#this is an excuse for bj to do his favorite thing which is be completely in control of a situation

[remyfire]

slightly afeared (affectionate) but punnihawk sex therapy? and/or the jock strap one. (also YOU are incredible. 💜)

wip title ask meme

Hello!! Thank you again for the tag :D I love this game.

Okay I was mean to Christina in the last one (because to be fair she was the one I exhaustedly typed the synopsis to right before passing the fuck out so she knows Everything) so I will tell you the inciting event of this silly PWP instead.

Sometimes a triad really enjoys roleplaying. That can take all kinds of different forms. But sometimes what it looks like for them is one adorable dynamo of a woman getting to grab her boyfriend and pretend that they are newlyweds who are struggling to seal the deal because they're both too nervous to finally go all the way after all this time of repressing their desires.

And do you know who can be extremely helpful with that? Her darling husban—I mean, a really lovely and skilled sex therapist whose methods are perhaps unorthodox, but never fear! As long as they're willing to open their minds to close observation, verbal guidance, and some thorough practical demonstration, they'll be on their way to a long and happy life positively filled to the brim with sexual intimacy before they know it!

[slutforsilverfoxes]

ok i dont know if you do requests or not but this is just something thats been ricocheting around in my head for days and i need to get it out before my brain completely rots. whether or not you want to write it is up to you i just really needed to share this with a hotch lover.

nonbau!reader knowing that the team have a really tough local case their all working overtime on and deciding to try to cheer them up and destress them a bit so she spend a few hours cooking this amazing delicious meal because she knows they'll probably just get takeout. so she swings by the bau around 6ish with the food and the whole team flock around her and around hugging her and thanking her and immediately digging in.

hotch notices from his office and comes down looking way grouchier than normal and hes like "excuse me we have a case to work on im not sure why youre all standing around when theres work to be done. and r why are you here distracting my team they need to focus" before going back into his office and the team is shook bc aaron has NEVER spoken to you like that before. and youre highkey offended like ?? i spent hours of my time doing a nice thing and im getting bitched at like im his subordinate??

but then you slam your purse down on jjs desk, take your earrings out and put your hair up in a ponytail and youre like "give me 15 minutes and ill have that attitude sorted put no problem." before marching away into hotchs office locking the door and drawing the shades and derek and emily are crying laughing cause they know exactly whats about to happen but reid is confused like ??? is she gonna fight with him? why did she put her hair up? whats so funny? and pen and jj have to explain that you went up there to give him a bj and hes just like?!?! AT WORK?!?? and rossi is just watching the shenanigans unfold like 🤭🤭

and you do eventually come back down from his office wiping your mouth on the back of your hand and your hair is significantly more ruffled than before and hotch looks subdued and even a little embarrassed and he just mutters a quiet apology to the team before grabbing a plate of the food you brought (which is actually his favorite meal of yours) before kissing you and thanking you for coming to see him.

My oh my, do I love the way your mind works 😈 Thank you for this request (& for your patience as I took 84 years to write it)! I hope you enjoy 🖤

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x wife!reader

(-indicates reader's texts)

__________

A rapid series of buzzes on the table beside you has you pulling your attention away from the sizable dent you’ve made in the stack of thesis papers to be graded for your class. You exchange your favorite pen for your phone, unlocking the screen to find several texts from your closest friend sent in quick succession:

5:49pm SOS

5:49pm (Save Our Stomachs)

5:50pm Pls we’ve been going in circles on this case and he’s in a Mood

You can’t help but smile at the he in question, your stoic, stalwart husband- and your friend’s unit chief. You fire back a response:

-5:50pm Em :( Is he holed up in his office?

5:50pm You know it

-5:51pm Classic 🙄 Lucky for youuuu I’m already making dinner for my favorite people!

The oven timer beeps as if to punctuate your statement, and you rise from your spot at the kitchen table while typing out another message.

-5:51pm Scratch that- it’s ready. Be there asap rocky

-5:51pm Be brave little soldier 🫡

5:53pm You’re my fucking hero

You gather enough plates and cutlery to dish up dinner to the team of agents, then pack them up alongside the foil-covered Pyrex container fresh out of the oven. Deciding against changing out of your yoga pants and your boyfriend’s old law school t-shirt, you pluck the pencil out of your bun that was holding your hair up and toss it onto the table, snag your keys, and make your way out to the car.

The drive into the city is a relatively short one, given that most of the traffic is heading in the opposite direction at this time on a Friday evening. You navigate your way into the parking garage, then head upstairs with your precious cargo.

“Evening, Mrs. Hotchner,” your favorite security guard greets you as you step out of the elevator, and you flash him a smile with a greeting in return. “Come grab a plate when you’re done your rounds,” you call over your shoulder, and his answering grin tells you he’ll be patrolling the floor a little faster than usual tonight.

Four heads pop up from their desks at the sound of the glass double doors opening, shoulders sagging with relief when they spot your bright smile and the telltale bag in your hand that means dinner is served. Derek’s quick to jump up and help you with the heavy container as Emily, Spencer, and JJ follow the two of you into the round table room, animatedly filling you in on their day. JJ’s fingers fly across her screen, and Penelope is rounding the doorway from the back hallway by the time you make it upstairs and start setting up, arms outstretched to pull you into a hug while declaring, “You’re my favorite Hotchner, did you know that?”

“We both know I come second to Jack,” you joke, and Emily lets out a happy groan as she digs into her meal, professing, “You’re at least tied now.”

A pair of solid hands lands on your shoulders from behind, and you feel the familiar scratchiness of Dave’s beard pressing kisses to your cheeks in greeting. “What would we do without you?”

With a laugh, you turn to offer him a helping and answer, “Simply perish.”

Your heart swells as the team settles down around the table enjoying the home cooked meal, but there’s one very obvious absence. A glance at your husband’s office reveals the door is still closed, the room dark save for a glow through the open blinds that you know is from his little desk lamp. Deciding to give him a few more minutes of solitude before barging in and demanding that he take a break to eat, you join your friends at the table to tell them about the senior prank your students recently pulled in an attempt to give their minds a reprieve from their current case.

“I bet you Morgan did stuff like that all the time,” JJ accuses amid catching her breath from laughing at the story about the two chickens released on the top floor, cleverly labeled one and three.

Derek smiles back, ready to take credit, but Emily cuts in with, “A psychological prank like that sounds more like something Spence would do.”

“C’mon now, pretty boy wouldn’t want to inconvenience his teacher,” Derek teases, eliciting a pout from the youngest of the team who counters with, “Hey, I won that prank war against-”

“What’s going on here?”

A hush falls over the room at the sound of Aaron’s voice, the question itself seemingly innocent but its intention clearly to reprimand. Five pairs of eyes drop downward, leaving only you and Dave making eye contact, the older man mouthing an empathetic, Busted, in your direction.

Unbothered, you swivel in your chair to meet your husband’s gaze with a cherubic smile, your voice positively dripping in honey. “Mom’s feeding the kids because Dad forgot that sustenance is important for your brain and body. Now c’mon, take a break and-”

“Does it seem like I have time for that right now?”

Your eyebrows shoot up at his tone, and you drop the teasing lilt to your voice. “Aar, I just wanted you guys to-”

“Go home, Y/N, please,” he requests quietly, pressing his thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose with a soft exhale. “We can’t afford to be distracted right now. Everybody finish up and get back to work.” He turns on his heel and returns to his office without so much as a hello or goodbye or thank you, my love, for being so thoughtful and taking care of us directed your way.

Once his footfalls have receded, the entire group releases a collective breath as if they’ve just escaped being chewed out by the principal- at your expense. When you turn back around, you’re met with expressions of shock that reflect your own, like the kids literally just witnessed their dad being mean to their mom for the first time.

“You know how Aaron gets with a case,” Dave tries to soothe your ruffled feathers, and JJ jumps in with, “I’m sure he didn’t mean to come off like that, Y/N, he’s just-”

“Stressed?” you finish her thought for her. You rise abruptly from your chair, dropping your purse on the table with a resounding thud before digging through it to find a spare hair tie. “I know he is. And I also know my husband did not just say that to my face,” you grumble under your breath, combing your fingers through your hair to pull it into a quick ponytail while continuing your tirade. “After I spent hours making a meal between doing my own work? No sir, uh uh, SSA Hotchner. That man needs to relax.”

Spencer leans over to Derek while you carry on quietly cursing their boss for his attitude and asks, “Should we be concerned?”

Derek lets out a snicker before answering, “Maybe for Hotch’s di-”

“Dignity!” JJ cuts in with a sharp look at her colleague, trying and failing to suppress her own smile.

You pause in the doorway, squaring your shoulders before turning back to the team to say, “You guys eat. Enjoy. I’ll take care of your boss.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Emily snorts out, clearly amused. Laughter, applause, and a distinct wolf whistle courtesy of Derek follow you down the carpeted walkway to your husband’s office.

-----(Read Behind Closed Doors here!)-----

When you return to the round table room several not-so-subtle minutes later, you’re greeted by a bunch of giddy smiles, a knowing look from Rossi, and Spencer’s pink-tinged cheek since he’s refusing to make eye contact with you. “All better,” you announce proudly, dropping into a chair before tugging the hair tie from your now slightly tangled locks and combing your fingers through a few persistent knots. “Everybody good and full?”

“Some more than oth-”

You cut your sharp gaze over to Derek and he mimes zipping his mouth shut, a smirk still playing at his lips.

“What he means to say,” Pen huffs, slapping his shoulder, “is thank you so much for dinner, sweetie.”

“It was my pleasure,” you answer genuinely. “You know I love taking care of you guys.”

“And we’re very lucky you do,” your husband’s baritone voice rumbles from the doorway behind you. You turn to find a sufficiently chastened Aaron entering the room, and you offer him your cheek when he places his hands on your shoulders and bends to press a kiss to your smiling face. “I, uh, just wanted to apologize for my earlier-”

“Temper tantrum?” you offer, and Aaron squeezes your shoulders in warning before continuing, “Outburst. I let the stress of the case get the best of me and neglected my duties to prioritize the health of this team. Luckily, my darling wife is always there to make up for my shortcomings.”

You catch your best friend’s eye and shoot her an exaggerated wink at your husband’s word choice, forcing Emily to cover up a laugh with a cough. Aaron’s hand slides over to the nape of your neck, and you know you’re in for it once this case is over.

And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

__________

AH tags 🖤 @gothwifehotchner @iyv-ray24 @mrs-ssa-hotch @criminalskies @callm3c0nfus3d

[hamliet]

Dabi’s Missing Heart

So I’ve been seeing two main responses to Dabi’s character as portrayed in BNHA 292, both of which I feel touch on a very surface understanding of his character and role in the story despite seeming like opposite takes.  

Take #1: 

Dabi is an unfeeling monster created to show the redeemability of Shigaraki and Enji in contrast with his true eeeevil villainy! He will never be redeemed! 

Take #2: 

Dabi is a sweet softy who did nothing wrong! He will never be redeemed because of this chapter which is so out-of-character! 

Note how they both have the same endpoint. I’m not actually gonna address the redemption question much because I can’t fathom what this panel foreshadows if not Touya’s salvation (alive): 

I’m not looking to debate this either; I’m just putting it here because I know it’ll come up if I don’t.

Instead, I wanna address Dabi’s character. He’s my favorite, and I’ve been asked a few different times whether I enjoy him as a villain or as an uwu poor baby, and my answer is always both. 

Dabi is a villain. This chapter’s rampage is, in my opinion, not remotely out of character for him. But neither is it the summation of his character, and he surely is not meant to make Enji look good by comparison. 

So, who is Dabi? 

Dabi is kind of a flaming jerk, and that’s why I like him. He’s an abuse victim who gets to be angry and crass and sharp. He pushes people away because he doesn’t want to open up to them and get burned (heh). He’s just like Shouto in that, except with a dose of murder. 

Believe it or not, this is a very realistic response to abuse, and very common too. It’s good to see that representation. If the writing was indeed just “he’s bad get rid of him,” well, that would of course be a terrible representation. But seeing a mean victim get redeemed? Now that’s some good sh*t I’m here for. 

If you want a sweethearted, misunderstood soft victim, there is one in MHA, and that’s Shigaraki. Dabi is not these things, but that does not mean he’s not a victim or that he’s somehow an unfeeling monster.

You see, Shigaraki is a heart character. Dabi’s the mind. (Heart and mind characters are a literary pattern that is utilized in literature across the globe; it’s not an eastern/western cultural thing. It has its roots in alchemy.) The problem is that you can’t have a heart without a mind nor a mind without a heart. If you lack one, you’re missing half the picture, and you won’t accomplish anything. 

We see this with Shigaraki in his quest to look for ideals, something to believe in, purpose to justify/enable acting on his feelings/emotions. 

Dabi, in contrast, has conviction and ideals, but eschews any kind of personal connection and care. 

So, both Shigaraki and Dabi struggle to unite heart and mind--but they need to do precisely this. 

It’s not a coincidence that Shigaraki expressly envisions both Dabi and Himiko when musing on what his purpose is. 

Yet Shigaraki is able to unite more easily with Himiko as opposed to Dabi because Himiko is also a heart character. She claims to be motivated by extreme empathy that warps around to become a lack thereof (wanting to be who she loves).

Shigaraki’s motivations are basically revenge for hero society not saving him--which encompasses both a deep internal and external (societal) need for empathy and a need for better ideals. Shigaraki needs Himiko and Dabi. They’re a trio, and all of them need each other to grow. But Himiko, being similarly driven expressly by emotions, is easier for Shigaraki to understand and work with. 

The irony is that Dabi is actually a very, very emotional character as well. But what he does (as is typical for a mind character) is repress them, compartmentalize, dissociate. He constantly pushes people away, yet admits privately, to himself, that he’s primarily (and paradoxically) motivated by family. This is emotional, yet Dabi claims he “overthought” and, according to other translations, “snapped” can be actually be read as “went crazy” as a result over overthinking (note: both are mind allusions). 

Dabi repressing who he is--Todoroki Touya--is symbolic of him repressing his emotional side, because again, family and emotions are tied together for his character. Now his identity is acknowledged, and Dabi claims to be losing his mind (again), claims that he can’t feel, and yet is completely consumed by emotions. Like, does anyone think he’s being methodical and calculating this chapter? 

It’s not just negative emotions (rage, hate) that drive Dabi in response to his family. His seeking belonging and emotional connection is present even in a chapter where he tries to murder two members of his family and laughs off the risk to the life of another. 

See, Dabi first asked Shouto to validate his pain:

But like, given the circumstances, of course Shouto doesn’t really respond well. How Shouto responds is this: 

Shouto’s words are triggering. And keep in mind I am not blaming Shouto: he’s in shock and he’s a kid. I’m merely trying to explain how it likely comes across to Dabi. 

You’re crazy. Your feelings don’t matter. You don’t really care about Natsuo! You’re a villain and that’s ALL you are. Not a brother or abuse survivor. Just a villain. 

So, uh, yeah, Dabi then retreats back to being unable to feel, dissociating as has always been his coping mechanism. But that’s not all: Dabi’s been repressing for so long that of course he’s gonna go a little insane in response to the dismissal of everything he’s trying to point out. Why wouldn’t he? His family dismissed his pain back then and now again, and so, without that heart, without those emotions, principle is all Dabi has. This has been present since long before Stain’s ideology came into his life: 

Now, he answers this question of existence through Stain’s ideology.  Purpose is all he has, and to him, Shouto and Best Jeanist are dismissing that too. Why are they dismissing it? Best Jeanist dismisses him for an ideal: the overall good of hero society. Shouto has a mixture of this ideal and also like, genuine shock and pain. 

Back to Dabi. Dabi’s summation of himself and his purpose is incorrect and harmful to himself and others. I’m not excusing him or justifying, just explaining. It’s a tragic reflection of what Endeavor raised both Touya and Shouto to be (and thereby ironic that BJ uses an ideal to dismiss him): 

Instead of being raised to be the symbol of hero society--as Endeavor intended--he exists to destroy it. The root is the same: Dabi assumes he exists for hero society, as a tool. He dehumanizes himself, hence why his quirk physically harms him (which also fits his almost religious zeal for Stain’s ideology). But it is not all Dabi is. He’s not a tool, he’s a person, but to acknowledge he’s a person involves acknowledging his heart/emotional desires, and that gets to my next point.

Dabi’s not a reliable narrator about himself. At all. I’ve written about Dabi and dissociation before. So let’s look at Dabi’s devotion to his ideals, the ideals he puts above people and claims he only cares about... because there are moments where Dabi goes against those ideals. 

For one example, Dabi’s gone against those ideals when he’s allowed his personal need for revenge (an emotional/heart motivation) to overcome his longterm plan. Like, he was fully about to get himself killed here, even though that would likely mean no one would know the corruption of the Todoroki family and hero society, just for the chance to prove to his father that he hurt him. 

In addition, I’ve talked before about how Dabi’s the only character in the entire damn manga to comment that maybe using child soldiers is not okay. While it’s not explicitly stated, it’s reasonable to conclude that Dabi considers the abuse of children in hero training a sin of hero society that ought to be purged (hence, part of his ideals). 

That said, I have also pointed out that Dabi has gone after children in the past when it benefits his mission (Bakugou would like a word). So let’s look at four examples of Dabi and his principles concerning kids--since, after all, he claims to be motivated by heroes who hurt kids. 

Firstly, Dabi’s “save the cat” when he spared Aoyama. 

Why did he spare Aoyama? We can only speculate, but it seems quite likely there are two reasons: 1) hurting Aoyama would not add anything to his overall goal of downing hero society, and 2) a terrified, cowering kid might just have been a teeny bit familiar to Dabi. Here, his ideals--destroying hero society--either take a backseat to a reflection of his personal pain (and)/or his ideal of not abusing kids directly contradicted his ideal of bringing down hero society. But the important part is that in this instance, Dabi chose mercy and the goal of bringing down hero society was jeopardized as a result. 

So then why did he attack Tokoyami, Nejire, and Shouto this arc? Well, Dabi does things he knows are wrong for the sake of accomplishing his overall purpose. He does things he knows hurt himself for this purpose. This isn’t new. If he can’t be acknowledged, can’t exist as a person with emotions, then he at least will ensure he still has a purpose.  

In addition, let’s look at what sets Dabi off in all of these instances. (Again, this isn’t me saying “well actually Dabi’s justified.” He’s not. I’m just pointing to what’s in the text to explain the machinations beyond “bad guy do bad.”)

Dabi tries to reason with Tokoyami, pointing out that Twice was doing essentially what Tokoyami is doing: trying to save his friend(s), but Tokoyami doesn’t listen (also again: not me saying Tokoyami should have listened--realistically, in this situation, it makes sense Tokoyami trusted his mentor!)

Only after his reasoning was rejected did Dabi go to flames mode. He could have just let Tokoyami save Hawks, but instead he really wanted to kill Hawks and that overrode his other principles. Was this just because of his furthering his goal--killing the #2 hero would help destroy hero society--or because of a sense of personal revenge for Twice? That’s open for interpretation (in my opinion, it’s likely a mixture, because again, it tends to intertwine more than Dabi likes to think it does). His principles and/or emotions are brushed aside, and Dabi Does Not Like That. 

Dabi does this again with Shouto this chapter, asking him where he stands on their family issues, and gets brushed aside, and then Shouto goes into his rage mode and Dabi responds. Again, not saying Shouto is rational here or that he should side with Dabi’s murderous plan, but like, his words really don’t come across well to Dabi. 

Dabi going after Shouto after explaining things, asking Shouto for help, and then having his pain dismissed is pretty much a repeat of Tokoyami. When Dabi’s pain is dismissed, he says fine, let’s aim for the highest principle possible: making Stain’s will a reality, and damn any emotional ties. 

Dabi’s obsession with ideals, you might say, is a smokescreen to cover his own pain. Far from feeling nothing, he feels very deeply. (I promise I’m getting to Nejire.) 

So what does this indicate? Well, that Dabi does have a heart and a conscience. But when he lets his heart act, when his heart reaches out, he gets burned. His heart jeopardizes his overall purpose, so he most often dissociates himself from it. But by pretending he doesn’t have a heart, he dehumanizes himself, and he projects that dehumanization onto others (see: seeing Shouto as an extension of Endeavor, when that’s actually the precise image Shouto is trying to shed). 

It’s not a coincidence that Shigaraki has been unconscious during the entire confrontation with Endeavor, nor is it a coincidence that Himiko has been MIA. But, Shigaraki wakes up a bit this chapter not only when hearing Dabi spout about how hero society needs to burn, an ideal/the thing Shigaraki lacks, and through a less important but still-ideal-driven character in Spinner asking him to accomplish his supposed ideal of destruction, but when Dabi saves Shigaraki and Spinner. 

Dabi doesn’t burn Nejire for lols (not that this makes it better because it doesn’t) or even for ideals. He burns her to save Shigaraki and Spinner, because they are his links to full humanity right now. 

(Again, this is also dissociation and projection: Endeavor did this! No, Dabi, you did. You’re perpetuating violence against kids rather than stopping it.)

But anyways, when Dabi calls upon heart, Shigaraki wakes. He lends Gigantomachia and thereby Dabi and the league power. 

Dabi can only grow and actually accomplish anything related to his ideals (fixing hero society) through accepting a heart--even though that will likely mean some painful surgery to shift his ideals to accommodate said heart, because pure ideals don’t leave much room for humanity. He needs to feel to actually change anything, because right now he’s just making things worse (hence, the need for saving and redemption).

I know the League aren’t the protagonists of the serIes, but their complaints aren’t exactly incorrect either (if anything they’re almost a little too valid). But through growing together, Dabi, Shigaraki, and Himiko might actually be able to accomplish something, and get themselves in a place where they can be reached and saved by Shouto, Deku, and Ochaco. Because to be saved, the kids will have to acknowledge the villains’ pain and complaints, and do something about it. 

[sgmwesters]

╰ ❛ 💉 — › michael b jordan. cis male. he/him. . ╯ have you met benjamin morgan yet ? this thirty five year old sagittarius has been living in the seattle area for three days. he makes a living as an otolaryngology (ent) attending, which is best suited for their protective, empathetic, conflicted, and irrational personality. take me to church by hozier is one of their favorite songs, and they’re written by em, 25, gmt, she/her, no triggers

B A S I C   I N F O R M A T I O N

full name: benjamin joseph morgan.

nickname(s): ben, bj in college.

age: thirty four (34).

date of birth: 26 november 1985, sagittarius.

hometown: manhattan, new york.

current location: seattle, washington.

ethnicity: african-american..

nationality: american citizen.

gender: cis male.

pronouns: he/him.

orientation: ??? idek why i even include this at this point???

religion: atheist.

political affiliation: democrat.

occupation: otolaryngology (ent) attending.

living arrangements: lives alone.

language(s) spoken: english, german.

accent: none.

P H Y S I C A L    A P P E A R A N C E

face claim: michael b. jordan.

hair color: black.

eye color: brown.

height: 6 ft 1.

weight: 188lbs.

build: athletic.

tattoos: none.

piercings: none.

clothing style: scrubs, smart casual otherwise.

usual expression: fairly stern, but he’s a softy deeeeeeep down.

distinguishing characteristics: dimples.

H E A L T H

physical ailments: torn rotator cuff in high school has left his shoulder somewhat fucked.

neurological conditions: none.

allergies: bee and wasp stings.

sleeping habits: fairly good sleep hygiene, sleeps well provided nothing is bothering him (maddie).

eating habits: usually fairly healthy, likes to look after himself.

exercise habits: as above, likes to look after himself.

emotional stability: sits happily at a seven, but has been known to dip in times of stress or emotional turmoil.

sociability: very sociable, likes to be around people.

body temperature: warm.

addictions: none.

drug use: none and is very against its use.

alcohol use: enjoys a drink, but doesn’t need it.

P E R S O N A L I T Y

positive traits: protective, empathetic

negative traits: conflicted, irrational

fears: not being able to keep maddie safe and healthy.

F A V O U R I T E S

weather: is indifferent about the weather.

colour: navy.

music: something with a heavy beat.

movies: the godfather.

sport: boxing.

beverage: fruit smoothie, bourbon.

food: hot dogs.

animal: anything small, soft, and fluffy.

H E A D C A N O N S

benjamin was born as the only child to regina and david morgan, a museum curator and ceo respectively in manhattan.

benjamin was raised in close proximity to his cousin madeleine spencer, to the extent where benjamin considers maddie to be more like a sibling to him than a cousin. this came from both of their parents busy schedules and similar lifestyles which led him to be brought up in this manner.

benjamin would like to think that his parents were happily married, but it was only as he got older that he realised the family set up that he had grown up with as a child wasn’t the same as everyone else’s. nevertheless, he figured that it worked for them as it was, and he still considers himself to have had a good childhood.

spending as much time in the spencer household as he did, benjamin sparked a genuine interest in medicine, looking up to his uncle, madeleine’s father, as a role model and idol for his future career in medicine.

benjamin was athletic in school, actively taking part in boxing and baseball. he hoped from early on in high school that he would be able to get into a good school on a baseball scholarship so he wouldn’t need to focus as hard on his studies, but a torn rotator cuff in his sophomore year quickly killed that dream, and he came to the quick conclusion that he had to get his head in the books.

as much as he would hate to admit it, he knew that his parents pulled a few strings when it came to his offers for college, but the decision ultimately came down to him. during this time he had watched madeleine begin to spiral out of control, the concern for his cousin and arguably best friend only growing with each day that passed.

it was during this time that benjamin turned down the offer from harvard that his father had swindled for him, choosing instead to stay closer to the city in order to be nearby while madeleine got the help she had promised her parents she would get.

he was thankful for this decision as the realisation that she hadn’t been getting help came about following amelia shepherd’s overdose. while madeleine was in rehab, benjamin made a point of visiting her as much as he could, skipping classes if he needed to to make sure that she felt supported. she was basically his kid sister after all.

as madeleine got clean, benjamin took the mcats, scoring high enough to be accepted into john’s hopkins off his own back this time. as madeleine was seemingly doing well, benjamin decided to move that little bit further out, knowing he would be close enough if she needed him to return.

it was during this time that the two established their bi-weekly phone calls, no excuses allowed, his way of keeping an eye on her completely.

benjamin moved that little bit further for his residency to mayo, just as madeleine moved to switzerland for her masters. it made sense, he was happy for her and continued to adjust his schedule to make sure their phone calls went ahead as they needed to, suiting her schedule over his.he would often stay awake until the early hours of the morning just to speak to her.

his residency was fairly smooth sailing, despite a period of switching between services as he was indecisive about what specialty he was going to go into. he had always had his heart set on cardio like his uncle, but it only took one case with the ent attending to have him hooked.

as he came to the end of his fellowship, he debated the idea of having a second specialty (he’s a bit of a show off like that), but a nagging feeling inside of him told him something more important was coming.

his calls with madeleine weren’t like they used to be, years of regularity and consistency seemed to be falling apart, with nothing that he could do from where he was. he wanted to believe that this was part of the recovery, that she didn’t need him the way she used to, but he couldn’t be certain.

the night of amelia’s intervention, benjamin received a frantic phone call from madeleine and he knew then that things were not good. whether she was high or just drunk he couldn’t have been certain at first, it was only as she spoke about everybody leaving her the he snapped into action. she’d fallen off the wagon, and he’d be damned if he was going to stand by and let it happen.

benjamin packed a bag and hopped on the first plane to seattle, ready to hold an intervention of his own if he needs to. as far as he is concerned he’s here for maddie and nothing else.

2 0 2 1    U P D A T E S

turned thirty five cos that’s how birthdays work !!

after maddie decided to get clean, benjamin went with her to new york to ensure she fully embarked on her recovery. as much as seattle had only meant to have been a means to an end for benjamin, he found himself wanting to return.

he’s been keeping a low profile at the hospital, but is just kinda keeping things ticking over. he’s still ben. 

W A N T E D    C O N N E C T I O N S / P L O T S

i know i say they all deserve love but really ben deserves love

friends from med school/residency!!! 

[szivtalan]

Fushimi, Misaki Yata, Bojack, Diane and Princess Carolyn for the character thing please?

i’m doing a whole read more bc this is long as shit

Fushimi Saruhiko

do I like them: yes, he is my bastard son and I would die for him.

5 good qualities: smart, resilient, really fucking tough, caring towards his friends, knows when to move on.

3 bad qualities: he can be kind of obsessive, the self-loathing levels are off the fucking charts, and also he’s sort of a psycho?

favourite episode/etc: his  introductory episode is chefs kiss, but I think my favorite Fushimi  moments are in the kotatsu chapter of the manga. Also, the interaction  between him and Totsuka in which Totsuka asks him to give a reason for  his betrayal later.

otp: you can take SaruMi out of my cold dead hands

brotp: Fushimi and the Scepter4 guys are so goddamn dorky together

ot3: I have a thing for Munakata/Fushimi/Mikoto eeeuugh don’t judge ok. Alternatively, Munakata/Fushimi/Awashima is also Really Nice

notp: apparently some people ship him with his dad, I’d say that.

best quote:  probably the “I can’t stand people with a big heart.” monologue. It’s  actually really relatable, resenting people for being too good and  making someone else feel inferior bc of it.

head canon:  This is already canon, but I think not many people are aware that  Fushimi self-harms. In my opinion, he also does it underneath the  bullshit little cloth around his forearms, but you have to consider that  the HOMRA tattoo might represent the team itself, but it is on his  skin. He burned that shit and refuses to let it heal completely by  picking at it every five minutes - which also happens whenever he’s  feeling stressed or melancholic about the past. That is self harm.

Yata Misaki

do I like them: oh of Course, he’s baby

5 good qualities: his love, his loyalty, his absolute shyness with girls (gay cough so very gay), his subtle naivety and his honesty

3 bad qualities: his temper, his obliviousness, and his inability to resolve tension

favourite episode/etc: I loved their flashbacks with Fushimi?

otp: SaruMi, ofc

brotp: Totsuka/Yata

ot3:  man he is Baby, he can barely get it on w one person without getting  flustered but I wanna say he could be involved in that  Kusanagi/Mikoto/Totsuka threeway

notp: I would bet my ass he is in some way shipped w Niki too.

best quote: I can’t think of any notable one

head canon:  I think he did try to reach out to Fushimi quite a few times ever since  they separated, since he doesn’t have much pride to swallow. It was  probably Fushimi who kept avoiding him.

BoJack Horseman

do I like them: y......yes. Very much so

5 good qualities: n/a I MEAN he is witty, smart, and he cares a lot about people in his own way. Also, he’s sensitive but he would never admit to it

3 bad qualities: I guess using people to his own selfish needs and being unable to admit to it or make amends?

favourite episode/etc: 5x6 Free Churro. That whole episode was painfully real; also 4x6 Stupid Piece of Sh*t

otp: I was really rooting for him and Diane in the beginning

brotp: Todd or Peanutbutter. They just... look out for him and its..... so good

ot3: Pb/Diane/BoJack would’ve been nice

notp: Do people ship him with Penny or Sarah Lynn? I feel like they do. gross

best quote: “You know, sometimes I feel like I was born with a leak...”

head canon: I do think he is remorseful and feels struck by guilt every waking hour like he said he is,,, that still doesn’t excuse his shitty behavior

Diane Nguyen

do I like them: I do love her very much

5 good qualities:  she cares about so many things and she isn’t afraid to vocalize her  opinion, even when the whole world turns on her bc of them. I respect  that kind of bravery in someone, that kind of sense of individual  responsibility to make the world a better place. She’s everything I used  to want to be.

3 bad qualities: she gets way in over  her head about things and she is kind of attached to her own  melancholy, but I think that’s really just depression speaking most of  the time.

favourite episode/etc: the one in which she decides to take medication and get better.

otp: Diane/BoJack  could’ve worked if the show had a more idealistic and less realistic  take on flawed people. But she is way better off with Guy

brotp:  I appreciate how they were there for each other with PC, and how she  had a civil relationship with Peanutbutter after their divorce and  initial stupidity following that.

ot3: Pb/Diane/BJ

notp:  gosh, idk. I’m not familiar with fandom takes but I’m sure I could find  something to frown upon once I get to digging. I guess I would say her  and Pb weren’t really good for each other?

best quote: “Sometimes, life’s a bitch and then you keep on living.”

head canon: she’s such a well rounded character I have no other thoughts to add

Princess Carolyn

do I like them: I will defend PC with my LIFE

5 good qualities: extremely hardworking and determined, caring to a fault, indescribably loving and nurturing, tough as fuck

3 bad qualities: caring to a fault, naive despite her strong will, gets comfortable with the roles he assigns to the people in her life to the point of not really being able to let them grow/change from it (e.g her relationship with Vanessa and Bojack)

favourite episode/etc: the one where she goes to meet the adoptive mother of her child

otp: I’m really good with Judah/PC

brotp: PC and Todd could take over the world and I’d be cool w it

ot3: I really see her as a one-person-cat

notp: it was painful to see in the end how attached she actually was to BoJack,,,, also I used to like her with Ralph but the whole cat-racism thing was a huge nope

best quote: “I compulsively take care of other people when I don’t know how to take care of myself.” dare I say, HUGE mood

head canon: I have nothing to add except that she’s fucking great

[talkingismylifewrites]

18 19 and 22 ! love your work and hope you're doing ok!

18. what is a line/scene you’re really proud of? give us the dvd commentary for that scene.

Crouching down, he began to shove the photos back into the box, careful not to bend them or touch the glossy finish. But the moment he picked up the first handful, he stopped, staring in confusion down at his own face squished next to John's. He flipped it over to the next photo, this time just him grinning at the camera. The next, John, looking rather displeased, Roger's hand holding his cheeks tightly. Next. The two of them curled up on a couch, their heads bent together in sleep. Next. John from behind, but in Roger's fur coat. Roger hugging John. Roger and John drunk at a party, winking at the camera over glasses of beer. The two of them eating orange slices, showing off orange rind teeth. John asleep on the bus. Roger attempting to pour tea. John tuning his bass. Roger in John's lap. John laughing while Roger wrapped an arm around his waist. John and Roger. John and Roger. John and Roger.

John and Roger kissing. Roger was half on John, one hand threaded through John's hair, the other tight on his waist. It wasn't a kiss between friends, or even a kiss you'd give as a joke. It was a kiss. One between lovers.

Roger dropped the photos.

In the films, your memory comes back in some dramatic fashion full of tears and pain and a sequence of someone shaking apart while they clutch at their brain, agonized by the rush of memories. The amnesiac panics and flutters, weeping as it all comes back, hitting them over and over like a tsunami of pain and memory.

It was not like that for Roger. For Roger, they returned with a half sigh and the relief of finally coming home. It was like the missing piece that had been gone for so long finally snapped back into place, the key slipped into the lock, his compass finally pointed north. He picked up the photograph and his head broke through the surf, and finally, finally, he could breathe again. Out of the water and onto the shore. Between one second and the next, he felt whole after months and months of feeling empty and broken, searching for everything he had lost.

Roger rocked back onto his heels, collapsing on to the ground in muted shock as it all came back. Everything from their fights to their relationship to every damn dream he’d had and written off as a fantasy. John—his John—not Dominique. All of it, everything he had thought was true was wrong. It was all wrong, all of it. Dominique was wrong. Just being John's friend was wrong. Not loving John was wrong.

"Holy shit," he whispered, crouching down to trace the photo with shaking fingers. Freddie had taken it, in '79. They'd been over at Brian's for dinner and Scrabble, stretching it late into the night. Roger had been complaining about it being late and wanting to go home, but John had been winning and didn't want to forfeit. Roger had crawled into his lap and murmured all the dirty things he was going to do him when they got home. After one particularly filthy suggestion, John had given in and kissed him, licking deep into his mouth just long enough for Freddie to snap the pic, before throwing in his tiles and dragging a smug Roger home.

Because they still lived together. Not as friends, as partners. Boyfriends, lovers, paramours, as John's Kept Man. They were together, had been since January 21, 1978—Roger had missed their anniversary. He'd forgotten it, laid up in bed and sickly and John had never said anything.

"John," Roger murmured, dropping the picture again. "John!"

He had to call John, he had to see him. Scrambling to his feet, he practically flew out of the bedroom—their bedroom—and down the stairs, stumbling as he skipped steps in his haste to get to the phone, to get to John. What would he say? It's me; I remember; I love you; how could I ever forget you?

so i’ve definitely spoken about this being my favorite passage, but i can’t deny that its probably the section i’m most proud of. first of all, it was one of the first scenes ever written. for dyldyl; right off the bat i knew exactly how i wanted the reveal to go (although slightly different in some parts, instead of it being a photo of john and roger kissing, it was going to be a letter roger had written to john that discussed a morning bj in exchange for putting away the laundry). i wanted roger’s initial reaction to the revelation that he’d forgotten to be confusion that melted into sheer joy, and then for it to melt into horror and hurt. 

i also wanted to show that the act of remembering itself is not traumatic, in fact, it’s welcomed and almost as though roger can finally relax. roger remembers and he’s fine, he can breathe again, he’ll find john and be reunited with the man that he loves. 

i also very sneakily reference this particular scene many many times throughout john’s chapters as a kind of juxtaposition of who they are. john spends his nights sitting in the closet staring at their photos and remembering what they once had; so does roger. john also runs down the stairs the same way as roger in his haste to get to him, he skips steps, grabs the banister, spins himself around, he’s leaping down the steps to get to him. 

and, there are some mirrored references to john’s hurt in the same way as roger’s hurt. john’s hurt by the fact that roger has forgotten, roger is hurt by the fact that john remembered. the two of them are two sides of the same coin, and roger regaining his memory puts them both on equal if shaky ground. 

furthermore, the act of hiding the photographs is the kiss of death for both john and roger. for john, tucking away the photographs (which he has admitted are mostly his; john is the keeper of their relationship not just in pictures but in memories as well) is the sign that things are at their lowest, that the relationship he knew and cherished has ended. for roger, the hiding of the photographs is the very same, only for very different reasons. one was done purposefully, the other was done to them. 

i like to think that i managed to get the right sort of mood and expression of emotions right for something like this, and that i did roger’s memories justice. 

19. who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? why?

john is actually really hard for me, which is surprising because i’m literally writing four chapters from his pov that come in at 157k, plus however long chapter seven will be. i think it just takes me a while to get into his mindset? and sometimes i’ll write something that’s too ooc. john is so reserved in the sense that he holds himself really taught, and when he does break its an explosion of emotion and sort of overwhelming. he’s funny and witty and rude and so strong? but he’s also reserved. i tend to write to extremes, and that doesn’t commute with john. if it were roger dealing with john’s amnesia, it would be lots of anger and fury and tears and an overwhelming need to be supported, while john is kinda more ‘i’m going to hold it all right here in my chest until i die please excuse me while i go lick my wounds in private’. so it takes me a while and a couple of rewrites to get that tone exactly perfect. hence why john’s chapters have taken me so much longer (that, and the length). 

i also really struggle with freddie’s motives and voice, which surprises me because i think i’m the most like freddie? (okay, if freddie and roger had a baby and it was tag team raised by crystal and john). i actually tried writing a fic from freddies pov completely and i’m not gonna lie i really struggled with it. i think its because freddie is such an oxymoron of a personality. outward he’s very bright and brash and very social, constantly in your face with who he is and how he behaves, but internally he’s very shy and also reserved. his public image is very different from that of his private, and it can be hard to juggle the two of them. if you make the mistake of making him that brash and loud person when the time calls for his quiet side, you can lose the character in the blink of an eye. in order for me to understand his character and the voice i want for him, i have to try a little harder and write a little slower. 

it’s easy to make freddie just be like ‘darling’ and ‘oh how very dare you!’ and all other sorts of platitudes, but that wasn’t him. roger has said he was very shy and insecure, and that he put on an act, which is easily seen in certain interviews or when he’s been filmed without his knowledge. so finding that balance between devastatingly funny and extroverted freddie with his more introverted side can be hard. especially because the very last thing i’d ever want to do is make him a caricature of who he was. 

the easiest pov for me is roger because i basically just think: is this how a gold retriever raised in a frat house with access to cocaine would behave?? and if the answer is yes then i know it’s roger. if no, then it’s john. if fuck yeah, where’s the booze? it’s crystal. 

22. have you cried while writing a fic?

yes, but only because i was so frustrated over it. never because what i wrote was sad, because if i’m thinking it, i can compartmentalize it. i’ve cried reading fics, tho

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello wonderful human being. I need Johnlock fluff. But real HARDCORE fluff with butterfly kisses and caring about each other. Do you have any fics with this many fluff?

Hi Lovely!!

I’m actually in the process of doing a Johnlock Mega Fluff Fic Rec List; it’s the third most recced list after Angst and sick!fics, LOL. Currently, I actually do have some Fluff Fic Lists already posted:

Tooth Rotting Fluff

Funny and Fluffy Stories

The Speckled Blonde / BedSharing

BedSharing Pt. 2 and Insecure Sherlock

So you can start with those! 

Actually, you know what? Perhaps I can give you a preview of some of the fics on that list, plus additions I’ve had since to the Tooth Rotting Fluff section, since it’s gonna be too big anyway to post all the links anyway. Note that I’m no where near done, but here’s hoping you find something you like! Let’s pick a super soft section…

HUGS, CUDDLES and KISSES

Sherlock Doesn’t Like Summer Nights by sherrinholmes (T, 337 w. || Fluff) – “Isn’t it considered normal and wise to remove layers when one finds one’s self overheating?” Sherlock threw the shirt into some dark corner of the room and began working on the drawstring of his pyjama trousers.

Too Much by belovedmuerto (T, 567 w. || Empath John) – Sometimes, it’s too much for John.

This Kiss by suitesamba (T, 731 w. || Humour, Drunkenness, Angst, Stag Night) – Stag Night - back at 221B - in a world where Mrs. Hudson doesn’t interrupt the guessing game with the client. Part 1 of The “This” Series

Cuddling by GraciousK (Ao3, G, 1107 w. || Angst/Cuddling/Hypothermia) - John finds Sherlock and he’s delirious. John saves Sherlock, semi-happy ending.

In Dreams by Youarethelightoftheworld (T, 1,339 w. || Fluff, Cuddling & Snuggling, Accidental Cuddles, Domestic Fluff) – Every once and a while, the dark makes it easier to see.

Battle of Bakerloo by bendingsignpost (G, 1,494 w. || Cuddles, Clingy Sherlock, Fluff, Snuggles) – The change had occurred, John had accepted it, and when Sherlock had asked, “You don’t mind, do you?”, John had answered, “No, of course not.” In hindsight, an obvious mistake.

Apologies by Sherlock Holmes by ad0rably_0rdinary (G, 1,549 w. || Fluff, Worried Sherlock, Cuddles) – Sherlock sends John off with harsh words, and Sally points out that if he keeps it up, John could leave him. Worried Sherlock ensues, and he blunders his way into a cuddly apology.

Tangential by Bitenomnom (NR, 2,047 w. || Fluff, Love, Nightmares, Cuddling, Ace!Sherlock) – …In which John stitches up Sherlock’s head (but not really), Sherlock comes into John’s room at night to take his laptop (but not really), Sherlock is married to his Work (but not really), and John is more than proficient at keeping Sherlock (really, definitely). Part 48 of Mathematical Proof

Assurance by belovedmuerto (T, 2,382 w. || Bed-Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Idiots in Love) – It’s not so much the ‘you’re half-dead, you wanker,’ or even the broken ribs, the hairline fracture of the pelvis, the dislocated shoulder and knee, and the wrenched ankle.

Eight Letters, One Word by beesandjam (G, 2,520 w || Cuddles and Snuggles, Domestic Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles) – Once Sherlock finds some place comfy, there’s no waking him.

it’s in the details by kimbiablue (T, 3,272 w. || Fluff, First Kiss, Pining Idiots) – Sherlock and John meet with a forensic artist to determine how capable they are able to describe each other. In which John struggles to adequately describe Sherlock Holmes, and also thinks about his lips a lot.

Water Is Another Matter by cathedral_carver (T, 3,903 w. || Pining, First Kiss) – He thinks it’s in trouble, his poor heart.

One Day Like This by nondeducible (E, 4,872 w. || First Time, Bed-Sharing, Romance, Fluff, Virgin Sherlock) – When Sherlock emerged from the bathroom, the sight before him nearly took his breath away. The only light in the room was the small lamp on the bedside table. John’s skin shone like gold, his hair like the purest silver. He was on his side, facing the empty part of the bed, his outstretched hands ready to embrace whoever climbed in next to him. Sherlock could imagine, just for a second, that this was their shared bed and he was coming back to settle into John’s arms.

Bed-Sharing Between Flatmates by testosterone_tea (T, 5,053 w. || 5 and Ones, Bed Sharing, PTSD John, Science, Whump, Insecure Sherlock) – 5 times Sherlock had an excuse to share John’s bed, and the one time he didn’t need one.

To Sleep, Perchance to Smother Your Flatmate with a Pillow by Linpatootie (G, 5,308 w. || Bedsharing, Fluff) - Sherlock wants to conduct a sleep study of sorts. John contemplates smothering him with a pillow. Part 1 of Two Coffees One Black One with Sugar Please (this whole series is amazing, and I love it so much).

the lingering taste of orange juice by darcylindbergh (G, 5,824 w. || Pining Sherlock, Fluff, Miscommunications, Humour) – Sherlock felt the familiar heat surge in his abdomen again at the touch: hope strung taut between head and heart as in all the quiet moments between them, when Sherlock sometimes got the clues all mixed up and thought maybe John felt something too. For once, Sherlock is the idiot.

You’re a Doctor, Fix me by edken (G,  8,342 w. || Sickfic, Fluff / Cuddling) – Sherlock doesn’t do anything halfway, and that includes getting sick. John nurses a very sick flatmate back to health using cuddles, forehead kisses, and a massage. Humor and fluff promised this time, but also some character analysis because who doesn’t love that?

A Terrific Soporific by antietamfalls (T, 11,269 w. || Bed Sharing, Sleepy Cuddles, Fluff, Insomnia, Experiments) – Sherlock, a long-time sufferer of insomnia, is forced to share a bed with John at a hotel while on a case. To his astonishment, he finds that spending the night next to John helps him sleep and becomes determined to maneuver himself back into John’s bed.

Solace Series by CKLizzy (T to E, 21,515 w across 5 stories || Cuddling & Snuggling, H/C, Nightmares) – An Experiment - how long can you keep two characters physically and emotionally close without their relationship turning into a sexual one? Sees the development of John and Sherlock’s relationship from their bedroom’s perspective (no, don’t worry, there will NOT be a talking bedroom in the story).

Knotted by naughtyspirit (E, 23,166 w. || UST/URT, Cuddling, Sharing Body Heat, Confessions, Kissing, Mastrubation, Frustration, BAMF!John) – John has to cancel a date because of Sherlock’s case, which leads them to be tied up in a basement from which they have to escape. They get wet, get tied up close and John has to step up and save them. Because he’s pretty. And hot. And just a little bit of a BAMF.

a good old-fashioned happy ending by darcylindbergh (E, 32,731 w. || Christmas, Frottage, Comfort, Est. Rel., Fluff, Insecure Sherlock) – For Christmas this year, Sherlock wants to get John something special: something every fairytale deserves. Part 2 of things fairy tales are made of

A Love with No Name Series by aceofhearts61 (M, 49,955 w. across 20 fics || Ace!Sherlock / Straight!John, Queerplatonic Relationship, Cuddling/Snuggling, Soulmates, Caretaking, Platonic Romance) – In which Asexual!Sherlock and Straight!John are platonically in love life partners.

TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF (Pt. 2)

Conversations With Idiots by scullyseviltwin (T, 1,744 w || Complete Idiots, Love Confessions, Fluff) – A huge gust of breath comes rushing out of John’s lungs as he steels himself, checks his resolve, and then, “I’m… I’m gone on you.”

John Was Nice Like That by hannah_baker (T, 1,307 w. || Est. Rel., Fluff, Body Worship, John’s Bum) – Sherlock Holmes may not ever sleep, but that hasn’t prevented him from having a kip on the couch with John.

here’s to love (here’s to us) by trustingno1 (G, 1,309 w. || Weddings, Fluff, Best Man Speech) – “I suggested that he ask Greg,” John says, “to which he replied, ‘Who?’,” and Greg pushes back from the table, exasperated. “I then made the mistake of suggesting his brother, to which Sherlock enumerated twenty-three reasons that that was a terrible idea.” (John’s best man speech at Sherlock’s wedding).

Through A Glass by Mildredandbobbin (M, 2,012 w. || Voyeurism, Masturbation, First Kiss) – There is an adjoining door in the bathroom at 221B that leads into Sherlock’s bedroom. The door, from the bathroom to Sherlock’s bedroom, is made of three glass, semi-opaque panels. It has suddenly come to Sherlock’s attention that if he stands in exactly the right spot in his bedroom he can see through said panels, and more to the point, can see John.

It Wasn’t Just the Mistletoe by Irrevocably_Sherlocked (E, 3,593 w. || Christmas Fluff, Mistletoe, First Kiss / Time, Frottage, Masturbation) – Sherlock and John just stood there, seemingly frozen. Sherlock was desperately trying to think of a way out of this. There was no way he could kiss John, even a small kiss, and not have him know immediately how he felt. Sherlock could lie, and fake and sham, but there was no way he could hide this.

Everything by patternofdefiance (E, 4,409 w. || Snuggles and Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Frottage, Vulnerable Sherlock) – John wakes up with an armful of Sherlock.This – situation – is unusual, yes, and definitely unfamiliar, but in no way does it feel wrong.Rather, it feels the exact opposite. Part 13 of I Blame Tumblr

Telling the Bees by siennna (G, 5,174 w. || Fluff, Beekeeping, POV Sherlock, Love Confessions) – It took a beat of silence for the words to settle in, before both of them realized what John said. “You—” Sherlock started. “I—” John said at the same time. “Love me? You love me?” Sherlock asked faintly. Part 3 of sienna’s favorites

all things warm and tender by darcylindbergh (E, 5,177 w. || PWP, Romantic Fluff, Rimming/Anal/BJ’s, Body Worship) – Grinning and giggling, John slides back down under the sheet and pulls it over his head. He finds Sherlock waiting for him, eyes bright and hair wild, the firelight bleeding through the thin fabric, colouring everything in soft peach and topaz, and in that moment he is so suddenly, unexpectedly, ethereally beautiful that John forgets how to breathe.

Problematic by MrsNoggin (E, 6,164 w. || First Time / Kiss, Oral Fixation, Obsessed Sherlock) – Sherlock really wants to ask John something. Only, he’s not sure what…

a good old-fashioned happy ending by darcylindbergh (E, 32,731 w. || Christmas, Frottage, Comfort, Est. Rel., Fluff, Insecure Sherlock) – For Christmas this year, Sherlock wants to get John something special: something every fairytale deserves. Part 2 of things fairy tales are made of

[keptin-killy]

So I saw Heathers: High School Edition it was good, but I had one major problem with some of the censoring they did.

I’ll start off with saying that I 100% agree that they show needed to be censored for a high school audience (the movie itself was rated R) but it seemed like they couldn’t commit to how they were going to sensor it. Like they got rid of worlds like slut and skank, but then kept the words bitch and whore. They got rid of any mean words that involved those who were disabled or overweight but kept homo.

The word changes I could disagree with, but they didn’t change the show, the one thing that did change the show (and I’d argue in a dramatic way) was how they decided to change the song Blue.

Now Blue is probably one of my favorite songs in the show, it’s a silly song where the two jocks (Kurt and Ram) are drunk and are complaining to Veronica that she make their balls blue because she’s hot now. Now in the original version of the show both the Heathers are there for the duration of this song and are just not letting Veronica into the car. You’re not scared for Veronica at all because she’s still empowered in this situation (the guys are CLEARLY drunk, she offers them more booze and is able to keep them at bay pretty easily).

They changed the song to be “You’re Welcome.” The main change that is made is both the Heathers drive away leaving Veronica with the two guys who, in this version are VERY MUCH sober. This changes the power dynamic COMPLETELY between Veronica and the jocks. These guys know what they’re doing, the song is scary, you’re actually scared that Veronica is going to get raped and the scene is a lot more graphic (in my opinion) than Blue.The only reason Veronica escapes is because the guys fall in cow manure (which doesn’t make sense at all, but that’s a complaint for another time).

Here was another time the censoring actually made the show worse because instead of the rumor being that Veronica gave both the jocks bjs at the same time, the rumor was that she made out with both of them. Instead of “yeah we totally almost raped Veronica, but you know what’ll really get her is a rumor that she MADE OUT with both of us.” (PICK A DAMN LANE SHOW!!).

Now this song change COMPLETELY changes J.D.’s motivation to kill the jocks. Instead of the rumors being the main reason, it’s actually the fact that these guys fucking attempted to rape his girlfriend. It gives J.D. more reasoning to actually go crazy which I feel like takes away from the show because to the audience it would seem perfectly fine for him to kill the jocks and trick Veronica into helping him. It just feels like an excuse to let him be crazy idk.

tl;dr Replacing Blue with You’re Welcome in Heathers changed the scene from something happy and goofy into a attempted rape scene thereby giving J.D. better motivation for being crazy and murdering people.

[peoplenjobs-blog]

4 Simple Ways to Build Awesome New Work Habits

By INC. 14-June-2019

4 Simple Ways to Build Awesome New Work Habits

Want to build better work habits? Most people do, especially since studies have shown that more than 40 percent of the "decisions" we make every day aren't really decisions--they're habits.

That means we tend to simply do what we've done before, which makes us less productive, less effective, less healthy and fit--less everything--than we could be.

The solution? Build new, positive habits.

Here are four easy ways--backed by research--to build new habits from Belle Beth Cooper, co-founder of Hello Code, which makes Exist, a cool app that connects all your services to turn that data into insights about your life; think quantified self on steroids. (A version of this post originally appeared on the Zapier blog.)

1. Start Small

BJ Fogg is the king of starting small with new habits, and his program Tiny Habits focuses on this approach. The idea is to focus on building the habit itself, rather than worrying about how big the impact is.

Here's a good example: Say you want to start a habit of flossing your teeth every night. To build a successful habit, start with something tiny: flossing just one tooth. I know it sounds crazy, but it works. If you're building the habit of flossing just a single tooth each night, three things will happen:

1.   You'll feel silly about not doing it. Flossing a single tooth is so easy it's hard to feel OK about skipping it.

2.   You'll probably floss more than one tooth. Getting started on anything is the biggest hurdle. Once we've started, it's easy to just keep going.

3.   You'll build the habit. Although flossing just one tooth each night probably won't make your dentist happy, after a few weeks have passed the action will start to become a habit--something you do automatically, without thinking.

Once you've built up the habit then you can incrementally add to it. In our example, you'd start flossing two teeth per night, and then three, and soon you'll be flossing all of your teeth without having to think about it.

Now let's look at some examples of how you could apply this method to building healthy work habits.

Single     task. If     you're struggling to stay focused and beat distractions, focus on building     the habit of working on a single task at a time. Start by doing that for     five minutes at a time. After five minutes, relax and allow distractions.

Later, try another five minutes of pure focus. When five minutes becomes easy, work on doing 10 minutes at a time, and then 15.

Soon you'll find you can spend half an hour on a task without struggling to stay focused.

Drink     more water. What     if you wanted to drink more water during your workday? Start small with     just one extra glass of water. You can even make it a really small glass.     Just drink one extra glass a day for a month.

If you're still struggling after a month, keep practicing (and check the other strategies I've mentioned here for more help). Once you have the habit down you can upgrade to a larger glass and later add a second one.

Get     organized. Trying     to be more organized and stay on top of your calendar? Start with a weekly     reminder to look over your calendar for the coming week.

Each Sunday night when your reminder sounds, take a minute to look the events you have scheduled for the week. When you find that's easy and can do it without thinking, try setting an alarm every night to review the next day's calendar.

2. Stack Habits

One of the most powerful methods for building new habits is to stack them on existing habits.

We all have plenty of existing habits: getting your morning coffee, logging on to your computer, walking to the train station after work, eating a midmorning snack. You do those things without thinking about them. They're habits.

So use those habits as triggers for new habits. Here are some examples.

Increase     exercise. To     exercise more, stack a new habit on your morning coffee. Every time you     get your coffee, take a walk around the block. Or start getting your     morning coffee at a café a little farther from work so you naturally have     a longer walk.

Strengthen     work relationships. To get to know your colleagues better, stack a new habit on     your midmorning snack or bathroom breaks. Every time you get your snack,     stop for five minutes to chat with people in the break room. Or when you     go for a bathroom break, stop and chat with someone on the way back to     your work area.

Read     more. To     read more, stack a new habit on your commute. Grab an audio book to listen     to, or download Umano. Or every day when you have     lunch--which is surely an existing habit--take a book with you.

There are plenty of ways to stack habits together. Start with something you do every day and use that as a trigger to remind you to do your new habit.

Just pick a habit so small and easy that it's not difficult to perform, and attach it to a trigger that happens every day around the same time--that's an awesome way to build new work habits.

3. Make it Obvious

Another of my favorite tricks for building habits is to put the tools you need right in front of you. Having whatever equipment you need easily available removes the barrier of getting started and acts as a reminder.

Drink     less soda. Say     you want to drink less soda and more water while you're at work. Keeping a     water bottle on your desk means you don't have to get up; you can just     reach out and take a sip while you're working. Plus, seeing the water     bottle all day serves as a reminder to keep up your habit.

Exercise     at lunch. If     you want to go for a jog or hit the gym during your lunch break, put your     equipment in easy reach. Set your running shoes or gym bag beside your     desk so you can quickly grab them as you head out the door at lunchtime.

Leave     work on time. When     your habit isn't based on something physical, you can still use this     technique. The trick is to make any barriers to acting on your habit easy     to overcome.

Say you're trying to build a habit of leaving work on time every day. If you make plans with your family or friends after work each night you'll have a good excuse that pulls you away from your desk. Your plans don't have to be complicated; they could be as simple as setting a specific time your family has dinner every night. Take it a step further and make it an appointment in your calendar.

4. Reward Yourself

Now for the fun part: Every time you perform your new habit, celebrate it. Reward yourself for putting in the effort.

Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, is a big proponent of rewarding yourself after completing a habit. Duhigg's approach to habits is based around a simple three-part cycle: the cue or trigger, the habit itself, and then the reward.

After building up enough of these, Duhigg says, "when your brain is exposed to a certain cue, it'll kind of go on autopilot, because it craves the reward it expects to come at the end."

Building up habits over time means focusing on doing something small every day (or very often, if not every day). Celebrating each time you complete a habit reinforces the value of doing that small thing over and over, rather than reaching for a far-off goal.

If you're trying to lose weight, weighing yourself every day can be demotivating if you don't see much progress. Rewarding yourself every time you go to the gym, on the other hand, helps you to build up a lasting habit of regular exercise--regardless of the long-term consequences.

Rewards can come in any form that makes you feel good about sticking with your habit. It might be stopping for a break, having a snack, or simply patting yourself on the back.

A good way to make sure you're staying on track and rewarding yourself for your progress is to use an app like Lift or Balanced to check off your habit each time you perform it.

If you struggle to stay on track or you need a bigger reward to stay motivated, try grabbing an accountability partner. Find a colleague or friend who will keep you accountable and cheer you on when you succeed. (I always tell my co-founder when I go for a run, and his support makes me feel even better about sticking with my habit.)

Most important, just pick one habit to build up at a time. It's really easy to get overwhelmed by trying to make several changes at once. Plus, once you've successfully built one new habit, you have another starting point for stacking on a new habit!

[wrxctasy]

I haven’t been on this for a while but I feel like now would be a good time to express myself.

Last week I lost the love of my fucking life. She didn’t die she just left me. I had so many issues that I was blinded too during this relationship.

Let me back track a little. Me and her met 4 years ago. We talked for a little but the circumstances of us dating were not even a possibility. She ended up dating a guy she went to school with for 2 years.

I forgot about her for a little bit but one day almost 3 years ago I woke up for work and I saw I had a message on Instagram. It was from her. It said “remember me” immediately I responded not even a question. We started talking again.

The only problem of this was I was talking to this other girl for a little bit. This other girl lead me on 2 other times and had a lot of baggage but I was lonely so I gave her most of my attention. My dream girl was trying everything to get my attention and I would give it to her in little doses until one day I was at work and I was complaining about the baggage girl and these guys said “why don’t you give her a shot? She’s giving you all the attention that your giving someone who doesn’t care about you” that hit me. I started giving my dream girl all my attention and from day 1. From the first time I set my eyes on her I knew. I fucking knew she was the one.

Our first date was at a BJ brew house. Not so much a fancy place but a little upscale because I wanted to impress her and you know what she ordered? Mozzarella sticks and a root beer! I laughed and still to this day remember the butterfly’s in my stomach watching her dip them into the marinara sauce. After dinner we drove around and under a full moon I asked her to be my girlfriend. She said yes.

At this time i was doing a lot of shit that affected my health such as drugs and alchohol. I was a lonely man for years and that was the only thing that came me any sort of comfort. Until I met her. Without asking I wanted to stop everything for her. I didn’t want to put her in any harmful situations. The day she stole my heart was 11/22/17. The best day of my fucking life.

I would see her every day at work. I would have lunch with her every day and on the weekends we would have a little get away to do you know, relationship things. One day I asked her if I was her rebound. She told me no she hung out with someone she worked with. I remember walking around the room just furious. Grabbing my head and just a feeling of hurt for no reason. Keep this in mind because it will be one of the downfall of my relationship.

We dated. 6 months in we were certain that we were gonna get married. We talked about it and we got matching tattoos. I have mine on my chest and hers on her side. A big yellow rose. Yellow is her favorite color and I would always surprise her with them. I tried to be the best boyfriend I could because I was so fucking in love with her. I still am.

She moved in with me and my family after around 7 months. I was so scared because I never once thought I’d live with a girlfriend. I thought I was going to annoye her all the time but it was absolutely perfect. I got her into my job, a good factory work job. We were making money. We were living our life. Saving up. Tattoos. Vacations. Plans. Concerts. Ideas.

This is when I got too comfortable. I thought that i could do whatever I wanted and she would never leave. I fucked this up. I kept asking about the dude she rebounded with before me. I would ask and ask and ask. I would get furious and start screaming at her. Crying. Just being immature about it because now I look back I wish I realized that was the past and she was with me now.

I let my insecurities get the best of me. I started getting scared because I would get mad almost twice a week about this dude. I would cause and pick fights with me just thinking about it or hearing his name.

She had friends and I was scared she would leave me for someone who treated her better so when they would invite her out I’d give her an ultimatum. It’s your friends or me. I kept digging myself into this hole. And I knew what I was doing wrong. I just couldn’t stop. It got so bad that i would accuse her of cheating if she had on yoga pants or makeup. Her hair straightened. I was acting so fucking little.

In my head I thought she was the hottest girl out there and every guy would want to be with her. I know that’s not the case but I was worried she’d leave me for someone way better. More tattoos. More ripped. Nicer. Funnier. Less awkward. So I would bash her self confidence so she could feel the same way I did. I’m such a fucking piece of shit. I ruined this amazing girl for no reason other than my faults.

We dated. We had our good times and our good memories but we also had very very bad memories. I started getting even more abusive. I started saying no social media. No texts. We’re staying in. I was controlling her because in my mind I thought she would do it without care because she loved me.

I would message other girls on social media and she caught me every single time. I never cheated on her but I did because I was hiding messages that she found. And because of this she tells me she can’t ever trust me. And I understand why. I thought I could get away with it with this street trash girls when I had the girl of my dreams here. I thought she would never leave me.

We both quit our job. I had another one lined up but I fucked it up because I let my anxiety talk me out of it. I was going to job interviews non stop for 4 months trying to find the perfect job and she supported every decision. Help me practice interviewing, helped me pick out the right outfit. Gave me that pep talk before I left. I got numerous jobs but turned them all down because they weren’t what I wanted. I then applied to barber college because I would talk about it to her and she said “you’ll be a great barber baby do it”.

I got accepted into it and on the first day I drove there but before I walked in I had an anxiety attack. I had tunnel vision. Sweats. I was on the verge of a breakdown but I called her and she said to me “we can try again baby don’t hurt yourself over this” I remember saying “I have to do it” she said “stay for the day and if you don’t like it don’t ever go back” I stayed for the day and I went home to her and she asked me how I liked it. I said “i don’t know if I go tomorrow I go if I don’t i don’t care” every day I would wake up on time and go to school.

I would write her notes every day before I left. And gave her a kiss before I left. She would text me when she wakes up absolutely in love with the note. At this time her grandma got us a night job cleaning office buildings that we could do together because we were a power couple. But this was the downfall of us.

She had no sense of value because of this job. And also because of me. The fights continued. The arguments continued. Me calling her names continued. Some days we would have amazing days other days it’s like we can’t be in the same room. It was the stress of feeling like a loser being in school and the stress of this minimum wage job. I felt like I couldn’t support her and she would look for someone with their shit straight.

She ever deserved anything that I did to her. She would be up all night crying about something I did and I would comfort her to just do it again a month later. She honestly loved me and I took it for granted.

The last 6 months of our relationship I tried to rebuild everything I broke. I tried to buy her love back but that only made her more upset.

We broke up on 3/29/2020. I couldn’t believe we broke up. I thought it was just a fight and we’d be back to normal tomorrow. No. This time it was completely over. I feel like my world got crushed. My love. My soulmate left me because of all the actions I did. I should’ve gave her all the love she deserved. But now it’s too late.

All week I’ve been disgusted with my actions. And I keep replaying every single time I made her cry. I lied to my family about how I treated her but I told all of them. She has always wanted me to go to counseling because I have underlining issues but I would make excuses because I didn’t think it would make me a man. I thought I’d just give up if i did counseling but now if I did it 6 months ago when she first asked we might still be something today.

I made the call 3 days after our breakup. I need help. My mind is unbalanced. My mind is hurt from childhood issues. I’m hurt because I lost the girl who loved me. I lost my love.

She messaged me a few days after our breakup with a little question but following we will never see each other again. We are too toxic.

I messaged her the next day if I could see her to talk. We held hands that day. We laughed. Joked about the breakup. Kissed. I told her I love her and she told me she loves me but we can’t be together.

The next day I ran into her at the gas station and I talked. I told her how I’m feeling which is miserable.

I want to get back with her. I want to show her I can be the guy she fell in love with. My mind has been in a downward spiral for a few years and I’m scared I’m gonna end up like my dad. He passed away at the age of 26 and I’ll be 26 in just a few months. And I’m scared I’ll end up like him with this age.

I love you molly. I’m so fucking sorry.

[sgmwesters]

╰ ❛ 💉 — › michael b jordan. cis male. he/him. . ╯ have you met BENJAMIN MORGAN yet ? this thirty four year old sagittarius has been living in the Seattle area for three days. He makes a living as an otolaryngology (ent) attending, which is best suited for their protective, empathetic, conflicted, and irrational personality. take me to church by hozier is one of their favorite songs, and they’re written by em, 24, gmt, she/her, no triggers

B A S I C   I N F O R M A T I O N

FULL NAME: Benjamin Joseph Morgan.

NICKNAME(S): Ben, BJ in college.

AGE: Thirty Four (34).

DATE OF BIRTH: 26 November 1985, Sagittarius.

HOMETOWN: Manhattan, New York.

CURRENT LOCATION: Seattle, Washington.

ETHNICITY: African-American..

NATIONALITY: American citizen.

GENDER: Cis Male.

PRONOUNS: He/him.

ORIENTATION: ??? Idek why I even include this at this point???

RELIGION: Atheist.

POLITICAL AFFILIATION: Democrat.

OCCUPATION: Otolaryngology (ENT) Attending.

LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: Lives alone.

LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: English, German.

ACCENT: None.

P H Y S I C A L    A P P E A R A N C E

FACE CLAIM: Michael B. Jordan.

HAIR COLOR: Black.

EYE COLOR: Brown.

HEIGHT: 6 ft 1.

WEIGHT: 188lbs.

BUILD: Athletic.

TATTOOS: None.

PIERCINGS: None.

CLOTHING STYLE: Scrubs, smart casual otherwise.

USUAL EXPRESSION: Fairly stern, but he’s a softy deeeeeeep down.

DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS: Dimples.

H E A L T H

PHYSICAL AILMENTS: torn rotator cuff in high school has left his shoulder somewhat fucked.

NEUROLOGICAL CONDITIONS: none.

ALLERGIES: bee and wasp stings.

SLEEPING HABITS: fairly good sleep hygiene, sleeps well provided nothing is bothering him (Maddie).

EATING HABITS: Usually fairly healthy, likes to look after himself.

EXERCISE HABITS: As above, likes to look after himself.

EMOTIONAL STABILITY: Sits happily at a seven, but has been known to dip in times of stress or emotional turmoil. 

SOCIABILITY: Very sociable, likes to be around people.

BODY TEMPERATURE: warm.

ADDICTIONS: none.

DRUG USE: none and is very against its use.

ALCOHOL USE: enjoys a drink, but doesn’t need it.

P E R S O N A L I T Y

POSITIVE TRAITS: protective, empathetic

NEGATIVE TRAITS: conflicted, irrational

FEARS: Not being able to keep Maddie safe and healthy.

F A V O U R I T E S

WEATHER: Is indifferent about the weather.

COLOUR: Navy.

MUSIC: Something with a heavy beat.

MOVIES: The Godfather.

SPORT: Boxing.

BEVERAGE: Fruit smoothie, Bourbon.

FOOD: Hot dogs.

ANIMAL: Anything small, soft, and fluffy.

H E A D C A N O N S

Benjamin was born as the only child to Regina and David Morgan, a museum curator and ceo respectively in manhattan.

Benjamin was raised in close proximity to his cousin Madeleine Spencer, to the extent where Benjamin considers Maddie to be more like a sibling to him than a cousin. This came from both of their parents busy schedules and similar lifestyles which led him to be brought up in this manner.

Benjamin would like to think that his parents were happily married, but it was only as he got older that he realised the family set up that he had grown up with as a child wasn’t the same as everyone else’s. Nevertheless, he figured that it worked for them as it was, and he still considers himself to have had a good childhood.

Spending as much time in the Spencer household as he did, Benjamin sparked a genuine interest in medicine, looking up to his uncle, Madeleine’s father, as a role model and idol for his future career in medicine. 

Benjamin was athletic in school, actively taking part in boxing and baseball. He hoped from early on in high school that he would be able to get into a good school on a baseball scholarship so he wouldn’t need to focus as hard on his studies, but a torn rotator cuff in his sophomore year quickly killed that dream, and he came to the quick conclusion that he had to get his head in the books.

As much as he would hate to admit it, he knew that his parents pulled a few strings when it came to his offers for college, but the decision ultimately came down to him. During this time he had watched Madeleine begin to spiral out of control, the concern for his cousin and arguably best friend only growing with each day that passed.

It was during this time that Benjamin turned down the offer from Harvard that his father had swindled for him, choosing instead to stay closer to the city in order to be nearby while Madeleine got the help she had promised her parents she would get.

He was thankful for this decision as the realisation that she hadn’t been getting help came about following Amelia Shepherd’s overdose. While Madeleine was in rehab, Benjamin made a point of visiting her as much as he could, skipping classes if he needed to to make sure that she felt supported. She was basically his kid sister after all. 

As Madeleine got clean, Benjamin took the MCATs, scoring high enough to be accepted into John’s Hopkins off his own back this time. As Madeleine was seemingly doing well, Benjamin decided to move that little bit further out, knowing he would be close enough if she needed him to return.

It was during this time that the two established their bi-weekly phone calls, no excuses allowed, his way of keeping an eye on her completely.

Benjamin moved that little bit further for his residency to Mayo, just as Madeleine moved to Switzerland for her masters. It made sense, he was happy for her and continued to adjust his schedule to make sure their phone calls went ahead as they needed to, suiting her schedule over his.He would often stay awake until the early hours of the morning just to speak to her.

His residency was fairly smooth sailing, despite a period of switching between services as he was indecisive about what specialty he was going to go into. He had always had his heart set on cardio like his uncle, but it only took one case with the ENT attending to have him hooked. 

As he came to the end of his fellowship, he debated the idea of having a second specialty (he’s a bit of a show off like that), but a nagging feeling inside of him told him something more important was coming. 

His calls with Madeleine weren’t like they used to be, years of regularity and consistency seemed to be falling apart, with nothing that he could do from where he was. He wanted to believe that this was part of the recovery, that she didn’t need him the way she used to, but he couldn’t be certain.

The night of Amelia’s intervention, Benjamin received a frantic phone call from Madeleine and he knew then that things were not good. Whether she was high or just drunk he couldn’t have been certain at first, it was only as she spoke about everybody leaving her the he snapped into action. She’d fallen off the wagon, and he’d be damned if he was going to stand by and let it happen.

Benjamin packed a bag and hopped on the first plane to Seattle, ready to hold an intervention of his own if he needs to. As far as he is concerned he’s here for Maddie and nothing else.