#this is another way in which history has said “fuck you” to henry 8th which obviously i am all in favour of (because fuck him)

[nostalgia-tblr]

thanks to the sort of gossipy history i tend to read i know entirely too much about the grounds on which i could get out of the unhappy medieval european marriage that i am not and never will be part of.

[thesportssoundoff]

“Fuck Yeah, This Show Should Be Awesome....I Hope?” UFC 225 Preview

Joey

June 3rd

It's been hard going recently for some of these UFC events. Not since the Fox card headlined by Gaethje vs Poirier have we had an event that seemed to leave everyone feeling equally satisfied with what we got out of the five hour investment. Brazil had some good moments, some cringe and a truly depressing main event. Chile and Liverpool seemed to be going just fine before the main cards began and things got a little strange, both shows ending with main events that seemed destined to test the patience and willpower of their audience. This week from Utica, we were all THRILLED with what seemed like the worst six fight stretch in UFC history before the card eventually righted itself from "Worst show ever" to just being a bad show. All of this is to set the stage for an event that IF it's anything but great, will be a sign from the MMA Gods that this sport is going apocalyptic. This card is fantastic; a PPV event with two damn good title fights, CM Punk defending two titles of his own, two really intriguing HW fights, some damn good stuff in WMMA and good fights at weight classes below 145 lbs. The only bad fight on paper is a really shuntsy HW fight which of course can be forgiven. It's got a great mix of snazzy names, compelling fights, stories and worthy title challengers fighting for belts. You should be all in on this.

Fights: 13

Debuts: 1 (Megan Anderson)

Fight Changes/Injury Cancellations: (BObby Green OUT, Charles Oliveira IN vs Clay Guida/Allen Crowder OUT, Chris De La Rocha IN vs Rashad Coultier)

Headliners (fighters who have either main evented or co-main evented shows in the UFC): 16 (Holly Holm, Andrei Arlovski, Alistair Overeem, Robert Whittaker, Yoel Romero, Colby Covington, Rafael Dos Anjos, Curtis Blaydes, Claudia Gadelha, Carla Esparza, Ricardo Lamas, Gleison Tibau, Sergio Pettis, Joseph Benavidez, Clay Guida, Charles Oliveira)

Fighters On Losing Streaks in the UFC: 2 (Rashad Evans, Chris De La Rocha)

Fighters On Winning Streaks in the UFC: 8  (Robert Whittaker, Tai Tuavasa, RDA, Colby Covington, Andrei Arlovski, Curtis Blaydes, Carla Esparza, Joseph Benavidez)

Main Card Record Since Jan 1st 2016 (in the UFC): 19-13

Robert Whittaker- 4-0 Yoel Romero- 2-1 RDA- 3-2 Colby Covington- 5-0 Tai Tuavasa- 2-0 Andrei Arlovski- 2-5 Megan Anderson- 0-0 Holly Holm- 1-3 CM Punk- 0-1 Mike Jackson- 0-1

Divisional Breakdown: Heavyweight- 3 Welterweight- 2 Featherweight- 2 Lightweight- 1 Flyweight- 1 Light Heayweight- 1 Middleweight- 1 Women's featherweight- 1 Strawweight- 1

Too High Up- Chris De La Rocha vs Rashad Coultier

Don't be a goof and say CM Punk vs Mike Jackson because that's just smart business. As for this, do I have to explain? De La Rocha and Coultier are a combined 0-4 in the UFC. De La Rocha last fought before Conor McGregor was a UFC champion (twice) and Coultier has been KO'd both times. There's just no reason for this to be on FS1 outside of "they're big" which okay and all but they can be big on Fight Pass too, no?

Too Low- Joseph Benavidez vs Sergio Pettis

It's REALLY close between this fight, Oliveira/Guida and Blaydes/Overeem. Either way let's go with this really good fight at 125 lbs between a guy who has yet to fight the champion (Sergio Pettis) and the guy who has twice fought the champ but probably figures to be remain one of the best fighters in the division. Pettis is coming off a loss to Henry Cejduo while Benavidez rides into this fight on a long winning streak and an almost equally long layoff. This fight should be higher but what are ya gonna do?

Stat Monitor for 2018: Debuting Fighters (Current number: 14-17):  Megan Anderson

Short Notice Fighters (Current number: 15-7): Charles Oliveira, Chris De La Rocha

Second Fight (Current number: 17-16): Mike Jackson, CM Punk, Dan Ige

Cage Corrosion (Current number: 10-17): CM Punk, Mike Jackson, Joe Benavidez

Undefeated Fighters (Current number: 20-13):

Keeping An Eye On But Not Really:

The UFC Win Check Test The records of fighters who have 4 or more UFC fights (or three full calendar years in the organization) but 0 wins against people still in the UFC: Rashad Evans

Twelve Precarious Ponderings

1- Does the first fight between Yoel Romero and Robert Whittaker even matter? Their first fight was a short notice booking (May 27th for July 8th) and so even if you grant that they had a month to prep, it was a short notice booking for two guys in their first ever title fights PLUS both Romero and Whittaker had only had one five round fight prior to this. Then the day of the event, they were randomly bumped up to the main event which is always added pressure. Making matters worse, Whittaker blew out his knee at the beginning of the first round and Romero admittedly said he was waiting for the right moment to kick Whittaker right in his fucked up leg.  There's been so many fluky circumstances that I'm not sure the first fight should hold any weight beyond an acknowledgment that it happened.

2- Given everything that went wrong for Whittaker since the title fight (bad knee injury, flesh eating virus that nearly went after his organs), what condition is he going to be in?

3- A lot has been said about Overeem-Blaydes being on the prelims and Holm-Anderson being on the main card. I don't think it's wrong to suggest Holly Holm is the biggest star on the main card outside of CM Punk nor is that a bad thing. Holm is somebody people want to see fight even if her fights can be really boring with the wrong kind of opponent. Her vs Megan Anderson at the very least is an important fight at 145 lbs which should give it the nod over Blaydes-Overeem since that fight really is JUST another fight at heavyweight. The key is to accept that this division is only going to grow if it's treated like a big deal and putting it on the main card helps it come off as a big deal. I can accept that the main card is weaker now without Overeem vs Blaydes which is the price we pay for trying to make sure the women's featherweight class gets a fighting shot.

4- There are two kinds of MMA fans; the ones who are dreading the idea of Colby Covington as a UFC champ and the ones who are openly anticipating it. I happily fall on the former but if you're on the latter? Well you're absolutely welcome to keep on readin'

5- What makes RDA vs Covington so interesting is that for all the BS about Covington's personality warts; his style has given RDA fits in the past while RDA is the best opponent Covington has faced ever. Guys like Gleison Tibau, Clay Guida, Khabib, Tony Ferguson etc etc have given him problems in the past with their relentless pressure and wrestling chops. If you're versatile (and I bet there's more to Covington's hands than what we've seen so far) with the ability to take RDA down then you'll more often than not have a shot. As for Colby Covington? His best win is an aging Demian Maia in a fight where he ate far too many hooks in the beginning of the fight and looked like a guy who had made a conscious decision to try and prove he could strike. After the first round, he settled down and went back to being a guy who was powerful on top, smothered with pressure and cooked dudes with cardio. There's so many things RDA can do that Maia can't do and at a level by which Covington has never seen from an opponent before. RDA at 170 lbs has been pretty damn perfect thus far and everything that worked at 155 lbs has carried upwards. Don't allow Covington's gimmick to convince you this fight isn't pretty damn great on paper.

6- Who is taking the bigger step up; Tai Tuavasa or Megan Anderson?

7- Let's focus on Tai Tuivasa currently. He's 2-0 in the UFC and his opponents combined records are 2-5 in the UFC (and Asker has ZERO wins vs people still in the organization). He hasn't been out of the first round, has shown some truly ugly aspects to his game which suggests this bandwagon is going to crash really hard at some point. At the same time, there's something crudely enjoyable about Tai Tuivasa's game. Maybe it's the Hunt-esque attitude he has or the fact he has some truly violent tools against the cage or just the fact that HW is in the midst of a bit of a renaissance (seriously!) and he's a pretty enjoyable part of that. He's getting his Arlovski test really early compared to other HW contemporaries. By the time guys like Ngannou and Tybura were tempted with the Arlovski chin, they had fought good quality HWs like Luiz Henrique (both guys) and Curtis Blaydes (Ngannou). This is a big step up for an entertaining young HW with some upside. PRoceed with caution, amigos.

8- Is Arlovski on his 4th career renaissance?

9- On a card loaded with proven established dudes, let's talk about Mirsad Bektic.  A forgotten face at 145 lbs, Mirsad's biggest weakness has been inactivity. He's suffered multiple knee injuries on his way up the FW rankings and then came back JUST in time to get beat by Darren Elkins in a very Elkins-y performance. In that fight Bektic abandoned any sort of success with his strikes to try and grapple with Elkins, a bad idea that gassed him out and ultimately led to him getting finished. He took another long break (of course) and re-emerged in Jan of this year to ice Godofredo Pepey. 145 lbs is the sort of division where even the bottom of the barrel is really good and where guys like Ortega, Holloway and Edgar are blasting through names one after another after.  Bektic is one of the rare guys who hasn't fought those three and he's really talented. On the other hand, Ricardo Lamas is probably the measuring stick for how good a dude can be at 145 lbs. A loss here doesn't ruin Bektic because Lamas is really good BUT a really impressive performance might start the clock on a Bektic title shot. Assuming he can avoid getting hurt again.

10-  We buying this Clay Guida career renaissance? Two straight wins since going back up to 155 lbs, both in dominant definitive fashion. Charles Oliveira is an interesting sort of test for him especially on short notice.

11- Don't act like CM Punk vs Mike Jackson doesn't have a perverse appeal to you. It's better to be honest about all of this than to try and lie. Nobody likes lying to yaself!

12- It's really weird to think the Gadelha vs Esparza winner could find their way into the title picture with one more win.

Five Can't Miss Fights

1- Robert Whittaker vs Yoel Romero

2- Curtis Blaydes vs Alistair Overeem

3-  Ricardo Lamas vs Mirsad Bektic

4- Tai Tuivasa vs Andrei Arlovski

5- Colby Covington vs Rafael Dos Anjos

[impvlved]

❛ Is THAT what you call tact ?  You're as subtle as a  B R I C K  in the small of my back so lets end this call, and this conversation. And is that what you call a   G E T A W A Y  ?  Well, tell me what you got away with. ‘Cause you left the frays from the ties you severed and when you say BEST FRIENDS means  FRIENDS FOREVER .  ❜                                                                                    — Seventy Times 7, 1757 (2013)

yo yo yo, it’s linc comin’ at you with another muse because I am trash and cannot contain myself. This is my pop punk (don’t call his music pop punk to his face tho) baby Phoenix Henry! I have yet to write up his official bio but you can find his about page with some essential facts HERE and I’ll list a summary below!

Nix plays Jeremiah “Shooter” Schuman on Suburbia, so he’s been in acting for about three years now and he adores it. God. Anything involving creating and emotion? Sign him the FUCK. UP.

Once upon a time, two hella rich, hella famous Hollywood film producers had a child named Phoenix, and they just let him chill. He went to school in Burbank, California and a lot of the kids in his classes had parents in a similar position of fame, so there was never anything abnormal about his life. He’d go to class, return home to his mansion, and overall experience childhood just like anyone else -- except with added glitz, glam, and luxury. He discovered from an early age that he adored music. 

His parents had gotten him his first guitar and piano when he was four, in an effort to get Nix out of their hair, without realizing that their little ploy would lead to something so much greater. Nix began jamming out with his friends after school when he was ten, and slowly but surely the group of boys evolved to find their sound -- they competed in their first Burbank Battle of the Bands in 8th grade and won over three high school bands, which was a HUGE deal! The pressure was on then -- the group of boys chose their first name, The Switch, and began playing at middle school and high school dances, even landing a gig for the high school senior prom! Nix and his pals did this under their parents’ noses for a while, until they all turned 15 and they’d become “local celebrities” among Burbank’s youth.

Once Nix’s parents caught wind of the band, they ate it up. Mrs. Henry’s response to her son’s talents wasn’t to congratulate him, but rather tell him to work harder, push more -- she placed a call into her friends at Columbia Records and the boys landed a recording deal with one caveat: their name had to go.

Nix came up with their new band name the night before a world history test, when the group of boys’ attempts at a study group capsized. Playful banter and small food fights began (a deviled egg here, a mini hot dog there), but Nix found himself buried in a book of poetry his grandmother had given him for his 15th birthday. The poet? William Blake, one of his all-time favorites. After reading a particularly intriguing piece, Nix looked up, precisely when a small tea sandwich hit him square in the forehead. “1757,” he mused, closing the book. The other boys were silenced and immediately agreed. It wasn’t until later that they realized the name was a result of Nix’s love for poetry -- and the birth date of a one William Blake. In interviews with the band, the boys would tease Nix because of it, but his response would lack no confidence. “If you don’t roll with my boy Billy Blake,” he’d state, eyebrows lifted in defiance, “Then you can’t roll with me.”

So their first record was released in late 2011! And it just   e x p l o d e d   . Within 24 hours they had three songs in the U.S. Top 10 and 6 in the Global Top 50. In 2012, they toured for the very first time, and it only solidified their position at the top of the new punk movement. Suddenly, Nix’s parents took an interest in his life and wanted everything to do with him. They became the band’s managers and pushed the boys to their absolute extremes. Over the next few years, they’d release four singles and three albums -- and any time they weren’t in the studio, they were touring, headlining their own shows and appearing at festivals like Boston Calling, Warped Tour, etc. In 2014, 1757 was one of the Coachella headliners. 

Being the frontman of the band, Nix received the majority of fan enthusiasm -- of both the amazing and... creepy variety. Girls plastered his face all over their walls, fans recognized him even when he tried to go incognito. The fame invaded every single aspect of his life. And, unlike other big stars, the boy found it difficult to face it. In interviews, Nix let his bandmates do the majority of the talking. When he was asked about things, he’d offer nuanced, intelligent answers, but other than that he let his bandmates speak. This gave him the reputation of the “broody, sexy one.” Which, alright, could be kind of true, but he didn’t appreciate how everything about him was idealized and perpetuated as some sort of unrealistic romanticization of his character.

Nix became overwhelmed. His fans didn’t notice unless they really squinted but he began to look exasperated in interviews and backstage access videos. “Is it just me or is he getting hotter?!” was featured in a lot of YouTube comments on their music videos, but only Nix’s bandmates knew the truth -- the lifestyle was eating away at his resolve. And his parents pioneering their every move? It got tiring. They started imposing their opinions on Nix’s songwriting, discouraging experimentation, discouraging change. 

And then Zenith posted an audition for a new TV show, Suburbia. Nix slinked off to the auditions on a day they were supposed to be recording, and got the call about the role the morning after 1757 debuted one of their new singles on Saturday Night Live. Filming for season one aligned with their recording schedule, so he took on the role after consulting his parents, claiming it would be just a one-season gig. He’d record while filming, and finish just before the band’s summer tour would kick off.

After the first season aired, it became apparent that Suburbia was a hit and his character wasn’t going away. Nix fought to balance his two gigs and managed for a bit, until Zenith reached out and asked if he’d be willing to put in more time for Jeremiah’s role. Music had become a chore. The touring process started to toll him. Shortly after returning from a short Northeastern tour in 2015, Nix’s grandmother passed away -- and that was the last straw, the last thing that he needed to know it was time to quit.

The band understood; they’d all grown tired of how vigorously they’d been working. Some had dreams of going to university, others just simply wanted to live a normal life. So, while Suburbia filmed its second season, they worked on producing their fifth and final album. As the second season aired, 1757 kicked off their final world tour. They broke news of their hiatus in January 2017, and their final tour was extended for three months to accommodate for higher ticket demands. They parted ways victorious, and their fanbase still remains hopeful that a 1757 reunion may be underway in the future.

Nix is well aware he can’t outrun the fame he’s garnered from the band -- he’ll always be Nix Henry, 1757′s dreamboy, but now he feels that he can start anew. While venturing further into his acting career, Nix has begun recording a solo album to be released in late 2017 -- but this project has been kept top secret from most people in order to keep his parents from meddling with the project. Nix still runs his YouTube channel he started for the band, but its focus has become more geared to Q&A’s, vlogs, and snippets of original songs he’s written.

He loves words. (So it’s no surprise that he’s got quite the knack for them.) Often, when he’s not working, Nix can be found with his nose buried in poetry collections and the classics. He’s a prolific writer, often writing poetry double the rate at which he pens lyrics, which is perhaps why 1757 went down in the books as one of the most musically and lyrically nuanced bands of this generation.

You can absolutely expect me to pull songs from All Time Low, Blink-182, Brand New, The All-American Rejects, Sum 41, Green Day, Fall Out Boy, New Found Glory, Good Charlotte, The Wonder Years, Taking Back Sunday, Panic! at the Disco, Yellowcard, etc. and say they’re works of 1757. I like the idea of having tangible songs of theirs, and I’m legit pop-punk trash, so. Yes yes yes. If you ever have any recommendations/thoughts on songs that should be in their repertoire, hit me up! I’m always looking!

Nix is a gentle soul. He’s quite the flirt, but he’s quiet -- if he doesn’t see a reason to say something, he won’t. Music is his outlet and that’s where his emotions and thoughts are channeled. If he’s got an issue, he’s more likely to write a song about it than address it directly. See Seventy Times 7 (lyrics above the cut), a song he wrote about a girl who backstabbed him by cheating on him with one of his bandmates. Another example would be Soco Amaretto Lime (also stolen from Brand New), a song about refusing to grow up. See the lines: I’m gonna stay eighteen forever, so we can stay like this forever. And we’ll never miss a party ‘cause we keep them going constantly. And we’ll never have to listen to anyone about anything. ‘Cause it’s all been done and it’s all been said. We’re the coolest kids and we take what we can get. It’s one of their slower songs, more wistful, a bit melancholic. At the time, he was dating another musician he met at a festival, and his parents didn’t approve, hence the repeated lines of: You’re just jealous ‘cause we’re young and in love; you’re just jealous. 

Another example (I promise this is the last Brand New rant I go on, I just love them) is The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot, written pretty shortly after a breakup and -- more notably in his life -- his grandmother’s death. They were close, so his feelings about the situation kind of bled into the song’s original purpose. It was also a disguised letter to his parents following some conversations about toning down the band’s commitments -- It’s cold as a tomb, and it’s dark in your room when I sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds. So call it quits or get a grip. You say you wanted a solution, you just wanted to be missed. Call me a safe bet, I’m betting I’m not. Glad that you can forgive, only hoping as time goes, you can forget. He knows he’s a disappointment, he knows he’s letting them down, but this song was written on the cusp of his realization that he really couldn’t do it any longer.

Expect some song posts with lyrics and headcanons or self-paras of his writing process because I’m invested. Wooooooooo.

He’s got tattoos! A lot! And he wants more! Because the world is his canvas, honestly.

Talk to him about words. Tell him your favorite word. He will legitimately be so in love.

Heterosexuality? What’s that? The media’s convinced Nix is some type of ladykiller but he’s just... nope. It makes him laugh.

He has this inherent intensity in his gaze and expression. Like, he could be thinking about rainbows and puppies but fans will be like ‘omfg he’s obviously thinking about the implications of human existence right now’. But like..... also not a lie? He’s quite existential. His lyrics have been known to induce lots of crises, while simultaneously helping people out so it’s like... a huge paradox.

His lyrics are   A B S O L U T E L Y  the ones superimposed onto wilderness photographs on tumblr and reblogged as RP musings. Like, yes. Mhm.

There’s a live acoustic version of the band’s song, You’re So Last Summer (@ Taking Back Sunday, wooo) that brought his fanbase to tears? So yes. That’s kind of the direction his solo album is going in. Words still severe, abrasively true, but... The sound’s less loud and more subtle. Raw.

If I keep going I’m gonna like, put you all to sleep. So! That’s Nix in a nutshell! I want any and all the plots so please feel free to hit me up!! xoxo thanks for reading this long ass post