Thinking about Edward Elric as the Amestrian Military's specialest little unfireable boy
State alchemists can be fired for underperforming. We know this up front from the likes of Shou Tucker. And this makes a ton of sense from the homunculi's standpoint since the state alchemists are sacrifice candidates, and the homunculi would want to cull the weakest candidates and focus only on cultivating the strongest ones who stand the best chance of opening the portal.
........Then there's Edward. Who's already opened the portal.
There's no need to cultivate him. No gamble taken on whether he's good enough to open the portal. He passed the final test already. Graduated 4 semesters early.
And as such, has a free pass to do Absolute Fuck All.
And I'm imagining how funny this is from like an outside perspective.
Some newish state alchemist who'd only ever read up on the stories of Edward Elric, ready and excited to start their career of being paid handsomely with endless freedom to research and travel and do anything they want in the pursuit of science... surprised and confused to find themselves put on probation their first month for things like "ignoring orders." Which is, as best they had thought, a famous Edward Elric pastime.
Roy showing a slight bit of stress about his yearly state alchemist report, and Ed just snorting and rolling his eyes at Roy because every year HE just hastily does his on the train ride over (canon in the manga, a travesty it was left out of the anime) and it gets rubber stamped. Ed not realizing that other alchemists' reports get genuinely scrutinized and torn apart while Ed is free to turn in whatever absolute bullshit he thinks of 36 hours ahead of time. One year his report was about whether alchemy could be done via dance (conclusion: no it can't) and no one cared. Roy WANTS to tell Ed there's some kind of unknown favoritism around Ed making him literally bullet-proof but Roy has no way to phrase this that doesn't sound like he's just in denial and mad at how good Ed's train-reports are.
Guy from the Internal Amestrian Affairs sector who's responsible for auditing other internal military personel for any suspicious activity hitting about 1 million red flags for Edward Elric, issuing a STRONG and URGENT recommendation to suspend the alchemist pending further investigation into things like "literal bunk-buddies with two members of the Xingese royalty (enemy nation)" and "spent $10,000,000 of his stipend on a librarian to make her re-copy (what he seemed to interpret as?) military records in some extremely transparent effort to unearth state secrets (it was a recipe book but he was literally asking her about state secrets)" and "literally has never once obeyed an order, ever, not even once in his career, and is on public record having said 'I do not care about the goals and protections of the Amestrian Military. I am in fact only pursuing my own interests several of which are diametrically opposed to the safety and well-being of the governing body of Amestris'"
The issued recommendation is intercepted before it even reaches its intended desk. President Bradley himself has taken issue with it and denies it before a single set of eyes has seen it. The President's veto stamp is a terrifying hammer, used rarely, and it is now sitting on the auditor's desk.
The auditor sleeps with one eye open from then on out.
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The reason this fandom hates IDW Optimus isn't because he's a cop (plenty of people are fine with Prowl) or because he's a bastard (most characters in IDW are) but because he commits the crime of being an actual person who's messy, flawed, and makes a shitload of high stakes mistakes fitting for the intense situations and pressure he's put under constantly.
But we can't have Optimus actually react to his situations by lashing out or being unpleasant, no, he has to have the personality of a cardboard cutout of G1 whose only defining personality traits are "dad, funny, nice," and if he ever vents negative emotions it can only ever be #relatable depression or him being sad on his own without ever letting it show during the important parts of the story. If Optimus dares do things like be angry or frustrated or bitter it's just a sign that he's a bastard and LITERALLY the worst Optimus ever. If Optimus ever makes mistakes or does wrong things in the heat of anger/frustration/stress it's because he's just an evil bastard with no redeeming traits.
God forbid Optimus go through an unending gauntlet of war, politics, atrocities, near-complete loneliness, and a seemingly endless cycle of violence for his entire life and come out of it kind of bitter, angry, and tired of dealing with people's shit. He's not allowed to be a realistic person, context doesn't matter, sympathy doesnt matter. IDW Optimus doesn't fulfill the fandom's fantasies of Father Figure or Perfect Cultural Icon or Twinky Fucktoy and since that's the only reason most people care about Optimus in general, the fandom collectively trashes on IDW OP.
All because he can't fit into the overly simplified and childlike double standard the fandom has where if any other character is messy and flawed, that's good writing and interesting and compelling, but if OPTIMUS is messy and flawed, he's Literally The Worst and he's an asshole for no other reason than He Sucks, context be damned
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On the topic of Flight Rising (as a fellow FR enjoyer) I'm curious what flight(s) you've been in? If you dont want to share thats fair but it's interesting to hear peoples reasonings. I joined in the early days of sign up windows, didn't have internet and got put in Lightning by a friend who made the account for me. It has been years and years, don't even know that friend anymore and am still a die hard Spark.
I was actually a Light flight to begin with! Which is another thing that must be an Absolute Shocker, I'm sure. Girlboything who likes writing was in the flight well known for being full of weird writers.
My move was to the Wind flight because minty green is my favorite color. I do love the aesthetic of the wind, the kites, and the traveling, but I'm actually saving up gems to go to Earth next. I think I vibe the most with its lore, even though its scenery is a little uggo. I love how many cities are there, I love the idea of the crypts and the hidden treasures, preserving and documenting history.
I kinda wish you got a free flight change every like... 5 years. That's more than long enough to be fair I think. I've been playing since 2016 which is actually 8 years so... idk give me free flight change. let me out. im literally from the travel guys let me travel
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baby birds chapter 1 part 3
(pt. 1, pt. 2)
plain text under cut
Is it possible to be pregnant without ever having sex? My browser history was getting more concerning by the tab.
Can you lactate before giving birth?
I was trying to be smart. Tried to experiment. I cut some pictures out of old Nat Geo and Reader’s Digest magazines and stuck them to my journal with the… the discharge. They stuck. I don’t know what I was expecting.
Glue chemical analysis?
How can you tell if something is really glue? Sight, smell, taste, touch. Test. Stickiness.
What the fuck is happening to me?
It’s time to face it: this is freakish. And that thought very easily, from an angle, could be I Am A Freak. Am I a freak? Nipple discharge can be sticky. It usually isn’t fucking PVA
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Alright wise guy, what are your thoughts on the theme(s) of the first Mistborn book. This is literally an excuse for you to ramble about it, have fun.
VOID I LOVE YOU SM
So spoilers for Mistborn: The Final Empire! If you haven't read it, please beware because under the cut, Here There Be Spoilers
(and also beware, Very Long post under the cut!)
The big running theme in The Final Empire is trust. Who can one really trust? Is it worth it to put your life in the hands of other people? What says they won't betray you as soon as it becomes favorable to do so?
Honestly this really is what Vin's character arc in the first book is about. At the beginning of the book, she's trapped in a low-level street gang where everyone is always out to get everyone else. Heck, the second time the audience ever sees her use her powers is when she is helping her boss betray a business partner.
Vin's brother has beaten into her the idea that she can trust nobody, not even him. Everyone is always out to hurt her or take advantage of her, and if she does not prove her immediate worth to her group, then at best she will be kicked out.
This, of course, is not helped by the fact that she is part of the literal slave class! Which is a whole nother essay tbh.
Then Kelsier takes her in and everything changes. There's a scene early on in the book, after vin formally joins the crew, where Kelsier and his men are all laughing and enjoying themselves while plotting their Big Plan™. And Vin, who does not trust any of them, is on the outside, quite literally. She's outside the room, watching them plan, wishing she could be included but not allowing herself to, because at this point in the book she still thinks they could betray her at any time.
I think now is a really good time to mention that being a Mistborn is built on secrecy and paranoia. Mistborn are literally the nobility's assassins. They hide their identities under hoods that blend into the mist so as not to be seen. So their powers cannot be used against them or their Noble Houses. In broad daylight they have to pretend to be normal people, or at best, regular Mistings. They can't trust anyone with the truth that they are Mistborn.
(Heck, even a quarter of their powerset- Copper and Bronze- create mistrust. With Bronze, after all, one can hear the allomantic pulses of burning another metal. Copper, on the other hand, blocks that; the use cases for these two metals lies in paranoia that someone else can use their Allomantic powers against you.)
Anyways! So we've explored some of the different aspects of mistrust in Mistborn, so what's the counterargument?
In a word: Kelsier.
Kelsier shakes up everything that Vin believes about how relationships work. He introduces his crew as something different- despite being a thieving crew, they operate under a principle of trust and camaraderie. "My crews rely on trust," Kelsier says at one point. In direct contrast to the dirty, paranoid crews Vin worked with before, Kelsier's crew is welcoming, understanding, and trusting of her.
But Kelsier's trust isn't just talk, either. When we learn that the crew believes Mare betrayed them in their last heist, Vin asks Kelsier how he could love Mare even though she betrayed him. Kelsier answers that given the choice between loving Mare and being betrayed or never knowing her, he would choose loving her. "I'd rather trust my men than worry about what will happen if they turn on me."
In the same passage as above, Kelsier poses a question to Vin: where has she been happier? with the old crews that we built on lies and suspicious, or with Kelsier's crew, who trusted each other and let their guards down? It's a rhetorical question, and the meaning is clear: Vin and Kelsier both are happier for risking themselves in order to be loved.
I don't think I've nearly done this topic justice. There are a million more points I could pull out and point to, but I want to end with my favorite quote from The Final Empire. It's from Vin, in Chapter 32. She says:
“Once I may have thought you a fool, but… well, that’s kind of what trust is, isn’t it? A willful self-delusion? You have to shut out that voice that whispers about betrayal, and just hope that your friends aren’t going to hurt you... Distrust is really the same thing, only on the other side. I can see how a person, given the choice of two assumptions, would choose to trust.”
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fun fact that bc of one of their claws being Obnoxiously Fucking Huge, male fiddler crabs literally can't eat with it. Which means they spend like twice as much time eating as females, since females can shovel food into their mouth with both claws but males can only do it with one
This relates to the concept of "honest/costly signaling" in ecology, which contains the idea that traits that attract mates can be an accurate display of an individual's fitness/capability due to said trait actually having disadvantages (ex. long attractive tails in some birds making moving more difficult, large claws making it harder to eat, being brightly colored making you more visible to predators, etc). The idea being that if certain attractive traits are actually disadvantageous, then an organism thriving and being overall healthy despite said traits is evidence that said organism is Good At Surviving, and therefore a good potential mate.
So while bigger claws do have the benefit of giving a male fiddler crab an edge in fights with other males, which play a big role in female mate choice, a male being healthy while having his bigass claw in the first place also serves as indirect proof that he's good at successfully obtaining enough food to survive
but like. look at this dude. he can't eat with that thing. he's got one functional food shovel bc the women think him having a one-purpose bigass muscle arm is Good Baby Material. and they're not even technically wrong
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every art critic, teacher or tutorial maker who tells you that your character designs must be conventionally attractive or appealing is a big fat liar
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