#this is actually only the start of my crasazyyyyyy obsessive thoughts and compulsions related to my phone ive had this

[sammygender]

today my friends were talking about sleep schedules and putting your phone away a bit before sleeping and i was trying to explain that even tho this is a good theoretical idea it doesn’t work for me so i was saying like. well i cant do that i get paranoid. and they were like wdym. so i explained that if i have to lie there without checking my phone i’ll immediately start to feel the need to check it and convince myself that like everything like all my files will delete itself if i don’t go check it rn. so then i have to go check it. and therefore i can’t sleep without my phone next to me. (i actually left out the fact that the only reason i CAN sleep, at all, is because i do a thing on my phone first not sharing it bc the ritual feels less safe if i do). i’m aware that the last part is crazy but the first part didn’t seem that weird to me i thought it would be hashtag relatable. anyway everyone literally stared at me like i was insane and someone went isn’t that like? ocd? and i was like im just wacky and strange☺️ and everyone kept staring at me still going like Bro no….. undiagnosed ocd….. anyway im not abnormal everyone does this. ocd who is she. disorders aren’t real. 💯