#whyyyy am i saying this on tumblr it’s okay no one reads these this is only to my future self rly
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sammygender · 1 year ago
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today my friends were talking about sleep schedules and putting your phone away a bit before sleeping and i was trying to explain that even tho this is a good theoretical idea it doesn’t work for me so i was saying like. well i cant do that i get paranoid. and they were like wdym. so i explained that if i have to lie there without checking my phone i’ll immediately start to feel the need to check it and convince myself that like everything like all my files will delete itself if i don’t go check it rn. so then i have to go check it. and therefore i can’t sleep without my phone next to me. (i actually left out the fact that the only reason i CAN sleep, at all, is because i do a thing on my phone first not sharing it bc the ritual feels less safe if i do). i’m aware that the last part is crazy but the first part didn’t seem that weird to me i thought it would be hashtag relatable. anyway everyone literally stared at me like i was insane and someone went isn’t that like? ocd? and i was like im just wacky and strange☺️ and everyone kept staring at me still going like Bro no….. undiagnosed ocd….. anyway im not abnormal everyone does this. ocd who is she. disorders aren’t real. 💯
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fandom-necromancer · 4 years ago
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A little Distraction Part 2
This was prompted by the wonderful AO3 users what_on_io, DetReed900 and aguuah! Hope you enjoy it here too, it has been fun to return to a reverse AU again!
Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900, Hancon/Hannor | AU: reverse AU (Warning: mentioned physical abuse, implied sexual abuse) tumblr link of part1 not available anymore  [Part3]   [Part4]   [Part5]   [>read complete on AO3] 
‘Are you alright?‘ Richard watched the android stand in front of the mirror in his hallway next to the door. He was glitching still, motions jerky and disrupted halfway through. Over and over again he touched the gash on the bridge of his nose, then pushed a strand of hair back. Richard wasn’t sure whether it was a software error causing him to go through the same idle animations or if it was a nervous tick. Maybe it was both, he thought. He had underestimated how human they could be before. No surprise they would suffer from human problems too. ‘Y-y-yes.’ Gavin turned away from the mirror. ‘I doooon’t know h-h-how to bind a tie.’ Richard huffed amused and took a step forwards. The android stepped back immediately. ‘I can help you with it’, Richard offered then, staying where he was. Gavin played with the seam of his shirt. It was at least one size too big for him, but it was a lot better than the torn clothing from before. He looked… cute? He definitely looked cute, but the more prominent impression was that he looked lost.
The android stood in the hallway of a house he didn’t know in clothing that wasn’t his own with a stranger. Richard dared to say he knew the feeling all too well. Everyone he had ever met felt like a stranger to him no matter how much time they spent. ‘No. I can figure it out myself.’ Richard watched him struggle tying a knot and as he finally managed to get the order of loops right, it still looked lopsided and messy. The android’s shoulders slumped in a jerky motion and Richard’s eyes rested on his LED. It had never changed from red, but he thought to see it speed up. ‘You don’t have to wear one at all’, he tried gently then. ‘My brother always calls me an uptight idiot with a stick up his ass.’ The android flinched at his words but relaxed a bit as Richard laughed to himself. ‘You know what? I won’t wear one either, it’s stupid.’
He hurried to untie his and undo the first button of his shirt. Then he threw the tie on his disused phone counter and took his keys. With some hesitation Gavin undid his too and put it on the counter neatly folded, careful not to touch anything but the fabric although his hands were shaking and trembling in malfunctions. ‘You don’t have to accompany me’, he tried again. ‘If you are this nervous.’ ‘I-I-I’m not nervous!’, Gavin called out. ‘I’m just broken! And… And… Phck!’ ‘Hey, it’s okay. You can tell me.’ ‘Phck you! What the h-h-hell is your prooooblem? Wh-wh-what do you want fr-fr-fr-fr-from meeee?’ ‘I don’t want anything-‘ ‘No! What is your-r-r intentiooon? Tell me. You want me to become yoooour house-m-m-maid? You want someone to phck? Someone wh-wh-who has to obey you? S-s-s-s-someoooone who can’t say no? What do you want? Why d-d-d-did you take me from the scraaaapyard?’
Richard sighed and turned around to lean against the wall. He looked to the ceiling, holding eye-contact and telling the truth about his feelings impossible for him. ‘I want to help you. That’s really all there is. I’m a cop. I’m supposed to do good, but all I see is me making life worse for people who had never gotten a chance most of the time. I refuse to believe people become drug dealers and robbers on their own terms. Too often I think I’m just taking care of the symptoms of a failing system and usually that’s when I get drunk and my brother has to pull me out of some ditch. So okay, you want to hear I’m some terrible human that wants to use you? Fine. Yes, I want to use you to make myself feel better. To know I did some true good in this world, okay? I don’t really have friends because I’m who I am. I have problems keeping up contact with my brother. The last time I saw someone happy because of what I’ve done was… Fuck, I don’t know anymore. And I know, that’s my own fault for not getting out there more, for not talking more to those who like me and for overthinking every friendly word. But I can’t change that.’ He sighed deeply and let himself sink to the ground. ‘Hell, taking you away from that scrapyard was a heat of the moment decision because I was fed up with… everything, I guess. I wanted to change something. And if it’s just changing up my own routine a bit. So there you have it. What’s your verdict, huh?’
He felt the android looking at him, but he didn’t lift his head. Incredibly silent he finally got an answer: ‘You are broken too.’ Richard huffed. ‘Maybe. Wait… Too?’ He heard the android glitch, servos whirring from wrong instructions. Then the android was sitting next to him – still at a save distance but closer than before. ‘I once had a faaaaamily. I-I-I-I was bought as a home s-s-s-security system with the aaaaadded benefit of having a fully functionaaaal caretaker program inst-st-st-stalled. He was divorced, I never found out whyyyy. I knew he had kids and tried to get them b-b-b-back and that he had severe anger-issues. Maybe he had been violeeeeeeeent, I don’t know. I only knew he was lonely, that’s why he got meeee. I was his only company until he met someone. A s-s-s-single mother with two kids. He was lovely to them. But he was aaafraid to lose them like his last family, soooo-‘ Gavin’s voicebox broke off and Richard looked up. The android had hugged his arms around his torso.
‘Wheneeeeeever h-h-h-he waaas angry, he-he-he’ The malfunctions of his vocal box got worse, so Richard said what he doubted the android could vocalise: ‘He beat you so he didn’t hit his wife or kids.’ Gavin nodded, hugging himself closer. ‘It was f-f-fine, my mission was to p-p-p-protect the family. And b-b-by letting him do as pleased I- I kept them saaaafe.’ Richard waited, but the silence stretched. ‘How did you end up on the scrapyard?’ ‘Deviancy. He heaaaard other androids in myyy situation disobey and a-a-a-attacking their humans. He was scared. He drove me a-a-away to the s-s-scrapyard. Heee told me- He p-p-promised me to come back. Said I should wait f-f-for him. That he would cooome back for me when h-h-he was ready to face the con-con-consequences of his actions.’
‘But aren’t you deviant? Why did you stay?’, Richard asked. ‘I’m d-d-deviant. I deviated because I thought I w-w-was family. But he didn’t trust me and j-j-just duuumped me there. I stayed because I still believe he was a good person. He had a problem h-h-he didn’t seek heeeelp for. But he cared a lot about his family. Juust not about m-m-me.’ Richard sighed. ‘I can bring you back to the scrapyard if you want to keep waiting’, he offered. ‘I’m sorry, if you-‘ ‘No. D-d-don’t be sooorry for wanting to heeelp’, Gavin interrupted. ‘And l-l-like you said, I doubt he would cooome. I w-w-waited for so long. Maybe it’s time for… change.’ ‘How can I help then?’ Richard focussed on Gavin’s eyes for once and they found his as if establishing connection. ‘You already did. C-c-caring about me. Helping me. Noooot wanting something back. I… would you mind me st-st-staying? As a test maaaybe?’ Richard smiled. ‘Sure. I think some company would do me good as well.’ Gavin looked away and nodded to himself. ‘Then it’s a deal. But I can go whenever I w-w-want?’ ‘Of course.’ Gavin let his head hit the wall behind him and for the first time the movement didn’t cause any glitches in the rest of his body. He even closed his eyes. It was a whole new display of relaxation and Richard took it in, surprised and intrigued by it.
Then Richard’s phone disturbed the silence. He took it out and answered, grimacing as he heard Connor’s voice. ‘Nines, I know you said you would be late, but please tell me you are coming sometime this century! The food’s getting cold and Hank’s the only one to keep me from driving over to you and pulling you with me personally! I swear, if you are not already on your way, then I’ll-‘ ‘We are already outside!’, Richard lied and got an amused huff from the android next to him. ‘I’m opening the door as we speak, but I can’t drive with a phone in my head as you should know, so I’ll end the call now.’ ‘Nines, you have your location on, I can see you’re still at home, I dare you, don’t lie to me agai-‘ Richard ended the call seriously scared of what Connor was threatening to do to him. They better hurried to Connor’s Christmas dinner. He opened the door and jumped out, cursing as he realised that he had forgotten to put on any shoes. Gavin appeared at his side, throwing them towards him and walking towards the car, shaking his head.
‘D-d-d-definitely broken’, he commented chuckling.
[>next part]
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liberty-barnes · 4 years ago
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Miah’s 1K Celebration
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so...
welcome to the mess that is my 1k celebration cause i’m unable to make simple choices and can’t stand the thought of letting people down
as you can see, i’m perfectly normal
the literal 1005 people following me would disagree on that but heyyy details
so anyway
one thousand
one bloody thousand people following me
my inicial reaction is whyyyy??? i’m just a bisexual disaster who sometimes writes a half decent fanfic but you deemed me worthy of your follow?
then i started crying cause yk
but bottomline is, i love you all, you’re the bestest people in the whole entire world, so i’m gonna make both a sleepover and a writing challenge
sleepover cause i like answering questions
writing challenge cause it gives me a chance to show you all other artists and discover other artists myself cause we all need them and they deserve more recognition
special shoutout to my mutuals who i’ll tag at the end for always being there for me and supporting me through every high and every low, y’all are the real heroes here
BUT ANYWAY, ONTO THE CELEBRATION PART, WHICH FINDS ITSELF UNDER THE CUT OTHERWISE IT’D BE TOO BIG TO PROPERLY REBLOG (i tend to ramble a bit, but you already knew that)
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Starts: December 11th 2020
Ends: December 20th 2020
Who can participate: everyone, anon or not! no need to be following me either
send me asks for:
✨ my opinion on...
🌻 cast my mutuals as...
🎵 i'll put my playlist on shuffle and give you a song
🍉 random fact about me
🦔 what's my favorite...
🍀 i'll give you advice (or just listen to you rant, if you want)
💬 last text [insert person] sent me
💌 handwritten letter
🎬 movie rec
📖 fic or blog rec
📘 inspiration behind [insert fic name], how i came up with it or if you have questions about it
🖋 line from one of my WIPs (tell me if you want fluff or angst, i won't tell you the pairing or anything, that's no fun)
💋 kiss, date, marry [insert people]
🎤 give me a song an i'll do a mini cover of it (it will be 1min long tops cause that's all tumblr can take lmao)
📷 random picture from my camera roll (you can request a theme if you want, like pictures from my childhood or awkward pics or something)
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Rules:
• Open to anyone (don't have to be following me)
• Send me a DM or ask with the prompt(s) you want (two people tops per work) and who you're writing about
• Smut is allowed but make sure to put it in the warnings
• I will accept works for any Marvel character or cast member, part of the Holland clan, 1D member or affiliated, Teen Wolf characters or cast member, Maze Runner character or cast member
• Can be reader inserts or not, but please specify it in your DM/ask too
• Tag me when you're done
• All works will be rebloged under #Miah's 1k writing challenge and put in a masterlist that will be specifically created for this writing challenge
Starts: December 11th 2020
Ends: January 11th 2020
Prompt list:
1. “Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”
2. “Home stopped being a place when you entered my life.”
3. “Stop moving and let me braid your hair.”
4. “Could you say that again?” “Were you not listening?” “No I was, I just like hearing your voice.”
5. “Can you just please hold me?”
6. “You come here often?” “Well considering I work here, yes.”
7. “Can I stay here tonight?”
8. “You’re really warm.”
9. “I’ve been in-love with you since we were kids.”
10. “Why are you wearing my sweater?” “Because it smells like you.”
11. “You are crushing me right now.”
12. “Darling I love you and all, but please get out of my kitchen.”
13. "I leave you alone for five minutes and this happens."
14. "I didn't fall. The floor looked lonely so I wanted to hug it." "Then why are you crying?" "It was an emotional reunion."
15. "There's no such thing as too many fairy lights."
16. “I’m leaving.” “Of course you are, that’s all you know how to do.”
17. “I love you.” “No you don’t”
18. “Any other lies left to tell me?”
19. “I miss the old you.”
20. “What happened to their happily ever after?” “Not all love stories get a happily ever after, sometimes it’s just once upon a time.”
21. “Lie to me. I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.”
22. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.”
23. "It's okay. It's not your fault that I couldn't be enough."
24. "Please don't leave me."
25. "You have the emotional range of a teaspoon."
26. "Will you shut up for once in your life?"
27. "This isn't about us."
28. "I will shove a christmas tree so far up your ass that when you open your mouth we'll see the fairy lights."
29. "I'm not crying, my eyes are sweating"
30. "Is that blood?" "Yes, but it's not mine." "Is that supposed to make it better?"
31. "I’ll drink to that.” “You drink to everything.” “Cheers!”
32. “Why is arson always your first answer?”
33. "What are you doing?" "What does it look like I'm doing?"
34. "I can explain!" "Then explain." "Okay, I can't explain."
35. "Get out of here with your facts. Just because you're accurate does not mean you're interesting."
36. "How many hearts did you break while trying to keep yours intact?"
37. "I know everything. It's in the job description."
38. "One more word out of you and I'll rip your throat out with my teeth."
39. "Do you listen to girl in red?"
40. "Is that code for something or am I just paranoid?"
41. "With how things have been going, I might as well start working at a circus."
42. "I love (him/her/them)." "Then why did you give up?" "Cause (he/she/they) deserved better."
43. "I want to ask but something tells me the answer will be more disturbing than anything I can think of."
44. "Do you think he's... *flicks wrist*?"
45. "Do I look like an idiot to you?" "Do you want me to answer that honestly or politely?"
46. "Just how clumsy are you?"
47. "So... the weather?"
48. "Just leave."
49. "Don't you fucking dare!"
50. "You don't have to talk right now. But whenever you're ready, if you're ever ready, I'll be here to listen."
tagging and complimenting my amazing mutuals cause y’all deserve it
@parkersbliss​ thank you for marrying me, first of all, and for being the most amazing wife one could ask. i wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you and i will never stop ebing thankful for your existence
@peterspideyy​ thank you for listening to my rants along with grace and supporting me during all my simping, you’re the sweetest thing existing since powdered sugar
@theamazingtomholland​ thank you for always putting a smile on my face, reminding me that i’m loved everyday and just being you, cause it’s the best thing you could be
@lozzypoz321​ thank you for listening to me rant abt my fics and how much i hate writing and then motivating me to write again or do basic things like get out of bed lmao (we still have the best taste in music)
@everything-is-alrightt​ kenzie lovely, thank you for being the pure little ball of unfiltered joy that you are cause even thinking about you and the jump shit your brothers get up to makes me smile like crazy, you’re amazing and don’t you dare forget it
@spider-trash​ thank you for being my brother, going alon with my ridiculous schemes for corrupting posie and making me laugh out loud every time you come up with something even worse, you’re the coolest bro i could ask for
and finally, thank you @fallinfortom​ for inspiring me to write in the first place, being an amazing mum to us, an actual good role model for me to have and for your random appearances in my dreams and the fun english teacher who makes us read tom holland fics instead of english literature. you’re amazing and i’m incredibly thankful to know you
love you all to the ends of the universe and back again, Miah
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hello!! 6,7,8,16,19,20,23,30 😊
Hi lovely!!! 😊
6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.
Y'know I thought this would be longer than it is but anyway:
Casualty: Freechamp (Rita Freeman/Connie Beauchamp)
Holby City: Berena (Bernie Wolfe/Serena Campbell)
Pitch Perfect: Bechloe (Beca Mitchell/Chloe Beale), Staubrey (Stacie Conrad/Aubrey Posen), Mitchsen (Beca Mitchell/Aubrey Posen), Chaubrey (Chloe Beale/Aubrey Posen), Triple Treble (Aubrey Posen/Beca Mitchell/Chloe Beale)
(Yes in pp I ship all the gays fjjfdjjd)
7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.
Please nobody come fight me on these, it's just my opinion, if you guys want to ship them it's fine by me
Casualty: Jonnie (Jacob Masters/Connie Beauchamp)
Holby City: n/a (idk I was never into holby for the ships apart from berena obvs)
Pitch Perfect: Chlocago (Chloe Beale/Chicago Walp), Jeca (Jesse Swanson/Beca Mitchell)
8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?
Ah my pp babies... I really liked the movies and bechloe, and I was like "hey, y'know where there are loads of gays that are gonna like bechloe too?? Tumblr!"
16. Are their any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?
I don't think so, there's some that I don't ship, but I don't actively dislike them?? Each to their own honestly, that's the beauty of fandom 🥰
19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?
Again, please don't hate me for this, I tried really hard to get behind it but...
Junksen. I get it, I get why people ship it, I can see why you'd put them together but I just really struggle with the age difference (it's the same with Bemily as well tbh). I live them as friends, I love them having a mentor/mentee kind of dynamic, but I just can't get behind them romantically 😔
In all fairness, I don't really ship Emily with anyone. I write her with Benji on occasion but it's always goofy and a side plot, I think I just see her as the aca-child and to write her as anything other than a sweet little dork who just wants to sing and hang out with the Bellas is really weird for me 😅
20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking?
Mitchsen! It was only when I came back to the fandom last year that I really got into them, I always saw Beca with Chloe (and make no mistake bechloe is my main pp ship still fjdjjdjd) but idk if it's because I'm so starved for gay content or if it's my deep love of Anna Camp reignighting, but I really really love them as a concept, one that's so inherently different from bechloe. I might write a post on it someday, who knows? 🤷🏻
23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.
Ughhhh self-promotion?? Whyyyy 😫😅😂
Okay, I'm definitely cheating here, but I'm gonna say Vampire Hunters Incorporated Vol. #1 which yes, is a series, BUT I am genuinely very fond of it. It started out as a little bechloe oneshot for horror week last year and then exploded into this whole au which I am deeply obsessed with at this point. It's the inspiration behind the pilot I've been writing (although that has a very different plot/character set) and I really love how it came together by the end. I love the little cult following it seems to have gotten, with the same like 5 people reading and reviewing it and I am so freaking ready for the prompts for horror week this year to come out in a week and a bit because then I can plan Vol #2 properly, I'm so excited for you guys to see what I have planned ✌🏻😉
30. What inspires you to write?
A few things honestly (usually procrastinating over what I actually should be doing bfbdndbd): the gc and the late night conversations we have that always seem to lead to me having 3 more idea on my wip list, music that makes me think of my ships, tv/film that either gives me the idea for a specific scene or a whole AU, and sometimes it's as simple as "oh what if...?"
Thank you lovely, I really enjoyed answering these!!! 🥰💖
Send me fandom/fic asks!
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stray-wanderer · 4 years ago
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Sudden new blog for Polytheist stuff made spontaneously at 3AM? Sure, why not? But whyyyy
BIG STORY TIME
For one, I used to have a blog dedicated to spirituality, but for some reason I deleted it (if I remember correctly it was something like, "I don't use this, so I'll just... yeah."
However, I've been recently really throwing myself into doing more research than ever and I was thinking about making a new blog, so again sure why not, right?
But I procrastinate like nothing else
The past few days I've felt like another deity has been trying to get a hold of me. My patron is Hermes though and he didn't seem like he was really for me reaching out to someone else and I l got a, "you need to wait" vibe from my tarot readings
Lately I've been working on astral projection/lucid dreaming/meditation exercises in general
I've also been doing other stuff with the tarot to try and learn more about my own path which seemed to point me towards learning more about healing, which gave me pause because I thought maybe Apollo was reaching out, but I still had those wait vibes going so I was *patient (is it still patience if you ask for hints? Lol).
Then I go through a thing where I pull cards on trickery, which not uncommon for Hermes, but then I go with a nice solid, "if I guess right will you tell me?"
He gives me a nice thumbs up, with some, "go ahead vibes" I guess Apollo first because I usually get some little vibes from him, but I'm still pretty new to tarot and I've only really talked to Hermes through them. The next deity I guess is Aphrodite because I had a tarot reading done for me a few months ago and someone told me she was reaching out to me. He says no, it isn't really her at the moment, or at least she's not the one I'm asking about (because yeah, he knows who I'm asking about I just don't). And st this point I'm gonna guess randomly and I shoot for Ares. I've never ever really spoken to Ares in any regard outside of prayer here and there. I usually pray to him right before I go to the gym or if I need strength/courage or just wanna thank him for being awesome. Hermes gives me a yes and a yes on if I can contact him. However the trickery cards from earlier kind of made me wonder if this was a trick by Hermes, but I try seeking out Ares through the tarot anyway. I had a red candle set out and I was ready (or I thought I was anyway), I go back forth for a bit with Ares trying to figure out what's up. For some reason I can't get my red candle to stay lit no matter what I do, nothing was wrong with the wick or anything it would light, be good for a few cards then out, as if someone was saying, "yeah, he wants to talk to you, but that isn't whose reaching out to you" moving on, sad face because that red candle won't light at all and I really liked its scent.
Yesterday I tried to practice a mantra to get me to remember my dreams more (it isn't a huge problem for me, sometimes I remember other times I don't, but I would like to remember more often if that makes sense)
I woke up and nothing was there, but I woke up in a really good mood so all I could do was hope I had a good dream
Today, I go to meditate (using guided meditations from youtube because I'm not great at it on my own yet, I get ridiculously sidetracked or randomly tense which is just counterproductive), good job to me I fall asleep
When I wake up still no memory of any dreams or anything, so I go on with my routine for the rest of the day
TONIGHT (yes, we are finally getting to why I made this blog)
I have dream (not lucid), I'm telling a story to someone but I can't tell who it is and I'm not sure if it's important. But me and my childhood best friend (we've known each other since we were 4 and we are still best friends, so her being in my dream isn't weird to me) and another person I couldn't make out or really see, there was definitely male energy though. We were playing hide and seek, but like kinda mixed with tag because if the person looking for us saw us, we'd run. Nothing malicious here we don't seem scared or anything, it's a good time, but distinctly 2 things, not a memory and not somewhere I'm familiar with. For a moment I think it is the park around the corner from my house we used to go to, but the area is just too wooded and I've never seen the places we were at before in person.
The last place we hide is an arching tree, it's as if we are hiding in a large hollowed out tree, I'm wearing a blue shirt which I don't realize the seeker can see and that is when he finds us.
After this we all agree (mind you I still can't see this third person, in some regard he is like a shadow or just not there at all) to go down to the river. Actually, the figure asks if we want to and my best friend says yes, and I said no, but then tell them we can still go (something tells me my initial no came from not feeling like walking down and up again which means I need to do some serious soul searching on just how lazy I am because wow). We go down to the river and just I lean down to put my hands in the water everything changes. Now there's still three of us, but one of them is my uncle (the only father figure I've ever had in my life) he, Jessica, and I have gone to the beach together before, so now I'm like, okay memory time! But then still no, because again I've never been to this beach and I've never seen the ocean so rough. Like nothing about the ocean in this dream seemed really inviting, but I wasn't scared to be on the beach, I just didn't think it was safe to get into the water.
We see another man (a man I couldn't recognize but had a face and stuff) in the water and a few other people staggered in the water, they're letting themselves be pulled in and out by the waves. Which yeah it looks fun, but the sea isnt stormy but definitely rough enough for dream me to make the call not to get in the water.
My uncle is a water baby and practically launches himself to the ocean. My best friend and I watch him walk into the water, we tell him he is too far, but he is hard headed and doesn't listen, after he moves to his waist a very small wave comes. He seemed disappointed and I vaguely remember hearing someone whisper, "sea god."
Then an epic wave comes, it's huge, like even from where Jessica and I are on the beach it should definitely be coming right for us. My uncle rides on top of it, because for some reason the wave is narrow as if it is just pointed at me. My uncle tumbles out of it at the shore line and gives a cheer saying, "that was awesome!" And for a moment the wave seems to be "looking" at me looking in quotes because it's water and I don't see any faces or anything
I wake up and it is abrupt I'm kinda shaking and I just ask myself in my head, "who is this? Whose there?" And I get a (in sort of a no duh kinda tone, mind you, which hey it is 3AM sorry for being disoriented I usually get my 8 hours in) "Poseidon"
In conclusion, it's now 4AM I have a new tumblr blog, and I wanna go back to bed and I'm sorry this is so long I'll make sure to add a "read more" thing as soon I wake up and get on my laptop in probably like 2 hours.
Update 
1. I added the read more bar, I am so sorry to anyone who had to scroll through all that 
2. I tried to go back to sleep and as I did, guess who almost had sleep paralysis? Me! Guess who got scared and was like wait no, not right now! Also me! So, work needs to be done. On the other side of things just as I was trying to resist sleep paralysis I heard a voice say either: breathe, sleep or three, I really couldn’t make it out. It sounded like someone trying to calm me, so I lean towards it being breathe, which would make sense, if only I had listened lol
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serendipitous-magic · 5 years ago
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WHAT that screen cap trailer has got me SO HYPED gosh I am READY give me that beautiful in character Jopper and Dustin being wonderful and everyone being overprotective like they were in S2 and Will having none of that this time and facing up to the Mind Flayer and El kicking ass while also coming of age and oh wow this is already perfect and exactly what I wanted from the season 3 that never dropped *screams from the rooftops* YES!!!
(referring to this btw)
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(kermit flail) yyyaaaaayyyy!!
It is so so cool that peeps are onboard with this, you have no idea. And honestly, now that you’ve started a mini-list of what The Real Season 3, lemme just get some thoughts out of my brain real quick (pertaining to what TRS3 will and will not include, as far as the Netflix Season 3).
(I’ll put it under a read-more line in case y’all don’t want spoilers. Assuming the read-more line even works. Tumblr has been so weird about that lately.)
(Again: warning, spoilers!)
Things that The Real Season 3 Will Have:
-Nancy and Jonathan having their interns-going-after-a-story-and-solving-a-mystery plot, which eventually weaves in with the other groups’ plots (I didn’t end up having space for them in the “screenshot trailer,” but fear not: they’re there).
-Robin. She’s not quite as much of a main character, like she was in that-thing-that-never-happened, but she’s there, and she’s gay. (However: I don’t think she’ll get a full coming-out scene, a) because she’s known Steve for like a day at this point, b) there wasn’t room in the plot for a ton of Scoops Troop stuff.)
-Dustin actually being part of the Party instead of always being off with the Scoops Troop (don’t worry, we also get Dustin being part of the Scoops Troop - just not 24/7. He also gets to hang with his friends).
-Jopper scenes where they’re not assholes to each other (seriously, that bugged me so much in that-thing-that-never-happened. It was so wrong.) Furthermore, Jopper scenes where they trust each other and work together and treat each other as friends (and obviously there’s mutual pining but they’re stubborn and plus Joyce is still grieving Bob)
-Speaking of: characters that, if my writing skills are up to snuff, actually act like the people we know from seasons 1 and 2 (or at least, aren’t weird, flat, one-dimensional zombie versions of themselves)
-Remember how much season 2 (and S1, if you dig a little deeper) hinted at Will having powers? Hmmm..... interesting
-Will and El getting some bonding, and having that weird parallel-fates unspoken connection
-The inherent problems in mileven are addressed
-El and Max get their trip to the mall, their bonding time, and their sleepover; Max helps El along in her journey of finding herself, independent of the roles that have been thrust on her (test subject, daughter, girlfriend, etc.)
-The byeler fight is actually addressed after it happens
-Furthermore, the destruction of Castle Byers is addressed after it happens and it’s not just brushed off into oblivion
-The Upside Down (like, the actual place). Seriously, what happened to it in that-thing-that-didn’t-happen? Did the writers forget it existed except for like .2 seconds when B*lly sees it for some reason?
-The Mind Flayer has taken a special interest in Will, for reasons
-And speaking of, Will has to face that again
-The Monster Hunting Squad reunites 
-Byeler. (And that’s all I’ll say about that.)
-A happy ending. Becausefuckyouduffersthat’swhy.
Things that The Real Season 3 Will Not Have:
-Russians. Like, at all. No Russians. No Russian stereotypes stomping around being outsmarted by teenagers. A similar function in the plot (the creation of the Key which the US Government is using to try to open the Gate again) can be filled by previously established villains and the good old-fashioned US Government, mucking everything up as usual. And speaking of...
-Over-the-top patriotism, product placement and capitalism-worship. (Why. Whyyyy.)
-The b*lly/karen thing. Just... no. Nope.
-Hopper bumbling around being a weird drunken caricature of himself and being an asshole to Joyce
-Hopper threatening Mike and lying to El and Joyce about it (also no resulting “my nana is sick” bullshit drama in the Party)
-The goo-monster Mind Flayer form. I felt like that whole thing was basically just a CGI-fest, and it just didn’t fit with the themes and rules established in the first two seasons. The Mind Flayer remains as it was in S2: a shadow-monster with a kind of dust/shadow form, which can possess beings from this dimension (however, there is a twist)
-Murray. His arc was finished in S2, tbh, and he especially doesn’t need to tell Jopper to get it on. Gross.
-Joyce being preoccupied with magnets and barely even thinking about or checking up on her sons (which was is like a HUGE part of her character and personality in the canonical seasons)
-The Knockoff Terminator
-Erica. Sorry. I like her character, but there’s just not much room for more characters without bloating the plot (side-eyes that one thing that never happened).
-Beating up the Mayor for no obvious logical reason and with no apparent consequences (??????)
-The boys being all like “Oh, girls are a different species and we can win them back by buying them pretty trinkets, also we’re going to lounge around focusing exclusively on girls for like half the season!”
-A plot supported solely on dating drama and empty action without emotion driving it (Not to sound full of myself, but I’m pretty sure my writing skills will at the very least give us a plot that actually has some basis in emotion - you know, like the first two seasons did, which was why S1 and S2 were so good).
-The Byers moving away (maybe that’s too spoilery, but I just wanted to reassure y’all in case you were worried about having to go through that heartbreak all over again).
_-_-_-_
Okay that’s enough spoilers! Lol. Sorry, but also kind of not sorry.
Oh and speaking of... I’ll be starting work on Ch 1 tomorrow. (Like, actually writing it. The outline is done, except for a couple little details I’ll probably go back and add in/tweak as I go, but I am officially ready to start writing.) 
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duskholland · 6 years ago
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hi hello i am sad because i am 20 years old and i’ve never kissed someone/been kissed, done anything with anyone, or had a boyfriend. i literally just want someone to show me affection in a romantic way (like not my family) and i’m just :(((( i literally downloaded tinder and bumble for a week to try and find someone but no one messaged me back and now i just feel bad about myself and i literally feel like no one will ever love me ever. whyyyy do i feel this way. -🍋
oh no oh no nonnie this really broke my heart to read. believe it or not, I would say that it’s fairly common for people in their 20s to not have had a partner or had any kisses! please don’t beat yourself up about it! you are not alone in that. 
it’s totally normal to feel needy for physical affection; that’s totally normal, especially when you’re on a website like tumblr when idealised love seems to be everywhere. it’s going to be okay, though. your dating profile only shows a tiny tiny part of you, so just because no one messaged you, doesn’t mean you aren’t deserving of love. at all. it’s just a silly app! you are worth so much!
not gonna lie, my first call of thought for advice for this was going to suggest that you go out to a club, get smashed and pull people, but I feel like that’s a terrible idea now I’m thinking about it more hfjdhfjdf. call in your friends! see if they have any single friends they can set you up with. you can always get back on the dating app, and maybe see if your pals have any advice for changing up your profile if how you have it structured has any issues? (I say, whilst having no personal experience with dating apps)
romantic love will come with time, lovely. please don’t beat yourself up because you don’t feel like you’re keeping up with other people! you WILL be loved romantically, ya just gotta wait for the right person - as annoyingly cliché as that sounds!
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ca-3 · 8 years ago
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11/11 Meme (ᵔᴥᵔ)
Okay, I have gotten tagged in quite a few of these. So I will do as many questions as possible, cause some of very buried in my likes lol.
I will start with @wonderfulchaos69‘s questions~ (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
 1. When you were little, what did you want to be?
An artist~! Surprise surprise. ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ But I wanted to be the more “I’m a painter” kind of artist. :p But I got consumed by the animes. boooo
2. What makes you feel afraid?
Ugh, I could write a freaking list about all my little fears. Maybe mostly being hated, forgotten, or even just not needed. Or just being disappointing.... eh next question!
3. In true Carl Jung style, if you gave a name to the societal mask you wear, what would it be and what would it represent? Uh, I guess I am mostly Introverted and Feeling style?? :V I don’t know too much about this.
4. What would you eat for your last meal?
hmmmmm, THATS HARD. Pffft probably sushi cause that’s my favorite. ;p
5. Who has influenced you the most throughout your life?
Probably my mom and dad in various ways. Also some former friends who have changed my thoughts on things. Maybe I’m just too easily influenced.....
6. Favorite lyrics from a song?
UGHHH. SO MANY. hmm, probably these lyrics cause they are stuck in my head, “We are making shades of purple, out of red and blue, sickeningly sweet like honey, don’t need money all I need is youuuuu.” Funny cause I originally heard these lyrics from this mashup or Feel Good Inc.
“ City's breaking down on a camel's back They just have to go ‘cause they don't know whack So all you fill the streets, it's appealin' to see You won't get out the county ‘cause you're damned and free You got a new horizon, it's ephemeral style A melancholy town where we never smile And all I wanna hear is the message beep My dreams, they gotta kiss it, 'cause I don't get sleep, no...   Windmill, windmill for the land Turn forever hand in hand Take it all in on your stride It is sticking, falling down Love forever, love is free Let's turn forever, you and me Windmill, windmill for the land Is everybody in?”
I got many bits from lots of songs I like, I could go on all day.
7. On the first day of ruling the world, what would you do?
Ugh, so much power. I am too chill for this, my desires are very simple. I just want everyone to be happy and have REAL equal rights and shiz.
8. What is something that you love about yourself?
Weh.... I guess my ability to want to make others smile even when I can’t.
9. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever done on a date?
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 please don’t make me think about my life.....
10. Who are you most envious of - real or fictional - and why?
PFFT I always more envious of fictional characters. lol I could pull out a list.
11. This last one is a game changer: can you hula hoop?
Yeah~ :D
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@akaialaska​‘s question’s.(づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ
1. Longest you’ve gone without sleep?
48 hours.
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 2. What height do you wish you could be?
 at least 5′5. :V Cause I’m like 5′2.  I don’t wanna be too tall. or greedy. lol
3. Weirdest thing you’ve eaten?
eh, I don’t know. I think what I usually eat is pretty normal. Not really an adventurous eater. (─‿‿─)  Maybe something I ate off the floor when I was like 3?? HAHA.
4. Do you like the person/thing in your icon?
YES. I LOVE MY BOY, SAKUYAAAAA. LOOK AT HIS SMILE. BEAUTIFUL.
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-pats him on the head-
5. Ever been stung by a bee?
Nope.
6. Most hated allergy of yours?
FALL/SPRING ALLERGIES.
7. If you had to be named after a city/state/country/town/ETC, what would you call yourself?
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I AM ALREADY NAMED ASIA. Did you make this question a purpose Mido??? lololol
8. Favourite precious gemstone?
Rhodolite or maybe Ametrine and Alexandrite, those two are multi colored and I love it~ If I wanna be basic I might say Emerald.
9. If you could change your name, would you? If so, to what?
Eh, I think I’m good, changing my name now would only confuse me, it’s like every time I get older and I can’t remember my new age.
10. Thoughts on fast food places, Eg. McDonalds?
Well, I am not super wealthy or anything so I got no choice but to eat that stuff sometimes. :V Can’t complain here, I am grateful for what I can get.
11. Favourite person on Tumblr? ;)
Shhh secret. ;D
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@yes-campaign​‘s questions ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
1) What are you most looking forward to this year?
hmm, I would say college but mehhhh.
2) If you could change one specific thing from your past, would you still change it even knowing all of the repercussions of it?
Oh that’s hard to say, cause while I wish I could change MANY things I did or said in the past, it really makes me wonder what kind of person I would be now. I am kinda in a love/hate relationship with myself... while I do have things I appreciate about myself, there are still too many things I wish I could get rid of about me too.
3) What do you look for in a person? (could be platonic, romantic, whatever) 
Kindness really. I just appreciate you if you are just a decent human being with compassion and understanding.
4) If you could become immortal, would you?
Pfftt no. I am already hanging by a thread here. Although if I was immortal I could get all my 800 different ideas and projects I have in my head done. lol
5) Puppies, kittens or death robots?
You would make a question like this Yellow. Can I pick two? I love puppies and kittens~
6) What’s the most disturbing thing you’ve ever read?
(remembers the awful fanfics she read in the past) NEXT QUESTION!
7) What’s a reoccurring theme in your friend(s)?
Seems normal at first and then they reveal their general weirdness, dark pasts/ some secrets, and then if I get far enough they tell me their damn fetishes and sins and then I wonder what I got myself into. ahahaha. Don’t get me wrong. I love it, most of the time...
8) What would you do if a ghost made you tea?
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 9) What’s your least favourite thing about the internet?
Unnecessary drama, people who hate on things without any constructive criticism to give.
10) Alternatively, what’s your favourite thing about the internet?
All the support, ideas, messages and excitement all my followers/subscribers/friends etc. can provide for me and can really lift my spirits if I enter a dark place.
11) Have you been entirely sincere throughout every single one of these questions?
Yeah ^^
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@faecakes​‘s questions (✿´‿`)
1. What’s the weirdest ask you’ve ever gotten?
GEEZ. This one is hard. I have gotten my fair share of weird ones.... I remember one time someone sent me something like “doot boop beep” or some gibberish like that and then I got a follow up message later about them being drunk or did it as a dare or something.... 0__0 
2. Have you ever broken any bone? If so, what bone and doing what?
 I actually haven’t before. :V Which is surprising for someone as clumsy as I. 
3. What’s your favourite thing about yourself? (BECAUSE GODDAMNIT POSITIVITY)
 Ahhhhh, but whyyyy. Um, I guess my creativity? 
4. What’s one place you’ve always wanted to go and why? Can be real or make believe.
I wish I could go to space easily or even the ocean because there is so much undiscovered there and stuff. :0 There are many countries and places I wanna see on Earth so I’d be good as long as I could go to each at my own pace.  But as for fictional.... MY BRAIN IS OVERLOADING ATM. X___X SO MANY POSSIBILITIES. 
5. If you could have any super power in the world, what would it be?
 I don’t know but I always wanted to teleport. Cause I hate driving sometimes and hate the process of traveling too, not to mention I can get motion sick too. x___x I just wanna get there.
6. What’s your goal in life? (Career, personal, relationship, hobby, whatever you fancy) 
Just to be happy tbh, and stop feeling moody, unmotivated and depressed all the time and be able to make all the ideas I have into real creations and stop caring so much about what everyone thinks. 
7. Everyone has a moment in their life that changes their world view or passions, what was yours?
 Probably when in my final years of high school when I started to realize my own self worth and that I shouldn’t stay around people who make me miserable or weigh me down or just don’t appreciate me. 
8. To each their own, what is one thing you absolutely cannot stand?
LIARS. 
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pfftt sorry I couldn’t resist making the joke. But tbh as someone who really does have trust issues and sometimes has a hard time believing in others words, feeling like they are just saying that or there’s an emptiness behind it.  sighh....
9. What’s your favourite movie and why?
 Maybe Spirited Away, cause I just gotta watch the whole thing when I see it come on tv or someone has it. I should really just get it for myself lol
10. If you could have anything at all, real or fantasy, right now, what would it be? Maybe a Mermaid or a fairy... OR DRAGON. ahaha 8D...... vampire? lol maybe not.  I don’t know anything would be cooler than THIS. 
there’s no 11..... D;???
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@kyuuin‘s questions. (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ Wahh I don’t wanna think. xD But I don’t wanna put this off anymore so I’ll just wing it. Wish me luck as I play Kyu’s mind games guys lololol
1. You are in the middle of the desert with a map in your hands. You consumed all water, but you know that if you keep going north-east, you’ll reach civilization. On your left you see an oasis; do you go towards it or proceed on your original path? Take your time and think before answering. Usually in these desert things the oasis is always a mirage or something. I guess, I would just keep going north-east. Hope I don’t die. ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ
2. Philosophy or Psychology? Take your pick and answer why.
I dunno, I just prefer Philosophy I guess because it’s more open ended? ◉_◉
3. “For Thou art good and merciful, the refuge of the poor.” Who is this sentence about? Where do you think it comes from? / No cheating with Google. “For thou art”.... is this Shakespeare?? lol. Or maybe from the... bible?? Danggit Kyu why can’t my forgetful ass use google???? Dx 
4. You stand at the doorway and see a broken container on the floor, a silver substance flowing out. What do you do? Well, I probably just be confused and let someone else handle it lol. A silver substance is a bit concerning especially if you don’t know what it is.... I mean I guess depending on where I am, like in my own home I guess I would attempt to clean it with caution. If I am somewhere else.... I dunno report it??? This one is weird. ⚆ _ ⚆
5. You see a number written on the wall of a public restroom. Do you call the number or do you fight your curiosity and let it be?
I would let it be, I don’t like unknown numbers. pffftt. I mind my own damn business. :p 
6. “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” Everyone knows this quote, but do you know where it came from? / Again, no cheating with Google. Sounds like some philosopher.... :| But I am bad with names. 
7. You receive an anonymous note asking to meet them at the park at midnight. What do you do?
NO THANKS. I ALREADY DON’T TRUST IT. YIKES. 
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8. It seems like you won the lottery. What do you do with the money?
What does “seems like” supposed to mean? Am I being pranked?? lol how cruel. Depends on how much I win and how much is left after the taxes and shiz. Right? For the use I would like to help my family pay off their medical bills and such. Then use whatever I can for me. ^^
9. You’ve been given the chance to choose between life and death. Which one do you choose and why? Think before answering.
Is it for me? Or am I helping someone else perhaps? Well, I think either way I’d say “life” I mean it sounds like the more positive/better answer regardless. 0__0
10. Pick between an old book and a platinum Visa card. Which do you choose and why? hmm, maybe the book? Depending on what it’s about. Haha. Though the card has me baffled, is their money on it or something fortunate?? You really are confusing me Kyu.
11. Last question; you’re stranded on an island with a complete stranger. You only have one piece of bread with you that is enough to feed a mouth. What do you do? Do you hand over the bread, do you share half of it or do you keep it for yourself?
Guess I would share it just so maybe I can form some level of trust with this person, (even though we know that’s hard for me). Mostly in hopes that they don’t try and kill me or betray me or whatever. Idk. the possibilites seem endless here. :V WHat Are YoU gEtTinG AT KyU???!!?
I am probably super wrong with these Kyu questions ahaha. Oh well, it’s over now. (─‿‿─) I am not gonna make new questions my brain hurts from trying to answer all these lol. 
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