#this is actually based on me and a frens convo

[if-lost-please-return-to-maliksi]

For the longest time, I thought my poems were prisons— just a tiny box where I kept all my heart's lament, the paper which exists solely to absorb every bleed of my ink because God forbid I let these feelings out in the world some other way. My feelings have always been enormous. Too big— an unextinguishable flame that burns wildly, too intense to be approached gently. My feelings have always been too much that I have to hide them behind pretty little words so it doesn't burn you; like a wolf— fitted with a leash and collar, tamed just enough to be touched with your bare hands without any fear of it turning against you. For the longest time, I thought my poems were prisons— I was wrong.

—Iane, 02.08.24

Please don't copy or plagiarize, I will cry. ;;

(Y'all can quote it but quote it properly? like, tag me or mention me please?)

[imaginepirates]

Prisoner

Alright y'all, I actually did some writing. This was based off a convo I had with @00idontevenknowmate00, and I might have to write a second part. I know I haven't written in a hot minute, sorry. Basically, you're a prisoner on James' ship, but he tries to treat you well and you two get along. The ending is a little weird, not gonna lie.

@bonjour-frens @tesserphantom @ilikebritsandbands @viper-official

~3325 words

~~~~~~~

           The ship rocked and swayed under you, the only thing interrupting the infernal darkness. You tried to sleep, but found you couldn't. Your heart raced. You didn't know where you were destined; either the gallows, Newgate, or New South Wales awaited you. Stuck in the brig of a naval ship, there was no chance of escape. Being a woman could work in your favor, or so you hoped. There had to be some amount of mercy. You were the gentler sex, after all. 

           You spent your nights in feverish dreams, and your days were much the same. Life was boring, and the navy had taken away anything with which you could strangle yourself. You sorely needed something to do other than worry. The brig hadn't been cleaned in quite a while, but it had definitely been used. The bars were old and rusting, and you kicked at the rats that crawled near your feet. It was the only entertainment you got. 

           Tracing patterns in the dirt with your finger, you heard footsteps on the stairs leading down to your cell. You couldn't possibly be in port already, so you perked up at the sound. Scenarios ran through your head, but you couldn't think of a reason you'd be needed. 

           You hardly had time to think before the door to your cell was opened noisily and you were pulled to your feet. You weren't afraid, necessarily, but an uneasy feeling was blooming in your gut. 

           It amused you to see just how many people came down at once. Did the captain really need so many guards? He stood there in all his finery, his gold brocade and starched shirt, looking disgruntled. There were dark circles under his eyes, too. There should be; he was delivering a poor girl to her probable death. 

           Despite the hands on your arms keeping you in place, you focused your attention on the man in front of you. He was tall and handsome and young, the perfect picture of a naval officer. His eyes flicked to his two men, whose fingers were bruising your wrists. Annoyance flicked across his face. 

           "Have you come down here to let me have a bath? I think I deserve at least one before I die," you taunted. In all honesty, a bath would be more than welcome. 

           "Release her," he said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. His men obeyed, warily staring at you. "I don't think an unarmed, underfed girl is much of a concern," he snapped. 

           The guards stepped back then, leaving you alone with the captain, their footsteps audible until they reached the top of the stairs outside the cells. 

           "What do you want with me?" You asked, defensive. You suddenly felt more vulnerable, left alone with this man. 

           "The brig isn't the best place for a young woman."

           "It's not the best place for anybody, but I'm glad you're taking pity on me. Does it bother you, jailing a girl?"

           "You're a pirate."

           "It's not like I had a better choice. Or would you rather me whore myself away?"

           He ignored you, but couldn't meet your eye. At least you'd gotten the point across. "I've decided that you might be more useful providing the ship with what services you can offer."

           You didn't like where this was going. "You misunderstand what I'm willing to do for you." You shrank back a little into your cell, trying to put some space between you and this man.

           A bright crimson crawled up his face, visible even within the dim light. "That's not- not what I was suggesting. Pardon me for giving you the wrong impression."

           "What would you have me do, then?" 

           "Wash clothes, deliver food to the men on duty, sew up what needs mending. It would be a help to us."

           "Why would I want to help you?" You spat. 

           "In return, I can make your journey to Port Royal more comfortable than the current arrangement."

           You mulled it over. You didn't fancy the idea of being kept in the brig. Truth be told, you'd do nearly anything to get out of the situation. You could hardly tell day from night, and the damp made your bones ache. You hardly had anything to eat. The rats made you afraid of becoming sick. 

           But could you trust this man? He seemed genuine enough, but how could you be sure? He might go back on his word, or take advantage of you. 

           Looking at him in that light, at how tired he was, at how his shirt was more wrinkled than you'd first noticed, at the stony look he was giving you, you didn't think he was a bad sort of man. He was a man who took orders, yes, but you didn't think he always agreed with them. 

           "Alright," you said. "As long as I get somewhere better to sleep and some more to eat, I agree to your terms."

           He nodded. Then, he turned and walked to the door. You were left standing alone with your cell wide open. He opened the door, looking over his shoulder to make sure you were following. You did so, through the door and up multiple flights of stairs until you came to the deck. There, you squinted against the harsh sun. It had been so long since you'd seen daylight, the shock nearly made you fall to your knees. 

           To your surprise, the captain put a hand on your arm, looking at you in concern. He stood so he was blocking out some of the light, making it easier for your eyes to adjust. 

           He took you to his cabin, pulling the curtains over the windows at the back so that only a sliver of light fell through. "I'll let you start by getting some rest." He gestured to a pile of blankets by the foot of the bed. "It's the best I could put together. You can use the bed for now, if you like. I won't be back until evening."

           "Thank you." It came out softly, but truly. You hadn't thought you'd get such kindness, especially not from the navy. 

           He nodded, leaving you alone in the room. You fell into the bed, stretching out on the mattress. Nothing had felt so good in your life. You turned your face into the pillows, inhaling. They smelt like soap. You wondered if that was how the captain smelled, too. As you drifted off, you reminded yourself to ask for his name. 

           You woke sometime later, when the sun was only a soft glow against the floorboards. The light reached only a sliver of the room, bathing the shadows gold where it crept in. A hand rested on your shoulder, rubbing gently up and down your arm. It was that touch that woke you, bringing you back to yourself. 

           The captain sat at the edge of the bed, one hand on your arm, the other holding a bowl of something. "Dinner?" He asked. 

           Eagerly, you sat up. It had been too long since your last hot meal, and you were starving. You tucked in, hoping he wouldn't mind how quickly you were eating. Thankfully, he didn't look at you, instead pouring himself a glass of water. You watched him, his back turned to you. He drained his glass and slumped a little against the small table in front of him. 

           Finished with your meal, you asked, "Is there anything you want me to do?" You hated how meek you sounded. You weren't entirely comfortable with your new arrangement; he was being too kind to you. Still, it made you want to repay him. Not to mention, any task he could give you would keep your mind off your impending doom. 

           "Not this late. Tomorrow." 

           He looked you over, and you realized he probably wanted you out of his bed. You rose hastily, moving to sit in the blankets on the floor. "You never introduced yourself," you pointed out. 

           "Neither did you." He shucked his coat, letting it hang from the back of a chair. "Norrington. A Captain in His Majesty's Navy. And you are?"  

           "Shouldn't you know your own prisoners?" You teased. 

           He snorted, trying not to be amused. "Shouldn't you know your captors?"

           "One naval man is the same as another. You'll all deliver me to my death."

           He grimaced at that, his eyes reflecting some sort of pity. 

           You ended up giving him your name anyway. "A pirate, and a soul damned to eternal judgement." 

           He considered. "Earlier, you said you had no better choice. Was that true?"

           "As true as it gets." Your tone had become more serious. "There's nothing wrong with making a better life for myself. A woman deserves to be treated like a human, and sometimes, she has to find that place for herself."

           Norrington nodded, dropping the subject. He asked if you needed anything else; new clothes, medicine, or another blanket. It was considerate of him, to be sure, leaving you genuinely surprised. There should be more like him, you thought. 

           He laid down after taking off his shoes, not bothering to remove his stockings or shirt. You wondered if it was for your modesty or his. You curled up in your blankets. It wasn't as comfortable as the bed, but you weren't about to complain. 

           The morning brought with it its fair share of work. After a light breakfast, you were set to washing clothes in a large bucket. You were outside on deck, so nobody minded when the suds sloshed over the sides and onto the wood. You were up to your elbows in water, clothes, and soap. You hoped the men knew whose clothes were whose. You certainly didn't. 

           Just as promised, you ended up mending rips in fabric. You didn't do a particularly good job; you weren't too skilled with a needle. Needlework had been the least of your worries before then.

           You were treated much better in the coming days. For the first time, your sleep came easily, and your tired body didn't ache so much. You were given warm food three times a day, and water to match. You were regaining some of the strength you'd lost. You found that your tasks weren't too boring, and that a few of the men could sing well if prompted. The officers frowned at that, but Norrington let you be, allowing the men to sing with you for a while. 

           One night, as the ship rocked and turned, you found yourself sprawled out across the floor. Norrington woke, too. He sat up in bed, his long brown hair sticking up at all angles. 

           "Are you alright?" He asked. "You didn't hit anything, did you?" His voice was still full of sleep. 

           "No." With all the tossing of the ship, it was only a matter of time before your head hit the table across from you.

           Norrington stared at you, as if making up his mind about something. "Come here before you do."

           At first, you didn't think you'd heard him correctly. He moved over to one side of the bed, and only then did you understand. Carefully, you sat on the edge of the bed, curling up on the edge. Norrington laid on the other side, his back to you. It took a long time to fall back asleep with him so close to you. 

           Thankfully, he stayed on his side of the bed until morning. You woke up facing him, but he had his arm wrapped around a pillow, his face buried into it. He looked different in the morning light, more like a man than a monster of the government. His hair covered part of his face, and you found yourself tucking it behind his ear. You wanted nothing more than to return to sleep then, but you figured it best if you didn't. 

           Instead, you snuck out of the room and into the mess hall. It was empty as of yet, the day being too early for breakfast. Soon, little groups would fill it. The naval men stuck to their cliques, you noticed. Officers with officers, midshipmen with midshipmen, and so on. It was always hard to walk in alone and face all the stares. People didn’t trust you yet, and you didn’t blame them. You stood for everything they hated. Still, you weren’t in a position to do harm or attempt escape. Those stares weren’t the worst of it, either. There were men that looked at you like a common whore, like they wanted nothing more than to shuffle you to some storage room and use you as they liked. 

           Alone, you didn’t have to worry about any of it. The cook was just beginning to prepare food. Hardtack, some sort of preserved meat, and water. You knew that officers got tea, but couldn’t see where it was kept. That was for the best, you thought, or people would be stealing it all the time. 

           The cook kept his surprise at seeing you to himself, handing you a plate of surprisingly appetizing food. Ships kept animals on board, and the navy was more organized about theirs than pirates were. Though chicken was a bit hard on the stomach first thing in the morning, it was chicken, and thus better than whatever they’d given you in you cell, which hadn’t been much at all. 

           Returning your plate, he gave you another, this time loaded with nicer foods. On it was a small cup of tea. He gave you a warning look. You didn’t plan on stealing the tea, though. It would be nice, yes, but not worth the trouble. Besides, you were less fond of tea than you were of a cool cup of water. 

           Captain Norrington was awake by the time you got back to the room. He stood at a basin, splashing water on his face. He must’ve bathed in the time you were away, because he was bereft of his usual starch-white shirt. The sight made you turn bright red, but you quickly regained control of yourself. It wasn’t like you hadn’t seen a man’s chest before. Though perhaps not one you’d slept so close to. That thought certainly made you blush, and you pointedly looked at your feet when you set the tray of food on his table. 

           When you looked back up, Norrington was equally red, but had the good graces to tug his shirt back over his head. He stood at the mirror, brushing back his hair. It reached just past his shoulders, making it nearly as long as your own. You knew what a pain it could be to deal with. 

           You felt useless, just standing there. You didn’t know what courage possessed you then, but you stepped forward. “Would you like some help with that?” 

           He looked at you questioningly, but handed over the brush all the same. You worked your way through his hair, trying to be gentle. He was taller than you, which made it hard to reach the top of his head properly. He fiddled with the cuffs of his sleeves, and you awkwardly made eye contact in the mirror. 

           “It’s been a long time since anyone’s brushed my hair. My mother was the last to do it, I think.”

    “Do you miss her?” You found yourself asking. 

           “Every day.” He grimaced. “Do you miss yours?”

           “Yes. I could’ve seen her again, you know.”

           He didn’t respond, instead looking at his hands grabbing the sides of the washbasin. He let you tie his hair back in a thick braid. The silence between you was stifling; more so than usual. You felt like something was very wrong, but you didn’t want to think about it. 

           There was a moment, when you were done, that you both stared at each other in the mirror. 

           It was his eyes that betrayed him. He looked over to the table, where his tea had gone cold, but he wasn’t looking at the food. It was a letter, open on the desk. When it got to the ship, you couldn’t know. During your confinement, probably, or sometime before. You could only guess at what was inside. 

           He handed the letter to you, looking down with sad eyes. Yours were pools of tears, you knew, even though you hadn’t read anything yet. You told yourself it wouldn’t be as bad as you expected. They’d hole you up in some prison to rot out the rest of your days, which would likely be few. 

           The scrawling handwriting was blurry before you. The note was so short, so simple, but it held all the weight in the world for you. The captive girl is to be hanged upon arrival in Port Royal, it read. You didn’t know how long it would be before you reached land, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was that you were going to die alone surrounded by strangers, and it would be soon. 

           Wordlessly, Norrington rested a hand on your shoulder. 

           “Will you be there?” You asked. A few tears were slipping past your nose and down your cheeks. 

           “I’d sooner not be,” he admitted.

           “I don’t want to die surrounded by strangers.”

           “You shouldn’t have to die at all. We shouldn’t be hanging young women. Girls. And yet there’s no way around it.”

           You leaned into his touch. “There are. Ways around it.”

           “No.”

           “Yes.” You sucked in a breath. There was a way for a woman to get out of a hanging, you just weren’t sure the captain knew what it was. “They can’t hang pregnant women,” you whispered. “Not even girls they think are pregnant.” You flicked your eyes up to meet his.

           The look on his face was tormented. “What are you asking of me?”

           “Could you forsake your honor to save a girl? All you’d have to say is that I might be pregnant. All you have to say is that you slept with me. Nobody could prove you wrong.” It wasn’t that far from the truth. He had slept with you, a little part of your brain insisted, if not in that way. But he’d never admit to it. He needed his good reputation, and wouldn’t sully it by saying he’d taken you to bed. He wouldn’t. And yet, you dared hope. You needed hope more than anything.

           He stared at you then, his hand still resting on your shoulder. There was an entire battle happening behind his tired eyes. It wasn't a situation he could've expected, and certainly wasn't one you wanted. Finally, he spoke. "Life would be much easier if we didn't have to condemn people that make better lives for themselves." He sucked in a shaky breath. "If I do this thing, there may be hope left for you. There may be life left for you."

           "Yes. But what of you? What will you tell the mother you miss so much?"

           "The truth. My reputation isn't worth the end of a life. Not yours."

           Tears fell freely now, and Norrington wiped them away from your face with a gentle finger. "I hope this works," you whispered. 

           "As do I."

           "Thank you. You've been nothing but kind to me. Letting me sleep here, and walk in the sun. I thought they'd be my last days alive, and they might've been spent in a cell, but they weren't."

           "Let's hope that they aren't. Your last days alive, I mean."

           "Let's." You put a hand on his cheek and a kiss on the other, barely brushing your lips to his skin. His hand moved to your back, rubbing soothing circles there. You stood, embracing, breakfast completely forgotten. 

                                 ~~~~~

           A month later, you stood on a ship bound for adventure. Your shipmates had come back for you upon hearing that your trial had been postponed on the basis of a possible pregnancy. After a daring escape, you were back where you belonged. 

You hoped Norrington was where he belonged, too.

[induratis]

HONESTLY??? I’M EMO AS HECK RIGHT NOW BECAUSE YOU’RE ALL SUCH BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE??????

i could go on for days about how much this blog means to me. but i’ll just say this: these past two semesters have been really hard for me. i transferred to the college of my dreams, have been making friends, and have been adjusting to a new school... but change is really hard for me. and its overwhelming to be in a new place with new people and not know whether or not people want to befriend me or not. or whether i’m worthy or deserving of even being at this school. who am i to be able to reach for the stars and try to achieve my dreams? but if this show taught me anything, it’s that sometimes things aren’t based on merit. they just are. and having this place to come to when the anxiety of real life can be a little too much for me to handle has been an amazing safe haven for me. thank you all for being the extra bit of glue i needed to keep myself together and able throughout this past school year. 

so onto the dedications under the cut!!!!

THE MAIN BAE.

@soldiiermade // you really have a heart of gold. i’ve never met a roleplay partner that uplifts me, but also listens, and wants to understand me as much as you have. i’ve been burned a lot in my past. especially in roleplay. and having you as an rp partner really changed the narrative in my mind. even if we fall out of touch, i just want to say that i feel super honored to be able to write with you and build a world with you. you’re an amazing friend, an amazing person, and you deserve so much happiness. i know we’re both just total nerds. but you’re special to me. you showed me that i can actually trust people around here, gave me a model for how a roleplay partner should be, and that’s really important to me.

THE BELL BAES.

@amongthcwreck // @slayxdemons // @toysoldicr y’all rock so hard. liz, i love every single verse we have. your writing always challenges me to take a different route with clarke & it always keeps her honest. heather, you were the first bellamy i roleplayed with on clarke & while we don’t have much, i’ve loved being in the gv with you!! and tammi, we don’t rp as much on here as clarke but over on my octavia ( @retributiions ) we do & wow i could go on for hours about how i ADOREANDAMHIGHKEYOBSESSEDWITH their connection & how amazing you are & how well you write & understand bellamy. thank you all for being such beautiful babes!

THE TWINNIES.

@groundmiinded // @noulaikkwelnes my baes. my clarkie baes. i love that we have such a strong sense of clarke pride, tbh. there are other clarkes out there that are amazing!!! but i’m glad i’ve got you two as my Smol Angry Blonde squad. & our triplet verse is the chizznit. i just really love that i can love clarke with you guys & it’s not weird or awk or competitive??? i can’t flail or shake my head at you both & it’s just a good ol’ time. i love you both sm. 

MY OCTAGONS.

@strisis // @headstrongblake // @xnotafraid i love all three of you so much?? jas, you are just a rockstar and always will be. i’ve loved everything we’ve written from day one. ASHY IM SO GLAD WE’RE FRIENDS NOW YOU’RE SO CUTE AND SWEET AND I LOVE YOU AND HECK I’D MOVE TO CANADIA FOR YOU. kate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow i love our convos and i love how comfy we are with each other and i love how we’re both sin buckets. i just love you a lot. all three of you are amazing octavias that i get inspo from all the time. like seriously you’re all babes af.

THE COCKROACHES. 

@floathim // @imnobodysson ok so charles we’ve been frens for a fat minute & i’m just glad we’re cool ooc as well? like i can come & be salty af at you & just. we understand each other’s levels of salt & i love that about you. you’re also just a really great person & friend. so down to earth & such a good. thank you also for listening to my RL panic attacks. you have no idea how important that is to me. LEX!!!!!! I ALWAYS LOVED OUR MODERN PARA SO MUCH. it was just this super pure ic thing & we never really talked, but it flowed really well & i was just so into it bc we didn’t have to plot it. we kinda just let our muses take the lead & it was rly nice. as for the group verse: thank you so much for making it? it’s just such a great, positive, uplifting, fun group verse that i didn’t expect to be as welcoming as it was and i’m so happy it’s evolved into what it is now. i’m in it for the long haul!!

MY ROAN BB!!!!

@kingroun // wow okay so i love you with my entire heart? you’re a very good human being. you want everyone to have a good time. you want everyone to regard each other from a true & good place. and i can just tell you have such an amazing heart. i’m so happy we roleplay together because we love to love on our babies. sometimes i’m a little mean with my clarkie xD but i think it balances out. my favorite thing right now is our thread where roan is crying. i just love how much thought & dedication you put into him. thank you for always being such a great human being. and know that you can come to me for whatever. i’m always here to listen, real life, or roleplay. you’re not alone, cuz you have me. <3

LUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@everyturnanycost wow so i think you’re the only person i’ve met on here in real life? but that was so much fun. my stomach still hurts from that burger we had but it was well worth it. I’VE ALSO NEVER BEEN SO HIGH IN MY LIFE????? LMFAO. i was a mess. next time, you should definitely swing by my house & we can just veg out & watch movies. it was really cool to plot in real life too, lmfao. & just in general we have similar tastes and pastimes. so getting to know you and creating that verse with you was so fun. i will always love you dad2! and you will never be replaceable. you’re such a creative energy and a lovely person. let’s kick it again soon!! also: REPLY. <3

i feel like i could dedicate things to the whole world tbh. but??? i think these are the baes that i wanted to literally call out bc they’re such babies. the rest are people i’m still getting to know, want to roleplay with, or want to acknowledge for being amazing!!!!!

gv babes: @louisofthe100 / @foxofthe100 / @accidentprcne / @valleyborn / @wildmoored / @bxmbsxaway / @onyafevayuj / @nctyourplaything / @kalipsou / @basiicphysics / @indiebryan / @impcled / @childcharlotte / @robinhoodmaia

other random baes: @notreallyablackwell / @surviivethis / @shespowerful / @eldcstson / @pariiahblood / @rcdteeth (SCREAMS I LOVE PERRY AND CLARKE SO MUCH I WANNA DIE. SO MUCH. SO??????? MUCH) / @mxtrciide / @chaosthxory / @redempticnarc / @triedtobcgood / @gadapiro / @echokcmazgeda / @pyrrhica / @damnmechanic / @leksakom / @ncncriminalway / @spacebuilt / @madefighter / and idk prolly a lot of other ppl that i forgot okAY ILOVEYOU THANK U FOR FOLLOWING ME BYE.

thank you everyone for making this such an amazing experience thus far!