyle he isnt doing anything its just theres people in my House at all Times Now#and after living on our own for over a year my mom n i were used to it just being me n her and me being home alone all the time#but now theres people here and its genuinely fuicking with my mental state!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#its stressful. its just very very stressful#genuinely i kind of want to come n visit u just for a chance to get out of the hosue i Never Leave The House Anymore Ever#but like kitty seems to be doing . better. kitten's still a bitch n he hisses at kitty a lot but kitty seems to be doing alrite which#makes me feel moer comfy about coming to potentially see u sometime but idk it all depends on my mom and....#its. expensive! we may not be able to rly afford it honestly. but my moms making plans t go visit my brother like This Week so idk#maybe something could work out . but idk man#my mom has been moody late ly bc of rob and also because of russ (shes talking to him aain. i dont know why but i can tell that he#has a completely negative affect on her so idk why she's still trying to fucking make things work out. bc its not gonna fucking work out)#but its just . yeah. moms in a bad mood all the time and i dont think shes' gotten more than like3 hours of sleep a night so. great!#thank you robynne for making us go practically fucking broke i hope you move out soon but i fully expect you to be here til next summer.#fucking grow up lmao#anyways! sure hope she doesnt see this but if she does like the last vent i made about her on my other tumblr a few years back : sorry !#anyways im gonna gaypos now <3 i prommy im in a good mood rn i am just . oh she is just frustrating i want to move out SO bad
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sixstepsaway · 6 months
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so here's the thing
i've seen a bunch of people say on twitter and stuff how... ed's behavior is very abusive and his anger is dangerous and he isn't romantic lead material because of it
and i get where they're coming from
but to me the main issue isn't putting ed in the position of a romantic lead, but not crafting the narrative around his characterization so that it allows for a spicy romantic pirates-in-love narrative instead of...whatever this is.
i'm going to try and explain this. idk if i'll do well but i'll try
the way she show presents stede is as an innocent baby who isn't really equipped for pirate life. he goes into a fugue/disassociative state whenever there's any real violence, apparently, and needs protecting by other characters when things get too rough - for example when ed is telling ned lowe not to take the poker to stede.
that's fine! it's honestly adorable to see a masc character being so soft around the edges and being protected by other characters this way.
(i'm not going to touch on stede's... eh... not great characterization this season rn)
then there's izzy, who is shown as a bit violent, a bit rough around the edges. he's more likely to draw a sword or throw a punch or hit someone with a chair or take a punch like a champ. violence is just part of life for him and that's okay, it just Is, from small things like smacking stede on the ass to bigger things like being wall slammed, it's not all that big or bad for violence to happen around and with him, he tends to give as good as he gets (there's some nuance here but i'm talking the macro themes not the micro of what izzy does vs is done to him)
and finally there's ed
ed is presented as violent (stabbing knives at guys, telling fang to use the snail fork etc) and used to a life of violence, and then in season 2 he's presented as really violent, his anger coming out in dangerous and terrifying ways
and frankly, i'd be super into it if he and izzy were the main ship and that twisted dynamic from the first two episodes of s2 was explored and fleshed out into something deeper
friends to enemies to lovers who fight and fuck. angry pirates who lay hands on each other, who break the whole ship with each other in the heat of passion.
except instead, s2 gives us... abuse. it gives us izzy cringing and lowering his head and trying to protect the kids crew from ed's angry outbursts.
so when stede comes back and he's still soft around the edges and ed headbutts him and it's deliberate, it's... not a great look, and the vibes are a bit skewed
if stede fought back, if when ed struck out at him he struck back, if they fought rather than it being one-sided, if it was friends to enemies to lovers and not presented as healthy, but maybe they can work their way there, who knows, maybe even more like anne bonnie and mary read because hey, they were doing something very similar?
except they were both into it. they were both enjoying the fighting and the fucking and the burning down the house.
stede's not enjoying it.
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i cannot describe how much i hate this sequence just because of the way stede flinches
anne and mary don't!! mary jumps at the unexpected bang but she doesnt flinch, she doesn't cover her face like she thinks the vase will be coming for her not the wall and anne? looks so into it
and the thing is that in real life, no, you don't want to date someone who throws shit around, or headbutts you
but in fiction when it's two fucked up people doing this shit together like anne and mary?
that can be fun.
but instead what we've been given is stede flinching and apologizing to ed and then all of ed's...what, semi-redemption???? is done away from the other collection of people he abused, and then he spends some time on a fishing boat wearing a dog collar and everything is fine because he's good now and won't be doing anything bad ever again
and it's just... poor writing. the vibes are rancid.
i spent a really big chunk of time between s1 and s2 defending ed. i kept saying how what he did to izzy by making him eat his toe wasn't abuse, it was a one-off and abuse isn't a one-off thing it's a pattern, and then s2 made it a pattern.
explicitly. explicitly a pattern.
not just one toe but three.
jim saying "you're in an unhealthy relationship with blackbeard"
and all ed offered izzy was a "sorry about your leg" which might've been fine if izzy survived and they could work on this more, but instead that's all the apology and closure izzy will ever get
ed threw a chair and a vase and made stede flinch in fear and stede was right to do that. what part of any of this implies this will never happen again? that stede won't press the wrong button at some point and be on the receiving end? none of it
and if we'd been presented with a s2 stede bonnet who could handle himself and stand up for himself and fight back, then maybe i could imagine that turning into a weird sexy fucked up anne/mary like thing and maybe that could be why they put that episode in, but instead it feels like that episode was going, "look, see, ed's violence is fine because these two are fine with it with each other"
but stede isn't
ed and izzy or ed and stede in an unhealthy battle of a relationship could be such a fun, interesting and downright sexy thing to watch unfold on tv, and could honestly end somewhere far more down the chill end of the spectrum, but that's not what we've been given here
i cannot argue that ed isn't an abuser anymore, and not just of izzy but of the whole crew. he terrified frenchie.
it's not good writing to try and lean into the idea that ed and the pirates are violent and live a life of violence, so it's okay that ed's been violent, while simultaneously presenting his violence as traumatic and abusive, and then less than three episodes later saying oh it's fine now, he's just a little meow meow who can do no wrong, see?
especially considering they had him murdering people at the end of the season. and sure, you can say the english are just cannon fodder and they dont 'count', but they did before. ed explicitly did not kill before, and that included the english, or the spanish, or anyone else. so either they count or they don't, but flipping him on a dime makes no sense.
ALSO
having ed be the son of an abusive man who threw plates at his mother and made her cringe and then having ed kill his father to protect his mother and then a season later having ed become the kind of man who throws chairs and vases and makes his love interest cringe is, again, not bloody optimal
i want to say again i dont CARE about tv always presenting healthy relationships or tv always giving us aspirational goals. i want messy fucked up dynamics and terrible people making terrible choices, and still, to this day, i fucking love ed teach. i would honestly love to have seen them continue with ed's darkness and bring stede into it and see where they went with that, to have stede kill ned lowe and not just bury his feelings in ed but get off on it, enjoy the violence, and see where that led, but no
and so instead all we end up with is a protagonist who is being set up for a lifetime of abuse from an intimate partner, and a romantic lead who abuses his love interests (and yes. izzy is a love interest, he is set up like one and positioned like one and treated like one), frightens his love interests with his violence, is erratic and most of all inconsistently written. he was so sorry about scaring fang as though he hadn't been deliberately terrifying the whole crew for fuck knows how long? what?!
the whole fandom has spent so long saying, "no no, i know stede bonnet irl was a slave owner, but ofmd is using the names and not any real piracy, it's more disney piracy, you know? so that kind of stuff doesnt exist!" and then they flipped around and went "blackbeard is blackbeard and so he is evil and does all these horrible things" and i dont know how to rationalize the two sides of that because it feels so out of place
i'm getting rambly, this isnt a particularly well constructed thought process, i just feel like we were robbed both of a toxic, violent relationship that could be fun to see explored on tv and a soft and sweet love story between two middle aged men exploring their first loves in one fell swoop and there's no way for s3 to bring either of those things back because they got utterly torpedoed by making ed a horrible person
ugh
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