#this is also so well written wtf I have an image of this pub in my mind now and im mildly upset it isnt real

[imakle]

Rulfio the Barkeep is a licensed alcohol retailer and UNlicensed medical practitioner. Backstory is irrelevant except for the "med school dropout" part, and that the usual clientele for the pub is mercenary types who always have holes that need plugging (interpret at will) and poisons that need flushing.

Mariner's Delight is the house special. It's a panacea, the ingredients of which are only known to Rulfio hirself. BUT if you have the following ingredients on hand, you can approximate the experience: vodka, cranberry juice, seltzer, durian jam, lobster claw (crab is a fine substitute), moonshine, fish sauce, butterfly pea tea (for color), and ice. And an olive for garnish.

Effects: it will cure you. It will fix you. It will make you worse. It will let you see gods. It is laxative, diuretic, and emetic (hopefully not all at once). Pray you don't have a kidney stone because by the end you might have a kidney boulder (which is why Rulfio also gives you one Smoky Hill 50% off for every Mariner's Delight purchase). But above all else, if you finish the whole glass, you will earn the pub's eternal respect.

incredible,, u are insane for this but I respect it so much. if I crab/lobster/fish sauce did not make me sick I absolutely would try this. honestly i'd try it anyways, I just might die before I can finish

[dapperfvck-arc]

Uncommon Questions. 1-12

What position does your character sleep in? ( i.e; stomach, side, back, etc. ) Describe why they do this — optional.

John doesn’t sleep, he passes out from exhaustion. Seriously tho, usually on his back.

Does your character have any noteworthy features? Freckles? Dimples? A scar somewhere unusual? etc.

Honestly, though boring, I would have to say his eyes. Their shade, brightness, and intensity are very arresting. Since I have space to talk about John and unique characteristics in another question, I’ll save it for then.

Does your character have an accent? What does it sound like?

John is English, therefore he has an British accent. However, it is a very specific regional accent. John was born and raised in Liverpool until he moved to London at the age of seventeen. His vowels tend to be noticeably rounder while at the same time he tends to “eat words” for lack of a better well to put it. I do have a carefully selected voice claim in Jason Stathem (if you don’t know his name offhand, you prolly know him anyway. He’s in most of Guy Richie’s London gangster movies, but more notably in a bunch of action movies, Transporter, Crank, and some of the Fast and Furious films).

Do they have any verbal tics? Do they have trouble pronouncing certain words or getting their thoughts across clearly?

No, though his accent might make it sound like it because he can come off as somewhat marble-mouthed.

What are their chief tension areas?

Shoulders and he’s prone to sore throats.

If you were to pick one song — and only one song — to describe your character, what would it be and why?

Oh man. Shit. I’m thinking. Probably Up Jumped the Devil by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. 

How does your character perceive themselves? Positive? Negative? Neutral?

Neutral to negative, honestly. He’s not a fan of himself, but I mean, he’s obviously got a lot of self-confidence, too. So it’s a weird balance. The mix of arrogance and self loathing.

Are they a quick thinker or do they need time to sort through their thoughts?

Quick thinker. Always. John is brilliant on his feet. He only needs to sort out the really big problems.

Does your character dream or are their nights filled with an empty blackness? 

He has horrific nightmares. Part of the reason he doesn’t care much for sleeping.

Describe a dream they’ve had or a night they couldn’t sleep and what they did to preoccupy their time.

Most of his dreams run the same kind of course, either vaguely prophetic, NEWCASTLE! ASTRA! NORFULTHING!, or The First of the Fallen killing friends and loved ones again. Oh yeah, and probably Cheryl being tormented in Hell. That’s probably a fun one. I would also argue that that stupid fucking storyline that Millligan wrote about John’s demonic other half (which, never mind shouldn’t have even been a thing since he retconned Nergal’s blood back into him but lololol what’s continuity?) attempting to rape Gemma and she believes he was actually him reads like one of John’s worst nightmares. But ANYWAY. Let’s not go down that road before I start screaming hysterically about how Peter Milligan single handedly unravelled all of Andy Diggle’s sublime character development and building of John, who had written immediately previous to Milligan. As for what John does when he can’t sleep and isn’t working, he goes to pub, and I do think to some degree, he uses sex as something to exhaust his body and mind enough for maaayyybe dreamless or at least sleep with unmemorable dreams.

If they had a choice, would they prefer a subway or a bus for public transportation?

Neither. He’d walk or take a taxi. He doesn’t really care much of public transport. 

What do they think of creation? Do they believe in evolution or do they believe in God? What is their religion like?

Hooooo boy. So, one of the best scenes in the Constantine film is the conversation between John and Gabriel and at one point they question John’s faith and of course John is like wtf are you talking about, of course I believe, and they’re like there’s a difference between believing because you know it’s true and having faith, and that’s the perfect way to describe John’s relationship with religion and the divine. He believes in everything. All religions. All deities. Most mythical spirits/creatures/figures but he doesn’t have faith in any of them. Basically he’s an agnostic that knows the score. He believes, however, in evolution and largely believes Biblical creation is from the imagination of man. At his strangest (or highest), John might concede to the possibility of evolution being a part of intelligent design.

Describe 5 unusual characteristics your muse has.

Ok, as mentioned way back in the second question, I have a much more complex answer for this. John is, by and large, considered a bit of an every man. A blue collar mage. Yes, he’s considered quite handsome, but I’d posit even that supports the every man image. I have seen so many different fan casts for John. Paul Bettany, Daniel Craig, Jude Law, Ewan McGregor, Joe Gilgun (which is hysterical), even Gordon fucking Ramsay (I know he’s not an actor, but shit it’s funny to think about), just to name a few off the top of my head. John’s appearance was legitimately based on a musician/actor in his inception for Swamp Thing. The point is, you could conceivably cast just about any attractive blonde haired, blue eyed (preferably English, but I’ve seen James Marsters fancast as John, too, who’s an American actor that’s made a career of playing an Englishman, or in the case of in Torchwood, an alien with an English accent. So I mean, as long as they can pull a proper accent right?) actor and it would probably work out fine. This is also why I argue the choice of Keanu for the film might have been more deliberate than mere popularity at the time. But I’m already going on too long on this question. So yeah he has a few distinguishing characteristics, intense eyes, a scar over one of those eyes, and I have my whole scarification head canon, and a tattoo on his ass, but there’s nothing really unusual about him. John is meant to blend into a crowd, and while he might have a pleasant face, it’s ultimately forgettable unless he’s doing something unusual. Of course you’re going to remember the man who exorcised a demon from you, but you might not have remembered that same guy if you saw him on queue for a cup of coffee in a local cafe.