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#this is just so frustrating I was doing so well today I was so tired and taking so much care and for what. to have a 1am breakdown
swanimagines · 3 days
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Hola can i request a Morpheus x f!Reader fic where her son is running over all the palace because he doesn’t want to take a bath?
Sorry English is not my first language
A/N: Ahem ahem, excuse me... this may be the first time in a very long time I'm actually genuinely HAPPY with something I wrote?? If there's a writing deity or a saint, I will pray to them and hope for this kind of skill and motivation and inspiration and whatever hell I need to produce THIS kind of content in the future too, thanks bye!
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"Aridus!" your voice echoed through the grand corridors as you chased after your son, who had decided today was not the day for a bath. He turned around slightly, his face scrunched up in anger.
“I don’t want to take a bath!” he declared for the hundredth time, before taking a turn to yet another maze of hallways. You let out a frustrated groan, even though you tried to keep it in.
“I know, sweetie, but after all that playing with Goldie, you’re all muddy, I can’t let you go to bed like that!” You stopped, as you took the turn to where he went. “Aridus, please just—”
“No! I don’t want to sleep either!” His voice echoed through the hallway, it was impossible to know which nook he took as a hiding place. “Daddy never sleeps either!”
It was true, the everlasting bickering with him. Why is daddy able to go around day and night, why can’t he stay up to play all night as well. But the thing was, Aridus was your offspring too, and you were originally from the Waking world — and you needed sleep, so Aridus needed sleep too. Your husband had told you that Aridus may need less sleep than a “regular” human as he grows up, but as a toddler he was just like regular children were. Getting tantrums out of being tired, while the tantrum is about not wanting to go to sleep. “I know sweetie, but he’s–”
“No!” he screamed, and you heard the patter of feet going further again.
You barely heard Morpheus coming to stand beside you, but you felt his presence and turned to look at him. “I can’t catch him. He’s persistent and knows how to tire me out.”
Morpheus's lips had a small hint of a smile. “He is much like you, then.”
You scoffed and crossed your arms. “Me? Are you sure? You’re the one who’s refusing to listen to any other opinions of change when you’ve already decided the ‘best’ way. I think he’s more like you than me.”
Morpheus smiled properly now, inclining his head forward. “True.”
A loud crash interrupted the sound of running, and you heard something rolling through the floor, followed by a soft thud and a whimper from Aridus. You walked forward with Morpheus following close behind, and discovered the source. Aridus had collided with one of the pedestals, which had sent a stack of dream scrolls all over the room. You moved to stand in front of him and brought your hands to your hips, sighing.
Suddenly your son, who had been so angry just a moment earlier, looked more remorseful as ever. “I… I didn’t mean to.”
Before you could answer, you felt Morpheus’s hand on your shoulder. “Allow me, my love.”
Aridus sat there frozen in place, looking at his father kneeling in front of him. Morpheus reached out, carefully tucking a curl of hair behind Aridus’s ear. “Do you know why we need to take baths, Aridus?”
Aridus’s shoulders slumped. “I know, father. Mother doesn’t want my bed to get dirty. But I don’t like to get wet.”
Morpheus shook his head. “It is not only because we get dirty. Every day, all living beings get dream dust on them. If there’s too much of it, it weighs us down. It affects our mood and eventually… it may make us fall asleep and never again wake up. Be stuck in nightmares forever, and not even I would be able to help.”
Aridus stared at his father, his mouth opening slightly before he whispered, “Stuck?”
Morpheus nodded. “Yes. Even the stars must cleanse themselves of the night sometimes.”
For a moment, Aridus stared at the floor, clearly trying to contemplate his options. But eventually, he looked up again and nodded. “Okay.”
You smiled slightly, ushering him towards the bathroom before you looked back at your husband, who was left cleaning the mess up.
Later, when you watched your son sleeping in his little bed from the doorway, you felt a slight gust of air as Morpheus appeared to your side again. You smiled at him and whispered, “You’re good at making up stories. I think he’ll be much more willing to take baths in the future.”
He shook his head, his eyes fixed on your son. “I merely spoke the truth.”
You frowned. “Really?”
He turned towards you slightly. “Yes. Well, maybe I dramatised it a little, but much of it was true. Even stars need to be born anew sometimes. They too resist, hang on, but ultimately they yield and give way to new stars. Just like our son did.”
You nodded and let yourself lean against him slightly. "I’ll admit, I was starting to lose hope there for a moment. I didn’t think anything could convince him to take a bath, let alone willingly. He certainly takes after both of us. I thought I'd never tire him out, but you…” you murmured and looked at him. “You have a way with him. Maybe I should let you handle all the tantrums from now on."
Morpheus pushed you away slightly, tracing his fingers against your bare arm. "I would handle them all, if you so wished," he whispered. "But I believe Aridus needs you as much as he needs me. You are his anchor to both worlds. Without you, he might wander too far in the night."
You smiled a little at that. Morpheus certainly knew his way through words, it was in his nature, in how he was created, sure, but you felt like he had learned a thing or two from love since he fell in love with you all those centuries ago.
You sighed, looking at your sleeping son. “He seems to like wandering. He has told me so many times he wants to be just like you, and I don’t know how to tell him that it isn’t possible.”
Morpheus was quiet for a moment, running his hand up and down your arm. “He must learn to walk in both worlds because when the time comes… Waking world may call out to him. In any case, balance is essential. And he must learn to control and thrive, whatever his place will end up being.”
You swallowed, remembering that once your son grows up, he may only be able to visit you at night. You’d watch him grow old year by year, and only get him back once he dies. Which will take centuries, if not even millennials with his Endless blood. And even then, he may choose the Land of the Dead if he has loved ones there. But Morpheus made it sound… like it was natural. Which it of course was, you reminded yourself. “You make it sound so simple. That it will be simple to accept it.”
"Simple, no. But necessary, yes." His hand stilled on your arm.. "And you, my love, have always excelled at guiding him in ways I cannot."
You were quiet for a moment again. “I just don’t want him to grow up so fast.”
He was quiet for a moment too, taking in a deep breath. “I wish he did not grow so fast either. But moments like these, they will linger. Forever, if necessary. We need not fear losing him.”
You nodded, finally closing the door and following Morpheus towards the throne room. “I guess I should just remember he’s going to be a half-deity like you. And that hopefully he’s going to make the world a better place.”
Morpheus turned to look at you, taking your hands in his. “He will have both of us with him when he enters the Waking world, and be more than us. He will be a dream, but also a heartbeat. And that, my love, is his gift.”
You swallowed, but then closed your eyes and dropped your face towards the floor. “I know. As long as he has both of us in him, he’ll be alright.”
Morpheus cupped your cheek, tilting your head to look at him again. “He will thrive. He will flourish in ways we cannot yet even imagine.”
You nodded, glancing back towards Aridus’s room and then you turned back to Morpheus. “I love you.”
His smile appeared again, an expression only reserved for you before he kissed your forehead. “And I, you. Always.”
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Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad Activity Report
Part 3
5/16 (Sat) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba
Uh, this is Takeba.
Actually, Tartarus is closed today, and Kirijo-senpai told me, "School take priority over SEES activities!", but it's tough to stay holed up in my room all day, so I snuck out. That being said, I don't really have anything to report.
Oh, I'm lying, there was one thing. Well, Sanada-senpai is a little scary. Haha. Apparently the doctor told him yesterday that he'll be okay to start boxing in about a week, and he's really happy about that.
Of course, since it's before the exams, he seems to be studying properly in his room, but when I went out to the stairwell, I saw him running up the stairs at a great pace. I was surprised and talked to him, and he said that he had been taking a break and couldn't stay still. Do you even know what a break means? But I'm glad he's doing well. Yes.
Well, I don't want to relax too much, so I'll get back to studying. This is Takeba.
5/17 (Sun) - Reporter: Junpei Iori
Well... Good evening, I'm Junpei Iori. I don't really have anything to report, but Kirijo-senpai told me to hold the microphone. I guess she told me to calm down and complain or whatever because my cries from the heart are getting in the way of the wonderful training... but somehow, haven't I lost sight of my original purpose for this activity report?
…Oh, that's right, there's something to report.
No, I don't want to sit at my desk any more this afternoon.
I don't want that to happen! I'm stuck with that feeling.
Wait, I went to Paulownian Mall to change my mood.
Then, I felt some strange tension.
A self-proclaimed "reporter" told me about some strange things happening recently.
She asked me if I had information.
When she said something like "I'll be rewarded if you give me any information," I was tempted for a moment, but then I thought, aren't we just heroes of justice who work in secret? Of course, I said "I don't know," and rejected her. Then the reporter just said, "Oh, okay," and walked away... It's a bit complicated...
5/18 (Mon) - Reporter: Akihiko Sanada
Well, the exam finally starts today. There's no point in rushing now. I'll just do my best.
However... I know this may be unnecessary, and it may not be the right topic to talk about at a time like this, but I am really concerned about the injury that happened to our physical education teacher, Mr. Aoyama. From what I heard, he had been drinking after work and was on his way home in a good mood when, an accident was caused by a falling sign, but the accident happened just as the day changed... around the Dark Hour.
Well, shadows wouldn't have to resort to such a roundabout means to drop a sign and injure someone. It's probably just paranoia born from the frustration of not being able to return. Forget it.
5/25 (Mon) - Reporter: Mitsuru Kirijo
It's Kirijo. The results of the midterm exams were announced today. Akihiko was amazing! Excellent!
He had a hard time returning to the fight, and he seemed to be quite anxious before the exams, so I was worried he might lose his concentration, but he did a great job.
I told him that, but he turned his back on me, saying that he had to do it because it would set an example for his juniors. He's really not honest...
I'm a bit worried about the others. The leader seems to have been doing his best, but Takeba seems to have been staying in her room every day.
It seems she ended up with average results, and Junpei was... unbelievable.
As expected, they must be tired from going to Tartarus and defeating large shadows one after another. Although they look energetic, we need their help, but we can't let our activities affect their studies... We should be a little careful.
5/26 (Tue) - Reporter: Akihiko Sanada
Seriously... if you're going to make that much of a fuss then you should have just studied properly from the beginning.
Ah, sorry. Just when I came out of my room, I heard some voices coming from Junpei's room saying things like "Pathetic" and "What am I doing?", just pathetic and wondering what he was doing. Well, I guess it's understandable with those terrible test results.
Mitsuru was also quite upset about the grades of her juniors, but this was something that couldn't be helped unless everyone put in an effort. After hearing that shout, Junpei would probably think things through properly next time. Probably.
Plus, we happen to be living in the same dorm.
If push comes to shove, no matter how much he doesn't want to do it, I'll just force my way into his room and make him do some pre-exam practice.
Intensive training...that's a good word. I'm looking forward to the final exams.
By the way, we are still investigating Yamagishi. Let's hope she will become a valuable addition to our team.
5/27 (Wed) - Reporter: Junpei Iori
O-ki-na-wa!
…Oh, no, they were talking about Okinawa's beach opening on the evening news, so I just did it.
I was talking about that, so I just did it.
So, it's Junpei! The sea is really nice. My exams are over, and I want to have some fun, but I don't have any money or time... Ugh, I'm not going to be able to go to the sea for the rest of my life.
I feel like I say this every summer...ugh.
But the sea is nice. Blue sky! Black bikini! White sand! Red bikini! I want to go and play. Oh, by the way, what happened to the new girl? Does she like the sea?
5/28 (Thu) - Reporter: Mitsuru Kirijo
It's Kirijo. As always, Iori's report seems... stupid.
Well, from the beginning, I started these reports as just a memo for myself, and I don't have any strict reporting obligations. I'm just going to blurt out what I want to say, and if that makes me feel better, then that's fine.
It's good to use even if you're in the middle of nowhere.
Oh, speaking of Iori, I overheard him talking to Takeba in the lounge today, and it seemed like he was worried about his poor grades. It's easy to tell them to study, but I'll think about what I can do to help them more.
However... I noticed while Iori spoke that Magician's Arcana should have high magical power, so why does Iori's Hermes have such low magical power... Maybe next time, I'll get permission from him and study the correlation between abilities and Persona parameters? It's hard to find samples like that...
5/29 (Fri) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba
Uh, this is Takeba.
The exams are finally over, and there's some good news that we might even be hiring a new female member, so I should be in a good mood, but I'm in a bit of a bad mood today.
I overheard an unpleasant conversation in the school corridor...it was bullying.
I don't know who they were, but the two girls who seemed to be the bullies were talking about how they'd found out someone's weakness and how funny her crying face was, and stuff like that... and they were laughing out loud. Well, it wasn't an unusual story, so I just thought, "They must be bored," but... I ended up feeling annoyed afterwards.
Right now I have the power to call a Persona, right? Regardless of the type of power, the power is there to accomplish something, right? But even seeing that bullying scene and not being able to do anything...it's pathetic.
Sorry for complaining again. This was Takeba!
5/30 (Sat) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba
Well, it's Takeba for the second day in a row.
I was wondering what to do, but Kirijo-senpai asked me to keep a record of the matter, so I will continue on.
I don't know if it's related to the bullying issue I reported yesterday, but I found one of the girls I'd heard talking yesterday infront of the school gates this morning.
Yesterday, she was saying things like she was hearing voices and things that sounded like radio waves, so I thought something was a little strange...
However, I don't know the details. I hope it was a coincidence. This was Takeba.
6/8 (Mon) - Reporter: Junpei Iori
I'm seriously dead today... Oh, crap, report, report. Huh...? No, you see, when you get lost in the Dark Hour, your memories are somehow erased, that's common knowledge for Persona Users, right?
Well, it's a bit late now though.
Ugh, sorry. I'm so tired and just want to go to sleep.
Umm, can I just post them all together?
A girl named Fuuka Yamagishi was locked in the gym because of bullying, and ended up wandering into Tartarus. The reason she was safe after being lost for a week was because, while time here stops during the Dark Hour, time there also stops outside of the Dark Hour... or so I think.
When examining the clock on the bike/backup equipment that Kirijo-senpai brought to Tartarus, it seems that you can tell the difference in the movement of time inside and outside... or so it seems. Hmm, it's complicated and I don't really get it.
So, we sneaked into the school in the middle of the night, took the same route as Yamagishi and entered Tartarus, and a large Shadow appeared, but we defeated it with our efforts, um... was there anything else? Ah, that's right. Yamagishi's Persona was amazing. It seemed to have a radar-like function, and can see all the enemy's weaknesses!
Oh, by the way, Kirijo-senpai has an unexpected lack of humor. If I said she was cute, I'd probably get punched. Well, I thought she was hard to get along with, so I've changed my opinion of her a little. Oh, I forgot something important! The large Shadows appear on the full moon! A customer who comes once a month! This is important information!
6/9 (Tue) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba
Well, it's Takeba. Today, Kirijo-senpai and Sanada-senpai are away visiting Yamagishi-san and their friend Moriyama-san. So, Tartarus is on a break. I'm still tired from fighting a large Shadow, so I'm not in the mood for Tartarus anyway. Oh, did I mention I was watching over Yamagishi-san? But it's not like I'm being selfish or anything.
On the contrary, she was extremely effective in the battle against the large Shadow, and it feels like she might be the strongest. Now she's collapsed from exhaustion because she used all her powers at once, so she's been hospitalized just to be safe.
If I had that kind of power, I guess I would join in... but this time she learned that SEES' missions are life-threatening. It would be great if she would join, but I don't want to force her. Ah, but the leader was quite welcoming and pulled her in...
Ugh, I'm thinking about a lot of things. Anyway, I'm really glad that Yamagishi-san is safe and that we were able to defeat the Shadow. This was Takeba.
6/10 (Wed) - Reporter: Mitsuru Kirijo
It's Kirijo. Seriously, if I had taken my eyes off Iori for just a second, he'd have been a complete flop... What a poke. I admit that I do lack common sense in some areas, but... Oh well.
Well, today after I returned from visiting Yamagishi and Moriyama, I did some light sword training.
With Yamagishi joining the team, I will likely be on the front lines as well, so this is training for that.
The fencing club was on a break due to the midterm exams, and I didn't go to club activities as often as I thought because of my Student Council activities. It seems my skills have deteriorated more than I thought. I'm trying to be a little better so as not to be a burden to the hard-working second-year students.
I need to train hard.
Not only the leader and Yamagishi have shown remarkable abilities, but Iori and Takeba also have something special, even though they are still developing. As one of the original members of SEES... I can't lose. Maybe I should follow Akihiko's example and try that "special training" thing once in a while?
6/11 (Thu) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba
Ah, it's Takeba.
Good news... Yamagishi-san has been accepted into SEES. Kirijo-senpai's invitation seemed a bit pushy, and I was a bit worried she wouldn't accept, but she seemed keen...
For now, Junpei is simply happy. He's a really enviable guy. This was Takeba.
6/12 (Fri) - Reporter: Junpei Iori
Hi, Junpei here! Today is truly a joyous and memorable day! Ahem... congratulations to our newest member, Miss Fuuka Yamagishi, on moving into the Iwatodai dormitory! Hip, hip, hooray! Yay! Cheers to our new friend, Fuuka!
Gulp gulp gulp... Phew! Oh, it's not alcohol. It's just Yotsuya sake.
Well, today Fuuka moved into the dorm, and I'm always excited to meet new people. Hehehe, it's good to have more members.
Yukari-chan seems a bit indecisive, but since they're both women, they'll quickly become friends. I heard that she was scheduled to move into the dormitory tomorrow, but it seems like she couldn't wait. Yeah, that's not bad!
Ah, speaking of Fuuka... It seems like her homeroom teacher, Ekoda, has been punished for this incident, but I guess this was the work of the seniors... Well, even us students were getting annoyed with his nasty remarks, so it was like, "Serves him right!" When I asked Senpai the truth, she grinned and said, "Do you want to know, Iori?" No, that smile was probably many times scarier than when Senpai was angry. Ugh, so scary! I have to make sure I don't say anything unnecessary.
6/24 (Wed) - Reporter: Junpei Iori
Hi, it's Junpei.
Hehe... Ukukuku... well, Kirijo-senpai's report yesterday was about how worried she was about us and it made me really happy, but... there was one thing that really hit the spot.
Umm, the part at the top that says "Takeba, Yamagishi, and Iori should talk to each other"...oh, the leader has been forgotten.
Hey! Ahahahaha!
Oh man, sorry sorry, that was a bit too funny. Well, as Sanada-san said today, I get the impression that he doesn't worry too much and just gets on with things calmly, right? Sanada-san said he doesn't envy him, but honestly, I do.
No, you see, I'm at an age where I have a lot of worries, right? Bad grades at school, worries about not being able to get a girlfriend, I'm on the verge of going bald from all the worries... but I should point out that I'm not actually bald, I just have street fashion.
...
Now, back to serious matters... I appreciate your concern, Kirijo-senpai. Thank you. But at least I am okay. That doesn't mean I don't have any worries... I have to figure them out and solve them myself.
More importantly, are you okay, Sanada-senpai?
Today you seemed worried in front of the boxing club room. You've been working hard ever since you came back, so maybe you're tired?
I may not be able to be of much help to you, but if there's anything I can help you with, please let me know.
6/26 (Fri) - Reporter: Fuuka Yamagishi
Good evening, this is Yamagishi.
I feel like I've gotten used to these activity reports. But when I listen to the records from the past, I think they feel more like a communication notebook than an activity report. Hehe.
But I think it's good. This way, we can communicate our feelings and understand each other.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if that were the case?
Until recently, I was always thinking about how my words were not being understood by the people around me. But it's not like that here. Everyone, is considerate of each other. Even today, the Chairman of the board of directors came all the way out of his way to come... Well, there is a limit to what you can say, though. Phew...
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rainrot4me · 2 days
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This is my very very very first fanfic. It’s toby x afab reader. I’m so so sorry if it’s shite.
Despite having a key to your apartment, Toby still likes to enter your room through the window. He greets you by brushing the hair out of your face and giving your forehead a kiss. His fingers are rough, but comforting. You’re still half asleep, but able to register that your love has returned. You can tell that it was a tiring and hard mission today, so you immediately get up and get the shower turned on for him and pick out some clean pajamas. He’s just sitting on the edge of the bed, staring into nothing, so you lead him to your comforting and warm shower, “Come on,” following in after him. You wash the blood off of his face and hands. “Why is he putting so much work on you? You deserve rest.” “It’s fine. It really is.” Frustrated, you put a fancy hair mask in for him, exfoliate and wash his face, being extra careful of his lip and cheek. You can tell that he is feeling better already, just being taken care of by you. Trailing your fingers down, you stroke his length and feel his breath hitch, “What are you doing?” Lowering yourself to your knees, you take him in and bob up and down his growing cock. His hands come up to the sides of your head, gently keeping them there, but you can tell that he wants to be rough, press your hands on top of his, signaling him that you want to go his pace. He leans his head back, exhaling his pleasure that he receives from your warm, wet mouth “Y/n…” Done with your mouth, he brings you to your feet and turns you around so he can enter your tight pussy. He really, really tries to be gentle, but you just feel so good and he can’t help wanting more. You try to grip something, anything, but you’re just met with the hard shower walls. Your climax melts into his grunts, echoing off each other. His cock twitches, and he makes a mess in you. The hair mask is washed off and you pamper him even more. Putting hair oil in, moisturizing his face and lips, making sure he is well taken care of. “Thank you for taking care of me. I feel like a pretty princess”
This is so gloriously absolutely amazing I cannot get enough. I reused your idea because I couldn’t GET ENOUGH OF ITTTTTT
(If you’re not okay with that plzzzz let me know)
BUT BROOOO this was so fire
You can find my version here!
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cerise-on-top · 6 months
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Hey love bug! Guess who's backkkkk😍can you do farah and Kate laswell comforting reader with a headache bc I have one right now probably because I eat a shit ton of sugar and haven't drank water since the last ice age
Hey there! Please drink some water! I know you sent that request in a few days ago, but I hope you're feeling better now!
Farah and Laswell with a Reader with a Headache
Farah: She’d get fussy over you and demand you drink some water immediately. Won’t say too much while handing you a big glass of water, though. You better drink half of it in one go and gradually drink the rest of it sooner rather than later. She makes sure that you will drink the water and refills the glass as well, doesn’t matter how much you complain. She can be stern when she needs to be and this is one of those times. She doesn’t immediately grab some headache meds, though, opting for literally everything else first. Drink some water, go to bed at a reasonable time, take a long nap, just rest up, that sort of stuff. Only when the headache doesn’t seem to be going away will she resort to giving you some meds. Or when it worsens, whichever comes first. However, if it’s just a headache because you haven’t slept well in a while, then she’ll usher you to sleep while she does most of the housework. Will be quiet while she does so, however. She’s a very competent sniper, she knows how to be quiet while doing something.
Laswell: Like Farah, she would not be very pleased with you not drinking much, or any, water. Will give you the nearest bottle of water she can grab, even one with a flavor you like to give you more of an incentive to drink it. Will also make sure that you actually drink it, she’ll stand beside you and watch you down the water bottle, leave and emerge with a new one in hand. Will also use meds as a last resort sort of thing and tries everything else before that. It’s not that she’s against using medication, but using too much of it can lessen its effectiveness, so she’d prefer you take a nap or go to bed to make it go away. If the headache won’t go away or gets worse then, like Farah, she’ll grab the meds and give you some. Will also usher you to bed if you’re not feeling well, she’ll leave you alone for the time being. Cooks dinner for you and her and only calls you when it’s time to eat. Afterwards it’s time for you to go to bed again and sleep the headache off. Laswell can handle herself and the housework in the meantime, but she will be a little more stern with you if you decide to wake up for no good reason. You will be sleeping it off, whether you like it or not.
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skunkes · 1 year
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experiencing a weird thing where im trying to go to sleep earlier (because im tired and sleepy) but i take so long to fall asleep its the exact same thing as just going to bed late...feel so hopeless and i always end up tired either way... im very big on "i can always try again tomorrow" mentality in any way it can be interpreted (interactions with others, mood, the amount of work i do etc) but its so hard to Try Again when you're always too tired to do anything...
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opens-up-4-nobody · 5 months
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#ugh. im so tried. why is crying so exhausting? i havent done anything. this is bullshit#we went from a slow motion breakdown to full on freakout meltdown today#luckily no one was around in the lab this morning bc i couldnt stop crying#so i went to the counseling center and made myself their problem#canceled my committee meeting. which everyone tells me is fine. its all fine#think about going home for a while they say. maybe tell ur dad ur having a bad time thry say#but im so tired. and i dont kno what to do and its all falling apart#i just feel like im brushing up against the limits of what i can do intellectually and its like well where do i go from here?#what do i do with my old data? how do i move my project forward? whats the point of any of this?#why did i put myself in this position? would taking a leave even help? id still have to come back to the same mess#its just so frustrating bc theres no solution ill find satisfying. everything just sucks.#idk what my advisor even told my committee. bc we were supposed to meet tomorrow morning. ugh. it would have been so bad#it also sucks bc im so drained that i can just feel my own weight when im trying to talk to ppl#like u kno when ur being a wet blanket but u dont kno how to fix it. like srry my vibes r wretched. maybe im just stuck like this#i dunno. my dad invited us home for a week in july and also plans to come out to visit me in August. but that seems like a long time away#i dunno what im gonna do. what a disaster#unrelated
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kira-light0 · 9 months
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Happy Trapper Tuesday everybody!!!
(Reference + closeups under the cut)
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bunnihearted · 7 months
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piplupod · 7 months
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why do counsellors think it's helpful to tell you "you shouldn't feel that way!" when you tell them something like "I am so stressed about spiders to the point where i have crying breakdowns thrice a week" or "I feel like I am somehow secretly a terrible person that needs to push everyone away to keep them safe from the rot that is inside of me"
like ... golly gee, thank you so much, that's soooo helpful, can't believe i never thought "wow! i shouldn't be feeling this way!" before, pretty crazy that you can just cure me with that one declaration!
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amtrak12 · 4 months
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#Okay so in S5 Chloe and Lucifer really fumble the beginning of their relationship#and then decide the best course of action is to 'stop overthinking it and just be together'#Which could be fine except in practice it meant utterly ignoring all of their problems and pretending they didn't exist#And I thought this was extremely obvious about this plot point???#That it was a terrible idea and not what you're supposed to do in relationships?#Sure personally I cackle over this episode but that's only so I don't scream my frustration at the characters#Well today a Twitter fan uploaded that little 'stop overthinking' clip and was like 🥺 'look how sweet they are. I love them'#and I'm just like ???????????? reaction gif in real life#Bestie all those genuinely sweet Deckerstar clips out there#and you're choosing to squee over the clip demonstrating how they're both idiots (derogatory)?#WHY????#Because they kiss in the scene?????#NEWS FLASH! Not all kisses are shipper kisses! (though they can always be edited to be in fanvids)#'oh they're so shy and adorable' NO!#That's not shyness! That's 'we're shoving away every other feeling we have because we're both tired of being miserable'#Which tbf to Chloe and Lucifer is a whole mood. I get it#But -- AS THEY BLATANTLY AND EXPLICITLY LEARN BY THE END OF THE VERY SAME EPISODE -- misery doesn't like to be shoved away#If you don't address the root cause it WILL come back#Just --- *SCREAMS*#The media comprehension of some people really bugs the shit out of me sometimes. IDEK#😐
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mechawolfie · 9 months
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i dont like when all the fears of the day ball into one big Ball Of Sad at night. not fun.
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As a this is me trying girlie,
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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months
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#love that my body decided to incapacitate me the weekend before i have to read 5 different papers for classes#and it would b one thing to just read them but no for 3 of them i have to give detailed interpretation and 1 i have to present on#ive already failed to read one bc i forgot we had to do 2 papers for monday. oops. not that i could have done it anyway. i barely got 1 done#and im on track to fucking up the one due Tomorrow as well#im just fucking tired of reading fucking chemistry driven papers that i dont understand no matter how many times i read them#and everyones like oh itll get easier but no it fucking wont bc i cant fucking read right#its so fucking frustrating. why do i even bother? im so tried#i don't even have the paper im supposed to present on so ill have to do it all tomorrow. cool. great. not that i could do it today anyway#im just. this is gonna b a difficult week#and i misused my whole day by doing extractions bc i scheduled my training a week ago when i thought i would b fine over the weekend#nope. its fucking bullshit. this is y im like. y do i even want to b in academia?#how could i b a prof if i cant read well? its fine to b dyslexic as a math person but im like i have to read so much and so little gets thru#but then what the fuck else am i supposed to do? idk. im just gonna write down something for all these questions and go tf to sleep#ill get up at some horrible time in the morning to finish this. damn the consequences. ill see my therapist tomorrow anyway#and meet with my advisor like ��� yo guess what i made zero progress this week#sorry u got stuck with me while im going thru a year of fucking health problems#but whatever cant get rid of me now im already here. here and tired and i wanna go to bed#unrelated
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gatual · 2 years
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since yesterday ive been having awful migraines so i have energy to do absolutely nothing and everything makes it worse and the only thing I can do is sleep but.hey😏🥴🫠
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petitgalaxy · 1 year
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#i ran out of tags on the last post AJSJSJS#SO i cant close my eye or use my mouth as well as i normally can and my eye hurts like a bitch#dr gave me 1) a second round of antibiotics 2) swimmer’s ear meds which my parents had to pay for out of pocket (like $90!!!)#3) steroids for the paralysis 4) yeast infection meds bc last time i got one#5) artificial tears to keep my eye nice n lubed up since it can’t CLOSE#so now i’m all full of meds that are making my stomach hurt a fuck ton and fucking with my appetite and making me hot and flushed and angry#i can’t see super well and i cant hear out of the one ear literally at all so stuff like retail job and lab work with classmates are hard#i’m exhausted and sick and have no motivation for schoolwork which I already was struggling w as a result of autistic burnout and PDA#i also do think that this is a hilarious set of unfortunate circumstances and yesterday i was very giggly abt it but today i’m just pissed#i can’t sleep well under the best of circumstances and tonight i rly cant#i tried to go to bed early bc i’m so tired and i need to force myself to go to classes tomorrow since i’ve been skipping a lot of them#my profs know abt the issues btw but :))) academia is hell if you’re at all sick or disabled or having mental health problems or whatever#no room for flexibility or adaptation in my experience#anyway i just wanted to vent for a while!!!#i am not in danger or anything and i’m not a threat to myself or others or anything scary#just frustrated and sick#the paralysis should go away within weeks to months 🙃#for some people it never goes away 🙃#so fingers crossed#but i am thankful to have meds readily accessible even tho they’re expensive and stupid#that’s all!! time to put my sleep mask back on and try to pass out#i tried taping my eye shut per doc recommendation but it wouldn’t stick#💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼
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avibero · 1 year
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