#this is literally where TML came from

[lostmykeysie]

hello i’ve just finished reading horcrux hunt and !!!!!!!! in ch 23 when remus is thinking about the full moon of december 1981????? and he thinks about pete????? the fuckin!! line!! about how one night a month he may feel something like forgiveness for him!??? utterly devastating i will be thinking about it from now till forever and ever amen

hi sweetie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

those couple paragraphs are literally so important to me i am !!!!! that you said this literally !!!!!!!!! smooch me

i just am obsessed with making the point that someone can do something horrible and terrible and you can hate them passionately and completely, but you can still miss them at the same time... i hope it comes across because it's just such a depressing concept to me and i love it lol. like peter ruined everything for remus he betrayed him and was responsible for the deaths of his friends and he's still ruining things, even though he's been found out and cut off and whatever, because he's ruining remus's grief by the fact that no matter how much hatred he feels for pete, he still misses him!!!! horrible horrible

anyway. that's actually where the title of the sequel came from!!!! and without giving any spoilers, the last chapter of the missing link is going to have a... idk what the right word to use is, but like, a response to that paragraph/thought/concept, if that makes sense?

either way love you forever for giving me the opportunity for a mini rant!!!!!

(the paragraphs in question are below the cut!)

Remus will never forget the full moon that fell in December of 1981; not for the rest of his life, and likely not even after his death. It’s not often that you realise the moment you’re in the middle of living will be the memory you draw your Patronus from, and perhaps even more astounding than that is the idea that something so pure and good and light could come from the part of Remus that has always been the darkest. He has long since made peace with the idea that the Wolf’s mind bled into his own, and has always known that the Marauders meant more to him than just friends – that they were pack – but it wasn’t until that night that Remus truly understood the meaning of the word. He felt connected to James and Sirius on a level so deep he felt it at his very core; the feeling of an indescribable sense of belonging, of love and trust and awareness, a bond that had once only truly belonged to the Wolf now belonging to them both. 

But there was someone missing. He hadn’t realised it at the time – two minds occupying the body of the Wolf, harmonious in their happiness – but when Remus thinks back to that night and the bond that he had felt solidify and settle in his chest, he can feel the soft, wistful absence of a missing link. He hates the idea that Peter’s betrayal reaches far enough to throw a shadow over the brightest moon he’s ever seen, but the worst part of it all is that when Remus recalls the memory of the hollow space that Peter left, his melancholy tastes of longing, of yearning, and not of anger. Forgiveness is not something he feels for the rat, and yet one night a month, it seems like he may.

[b-ap]

[181117] B.A.P Forever Tour in Philadelphia - Highlight of my Life

This was really one of the best concerts I’ve ever gone to. Despite being skeptical of JSJ from the beginning, I was still willing to risk it and buy the tickets. I was debating for a while to drop $400 or not for m&g but when you think about it, it was only $30 per photo with each of the boys (+ a hat, hoodie, and whistle) so that’s HELLA worth it.  So I dropped nearly $600 for this concert but for real it was SO worth it. I was even willing to go down by bus all by myself and possibly wandering the streets of philly late at night for it but luckily was able to catch a ride! 

These two BABYz gave out numbers from the very beginning like they marked down if you were plat or baby package and in the end JSJ and fans actually honored them! It was really great cuz we were able to leave the line to go to the bathroom or get food! BABYz around me were so nice and friendly too ;u; When it was time to go in to soundcheck and for the concert, we all actually got in order! It was REALLY nice like wow thank you philly babyz!! We were let in a little late for soundcheck cuz apparently bap was doing some kind of interview?? As for soundcheck, it was sooOOOoooOOO good!!! They kinda mixed up plat and baby but oh well whatever I still got like 3rd row so *^* WOOHOO! The stage was up really high and the venue was quite small, but philly crowd’s passion was explosive and powerful!! At the beginning of soundcheck Zelo kept like peeking out from the backstage door *^* they were ODing the fog machine so you could only see silhouettes at the door sometimes OTL. Daehyun was the first to come out! He came in this big puffer jacket and had earphones and and was smiling so cutely!! That wonderful wonderful kitty smile!! OH MY HEART PLEASE HAVE MERCY!! And then the others came out! <3 Zelo was wearing like PJ pants lmao the same one he wore in that IG pic of him in the truck, jongup was wearing leather (i think.....), himchan wore the tour hoodie, and youngjae wore a long coat. BUT YEAH the first song they did was TMJ and the crowd was hella LIT!!! Like everyone was singing their lungs out and jumping and being really really excited! We all started jamming out hardcore at the very first note of TMJ and I just knew it was about to be epic. BAP was sooo happy!! They really enjoyed it as well!  And then they did DWIF and omfg daehyun was soooo cute cuz we were so loud during the OH!! part that he was like :O!!!!! and gave us two thumbs up!! The others were really happy too!! And then Zelo was controlling the crowd with his hands LOL like he was making us go side to side like a wave and then jongup was doing this weird dance too lmaooo we hyped up each other so much! It was soo much fun ;A; too bad we couldn’t record but JSJ got a ( video )~!! Like just listen to BABYz singing along at the beginning!! ( dh shocked at 0:41, thumbs up at 0:51)

We had to go back outside again after the concert and that’s when the line got a little messy since now there was also GA peeps and the sidewalk is only so big to fit like 3 different lines. But it worked out in the end and we got in order!! AND YA GIRL GOT FCKN 2ND ROW HEEEEEEEEELLLL YEAHH!! I had a GREAT view!! There was actually quite a lot of space and like NO pushing!! (except this one bishhhh but whatever that’s another story -.- i’ll delete her from my memory) But wow pit was fCKN great like wow the fanchants!! The whistles!! NO PUSHING!! LIKE WHAT WOOOW I LOVE YOU (this was an all standing venue btw). When we were waiting for the concert to start, they played a bunch of their songs and everyone was scream-singing the lyrics (well more like trying to LOL we can’t korean) We had our own bap concert with an empty stage lmaooo 

AND AHHHH BAP WAS SOOOO GOOD AT FANSERVICE!!! Himchan noticed me like several times i fucking cRy!! He looked and waved at mee TWICE and like gestured to focus on zelo for recording and taking pics when it was his part AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Like last year he saw me struggling in pit (cuz that was HELL) and looked worried I CRY and he smiled at me too huuuhuuu himchan youre a fckn angel I LOVE YOU!!! I made a half heart at daehyun and hE FCKN COMPLETED IT I WAS ABOUT TO FCKN DIE RIGHT THEN AND THERE LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!! JOngup threw so many hearts and kisses at the crowd and youngjae blew so many kisses!! They were waving as much as possible to fans and daehyun, bless his heart, kept saying thank you!!thank you!! at any chance he could get!

During Q&A, bap spent the longest time arguing about harry potter houses pmsl and then yj was just like idk i never watched it (shame on you bro) and then himchan was like EXPECTRO PATRONUM!! (nerrRRRddddd). Jongup said he was fckn Dobby like bruH thats not even a house!!! YJ was like forget this!! and said, “PASS!!” Himchan said that he was Slytherin and then jongup said that Himchan would be fkcn Snape and did this dramatic coat sweeping straightening up his back thing LOL so himchan said Jongup would be a muggle pmsl Zelo did like a broom riding imitation??? irdk.... Next question was what was your favorite song that you’ve ever made. Jongup answered Photo and sang a little of it (so then where is the studio version biiSHHHhh) but lol BABYz were like SEXY CLAP!!!!!! Youngjae pulled out a question, looked at it and was like NOPE! and put it back pmsl! The next question was what tricks can Mochii do and then youngjae was frckn like body slamming zelo and jongup lmaooo. Zelo was sooooo cute he was telling the story of how Mochii bit in all in English!! He said how he was eating and was struggling to explain that Mochii was under the table so BABYz were helping him! He said that he dropped cheese and then Mochii went to eat it but Zelo tried to stop him. Mochii bit and and then Zelo was like “ooh! bloood! my dog is ...wildlife” but the way he said blood was soo cute like the oo in moon instead of “blud”  This sweet precious boy!! His English was so good!!!! The next question was to sing happy birthday to a BABY named Jenny (wow you LUCKY girl im sooo jelly omfg). So Zelo sings her hbd really dramatically lmao and they give her their sweaty towel and Zelo gave her a water bottle too!! They’re so sweet!!!!!!! 

During their other talk segment, Youngjae was like since our tour in america, philly has been the most passionate! So we all SCREAMED and cheered like crazy! Daehyun was like hold up!! AGAIN! and went to grab a phone. He made us all scream and cheer again so he could record it. The boys kept gesturing to scream louder and more and were totally enjoying the cheers! I hope we conveyed our love for them well enough!! Also Daehyun release that footage soon pls!!! He told us we did a good job screaming lmaoo! Youngjae kept making sounds for us to repeat lmao like ooOOoooo (idk how to describe it LOL) and then was like “maestro!” when trying to silence us with his fingers like a conductor LOL but we kept screaming things LOL someone was like “this is my first kpop concert!!” so youngjae was like “sounds good!” and gave a thumbs up. Jongup also did the conductor thing hahahah Daehyun promised to come back again next year and I REALLY REALLY hope that they do!!!! 

The solos were beyond amazing. Like rewatching youngjae and daehyun’s solos made me tear up like how do such beautiful voices exist in this world? Did I really hear those ethereal voices in real life? It was sooo mesmerizing and breathtaking! Youngjae’s gorgeous baritone voice singing that smooth ballad huuuhuuu my heEArt!!! Daehyun’s heartwrenchingly beautiful voice, song, and lyrics wow let me just lie down and drown in my tears rn bYE! DaeUp’s duet was so cool, Jongup’s TML was perfect as usual, Zelo’s solo was sinful oh my those hip and that peach *blushes* it was suuuper fun and Zelo enjoyed it a LOT too!!! He lifted up his shirt!! 

THEN IT WAS M&G TIME!!! They set up the background right in front of the stage. We lined up to go in and bap was standing like: jongup, youngjae, daehyun, himchan, zelo! It was plat individual photos first, then baby group + hi-touch, then plat group + hi-touch. BABYz really went for it!! Like a lot of us got hugs! We were able to watch the whole m&g but they didnt let us have our phones out ;A; (and I also had used up all 6.5 GB of space on my phone OTL) BAP were SOOOOOOOO sweet UGH we stan literal ANGELS!! They love BABYz so fricken much!! JSJ was sooo nice to allow a lot of fan interactions AHHHHHHHH BAP did a lot of cute poses and played around with BABYz! LEt mE TELL YOU THAT BAP IS SERIOUSLY SOOOO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL, HANDSOME, GORGEOUS, STUNNING, MESMERIZING, UP CLOSE HOW DID MY HEART EVEN SURVIVE?????? I GOT TO BEAR HUG EVERYONEEEE THEYRE ALL SO TALL AND IM HELLA SMOL SO THEY HAD TO SQUAT DOWN FOR ME HUUHUU THYE LIKE PATTED MY BACK DURING THE HUGS TOO AHHHHHH WE HAD A DECENT AMOUNT OF TIME WITH ALL OF THEM!!! I TOLD DAEHYUN I SAW HIM IN KOREA IN ASU AND HE WAS LIKE OOOOOH THANK YOU!!! CURSES TO MY TINY AF VOICE CUZ I DONT THINK THEY ALL EVEN REALLY HEARD WHAT I SAID SOMETIMES!!! I told Zelo he was too tall for me lmaooo I really wanna see how much he had to bend down for me! I seriously wished that my m&g was recorded but :((((((((((( After my m&g I legit squealed and hugged my friend lmao but the staff yelled at us for being too loud LMAO BUT GIRL WE JUST HUGGED FCKN KINGS LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We tried to contain ourselves as much as possible LOL Daehyun said thank you out loud to a lot of BABYz after their m&g! Zelo kept dabbing at BABYz lmaooo a lot of them didnt notice tho cuz he would do it after they had already passed him HAHAHA when it was my hi-touch I dabbed at Zelo hahah and he dabbed back :D I wanted to get a group hug from them but i got too excited and FUCKING FORGOT to ask for a group hug *kicks myself* Now I wish I had written my name on a name tag (like “HI I’M JUNIE”) and hope they wouldve said “HI JUNIE”  but I didnt OTL 

I really wish I could relive the whole day. I wish I was able to record my m&g and got a group hug or them to say my name or I had said something more to them but it’s ok my heart is very very happy and I love bap soo much. My 7 year love for them continues and I will really love them forever. Let’s meet again soon, my loves! I’m looking forward to then~! 

[spacepandastories]

Big TML update

01/08/19

Tomorrowland is one of the biggest music festivals in western Europe, and thanks to my student job I've been working there for the past three years which is really fun, but so much happened this year it's been the weirdest two weeks in a while.

It started the first day when I had to do top-up (people pay with their bracelets, we were the people who put your money on there). This is a job I knew very well since it's the most common job to get when working at TML so I was really laid back. After unpacking and staring up my system however, I found out it wasn't working because of a connection error between the card terminal and my pc (to save you more technical detail, there was a very limited amount of things that could cause this). So I basically let my supervisor know and after some calling around a tech guy was on his way. Instead of just waiting and doing nothing I kept myself busy helping out some people who didn't know the system very well as well as helping out some of the visitors with common problems because as I said this was my third year so I actually know some things about the festival now.

After about an hour the tech guy arrived and after looking at the pc for a bit he decided he wasn't the man to fix it. He then called his supervisor who would check it out as soon as he could, which was apparently another hour and a half after that. Day long short: I started my shift at 3pm and had to wait for almost 6 hours to get my system fixed. Apparently it takes 5 tech guys to change a broken cable. The last dude to come fix it was a guy I remembered from when I had a similar problem last year, he fixed it in less then 10 minutes. So I was finally up and running at about 9 in the evening. That day we closed up at 21:30.

So to me that was as weird as it gets, literally working for only half an hour during a full day shift.

Afterwards I went to hang out with the gang. Caught the second to last train which gave me enough time to play along, sleep for a bit and catch the next train at 7am to be at work at 8:30.

We arrived at the festival at 10am so we still had to wait an hour. During that time no more than ten people including myself were called to the side by let's call them the big guys, which usually means bad news, but this time it was to tell us that we'd be working at a VIP area and that we would be taken separately from the rest of the group shortly to get a special briefing. Let me tell you, when working at a festival you don't want to be a part of a special group, you just want to do the same job everyone is doing because that's why you work at a festival; it's easy money.

So there we went to the VIP towers, I was already looking up to it. We get assigned to our places in the weirdest way, it seemed like nobody really knew what was going on and what needed to happen. So we are sent to our bar, get taken back immediately to attend a little demonstration of the new software we were about to use by the guy who developed it, which was actually really cool. He tried to explain the technical terms the best he could so I could be the nerd™ to talk tech with him which was nice because I got to understand the system to a deeper extend and also I got to feel smart at the beginning of my day.

Now I'll save you the details but literally everything that could have been broken was actually broken. We basically had 4 different systems for 3 different things of which 1 was working, but we still couldn't use it because it was dependent on one of the other systems that was not working. Over that day they start gradually fixing things one by one until at the end of the day almost everything worked the way it was supposed to. Over that day though is a lot of frustrations of the waiters because our system doesn't work proparly, frustration from their supervisors and the people responsible for all the VIP stuff. So VIP day one sucked absolute balls. After talking with everyone that worked VIP as well we establish that everyone had a sucky day and literally wanted to cry at least once because of organisation and some bad superiors.

When packing our stuff to go home at some point between one and two at night we see one of the people we served that night get carried out by four guards. He looks bad.

The next day at arrival we immediately group up with all the VIP people to discuss the previous day. Basically everyone would rather do the usual register job so we're a little grumpy. When the big guys arrived they called us to the side again. They acknowledged things were set up and handled badly the day before, but people were talked to and things should be set up a little better that day. When we started talking about other employees being pushy, unfriendly and some of them just crossing lines, they said we as employees at music festivals we should be mentally up for it. They came off a little harsh but we'd kind of gotten used to that kind of behaviour, people simply don't have time and get annoyed.

Some time later we get on our way to the main stage which is where most of the VIP areas are. At the first tower where we have to split up we took a little break tot sing happy birthday to the sad soul who had to work a fourteen hour VIP shift on his birthday. Afterwards our supervisor takes our sandwich order which consists of a lot of cheese apparently, when he mentions the guy who got carried away yesterday had passed away that night.

With our stomachs turned we walked to our section where the waiters are already setting up. Over that day we talked to some colleagues about the man who died. At the time there was no mention about it online and this is the information I gathered: they carried him away as far as they could before he went out. Then they tried CPR on him where one of my colleagues was present as well for some reason. Instead of looking away he watched the life slowly drain from a person at like 2 or 3am. With that on his mind he had to go home and sleep for three hours before going back there again. Honestly I'm just glad I wasn't him. Also I heard it was probably waterpoisoning, which sounds believable knowing how much cocaine goes around there.

The rest of that day was better though. We started out kind of relieved because things actually were set up much better, also the waiters were a lot nicer and the few things that still weren't working got mostly fixed over that day. Not much happened for the rest of my time at the VIP area. I will say the coke usage only got worse. At some point when I had to go to the bathroom I couldn't find a single toilet without blood in it (god bless the two cleanup dudes who had to take care of two areas at once, literally running around to keep up with these people's messes), so because of hygienic reasons I decided to go at some other time maybe at some other place and went to just wash my hands where the guy next to me is shamelessly washing the blood out of his nose. However friendly our customers were, I always wanted to stay as far away from them. Whenever I had to be on the other side of the bar like when I had to pee or when I had a break and I had to pass these people I just didn't feel safe, especially later at night when they were really fucked up. I saw girls in their twenties gone out of their mind, struggling to hold attention and wobbling on their legs while their eyes occasionally rolled back into their skull and everytime I had a second of panic because they might just collapse and not stand up again. Might I add these girls were always accompanied by older men.

So on the last day of that weekend I was glad it was over. After that shift I went to hang out with Tigger. It was nice to be in the real world again. In hindsight I'm glad those days were so long and I got that little sleep because if I'd had a chance to process what was happening while I was working there, I really wouldn't have wanted to go back.

The next weekend was like the opposite of the previous one. I was working in the moneyroom for the entire weekend which means you can sit inside, chill out on a big ass couch, have a cold drink anytime and you have a view over a big part of the festival. Also you get a lot of breaks because you have to literally sit and wait for work. As it was pretty uneventful, here are some highlights: We found a conference room that was empty at all times and had lots of windows, so we spent our break during rainy days stuffing our faces while waving at flocks of people outside. Also at some point when the money people came to get the little money boxes to put in their money van, something went wrong while taking one of the boxes from the rack. Like I'm not sure how this stuff works but they couldn't get it out and tried a little too hard and set it off. Now when you set one of those things off there's no turning it back. There was just a few loud beeps and one red LED flashing after which the money people say that it's gonna blow. Like that's actually how they said it. So they knew they had some time to at least secure out stuff and put plastic and tissues around the box because apparently these things can actually blow and splat ink in a few meters radius. Luckily this one was a little tame and just let out a loud pop before gently leaking lots of purple fluid. That night when we were ready to leave in the parking lot (you still have to wait until the parking lot opens to get home. It closes from 11pm until 3am because during that time, the streets are full of drunk people they don't want you to run over), we turn out of the parking space when the car next to us decides it's a good idea to start moving when a car is right in front of his. So we silently freak out because well, it's half past 2 in the morning and we're driving a rental car. So he gets out of the driver's seat to talk to the driver of the dumdum car while I get out to see if we have any damage, which luckily we don't. Dumdum smells like alcohol and even though I don't speak french that well I can clearly hear him trip over his sentences. My driver boy however speaks fluently French so I don't have to interact that much with dumdum. The only thing I pick up from their ten minute conversation is that dumdum has a little scratch on his mercedes, of which I suspected it'd been there for a while, also it was easy to fix using that infomercial gel stuff. But he had to make a problem out of it so we went to fill out the insurance papers. Let me tell you that takes a while, besides having to write down all the personal information and that of the insurance company itself, which was hard enough driving a rental, you also have to make a sketch of the situation, like pen to paper on your leg drawing out two cars and a parking space. He also wrote down that dumdum had obviously drank, so I was kind of nervous when handing him the copy, but he didn't even look it over. We wait in our car making sure he leaves first and keeping our distance while he cuts corners over the boardwalk and eventually takes a different turn. I got home by 4am.

All by all working at TML is fun. You meet a lot of people and immediately spend at least 10 hours with them so you actually bond with some of them. But it's also nice to sleep again.

Things I forgot to cover:

-During the first or second night at VIP Paris Hilton came by our section. I just came back from a short break and saw a cloud of people with their phones out. I honestly didn't care about anything that happened on the other side of the counter, you'd see a lot of shit there. But after a while I saw this vaguely familiar face at the bar, picture exactly Paris Hilton in the nineties, add some wrinkles and there you have it. Huge sunglasses (I remind you it is dark outside) and leather barret and all. By the time I saw her she was leaning on the bar, at the verge of bursting out in tears when three waiters hurried a bucket filled with bottles of liquor to her. Next thing I know she's dancing and walking around, trips and falls Hard. But like actually face first SHLAM into the floor. I wish people had put that on their instagram stories instead of the weird posey shit she did for like 5 minutes, the rest of the night was straight up embarrassing.

-Everyone at VIP was so goodlooking it was intimidating. The hostesses wore tight pink dresses, the waiters were all dressed up and everyone looked like they were casted to work there. It was just weird to me. Imagine being somewhere where every single person is so beautiful you're just questioning it.

- Our superior at VIP got fired after the first weekend because he spend too much time drinking with the customers.

- Like Mike is not a nice person.

-I brought my gameboys to the moneyroom job because I knew I'd have a lot of spare time. Thus I came known as gameboyGIRL to the people there and their families (I've seen a lot of people calling their wives/ girlfriends/ kids at least once during the weekend). Now I really got to build backlights in them because gen z kids be asking how to turn the screen brighter 'so they can see'.

-The night when I planned to go to Tigger after my shift the tire of my bike was all fucked up. The inner tire was empty and the outer tire had partially come off. Not sure why this happened bet oh shit I still have to bring that thing back home hope I do not forget that. (I ended up walking and met him in the middle)

That's all as far as I can remember right now. It's been eventful, and absolutely different from what I was expecting.