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yeonchi · 3 years

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How the world failed Chris-chan

This is something I never thought I’d see myself covering... at this point in time.

So by now, I’m sure a lot of people would have heard of Christopher/Christian/ Christine Weston Chandler (CWC/Chris-chan, not in the weeb sense but because it’s short for Chandler, apparently), if not from the internet then from the incest scandal and subsequent arrest at the start of August 2021. Chris-chan is a controversial and complicated figure who is viewed differently depending on what circles you subscribe to; despicable and deplorable, pitiful and tragic, or creative and entertaining. Despised in some circles and admired in other circles who aren’t indifferent otherwise, Chris-chan is, just like every other human in this world, products of their own environment and as such, everyone and everything in Chris-chan’s world contributed to how things have turned out.

A disclaimer before I continue - from here on in, I will be referring to Chris-chan using his male identity and pronouns because obvious reasons aside (eg. he is not a woman, he has made no effort to properly transition, he’s only transitioning to get women etc), the depiction of Chris-chan in my personal project (under a different name) is largely based on “Classic Chris”, that is, his male self before he decided to adopt a “tomgirl” persona in 2011, which for me is the point where Christory (as some call it) stops being as entertaining, like what people think of The Simpsons around seasons 9-12. I will not get into any debates with anyone about Chris’ gender identity or pronouns because that is only distracting from the point.

My impression of Chris-chan

I started becoming interested in Christory sometime in 2018 and I soon became hooked because I don’t exactly remember when I properly discovered him. Sure, I may have heard of him once or twice before but I never thought to look into him, probably because the culture surrounding him is part of the lolcow culture that originated on 4chan, which I was never really interested in until a few years prior (because I was young). A lot of the information and insights around Chris is documented on the CWCki and discussed on a Kiwi Farms subforum, which started off as a forum for the CWCki itself.

Chris is a high-functioning autistic (by antiquated standards because “functioning” labels are demeaning to the autistic SJWs of current year) and the creator of the Sonichu franchise, which mixes ripoffs of pop culture with Chris’ own experiences and desires along with some adult themes and crudeness in immaturity. Despite Sonichu being Chris’ “magnum opus” according to the CWCki, he lacks the self-drive to even complete it because much of his motivation to create it in the first place came from outside sources, particularly the trolls, who have both fuelled and killed his motivation to create new comics.

Chris is a complicated figure to explain, but if I had to boil it down, I would say that he is a pitiful figure who seems to have self-awareness of the situations he is in, yet lacks the self-awareness to know when to leave. At the same time, while he has been known to be wistfully nostalgic about his childhood and high school days, he seems to lack the ability and self-awareness to reflect on his own life retrospectively. One particular example of this can be seen in his post-Idea Guy Saga tweets where he will usually retcon his own life (and comics) and play off anything negative in his past, like the Idea Guy Saga or the trollings of Classic Chris, as something like “Magi-Chan foresaw it and yet I went with it because it was part of my journey to becoming a goddess bing-bang ooh-kra-kow ting-tang walla-walla bing-bang”. It’s a really bad coping mechanism.

In spite of his autism and ineptitude, many people thought he wouldn’t be capable of being deceitful, violent or predatory (in real life), and boy were we wrong about that. His frequent lies and hypocrisy aside, Chris has been in trouble with the law numerous times in his adult life and has shown predatory behaviour, particularly towards women.

Being autistic myself and having done something Sonichu-esque with my personal project (Kisekae Insights), it probably won’t come as a surprise that I see myself in Chris (in many different ways) and live relieved and grateful that my parents were competent enough to not let me become like him.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s go on to the main focus of this post and look into the people that failed Chris.

1. His parents/family

It would be easy to say, “Chris’ parents failed him by giving birth to him in the first place,” but that’s taking the easy way out. Chris was only born because two middle-aged boomers cheated on their families and had an affair. OK, that’s not entirely accurate, but given the families they left behind in order to be with each other, you can’t say I didn’t have a point there.

Chris’ father, Bob (Robert) Chandler, did put in some effort to raise his own son, possibly to make up for the way he likely treated his estranged family (and stepson Cole Smithy). Bob had high hopes for Chris even though he was probably disappointed when his son was diagnosed with autism, but he never sought to seek help for him; for example, during a dispute with the Greene County School Board in 1991-92, they sought to have Chris sent to a special school, but Bob and Barbara refused because they thought it meant that Chris would be sent to a mental institution. Granted, they came from an era where disabilities like autism were seen as strange because not much was known about it at the time, but in the 90′s, doctors knew more about autism than they did before, yet despite this, Bob and Barbara pulled Chris out of the school system for a year before enrolling him in middle school.

Even in Chris’ adult years, Bob showed disappointment in some of his son’s antics, yet he encouraged Chris to use Sonichu for a good cause, something which he kind of did, but in a way that highlights his warped sense of justice and morality. Sadly, ten years after his death, Chris has never honoured Bob outside of featuring him in his comic and creating a Sonichu OC out of him.

Chris’ mother, Barbara (Weston) Chandler, is a whole ‘nother character altogether. She is probably someone who I wouldn’t hesitate to call a bitch unironically and mean it. Barbara has been known to be a narcissistic manipulator whose family has essentially abandoned her, so she has likely made Chris and Bob believe that the only people they can rely on is each other because everyone else hates them for who they are. The reason I say this is because there was an incident in 2011 where Barbara threatened to lock Chris out of the house and commit suicide if he went to MAGfest. Chris realised that his only purpose in life is to keep his family together and that probably made him depressed as a result.

On top of her emotional abuse, Barbara has also been known to pamper and enable Chris instead of being a positive figure to him in the formative and influential points of his life. In turn, as Barbara grew older, Chris likely began using and manipulating her like she did with him. As a result, they have grown too close for a normal mother-child relationship; it was only a matter of time before Barbara wanting Chris to spoon with her turned into outright incest, what with Chris’ views on the taboo and his predatory behaviour towards women. Given what I’ve read, I would describe the relationship between Chris and Barbara as a love-hate relationship. It’s almost as if Chris having sex with his mother is a sort of poetic justice for how she treated Chris and what she made him become.

As for their relatives (and previous families), it probably isn’t surprising that they have distanced themselves from Chris and his family, not because of the trolls, but because of factors that were there long before 4chan discovered him. But if I took Chris’ “Family Needs to appreciate Family” video at face value without all the context behind it, then I’d probably agree that Chris’ relatives don’t care about them.

2. His friends

It’s easy to say that people like Chris have no friends, but to them, everyone they (frequently) meet is a friend (or fan), so that argument is moot. The point is more the kinds of friends Chris chooses to hang out with and their influence on him. Take note that this section refers to the friends that Chris had in real life, not through the internet; that will be covered next.

It has been said that Chris’ high school gal-pals were only friends with him because they pitied him or because Bob negotiated with the principal to arrange friendships for him. Having only female friends who were willing to hang out with him likely contributed to his disdain for males along with his “noviophobia” which would come along later. Even if one of the gal-pals wasn’t willing to date Chris just to “take one for the team”, they could at least have taught him how to socialise and behave in everyday life, but being glorified tard wranglers or teachers would probably be asking too much of high school girls. Sadly, Chris became too engrossed in other matters to call them out publicly for being “ungrateful bitches”.

Chris also befriended two other gal-pals after graduating high school, namely Megan Schroeder and Anna McLerran, but despite their initial altruism and later victimisation, they are not exactly as innocent as they appear to be. Megan has been known to beg Chris into buying things for her while Anna was only been involved with Chris for her own benefit until she became uninterested. With Anna in particular, she was nowhere to be found during the house fire and according to Null of the Kiwi Farms, during the Idea Guy Saga, she put off contacting the police for over a month to study for her college finals, then outright refused to help him at all. Megan abandoning Chris after discovering ShecameforCWC was a significant impact in his life, yet Chris never said anything much of Anna despite her efforts to white-knight him.

While Chris may have had some male friends, they are likely few and far-between and even if he did, they either didn’t make much of an impact on him to be notable or they did more harm to him than good.

3. The internet

Thanks to the work of 4chan, Encyclopedia Dramatica and The Miscreants, the trolls have provided the internet with many laughs and entertainment at Chris’ expense, which have undoubtedly done him more harm than good. This is despite the efforts of those like Clyde Cash, Kacey and Alec Benson Leary to get Chris to improve himself as they were probably more interested in inciting laughs out of him. More and more people were getting on the Chris-chan hate/ridicule/laugh train thanks to the trolls inciting Chris’ antics.

While much of The Miscreants had left the circle or decided to disband in 2011 following Bob’s death, the Idea Guys managed to manipulate Chris years later in ways The Miscreants would have never thought of (or reeled back from after they realised what they did). With Chris’ self-awareness levels ruined, hordes of weens and enablers swooped in to cash in on Chris’ notoriety, whether it be via interviews, visiting CWCville (through the internet) or introducing their own elements into Chris’ universe which he would likely spin off as being in a different dimension (even though he could have easily spun off the Idea Guys’ actions on CWCville in the same way as well).

Poetically and ironically, the trolls also contributed to Chris’ arrest and downfall as Bella and her circle hatched a plan to blackmail Chris into committing suicide by encouraging him to have sex with Barbara. Unfortunately, the weens of today could never replicate the success The Miscreants had before as trolls like the Idea Guys and Bella’s circle did more damage to Chris than The Miscreants ever did (or were willing to do) and in addition, a couple former members of The Miscreants (with one of them notably Marvin, the Man in the Pickle Suit) are now on the Kiwi Farms as observers and sometimes gatekeepers.

Chris could probably have met some genuinely good people on the internet if he tried, but as I said, the problem is with the people he chooses to communicate with.

4. Society in general

This is pretty straightforward. Why didn’t anyone take pity on Chris and offer him a job, financial stability or even companionship? Why weren’t companies capable of looking past Chris’ flaws and transgressions when considering him for a job? Why didn’t anyone help him and Barbara provide where the government couldn’t sufficiently provide? While the problem seems simple, the truth is that authorities aren’t going to step in unless someone is of significant risk to the community. In one case, after it was discovered that trolls were reposting Chris’ house tour videos, some people contacted the Greene County Health Department and all they responded with was that there are no regulations that address individual choices on private property, so despite Bob’s fears that their house would be condemned, nothing would be done about it because the health department doesn’t have the power to do anything about it.

Alas, even if some altruistic person with pure motives actually offered Chris the break he never imagined getting, they would eventually end up being unsuccessful in their endeavours because of one thing...

5. Chris himself

While the trolls were bad in their own right, it has been said that Chris is his own worst troll and rightly so. Up until now, I’ve removed Chris from the previous topics in order to portray him as a more sympathetic figure, but it should be noted that despite anyone’s best efforts, Chris cannot be helped because he refuses to help himself or allow himself to be helped. He has been known to reveal detailed information about himself with no filter, justifying this as him being honest about things, yet he also seems capable of lying (particularly about significant details) when it suits him. His gullibility and lack of self-awareness also play into this as he tends to associate with anyone who will enable his fame and delusions, including alleged “females” who claim they want to go out or have sex with him. It’s part of the reason why the trolls, particularly the Idea Guys, were able to do what they did.

Chris actively refuses any help he is offered and he has never learned from whatever advice that people have given him. Despite numerous court-ordered therapy sessions, Chris has never shown any signs of remorse or change, instead deciding to retreat to his own fantasy world to seek validation from his imaginary friends. Where others have the self-awareness to distinguish fantasy from reality, Chris either seems to lack it or have this weird desire to merge them together because be believes that all his problems will be solved instantly.

It would be easy to blame Chris’ parents for coddling their son, the gal-pals for not teaching him proper social skills, the trolls for not being good friends to an autistic person, or society for not giving the most despised person in the world a chance to change, but in the end, they can’t really be blamed for giving up on Chris and failing on him. Even someone like Yamato Kazakiri would probably have their limits when it comes to people like Chris.

Sadly, as much as people, including Chris himself, would like the universe to take pity on him and give him another chance, the reality is that for some reason, society and even the universe has its limits on the extent they can help people, yet Chris won’t appreciate any chance given to him. Hell, I’d imagine GodJesus would break character and not be so tolerant and forgiving towards Chris.

With Chris currently in jail awaiting court on 16 September for his incest charge, of which I believe he will certainly be found guilty, possibly alongside some other crimes (including violating his emergency protection order by transferring cash from Barbara’s bank account), I can only hope that Chris will get the help he needs if he were to be released. However, in my opinion, death is the next best thing for Chris because it would put him out of his misery and show mercy to both himself and anyone who has had the misfortune of being associated with him. As the legendary badass Yan Shuangying (aka Captain China) would probably say, how can someone like Chris change? He can’t. He can only die.

I hope you enjoyed reading about how the world failed Chris-chan, even if this is based off information that people already know. I know I might have skimmed over some details or overlooked them, but that’s mostly because there is just too much to cover. If you want to do your own research, then the CWCki is the best place to start, that is if it doesn’t get DDoSed because the Kiwi Farms is getting DDoSed.

In regards to Chris-chan’s depiction in my personal project, I depicted him as a villain who sees himself as a hero and is being used by the main villain of the series to fulfil his goals and “Chris’” dreams. “Bob” and “Barbara” do not have much involvement past the first series and a running arc in the series is that one of the protagonists white-knights “Chris” and believes that he can be redeemed, while another believes that he is beyond saving and that he will have to be defeated eventually. In the endgame of the final series, the white-knight decides that he has to kill “Chris” in order to stop the Ultimate Dimensional Merge and save every universe. If you want to learn more about it, then stay tuned to Kisekae Insights when I cover the Soulbound series.

#christian weston chandler #christine weston chandler #cwc #sonichu #chris-chan

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bondsmagii · 3 years

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Honestly, Patti and that one teacher Chris had in elementary school (the one that wrote him a heartwarming letter) are the only likeable character in Christory

there are shockingly few positive influences on Chris's life and I sincerely think that probably has something to do with the way things turned out. like. undeniably so.

having said that, I'm now up into the 30s somewhere, and Chris is a lot older now, and yeah. I can see what a lot of people were saying. it's undeniable that Chris has a lot going on, and that some things are genuinely beyond her control, but at the same time... there's also a lot that she could have done for herself, and she didn't. there's also a lot about her personality that she could easily change -- well, not easily, but it's certainly not set in stone the way Chris seems to think. the whole constant feud with the game shop, and the way she genuinely does just blame autism for everything... it's not great. somewhere over the course of these years she crossed the line over into the place where she could have done something to help herself, but she refused. at that point she went from being a more sympathetic character over to someone who really isn't very sympathetic at all. there's definitely a nasty streak in her, and while some of it has been honed by years of torment and that cannot be denied, yet more of it is there because of severe personality flaws.

somewhere before this line was crossed I was of the opinion that the harassment of others she was doing was beyond her complete understanding, and I still think that's true for that time period. however, at this point I've noticed a definite kind of threat from her now, and I think she's definitely crossed the line where she fully understands that what she's doing is inappropriate and why that is, but now she's using her autism to excuse herself and has no intention of modifying her behaviour. it's extremely sad. at some point she faced a choice and she chose the wrong one, which just so happens to be the one where she can continue to play the victim and also do no hard work or face any consequences. it's tough to say how much of this would have been the same if she hadn't been tormented for years and years, but at the end of the day the trolls aren't forcing her to stay at home unemployed and playing video games all day. there are unfortunately plenty of people out there who do the same thing, and who aren't trolled, and turn into similar assholes. I still don't think she deserves to be tormented, of course, but I certainly find her less sympathetic as time goes on.

#chriscourse #anon #asks

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one-last-puku · 3 years

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Chris Chan raped her mom and got arrested the other day

Seems so...

Chris Chan is so messed up and has been for such a long time, when I found out (s)he did that, I was more surprised something like this hadn't happened sooner.

I've been checking in on Chris' chronicles every so often, every few years or so, since mid-late 2000's, he's done a lot of despicable things over the years. The last time he nearly made normie news was when she pepper sprayed a Game Stop employee after defacing public property (because Sonic had blue arms in Sonic Boom? I believe).

There had been times I almost felt sympathetic for her for the mental state she must always be in, but then I remember mental state is never a good reason to be a horrible person. It's been a while since I refreshed myself on Christory, maybe if I feel like it. *shrug*

I think it's one of the many things my brain suppresses from my memory.

#puku's random thoughts #ask puku #cwc #chrischan #tw rape mention

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taffysannotatedsonichu · 4 years

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Sonichu 11 Page 13

Caption: As the days went, Robbie was excited with anticipation; he played Wii Sports and watched Christmas cartoons.

ROBBIE: Yay!!!

Caption: Christine has been studying her lines and dolling up.

CHRISTINE ROSEY: For behold! I bring you tidings of great joy!

CHRISTINE ROSEY {thought}: Wait! That’s not the line…

Caption: Rosechu has been keeping a clean and orderly home.

Caption: And Cera, she found a quandry a couple of days later with Kevin, during a play date.

So much happened in the five years the trolls spent waiting for this page. A troll pretending to be Surfshack Tito from the show Rocket Power became Chris’s last great troll. Jackie Romy, who I discussed in the album Chris did for her, was the last classic sweetheart. Chris took a short break from the internet in the spring of 2010 at the urging of his pastoral counselor Rocky Shoemaker. The next year Chris began a poorly thought out campaign to dox the trolls and get them to apologize, but this was cut short on 6 September 2011, when Chris’s father, the beloved internet lumberjack Robert Franklin Chandler Jr., passed away of heart failure at the age of 84. Less than two months later, Chris and Barbara were jailed for attacking The Game Place owner Michael Snyder. Both were put on probation and forced to pay court fees, Chris also having to attend psychiatric evaluations. Two and a half years later, The Game Place would close up shop, Michael Snyder presumably either retiring or heading off for greener pastures far from Chris.

2012 and 2013 were the most barren years of Christory since the poorly and inconsistently recorded ‘90’s. Most of his communication occurred through Facebook and he uploaded few videos or art pieces, none of it new Sonichu comics. By this point, most of the trolls who hadn’t already left abandoned him, the Man in the Pickle Suit staying as one of the few bearers of the torch. The one thing of note is that during this period, following a year or so of crossdressing, Chris decided to begin identifying as female, using phrases like “Tomgirl” (which remains the most popular term for female Chris, though Chris has not used this term in years) or “Male Lesbian” before deciding to go full on transwoman, legally changing his name to Christine in 2016.

On 10 January 2014, a fire started in 14 Branchland Court believed to be sparked by an ill-maintained coffee maker. Chris and Barb escaped with some valuable possessions and their dogs and Lucy the cat (one of their other cats was not so lucky). Though the house was salvageable and many of Chris’s possessions survived, they did have to live in a rental house for most of 2014 (some places erroneously state that 14 Branchland Court was completely destroyed; this is untrue, and the Chandlers moved back into their renovated home by the end of the year.) During the stay in the rental house in nearby Barboursville, Chris met a new sweetheart, Catherine, and developed a dislike of Sonic’s redesign for the Sonic Boom games, latching on to the newly blue arms to the degree he attacked a man with pepper spray over it, which meant 2015 was another year in and out of court.

And then, on 4 September 2015 (what would have been Bob’s 88th birthday), it finally happened. Chris uploaded another 11 “glorious” pages of Sonichu 11. I believe Chris has never gone out and stated why it took him so long to restart the comic, or why he stopped in the first place, beyond losing inspiration. It’s tempting to say even he got bored of this vapid Christmas story, but it’s also incredibly likely that he only started a Christmas story because he was inspired to do so by Christmas cheer and once the season ended, he had no desire to restart the story, not even next Christmas. It’s also likely, as Sonichu 10 was technically written after this, that he was put off by the negative reaction to the ending and didn’t want to continue the comic. Indeed, the only thing that convinced Chris to restart the comic was the promise of money from Patreon.

This first page almost seems like a refresher for the people who were patiently waiting for five years. If you’re reading the whole, finished thing in one sitting, it feels rather redundant, though it does move the story forward. Robbie plays the Wii and watches a Christmas short (I don’t recognize what he’s watching; I’m guessing it was something Chris watched a lot as a kid but it wasn’t a success and didn’t become a part of the Christmas special canon like Rudolph or Charlie Brown or the Grinch.) Christine practices her lines in front of an impromptu audience of stuffed animals. Rosechu cleans house and Cerah goes over to her best friend/childhood crush Kevin, who is visibly Jewish based on the menorah and what appears to be a dreidel in the bottom right window. Kevin is never given a surname, so he is almost universally called “Kevin the Jew”.

#Sonichu 11 #A Sonichu Christmas #Rosechu #christine rosechu #robbie sonee

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professorpalmarosa · 5 years

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Weird Nutmeg Dream: The Chris Chan Escape Room

This is not the first time I have chronicled a weird dream brought on by diffusing Nutmeg Essential Oil. If you diffuse the correct amount, you increase your chances of having a lucid dream...or at least something fun and interesting.

Too much, and you’ll end up with dreams about bees building hives on the other side of your window or psychic hipsters with man-buns stealing your identity so you’ll kill everyone he hates with your brainwaves.

Wednesday night, I had a real doozy...

In this dream, one of my old high school friends had just turned 30. To celebrate, they wanted to get a big group together to play a brand new room at an escape room company close to my city’s amusement park. I was eager to play for a number of reasons:

I love escape rooms. I played my first one in 2016 and have been hooked ever since.

I have played two escape rooms at this facility already. Their rooms don’t have the ambient lighting, expensive sets, and mood music like my favorite place does; but their puzzles tend to be trickier (and honestly, sometimes pretty funny).

The engineer who owns the company and designs the rooms is a very nice guy. Once you finish a room, he loves to nerd out and explain how he constructed the room, how the puzzles work, etc. He also has a cool “replay room” where you can watch your gameplay. Sometimes, he’ll slow it down. Other times, he’ll speed it up and play Yakety Sax from the Benny Hill Show.

This was a brand new room. Only two groups had beaten the room so far, but no one had successfully unlocked the “special bonus ending” yet. That probably thrilled me more than anything else.

My group arrives on time and we’re all eager to find out what the theme of the room is. I try to weasel some information out of the owner, but he’s being uncharacteristically mum about all of this. That’s when our “guide” steps out to greet us.

He’s a chubby fellow dressed in a blue and red striped rugby shirt, a pair of blue jeans with a stain near his fly, a pair of thick glasses, an amethyst high school ring…and something around his neck that gives away what the theme of the room will be. My friends are confused and more than a little grossed out by the stain, but it’s all I can do to hold in my nervous giggling.

‘Oh my god,’ I realize. ‘It’s a Chris Chan escape room.’

For those unfamiliar with who Chris Chan is, Christine Weston Chandler (formerly Christopher/Christian Weston Chandler) is a high-functioning autistic internet personality famous for creating Sonichu: a hybrid between Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu. She occasionally releases comics; but nowhere near as frequently as she once did. This is due to stress, repeated harassment from online trolls, financial problems, and a deteriorating mental state due to all of the aforementioned.

Her life is pretty much what would happen if the Truman Show were real…if Truman was autistic and the show was 100% guest-written by internet trolls. Everything she does is chronicled by “Christorians” and broken up into sagas. Sagas are typically categorized by personal life events, failed romantic relationships with (sometimes real, sometimes fake) women, and whatever troll/trolling group is harassing her at present.

As a side note, I know that Christine’s preferred pronouns are now she/her. When speaking about her in the present tense, I will use those. However, since (1) this room dealt with Chris almost a decade before the transition was announced and (2) even Christine herself tends to treat the past Chris as a separate entity (she even kicks him in the nuts in the Sonichu comics, if I remember correctly); I’ll be using he/him for the purposes of the dream. This room was designed around Chris, not Christine.

I don’t have an account on the Kiwi Farms, nor have I ever contributed any articles or attempted to contact Chris. However, I’ve been following Chris’s antics for nearly ten years and fancy myself to be a bit of a closeted amateur Christorian.

No one in my group knew this and it was about to become relevant.

“Hello, ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, and dudes of all teen ages!” Fake-Chris greeted us. I’m trying my best not to crack up because I recognize that quote. I know where this is going. The actor does not disappoint. “My name is Christian Weston Chandler. I’m here, and y’all are there!”

My poor friends look like they’ve just crash landed onto an alien (Little Big) planet. They have no clue what hell they’ve just unleashed, but it only get crazier from there. I won’t go into the full specifics of what the actor said—again, this was a dream and not reality. Some of the details are hazy now that I’m awake—but I’ll go ahead and tell you what the general premise for the Chris Chan escape room was:

The Sonichu medallion around Chris’s neck was a copy. He wanted to give the original to a “sweetheart” he was courting online, but he lost it somewhere in his room. Just to humor the actor, I asked who the sweetheart was.

Fake-Chris’s face lit up with glee, probably because a real girl was talking to him. “Blanca Weiss,” he tells me giddily. “Blanca’s real. Yeah. I talked to her!”

By now, most of my friends are having second thoughts about entering that room. The actor has creeped out most of the ladies in my party, as well as my gender nonconforming friend who is really uncomfortable when people make comments about their chest. They haven’t had top surgery yet and it’s a very sensitive subject.

There was one more twist for the plot of the room: Chris believed one of us wasn’t being “true and honest” and was, in fact, a troll from the internet. This brings me back to the “special bonus ending” I mentioned earlier. Each group of players would have one troll among them. This person would have a slightly different objective from the other players.

All of us were tasked with finding the Sonichu medallion, but the “troll” player would need to:

Go undetected by Chris and the other players for the entirety of the game.

Find the Sonichu medallion.

Steal the Sonichu medallion from the rest of the party.

Leave the room before the hour was up.

If the troll could successfully do this, they would be rewarded with a free full booking of another room. Escape rooms tend to run anywhere from $15 to $25 per person in my city, so that’s about a $250 value! I don’t care who the hell the troll is in my group is. I’m not going to dox them because I want the free game.

In an attempt to convince my wary friends to move forward with the game, I reassured them that I’d probably be able to catch most of the inside jokes in the room. “I know my Christory, guys.” They looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. “I know this stuff! We can do this!”

Unfortunately, my enthusiasm and can-do attitude bit me in the ass. Not only had I outed myself as some kind of online weirdo to my friends, but Fake-Chris proceeded to hit on me for most of the game. Initially, he tried his best to give every player an equal amount of interaction. I guess he noticed the other people in the room were uncomfortable and I seemed “nice.” I was asked multiple times if I was “boyfriend-free.” (Spoiler alert: I am, but that’s because I’m a super choosy and super, super gay.)

I was right. My Christory knowledge came into play multiple times during the game play. There were puzzles based on:

The “Gitars of Fail” (Guitar Hero guitars Chris customized after Sonichu and Meatwad from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, just to name a couple)

The Sailor Moon poster Chris used to look at every day to reaffirm his “straightness”

Rearranging the members of the Chaotic Combo in chronological order of their first appearance in the Sonichu comics. Their Amibos were spread around the room and needed to be placed in that order, otherwise a box with a magnetic lock wouldn’t open.

The Orange Fanta cans. If you don’t already know what those are for, you DON’T want to know.

The Sonic Totem

The Pixelblock Heart Torch

The “Yep! I’m on TV!” DVD.

The “Wall of Originals” custom Pokémon cards.

Chris & the Hedgehog Boys. My guy pal Patrick had to sing a rendition of “So Need a Cute Girl” and it was godawful.

Finding the one game in Chris’s massive collection where one of the characters was incorrectly colored (Sonic Boom, which Chris doesn’t own. Chris boycotted that game and even pepper sprayed a Gamestop employee).

A scavenger hunt inside the Manchester High School Year 2000 Yearbook. We had to look at every gal pal.

Having to pull half a key out of Officer Nasty and another half out of Kimmi: Chris’s inflatable sex dolls.

A DDR Mat that (once the four combination locks were unlocked) opened a portal to CWCVille. The four codes were SONICHU, ROSECHU, NAITSIRHC, and CLYDECASH.

One of my friends found the Sonichu medallion inside the CWCville portal. It was hidden inside an empty jug of OxyClean. I heard several cases of “oh thank Christ” muttered among my friends. I could tell they were having fun in here, but were ready to leave.There was just one problem:

Someone had to give the medallion back to Fake-Chris and none of my friends wanted to talk to him.

The clock was running out and Fake-Chris had become increasingly paranoid. “Aw, come on!” he kept whining, sweating and panting as he made grabby hands for the medallion.

“Okay,” I told my friends as I held out my hand. “I know none of you want to do it. Give me the medallion. I’ll take care of this.” My friend handed over the medallion without a second thought, but I didn’t head toward the actor.

I headed toward the door. I was the troll all along.

#Skye's adventures with nutmeg #weird dream #Chris Chan Escape Room #ngl I'd play the shit out of this if it were real.

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thetacoedgelords · 4 years

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Disclaimer About The Comic

Disclaimer Page:

Warning we are not trolls, weens, or A-logs. This comic was made for our own amusement mainly because the writer was bored one day, and decided to have some fun making a script. The artist really wanted to draw it all, we really aren’t trying to find a place in Christory, nor do we care. We wholeheartedly harbor little to no ill will towards Chris Chan, so there you go.

Warning: Contains blood, gore, death, mutilation, strong language, saucy scenes, dumb crossovers, a smelly species, and a crab faced alien. Please be advised.

#sonichu #chris chan #predator #web comics #disclaimer

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ckerouac · 6 years

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And some some victorian motherfucker comes to her dad’s house and drops off a partridge in a pear tree for her and then hops into a sketchy non-descript white van.

‘Merry Christmas to my one true love’ on the card. This is a chrismas mystery -- a ‘christory’ according to her.

She’s so happy she would bang who ever fesses up to sending it RIGHT NOW, screw the other 11 days.

#hallmark christmas live blog

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cwc-wiki · 23 days

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March

2 March - Chris streams Christ Chan Live Stream: YouTube Video Watching.

5 March - Chris gets himself featured in the daily community soapbox of Equestria Daily as a joke, before having his content scrubbed.

8 March - BABSCon emails Chris to inform him that he and his friend have been banned from the 2024 convention and all subsequent events. An upset Chris replies back but fails to persuade staff to undo the ban.[1]

9 March

Chris sulks on Twitter over his negative reputation[2] and tweets an angry remark about BABSCon.[3]

Chris livestreams Christ Chan Live Stream: Over the Shoulder Colouring and Drawing 2.

16 March - Chris uploads AI Chris Chan Vs Christ Chan Bloom.

17 March - Chris marks Sonichu Day but tells his audience that he considers it the day he discovered Sonichu, and that the birthday is 20 April (a retconned belief he has held since the Idea Guys).[4]

18 March

Chris rants yet again on MLP Generation 5 in Telling It To All of You, and the Hasbro Executives and Staff.

Chris is spotted at River Ridge Mall being interviewed.[5]

Chris signs the Certificate of Authenticity for a round of official Sonichu Amiibo.[6]

23 March - Chris is spotted at TJ Maxx with Flutter.[7]

24 March - Chris uploads AI Chris Chan Vs Christ Chan - Yo Ya.

27 March - The first anniversary of Chris's release from Central Virginia Regional Jail.

31 March - OfficialCWCmart starts selling the Sonichu Amiibo.[8]

#cwc #chris-chan #cwcki #christian weston chandler #christine weston chandler #sonichu #this day in christory #2024 #march #march 2024

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chaifootsteps · 3 years

Video

youtube

In honor of this historic day in Christory.

#Chris-chan #Sonichu #actual blog post

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maximuswolf · 4 years

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Can anyone identify what the problem is here? Critical Jack 9 days old Outdoor via /r/microgrowery

Can anyone identify what the problem is here? Critical Jack 9 days old Outdoor

Hi Guys .. having a problem with this seedling. It seems like the yellowing is starting from the new growth.. I'm not sure what is wrong. https://ibb.co/QjjtS21

Submitted August 16, 2020 at 11:47PM by christoris via reddit https://ift.tt/30Zipno

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inexcon · 7 years

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RSI Comm-Link: This Week in Star Citizen

Greetings Citizens

Greetings citizens,

We’re gonna be short and to the point this week, cause we have a lot coming at ya this week.

Today saw the latest edition of Citizens of the Stars with special guests Bryan Brewer and Star Citizen Terallian. Bryan Brewer was the originator of the original “helmet flip” animation, and I for one wish he’d have said when we’d get it back! As always, Citizens of the Stars is a fun look at the work our Community does each and every week, and Subscribers should check it out for the latest Subscriber perks updates each week.

Tuesday brings us our February Subscriber’s Town Hall with John Crewe and Andrew Nicholson from the Flight Team. Questions are being taken from the thread in the new Spectrum Subscriber’s Den, so don’t miss your chance to add to the choices, and upvote the ones you most want to see addressed.

Wednesday is another edition of Mark Abent’s continuing quest to smash all bugs in existence, as well as the first of two Hurricane Q&A posts. Look for that thread in the Spectrum Announcements forum, and again, don’t forget to upvote the questions you most want to see addressed. Rock the vote, yo.

Thursday is always your day for the latest game updates on Around the Verse, where we cover a variety of topics related to the overall development of Star Citizen and Squadron 42.

For Friday, we’re excited that last week’s Happy Hour: Gamedev was well-received, and are extremely hopeful we’ll get to do another one at the end of March, but that doesn’t mean we’re done trying new things… or in this week’s case, a very old thing. For those of you who have been around these parts for awhile, you may remember the 19 Million Dollar Stretch Goal for the RSI Museum, well, we’re gonna use the occasional Happy Hour to fulfill that promise to examine those early games that feed into Star Citizen’s DNA, and we’re starting this Friday with “Pre-Christory,” a look at the games of Chris Roberts that preceded the release of his first big hit, Wing Commander.

So join Chris Roberts historian Ben Lesnick this Friday as we journey down Memory Lane with a look at the games that paved the way to Wing Commander.

With that, we’ll see you in the ‘Verse!

Jared Huckaby “Disco Lando” Community Manager

The Weekly Community Content Schedule

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 27TH, 2017 Citizens of the Stars (https://www.youtube.com/user/RobertsSpaceInd/)

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 28TH, 2017 Subscriber’s Town Hall w/ Flight Balance Team @ 8am PST / 4pm UTC (http://bit.ly/2afL3VB) Weekly Lore Post (http://bit.ly/2jn6tmR)

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 1ST, 2017 Bugsmashers! (https://www.youtube.com/user/RobertsSpaceInd/) Anvil Hurricane Q&A – Part 1 (http://bit.ly/1dWLiCh)

THURSDAY, MARCH 2ND, 2017 Around the Verse (https://www.youtube.com/user/RobertsSpaceInd/) Vault Update

FRIDAY, MARCH 3RD, 2017 Happy Hour: RSI Museum “Pre-Christory” @ 12pm PST / 8pm UTC (http://bit.ly/2afL3VB) Anvil Hurricane Q&A – Part 2 (http://bit.ly/1dWLiCh) RSI Newsletter

Community Spotlight: February 27th, 2017 – YouTube Citizen

As you all know, there is no shortage of Star Citizen themed content consistently flowing through our Community Hub, Forums, and now Spectrum. YouTube videos/series are no exception! Over the years we have seen countless informative guides, tutorials, and trailers created by our talented Star Citizen community. Today we’d like to highlight a few of them that we found especially awesome.

Visit the Community Hub

BoredGamer

This one comes as a surprise to no one. BoredGamer has been one of the go-to channels for informative guides, tutorials, and podcasts about Star Citizen and Squadron 42. If you’re looking to learn more about the ‘Verse, this is a great place to start.

BoredGamer’s Channel

TheNOOBIFIER1337

TheNOOBIFIER continues to create compelling videos with his enticing no bullshit theme. Straight to the point. Just what you want to know. If you have not checked out one of TheNOOBIFIER’s videos, treat yourself and click on his channel below.

TheNOOBIFIER1337’s Channel

STLYoungblood

STL_Youngblood has set the standard for easy to follow guides. I frequently reference this channel when discussing Star Citizen with newer backers. Fantastic stuff!

STL_Youngblood’s Channel

Tactical Advance

Tactical Advance offers another channel so packed with information that you’ll quickly find yourself asking “where did my weekend go?” From flight tests, to event recaps, Tactical Advance’s channel covers everything under the stars.

Tactical Advance’s Channel

$(function() { Page.init(); window.Page = new RSI.Game.About(); }); (function( $ ){ var $window = $(window); var windowHeight = $window.height(); $window.resize(function () { windowHeight = $window.height(); }); $.fn.parallax = function(xpos, speedFactor, outerHeight) { var $this = $(this); var getHeight; var firstTop; var paddingTop = 0; //get the starting position of each element to have parallax applied to it $this.each(function(){ firstTop = $this.offset().top; }); if (outerHeight) { getHeight = function(jqo) { return jqo.outerHeight(true); }; } else { getHeight = function(jqo) { return jqo.height(); }; } // setup defaults if arguments aren't specified if (arguments.length < 1 || xpos === null) xpos = "50%"; if (arguments.length < 2 || speedFactor === null) speedFactor = 0.1; if (arguments.length < 3 || outerHeight === null) outerHeight = true; // function to be called whenever the window is scrolled or resized function update(){ var pos = $window.scrollTop(); $this.each(function(){ var $element = $(this); var top = $element.offset().top; var height = getHeight($element); // Check if totally above or totally below viewport if (top + height < pos || top > pos + windowHeight) { return; } $this.css('backgroundPosition', xpos + " " + Math.round((firstTop - pos) * speedFactor) + "px"); }); } $window.bind('scroll', update).resize(update); update(); }; $('.parallax-1').parallax("50%", 0.1, true); $('.parallax-2').parallax("50%", 0.1, true); $('.parallax-3').parallax("50%", 0.1, true); $('.parallax-4').parallax("50%", 0.1, true); $('.parallax-5').parallax("50%", 0.1, true); $('.parallax-6').parallax("50%", 0.1, true); $('.parallax-7').parallax("50%", 0.1, true); })(jQuery); http://bit.ly/2mo2tIr

#RSI.CommLink.Repost

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