#this concludes my rant ty for listening

[kaz-playz]

so what languages do you think the states speak besides english? :D

For states who have dying or extinct native languages -depending on their population and endangerment level- are headcanoned as no longer able to speak them or not as fluent in them. Because the states are meants to be reflection of theyre population. Let me know if i handled this poorly of if something sounds off and you want me to clarify!

So like you said, we have the states that badically everyone agrees speak spanish (FL, NM, AZ, CA, TX)

They all use mexican spanish, but they all know spain spanish (there is a difference)

And then loui with french (creole french)

Then the more unexpected spanish speakers - UT and NV.

I think the states with the highest Native populations speak/understand them. Like Hawai'i speaks Hawai'ian, japanese, and English

And Alaska speaks, Eskaleut and Tsimshianic languages along with several other indigenous languages, before moving on to Russian and English

Texas (if you headcanon system texas) has a translator living in his head at all times because houstonians speak a shit ton of languages (and while ist not the city that speaks the most, i bet houston is the only one willing to translate bcs Los Angeles and NYC are yk. Them.) so he knows all the gossip, he's just above spreading it.

Illinois speaks french (like french-french) and used to speak Irenwe As did missouri, indiana, and ohio. Illinois also speaks polish.

I also think NY and most of the NE speak dutch but NY canonically speaks italian.

AZ and NM also speak Navajo.

Most of the midwest speaks german, with the exeptions of the states with the highest indigenous population as they speak both the indigenous language and the settler languages.

OK speaks spanish, and shawnee

-PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE! Do your own research on this stuff. This is just surface level, do not take these loose headcanons and run with them just because they have wikipedia links attached! Look into this further if it intrests you.

[phantomsalamander]

Flower husbands song PSA

I feel the need to tell all my fellow flower husbands enjoyers about the song “Sunflower” by Emma Stevens. It is just. So them coded.

This is just the chorus:

“You told me / sunflowers stare at the sun / And how the Milky Way / Is the galaxy called home / I thought the moon was a crescent / you showed me I was wrong / But where should this sunflower stare / now that you’re gone?”

like pLEASE. It 1) uses flowers which is a flower husbands thing ofc, 2) you can’t tell me that “where should this sunflower stare now that you’re gone” isn’t Scott talking to Jimmy’s grave after he died, like, COME ON

And then one of the opening lines is “Behind the house that I grew up in / our beautiful escape”

Like I have this idea in my head that Scott and Jimmy have to fight and make alliances and everything, but once they get back to their little valley they can fully relax and “escape” from the pressure of this death game.

That concludes my rant, this song is great and please listen to it ty

[silverwhiteraven]

Borne of the Stars - Chapter 2 - MLB Kryptonian AU

[ Posted on Ao3 ] [ Chapter 1 ] [ Chapter 3 ]

[A/N: Okk, so this was SUPPOSED to be a 'Kara is like a Big Sister/Mentor' fic, but unforeseen influences have caused me to swap out the intended Kara from the Supergirl TV series for the Kara in the DC Super Hero Girls 2019 cartoon. Basically... I've become a Karanette shipper and it's now the current shipping goal. Don't worry, it probably won't become the main focus of the fic, likely a slow-burn, and the endgame ship MIGHT change depending on how things go. And Marinette still gets her mentoring from Kara, just, a lot more awkwardly at first. Now, onward!! ]

[Summary: There they are, the Soups! Supes? Eh, sounds the same. Either way, it's time Marinette meets them, and a little progress is made. ]

Marinette fell back against a corner of the wall, the ground shaking under her feet and causing her to lose her footing. The large piece of debris she had taken refuge behind shifted as more pieces of cement and stone fell against it, creating a makeshift lean-to that protected her from the rest of the falling chunks of building. Unfortunately, as the ground settled and the rain of Daily Planet rubble ceased, it left her buried and swallowed in darkness. 

She held her breath, waiting, listening for her shelter to start collapsing in on her, but it held. She sighed, and when she took a breath, coughed as the grainy dust filled her lungs. As she fully collapsed to the ground, she quickly shrugged off her outer-shirt and held it over her nose and mouth, tying it in place behind her head. A few more clear breaths, and she settled down fully. 

Now was not the time to panic, she knew that, but it didn't stop her heart from hammering in instinctual fear of potential injury. Or worse… 

The reverberations of a yell knocked her from her panicked musings, and she looked up, though there was nothing for her to see but more darkness. The voice was rather clear, though, as though it was being made to travel far and through any obstacle, even the broken pieces of a building.

“Kal! Did you get the bastard who hit the Daily Planet?” 

The voice was feminine with a hint of a husky tone, and Marinette automatically pictured them as someone who would fit well with combat-style boots and a jean or leather jacket. Though something seemed a tad familiar about the name Kal.

“Language, Supergirl, but yes. They’re currently in D.E.O. hands, they can handle things from here.”

Supergirl? Now that was a name she recognized a bit more. Alya had raved about her the moment she finished explaining who Majestia was after she first transferred to their school almost a year ago. The hero was a fresh new mystery by all of half a year at that point, appearing both on her own as well as alongside Superman. The reporter had gone on a tangent about seeing signs of Supergirl not getting the credit she was due, her accomplishments often credited to the more well known Superman. 

Yet it explained why she recognized the name, ‘Kal’. It was what Supergirl was often heard calling the other hero. ‘Kal-El’ was the full name, if her memory of Alya-brand hero-rants was correct, revealed some years back by other aliens of his same origin hellbent on attempting world domination. 

“Oh, goodie,” Supergirl declared. “Then we can do a final sweep for anyone in need of saving, right?” 

“Of course. Did you already clear this area?” Superman questioned, and there was an answering scoff. 

“Yeah, I was just getting to it. All the civilians seemed to have cleared out when the planet started falling, I don’t-” She cut off, and there was a moment of silence when Marinette realized she could have been calling for help. 

No, scratch that, she thought as she took another breath that smelled of gravel. Supergirl called out once more, “Superman,” voice now laced with a newfound urgency, “there’s someone trapped under there.” No calling for help, Marinette’s internal musing concluded, damaging my lungs when the heroes are already here is a stupid idea.

“Where?” Superman’s voice was instantly attentive, clearly ready to take action.

“Up against the building,” Supergirl answered, just as ready. “Do you see her?”

A pause, and then, “Yeah, I see her, let’s move, we need to get her out.”

“Already on it,” came Supergirl's proclamation, accompanied by a loud, metallic creaking.

“Need any-”

“Nope, I got this baby cousin!” There was a loud sigh in response to that, though the scrape of moving concrete made it clear that the banter wasn't getting in their way of working.

“I’m older than you,” he grumbled, not as loudly as before, but it was closer now to Marinette, and still said clearly enough for her to hear.

“Not according to our birthdays back home!” Supergirl sing-songed, though clearly much further away now, and it was punctuated by another dulled clang of metal. Marinette assumed that the hero had just finished moving the large decorative brass planet over into the open area of the park, out of the way. 

A grunt is Superman’s response to the tease, and more stone grinds together loudly as it’s moved. It only takes a moment before the noise is joined by more from another section, and Marinette relaxes just a bit knowing that both superheroes are working to free her. She wishes she could help them, but she knew the best way to do that was to stay put and not touch anything that could collapse her shelter onto her head. 

Marinette coughed again as a dusting of debris sprinkled down on her head, and the external digging from Supergirl’s side seemed to get just a bit faster, closely followed by Superman’s. 

A crack of light split the darkness from above her on her right, and Marinette couldn't help but crack a smile at the excited whoop Supergirl let out as the hole grew a little larger. It wasn't long before the area around the main piece of concrete shielding Marinette was clear enough for the big chunk to be shifted from above her and completely uncover her little space of safety. 

A head of shoulder length, ruffled blonde hair popped up from behind the slab of concrete, grinning triumphantly down at Marinette. The accompanying steel blue eyes shone just as brightly. “Why hello there, cutie,” Supergirl greeted, “need a hand?”

Marinette barely had time to comprehend what the other teen said and blush brilliantly through the dust in embarrassment before the slab was once more moving. It tilted away as Supergirl released it, and a slight grunt could be heard from Superman, most likely now the one supporting all its weight. It continued to shift until it was fully lifted up, and Superman, indeed carrying it, was moving it away to the edge of the debris field. 

Supergirl, floating in the air, flew closer to Marinette, smile more toned down but still warm and welcoming. The hero reached out a hand towards her and elaborated, “Let’s get you out of all these rocks, darlin’.” Her voice has a brief accent on the last word, and Marinette bets it to be a picked up trait. “It really can't be all that comfortable, yeah?” the hero finally adds. 

With a hesitant nod, Marinette reaches back towards the hero. She can’t help but yelp as she’s tugged up to her feet. Then she yelps once more as Supergirl dips down further and pulls Marinette forward even more, straight into the hero’s arms where she's held securely against Supergirl as she floats back upward.

She clung tightly to the hero, and Marinette’s eyes widened as she looked down, staring at all the destruction littering the once clear street. She looks upwards, and can see the damage to the Daily Planet’s upper levels. She’s drawn back to the debris as Superman rejoins them, giving a cursory glance to his cousin and her charge before making quick work of the remaining mess that sat in the way of the main doors to the Daily Planet’s lobby. 

“Uhm,” Marinette spoke up hesitantly, glancing at Supergirl, still holding her and flying above the mess. “Should we-?”

“Help? Nah, Soup’s a big boy, he’s got this; I wouldn't worry about it. Besides, Buttercup, I doubt he would let you help anyways, after being trapped like that. I sure wouldn't. And if I was in your place, I wouldn't be wanting to, either.”

Gods, what's with all the nicknames? Marinette couldn't help her continued, everlasting embarrassment at the whole situation, and the nicknames didn't help much. She at least found solace in realizing they were likely just a force of habit in the hero, seeing as how she was calling Superman by various ones, too. 

She went back to watching the older hero working below them, clearing a quick path from the doors into the clearer areas. Her brow furrowed just a bot, it seemed like they had dropped back down a bit in the air, but not by much. 

Superman was quick to join them in the air once done, and they flew higher as though it was the superheroes’ unconscious instinct to do so, just to get some distance from the civilians. Marinette held tighter to Supergirl just in case.

“This was the only area with substantial damage from the fight,” Superman finally declares to Supergirl once they’re comfortable. “I’ll do a quick sweep of the city for any more trapped civilians, but we should be good from here on. Think you can handle her?” He gives an acknowledging nod to Marinette, and she shrinks a bit at the unexpected attention. 

“Oh, yeah,” was the confident reply as Supergirl held her just a little bit closer, and Marinette hoped it was just her imagination that the hero’s hold on her had been looser than it had started before the grip tightened. The closer hold still elicited a soft squeak from Marinette, and she was grateful that they either didn't notice or didn’t mind enough to point it out by saying something or looking at her. “I can handle this little sweetheart, no worries! Go do your hero thing.”

“Are you sure?” He checked, looking skeptical, but in a cautious way rather than one that was actually doubtful. It made sense, if Supergirl really was still green behind the ear with superheroing, he would need to make sure his mentoring was sticking.

“Did you check her for injuries?” He asked imploringly, clearly covering the bases he was used to.

“Oh! Right! Sapphire!” The addition of yet another nickname to the growing collection was giving the situation an odd sense of normalcy, and Marinette gave Supergirl a questioning look in answer. “We want X-Ray you to make sure you aren't hurt or anything like that. May I?”

Marinette nods, “Oh, sure,” she confirms, “I don't think anything hit me, though, I was pretty quick and I feel fine.”

“Mhm, mhm, yeah,” Supergirl absently acknowledged, already giving her a glance over. “Yeah, you look good to me, I’d even say pretty darn fi…” The almost flirtatious comment fades along with her grin as it transforms into a confused frown.

Tag List:  @eve-valution @weird-pale-blonde-person @kris-pines04 @soulmate-game @abrx2002 @amayakans @vixen-uchiha @heldtogetherbysafetypins @raisuke06 @dorkus-minimus @captainartsypants @mopester-is-here @moonlightstar64 @annabellabrookes

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 206: The Third Set Concludes

Previously on BnHA: Team TodoIidaShoujiRo battled Team TetsuHonePonySen TO THE DEATH, apparently. Shouto lost his fucking mind and went all out with his flames and set the whole fucking place on fire. But somehow Chintetsu was able to withstand it without fucking melting, and held his ground until Honenuki showed up and knocked Shouto unconscious with a falling streetlight pole. This was after he singlehandedly took out Ojiro and Shouji. It honestly looked like that was it for Team A, but then Iida zoomed back over and drop-kicked Honenuki in the face. He tried to carry Shouto to safety, but before they could make it to the clear, Honenuki (who conveniently stayed conscious just long enough to do this) melted the base of a big industrial chimney and told Tetsu to knock it down, which he did, right on top of Iida. So Iida is now dead, Todoroki is still unconscious and probably dying of hyperthermia, Honenuki is concussed, and congratulations Deku, I’ve finally gotten over that one fight where you systematically broke all your own fingers one by one, because this shit makes that look like a tickle fight.

Today on BnHA: With four students dead or dying before their eyes, the teachers opt to sit back and wait to see how the final moments of the battle will play out. Shouji, Ojiro, and Pony engage in a frantic struggle which results in Pony capturing Ojiro and tying up the score at 1-1. She then proceeds to wait out the clock, knowing that she can’t try to capture one of the other downed Team A kids without putting her own unconscious teammates at risk. So the deathmatch ends in a draw of all things, and the teachers generously decide to forego debriefing the kids for now in favor of getting them all some medical treatment before they actually do kick the bucket. Over in Recovery Girl’s office, Shouto, Iida, and Honenuki all bond over somehow feeling like they didn’t do enough, until RG kicks them all out, probably to call child protective services or something. The long-awaited fourth set then begins, and Team BakuJirouSatouSero gets ready to kick some ass. Bakugou is all “DEKU, JUST WATCH ME!” and I don’t know about Deku, but I’m all set for this. Get out there and show ‘em how it’s done, kiddo.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 223, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

lol for fuck’s sake

your teachers love you, children. I think

wow Iida is still conscious

“ow,” he says. I really don’t think Horikoshi knows how crushing injuries work

so now poor Iida is apologizing to the unconscious Todoroki and wishing he had been just one step faster

on the plus side, at least you weren’t one step slower. that would have been real bad

Vlad is gleefully saying that because Sen put up so much resistance, he successfully delayed Iida long enough for this chain of events to take place

Aizawa is chiding Vlad for his biased reporting. yes, Aizawa. that’s what you should be getting upset about here. got those priorities down pat

Mina says that if the status quo remains the same, class A will hold onto its 1-0 lead and win, but that doesn’t match up with my recollection of events. Shouji and Ojiro were captured by Honenuki, presumably

or maybe not, because now we’re cutting back to Shouji who’s in the midst of battling things out with Pony

now we’re flashing back to see how this all came about, and I’m just gonna post it rather than try to sum it up

(ETA: in fairness to Shouto and Honenuki who have so far bore the brunt of my sarcastic ranting for taking things too far, let’s not overlook this scene where Ojiro is all “even if you stab me!!!” and Pony is like “okay!” and actually does stab him. hero training. fun times!)

holy shit, she took him out even when it was two against one. damn, Pony

so okay, apparently the score is tied now at 1-1

jesus christ Pony is quickly becoming the fourth-quarter MVP out here

by the way, I thought all the melted stuff was supposed to go back to normal after Honenuki passed out, so why does it still look the same? did it just harden again while still looking like that?

(ETA: I guess it must have. I have some questions now about how effective Honenuki would be in a situation where he actually had to try and keep property damage to a minimum. maybe tone it down just a bit in the future.)

but anyway, so if Pony can capture Todoroki and prevent A Team from nabbing Tetsu and Honenuki until the clock expires, they’ll win

but she’s worried she won’t be able to keep this up

I BELIEVE IN YOU PONY

I can’t believe Shouji is going to fucking blow it for the entire A Team. goddamn it Shouji

oh snap!

(ETA: whoops I originally had the wrong picture here. fixed!)

this is why Deku wants to be able to fly so badly. flying solves everything

aaand time is expiring!

wow I did not see this coming

I can’t believe all these kids nearly killed themselves over a stupid training match that ultimately ended in a fucking draw of all things

I hope Recovery Girl drops a big smokestack on Aizawa and Vlad to see how they like it. for fuck’s sake

Kaminari is griping about how it’s not fair, but Shishida’s pointing out that what Pony did was a logical course of action. “running away and awaiting rescue”

yep. and on top of that, she did capture two members of the other team as well; she just didn’t make it back to Rat Principal Jail within the time limit

oh snap a wild IidaRaka moment!

from this angle we can all agree he would have 100% been crushed to death, yes?

anyway, I love how Ochako is always so considerate of his feelings. he doesn’t have enough people looking out for his mental state like that. Ochako is such a good friend and the two of them are so adorable I swear

damn, I was kind of looking forward to that. Shouto and Tetsu need to be chewed out for being reckless idiots, Honenuki needs to get his props (and also be chewed out), and Aizawa needs to seriously question what the hell Ojiro and Shouji were even doing that entire time

Deku says Iida was really cool out there, and WASN’T HE, THOUGH? he also needs to get lots of props! I should have called it Team IidaRoki because he was the true leader as it turns out. same with Team HoneTetsu

LOL

oh hey there Shouto

you’re not you when you’re hungry

god can you imagine. turns out he went off the fucking tracks like that just because he didn’t have a big enough lunch. forgot to eat his Soba O’s this morning

and it looks like Tetsu is also on his way out, but before he leaves he’s magnanimously telling Shouto that they match may have been a draw, but as far as he’s concerned he lost

meanwhile as far as I’m concerned, you both lost and need psychological evaluations

“let’s do this again sometime” oh jesus. they have learned nothing

time for some IidaRoki bonding!

you’re like fucking lightspeed you maniac. once you learn to control this shit you’ll be the fucking Flash. you’re like the only guy in this fight who actually crushed it, don’t be so hard on yourself kid

Shouto says Iida saved him though. and that he’s the one who screwed up

he says he could have attacked with his fire to begin with, but he’s gotten into a bad habit of opening with an ice attack

should I even bother at this point with the whole pointing-out-that-lethal-attacks-are-bad-for-so-many-obvious-reasons-though thing? I feel like I have more than established my feelings about that by this point. so I’ll just leave it

anyway, he says that Iida was plenty fast and he was the one who was too slow

okay, I don’t know about “slow”, but I am always here for baby Shouto flashbacks, flashbacks of the kids as young children admiring All Might, and moments where the kids decide they want to become heroes who can put everyone at ease! there is so much goodness in this scene, oh my god

IIDA STOP

YOU NEED TO COOL IT WITH THE USUAL HAND GESTURES FOR NOW OMG

does this count as another Hand Crusher incident. Shouto. what say you

anyway so Iida’s looking all thoughtful and renewing his own hero vows

I said vows as a joke but the way he says it really does sound just that formal and rehearsed though, doesn’t it?

LMAO

so as a result of this fight we’ve established that the hierarchy here is Iida = Honenuki > Todoroki. who could have seen this coming

lmao this kid is waaaaaay too fucking modest

well it’s nice to see that everyone is becoming friends

awww

these are good boys. stupid, but good

and now Recovery Girl is kicking them all out

AND YESSSS, NOW IT’S FINALLY THE MOMENT WE’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR

THE FOURTH SET!!!

YOU HEARD HIM SATOU SHUT YOUR TRAP!! IF HE SAYS IT’LL WORK IT’LL WORK!

lmao you guys. I don’t know if I’m gonna get much sleep tonight, because Bakugou is gonna have a fight. a real fight. that’s not against six-year-olds

Monoma is also excited!

okay but back-against-the-wall is exactly the type of situation that you never, ever, ever want to be up against Bakugou in

(ETA: he will shoot you in the fucking face.)

Monoma says he’s been looking forward to the 4th set, but unlike me he’s been looking forward to it because of Tokage! I don’t know who Tokage is, but hopefully they’re a good opponent! class B better be bringing that A game now! we don’t like to half-ass our wins!

OH NO

SUDDENLY I AM ALSO ROOTING FOR TOKAGE MAYBE LOL

EXCEPT NO! BECAUSE!!

EXCUSE ME WHAT. “DEKU, JUST WATCH ME”? LISTEN HERE MISTER, YOU CAN’T JUST GET ALL FIRED UP WITH YOUR EXCITED READY-FOR-BATTLE GRIN WHILE THINKING ABOUT DEKU WITHOUT ANY WARNING, YOUNG MAN. YOU WANT DEKU TO SEE HOW COOL YOU ARE, IS THAT IT. YOU CAN’T FUCKING WAIT

DO YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT ANYONE ELSE WHO’S WATCHING. FORGET SHOWING OFF IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILDHOOD HERO, ALL MIGHT, THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT DEKU’S WATCHING. and you’ve gone from being annoyed by his constant attention to fucking loving it, haven’t you. who here is the real shithead, though

also, guess who’s also fucking loving this. YEAH, IT’S ME. THAT’S RIGHT

Kacchan’s smiles are fucking contagious. like, this cocky, determined grin of his makes me also somehow feel cocky and determined. that’s some fucking charisma. that’s the type of shit that gets you to the top, kid. omg. let’s do this

[castcharmperson]

Speed Trap: Part IV

[Start]

This is by far the longest chapter, coming in at just over 3k. Also the most warning heavy chapter, featuring offscreen violence, kidnapping, arson, and general danger.

It wasn’t his final con, Taako decided, but tonight was his final night. Late nights were always busy, lots of cash to be made, but that was also when real crime tended to happen. He’d been calling Ren so frequently, he was worried she was starting to suspect him. She still took him seriously, always sent back up that he’d watch drive by, but her tone was shifting. He’d hear a pen scratching as he talked, taking notes that he was pretty sure weren’t station protocol. Besides, being around actual criminals was skeeving him out- Taako was may be breaking the law but he wasn’t like them.

He wasn’t like Lup or Kravitz either though, a fact he tried to remind himself of as he took his final bribe for the evening. Whoever this guy was didn’t seem to learn his lesson, speeding off again the second Taako was done with him.

“Asshole.” He should maybe follow him again. He didn’t get a license number to call in- the street lamp was too far away and the sliver of the moon was barely casting a glow. But what would be the point? There wasn’t any more cash to get and the guy had paid a generous donation to the ‘officer spring baseball fund’. No one else was on the empty highway. A little speeding wouldn’t really hurt anyone.

He was already back in his own car, flipping off his flashing light, when he heard tires screech. Turning on his brights along the dark road, he drove ahead only a half mile before seeing the car he’d just pulled over wrecked against the sign of an abandoned Pizza Hut. “What the fuck?”

Taako wasn’t about to jump out of his car and rush in, but something about this whole thing was weird. No one was left at the sight of the crash. Weirder still, light was coming from inside the Pizza Hut. Even if the windows weren’t boarded up, it wouldn’t be open at this hour.

There was a scream, decidedly not belonging to the guy he’d pulled over, and that was too much for Taako to sit around waiting on. He grabbing his flashlight from where he’d tossed it onto the passenger seat, killed the engine on his car, and ran out.

Looking over the wreck showed signs of a struggle. He had to do a double take, but it looked like someone had clawed through the backseat from the trunk. Another scream and he focused on the Pizza Hut. “Fuck, I do not steal enough to deal with this kind of shit,” but Taako crept forward, lowering his center of gravity and keeping out of view from the broken down door.

“Cam, you’ve got to stop screaming or we’re really going to have a problem.”

“Get off me, you sadistic fuck!“ There was the sound of a slap, then of duct tape ripping. Taako peered up, seeing the man he’d pulled over tying up someone apparently named Cam.

“Now now, we had a deal. And then you went and crashed my car.” The man stalked around Cam, circling, as though this was his own personal stage instead of an empty fast food joint. As he turned, for a split second, Taako was terrified they had locked eyes. He dropped down, panting as he scrambled for his cell phone and dialed for Ren.

There were footsteps and Taako ended the call before it could connect. He dodged away from the building, rolling along the gravel as he switched off his flashlight.

“Fuck, I don’t have time for this,” the man sounded put upon, like someone brought rain to his barbecue rather than interrupted his kidnapping. “Lydia’s only a few blocks down, we can walk.”

There was some pretty intense scuffling sounds, but Taako didn’t let curiosity get the better of him. The door to the Pizza Hut was kicked open, and the man was leading Cam out with his hands tied behind his back.

“Listen, Edward, Eddie, come on. Our deal is still good. You don’t have to do this. I can get you anything you want. I’ve got connections, you know that, keeping me alive will bring you so many more-“

“If you don’t shut up,” this Edward guy was so terrifyingly calm. There was a quick movement and Taako caught the glint of a knife. “I will shut you up. Understood, dear?”

Cam nodded and the pair started walking through the grass away from the abandoned lot.

Taako was shaking, sitting behind the corner of the crumbling building, gravel digging into the pants of his stolen uniform. He should get in his car and go home. Get in his car and maybe call Ren. Tell her about suspicious activity by the neighborhood he knew was a few blocks in the direction Edward and Cam were walking. He should turn around and pretend he was never here.

That Cam guy was probably scum, talking about connections, probably worked with this Edward and Lydia duo before they got sick of him. Taako owed him nothing. Taako didn’t owe anyone anything! He should go home.

Instead, he stood, following the pair through the tall grass, hiding in the shadows cast around street lamps while they walked through a set of cookie cutter houses, stopping at one. Cam and Edward walked up the porch, and Taako ducked behind a bush to get out his phone. With one last glance back, he froze. Edward definitely saw him this time. He paused in the doorway after pushing Cam inside. His eyes narrowed, then gave Taako a smile that made his skin crawl. Edward placed a single finger to his lips, winked at him, then turned to go inside.

“I’m going to die,” Taako concluded as he sank back down. He didn’t hang up on Ren for the second time, but he got no signal while hiding in this shrub. “I’m literally going to die.”

There was shouting in the house, nothing Taako could understand, but there was the sound of a car starting. “Fuck,” he didn’t have much time. Scrambling away from the bush, he ran to the door. He didn’t even need to pick the lock, Edward had left it open. “Ohmygod, ohmygod I’m going to die,” he whispered even as he pushed the door open, grateful there weren’t any squeaky hinges, and made his way into the house. It was empty, a lone couch stood with a sheet over it, but there was nothing else.

Lup had taken him to a party in this neighborhood, only a few months ago. Something her boss was hosting or whatever. When they left the party, he and Lup walked around the block to her car and laughed at how every single house they passed was the same. That night had been been full of people and different furniture, but the bones were the same as this house. Taako traced along the wall next to the stairs until he found the breaker box. At the party, it had been covered by the ugliest painting he’d ever seen. The host tried to justify that it was covering the equally ugly metal door to the fuses. “It’d be less ugly if I was looking at the door, ma’am.” He’d said and Lup had to choke down a laugh before she slapped him on the arm and apologized to her boss.

It had been a fun night. He wondered if he and Kravitz had only just missed running into each other.

Taako forced himself to focus, flipping down the switch labelled ‘garage’ just as the telltale sound of a mechanical door started to rise. It stopped, then slammed against concrete. “Old house, old power. Next time we’re breaking and entering for real,” someone who sounded almost like Edward shouted. A door slammed and there were footsteps come towards him again.

“I thought I was pretty clear. Keep quiet about this and we wont have any trouble. This looks like trouble.” Edward still sounded so calm. Taako didn’t think twice before slamming all the fuses, plunging the house into darkness. “Now that wasn’t very nice.”

Taako sprinted for the front door and slammed it behind him. Phone in hand, he tried calling the station again as he ran along the side of the house, ducking below the windows. When the line went through, he could have sobbed. “Ren, oh thank god, get Lup to Mirkwood Court in-“

“Who is this! You think I didn’t see you try to get a call in tonight? Think I haven’t listen to you fake an accent every other week? We do not encourage vigilantism in this city!”

“Ren, listen-“

“You think you’re so clever, don’t you?”

“Ren please! I need Lup-“

“I am going to track your number and-“ Whatever rant she was gearing up for stopped. “Sir, are you okay?”

“No! Ren, there is a hostage situation at 51 Mirkwood Court in Winter county. Please get Lup down here now!”

She sucked in a breath, sound crackling through the phone, drawing whatever dreadful conclusion as to how a civilian could know of a kidnapping. “Sir, please stay on the line, we’re sending someone to you right now.”

“It better be fucking Lup,” he hissed, scrambling around the back of the house as he heard the footsteps crunching on the dewy grass.

“She’s out of the office right now, but-“

“Then whoever you’re sending should pray they’re half as good as she is!”

“Sir, stay on the li-“ But Taako had already hung up. Any more sound and he was going to get caught. He looked back, expecting Edward to be towering over him. Instead, nothing. Then all the lights in the house turned on at the same time.

“We might as well close up here,” Edward said. Fuck, he sounded bored. Was chasing a potential witness not important enough to him? What was wrong with this guy? Taako crouched under one of the windows, watching as a woman of Edward’s height dragged Cam into the living room.

“You wanna do it?” She must be Lydia, Taako concluded, as she brought out a much larger knife.

“Oh no, I got to grab him, you can have this part.” They grinned at each other and there was something sickening about their joy right now. Footsteps clacked closer to the window and Taako dropped down again. “But make it quick, we’re going to have company soon.”

Taako’s hand was over his mouth, trying not to breathe too hard, trying not to sob, not to throw up. What the hell did he care what happened to this Cam guy? He called the cops, did all he could do. Why was he still here?

There was a swish, a slick sound, and a muffled scream that felt like it went on forever. Taako was definitely going to puke if he didn’t move right. now.

He should have ran around the back, ran to his car by the Pizza Hut, and gone home. Instead, he was at the front door again and he kicked it open. “This is the Neverwinter Police! Put your hands up!” He dropped his voice, brandishing his flashlight in a strobe, trying to give the illusion of having a weapon ready.

“Ruining all our fun,” Edward sighed, voice carrying through the house. “Lyd, go, I’ve got this.”

“What about Cam?”

“Oh, well, you know how old houses are. So easy to get lost in.”

There was shuffling, doors slamming, and Taako tried to make himself move forward into the house. Lights flashed behind him, red and blue, and he pushed in further. If he could get through the kitchen, maybe find this Cam guy on the way, and avoid Edward, there was a back door he could-

Car tires screeched and something crashed. Taako jumped, whipping around in a frenzy before realizing the bang was only something that fell over further into the house. Lydia was driving away, it sounded like one of the cop cars was following her, but Taako needed to focus on finding whatever made that noise.

“You know,” Edward started and Taako whipped around again. Fuck, where was he? “These old houses, just the worst electricity. Cheap wiring, so prone to…” A match sizzled and struck. “Bad luck.”

Whatever Edward had been hoping for, this blaze wasn’t it. Taako saw the flames start up from the breaker box, but there was no grand explosion, no dangerous wildfire. The sparks were enough though, the flames were spreading to the floor and smoke filling the room.

“Help!” Another bang, from a closet down the hall to Taako’s right, the opposite way of the kitchen.

“You’ve got to make a choice,” Edward said, and god, he sounded so close, but this time Taako refused to turn around. Fear or foolish bravery, he wasn’t sure which kept him in place, but as the fire crackled louder, he tried to listen for footsteps. “Save yourself, or save Cam. I’ve dumped enough gasoline to burn him alive in ten minutes. However, you wont get out before the real police come in if you don’t forsake him.”

There was a bullhorn outside, one of the officers demanding that hostages be released, that folks come out with their hands up and “We’ll talk about all this, calmly, like rational people!”

Nothing about this guy was ration, Taako knew that. Then again, it wasn’t like he was coming out the front of this house any time soon either. “And you think you’re getting out in time?” If Taako could just hear those stupid footsteps…

“So witty. So brave. Honestly, I’m impressed. If you ever want to quit this fake cop thing, definitely give us a call.”

“How did you-“

“Oh dear, you’re dreadfully unconvincing. Now tick-tock.” A single snap of heel on tile and Taako whipped around, smashing the side of his flashlight against something he really hoped was Edward.

“How convincing was that, dear.” Taako sneered, only enjoying his victory for a moment before more footsteps echoed in over the smoke.

“This is the Neverwinter Police! We gave you a warning, now I need everyone to put their hands- Oh shit, is that a fire?” There was a crackling of a radio as Kravitz called for backup.

Wait, Kravitz was here? Taako could recognize that voice in his sleep, but he would give anything to have misheard.

“Fuck,” Taako whispered. He scrambled back, down the hall, throwing open a closet door as Cam tumbled onto him. “Get the hell out of here and if I ever catch you with those assholes again, I am not rescuing you.”

“Yes officer! Thank you officer!” Cam was practically tripping over his feet, pushing past Taako to run for the back door. He was clutching his hand, blood staining the front of his shirt, and Taako felt sick all over again.

“Officer?” Kravitz turned down the hall and even through the smoke, they could see each other clearly. “T-Taako?”

“Uh, nope. I’m a smoke induced hallucination. You really should get out here, my man. Old houses like this don’t last long under this kind of heat.”

“You’re- you’re not a police officer. You’re a pastry chef and a retail manager.”

“Okay, I specialize in pastries, but I cook other stuff too. Really, Krav, hun, not the time for semantics.” Taako tried to walk past him, tried to get Kravitz to move out of this house. He could hear the beams on the second floor start to creak as they caught fire. “Come on.”

“Why are you wearing a police uniform?”

“Kravitz, this isn’t the- fuck!”

The smart thing to do would have been letting Edward attack. He was behind Kravitz, Kravitz wasn’t paying attention, it would have been an easy escape for Taako. No matter how handsome the officer was, a pretty face wasn’t worth going to jail for, or getting caught in a house fire during a botched kidnapping. Maybe it was more than the pretty face, but Taako was not about to let Kravitz get stabbed. So, like an idiot, he barrelled forward, tackling Edward to the ground.

Kravitz joined the scuffle, but that only succeeded in getting the knife away from Edward. The smoke was thick above them, all the lights of the house flickering in a strange strobe. Taako thought he had the upper hand for a moment. Then he was shoved onto his back. Looking up, he expected death, but it was Kravitz holding him down.

“Tell me you are not working with the Wendor twins!” He shouted, eyes wide like Taako had betrayed him. They’d only just met, what was there to betray?

“The who twins? Look, I’m all for you being strong on top, but he’s getting away!” Taako barely started to struggle when Kravitz released him.

“You’re not working with him.”

“No! I stopped him from killing that other guy. Fuck, who you didn’t see but there was another guy that they took and- whatever! We’ll deal with the details later.” Taako ran down the hall, back into the main living room. He was wheezing, air unbreathable, but Edward was just as affected, swaying as he tried to move to the door, before realizing that’s where the police were and circling back, only to be faced with Taako and Kravitz again. Well, if the blow to the head didn’t knock him out, a concussion was just as good.

Without turning away from their target, Taako moved his hand towards Kravitz. “Gimme your handcuffs.”

“What? No.”

“Krav, trust me,” Taako was already moving forward, keeping Edward’s attention as they circled around the single couch.

“You have done literally nothing to earn my trust.” And yet, the handcuffs flew through the air for Taako to catch.

He lunged at Edward, taking him over the back of the couch. He was hardly successful in keeping him down, but the struggle was enough to get one handcuff on. Edward grabbed Taako’s leg as he scrambled to stand, to get some sort of leverage, and the pain felt impossibly sharp. Another knife? Or was this guy part time Wolverine? Either way, Taako fell back to the ground and Edward rose.

It was distraction enough, and Kravitz secured the remaining cuff. That only slowed Edward. He kept advancing as Taako scrambled backwards until his back hit the wall. A beam above them creaked, a suspended moment in which everyone in the house looked up. Edward stumbled backwards into Kravitz’s grip as the beam fell, bringing a firestorm with it.

“You got him?” Taako asked, forcing himself to his feet. His leg burned, and the stray embers landing on his pants were not helping.

“I got him. Are you okay?”

“Yeah I-” He coughed, bracing a hand against the wall before jerking it back. The heat was unbelievable. This house was not going to stand much longer. “Get out of here! I’ll go out the back.”

Kravitz frowned, but started dragging Edward to the front. Then he paused, and Taako was ready to scream. Why wouldn’t this idiot save himself? “You can’t wear an officer’s uniform. We need to handle this situation.”

“For the love of,” Taako stopped his staggering towards the kitchen. Lit by the eerie orange strobe, Kravitz looked divine. Not the time to appreciate the view, though. “You can handle me all out want later! How about we get out of the burning building first, huh?”

If Kravitz said something more to him, Taako didn’t hear. He turned and limped faster, as more of the second floor collapsed into the living room. Once he was out the back, his leg felt slightly less terrible and he pushed himself to a run. Kravitz would tell the other officers on the scene that there was another criminal escaping and Taako was not about to get caught.

He made it to his car, collapsing into the seat and locking the door. No officers chasing him, no kidnappers to chase. His leg still burned, but he could deal with that once he caught his breath. Taako waited another hour, dressing his leg with the rudimentary first aid kit he kept in the glovebox. No squad cars came his way. However, Edward’s wrecked car sat in front him the entire time. It was just a hunk of scrap metal now, but it felt like it was mocking him.

[Part Three] [Part Five]

Thanks for reading! The hardest part of this chapter was trying to make up a last name for the wonderland twins...