#this is not how I wanted you guys to find out I'm a jam shipper but okay

[dixidin]

MARBLE HORNETS TEXTPOST RAAAGGGG💥💥💥💪🗣🗣

@zol1x did I cook

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[asagi-s-garden]

I was not expecting all that when I asked that question and I'm super glad I did. I...feel very much the same when it came to ichiruki. I really thought they would end on some cop out platonic thing, which would have been fine because they really were great friends, but dude. That arc, way back when rukia is about to be sentenced to death, that was my jam. He goes through so much and then he fucking stops that attack like nothing. I'm sorry. No. They're something.

I'm glad I didn't get on your nerves Anon, I know I have a tendency to ramble

I always thought it had the potential to go one of two ways only: Cop-out platonic, but with a wink-nudge to them staying together like seeing eachother at work or alluding to the fact that they were living together at the Kuchiki mansion or something (because I've never seen Ichigo as someone who could live on his own, and in SS especially I see him as pulling the "Why bother paying for my own place when I can live with you guys? YOU MOOCHED OFF OF ME FOR MONTHS RUKIA I CAN LIVE HERE IF I WANT TO!" nonsense to save face) OR they'd go the Inuyasha route and end up married with three kids and have ZERO in between (atleast I was right about one thing) since that seems to be how shounen manga works

I always thought the last pannel would be Ichigo and Rukia together, romantically or not, because they ARE Bleach

I agree, the SS arc is what started me on Bleach, it remains the high point of the series, there was so much excellence there!!

What kills me most though actually isn't that Ichigo and Rukia didn't end up together- it's that Ichigo ended up doing the one thing he spent the entire series basically saying he was NOT going to do: Living a normal human life

Excuse me, no? I mean that was the entire- and only- purpose of the Fullbringer arc, to show that Ichigo could be human, but couldn't have a LIFE as one, Ichigo spent the entire series not just trying to protect people, but trying to keep his powers and keep them growing, there's not a single MOMENT of the series that showed Ichigo as being someone who wanted to live or was capable of living life as a normal human without powers, and Ichigo is like Stiles in this way, he says the opposite of what he means 95% of the time and the 5% of the time he means what he says you know he means it

I could understand shipper goggles blinding me with IchiRuki *snort-laugh* but I CAN'T understand where there was ever a moment when Ichigo living life without his powers became a possibility, and hell, even most of the IchiHime fans agreed that that was weird, atleast from what little I've seen and heard of it, I've tried to distance myself from all of that but from what little I've seen, I've noticed that even they find it odd that he gave up the life he loved

And not seeing Rukia for a DECADE when he always busted his rump to see her? Her not seeing HIM after being the SINGLE driving force in getting his powers back? None of this makes sense

I hold to my beleif that Kubo wrote that ending as a big middle finger to Shounen Jump for not giving him sixty years to finish his arc because he knew it would shoot the final sales of Bleach badly, let's remember that Kubo's target audience is JAPANESE, and the Japanese fans are MASS-MAJORITY IchiRuki shippers, IchiHime is TINY in Japan and largely seen as more of a crack pairing (in fact, Rukia pairings in general seem to be more popular in Japan than Ichigo pairings, but I digress) Kubo making IchiHime canon- from Japan's perspective- would probably be alot like Jeff Davis making Stiam canon here, wich isn't a slam again Stiam fans at all, by the way, nothin' wrong with Stiam, but it's just a TINY pairing that's largely veiwed as having no potential in canon in comparison to a show full of BEHEAMOTH pairings like Sterek, Stydia, and even Stalia in comparison (the Ichigo pairings, if I remember correctly, ranked something along the lines of: IchiRuki, GrimmIchi, IchiIshi, and then you got into the smaller ones, and the Rukia pairings actually went IchiRuki, RenRuki, and I want to say that RukiHime is third but I could be mistaken, point is, wile RenRuki appealed to a decent audience, IchiHime didn't)

Kubo quite honestly could have ended with almost any Ichigo pairing and in *JAPAN* it still would have been more popular than IchiHime (ironic huh?) in fact, IchiHime shippers are largely western in general, our perception of romance and beauty are much different than it is in Japan

Kubo is also someone who's made no secret about struggling to be on good terms with the SJ people not liking the fact that they were rushing his final arc, it doesn't take much digging to find quotes from him that indicate that his relationship with Shounen Jump was tense at best and the second to last chapter has that memorable quote from Kyoraku about people rushing him

It's petty- incredibly petty- but it's actually pretty possible, there's a saying amongst writers that there's no better fuel than revenge and bitterness, and I know from experience that spite-writing is a very, very real thing, and I've been tempted to write things that are not necessarily *good* just to get back at someone or because someone has pissed me off, I usually end up restraining myself out of the love of my charectors but that isn't always the case

Plus, just look at how Shounen Jump handled all of this, everything they've done since that ending has been INTENSELY IchiRuki, because IchiRuki sells, there's never been ONE peice of IchiHime merch this entire time and the only RenRuki merch out there is the light novel Kubo is writing- wich is again, Kubo, not  SJ- and also again, RenRuki- unlike IchiHime- actually has a fanbase in Japan

Anyway, I rambled again, but just... IchiRuki is the true love that never came to fruition, and Bleach historically carries the worst ending of all time (yes Penny Dreadful, you're off the hook this time)