#this chart screams to me to play more games always but also genuinely they are all characters i really enjoy. ignore that i

[tobi-momo]

You Belong With Me

PAIRING: Tsukishima Kei x Reader GENRE: Romance | Fluff | Angst (?) | Comfort (?) | Mutual Pining | Slowburn | Confession WARNINGS: tsukki has a toxic gf | cursing | ooc? | implied infidelity (not you or kei) | prolly more sry WORD COUNT: 2k A/N: this fic is HEAVILY based off of You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift- if you've seen the music video this is like it but my way 😌 uhh i hope you like it <3 oh also pls don't cringe it'll hurt my feelings

“What was she so mad about?” Your voice bleeds through his phone as he scribbles on his homework with his number two pencil, sighing at your question. He looks up briefly to his window to see you at your desk across your two properties’ filing the papers for your math class, organizing your work. Your phone is sandwiched between your shoulder and your ear, your eyes narrowed as you focus on what assignments are what.

“Kei?”

He shakes his head as his mind snaps out of the daze, his golden eyes flicking down to his work. “Uh,” he sighs as he re-grips his pencil, “I teased her a little bit and she got mad,” he finished. You chuckled before covering your mouth with your hand, finally looking up at the man through your clear panes.

“You’re kidding,” you giggle, a smile leading onto Kei’s face while he listens to your voice, although refusing to look up at your face, he shakes his head in a joking dismissal.

“No, I’m not. But we are never mentioning it again.”

“Oh, good luck getting me to keep quiet!” You shout as your back straightens against your desk chair, a smug look playing on your face once the blond male looks up at you.

He stands up, a reciprocating smirk laying on his lips before he says, “You will,” before he takes his phone away from his ear, pressing the “hang up” button and raising his arm to close the drapes. You laugh with satisfaction while you exit his contact, turning on some music and tossing your phone on your bed before cleaning up your area and strumming your fingers like an imaginary guitar.

He opened his curtains expecting to see you sulking while doing your work, only to see you dance like an idiot while you blast your music, your pencils acting as a microphone as you perform your concert in front of your stuffed animals. He could hear the music from across the yard, him identifying it as your shared playlist that you two made a couple years back, the duration over fifteen hours as about three-hundred songs reside. An accidental chuckle escaped him as his eyes rested on your jumping figure for just a couple seconds. It was for entertainment. Yeah. That’s it.

~.~.~.~

Sticking your fabric marker on the construction paper, you write out your message to Kei.

“I love you”. It was a message that would tell him that he deserves the best and nothing less. It was something that you treasured and wanted to share that value with him. Something that told him that he belonged with you.

You hoped that one day you’d be able to give it to him, to tell him how you really feel, to show that you can do a better job than her, but you never got the chance. Carrying the folded slip in your pocket, ready to pull out, his phone rings. As you sit on the bench on the side of the road, you wonder how long it had been since you had seen him really smile. You had made him smile a lot before, even if he doesn’t smile a lot genuinely, there are some times where real happiness seeps through his facade. You like it when that happens, always have. You noticed how much his happiness had reduced over the course of these last few months, though.

He answers the phone very monotone, very uninterested. He sounded obligated while he spoke to his girlfriend, sighing sharply once he hung up.

“What was that about?”

“Just drama. Kind of sick of it at this point.” He sticks his phone in his pocket, looking over to your concerned expression. “It’s nothing to worry about,” he says while rolling his eyes, placing a soft hand on your head and letting it rest. His hand retracted quickly when the sound of his name rings through his ears, his head whipping towards his girlfriend's figure. He readjusts his glasses, sitting straight up and swinging the strap of his school bag over his shoulder before he gets up and sluggishly walks across the street, meeting up with the one he was set to have a date with later. He subtly waved to you prior to turning his head away and continuing his stroll with his date hanging on his arm. You ignore the glare served your way when you wave back to him, forgetting the multiple reasons of why you wanted him away from her so he can enjoy his date. Hopefully.

~.~.~.~

As you stand on the bleachers of Kei’s game, you watch him stride over the court and jump to block the ball, a playful smirk residing on his lips as he sends the ball to the other side. You clap for him, shouting praises his way in hopes he might hear you over everyone else. Especially her. The screaming and unnecessary noise making your ears bleed a bit. You didn’t mean to be irritated by it, but the pulse on your forehead and the grit of your teeth made it painfully obvious you didn’t really like her.

When the end of the game hit, you were overloaded with joy at Kei’s victory. You hurriedly make your way over to him before gripping him tightly in a hug, not caring about the sweat that drips off his body. You could feel his arms flex as he raised his arms to hesitantly reciprocate your actions until his arms completely dropped, his body stiff.

“What the hell?” He muttered under his breath as he firmly moved you aside to walk away. Following after him, you let your head peek out from the side of his back, watching it all occur in front of you. “What’s this?”

“What? Nothing, Kei,” she mewls, setting her hands on her boyfriend’s shirt as if she thought he was silly.

“Yeah, we were just, uh, talkin’.” The man before her fibs.

“Not according to what I just saw,” Kei accuses the two with a furrowed brow, fed up. You come out from behind him, glaring at his girlfriend in hate. This was it.

“Don’t worry about it, man,” the man dismisses, turning to keep the conversation with her going.

Stepping forward, you place an arm in front of Kei, stopping his movements as you eye his girlfriend. “Tell me you were not just flirting with this man and we’ll leave.”

“I wasn-”

“Don't,” you pause, taking a deep breath as you watch her take a step back, “don’t lie to me, or you will regret it,” you threaten, a sharp glint in your eye telling her that you are oh so serious about this. Behind you, Kei watches as you make his girlfriend stammer on her words, a subconscious smile leaking on his face.

She stomps away with anger, the man beside her moving away as well, scoffing.

~.~.~.~

He didn’t say much on the way home; you trailed behind him as he walked away in part anger and denial. You didn’t really know what to say. Should you go back and find the girl and beat some sense into her? Should you give some words of the wise to Kei? Would he even take it?

As you watch him slow down to match your pace, you grow confused. You were headed to your place, so why was he suddenly following? “Kei?” He hums in response, his head hanging low. “Would you like to stay at my place? I can make coffee and we can stay up shit-talking our least favorite people,” you giggle and softly bump into his side, a stifled chuckle escaping him.

“Whatever,” he mumbles with an obvious smile as he continues to walk with you. When you quietly shut the door and take your shoes off, you softly tread to the kitchen to turn on the coffee machine- the man that you took home followed, his arm planting on the marble counter as his eyes trail over your moving figure.

As you sit on the stool next to him beside your kitchen island, you converse about the drama he’s been scooped in, him rolling his eyes twice a minute and his irritation level going off the charts as he recalls the events. He hated it, you could tell. He made it pretty obvious he wasn’t happy about it, too.

“Are you still going to the dance with her tomorrow then?” You speak curiously, twirling your fingers around each other while staring blankly into the marble as you awkwardly sit there, awaiting an answer.

It takes him a second to respond, a long sigh and a deep thought coming into play in his mind once he looks over to your spaced expression. Does he really want to go? Did he want to go with her, or with someone else- you? “Probably.”

Oh. “Are you sure you wanna do that? After what happened today?”

“Why not. Nothing better to do,” he justifies, shrugging. Yeah, you probably should have seen that coming.

The note that resided in your pocket seemed to crumple a little bit when you came to terms with the fact that he may never notice you the way you wanted him to.

~.~.~.~

“Are you going?” Kei asks over his phone as he takes his suit out of his closet.

“Ah, no,” you breathe out as guilt pools in your stomach, your elbow balancing sitting on your desk while dozing off into something that is not mathematical equations.

“Oh,” is all he says before telling you he needed to get ready, giving his goodbye.

After the call ends, you see the light fading away from his room as he closes the drapes, giving you a sign to start working again. You wondered what would happen if you possibly showed up. You originally were going to go, but the date that canceled soon beforehand gave your mind a gentle squeeze, telling you that the dance wasn’t for you. Still, the tiniest urge told you to make an appearance. You groan in waver, giving in.

~.~.~.~

You felt good. You felt really good. Wearing your planned outfit to this dance, you make your way inside carefully, minding the crowd. You catch the eye of the one girl that you held a grudge against, watching her grope another man on the dance floor. You roll your eyes in disgust as you move your head around to find a tall blond in the crowd. He leaned against the wall across from you his arms crossed while his dilated pupils trace the light that bounces off the floor.

“Hey,” you greet him, his attention whipping to you as he raises his head.

“Hi,” he reluctantly answers you while standing straight up, a relieved smirk leading onto his lips. “I thought you weren’t coming.”

“I didn’t want to put my outfit to waste,” you smile, spreading your arms to show your attire.

“Yeah, well you came at perfect timing,” he points towards his girlfriend which you identified earlier, although he seemed like he didn’t care all that much.

Gripping the folded paper in your pocket, you slip it out with two fingers confidently. “I have something to tell you,” you admit, your eyes staying centered on his black suit.

“Go on,” he eggs, hands staying at the side of his body while he watches you fluster yourself. It takes you less than a second to shove the note in his stomach and turn around, your face turning hotter and hotter every moment. Your hands lay against your cheeks as your nerves rattle beneath your skin, your ears tingling when you hear a sweet chuckle glide against his lips. “You should have told me a long time ago, Y/n. I wouldn’t have to deal with,” his eyebrows turn up as his head tips towards the dancing figure just a couple of feet away from you guys, “...that.”

You turn around slowly, disbelief covering your face when you look at his smug expression. “Are you kidding me? You’re telling me this,” you gesture at the both of you with your pointer finger, “could have been something a long time ago?”

He sucks in through his teeth, taking a grip on your arm and pulling you with him as he walks through the crowd to the middle of the room. “Yep. Guess you missed out.”

“Says you,” you roll your eyes with attitude as you pick up your pace and place your hand in his.

He knew he belonged with you, he was just wondering when you would admit that.

aaa here it is! three days of work! sry i havent been posting lately ive been working <3 (reupload bc tumblrs a little bitch)

REQUESTS: OPEN

reblogs are VERY appreciated!

[devilinsheepswool]

When MC first arrives at Devildom they warn Lucifer that the only way to keep them in line is by providing them with incentives, and that he will be wise to heed their warning because they tend to go a bit wild if not kept in check.

They warn Lucifer that punishments will not work, they will only accomplish the opposite because they will make MC want to retaliate. Out of curiosity Lucifer asks what kind of incentives; Grimm, food, clothes, jewels, merchandise, books, free passes from chores and other obligations, all things his brothers treasure.

MC responds with a simple shake of the head, they're much easier than that and with a small smile they reply.

"Gold Stars."

Lucifer intially believes they mean actual gold stars, he doesn't understand how that's any easier, in fact it seems very in line with what Mammon would ask for. He's about to call them insane but MC notices the look of disbelief on his face, their add on comes in late.

"Stickers, I mean." MC clarifies.

"What?" Lucifer asks.

"Gold star stickers. It's how my friends and loved ones get me to behave." MC explains. "I get a gold sticker for every time I do something good or helpful, and an even bigger sticker for whenever I hold back on doing something impulsive or 'dumb'." They continue to explain. "The small stars are worth 1 point and the big ones are worth 3."

"You're kidding, MC." Lucifer deadpans. "Isn't this what a teacher would use on a child?"

"I'm really not, it works on me too. I need consistency and to feel like I'm working up towards something rewarding in order to actual do anything."

"Rewarding, how?"

"I'm glad you asked. Remember how I said that the normal stars are worth 1 point and the big ones worth 3? Well, by the end of the week if I've acquired at least 30 to 40 I get treated to an ice cream sundae on Sunday, I can only get 5 small stars per day with the exception of a big star every now and then. If I go over 30 or 40 I get extra toppings."

"That seems oddly simple." Lucifer states still looking MC up and down quizzically.

"It is!" MC exclaims pulling out a chart from behind their back. A chart large enough to fit multiple stickers on it, the chart is divided into six sections: Monday through Saturday. "Here." They hand him the chart. "You're in charge of stickers."

Dumbfounded, Lucifer takes the chart sheet in his hands. He has the passing thought 'if only my brothers were this easy.' Before dismissing it completely, knowing that there are easier things wished for.

"This will ensure you behave?" He asks once more for clarification.

MC only simply nods.

"You put it up there." MC continued pointing to the refrigerator. "so that everyone sees and I feel a sense of accomplishment."

"Are you sure you want it up there?" He asks tiredly. "Won't the others tease you?"

"Yeah, probably." MC answers matter o factly. "But you won't be buying them a fancy Sundae at the end of the week, or will you?"

"So, now I'm the one buying you ice cream? When did we agree to this?"

"I mean... I thought that was implied by you being my assigned sticker giver. Besides it's a small price to pay for my good behavior, don't you think?"

"Are you threatening me?" He asks looking up at them with a quirked eyebrow, even if so it's not like they're asking for much. He wishes his brothers asked only for the same to ensure their well behavior... but unfortunately life is not that easy.

"No." They answer with such genuinety that he almost thinks they're messing with him. "I'm just trying to make life easier for the both of us; the idea is to ease me into a new environment and eventually I won't need the stars anymore to ensure I behave. If I don't maintain consistency I let my environments shape me and that's not always a good thing but like this I keep myself in line regardless of my new environment."

"Very well, all be it for my peace of mind." Lucifer sighs pinning up the laminated sheet on the fridge.

At first the brothers do tease MC about it, but MC doesn't really seem to care all that much as they do their chores happily with the promise of ice cream in mind. Eventually the teasing stops, after all, how fun is it to tease someone who doesn't really care?

But it starts with Beel noticing, MC gets treated to a sundae from Madam Screams every Sunday that leaves him watering at the mouth. Well, now Beel wants in on the action. He asks Lucifer to do the same for him.

Lucifer doesn't really care, Beel is probably one of the most well behaved of his brothers save for when he goes on his hunger rampages or acts out because of food. He doesn't think much and accepts to do the same for Beel upon his request.

Now it's not just MC and Lucifer going out very Sunday to Madam Screams but also Beel and the fact that they're all going out in a group makes it feel somewhat exclusive... that mixed with the fact that MC has to separate from Mammon every Sundaybto go pick up their Sundae and we all know how much Mammon hates being apart from MC add into Mammon demanding that Lucifer do that same for him.

Things have just become interesting. Mammon is the brother that needs this the most in Lucifer's eyes but he doubts his brother can completely behave, regardless he doesn't stop his brother from trying after all it's to his own benefit (Lucifer's) maybe now he'll be able to get some more work and rest in.

Well the said is done, it doesn't completely work but he has noticed Mammon behaving a lot more than he usually did. Not to add that he's gotten competitive with the other two about who can earn more toppings on their sundae than the rest... even if he ends up losing every time.

Asmo is the third to fall into the trend. After all, a Sundae by Lucifer's treat and by side MC!? What could possibly be better!? Besides the game looks really fun, and now Asmo is eager to join in on the fun.

It's not like Asmo is ill behaved or boisterous in any way, so he doesn't have to make much of an effort but some times he will slip up and it's only then that he makes an effort.

Levi is the fourth to fall into this game. As always it's his envy that causes him to get involved in MC's and his brothers game, and who can blame him? I mean who likes feeling left out, right?

The following Monday during dinner he starts to pout and complain about how he isn't being included in the most indirect round about way.

"After all what did I expect, it's not like you guys would include me in your game..."

"It's not a game Levi, MC and the others have to earn their ice-cream." Lucifer clarifies putting down his eating utensils.

"You don't have to lie to me, Lucifer." Levi pouts. "Its not like I want to be included in that normie game you guys are playing anyway!"

Lucifer lets out a tired breath as he asks himself whether he really wants to deal with this right now... well, the answer is that he doesn't but he isn't going to leave his brother sulking about not being included, after all, it'll only get worse the longer he leaves him sulking.

And just like that Levi's in.

Those left are Satan and Belphegor and, of course, he doesn't expect either to willingly participate. I mean they won't obey him or behave on a regular basis, in fact it's the complete opposite; they usually go out of their way to make his life harder, so why would they participate in a game that requires them to do something that is supposed to make his life easier?

He won't bother with them, after all, he's far too busy with the work he has from Diavolo as of lately.

But then Satan surprises him by announcing that he to will join this game. Of course, Lucifer is suspicious of Satan's intentions after all why would he willingly chose to make Lucifer's life much easier?

Satan claims he just wants to feel involved, and since everyone is already doing it he might as well too.

Lucifer's on guard with Satan, he's trying to figure out what he's scheming but Satan genuinely seems to be doing what he should.

Still, Lucifer can't help but check his drawers and closet when he finds Satan leaving his room after having claimed that he was only sorting the clean laundry to its appropriate places, and he can't help not double checking his drinks, or looking over his things when Satan brings them to him.

Satan is behaving and he takes pleasure in how uneasy that makes Lucifer. The look on Lucider's face whenever Satan does something good or helpful with a smile and nothing more is priceless. Of course, it's not like Satan is going to let Lucifer get to comfortable. If Lucifer does get too comfortable Satan won't have any trouble playing a small and subtle prank on Lucifer to keep him on his toes.

Not to add that Satan does cheat regularly when participating in the game, usually playing Mammon out of his points or taking credit for his work, or using Mammon in order to enact his pranks on Lucifer so they won't get traced back to him... yep, poor Mammon.

Lastly, is Belphie. He shows the most resistance to the game, it takes to much energy and effort neither of which he cares to spare on a silly game.

But as much as he hates to admit it. He hates waking up to an empty house on Sunday; there's no Beel or MC to greet him and the fact that everyone else is also playing along with the game makes him feel excluded. It's not bad enough that he was locked up in the attic for the longest time and only came back after all the other brothers had already formed bonds with MC but even now they get to spend more time with them all because of that dumb game.

So in the end, as reluctant as he might be he announces in the most nonchalant and anticlimactic way that he too will participate in the dumb game.

Much like Satan, he'll either mooch of Mammon's points or use Mammon to get out of trouble for certain things. He'll petition Lucifer about being able to share points with either Beel or MC because that chore was a "combined effort".

In the end all the brothers end up participating, it doesn't 100% solve the occasional behavioral problems and shenanigans that occur within the house of lamentation but it does help placate them if even by a small percentage.

And it's only when he gets to sit down and breathe after a long day of paperwork and meetings that Lucifer notices what a good influence MC has been on his brothers.

Of course, by this point MC no longer needs the gold star sticker system to keep in line but at this point they don't have the heart to end the game... not when everyone has come to have fun with it so much.

[olivetreehugger]

SnK Scouts/Veterans as Health Care Workers

Note: features Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Levi, Erwin and Hange. A part two to my “SnK Warriors as HCWs” post found here. warning: mentions of blood, trauma, gore (it’s healthcare). Also, I know Hange is nb, I headcanon them as female, so I will be using she/her pronouns. 

Eren: this boy is definitely too involved in everything and has too many people depending on him at once to not be a nurse. The kid barely passed the NCLEX but that didn’t stop him from applying to every trauma center within a 25 mile radius of him. He got hired as a night shift trauma ICU nurse  and he frequently picks up shifts in the ER. He wears the cheapest scrubs he can find, often stained with ink in the pockets area. He isn’t a shitty nurse per se but there are tasks that still need to be done at the end of his shift and he gives a crappy report that’s missing too many details. Nurses hate picking up his patients, it’s always a mess. His charting is really spotty and he gets called into the manager’s office all the time to fix it. 

Still, he tries really hard to improve his time management and skills. He wants to be like his friends Mikasa and Reiner, who are the best nurses he knows. He wants to be involved in the traumatic cases and emergencies because he wants to learn as much as he possibly can. He’s really good at wound care, for some reason (hint hint). He’s kinda cocky sometimes too, which can be troublesome when Dr. Galliard is working. People know to steer clear of those two when they’re both  in the ER. Also, Eren always has a black cloud around him; whenever he works it’s gonna be a hella busy day in the hospital. Lots of emergency surgeries, intubations, codes and deaths. He’ll always jump in to help you if your patient is crashing, though, no matter how busy he is. 

Mikasa: she’s a prodigy. She was a straight ‘A’ student in nursing school, got a perfect 75 on the NCLEX and was immediately hired to the trauma ICU after doing a short internship there. She worked night shift for a year but her sleep schedule was so so fucked she started having night terrors, so she switched to day shift. Eren still calls her a traitor for it :/. She keeps trying to get him to switch over but he just hisses at her and threatens to chug a case of Monster energy drinks. She hasn’t given upon him yet, though.

This girl’s work ethic is beyond measure. She comes in exactly at 6:30 am, looks up her patients, takes report, gives a great update to the doctors when they round, and provides impeccable care to her patients. She knows exactly which treatments the doctors will order before they even speak. She’s incredible at inserting IVs--everyone in the hospital knows Mikasa Ackerman can put an 18g in a 90  yr old lady’s arm AND get blood return (just trust me, it’s flipping impossible). She has great skill when it comes to emergency situations and is a big believer in team work. If she notices your patient’s crashing and you don’t know what to do, she’ll calmly coach you and save your patient, too. All before lunch time. 

It doesn’t take Mikasa long to be promoted to charge nurse. When she’s in charge all the reports, paperwork and audits are completed before shift change. She divides the patient assignments really well and is very fair to the new grads. All around she’s an incredible nurse and leader on her unit, but don’t be fooled. If it’s been a rough day, Mikasa will get in her car and sob so loud her throat goes raw. A lot of people depend on her and working in a trauma ICU is really, really demanding. A lot of patients are demanding, rude and busy. She has a lot of trouble with stress management and is thinking of cutting her hours down so she can catch a break. Someone please hug her <3

Armin: for some reason my brain is just SCREAMING respiratory therapist. Like, I imagine this beautiful blond boy in gray scrubs (the color for RT’s in my hospital) going around helping intubate patients, giving nebulizer treatments and doing blood gases. I can just see him huffing and puffing when the attending doctor is overzealous about weaning vent support. -“Why are we changing the patient to pressure support? do you see how tachypneic he is on volume control?”

-“are you gonna put in the order? if not, your patient’s gonna be on PRVC all day, I’m not changing it without an order”

-“Doc, the patient looks like crap and their blood gas looks like death...oh, you still wanna extubate? ok, well I’m gonna leave the ventilator in here just in case. better yet, let me call a pastor in here, too.”

This kid is sassy af and he knows it. He’s smart af too, knows everything there is to know about the lungs and respiratory care. Knows every ventilator mode better than most doctors. Will certainly tell a resident off for ordering the wrong type of inhaler for a patient. He’s so damn intelligent that he even made the ice queen Annie melt like a popsicle. 

 He has no chill when it comes to his patients and even less chill (like -4078875874670) when a doctor gets in his way. For this reason, Armin has recently been toying with the idea of going to PA school so he can have a little more autonomy. He works al over the hospital, usually frequenting the trauma, CV, and medical ICU. The nurses there love him. 

Jean: Jeannie boy. Baby. Sweetie. He’s also a nurse. He is strictly dayshift and trauma. When he first started, he thought he’d do a year in the ICU and then go to CRNA school. He didn’t want to be around sickly patients with hopes and dreams and fears--it was too icky for him. But, over time, he learned that he LOVED trauma. Jean loves the controlled chaos that comes with the ugly, bloody messes that roll in through the ICU’s doors. He always gears up for trauma season (summer time) by bringing Dunkin Donuts iced coffee for everyone on the unit (day and night shift because he’s a supportive king). He gets really good at dealing with arrogant trauma residents and ortho docs who think they’re hot shit. When Jean sees a resident yelling at a nurse, he jumps in and threatens to have their license revoked. He will dig under their skin and page them incessantly throughout the day, too, just to get back at them. Jean is not a fan of lateral violence in the workplace, no sir. 

He always, always makes sure every room is stocked and new bags are hanging for the next shift. He has a thing where if things aren’t properly organized on the unit his brain just spazzes. He’s on the unit council and education committee because he also loves to teach the new grads. He also doubles as charge nurse, when management can’t be there (there can be one or more charge nurses amongst the staff, they usually work different days, though) He and Mikasa work so well together, teaming up to get tasks done, coding patients, running them down to get scanned, etc. People joke they’re the mom and dad of the unit. It makes them both blush <3 (Eren doesn’t like it, lol)

Jean loves to see patients healing from horrendous injuries, he’s constantly cracking jokes with the awake patients to try to make them feel better, and he’s really good at calming anxious family members down. Our boy just makes such good connections with people. He’s the guy you call when your confused patient is one second away from ripping his breathing tube out. He can convince the most restless, agitated patient to chill out. He’s got the voice for it. Also people love his mullet. It looks great. 

Connie: I really didn’t know at first but I feel like Connie would make a great physical therapist. He’s got great energy, he’s funny and I could see him dancing to Earth, Wind & Fire in front of his patients to hype them up for therapy. He’d be very sweet with them 

Sasha: I’m sick and tired of the food jokes, quite honestly. She’s more than that. In my mind, she’s an occupational therapist, helping disabled patients learn to feed, dress and clean themselves again. She works directly with Connie as they round on all their patients in the hospital, they make a great team!  She’s extremely patient and would make a very good nurse, but is unsure of where life is taking her. That is until she meets Niccolo the dietician in the cafeteria, and she falls hard. He encourages her to follow her heart and she does!  

Levi: Hm. This one stumped me. Levi is a bit...cold. It’s not like he has incredible social skills. He’s meticulous and focused and kinda mean? He reminds me of an anesthesiologist, tbh. Like he’ll sedate the shit outta you for surgery, makes sure you don’t die on the table, and then drops you off to the unit as fast as he can. He never takes off his mask while in the hospital and he scrubs maybe four times before surgery. He is very good at medication calculations and knows everything about nerve blocks, intubation, pain medication and sedation. He can look at a person and just KNOW what kind of sedative to give and how much. Your blood pressure will never bottom out while he’s there, he’ll warn the surgeon and immediately get that norepinephrine started.

 If Zeke is the one operating, Levi is on his ass to finish up the surgery ASAP and to not linger, because Zeke takes his time and ignores the tele monitor alarming in the background. After surgery, this 5′2 demon will scream at the 6′ resident about the importance of blood pressure management and sedation in neurosurgical patients. Levi plays no games and he also just really hates Zeke lol

He seems like a jerk but genuinely cares about getting his peeps through surgery. His favorite surgeon to work with is Hange Zoe, because she’s brilliant and fast, but also cognizant of her patient’s hemodynamics. Levi likes taking trauma cases as long as it’s with her. When he drops a patient off to the trauma ICU or goes there to intubate, he makes sure Jean or Mikasa are there because he knows everything is gonna go smoothly. He trusts them a lot. He likes Armin, too and even let him intubate a few times. On his breaks, he’s drinking tea and reading a Williams & Sonoma catalog or scrolling through cleaning Tik Tok lol.

Erwin: This man. This beautiful and hunky beefcake. Omg. I HC him as someone who went to nursing school, became a charge nurse on the trauma unit back in the early 2000′s and fell in love with it. Erwin would eventually fall in love with leadership and educating, too. He went back to school and earned his Doctorate of Nursing Practice (a practice doctorate). He managed the trauma unit for ten years before his brilliant leadership skills and wicked smart brain got him elected as the Director of Trauma Surgery recently. He is the first person with a nursing degree and DNP to ever accomplish this, so it’s very controversial. A lot of toxic doctors threaten to leave the hospital for this (because they’re assholes), but Erwin threatens to fire them in response and it usually shuts them up. 

He often holds lectures in the hospital auditorium. With a mind and voice like his, people are so drawn in by him. He advocates for nursing staff, for reimbursement when continuing their education, better staffing, parking, etc. He makes nice with doctors and gets them to sign petitions for the nurses to get these things. He’s a bit manipulative He’s also a fantastic manager and director, he’s really good at negotiating things. The nurses and residents all love him because he rounds on every ICU frequently, brings food, and asks them how he can help. He can be a bit daunting because of his height and deep voice but once he starts talking to you, you just get sucked in. All around an absolute king. 

Hange: This character reminds me of a trauma surgeon and intensivist (ICU doctor) we have, Dr. Omi. A great surgeon, really really smart, but takes absolutely NO bullshit. She will yell at you if you freeze during intubating. She wants you to recite every step before you take it, otherwise she’ll take the tube from you and do it herself. In surgery, she’s the same way. She wants you to learn, but by her standards. If she asks a question, you better know the answer or fess up right away, she doesn’t like the “uhms” of uncertainty as you try to search for a shitty response. Either you know it or you don’t. And if you don’t, she’ll teach you. Yeah she can be rough around the edges, but she’s got a big heart. She loves her trauma team. She buys them breakfast and gives them funny personalized gifts. One time, she bought an apply tree for Mikasa and brought it to her car at the end of a shift. Mikasa forgot to plant it and it died in her backseat. Hange will sometimes ask, “Mikasa, how’s your apple tree growing?” and Mikasa will lie through her teeth. “It’s growing!” Fess up, Mikasa. Those google search apple trees are starting to look familiar.

All around Hange loves to work and teach. She is a wonderful trauma surgeon and has saved tons of lives.  

[nyaitsu-writes]

what. hokuto and zhongli. what. i just woke up and i cannot process this information properly

the dango anon was too stunned to speak

and yes aaaaaa i play hypmic and was shocked when i learned about leo and samatoki has the same va… i like samatoki he’s giving me a girlboss vibes LMAOAOAOAOAOOOO his songs are giving me the urge to fistfight god and leo has a cutie vibe, like he’s cute but he can commit manslaughter.

and aaa 2wink x crazyb is making me curious about what kind of music would they make. but i’m excited. it’s nice to see himeru again 🏃🏻‍♀️ aaaand ryuseitai and knights!! my two favorite in one song! but my phone is going to explode because … 10 people… in my screen…

BAHAJSJSHWHJWJWJS WAIT SCARAMOUCHE AND SUBARU LMAOOAOOOOOO 😭😭 this is really surprising

natsume and albedo is a really good pair, they can be cocky (i remember bedo’s smug face) natsume can be albedo, sora as klee, and tsumugi can be sucrose! i think they’re cute together. albedo and natsume is my comfort character so it was nice to see of them in both of my favorite games 😋 diluc is my fav character, childe is second (sorry comrade must prioritize master diluc)

and as a former chongyun main i screamed when i first learned about his seiyuu

what ar are you in genshin ?? we can play together sometime!! no pressure though. ( ◠‿◠ )

wAIT I FORGOR TO PUT THE DANGO IN MY LAST ASK 😭😭

- 🍡, an anon that needs to shut up /hj

omg dango nonnie you like hypmic too?? ♪(´▽｀) i need to catch up with so much stuff,, mostly manga and drama cds ehehe what’s your fav division? because i struggle with choosing just one sooo much ;; i’d say it’s currently fp but bb is an extremely close second!!

aaaa i genuinely can't get out of my mind this silly idea,, leo with samatoki's skull shirt, they can bond over questionable fashion choices dfgdfg maybe leo needs a dependable older brother in his life that can get him out of trouble after all <3 in all honesty i'll say toki was one of the main reasons i got into the series because a friend showed him to me and went “angry puppy vibes you’re gonna love him he’s like koga” and here we are now www

if it makes you feel better my phone can barely handle the videos ahaha ; v ; it starts getting sooo hot and works weird so i just,, static image gang. i feel like i’m losing most of the fun so from time to time i try to play some songs with the vids! i remember doing temptation magic i think? with natsume, tsumugi rei and sora hinata and that was absolutely adorable and chaotic <333 i’m also pretty sure that i got either izumi or natsume as kaoru in melody in the dark for... mrmmm purposes

wait wait wait you're a chongyun main omg i was a chongyun main for the longest time!! he was my very first 4* and up to this day he's the only claymore user i play as!! ii love my little blue ice cream son so much,, his seiyuu was like,, one of the big reasons i wanted to play genshin soooo bad. saito soma voicing literally every character i can love and more, i could make a whole list <3 but yeah chongyun,, so underrated and i love him to pieces!!

and your taste too, childe and albedo are my top fav characters!! diluc is,, so good. so so good. gotta say i’m head over heels for kaeya but diluc? i love him tons,, the amount of fangirling i do for childe and bedo lately... absolutely off the charts. the last event ended me, albedo my beloved  o(╥﹏╥)o

i think i'm mrmmm 56 in eu server and somewhere around 28 in america? i don’t think i’ve hit 30 yet. i made an america account to play with friends but as soon as i did everyone stopped playing and i got too shy to ask ehehe so yeah i think it would be so much fun to play together (*´꒳`*) <33

kisses for you if you read until here dango nonnie ily and your asks always me super happy!! i’m sorry that i make you read this much ehehe

[everybodyscupoftea]

idk you yet: next up forever

reggie peters x oc

and if you’re broken. you’ll make your own thing

There was nothing quite like the rush of playing in front of a large crowd. Reggie loved the band’s chemistry in the garage they used to practice in or the energy of small crowds they played for in the back rooms of record shops while they were trying to make it big, but there was no feeling greater than playing a stadium full of people screaming their name.

Luke loved it too, he ate it up, and he was always on fire, always at his best, which in turn fueled Alex to match his boyfriend’s energy, and Reggie could just feed off of them. When they got signed to their first big label, Reggie could just remember Luke’s flushed cheeks, his, “This is going to be great, guys. We’re going to be great.” 

“Legends, even,” Alex added.

Which Reggie thought maybe was a bit much, they were still young, still largely untested, but he loved the enthusiasm. Bobby was a bit more chill, probably the most levelheaded of them all, and the least driven by emotion, but even he was vibrating with excitement.

Then they started planning for a tour. Reggie hadn’t even realized a national tour was possible while they were still teenagers. Hell, he didn’t even realize releasing a full album was possible.

“Boy bands do it all the time, think about One Direction,” Bobby told him quietly while Luke chattered on to Alex about songs he’d written that he thought were perfect for a first album. Reggie was grateful Luke wasn’t the one to read his facial expression that clearly was showing some sort of doubt.

The first tour was incredible, smaller venues, but they sold most of them out. Sunset Curve was new and people were curious. The second tour was where it all became insanely real. Reggie can remember the day Luke ran into the garage, beaming.

He flopped on the couch, which wasn’t unusual, and propped his head up on his hand, “So, I talked to Drew today.” Their manager.

Alex hummed, sitting down next to him, “What about?” If Luke had gone and made decisions without the rest of them, he was the most likely to react in a way that wouldn’t hurt Luke’s feelings, but would still remind him that they were a group.

“He thinks we should do a world tour after releasing our second album.”

Reggie’s eyebrows shot up. He knew they were big, he knew they were popular in a few countries overseas, but he didn’t know they were world tour big. The other two boys were also shocked into silence. Their second album was fairly close to release, they’d released a single for it the week before, but a world tour already.

“Holy shit,” Bobby mumbled, and then a few seconds later, “holy shit!” 

“Yeah!” Luke was practically shaking as he jumped to his feet and onto the table, “Guys, this is it. We’ve made it.”

Reggie snorted, “Okay, well, we don’t know that the tour’s going to sell.” 

“It’ll sell,” Luke clearly had the confidence to carry the rest of the group through it, which Reggie could get behind. He couldn’t quite shake one of his mom’s lessons growing up: temper your excitement because things rarely go as planned.

So they got to work. They put the finishing touches on their second album, which did extremely well, some of the songs flying up the charts to the number one spot for a few days. They announced their tour, a few weeks later the dates and locations. Some arenas sold out within minutes. When they found that out, Luke bragged, not hesitating to throw in, “I told you so,” every time it came up. 

They planned a show, put together a list of their favorite songs off both their albums, worked out effects they wanted to put on something fun for their fans. Reggie was a lot more hands on in that process, not the most gifted with tech, but was the most interested in actually looking impressive outside of just the music.

Then they had to find an opening band. Someone who they could get along with, someone smaller that they could help get exposure. Reggie found them first, on YouTube, a couple called Double Trouble, also based in Los Angeles. After watching a few of their videos, Luke approved wholeheartedly and got Drew to contact them. Double Trouble was ecstatic, and thus, the details were finalized.

And the tour was great, they started in the South and worked their way up the Midwest, hit a few cities in Canada, down the East Coast and ended up home along the West Coast for a few shows. 

Reggie was constantly exhausted, it felt like a daze. Travel, play, adrenaline rush, eat, crash, repeat. And everything was great, they played consistently well, and after a few shows, he thought they really got the routine down pat. It worked really well for them, and the boys were thrilled with all the choices Reggie made.

The only problem was that it got lonely. He felt like he was surrounded by couples. Luke and Alex, Julie and Flynn, Bobby and his girlfriend that showed up every so often when she could get off work. Reggie was truly the only one alone. Which was fine, they were busy, but sometimes, sometimes the loneliness was heavy.

It all built, crushing him slowly as they crawled their way through tour, more and more dinners after the show feeling like a double date he was just crashing while Bobby stayed in to FaceTime his girlfriend.

October

When it finally overflowed was after their show in San Jose. It sold out, most of their California shows did, and that one was especially incredible to him. The fucking SAP Center. He knew a lot of their fans were Californians, that’s where they got their start, but he wasn’t prepared for that. 

They went to a local place, something small that they likely wouldn’t be recognized much at, and once again, he got the double date vibe. The couples talking lowly amongst each other, relaxed and comfortable, while Reggie picked at the straw paper on the table and stuck it to the condensation on his beer bottle.

He wasn’t sure if it was the fatigue that made him snap or just that the weight of his loneliness got too much to bear, he was out of his seat before his brain caught up and mumbled for them to get him something takeout, that he was going back to the bus.

Luke started to protest, hopping out of the booth to grab his arm, but he must’ve seen something on Reggie’s face that caused him to reluctantly drop his arm. Reggie wasn’t sure what expression he had, but it must’ve been something raw to make Luke give up that easily. Eyes burning, he shoved his hands in his pocket and left the restaurant, desperate to crash in his bunk and sleep it off.

Shoulders slumped, Reggie headed back toward the arena, staring at the cracks in the concrete as he walked, not wanting to attract even the slightest bit of attention. That’s when it happened.

-

William pretty much kept to a routine. It was easier for him, especially during the season, and it kept his dog happy. There was something that night, some anxiousness about the upcoming season maybe, that had him out and about after dark, walking Luna down the sidewalk near the arena.

There had been more traffic than usual that night, he wasn’t sure why, maybe a concert at SAP, but he wanted to see it. Before fans flocked there, and before he was contractually obligated to show up and be on top of his game. 

It was something he did in college too, sat in the bleachers right before the season and soaked in the stillness of the rink. The calm before the storm. He couldn’t get into the big arena, not without keys and a certain level of clearance he didn’t have, but he could walk around, using the facade of taking Luna on a walk as his reason.

He almost ran into the boy, more focused on staring at the buildings around him than the sidewalk. It was late, he assumed no one would be out, clearly he was wrong. Luna barking and pulling on her leash snapped him out of his trance, confused as to why she’d be freaking out.

The boy obviously hadn’t seen him either, hands shoved deep into his pockets, staring at the ground, and giving off huge leave me alone vibes. William almost recoiled, he looked so sad. But maybe sad wasn’t the right word. Morose maybe.

Luna could tell too, he thought. She was pretty perceptive like that. William only had to consider for half a second before giving in. Dogs always cheered people up, right? He let her pull him over until he was right in front of the boy who stumbled back at his sudden appearance, startled look on his face.

“Sorry,” William said quickly, trying to look as apologetic as possible, “didn’t mean to startle you.” 

The boy shrugged, staring at him inquisitively, eyes narrowed as if he was trying to figure him out. It made him a little uneasy, but he figured maybe the boy was a hockey fan.

“Can I pet your dog?” he asked quietly, staring down at Luna where she was practically chomping at the bit to get to him.

“Yeah, of course!” 

William took the time to study him while the boy squatted down to pet her. He was cute, William realized, and looked slightly familiar, though he couldn’t quite place it. Maybe he was from the area or lived in William’s building.

The boy was gentle, murmuring quietly to Luna while stroking her head. He couldn’t be sure, but William thought his shoulders started to lower where they’d been defensively tensed around his ears before.

Luna jumped up, resting her two front paws on his knees, and licked his cheek, drawing a soft laugh. William immediately wanted to hear it again, he was entranced. Soon, too soon in William’s opinion, the boy was gently lowering Luna back to the sidewalk and standing back up.

He cleared his throat and gave William a small smile, “Thanks. Dogs fix everything.”

“I agree,” William answered quickly before taking his chance, “I’m William by the way.” 

“Reggie,” the boy answered, holding his hand out for William to shake. He did happily, trying to keep the shake out of his hands as excitement started to build.

“You from around here, Reggie?” he asked, genuinely curious and not wanting to let him go.

“Los Angeles actually.”

William couldn’t stop the frown, totally unsure why Reggie looked familiar. He hummed, “Sucks, NorCal is 100% a better place to live.”

Reggie laughed, “Oh yeah? Seems a bit biased.” 

“Totally unbiased,” William crossed a finger over his heart, “I’ve been there.”

“So you live around here?” Reggie crossed his arms.

“I do. A few blocks away.” 

“Seems a little late to be out and about.”

“Luna wanted a walk,” William told him, and in a rare state of perfect honesty, “plus was feeling a little anxious.”

“What about?” Reggie asked before flinching, “Oh God, I’m so sorry. That was super intrusive, feel free not to answer that.” 

William laughed, “Oh nothing, nerves over a new job.”

“Ah,” he nodded a bit knowingly, “stage fright.” 

Narrowing his eyes, William nodded slowly, “Something like that.” 

A comfortable silence lapsed, and Reggie’s eyes started to droop a bit. He blinked a few times and let out a sigh, “I should probably get going. It’s been a long night.” 

“Me too,” William smiled wryly, “should attempt to get at least a little sleep before I have to be up early.” 

“Feel that.” 

Just as soon as Reggie went to side step him, to walk away forever, William blurted, “Wait.” 

Reggie froze, head snapping up to meet his eyes, “Yes?” 

“Can I,” he drew in a breath and gathered his courage, “could I get your number?”

Tilting his head, Reggie looked him over, William could see the carefully masked surprise, “Um, yeah, sure.” 

William beamed, and held his hand out for Reggie’s phone. Eyebrows raised, Reggie passed it over. Typing in his number, William couldn’t help but add a shark emoji. Maybe it was a bit on the nose, but he thought it was at least a little funny.

Reggie wrinkled his eyebrows, but texted him to make sure William had his number too. His stomach swooped as it popped up on his screen.

Hey it’s Reggie

“Thank you,” he gushed, trying to mask his excitement a bit, “I’ll text you later.” 

Reggie smiled, and it seemed genuine, “I’m looking forward to it.”

-

Reggie was oddly nervous. He’d never met anyone quite like William, the boy who either didn’t know who he was or didn’t care. Laying in bed, he passed his phone back and forth between his hands, waiting for a text that didn’t seem to be coming.

Did he hallucinate William out of pure tiredness, he wondered, scrambling to check. Nope, he’d sent a text. Maybe William fell asleep as soon as he got home. Or forgot. 

A voice in his head that sounded oddly like Alex suggested, ‘text him’ which seemed a bit absurd at first, but the idea started to grow on him. Thumbs hovering over the keypad, he eventually came up with something simple.

Hope you made it home okay

The response wasn’t immediate, but came pretty soon after.

Just made it, was about to text you

Reggie smiled goofily, and stared at the message. Shaking his head, he knew he needed to respond.

Guess I’m just faster.

The next text from William was immediate.

Doubt it. Just more impatient.

Reggie snorted.

Also true.

The typing bubbles appeared and disappeared a few times while Reggie waited with baited breath. 

So what are you up to?

Reggie hesitated, should he tell this boy who he was or keep it vague?

In bed, probably going to sleep soon

He figured it was probably the right move when William texted back.

Same, got an early morning tomorrow. It was nice meeting you though, talk tomorrow?

Reggie’s stomach actually fluttered, he didn’t even know it could do that.

Sounds great

He fell asleep with a smile on his face and when he woke up, phone pressed to his chest, battery dangerously low, there was already a text from William and a picture of Luna attached.

Good morning, hope you slept well. We sure did.

Reggie sighed, thankful that it wasn’t all a dream.

I did, thanks. Good luck with your new job today

William didn’t text back for a while, but Reggie didn’t really expect him too. He knew not every job was like his, so he figured William wasn’t allowed his phone much at work. Which was fine, he’d just wait with a little ball of anxiety in his chest until he got a response.

It turned into a routine after that. William always responded at the weirdest times. Sometimes in the afternoon, sometimes at night, and sometimes in the morning. Reggie never could pin down his schedule, just went with the flow as they worked their way through the western states.

The boys were never really sports guys. If they did keep up with anything it was basketball. But one night, out of pure coincidence, Reggie found himself on a channel playing a hockey game. It looked interesting, and one of the teams was the Sharks which he faintly remembered played at the arena they’d performed at the night he met William.

Maybe he could talk to William about it later, he seemed like the type to be into sports. So Reggie settled in and texted him, unsure if he’d even get a response.

You a hockey fan?

And then a few seconds later after a brutal hit.

I wasn’t but this is kinda fun. I’m sure you’re a sharks fan, they look good

He took a liking to a particular player, number 23 that the announcers kept calling Harris. Reggie found himself at the edge of his seat as the other team started to come back, the Sharks struggling to hold their lead.

“Come on,” he muttered under his breath, nervously checking the clock, “so close.” 

He pulled his phone out as the other team called a timeout.

If you aren’t into hockey you should check this out, I’m so invested

The game started again and he put his phone down, paying full attention to the TV. He tapped his knee as the last minute of the game stretched out, totally confused why the other team’s goalie just dipped, but invested nonetheless.

When it ended, he let out a relieved breath as the Sharks managed to hold on and win. Reggie stood up, shaking out his fingers which he didn’t realize he’d been clenching into his pants. He walked away from the TV, needing a break, and went to find something to eat.

Their cabinets were sparse, so he left the bus, wandering to the nearest grocery store to pick something up. His phone buzzed a few times, no doubt William texting him back, and he juggled the items in his hands to fish it out of his pocket.

Hockey’s cool. Probably my favorite sport. Picked a tough game to watch though. Calgary is pretty good this year, but the Sharks will get it figured out

Reggie chuckled and typed out his response with one hand while he waited for the people in front of him in the checkout line to move.

You seem like you know your stuff

The typing bubble appeared and disappeared for a minute straight, oddly reminiscent of the first night Reggie texted him, before the next text finally came through.

Yeah, hockey’s been part of my life for a while

After setting the boxes down and paying, Reggie responded.

Long time fan then. Always liked the Sharks?

Reggie didn’t get another text for a few minutes and figured it was one of those nights William was working.

Nope, liking the sharks is a new development. Started when I moved here

Stirring the pasta, Reggie nodded and decided to text him back when he sat down to eat. It never happened. He’d left the TV on accidentally, and when he sat back down on the couch, the men on screen were breaking down the game.

“William Harris in particular was impressive tonight. He really stepped up on the penalty kill, that game would’ve been a loss if he hadn’t played like he did.” 

A picture of his William popped up on the screen. Well, Reggie was pretty sure. He didn’t quite look like he did when Reggie met him, and sure he’d only seen William that one time, but he was pretty fucking sure that was him.

Hands shaking, Reggie exited their text thread and was hitting FaceTime before even realizing what he was doing. It took William a few rings to pick up, and he smiled, looking a little surprised.

“Why are you on my TV? Or at least I think it’s you,” Reggie blurted, not even saying hello.

William blinked, surprised, “What?” 

Reggie flipped the camera to show where they were still talking about this Harris player he’d been enamored with during the game. He watched William’s face carefully and saw the resemblance to the guy on the TV. 

William winced and put on an apologetic smile, “Um, because I played well tonight.”

“Mhmm,” Reggie muttered, still shocked, “and you didn’t tell me, why?” 

“I thought you’d figure it out. That’s what the shark emoji was for.” 

Staring at William incredulously, Reggie managed, “In what world do I make that connection on my own?” 

William smiled sheepishly, “Maybe it was a bit of a long shot. But I mean, it’s not a big deal, right? I’m still William.” 

Reggie took a deep breath and relaxed back into the couch, “I suppose, yes.” 

“And by the way, you’re not off the hook. You didn’t tell me you were a famous musician.” 

“Oh God,” Reggie shut his eyes, “I totally meant to. I just couldn’t ever find the right time.” 

“How about, ‘hey William, I know I seem normal but I’m actually famous and definitely way out of your league’? That would suffice in my opinion.” 

Sitting up, Reggie glared at him, “Hold on, if anyone is out of anyone’s league, you’re definitely out of mine. A professional athlete, are you kidding me?” 

William scoffed, “And you have fans all over the world, I just have fans in the United States, mostly in San Jose.” 

“But you’re hot,” Reggie countered.

“So are you,” William argued and set his jaw stubbornly.

Reggie sighed, “Fine, we’re both hot. But, I’m not sure what this means.” 

“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” William sounded desperate, “we’re just two guys, right?” 

“Right.”

“And we like each other, right?” 

“Right,” Reggie repeated.

“Then let’s just be two guys who like each other. Not two relatively well known guys.” 

Letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, Reggie nodded, “Okay, I think I can do that.” 

William was silent, both of them soaking in it, and Reggie sat up, “You look exhausted, I should let you go.”

“Wait,” William protested, “I want to see you again. When are you free?”

“I probably can’t make it for a while,” Reggie admitted, “Maybe mid-November if you have some off time.” 

“November we have a homestand, I can definitely do that.” 

“I’ll send dates.” 

William blushed, “I’d like that very much.” 

“We should FaceTime more,” Reggie mused.

“We absolutely should.”

When they finally hung up, Reggie immediately hunted down his laptop to start googling hockey rules. If he was going to (hopefully) date a hockey player he should start learning about the sport. 

He didn’t think William would hold it against him if he didn’t, but hockey was clearly something the other boy was passionate about, and the least he could do was support him. Maybe the next day he’d be a bit embarrassed about the texts he’d sent, but for the night, at least he’d be preoccupied enough. 

Over the next few weeks, Reggie started to watch Sharks games, every one he could, and the ones he had to miss for shows, he’d watch highlights after, all the time looking for his favorite player. William was good, Reggie knew that from the praise he got in the media, but one night he started looking up William’s highlights particularly. Found some stuff from his stint in college hockey and fell down a rabbit hole. He pulled out his phone.

You’re like. Insanely good.

The response was quick.

Ha. Thanks

Reggie scoffed.

Not joking. I’m looking at your college stuff, you went high in the draft. Maybe I was right about out of my league.

William sent back screenshots of his playlist, a few Sunset Curve songs thrown in the mix.

I’m not the only one insanely talented.

Reggie’s cheeks heated up and his palms started to sweat.

Mostly my bandmates honestly

He could almost hear the tone William would use if they were talking over FaceTime, he’d used it many times before.

Lies and slander. I’ve watched videos too

Reggie got that fluttering in his stomach again, and he actually went to look at dates, something he’d been putting off, checking the Sharks’ schedule to see if there were any days that matched up.

Hey, how about November 14?

William FaceTimed him instead of responding. His cheeks were flushed, “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Yes, absolutely. Fuck yes,” William breathed.

For the first time in a while, the loneliness crushing Reggie started to lighten. He knew his bandmates would start to notice, he knew Alex at least was confused about why the fuck he’d started watching hockey, but for the time being, William was his.

It wasn’t a secret really, not a dirty one. But Reggie shared almost everything, and he wanted something for himself. For once. With a happy sigh, he walked over to his bed and flopped down, smiling widely when one last text came in.

I can’t wait

[inaure-forhalla]

because at this rate i will simply never have proper full written out bios for my muses, below the cut find some more detailed information about my muses that give you more info than just the vibey little blurbs i shat out at some ungodly hour of the day:

akllasqa mamani:

aklla is the daughter of a scientist that had all her titles stripped of her, and prohibited from working in the field after unethical experiments came to light. this doesn’t stop her from laying low and forming a personal lab, although under a watchful eye. she proceeds to learn and absorb all she can about genetic editing, and with the use of the CRISPR method and friends manning labs, she produces her own genetically edited egg. this is where aklla comes from, she’s planted in her mother’s womb and grows to be a girl who continues her life under a microscope. her mother is constantly poking and prodding at her, in a desperate attempt to note every deviation from regular behaviour from a girl who was tailored. aklla is diagnosed with anti social personality disorder in the future, and as a child is known to have conduct disorder. she’s been called a sociopath more times than she can count and is prone to sudden, and violent outbursts. all in all, a difficult teenager trying to maneuver through a society that works against anyone with any mental diagnosis.

jolene walsh:

honestly jolene’s the only one i have a full bio for, so because i’m lazy catch that here. 

vivian han:

vivian grows up in a house that values tradition, and in particular the image of a good family. her parents are not overtly religious, but they’re devout christian’s. they got married young, and without much thought and this leads to strife in their household. they start to fall out of love right in front of her eyes, but old time tradition and religious beliefs compel them to stay together despite divorce being the healthiest option for them both. being the oldest daughter in the house, vivian often has to play peacekeeper between her parents fights. she grows weary of it, but knows her options are limited. the older she gets, the more time she spends outside of the house. parties where the music is so loud she can’t hear her thoughts, she drinks away whatever she’ll have to face when she gets home. vivian is the fun girl, and the smart girl, and the party girl, and she does whatever she can to keep up every front she has. straight a student, but beloved by her peers. and only because she tries so hard. sometimes that comes with a small mean streak to be accepted by her peers, but she grows out of that quickly. guilt wears on her conscience heavily. an unhealthy relationship is all she knows as she grows up and so it leads her into her own. she dates a boy who becomes her ruin, but she tolerates it because that’s all she knows. she tolerates it even when he pushes her against a wall and she’s worried she has a concussion. he never hits her, and that’s his excuse. she files a restraining order after much thought and push from her friends. but it only makes her wild nights even worse, she has more pain to drink away now.

gabriel and ronan:

two boys that were once part of the same band, now leading two completely different lives. gabriel has always had his head in the clouds, always dreamt of life as a musician. his parents could do little to stop what his heart wanted. as a kid he’d play in shows any chance he got at school, and even kick started his own garage band with his friends. he never wanted to be the star of the show, gabriel was more than happy in the background. and that’s how he becomes the bass player of Golden Ours. he grew up in a bustling house that knew nothing about love, and it’s what he puts out into the world. his energy comes from genuine joy, and the desire to spread kindness. he’s a humble star from humble beginnings, and does his best to not let fame get to his head. naturally, there are slip ups, ones he does his best to hide. but all in all, he makes for pleasant company. not much tragedy in this one, rather typical if you ask me. 

ronan on the other hand grows up in completely different circumstances. the accident child of an alcoholic and a junkie, he never really knows stability in his life. his parents never have a good means to finances, and he picks up odd jobs as a kid to support himself if not his parents. he holds his father’s anger and defends himself after each bark and bite from his parents. he doesn’t grow up in a good house, and he doesn’t know if he likes them more when they’re sober or completely out of their minds. he swings a fist at this father at eighteen and is met with his ass on the curb. with little to nothing to his name, he sofa surfs as long as he can, gets himself jobs here and there, nothing that lasts too long. he comes across gabriel before the band hits the charts and it begins as roommates soon turned bandmates. he joins as lead guitarist. ronan’s one to butt heads with the band often, but at the end of the day, they’re family and family was meant to fight. but the disputes only heighten when ronan pushes them to take deals that come their way. change their look, change their sound, change change change for the mainstream media. they won’t take it, and so ronan does. leaves the band behind and embraces life as someone he doesn’t recognize in the mirror. he goes from alt indie rock to more mainstream pop rock. his manager decides what he wears, what he sings, what he signs up for. the money’s good, but he hates himself. but the money’s good.

mira deol:

mira lives a quiet life for the most part. second oldest daughter of five, their family is never without festivities. she’s a good student, not the top of her class, but trying. she sits in the middle of everything, never too loud, never too quiet. mira seems to breeze by life in the background and a part of her itches to be at the front of the show. she knows she’s not built for it, so instead she’ll smile and nod through it all. her life flips upside down, she becomes part of headlines when her family is killed at sixteen. in the middle of the night, the confront what they think to be a robber. her father and his broken english yelling downstairs, threatening to call the cops when a gun’s pulled out on them. mira, silent, watches from the top of the stairs while her entire family is sat down on the rug. one by one, they’re lined up and taken out with a single shot to the head. execution style. she scampers into a closet, and her hands search the dark floors for the gun she knows her dad has. and she sits there, as quiet as ever, hands shaking as she holds the gun in front of her. she thinks he’s left until she hears the creaks up the stairs and the closet door swings open. she closes her eyes and empties the bullets into her assailant without a second thought. mira’s found with blood, both her own and his, on her body. she hasn’t left the closet when they find her, a neighbour calls when they hear the last round of gunshots. her face takes the newspapers by storm and she’s a charity case. without any other family overseas, she moves in with her next door neighbours. a girl she knows from school. she suffers from traumatic mutism for a year. rehab and therapy get her to open up, and she cries anytime she speaks for another year. her life is spent in and out of therapy, and when she finally moves out and manages to get into university, she lives alone. everything about her life screams at her to live with company, but fear of what happens to company around her forces her into living alone. currently, mira is still healing. it’s been five years since her family’s death and she’s pushing herself back into society slowly. her emotions are hard to handle, and she’s incredibly clingy when she gets attached. 

buster jones:

buster lives a comfortable life. his parents work good jobs and they don’t expect much from him. as the youngest of a trio of boys, he’s the family’s baby for most of his life and he milks it for all it’s worth. he spends most of his time gaming, eating, or hanging out with friends. never the best student, but he manages to pull through with the tutors his parents throw at him a countless number of times. he doesn’t tell them that he’s paid kids to do his homework and essays, they don’t need to know that. but when both brothers leave the house, grow old enough to make it out on their own, the attention turns back to buster. buster who does nothing for the family but eat half the contents of their fridge, which can no longer be excuse as the appetite of a growing boy. so his parents make him take up a job, any job, they tell him, and so he goes to work at a mcdonald’s. he reckons it’ll be the least amount of effort he’ll have to put in, and impossible to get fired from. plus, free fries anytime he so pleased. he’s working through his last year of highschool, projected to have to take a fifth year if summer courses fail him. when he makes it to college he takes up criminal justice. not with the dreams of being a lawyer like his mother so hopes, but with the dream of getting into the fbi. only because it looks cool on television and he swears they know everything about area 51, and the gps’ that babies are injected with. an avid reader of conspiracies that he spouts like his life depends on it, what he doesn’t have in book smart, he also doesn’t have much in street smart. how buster makes it through the day, everyone wonders. but somehow he does.

elena castillo:

she grows up doted on. an only child, given the world at her every whim. her father loves her, her mother loves her, but doesn’t have to love as much since her father takes care of that part. her father dies when she’s eight, and her mother doesn’t take it well. elena had shown various talents at a young age, and the one her mother hones in on is her ability to skate. never having taken professional figure skating, her mother says it’s time for her to try. she doesn’t protest much, knows just how pushy her mother can be. she’s a good child for the most part, prone to temper tantrums, but mother knows best. elena’s mother focuses all her energy on her daughter, and it becomes obsessive. like a pageant mom, she signs her up for every competition under the stars. elena is bound to win most of them, and that’s because her mother doesn’t let her rest until she gets her routine down pat. elena’s perfectionism is taught and forced down her throat, it doesn’t come naturally. it doesn’t take long for the girl to embrace that figure skating has become her life. pulled out of classes on a whim just to participate in competitions, she learns how to catch up with classwork quickly without disappointing her mother. she never admits it, but she seeks validation from the one parent she still has. thinks maybe she’ll gain the same love she got from her father if she does it right. elena is quick to snap as she grows older. becomes her biggest critique, and with it comes a sharp attitude that she’s quick to lash out onto others. she projects her own insecurities, and drags people down to bring herself up. she’s now a professional figure skater, one of the best of her age at twenty. but it didn’t come easy, and she’s not willing to give it up easy. in front of the cameras and the crews she waves and smiles. once the lights drop, so does the facade and she doesn’t bother to lift a finger for anyone she deems not worth her time. she becomes more like mother, and over the years, they become more like partners than mother and daughter. their relationship is never healthy.

luciana pereira: prev lucarus

has the sexiest bio it deserves a read here

imogen, willa, devna mini bios coming soon !

[kuroosweakness]

Even more facts about 🐾 anon:

- Idk why but positive words hurt me the most, like when someone says I’m their favorite person in the world only to not mean what they said actually makes me cry a little, but what makes me the most sad is knowing when someone is there for me that I can tell everything in the world too. Just them hugging me makes me feel that.

- I got into anime bc one of my past fav youtubers was into it and so I watched it. I basically started w the YouTube starter pack but actually started w magical girl animes (like Tokyo mew mew (the one she watched) and glitter force) then I drifted to miss kobayashi’s dragon maid to shonen animes

- No thoughts, head empty

- My music taste is probably the average anime tiktoker, like I listen to everything but reverbed and slowed Or in Lo-fi like, Lemon Boy and Me and My Husband but my favorite song to listen to in reverb is Daisy

- I kin music, like it might be weird idc but I do like the beats that are happy but also unsettling? I kin those. Like Not Allowed by tv girl? The part that goes “ALL BY YOURSELF, SITTING ALONE. I HOPE WE’RE STILL FRIENDS YEAH I HOPE YOU DONT MIND” and just loops is the best part to me. “Kaiwa ga tsuzukanai na? Naze da dou shite da? Aho ka?” From to prob the rest of the song of Pretty cvnt by sewerslvt idk I haven’t listened to the full song lmao but the actual meaning of the lyrics don’t matter tho so just know I probably don’t rlly care to look up w that means so it doesn’t ruin it for me ;-;

- I’m a extrovert (:OOO OMG THOSE EXIST) yeah I exist 😩 it’s real easy for me to walk up to someone and start talking since I’m really open about myself and don’t bother to hide things... (except the stuff like y’know... reading fanfics cuz no sane person is gonna go to a random person like “I LIKE READING FANFICTION!” Like I’d probably scared of u now if I was a normie.

- I don’t like being told I’m wrong if I know for a fact I’m right. Like if I say the sky is green and you say the sky is blue I’ll be perfectly fine with that but if you question my intelligence in levels other than that like for a fact from an anime I really like and call me out for being dumb bc I said one thing wrong for example I say “kuroos fav food is grilled salted-mackerel pike” or “itadori’s type are girls like jennifer Lawrence and I find that funny” and you say “no thats stupid” I’m going to call you and scream at you or fight you on sight next time I see you there are no other options. Jk I’ll only threaten you w those and never do it bc I prob love u too much and just give you facts from a easy google search

- Bruh people need to love themselves more like how will you ever love other people if you don’t know how to love yourself? You should always love yourself first before learning to love others because why would you wanna spend your life hating yourself? You’re gonna be with yourself for the rest of your life, even when you’re dead when you really think about it.

- My sleep schedule is chaotic

- I view myself as a good person, but on a chart of chaotic good to lawful evil, I’m probably the most neutral person you’ll ever meet. And I’m genuinely like that. I abide by my own laws. The government doesn’t tell me what’s wrong but neither am I truly against it. I don’t do things like steal but I’ll run in the halls to get to where I need to go or be on my phone during class (most likely with permission because I’m always reading on my phone) that’s why I’m my hero academia and shows the have good and evil bro wtf? Imma be in the middle. I truly think myself as someone you can trust to keep a secret and help when needed but I won’t spy for you on the other group and rat you out. First person that asks I’ll prob help if it’s not hurting someone (most likely bc I’m prob naive and the way you word something like let’s say you asked me to go to a bank to make a deposit or something and now all a sudden come out with money bags like HUHHHHHHHHH? I THOUGHT YOU WERE MAKING A DEPOSIT NOT MAKING AN ILLEGAL WITHDRAWERY WITH ALL THEIR MONEYYYY? (Like my friends and I literally joke about this.) Now all a sudden I’m a getaway driver cause god knows I can’t trust the police with my life😩😩 tfw someone makes you rob a back w/o you knowing✊😔)

- Ayo idc what you do with your life I’ll keep doing what I’m doing, like people trying to peer pressure me into idk let’s say smoking, LIKE BRO I HAVE ASTHMA, IDC HOW GOOD IT MAKE YOU FEEL, ILL LITERALLY DIE IF I DO THAT WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO TRICK ME INTO IT

- I’ve tasted alcohol (REALLY IT WAS ON ACCIDENT I WAS AT CHURCH AND ACCIDENTALLY CHOSE THE WINE INSTEAD OF GRAPE JUICE) before and I will now say I’ll never drink it because that’s the nastiest drink I’ve ever drunken in life

- One of my favorite songs are Love Taste by Moe Shop

- My favorite Pokémon game is prob ultra sun and moon

- don’t ask why I decided to watch every Pokémon movie and play every Pokémon game from X and Y and up (I found a friend that has platinum and am playing it but it’s also the first time ive really lost a Pokémon battle and idk that just started something like how dare you win over ME? THE MAIN CHARACTER? YOU NPC, I HAVE THE AUDACITY TO E N D YOU RIGHT NOW)

- first things first, u seem such like a fun person to be around! 

- i get that, kind words definitely hits :’ you’re very lucky to have people like that in your life, and that person is very very lucky to have you in their life! 

- ohhh okay okay i’m assuming you fell into the anime hole too :D 

- me too, me too. no thoughts, just staying in bed with suna by ur side 

- ur music taste!! ✨

- i’m listening to “not allowed” right now and now i feel like skateboarding...you’re right, it’s very happy but also unsettling :) 

- an extrovert, okay okayy while i don’t understand extroverts, i’m very thankful for extroverts’ existence :)) 

omg i remember people talking about how they “used” to read fanfiction and i was sitting there like 👀 yeah i still do ...and now not only do i read, but also write- 

- ahhhh being told ur wrong when u know ur right is such an awkward place to be 😭i’m glad u stand up for urself though! usually, i just nod like okay, ig 

- i- it’s a lot harder said than done to love ourselves :’) especially when there are so many reasons we believe not to. but self love is the MOST IMPORTANT LOVE! 

- not to sound like a parent lmao but try to maintain a good sleeping schedule! it’ll benefit u in many many factors, especially in the future! <3 

- okay okayy u seem like a really interesting person,  i was very amused while reading that paragraph  :))

- i- yes, health > everything else 

- make sure to choose grape juice next time :’) !! 

- i’m listening to it right now hehe 

- pokemon!!! my childhood was full of pokemon ahhh 

- u definitely know a lot more about pokemon than i do, okay okay, the main character always wins ;) 

[dontshootmespence]

Aastha

Part 3 of 4

Summary: After an unimaginable loss, you discover your powers and become even more cemented in your faith. Sam experiences a similar loss and struggles with it. When you meet, how will your lives change?

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Indian!Superhero!Reader

Words: 1,922

A/N: This is for @bucky-smiles 2K Bollywood Writing Challenge! My prompt was Jab Tak Hai Jaan. The thing that stood out most to me was both of the protagonists’ struggles and/or commitments to faith, so that’s what I drew on for this fic. Although I know that Sam is an orphan in the comics, having lost both his parents to violence, I had him be raised by his mother, so she’s still alive here.

Beta’d by: The lovely @bucky-smiles herself. I wanted to make sure I did the culture and religion justice, so thank you! Also beta’d by another Indian lovely @emilyshurley​, who also made the above aesthetic for me. Thank you both for working with me. It meant a lot for me to get the culture and religion right because representation fucking matters, so your help was invaluable to me. <3

A relationship, or gasp!, love had never really been in the plans, until that morning at the Washington monument, bonding with a man named Sam Wilson about the infuriating whirlwind that was the 30-minute, 13-mile Steve Rogers. “He’s insufferable, right?” You asked, breaths heavy yet steady at your pace.

“Unbearable,” he laughed, letting go of the competition with Steve to hang back with you. “You’re Agni, right? New Avenger?”

“Been with them for about two years now, so not new. But newer. And the name’s Y/N. And despite the “A” it’s pronounced ‘ugh-nee. It’s the Sanskrit word for fire.” He smiled; impressed.

You’d never felt the need to hide your story – how you became who you were - but what Sam said next took you aback. “Sorry about your mom.”

“Thanks,” you replied, smiling fondly at the memory of her perfectly imperfect smile and shining brown eyes. “I can’t say for sure why I made it out and she didn’t. All I know is what I believe. I plan to do right by her memory.”

“That’s really admirable,” he said genuinely. “I lost someone too, and I think it broke my faith. I admire anyone who can keep it.”

“I have to,” you replied. “My faith grounds me.”

----

It was your distinct differences in regards to loss and faith that drew you closer. Sam was consistently inspired by your ability to hold onto something so intangible as faith when you’d lost so much. After every mission, you all needed to decompress, and you decompressed in your own unique ways, but time and time again, the two of you spent your time together, watching bad movies, eating popcorn, playing pool – or more accurately kicking Sam’s ass at pool – but hey.

Though he’d lost his faith in God, you’d encouraged him not to lose faith all together, instead channeling that belief into something tangible. “What do you mean?”

“Well, faith is a shaky thing for some people. Because you can’t see it. What can you see? What can you see that you believe in?”

“This team. People. I believe in people.”

“Then that’s where your faith lies. You still have it; it’s just changed course.”

“How are you so wise?” He asked with a laugh.

“Just gifted, I suppose.” Leaning over, you kissed the underside of his chin. Somehow, through all this, you’d just found each other. There’d never been any official discussion of what you were to each other – you just knew. He was your best friend and confidant; the man you loved. Another blessing you were sure. There was no animosity between you and anyone else on the team; you got along with everyone, but you found solace in Sam, and he in you.

No one questioned it either. Not even Tony. Though he poked fun every now and then, which you would of course return, because he had Pepper. After a week without any action, you were almost starting to feel left out, until you, Sam, Nat and Steve were called on a mission.

At the rendezvous point, Fury briefed you on your mission. “Pieter Sidorov,” he said, looking straight toward Natasha. “You know him, right?”

“The Russian scientist and mass murderer? Yea, I’m familiar with his work. Rescue mission?”

“Extraction. We still don’t like the guy. He’s still a grade-A asshole. But after the fall of Hydra here, everyone left that’s loyal has gone into hiding. And Sidorov is aiding what’s left of Hydra within KGB airspace. I need the four of you to get him and bring him back. We need him alive.”

The four of you nodded simultaneously, your mission clear. With the help of a few still-trusted SHIELD pilots, you made your way into former KGB airspace. “Okay, what’s the game plan?” Sam asked, already outfitted in the new and improved EXO suit; Tony had made a few adjustments in the likely case one or both of the wings were damaged, so hopefully he would never be down for the count again. “Who the hell is this guy?”

“Pieter Sidorov is a fucking genius. When you have that kind of intelligence, you go one of two ways, good guy or the worst guy. Guess which Sidorov is?” Nat started. “Anyway, he has no superpowers himself. It’s his suit. He developed a suit that allows him to suck the powers, and essentially life, from other super-powered people.”

“What can he do?” You asked. “He’s just any regular guy without the suit, but with? What do we have to look forward to?”

Natasha raised an eyebrow, rattling off the list of abilities the suit imbued him with – telekinesis and telepathy. “With, obviously, the added bonus of sucking whatever powers you and Steve have,” she said, tilting her chin toward you. “So if he’s got the suit, don’t get caught.”

“Thanks, Nat,” you laughed. “We go in teams of two, yea?”

Tony and Steve were your de facto leaders, so you all looked to Steve for your assignments. “Yea. Nat and I will infiltrate the right side, you and Sam go left. Nat will hack us into the system and shoot the map of the inside of the helicarrier to your watches. You might think we need the suit too, but we don’t. It’s programmed to work with his DNA. Without him the suit is useless. We take everyone out in our way and grab Sidorov, unharmed, and bring him back to Fury. From there –“ He hesitated. “From there, I don’t want to know what Fury’s gonna do with him.”

You trusted Fury, but he was definitely a scary man. “Me either.”

“All of us will leave the way Nat and I went in. Sam, make sure your wings are operational. The rest of us, make sure our parachutes are ready to go. As soon as the pilots make the drop off, they’re out. When we hit the ground, Nat has a way out.”

“What way?” Sam asked. “Car, bus, train?” She didn’t answer, her face showing no indication of releasing her secret. “Secret underground base?”

When she raised her eyebrow, you and Sam exclaimed at the same time. “Shut the fuck up.”

Smiling, Steve ensured that everyone had their orders. “Alright,” he said, turning toward you and Sam as the pilot pulled into the hellicarrier’s airspace. “See you two on the other side. Be careful.”

“You too, Cap,” you said quietly.

After Steve and Nat jumped onto the roof of the carrier and made their way inside, the pilots swung around the left, letting you and Sam out before speeding away under the cloak of night. “Back me up,” you said softly.

“Always.” Your back was to him but he spoke with a smile. “Ten o’clock.” Sam hid in the shadows as a man, presumably a guard, approached. Your size, and apparently boobs, always made men underestimate you, leaving you the perfect opportunity to slip them into a chokehold and wait until they passed out.

The moment the guard fell to the floor, Sam emerged from the dark hallway. “Have I told you how sexy that is?” He asked.

“Not now, Sam,” you laughed. “But yes. And please tell me more when we get the fuck out of here.”

Within a minute of knocking the guard out, Nat had uploaded the map to your watches. Unfortunately, it also alerted the entire crew on board to your presence. You figured that would happen. “Alright, stay at the ready,” Sam spoke. “How many people on this helicarrier?”

“About 500.”

“Fuckin wonderful.”

Quickly, you glanced down at the map on your watch, charting the quickest and easiest way to where they were keeping Sidorov. “Right in the middle. Great. They’re coming after us either way. Wanna stealth it or make an entrance?” You asked.

“Baby, do you even have to ask?” Sam laughed.

“Entrance it is.” As you charged forward, Sam followed your lead, handling any stragglers that happened to make it beyond your wall of fire. Those that didn’t run scared, fell victim to your wrath, dissolving into piles of ash snaking through the grates at your feet.

From the opposite end of the vessel, you heard the cacophony of screaming voices. Of course, Steve and Nat were holding their own just fine.

A nearly 300-pound, 6 foot tall Russian made his way past you. Big dude, but agile as hell. He’d assumed you were the strength out of you and Sam, disregarding him to try and take you out. But that was his mistake. As the man put you in a chokehold, Sam pulled out a knife, dropping down and slicing both of his Achilles before spin-kicking him in the face and over the railing. “Thanks, babe.”

“No problem. Let’s go. I want outta here.”

Your well-oiled machine moved swiftly through the maze-like hallways. You’d have a few cuts and bruises, but since joining the Avengers, that was pretty much Tuesday. As you approached the room where Sidorov was being kept, you made your silent prayers for the successful completion of this mission. You’d always prayed beforehand, in one way or another, but in the thick of it, you couldn’t help but offer up a few more silent prayers.

Melting the metal doors before you, Sam barreled past you and grabbed Sidorov, before running straight into Nat and Steve. Sidorov’s eyes sparked with a hint of recognition. “Natasha?”

“Aww, so sweet, you remember. You’re coming with us.”

Steve took the front lines of your escape route, using his shield to push over everyone in his way, while Nat and Sam handled the scientist and you kept an eye on your six. “You ready to jump?” You yelled, wind whipping your skin as Nat opened the door they’d entered. She pushed Sidorov out, sans parachute, and was followed quickly by Steve, leaving you and Sam to bring up the rear.

“Go!” Sam screamed.

Despite having jumped out of planes with the team before, it never got any easier. As you sailed through the air, you chanced a glance back and breathed a sigh of relief when you saw Sam jump too, only to watch a hook pierce the middle of his wings, ripping them off, and knocking him off balance. He spiraled in mid-air; you screamed into the wind, unable to do anything else but pray Tony’s upgrades kicked in.

Turning your attention toward the rapidly-increasing ground below, you waited for the right moment to deploy your parachute. When you ripped the cord, the parachute deployed, but apparently during your scuffle with the Russian guards, one of them had managed to slash it.

“Fuck!” Your heart raced as the ground approached, bracing for impact.

----

Sam panicked for a moment before his backup wings exploded out of the back of the EXO, giving him control once again. When he looked down, he saw his worst nightmare. “Not again. God, not again.” Y/N was fast approaching the earth with a slit parachute; she had a healing factor sure, but there would be nothing to heal if she pancaked into the pavement.

He retracted his wings and sped toward the ground, his hand stretched out in an attempt to grab her, the parachute, anything that might soften the fall. “Please God, don’t do this to me.”

Within a few hundred feet of the ground, he managed to grab her, only to have the chute make him lose his grip. For the second time in his life, Sam watched as someone he loved fell toward the unforgiving earth.

[riverboundao3ff]

Riverbound, Chapter 1

Your name is MSPA READER, and you are currently vibing outside of the known multiverse.

Well, you don’t really use that name anymore, on account of it not actually being a name. Names sound something like Emily, or Muhammad, or Patrick, or Shamita, or a million other put-together syllables and sounds.

Names are something personal. A title is anything but.

You do have a new title, though, one you like much better.

The Guardian.

Because that’s what you became when you yoinked the timeline away from the control of Ultimate Dirk and that Director lady, whoever she was. You looked Canon-With-A-Capital-C in its ugly face, spit on it, and then bent over to wipe your ass with the fabric of reality itself. Out of desperation, love, and most importantly sheer spite, you took it upon yourself to defy fate so that there is at least one timeline where everybody gets to live happy lives. This was victory at its finest. This is what it felt like to finally get everything you wanted. Your friends? Safe. Multiverse? Secure. Hotel? Trivago.

In the vast and rich history of pro-gamer moves, you believe you might have made the most powerful move of all.

After using the Green Sun- no, sorry, the Green Sun to make your own timeline, you did what any other person would do and took a big fuckin’ snooze, curling up around your universe like a mama cat protecting her kittens. You earned it.

And, if you were being completely honest with yourself, that’s how you would have spent the rest of time.

It’s not like you didn’t want to live. No, living was good. It’s just… you were so damn tired. You’re tired of always running from place to place, person to person, era to era. You’re tired of being injured, scared, and alone no matter how many friends you made. All the gods of the Furthest Rings know you’d gone through more in like a year than most people go through during their entire lives. Couldn’t a bitch just enjoy eternity in the void?

Apparently not.

The dreams began innocently enough. Playing video games with Dave, John, and Karkat. Exploring Jade’s island with Jake and Bec. Baking with Jane. Kanaya teaching you and Sollux how to sew. FLARP-ing with Vriska.

Laying side-by-side with Roxy as you two watched the sun rise. Role-playing with Nepeta. Movie night with Eridan. Getting high off your ass with Gamzee and scaring the shit out of some teal visiting their kismesis a few hives away. Discussing politics with Feferi.

Escaping that hellhouse the Soleil twins called their home. Watching those eerie lights in the corpsefield beside Fozzer. You and Remele beating a purpleblood to death.

You barely realize how nightmares had invaded your mind until you woke up with Karako’s yowls of terror in your ears. You didn’t have ears anymore, though, or a physical form, so it just sounded like your favorite clown son was screaming all around you in the abyss.

Okay. This was fine. This was fine, you kept telling yourself. After everything that’s happened to you, you were bound to develop PTSD at some point. That was completely natural.

Except this wasn’t just PTSD. This was something else entirely, because even when you were awake you saw the faces of your oldest friends burning in your mind’s eye. Something churned in your gut, ancient and primal. It was a feeling you knew well, and was usually accompanied by you launching yourself into whatever stupid shit you found next. The longer you tried to ignore it, the stronger it became, until you were permanently wrapped up around yourself like the most pathetic ball of Guardian that had to have ever existed.

You knew long before you actually put words to what was going on.

Of course. Of course it wasn’t over, because why would you ever get to have anything for yourself? Why would you ever get to just rest? For the first time in… who even knows how long, you sob hysterically into the sleeves of your hoodie.

A galaxy twinkles in the outer shell of your universe, lighting up the zig-zag sign on your chest. Mallek’s lazy smile fills your thoughts. If at all possible, everything hurts even more, until you can’t even cry to let out the pain.

Did he miss you? Did all of them miss you?

Oh, God, Daraya. You promised her you’d take her to Earth sometime, and then you just totally fucking vanished from the face of Alternia. What a fucking dick move. Granted, you hadn’t meant to do it, but still!

Your traitor-asshole brain reminds you of the fact that all of them are dead now. As in, Tyzias tried to lead a rebellion against the Alternian Empire, and then they all got killed. Your traitor-asshole brain also notes that it’s all your fault for encouraging those kinds of ideas.

Way to go, you absolute tool.

Except… they don’t have to be gone. You are the Guardian of your universe, and you make the rules. It feels so wrong to even think about it, but… yeah. You’re basically a god now. You can do what you want and nobody has the power to stop you.

Which brings about a whole new plethora of fuckery. If you were to go back, if you were to rewrite history… are you any better than Ultimate Dirk? Granted, you’d do it out of love, not because you’re a power-hungry bastard, but still. Shenanigans of this level are not to be taken lightly, even by sad Guardians with absolutely nothing better to do.

You sleep on it, which of course results in you waking up bawling like a baby as you remember the best roleplay sesh of your life, which was when Wanshi proudly gave your Soldier Purrbeasts OC her full name: Twinklemoon. You had a Soldier Purrbeasts OC named Twinklemoon. That’s why you were crying.

That’s it. You couldn’t stand it anymore.

You need advice, and you know exactly where to get it.

<>

You find her on the 8rigantine, furiously scribbling something down on a chart with a bunch of little figurines in the middle of it. You know better than to just haul your little friendslut ass up there while Vriska Serket is in the zone, so instead you knock on the hull and call up to her.

“Hello! Lady Spinneret, an old friend is in dire need of some advice!”

It takes about two seconds for a familiar spiky head to poke over the side of the deck. Vriska’s one dark eye lights up upon meeting your gaze, followed by a toothy grin that’s both menacing and completely genuine. She reaches back to grab something behind her. A rope ladder drops down and nearly nails you in the noggin, just like it did whenever you dropped by to FLARP with her.

“What the hell, bitch! I missed you!” she yells. Despite everything, you can’t help but smile. Vriska’s wild personality and no-bullshit attitude was just what you needed.

You’re very proud of yourself when you scale the ladder with ease and scramble up onto the deck without getting too much out of breath. With the amount of insane shit you’ve gotten yourself into during your travels, getting into shape came pretty easily. You’ve been told by several reliable sources that your legs are to die for.

“The 8-ball foretold your arrival. I brought snacks.” Vriska points to a bag next to her chart, not looking up from where she was drawing an impressively detailed kraken-looking thing. “Eat something before you start gabbing.”

That was sound logic, so you drag the back closer to you and start rooting around for something good. You find a bag of stinkroot chips, open that bad boy up, and start munching. Damn, did it feel good to eat something, and to also have a corporeal body to eat things with.

As you gather your thoughts, the hairs on the back of your neck prickle with the sensation of somebody’s eyes on you. You instantly look up to see Vriska staring at you. Her expression is blank, but her good eye held all the energy of a thunderstorm.

You swallow your chips. “What is it?”

“You look… different,” she says, setting down her pencil. “It’s like I can really see you now.”

“Huh?”

Vriska huffs, but she still doesn’t take her eye off you. “Before, you kinda looked like… I dunno, like somebody cut out a whole in reality and shoved the silhouette of a person inside? Like, I know what you looked like, but I couldn’t tell you the color of your hair, or what facial structure you have, or, like… dude, you have freckles.”

“I have freckles?” You reach up and touch your cheekbone, feeling the soft skin. Oh, hey, there’s some acne. Dammit. “Are they cute?”

“Sure? I think freckles are more of a human thing, so you’d have to ask John or Jade or whatever. Also you’re blonde, like Rose,” she tells you, thoughtfully scratching at her chin. “You’re still short as fuck, though. I could probably punt you off the poop deck.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Congrats on not looking like a hole in reality.”

You finish off your chips and flop back to stare at the night sky. With all the time you’ve spent on Alternia, you can now name a lot of the constellations. Right now, the Empress’s Trident poked up at a forty-five degree angle behind the pink moon. “I think I know how we can overthrow the Alternian Empire.”

Vriska’s pencil falls out of her hand.

You continue. “Have you read any records on a rebellion that occurred about… like, fifteen sweeps ago? I don’t know the exact date.”

Vriska’s mouth opens and closes a couple of times, and then she nods. “I sure fuckin’ did. Sollux did some of his mumbo-jumbo and got me some documents. He called it an early wriggling day present, but I know he wants to help my little… agenda. How do you even know…?”

“Because I helped encourage the right people to do it. I was there, Vriska. Those kids were my friends, and now they’re dead.”

She’s silent for a moment. “The leader was a teal named Tyzias.”

Your eyes are hot with tears. “I knew her. We met because she tripped on the sidewalk while carrying a shitload of her homework, and I helped her pick it all up when it went everywhere. She had a matesprit named-”

“Stelsa,” Vriska mutters. “Holy shit. She worked closely with some jades who lead their little army. They caused a hell of a lot of damage to the Empire before it all went down, I’ll give them that.”

Neither of you speak for a long moment, which you appreciate as you try and hold your messy self together. The longer you think about your old friends and all the good times you had with them, the more you’re certain about what you want to do.

They deserve to be here.

Your blood pressure spikes just thinking about it.

It’s Vriska who puts your thoughts into words. “You want to go back and help them win the rebellion.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s fucking crazy.”

“Yeah.”

She scooches over to you so she can stare down into your soul. “If we combine our resources and collaborate back and forth between the past and the future, we can make it so less people die. We could even take out that pathetic bitch of an Heiress they had back in the day. With your powers…”

“It’s possible I could compact time itself to create a world where we… where we can make things right. We could even help Feferi…”

You can’t bring yourself to say it in case you jinxed something, but by the look on Vriska’s face, she knows what you mean.

“It could work,” she breathes.

Slowly, you sit back up. Your heart was pounding so hard you felt it in your skull. “How do you think the others would feel about it?”

“Oh, they’d shit themselves,” Vriska snorts. “A full-scale rebellion across time and space?”

“True.”

“But it could work!” she repeats, staring into empty space.

“And they’d have a huge advantage they never had before. Me,” you say, talking to yourself more than to Vriska. You’d created this universe with your own power. It was time to protect it. “Vriska, I need to go before I chicken out. Tell the others what’s happening and that I’m sorry if this all goes to shit.”

“Wait!”

You look back at her as she grabs your arm, claws digging into the fabric of your hoodie. “I… you need supplies. No frickin’ way you’re going anywhere without at least a hydration flask.”

You know what she’s trying to say, and your chest fills up with all the warmth of a bonfire. God, you love this absolute bitch of a kid.

Vriska drags you to your feet, and then you’re both sprinting for her hive.

Amazingly, you don’t die trying to keep up with the cerulean as you charge up the stairs to her respiteblock together. You’re still out of breath by the time you reach the top, though, but Vriska’s already grabbing a backpack and tossing shit into it.

“Get me that jacket off the door,” she orders as she tosses in what looks like a small medical kit. You obey and throw her the jacket, the black leather one with the bright red hood.

She then waves you over, and you slip around her desk to see what’s up. In her hands is a black sheath, with a matching handle sticking out at the top.

Vriska pulls the sheath off to reveal the blade: a brilliant silver-blue metal that nearly glowed in the darkness. It’s incredibly beautiful and very scary to look at.

“I’ve had this thing forever, so I’m giving it to you, okay? Don’t fucking lose it. Press that little gray button at the top of the handle to heat up the blade. Good for starting fires and cauterizing wounds.” She shoves the jacket into the backpack and hands you the dagger.

“Vriska, I don’t know what to say,” you begin, but she smacks you.

“Shut up and strap it to your belt. You better come back soon. I want a detailed report on everything. Single-spaced,” she snaps.

You grin. “Yes, ma’am. I should be back, in like, ten nights. Maybe eleven.”

“Ten,” Vriska growls. “I’m coming for your ass otherwise.”

“Noted. Tell everybody I said hi.”

“Obviously.”

You reach into that little part of yourself, which in turn reaches back out into that chaotic river that is the flow of time. You throw the anchor down and wade upstream. It’s a little rougher than usual, but you won’t let that stop you. There was no turning back now.

Time travel is always like trying to hit a moving target, but you have great aim, and when you find what you’re looking for you feel your face split into another huge smile. There’s nothing different about this part of the river than any other, but you know. When it comes to the people you care about, you always know.

Everything feels more real to you than it has in years. Two moons shine even brighter in the sky, the chilly air stinging your face, and you’re no troll but it still feels like you’re going home.

You open your eyes.

“Ten nights,” you say to Vriska, and you let yourself fall through the current.

Your name is MSPA READER, and you are currently vibing outside of the known multiverse.

Well, you don’t really use that name anymore, on account of it not actually being a name. Names sound something like Emily, or Muhammad, or Patrick, or Shamita, or a million other put-together syllables and sounds.

Names are something personal. A title is anything but.

You do have a new title, though, one you like much better.

The Guardian.

Because that’s what you became when you yoinked the timeline away from the control of Ultimate Dirk and that Director lady, whoever she was. You looked Canon-With-A-Capital-C in its ugly face, spit on it, and then bent over to wipe your ass with the fabric of reality itself. Out of desperation, love, and most importantly sheer spite, you took it upon yourself to defy fate so that there is at least one timeline where everybody gets to live happy lives. This was victory at its finest. This is what it felt like to finally get everything you wanted. Your friends? Safe. Multiverse? Secure. Hotel? Trivago.

In the vast and rich history of pro-gamer moves, you believe you might have made the most powerful move of all.

After using the Green Sun- no, sorry, the Green Sun to make your own timeline, you did what any other person would do and took a big fuckin’ snooze, curling up around your universe like a mama cat protecting her kittens. You earned it.

And, if you were being completely honest with yourself, that’s how you would have spent the rest of time.

It’s not like you didn’t want to live. No, living was good. It’s just… you were so damn tired. You’re tired of always running from place to place, person to person, era to era. You’re tired of being injured, scared, and alone no matter how many friends you made. All the gods of the Furthest Rings know you’d gone through more in like a year than most people go through during their entire lives. Couldn’t a bitch just enjoy eternity in the void?

Apparently not.

The dreams began innocently enough. Playing video games with Dave, John, and Karkat. Exploring Jade’s island with Jake and Bec. Baking with Jane. Kanaya teaching you and Sollux how to sew. FLARP-ing with Vriska.

Laying side-by-side with Roxy as you two watched the sun rise. Role-playing with Nepeta. Movie night with Eridan. Getting high off your ass with Gamzee and scaring the shit out of some teal visiting their kismesis a few hives away. Discussing politics with Feferi.

Escaping that hellhouse the Soleil twins called their home. Watching those eerie lights in the corpsefield beside Fozzer. You and Remele beating a purpleblood to death.

You barely realize how nightmares had invaded your mind until you woke up with Karako’s yowls of terror in your ears. You didn’t have ears anymore, though, or a physical form, so it just sounded like your favorite clown son was screaming all around you in the abyss.

Okay. This was fine. This was fine, you kept telling yourself. After everything that’s happened to you, you were bound to develop PTSD at some point. That was completely natural.

Except this wasn’t just PTSD. This was something else entirely, because even when you were awake you saw the faces of your oldest friends burning in your mind’s eye. Something churned in your gut, ancient and primal. It was a feeling you knew well, and was usually accompanied by you launching yourself into whatever stupid shit you found next. The longer you tried to ignore it, the stronger it became, until you were permanently wrapped up around yourself like the most pathetic ball of Guardian that had to have ever existed.

You knew long before you actually put words to what was going on.

Of course. Of course it wasn’t over, because why would you ever get to have anything for yourself? Why would you ever get to just rest? For the first time in… who even knows how long, you sob hysterically into the sleeves of your hoodie.

A galaxy twinkles in the outer shell of your universe, lighting up the zig-zag sign on your chest. Mallek’s lazy smile fills your thoughts. If at all possible, everything hurts even more, until you can’t even cry to let out the pain.

Did he miss you? Did all of them miss you?

Oh, God, Daraya. You promised her you’d take her to Earth sometime, and then you just totally fucking vanished from the face of Alternia. What a fucking dick move. Granted, you hadn’t meant to do it, but still!

Your traitor-asshole brain reminds you of the fact that all of them are dead now. As in, Tyzias tried to lead a rebellion against the Alternian Empire, and then they all got killed. Your traitor-asshole brain also notes that it’s all your fault for encouraging those kinds of ideas.

Way to go, you absolute tool.

Except… they don’t have to be gone. You are the Guardian of your universe, and you make the rules. It feels so wrong to even think about it, but… yeah. You’re basically a god now. You can do what you want and nobody has the power to stop you.

Which brings about a whole new plethora of fuckery. If you were to go back, if you were to rewrite history… are you any better than Ultimate Dirk? Granted, you’d do it out of love, not because you’re a power-hungry bastard, but still. Shenanigans of this level are not to be taken lightly, even by sad Guardians with absolutely nothing better to do.

You sleep on it, which of course results in you waking up bawling like a baby as you remember the best roleplay sesh of your life, which was when Wanshi proudly gave your Soldier Purrbeasts OC her full name: Twinklemoon. You had a Soldier Purrbeasts OC named Twinklemoon. That’s why you were crying.

That’s it. You couldn’t stand it anymore.

You need advice, and you know exactly where to get it.

<>

You find her on the 8rigantine, furiously scribbling something down on a chart with a bunch of little figurines in the middle of it. You know better than to just haul your little friendslut ass up there while Vriska Serket is in the zone, so instead you knock on the hull and call up to her.

“Hello! Lady Spinneret, an old friend is in dire need of some advice!”

It takes about two seconds for a familiar spiky head to poke over the side of the deck. Vriska’s one dark eye lights up upon meeting your gaze, followed by a toothy grin that’s both menacing and completely genuine. She reaches back to grab something behind her. A rope ladder drops down and nearly nails you in the noggin, just like it did whenever you dropped by to FLARP with her.

“What the hell, bitch! I missed you!” she yells. Despite everything, you can’t help but smile. Vriska’s wild personality and no-bullshit attitude was just what you needed.

You’re very proud of yourself when you scale the ladder with ease and scramble up onto the deck without getting too much out of breath. With the amount of insane shit you’ve gotten yourself into during your travels, getting into shape came pretty easily. You’ve been told by several reliable sources that your legs are to die for.

“The 8-ball foretold your arrival. I brought snacks.” Vriska points to a bag next to her chart, not looking up from where she was drawing an impressively detailed kraken-looking thing. “Eat something before you start gabbing.”

That was sound logic, so you drag the back closer to you and start rooting around for something good. You find a bag of stinkroot chips, open that bad boy up, and start munching. Damn, did it feel good to eat something, and to also have a corporeal body to eat things with.

As you gather your thoughts, the hairs on the back of your neck prickle with the sensation of somebody’s eyes on you. You instantly look up to see Vriska staring at you. Her expression is blank, but her good eye held all the energy of a thunderstorm.

You swallow your chips. “What is it?”

“You look… different,” she says, setting down her pencil. “It’s like I can really see you now.”

“Huh?”

Vriska huffs, but she still doesn’t take her eye off you. “Before, you kinda looked like… I dunno, like somebody cut out a whole in reality and shoved the silhouette of a person inside? Like, I know what you looked like, but I couldn’t tell you the color of your hair, or what facial structure you have, or, like… dude, you have freckles.”

“I have freckles?” You reach up and touch your cheekbone, feeling the soft skin. Oh, hey, there’s some acne. Dammit. “Are they cute?”

“Sure? I think freckles are more of a human thing, so you’d have to ask John or Jade or whatever. Also you’re blonde, like Rose,” she tells you, thoughtfully scratching at her chin. “You’re still short as fuck, though. I could probably punt you off the poop deck.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Congrats on not looking like a hole in reality.”

You finish off your chips and flop back to stare at the night sky. With all the time you’ve spent on Alternia, you can now name a lot of the constellations. Right now, the Empress’s Trident poked up at a forty-five degree angle behind the pink moon. “I think I know how we can overthrow the Alternian Empire.”

Vriska’s pencil falls out of her hand.

You continue. “Have you read any records on a rebellion that occurred about… like, fifteen sweeps ago? I don’t know the exact date.”

Vriska’s mouth opens and closes a couple of times, and then she nods. “I sure fuckin’ did. Sollux did some of his mumbo-jumbo and got me some documents. He called it an early wriggling day present, but I know he wants to help my little… agenda. How do you even know…?”

“Because I helped encourage the right people to do it. I was there, Vriska. Those kids were my friends, and now they’re dead.”

She’s silent for a moment. “The leader was a teal named Tyzias.”

Your eyes are hot with tears. “I knew her. We met because she tripped on the sidewalk while carrying a shitload of her homework, and I helped her pick it all up when it went everywhere. She had a matesprit named-”

“Stelsa,” Vriska mutters. “Holy shit. She worked closely with some jades who lead their little army. They caused a hell of a lot of damage to the Empire before it all went down, I’ll give them that.”

Neither of you speak for a long moment, which you appreciate as you try and hold your messy self together. The longer you think about your old friends and all the good times you had with them, the more you’re certain about what you want to do.

They deserve to be here.

Your blood pressure spikes just thinking about it.

It’s Vriska who puts your thoughts into words. “You want to go back and help them win the rebellion.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s fucking crazy.”

“Yeah.”

She scooches over to you so she can stare down into your soul. “If we combine our resources and collaborate back and forth between the past and the future, we can make it so less people die. We could even take out that pathetic bitch of an Heiress they had back in the day. With your powers…”

“It’s possible I could compact time itself to create a world where we… where we can make things right. We could even help Feferi…”

You can’t bring yourself to say it in case you jinxed something, but by the look on Vriska’s face, she knows what you mean.

“It could work,” she breathes.

Slowly, you sit back up. Your heart was pounding so hard you felt it in your skull. “How do you think the others would feel about it?”

“Oh, they’d shit themselves,” Vriska snorts. “A full-scale rebellion across time and space?”

“True.”

“But it could work!” she repeats, staring into empty space.

“And they’d have a huge advantage they never had before. Me,” you say, talking to yourself more than to Vriska. You’d created this universe with your own power. It was time to protect it. “Vriska, I need to go before I chicken out. Tell the others what’s happening and that I’m sorry if this all goes to shit.”

“Wait!”

You look back at her as she grabs your arm, claws digging into the fabric of your hoodie. “I… you need supplies. No frickin’ way you’re going anywhere without at least a hydration flask.”

You know what she’s trying to say, and your chest fills up with all the warmth of a bonfire. God, you love this absolute bitch of a kid.

Vriska drags you to your feet, and then you’re both sprinting for her hive.

Amazingly, you don’t die trying to keep up with the cerulean as you charge up the stairs to her respiteblock together. You’re still out of breath by the time you reach the top, though, but Vriska’s already grabbing a backpack and tossing shit into it.

“Get me that jacket off the door,” she orders as she tosses in what looks like a small medical kit. You obey and throw her the jacket, the black leather one with the bright red hood.

She then waves you over, and you slip around her desk to see what’s up. In her hands is a black sheath, with a matching handle sticking out at the top.

Vriska pulls the sheath off to reveal the blade: a brilliant silver-blue metal that nearly glowed in the darkness. It’s incredibly beautiful and very scary to look at.

“I’ve had this thing forever, so I’m giving it to you, okay? Don’t fucking lose it. Press that little gray button at the top of the handle to heat up the blade. Good for starting fires and cauterizing wounds.” She shoves the jacket into the backpack and hands you the dagger.

“Vriska, I don’t know what to say,” you begin, but she smacks you.

“Shut up and strap it to your belt. You better come back soon. I want a detailed report on everything. Single-spaced,” she snaps.

You grin. “Yes, ma’am. I should be back, in like, ten nights. Maybe eleven.”

“Ten,” Vriska growls. “I’m coming for your ass otherwise.”

“Noted. Tell everybody I said hi.”

“Obviously.”

You reach into that little part of yourself, which in turn reaches back out into that chaotic river that is the flow of time. You throw the anchor down and wade upstream. It’s a little rougher than usual, but you won’t let that stop you. There was no turning back now.

Time travel is always like trying to hit a moving target, but you have great aim, and when you find what you’re looking for you feel your face split into another huge smile. There’s nothing different about this part of the river than any other, but you know. When it comes to the people you care about, you always know.

Everything feels more real to you than it has in years. Two moons shine even brighter in the sky, the chilly air stinging your face, and you’re no troll but it still feels like you’re going home.

You open your eyes.

“Ten nights,” you say to Vriska, and you let yourself fall through the current.

Your name is MSPA READER, and you are currently vibing outside of the known multiverse.

Well, you don’t really use that name anymore, on account of it not actually being a name. Names sound something like Emily, or Muhammad, or Patrick, or Shamita, or a million other put-together syllables and sounds.

Names are something personal. A title is anything but.

You do have a new title, though, one you like much better.

The Guardian.

Because that’s what you became when you yoinked the timeline away from the control of Ultimate Dirk and that Director lady, whoever she was. You looked Canon-With-A-Capital-C in its ugly face, spit on it, and then bent over to wipe your ass with the fabric of reality itself. Out of desperation, love, and most importantly sheer spite, you took it upon yourself to defy fate so that there is at least one timeline where everybody gets to live happy lives. This was victory at its finest. This is what it felt like to finally get everything you wanted. Your friends? Safe. Multiverse? Secure. Hotel? Trivago.

In the vast and rich history of pro-gamer moves, you believe you might have made the most powerful move of all.

After using the Green Sun- no, sorry, the Green Sun to make your own timeline, you did what any other person would do and took a big fuckin’ snooze, curling up around your universe like a mama cat protecting her kittens. You earned it.

And, if you were being completely honest with yourself, that’s how you would have spent the rest of time.

It’s not like you didn’t want to live. No, living was good. It’s just… you were so damn tired. You’re tired of always running from place to place, person to person, era to era. You’re tired of being injured, scared, and alone no matter how many friends you made. All the gods of the Furthest Rings know you’d gone through more in like a year than most people go through during their entire lives. Couldn’t a bitch just enjoy eternity in the void?

Apparently not.

The dreams began innocently enough. Playing video games with Dave, John, and Karkat. Exploring Jade’s island with Jake and Bec. Baking with Jane. Kanaya teaching you and Sollux how to sew. FLARP-ing with Vriska.

Laying side-by-side with Roxy as you two watched the sun rise. Role-playing with Nepeta. Movie night with Eridan. Getting high off your ass with Gamzee and scaring the shit out of some teal visiting their kismesis a few hives away. Discussing politics with Feferi.

Escaping that hellhouse the Soleil twins called their home. Watching those eerie lights in the corpsefield beside Fozzer. You and Remele beating a purpleblood to death.

You barely realize how nightmares had invaded your mind until you woke up with Karako’s yowls of terror in your ears. You didn’t have ears anymore, though, or a physical form, so it just sounded like your favorite clown son was screaming all around you in the abyss.

Okay. This was fine. This was fine, you kept telling yourself. After everything that’s happened to you, you were bound to develop PTSD at some point. That was completely natural.

Except this wasn’t just PTSD. This was something else entirely, because even when you were awake you saw the faces of your oldest friends burning in your mind’s eye. Something churned in your gut, ancient and primal. It was a feeling you knew well, and was usually accompanied by you launching yourself into whatever stupid shit you found next. The longer you tried to ignore it, the stronger it became, until you were permanently wrapped up around yourself like the most pathetic ball of Guardian that had to have ever existed.

You knew long before you actually put words to what was going on.

Of course. Of course it wasn’t over, because why would you ever get to have anything for yourself? Why would you ever get to just rest? For the first time in… who even knows how long, you sob hysterically into the sleeves of your hoodie.

A galaxy twinkles in the outer shell of your universe, lighting up the zig-zag sign on your chest. Mallek’s lazy smile fills your thoughts. If at all possible, everything hurts even more, until you can’t even cry to let out the pain.

Did he miss you? Did all of them miss you?

Oh, God, Daraya. You promised her you’d take her to Earth sometime, and then you just totally fucking vanished from the face of Alternia. What a fucking dick move. Granted, you hadn’t meant to do it, but still!

Your traitor-asshole brain reminds you of the fact that all of them are dead now. As in, Tyzias tried to lead a rebellion against the Alternian Empire, and then they all got killed. Your traitor-asshole brain also notes that it’s all your fault for encouraging those kinds of ideas.

Way to go, you absolute tool.

Except… they don’t have to be gone. You are the Guardian of your universe, and you make the rules. It feels so wrong to even think about it, but… yeah. You’re basically a god now. You can do what you want and nobody has the power to stop you.

Which brings about a whole new plethora of fuckery. If you were to go back, if you were to rewrite history… are you any better than Ultimate Dirk? Granted, you’d do it out of love, not because you’re a power-hungry bastard, but still. Shenanigans of this level are not to be taken lightly, even by sad Guardians with absolutely nothing better to do.

You sleep on it, which of course results in you waking up bawling like a baby as you remember the best roleplay sesh of your life, which was when Wanshi proudly gave your Soldier Purrbeasts OC her full name: Twinklemoon. You had a Soldier Purrbeasts OC named Twinklemoon. That’s why you were crying.

That’s it. You couldn’t stand it anymore.

You need advice, and you know exactly where to get it.

<>

You find her on the 8rigantine, furiously scribbling something down on a chart with a bunch of little figurines in the middle of it. You know better than to just haul your little friendslut ass up there while Vriska Serket is in the zone, so instead you knock on the hull and call up to her.

“Hello! Lady Spinneret, an old friend is in dire need of some advice!”

It takes about two seconds for a familiar spiky head to poke over the side of the deck. Vriska’s one dark eye lights up upon meeting your gaze, followed by a toothy grin that’s both menacing and completely genuine. She reaches back to grab something behind her. A rope ladder drops down and nearly nails you in the noggin, just like it did whenever you dropped by to FLARP with her.

“What the hell, bitch! I missed you!” she yells. Despite everything, you can’t help but smile. Vriska’s wild personality and no-bullshit attitude was just what you needed.

You’re very proud of yourself when you scale the ladder with ease and scramble up onto the deck without getting too much out of breath. With the amount of insane shit you’ve gotten yourself into during your travels, getting into shape came pretty easily. You’ve been told by several reliable sources that your legs are to die for.

“The 8-ball foretold your arrival. I brought snacks.” Vriska points to a bag next to her chart, not looking up from where she was drawing an impressively detailed kraken-looking thing. “Eat something before you start gabbing.”

That was sound logic, so you drag the back closer to you and start rooting around for something good. You find a bag of stinkroot chips, open that bad boy up, and start munching. Damn, did it feel good to eat something, and to also have a corporeal body to eat things with.

As you gather your thoughts, the hairs on the back of your neck prickle with the sensation of somebody’s eyes on you. You instantly look up to see Vriska staring at you. Her expression is blank, but her good eye held all the energy of a thunderstorm.

You swallow your chips. “What is it?”

“You look… different,” she says, setting down her pencil. “It’s like I can really see you now.”

“Huh?”

Vriska huffs, but she still doesn’t take her eye off you. “Before, you kinda looked like… I dunno, like somebody cut out a whole in reality and shoved the silhouette of a person inside? Like, I know what you looked like, but I couldn’t tell you the color of your hair, or what facial structure you have, or, like… dude, you have freckles.”

“I have freckles?” You reach up and touch your cheekbone, feeling the soft skin. Oh, hey, there’s some acne. Dammit. “Are they cute?”

“Sure? I think freckles are more of a human thing, so you’d have to ask John or Jade or whatever. Also you’re blonde, like Rose,” she tells you, thoughtfully scratching at her chin. “You’re still short as fuck, though. I could probably punt you off the poop deck.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Congrats on not looking like a hole in reality.”

You finish off your chips and flop back to stare at the night sky. With all the time you’ve spent on Alternia, you can now name a lot of the constellations. Right now, the Empress’s Trident poked up at a forty-five degree angle behind the pink moon. “I think I know how we can overthrow the Alternian Empire.”

Vriska’s pencil falls out of her hand.

You continue. “Have you read any records on a rebellion that occurred about… like, fifteen sweeps ago? I don’t know the exact date.”

Vriska’s mouth opens and closes a couple of times, and then she nods. “I sure fuckin’ did. Sollux did some of his mumbo-jumbo and got me some documents. He called it an early wriggling day present, but I know he wants to help my little… agenda. How do you even know…?”

“Because I helped encourage the right people to do it. I was there, Vriska. Those kids were my friends, and now they’re dead.”

She’s silent for a moment. “The leader was a teal named Tyzias.”

Your eyes are hot with tears. “I knew her. We met because she tripped on the sidewalk while carrying a shitload of her homework, and I helped her pick it all up when it went everywhere. She had a matesprit named-”

“Stelsa,” Vriska mutters. “Holy shit. She worked closely with some jades who lead their little army. They caused a hell of a lot of damage to the Empire before it all went down, I’ll give them that.”

Neither of you speak for a long moment, which you appreciate as you try and hold your messy self together. The longer you think about your old friends and all the good times you had with them, the more you’re certain about what you want to do.

They deserve to be here.

Your blood pressure spikes just thinking about it.

It’s Vriska who puts your thoughts into words. “You want to go back and help them win the rebellion.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s fucking crazy.”

“Yeah.”

She scooches over to you so she can stare down into your soul. “If we combine our resources and collaborate back and forth between the past and the future, we can make it so less people die. We could even take out that pathetic bitch of an Heiress they had back in the day. With your powers…”

“It’s possible I could compact time itself to create a world where we… where we can make things right. We could even help Feferi…”

You can’t bring yourself to say it in case you jinxed something, but by the look on Vriska’s face, she knows what you mean.

“It could work,” she breathes.

Slowly, you sit back up. Your heart was pounding so hard you felt it in your skull. “How do you think the others would feel about it?”

“Oh, they’d shit themselves,” Vriska snorts. “A full-scale rebellion across time and space?”

“True.”

“But it could work!” she repeats, staring into empty space.

“And they’d have a huge advantage they never had before. Me,” you say, talking to yourself more than to Vriska. You’d created this universe with your own power. It was time to protect it. “Vriska, I need to go before I chicken out. Tell the others what’s happening and that I’m sorry if this all goes to shit.”

“Wait!”

You look back at her as she grabs your arm, claws digging into the fabric of your hoodie. “I… you need supplies. No frickin’ way you’re going anywhere without at least a hydration flask.”

You know what she’s trying to say, and your chest fills up with all the warmth of a bonfire. God, you love this absolute bitch of a kid.

Vriska drags you to your feet, and then you’re both sprinting for her hive.

Amazingly, you don’t die trying to keep up with the cerulean as you charge up the stairs to her respiteblock together. You’re still out of breath by the time you reach the top, though, but Vriska’s already grabbing a backpack and tossing shit into it.

“Get me that jacket off the door,” she orders as she tosses in what looks like a small medical kit. You obey and throw her the jacket, the black leather one with the bright red hood.

She then waves you over, and you slip around her desk to see what’s up. In her hands is a black sheath, with a matching handle sticking out at the top.

Vriska pulls the sheath off to reveal the blade: a brilliant silver-blue metal that nearly glowed in the darkness. It’s incredibly beautiful and very scary to look at.

“I’ve had this thing forever, so I’m giving it to you, okay? Don’t fucking lose it. Press that little gray button at the top of the handle to heat up the blade. Good for starting fires and cauterizing wounds.” She shoves the jacket into the backpack and hands you the dagger.

“Vriska, I don’t know what to say,” you begin, but she smacks you.

“Shut up and strap it to your belt. You better come back soon. I want a detailed report on everything. Single-spaced,” she snaps.

You grin. “Yes, ma’am. I should be back, in like, ten nights. Maybe eleven.”

“Ten,” Vriska growls. “I’m coming for your ass otherwise.”

“Noted. Tell everybody I said hi.”

“Obviously.”

You reach into that little part of yourself, which in turn reaches back out into that chaotic river that is the flow of time. You throw the anchor down and wade upstream. It’s a little rougher than usual, but you won’t let that stop you. There was no turning back now.

Time travel is always like trying to hit a moving target, but you have great aim, and when you find what you’re looking for you feel your face split into another huge smile. There’s nothing different about this part of the river than any other, but you know. When it comes to the people you care about, you always know.

Everything feels more real to you than it has in years. Two moons shine even brighter in the sky, the chilly air stinging your face, and you’re no troll but it still feels like you’re going home.

You open your eyes.

“Ten nights,” you say to Vriska, and you let yourself fall through the current.

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E73 (Aug. 6, 2019)

Gooooooood evening good evening good evening all! @eponymous-rose is off packing for a cross-country move (as if THAT’S an excuse), so here I am isntead to lay waste to all you love. 

Tonight’s preroll: Sam’s costume from the liveshow getting dunked in acid.

Tonight’s guests: Laura Bailey & Sam Riegel, in a fully human and normal tshirt and jeans. Everyone oohs and ahs over Laura’s adorable live show outfit; Sam waits eagerly for equal attention. And waits, and waits...

Tonight’s announcements: Huge thanks to everyone who came out to the live show in Indy last weekend (I was there! It was great!). Laura talks about everyone singing the theme on the intro. Sam sent his entire costume back with Dani so he wouldn’t get stopped in the airport. Poor Dani! Season 3 of Between the Sheets, featuring Amanda Palmer, is up for Twitch subs now and will be up on YT on Wednesday. CR is headed to Austin, TX, for a live show on Sept. 23! Everyone talks about how Doty will definitely, definitely be in this show: The Adventures of the Darrington Brigade, ft. the return of Sam as Taryon. Sam says he already has something in mind for his costume; everyone else will be playing new characters. Laura’s got an idea for a backup character for Jester, but BWF advises her not to use this for the live show since Jester will def be dead in less than 20 episodes. Go to critrole.com/events for more.

Episode 73: Uthodurn, which is not spelled at all like I thought

CR Stats! Nott dealt 124 damage this episode, only 23 of which was friendly fire. Sam: “You know, he just needs to get out of the fucking way.” Nott rolled her 50th nat 20, resulting in a 43 stealth check. Laura and Sam quietly talk about Sam’s tendency to touch everyone else’s dice as opposed to his “playing fairly.” Sam also laments he’s lost his dustbuster in the studio somewhere after the last bit. Jester is tied with Beau at 9 for the most HDYWTDTs. Jester also played her 50th prank this episode: creating the ballpeen hammer as an offering to the Allhammer.

Laura thinks part of Jester’s new anger in battle is part of losing Yasha, especially when she disappeared right in front of her and Jester wasn’t able to help her at all. “Jester mammoth-raged.” Laura raves about being a mammoth & talks about needing to work on her elephant noise. Both Laura and Sam fail miserably at making the noise.

Sam slowly drinks a shot. It’s... a thing.

We have a close-up of Sam’s nail polish, which was done for the live show. He doesn’t own nail polish remover, it turns out.

Nott will talk to Cad about the explosive arrow whenever Cad brings it up. First, Cad was invisible & therefore at fault because he couldn’t be seen; the second part of the blame goes to Laura Bailey, who leaned over and told Sam right before his turn he had to kill this thing right now. The explosive arrow was the best thing he had; Sam accepts one part of the blame for forgetting it would be fire. Sam & Laura agree the bolt should have had some thunder/force damage associated with it because of the concussive blast. (Hilariously, my father presented this precise argument to me with GREAT VIGOR right after this episode aired.)

Jester’s call to the Traveler was just in the heat of the moment. All of her power comes from him, so Jester calls out to him (and Laura thinks it cool) when she gets a big oomph. Sam wonders aloud if her powers genuinely come from the Traveler or not. Laura: “I mean...as far as she knows.” Sam’s also distracted that the question card had a straight-up name on it rather than a username.

Sam considers the outcome of the election a win, since he’s one of the bi-Presidents of D&D Beyond until further notice. “It doesn’t matter how you get there, as long as you get there.” Laura asks if he thinks about it being a hollow win when he goes to sleep. Sam: “Do I look like the kind of person to have thoughts as I’m falling asleep?”

Nott’s usage of the pistol’s single shot was pure pettiness. Sam thought Nott had a shot because she’s acrobatic & fast & has some tricks, and he just didn’t want Beau to win. Making loud noises & drawing attention didn’t even cross my mind.

Jester was very proud of Fjord making those strength checks, but she wasn’t surprised. “He’s very strong, even though he looks like he’s not.” Laura thinks it’s funny and poetic that Travis rolled so well after ditching his sword/powers.

Travis has three sets of dice. Liam has a bunch of sets, but they’re all red (says Laura, offended). Laura only used purple dice at the live show because of how she was dressed.

Cosplay of the Week: a great Scanlan cosplay with Ioun’s third eye by @cxptaingrayson.

Sam realizes something that’s been holding back the Nott-Fjord relationship is that Nott has always been a little suspicious of Fjord. Now that he’s “talking like a real weirdo” and is still brave, braver than before, she can trust him more.

Laura’s asked about Jester’s conflict between healing & DPS. Laura: “Do you think Jester asked to be a fucking healer?” When they were deciding their characters, Laura was originally going to be a warlock with the Traveler as her patron; then Travis was like, warlock! What a cool class! Can I have it? And Laura said sure, she’ll be a cleric, that sounds cool. “And now he got rid of his fucking patron! Who knows if he’s going to be a warlock anymore? What a waste of a warlock!” She likes being a cleric--but even from Jester’s very first inception she’s always been a healer who hates healing. Brian: “She’s a battle Mercy.” She’s not regretful she healed Beau; the reason Laura didn’t immediately heal her is that she thought from Matt’s face that the remorhaz was very close to death, closer than it actually was. She confirms Jester is Chaotic Neutral.

Brian tells Laura he texted Travis to tell him Laura accused him of stealing the warlock class. Laura: “YOU DID NOT!” Brian: “You said it on the air!!”

Travis, via text to BWF, apparently in all caps: “I WAS CHANGING RONIN. YES I STOLE WARLOCK.”

Nott’s teasing of a powerless Fjord is 100% just because she thinks it’s funny. Sam: “There’s not really a deep reason to it. They tease each other all the time. Why would that change just because he tossed his sword in the lava?”

Laura needs to do research on other animals she can become since she enjoyed the mammoth (and giant eagle) so much. Sam keeps a list of flying creatures Laura can turn into because Laura struggles looking it up and often keys it into her D&D Beyond app before she’s even started. BWF: “This is uncharacteristically unselfish.” Sam: “Well, Laura is--I love her. Laura is pure harp music and I would do anything for her.”

Their environments are just getting better and better for Nott in terms of how goblins are seen. She’s given up the mask now, but it’s nice to have people look and not scream.

Both Sam & Laura pause to fan over the design of Uthodurn. It’s way cooler than either the Empire or Dynasty to them right now.

Laura points out that Nott has been fairly outgoing lately; it’s been a while since anyone said “you’re a goblin, stone her!” She’s beginning to come out of her shell as she gets used to her body (not that she likes it in any way), but it’s a development from Veth’s original shyness. She’s also drunk a lot; Sam says this will continue until he gets more Laura Bailey speeches.

BWF still has Laura’s copy of Game of Thrones, which he borrowed in 2011. Laura doesn’t listen to books on tape because she likes the inflections in her own head.

Fanart of the Week: a cool grouping of portraits of the M9 by @dylanbydoodles.

They apparently threw an election party after the D&D Beyond President reveal. Sam talks about convincing the Lyft driver on the way back that it was a swinger’s party in the most ridiculous way possible. Poor Indianapolis.

Nott & Veth’s relationship is getting very complicated. Sam says they’re beginning to blend a little together, but he’s now coming to realize there’s a part of Nott deep down that is deeply scared of going back to Veth & losing her rogue abilities, her adventuring; she wants to be herself again for sure, since her body is definitely wrong, but she’s beginning to fear the loss of some of what Nott is now.

BWF sincerely thanks Sam for the effort and thought he puts into his character. Sam sincerely thanks him. It’s a lovely moment.

Jester’s slip about Fjord’s powers was deliberate on Laura’s part but accidental on Jester’s. Everyone’s a little worried about Fjord without powers, even though he proved himself in the remorhaz fight. She thinks the slipup happened because Jester wasn’t on guard--because Fjord had done so well in the fight, she’d forgotten.

So far, Nott’s choice to leave the family behind in Nicodranus is worth it; no one’s died and they’re making headway on their goals.

BWF: “The Mighty Nein: no one’s died-ish.”

Apparently Matt owns the building they’re filming in? I missed part of this and genuinely can’t tell if it’s a joke.

BWF talks about how Liam, Matt, & Travis have all been genuinely mad at him before. Matt and Travis were mad; Liam was just disappointed.

How did Sam lose the election? He doesn’t think it’s because of him or anything he did. He thinks there’s a demographic shift in America; the electoral college hurt him; both he and Liam ran the campaigns they wanted. Liam’s was serious issues & serious passion, while Sam farted around for three months. BWF asked Adam Bradford at D&D Beyond, who’s the General Manager, about the results; apparently the pie chart was VASTLY in favor of Liam with only the tiniest sliver for Sam. Laura thinks it’s because Sam’s done nothing but troll Sam for five years and this was their chance to troll him back. Sam: “To that I say: good job.”

Dani & Max both voted for Sam. Laura didn’t vote. BWF voted for Liam. Chris forgot there was a vote. Zach voted for Liam.

Sam talks about the game they play, the app for D&D Beyond, and how the whole campaign allowed him to shine a spotlight on himself. “I didn’t get as many votes as Liam, but I got a lot of attention.”

Everyone loved this last live show. Laura legit loved wearing her dress; Travis & Liam looked great. Tal looked normal. Brian marvels at his own tattoos. He and Tal went through a lot of ideas before they committed to the bag situation--he sent it to Jaimie Alexander before the show happened so she could vet it. Ha! “Her response was 25 crying emojis and ‘please send this to my boyfriend.’“

Reminder: Mica Burton, Overwatch League host (and daughter of Levar Burton), will be guest-starring on Critical Role this coming Thursday.

And we’re out! Is it Thursday yet?

[hoodlessmads]

Bloom Into You Chapter 41

…is maybe the literal cutest thing I’ve ever read.

I love how that teacher’s like, “What the hell were you doing in the student council room this late?” and they’re like, “Sorry, we just needed this key so we could go have our soapy love confession scene in there but you can have it back now.”

And they’re not quite full-on holding hands on the way home, but they’re just kinda

Just

Just kinda

Screaming.

The panel layout on the page where they’re both laying in bed awake thinking about each other is so lovely. How Yuu looks like she’s looking at Touko but she’s actually not because they’re in their own rooms but she actually is because they’re on the same page literally. And Touko’s adorable “that all just happened” expression as she’s holding her hand.

I find it interesting that as the manga has gone on and as the anime has gone into production and aired, the manga itself has begun to embrace those water themes more and more. Like, I don’t remember water being such a huge deal at the beginning of the manga, but it’s a highly prevalent visual motif in the anime. We see Yuu underwater when she feels distanced from her friends in the classroom, there’s underwater lighting at some points in the opening iirc, and this all comes to a head beautifully in the actual aquarium scene where they are underwater, with Touko looking up at the fish and stuff above them and Yuu leading Touko by the hand into the light, which she had previously felt so distant from. Anyway, it’s just nice how several of the past few chapter covers have featured Yuu underwater reaching toward the surface/the light, and this title talking about sea charts reminded me of that. I guess it’s meant to be like, she’s above water now. On the ocean, which is this whole new thing to navigate.

I love how Yuu comes skipping into school all pumped about her friends’ lives and literally anything at all because she’s in such a good mood and how shy she gets when asked if anything good happened, and the fact that she immediately took that charm out of the drawer and put it on her bag. Like, Yuu in this whole chapter is a whole ass “FINALLY” mood.

I love how the panel layout and our sense of time almost makes it look like Touko has been standing at the door to the classroom for a minute trying to gather the courage to face Sayaka the same way, as though things haven’t changed between them, or at least to face her at all. She goes in looking all determined, like she’s decided she’s going to say something to Sayaka because Sayaka deserves it and it’s only right, but then stops at “Good morning,” and doesn’t end up saying anything else, kind of chickens out, just looks over pensively wondering if she should say something, and if that’s not a Touko ass thing to do I don’t know what is lol. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if she’s still brooding about what to say after school, trying to be all responsible, determined to be the liaison between friend and girlfriend. And meanwhile Yuu and Sayaka are as functional as ever and come to an understanding and reaffirm that they are best friends for life in like two seconds before Touko can even finish thinking about it. God, I adore Yuu and Sayaka’s friendship so much.

But the main point that the classroom scene got across for me was that things aren’t the same between Touko and Sayaka now. It’s awkward. It’s different. There’s a distance between them now that wasn’t there before. And while they will still be friends after this (for a while, if we believe the second light novel to be canon), this is definitely the beginning of them slowly drifting apart. I think it’s a good thing. Sayaka especially could use the opportunity to move on. Staying as close of friends as they were just wouldn’t be a healthy scenario for either of them, especially now that so many things have come to light that they previously kept secret from each other. As much as she does know her weaknesses and still love her, it still feels like there’s a part of Touko that Sayaka never really knew. They have both changed and grown so much since the beginning of the series, and the people they are now just aren’t as compatible as they once were, as friends or otherwise. I hope Sayaka comes to realize this sooner rather than later so that it can start hurting less.

Honestly this chapter filled my heart with fluffy cuteness like a water tank about to bust from too much pressure and I almost died from it, but that ONE panel with Sayaka’s face after she sees Yuu’s charm broke me. Nakatani is a master. That facial expression was just so raw. I hate to see her hurting like that. Sayaka is truly too good for this world. God, please future girlfriend, please love her well.

But Yuu and Sayaka’s friendship waters my crops. That cheek slap and stretch routine is a blatant gesture of unbridled affection disguised as fake irritation and you cannot convince me otherwise. This whole scene. Ugh, she’s so…nice?

Touko’s flustered reaction at seeing Yuu and Sayaka being such legitimately chill friends and having worked out all their issues while she was brooding and being anxious will never cease to amuse me. I love her, I try to defend Touko so much, but it’s scenes like this that prove once again that she’s actually just the yuri equivalent of a fuckboy, god bless her heart. I do adore her.

It’s been quite a while since we’ve seen disaster gay Nanami Touko so I was quite glad to see her make several appearances this chapter. They’re both trying so hard to be chill during the student council meeting but they both helplessly look up at each other at the same time. Or perhaps Yuu looks up helplessly and Touko is just dead ass staring at her, smitten. And Touko is so determined to type very important things afterwards. How is Nakatani so good at drawing cute ass snapshots of cute ass people? And I love how they’re…are ya’ll holding hands with your feet now? It’s adorable. Keep doing it.

Maki is that audience insert.

Same.

Doujima’s still completely oblivious that there are lesbians in this show.

So Yuu. I am always a huge sucker for when characters who are traditionally pretty unemotional get to a point where they’re so emotional that they can’t help but display that emotion in a way that’s uncharacteristic of how they’ve been up to this point, but for that reason is so incredibly satisfying to watch. It is so satisfying to see this adorable person that we’ve come to know and love finally get to this point. Yuu is honestly the best part of all of this fluff, by far. Talk about acting experience. This whole time, she’s worn the world’s greatest poker face, and now that she can finally let herself be the absolute gay mess she actually is, she’s just barely keeping it all in and it’s so adorable and gratifying. You wouldn’t have known this girl could get so red and flustered but damn if she isn’t and it is so fucking cute.

She’s so eager to finally say Touko’s name (with senpai), and in spite of how flustered and head over heels she is, she’s still the same functional and straightforward Yuu we’ve always known. She comes right out and tries to DTR within like an hour of having the initial thought. The response: “Girlfriends? I haven’t thought about it. I guess we are.” Touko, this is why you’re a meme.

And on the flip side of Yuu being so embarrassed, Touko’s all, “Stand aside, I’m Character Development Touko now. I’m not the flustered disaster lesbian you once knew. I’m Smooth Touko now. I’m the new and improved Kiss Your Tears Touko. I troll Yuu about saying my name and not the other way around. I’m smooth as hell now.” But then as soon as “Touko-senpai” comes out she’s just like “fuck.”

Their conversation about happiness at the end is really moving to me, because they’ve moved past the “ureshii” happiness they were talking about last chapter and they’re now talking “shiawase,” which specifically refers to lasting happiness. If that isn’t the deepest most romantic shit. I also feel like bringing up the way Yuu casually mentioned the idea of girlfriends living together at some point in the future and it was just kind of glossed over as if this girl is not already playing the long game with Touko and I’m crying inside. Because I genuinely believe they’ll get there and I always thought so, but this nod from canon is glorious. (You’ve been dating for one day, Yuu, chill.) But in all seriousness, Yuu, you absolute head over heels in love sap. This talk of girlfriends living together and this repeated mention of lasting happiness (has me feeling all types of ways) tells me where Yuu’s head is at. How serious her feelings actually are. Like, that’s marriage material, bitch. She’s that happy. I’m just…so happy for her.

I find it interesting that we haven’t really been in Touko’s head since she texted Yuu on the train in chapter whatever, and not since the confession scene last chapter. We’ve mostly been with Yuu ever since. Even that one classroom scene I would argue is more from Sayaka’s point of view. I hope next chapter we get a little more from Touko’s side. I have a feeling we’ll get something like a Touko-centric chapter at some point, as I feel her personal character arc and the whole thing with her sister still need some polishing off before we can bring the story to a close. But that’s just me.

In some ways, it’s a shame that there’s so few pages left before the end of the story. Yuu and Touko’s new relationship is completely uncharted territory for them now (not to unintentionally make a pun on the chapter title). That period of excitement and uncertainty at the beginning of a new relationship is always one of the most gratifying things to explore in a story for me, so I wish we had more time. There are so many interesting things to explore with this entire cast of characters that just won’t get explored, simply because of time constraints. Still, the flip side is that ending it here in volume 8 will give Bloom Into You the succinct, satisfying conclusion it deserves to a well-structured, well-paced arc, with absolutely no excess anywhere in sight. Bloom Into You is such a brilliant exercise in telling a complete, engaging story while trimming all the fat. Some romance stories can end up feeling bloated in terms of pacing and structure, but I have a feeling this is going to be just perfect. (Unless Nakatani Nio, actual manga genius and icon, somehow manages to fuck it up. Not likely.)

Once again, I’m excited to see where Nakatani takes us and the characters next. I can’t wait to see certain characters’ reactions to the new relationship, like Akari, Koyomi, and Rei. And god, I would love to see more of Yuu and Touko navigating this new relationship, what it means, what the rules are, how they define it to themselves and others. Basically, I just want to know what happens next. Is that too much to ask? Can’t I just know what happens next? God damn it.

[euphanisms]

dnp venus signs

so i was reading up on Dan & Phil’s natal charts kind of recently, specifically their Venus signs, to get a better understanding of their relationship & love languages. a lot of us who are interested in astrology have probably looked into this already, but i just wanted to compile some stuff here in case this is new to you

i added a couple of my own notes into what i’ve copypasta’d from Cafe Astrology, but i’m sure you’ll be able to see other parallels in this text as well

Dan ~ Venus in Leo

Venus in Leo men and women have high expectations, but once you know that these expectations revolve only around how much attention you are giving them, you’ll see that they are really quite big-hearted about most everything else. They are threatened by a relationship that appears to have settled too much, or one that’s lost its spark(1). They are also threatened by indifferent or impersonal behavior on your part(2).

a cool thing about Dan & Phil’s relationship is it’s always ALWAYS been fresh. it’s always been an adventure. even just meeting each other was charged with so much excitement. then they moved in together for the first time & started the radio show, & then after being constant sources of inspiration to each other for their personal channels, they started DanAndPhilGAMES. TATINOF, TABINOF. II. all of their side projects. their travels, moving houses, growing as people & becoming famous. all by each other’s sides. so it’s no wonder that Dan feels safe in his relationship with Phil: they’ve never lost that spark.

sounds like our sweet, jealous Dan

Although their needs for physical expression through sex are generally quite strong, their need for love is perhaps even stronger(1). It is hard for Venus in Leo people to separate love and sex, and even their most erotic fantasies are infused with love and affection. For this reason, few Venus in Leo folk would last long in a relationship that is mostly sexual. On the flip side, they may last longer in a love-only relationship in the absence of satisfying sex, but they are unlikely to feel very satisfied(2).

yea like. we been knew that Dan loves him some sex. but his edgy exterior isn’t quite covering the glaringly obvious softie within. this boy straight up just wants to be loved, & he’s not gonna let many people close enough to give him that (hi Phil)

is it just me or is this screaming 2012? when dnp were carefully & cautiously maintaining a very obvious distance from each other, they still stayed together. they still wanted to live together & work together. they were still so close. we can’t truly know what happened away from cameras & the internet, but we know that while their relationship may have changed, their bond did not.

Pleasing Venus in Leo involves paying loads of attention to them. If you’re willing to make only one adjustment in your ways, it should be to remind Leo how wonderful they are(1). Respect and appreciate them, always. Put up with their childlike moments and their tall tales. They want to be seen as attractive by you, so avoid (at all costs!) putting them down in this area(2). They actually lose interest when they perceive the slightest loss of interest in their partner, and you can expect that any letdown will be acted out in a dramatic fashion. Remind them, in a gentle way, that your emotions count too. If you are feeling a little jealous, let them know. Remember, to Venus in Leo, your small jealousies are affirmations that you find them attractive and expect the rest of the world to as well(3). Let them decide where to go on a date, and let them pay too. When Venus in Leo feels loved and appreciated, they reward you with loyalty, a big sense of fun, and plenty of physical expressions of their love.

yep. Dan loves attention.

to me, it always seems like Phil is genuinely happy to allow Dan his little Extra Moments™. he’s just giggling good-naturedly & looking at Dan like sunshine is coming out of his ass. & you better believe Dan is fucking Thriving off of that

@ jealous Dan 👀 u seeing this, babe? yeah, Phil’s hot. people with eyes are gonna look at him. but dw, you already got him. he fucking loves you. you can breathe.

Love is magnificent and grand to Venus in Leo people. They take pride in love and their love relationships, and they are typically generous with their money(1). This is a warmhearted, teasing, expressive, proud, and extravagant placement for Venus. Love is a bit of a game–a game that is perpetual, as Venus in Leo is forever stuck in the romance stage of a relationship(2). They feed on attention, acknowledgement, validation, and adoration. Venus in Leo loves to be adored, pampered, and admired(3). They have a strong ego investment in their love lives. The negative expression of this placement is overstating of feelings simply for the effect, as well as extravagance(4).

i know we all love the idea of sugar ddy Capita£ester, but i also bet Dan has his own little ways of spoiling Phil that would probably make us all dissolve into a pathetic pile of tears & puke if we knew 💕

immediate visual of Heart Eyes Howell

i think this is part of why Dan does so well with YouTube & liveshows & all that, despite his introversion & social anxiety: he’s got a really deep-seated need for validation & adoration.

ahem

Venus in Leo people may spend a lot on entertainment or sometimes just to show off! They generally are big tippers and give special and generous gifts. They are attracted to art, furnishings, clothing, and music that is bold and passionate, renaissance, lush or opulent, lavishly comfortable, and romantic(1).

like if that doesn’t have Dan’s name written all over it idk what does

Phil ~ Venus in Sagittarius

When Venus in Sagittarius people are in love, they need to feel they can grow and expand their horizons through their relationship. They want to learn new things, and experience everything together(1). These are idealistic lovers who want you to appreciate their beliefs, visions, and ideals. They can be a confusing mix of the lighthearted and serious(2). They are roamers and seekers, and don’t commit in their relationships as easily as others.

now who do we know who are attached at the hip & have been through every major milestone in their adult lives together? 🤔🤔 i’ll echo what i said for Dan: every success they’ve achieved, all their self-growth... they’ve attained together or by each other’s sides. i’m not crying you are

P H I L - WHAT DOES THAT SPELL

Venus in Sagittarius men and women turn others on with their big smiles and laughs, their jokes, their grand schemes, their dreams, and their friendly, flirtatious behavior(1). They pride themselves on their open minds, but you may notice they can be judgmental too. They are threatened by inhibitions on the part of their lover, dullness, and emotional overkill. They are restless, and won’t put up with lovers who dwell on any one thing. When the going gets tough in their relationship, they have an overwhelming need to run away. Usually this only means getting out and experiencing something new before they come back, but sometimes it can be for good(2). They are attracted to people in love with life. You don’t need to be refined, polished, or graceful to win their favor(3).

aka Phil’s entire channel + why we all love him to fucking death. also, the friendly, flirtatious behavior thing?? omfg, they’ve got his fuckin number there

man, i mean. again: we don’t for sure know all of what happened in 2012. but we do know that their relationship is resilient. maybe that’s in part due to the distance they placed between themselves. who knows

good news, Dan :+)

Pleasing Venus in Sagittarius involves allowing them lots of room in the relationship to grow. Avoid getting stuck in a rut, and understand their need to move on. Learn to laugh, but take their rants and raves seriously(1). Avoid criticizing their beliefs, join them in debates, and philosophize along with them. When they feel the need for more experience, join them! Learn to look past their clumsiness with you and your feelings, and avoid cornering them or forcing them to commit(2).

“So what japes do we have planned for today, Phil?” Dan asked, a fond smile playing at his lips even as his eyes flicked skyward for a half-second. yeah, we see that all the time. Dan is very good at going along with whatever silly thing Phil wants, & that is important

Phil is clumsy... he might be clumsy with feelings sometimes too. that’s pretty normal for Aquarius (his sun sign) as well

Romantic adventures, as well as a straightforward–even blunt–approach to love(1), are themes with Venus in Sagittarius. Truth and higher meaning are things that take priority with Sagittarius. There can be some inconstancy and possibly a tendency to escape or flee when love is too complex, intricate, or needy(2).

hey remember 18 year old Dan tweeting to Phil like his life depended on it until he got a response? & then remember how fucking openly flirty Phil was with him all the time after that? pepperidge farm remembers

yikes. i mean i’m js: this is likely a tough point of contention that they deal with often in their relationship. Dan is a v emotional dude. Phil might find the need to detach himself from that intensity sometimes & i guarantee that Dan is Not having it. :/

They are usually sincere, upright, and straightforward about what they want. They enjoy getting to know a lover on a philosophical level, exchanging ideas, and experiencing things together(1).

again, i really feel like this is their whole life together. they’re always bouncing ideas for content off of each other, talking about pop culture & world events, & everything they experience (say it with me) they experience together.

Venus in Sagittarius people are not always especially attached to personal possessions. They are not known to be especially frugal(1), although some of them equate money with freedom, and will gladly put money aside for travel.

js

all in all: these boys work stupid well together. in love, creativity, friendship, & their professional life. it’s literally written in the stars. sorry i don’t make the rules

Venus Signs - Cafe Astrology

[1dreality]

“I feel sorry for whoever’s sitting behind my dad,” laughed a young girl five minutes before Niall Horan took the Greek Theatre stage in Los Angeles.

There were a lot of dads in attendance on Tuesday night, but perhaps unlike most occasions in which fathers must escort daughters to pinups' gigs, these dads likely shared the enthusiasm for Mr. Horan's songbook. It makes sense, given the earnest American soft-rock songwriting that defined Horan's 2017 No. 1 debut album Flicker, which came along citing influences in The Eagles and Fleetwood Mac. Those are the daddiest of Dad Rock influences. Can you imagine the delight to all dads, suddenly given the green light to serenade their daughters with “Lyin' Eyes”? He played that well, young Horan.

This was the first of two nights for him and he wasn't shy in reminding the crowd how dreamy it felt -- particularly given he only lives up the road. He mentioned this twice, to deafening shrieks, of course. “It’s really handy 'cause I literally live 20 minutes away,” he said in his dad jeans and his dad short-sleeved shirt and his signature coif. “If you want, we could start some kind of a residency.” They would want that very much. Eleven months ago, Horan was here as a spectator, watching his former One Direction compatriot Harry Styles play for the opening leg of Styles' first solo tour. It was a month before Horan's own album release. Where Styles' record was front-loaded with promotion, the singles soon stopped coming. Horan, however, has played a steadier game. Horan is just steadier all around. The downside is that he doesn't have Styles' riskier swoon factor. Horan's safer approach won him “Slow Hands,” though, and an enormous U.S. radio smash, topping the Pop Songs airplay chart back in October. Had Styles bagged “Slow Hands,” perhaps it would have been game over.

It was show time at the Greek, and the screams for Horan were not as deafening as those for Styles. But it was a loud, unified whistle of stress and elation nonetheless. A blue light filled the stage and Celtic strings rang through the naked humid air as the Irishman sauntered on, a gorgeous red guitar strapped around his cheery frame. Horan has often been considered the “musical one” of his former boy band. He is always behind an instrument, usually a guitar. On Tuesday night, he switched to piano at one point for the non-album track “So Long” to show some variation. For the opener, though, he was all electric, fingering the strings and screwing his face as he belted out single “On the Loose.” That's a song that wears its Mac influence on its sleeve, yet falls more on the side of The Corrs (which is truly no bad thing).

When Horan auditioned on The X Factor eight years ago, Simon Cowell ridiculed fellow judge Louis Walsh for saying “people will like him because he's likable.” Walsh was right: Horan is so likable. Maybe too likable. As likable as an apartment with perfect air conditioning. You can't not like him. Despite his likability, he is not a natural solo star. He’s a player. Onstage, he shone most when pandering to the great chemistry he had with his merry band of English and Irish men, including a violinist and a pianist. You can see that he might be the member of One Direction most ready to get the band back together. His impetus for performing seems tied to the idea of sharing, not owning. Of course, the crowd weren't thinking about that. They knew all the verses and all the choruses and all the guitar solos too, relentlessly jumping up and down in the floor section and heeding to Horan's clap-along instructions.

The songs on Flicker fit him like a glove. They're natural and unforced, rendering him the one solo star post-One Direction who makes it look like it's no biggie. “Well good evening, Los Angeles, California -- holy shit!” he said by way of introduction. “You sold this one out for me. You’re absolute legends! Lovely stuff! All right.” Horan shares Styles’ provincial authenticity, seeming remarkably unaffected, considering the roller-coaster ride that must have come with being in one of history’s biggest pop machines. His sense of self remains intact. It may sound schmaltzy at times on the likes of “The Tide” (recalling peers such as James Bay or Shawn Mendes) and “This Town,” but it also sounds like Irish folk rock and childhood nostalgia. It sounds like the music Horan genuinely loves and has always loved.

His oeuvre isn’t very diverse, but it’s consistent and comforting. Vocally, he’s improved his transatlantic croon to a point where he can carry a full band. When he dedicated the first of two covers to his “favorite singer of all time” Bruce Springsteen and strummed out “Dancing in the Dark” onstage alone, it was a sweet moment -- but it was not an interpretation of a classic, rather an appreciation. The second cover was Tom Petty’s “Won’t Back Down.” Horan plays music because it makes him feel happy. Watching him enjoy it is like stumbling upon an open-mic performance and feeling glad for the singer.

Aware of the need to pull out some showbiz stops too, the evening called upon Texan support act Maren Morris to duet on country-tinged pop song “Seeing Blind.” They had an impromptu giggle onstage together -- evidence that Horan's show isn't compulsively over-rehearsed. Similar to Styles, Horan also brought out One Direction numbers of his own choosing: an acoustic version of “Fools Gold” and a souped-up electric spin on “Drag Me Down.”

For Horan, headlining here was a “bucket list” moment. “Playing under the stars in the hills of Los Angeles,” he said, romantically. “Thanks for making this little Irish fella’s dreams come true.” His is a casual intimacy. When talking up his favorite album track -- the title song -- he said he wrote it fast. “They don’t usually come that quick, not gonna lie,” he laughed. Asking the crowd to stick their phones in their pockets, he appealed for them to “go to that place in your head where this song takes you, and if you need to cry, do it now.” A fan screamed: “YES! I LOVE CRYING!”

Unlike Styles, Horan doesn’t have any preciously topical slogans (i.e., “treat people with kindness”), just this endless pit of inherent niceness. It feels less protected, somehow freer. The crowd needn't be told to be whoever they want to be; they just are, singing their hearts out when Horan cued them. It's during “Drag Me Down” that you realize he’s the One Directioner who’s tied his solo career seamlessly to the group's back catalog. Maybe he was always the truest of them all. Earlier in the show, he talked up his Californian influences. The first concert he went to was The Eagles at the age of 4. He doesn't know for sure, but he said he figured those guys have played here too. (They haven't, but Don Henley and other solo Eagles have.) “That’s why I moved here,” he said, before leaving the stage for that 20-minute journey back to his house.

[tumblunni]

Also, randomly, what do you guys wish you could see in a farming/life sim/village of friends type game? Yknow, like the vague nebulous genre of stuff that harvest moon and animal crossing fall into. if you’ve played that sort of stuff, what’s your fave bits or features you think could be more expanded or stuff they’ve never had that you wish they did?

For me the biggest one is (obviously) adding LGBTQ representation! It’s been so long, guys, seriously we can’t still be saying gay marriage is ‘too controversial’ for a mainstream game? I mean SV became super successful! You can’t just say ‘well it only got away with it because its an indie game’ when its a friggin indie game that toppled sales charts amoung way higher budget stuff and is still super popular years after release. (and still getting updates, because the creator is awesome!)

Another random thing I want to see more is the rest of the town being fleshed out too, not just the romanceables. It’s always super sweet when the romanceables have family members you can befriend too, and get an even happier marriage day because of it. I fuckin SCREAMED at my 3DS when I married Dylas in RF4 and he and Porcoline admit that they see each other as father and son during the wedding reception like HOLY HELL YES! God I loved the restaurant family so much, I seriously chose my final batchelor because i wanted that big ol goofball chef as a father-in-law! (and also it made me less sad about rejecting arthur if i married his brother or sister, somehow. my logic doesn’t make much sense!) And its just great when there’s npcs who aren’t even connected to any romanceables, yet still get a fully fleshed out friendship route and a part in main story events. In RF4 I honestly felt like my story was already complete without even marrying anyone, there was so much meaty content for friends-only routes and so much stuff to do aside from dating. My marriage was just a happy postgame thing to brighten up the super difficult bonus dungeons :3

Oh!!! And connected to that!! I’d love to see more ‘romance rivals’ and ‘rival romances’! It was cool to have some sort of goal to work towards in a very chilled out game, and I especially liked when there were multiple rivals for different things i.e farming and romancing and fishing or whatever. And when they had multiple personalities! like some genuinely competitive ones and some friendly ones. I’ve only actually seen that in Princess Maker and i’ve been told that it does happen in some harvest moons but i was just unlucky enough to have started with ones that didn’t. And I really like the idea of rival romances, which i’ve been told was a thing in one or two HMs and then never again. It’s so cool that the npcs can hook up with other people if you don’t pick them?? And it would be so neat if other changes happened during the marriage/pregnancy timeskip! like maybe new people move in or characters who didnt marry other people might get a new job or some other status quo changing thing? And it was neat in RF2 that you could play as your child, even if it was kinda limited.

Also!!! more child!!! love child!! child!!! do things with your child!! And bring back them actually having changes in appearance to fit with who you married, that was a really cool way of making it feel like your choices had an impact. Also just was VERRYY CUUUUTE

[hungry4apples]

Just a Chemical Reaction

Is there any truth to Rick’s scathing words? A peek into Rick’s past life with Beth’s mother. (fluff/angst; mostly pre-canon)

Ch 2: You

I thought of you. I haven’t for years. Or maybe I have, drowning any memory of you with the click of a beer can tab. Always at the back of my mind. Stupid, arrogant, stick-up-your-ass, cold-hearted bitch, you.

 FF.net / Ao3

Words: ~1K

Rating; T+

I had long-since relinquished any romantic notions of a prison cell, a clichéd hum of a harmonica, a tally chart engraved into the walls, a shiv made of a sharpened spoon. Instead of orange I wore green, instead of a cell I’d been graced with an agonizing lack of circulation in my limbs from being strapped to the wall, like an action figure in a box. They woke me at odd hours for their interrogation sessions, stabbing their probes into my brain, getting freaky with my hippocampus.

Memories flickered by. Old ones that lay dormant for years—and should’ve stayed that way—coming back to life only now in this space-age torture chamber, sober and suffering from withdrawal symptoms. The old house, generic and humourless, standing there at the curb of the cul-de-sac and reminding me too much of the place I grew up in. Running past the car decorated in streamers, cans on strings and JUST MARRIED spray paint and climbing into the UFO parked next to it instead. The past became closer, almost tangible, while the present stretched far into the distance.

I thought of you.

I haven’t for years. Or maybe I have, drowning any memory of you with the click of a beer can tab. Always at the back of my mind.

Stupid, arrogant, stick-up-your-ass, cold-hearted bitch, you.

In the end, you and I barely spoke. If at all, it was through Beth.

By the counter, you’d dip your teabag into your mug with a precise tedium that had become a nuisance to me. The mind-boggling exactitude of everything you did, your words, your movements. Once exciting when we were teenagers, ping-ponging come-backs as we played hooky, had evolved into a minefield, one misstep away from divorce at any moment. 

‘Beth’s mathletes tournament is today,’ you said by the sink without moving your gaze from the driveway.

It was breakfast, for me at least, lunch for you. I shuffled around to get my cereal. Wordlessly, you moved to get out of my way, but I could still feel the weight in the air, the expectation of an answer. I opened the fridge, sniffed the orange juice carton and grimaced.

‘This’s gone bad.’  

‘She’s worked really hard for this, you know.’ Your grip tightened around the mug.

‘Mmmhmm.’ I slurped on my spoonfuls of Cherrios, singling out the ones that haven’t gone soggy yet.

Your mug slammed against the countertop tile. The door shut. You left me alone with my cereal.

I never relished being Beth’s idol as much as you thought I did. The pressure, frankly, I could’ve done without.

Beth never asked me to attend her mathletes game, her soccer games, her dumb kiddy theatre productions when all she did was stand at the back with a crayon tree taped over her shoulders. And the thing about me is: if you never ask, I never answer. Simple. People should know better.

These days it was rare that we ever crossed paths before she left for school. One day she did, sporting a Walkman at her hip, obnoxiously neon spongy headphones wrapped around her hair. If she did this every morning, I’d have no idea. I knew, though, that this was the kind of thing that would normally trigger a lecture in you, but when you saw Beth, you were silent. So, this was normal.

‘You have drool on your lip,’ was all she greeted me with as she passed me by for her Pop Tart. Meanwhile, you stood off to the side, leaning against the counter in your work clothes, cradling a coffee mug. Looking down at me from afar.

You had turned her against me. That’s the mantra of every divorced-father-to-be, isn’t it? Though if I’m being honest, I don’t know who turned who against who. I watched as Beth sat across from me, looking like she’d rather be anywhere else, not talking to either of us. I remembered how she used to run into my arms at every chance she got, the sight of me so rare and precious to her. Here, over a decade later, she picked at her Pop Tart, reluctantly eating it crumb by crumb. Every now and then she’d steal a glance up at me, a distant look in her eyes as she took me in. Her father, she probably thought. What a bizarre loser he was. Her father who would soon abandon her twice more than he already had. She looked away.

I cleared my throat. ‘H-hey Beth.’ She didn’t look up. ‘Wanna hear a j-o-oke?’

She stayed silent, unmoving, but I took the fact that she didn’t make to get up or leave as encouragement. ‘When you go to the bathroom, you’re American. When you leave the bathroom, you’re American.’ She didn’t say anything but seemed attentive. ‘What are you when you’re in the bathroom?’

‘What?’ I ignored the bored scepticism in her voice.

‘EUROPEAN!’

Beth frowned but after a moment, as if mulling it over in her head, let out a loud, clumsy guffaw. Her gangly adolescent limbs moved about as she laughed, putting a hand to her mouth as she tried to cover the mess of crumbs.

Maybe it was just nervous laughter, releasing some pent-up tension, maybe she was humouring me. Faking it. It wasn’t my best, really. I’d heard it from some robot on G-87, left the bar thinking it was hilarious, but it was probably meagre at best to sober ears. But I’d made Beth happy. For whatever reason, she was happy again. I didn’t want overthink it, so I didn’t and I went on, ‘Y’see because, you’re peeing… and European…’ 

‘Yeah, yeah,’ said Beth still chuckling, but slowly catching her breath.

‘Yeah, it’s-it’s a play on words, see—’

‘Yes, Dad. I got it.’

 You did your best to stand still, stay quiet but when I dared sneak a glance in your direction, I noticed your lips curled, small wrinkles formed around your eyes. I had almost forgotten your smile. But it had vanished as soon as it came. You looked down at your watch. Laughter had ground to a halt. Weighed down by silence. Beth swallowed, then looked down at her wrist, picking at some scab I’d never noticed. The memories returned, the ones that reminded us why this was, why it didn’t happen anymore. 

‘Beth, we should get going,’ you said ushering our daughter away from me like I was a wild zoo animal. Beth, for her part, acknowledged me even less, replacing the headphones to her ears and pressing the volume button until I could faintly hear the Smashing Pumpkins from where I still sat with my sunny side ups. The two of you walked out the door, off to school, to work. I was left alone again.

Our little trio, each sequestered to their own heads.

 It was the middle of the night for you, early evening for me. I’d come to a decision. 

This was as lucid as I’d felt in years and yet I could already feel you deriding me for being tipsy. Funny how I was preparing for an argument, though if my plan were to follow through, there wouldn’t be one. 

‘Watcha doing?’ Your tone was deceptively chipper. Your silhouette in the doorway made me jump, though I was quick to hide it. I must not have been quiet enough, haphazardly stuffing the UFO to the brim, the clanks of metal on metal echoing up to your bedroom where you practised a conventional circadian rhythm.  

‘Was just about to head out for some ice cream.’ I couldn’t tell whether my unoriginality was a deliberate irony; an inside joke so pretentious even the insiders didn’t understand, or a sincere ineptitude when it came to lying to you. 

You cocked your head, ‘It’s a little late for that, isn’t it?’ I shrugged. The ruse was pointless. ‘I have something else in mind.’ I acquiesced to trail behind you, still planning to carry on once you’d fallen asleep.

You were quiet as you led me to our rooftop, decorated with two lawn chairs and a cooler. This isn’t what I’d expected. With Beth off to camp, I knew this would’ve been the perfect occasion to get it out of your system, a few scathing remarks there, a scream here, but you were calm, in a way that almost felt genuine were it not tinged with weariness. 

The setting was more romantic than either of us had dared to venture since high school. The cooler full of beer was a surprise, you’d long-since stopped drinking with me when it became obvious I couldn’t hold my liquor. As we sat down on those ungodly uncomfortable chairs, I felt a wave of nostalgia for when we first moved here. Sipping on Coke on the lawn, running through the sprinklers, getting kicked out of the theatre because our sarcasm was too loud, when you’d still humour an escapade through intergalactic customs, when we still joked about whether Gear Heads called them doctors or engineers. Life was lighter then.

You leaned into the cooler to fetch two beers, offering one to me. Facing the moon, you pulled the tab and tipped the can to your lips. You swallowed. We sat as the cicadas chirped, until finally you spoke.

‘We aren’t enough for you.’ “We” was you and Beth, I remember when it was you and me. You left no room for disagreement, you didn’t need to. It wasn’t like you to shatter the bubble of illusion we’d created, tended to lovingly like a second child. Not even a trace of performative anger. Just resignation. Sadness. I could only stare, unopened can in my hands. You turned to me with a pained look. ‘Why?’

You were uncharacteristically candid, and so I returned the favour. ‘I dunno.’

‘What’s out there that you won’t give up on, too?’

‘I don’t know.’ I said it a little quicker, impatient. Irritated that my motives were so transparent to you. But you were right.

We stayed there for hours, enjoying the novelty of getting drunk together again, though we both knew it was also the last time. And for a while, I didn’t think of returning to the garage.

When next we spoke, it wasn’t so light-hearted. Tension thickened the air. I looked up to find you standing a good few feet away from me, at arms’ length. Your devil-may-care smirk, your annoyed “Oh what’s Rick done this time” sigh of frustration were gone. Brows furrowed, pupils small as pins, you were holding your breath, scared. I sat there and wondered, if for once, I should take something seriously. But there was no point.

We were strangers. You’d found out one thing too many about what I did without you. You had morals and I didn’t. You were good and I wasn’t.

It was only a few million. A civilisation so far from here most humans didn’t have a concept of what they looked like. Not like you knew them personally enough to mourn. Your lips tightened. You looked like you wanted to run away from me and I turned my back to you. It wasn’t about what we did say anymore, all about what we didn’t. 

Screw that shit.

The second time, I told myself, I’d be quiet. But it didn’t matter. You weren’t home to hear me back out of the driveway. I’d awoken one afternoon to an empty house. A vindictive part of me wanted to wait, wanted to see the hesitation in your posture. Wanted the chance to hear you call after me.

But you’d made your decision, and I mine.

[mansae-for-seventeen-blog]

Hey so I was going through your edits and now that the members are more open around the camera would you still place the members in the same hogwarts houses? Cause I feel like minghao is more slytherin than hufflepuff

So I’m probably going to give you a longer answer than you wanted but only because I am obsessed with Harry Potter, in the same way I am with svt. Now remember as I answer this ask, it’s based on assumption of what the members have shown to the public. There is no way I can interpret any of them to the full extent because I don’t know them. 

So keeping that in mind, let’s look at the cores of each house.

Gryffindor: Courage, Chivalry, Daring, Nerve, Recklessness, Stubborn

Slytherin: Ambition, Cunning, Resourcefulness, Cleverness, Determination

Hufflepuff: Hardworking, Loyal, Unafraid of Toil, Patience, Kindness, Fair Play

Ravenclaw: Intelligence, Wisdom, Creativity, Originality, Individuality

Now, I am just gonna go down the list...

SeungcheolNo one can deny he’s thick and through a Gryffindor. He is stubborn, stands up and protects his members. Always willing to sacrifice himself for them. 

Jeonghan:Looking at Jeonghan, I’m tempted to put him in Slytherin because he’s cunning when he’s cheating in every game. But he’s not cheating to get ahead, I feel like he could care less about the prize. He genuinely cheats because he likes to mess with people and think it’s hilarious. He is a very Sirius Black-esque type person. Very dramatic in every situation, can be a leader when needed. But also very chivalrous. He’s always putting those younger ahead of himself. He truly cares for them, but there is also a stubborn streak as you can see he holds with his 95-line. So overall, I still would place Jeonghan in Gryffindor.

JoshuaI’m always juggling whether he would be a Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff. But even though he plays the guitar and he helps arrange songs, I don’t think it’s that same creative drive that someone like Woozi or Soonyoung get. He’s more hardworking, patient, and kind. He has improved tremendously I feel the most in his dancing and singing, and that is just hardwork and being patient with himself. So, Joshua--Hufflepuff.

JunTo me he will always scream Slytherin. He’s an ambitious person by nature and you can see that drive when he dances. Furthermore, he’s explored different outlets acting, martial arts, singing, dancing I feel most of all because he enjoys it and because he wants to be the best. He has this cocky persona and he is very clever when the situation calls for it.

Soonyoung:Ravenclaw, through and through. Highly intelligent, bright, and creative. Every choreograph he produces his breathtakingly beautiful and individualized. He understands several choreography components such as playing with space, levels, position, and props. 

WonwooI had him placed in Slytherin before but now looking at Wonwoo, I feel as if he is more of a Hufflepuff. I just don’t see that ambitious drive in him to be the absolute best,rather he seems to want best for the group and to self-improve for the group rather than his own needs if that makes sense. So that dedication and patience manifests itself more as a Hufflepuff.

JihoonStill this boy is a Ravenclaw to me. He is the most creative out of Seventeen with his music composition skills. Some might mistake his need for creating music as a way to score first in the charts, but I don’t think he thinks that way. He genuinely enjoys doing it, after all he called himself a foolish composer.

SeokminHe is a toss-up between a Gryffindor and Hufflepuff for me. But I think I will still place him in Hufflepuff. He’s too patient and kind (even hey you ugly people comment) plus, he’s mentioned before he always wants to improve his vocal abilities for the group.

MingyuI had originally placed him in Gryffindor but he’s too much of a giant scared puppy. Plus, I feel Mingyu is more of a Hufflepuff. I think Mingyu knows he’s not the best rapper or dancer but that doesn’t stop him from trying his best and working hard to achieve his goals. 

MinghaoMinghao shifts from Slytherin and Hufflepuff. He’s a lot more sassy as we have seen since he started learning more Korean. However, after the episode where Minghao called Soonyoung a punk, I find him still to be a Hufflepuff. When Soonyoung rejected his idea, Minghao fell back and didn't speak up until their choreo instructor said it. I think that’s what sets him apart as a Slytherin. I feel like if he was he would have pushed it. Plus looking at other Slytherin qualities, he’s not very cunning. He’s a lot more kind. 

SeungkwanI still find him a Slytherin. I find him to be the type of person who likes to push himself to self-improve his vocals. I know he’s mentioned that he considered Seokmin his rival and he doesn’t anymore, but I am confident that biggest rival he has is himself. Plus, this boy is super cunning and resourceful, just look at his wit.

VernonI had him placed in Ravenclaw before but after Vernon himself said he’s a Gryffindor. I think he’s right. There was that recklessness that had him jumping to go on Show me the Money, when he wasn’t ready, but again that took a lot of courage. Plus, I feel like he’s the type of guy to do his own thing. 

ChanI had him in Ravenclaw but I think he’s a Slytherin. He’s lately been pushing more of his choreo with Soonyoung and Soonyoung doesn’t seem like the type of guy to give up control so easily. Dino seems like a smooth talker and resourceful to manipulate his hyungs too. Plus this boy seems to want to dominate every unit and so far he’s been doing it flawlessly. 

This makes me want to rewrite my edits and write a svt hp one shot. (hint)