#this is part one of two if i unbecome unlazy and rewrite the second part discord ate

[hittingthebrainsfunnybone]

CW: Kinda gorey, lady on lady whump, whumper x whumpee, it has a fluff tone despite violence

Akari and Andromeda accidentally made eye contact while Akari was straining to wrench the bloody stake from her stomach and they both giggled. 

"What~? Why are you laughing~? Pft-" Andromeda trot over to the other girl and the metal grate below them made an echoey thump thump thump. She waved a hand in front of Akari's face and her dazed expression seemed to follow the motion. "You wouldn't just pretend to be weak to make me do it right? I'm just a lab tech~! I don't have super strength like you~" She smiled at Akari and nodded down to the pole skewering her.

Akari chuckled back. The demon reached over to wipe the slick of warm blood on her hand onto the sleeve of Andromeda's lab coat- that got her a slap on the shoulder- then got a better grip on the thing impaling her. A small grunt of effort, but Akari managed to extract it from both the examination table and her body in one smooth movement, with just one hand~ Unbothered by the squelch of her own eviscerated innards threatening to topple out, Akari sat up and presented the freed weapon with a grin and flexed a little more when Andromeda clapped.

"So~? How was it this time?"

"Only four days, five hours, and thirty six minutes in your planet's time! You're definitely getting stronger~ Last time it was longer than... what was-"

"A week?"

"That's it~! If only there were more specimens like you, then I could actually report conclusions about our study together." Andromeda frowned and swung a leg over the table to sit on Akari's lap. She hadn't been able to find any other Earthlings that could regenerate as fast as Akari. And even in the intergalactic community, it was more common for organisms to become weaker with consecutive instances of total organ failure, not recover faster every time like her star test subject. Andromeda whipped around to show her pouting face to Akari and that horrible woman rolled her eyes!

Akari wrapped an arm around the moody genius and rubbed off a bit of her blood from Andromeda's hand "You're thinking about it again, I can tell. I'm really not hiding anything~! There's just nothing else to tell you- I didn't study demons, I just am one! Parents said it was a family curse or something, dunno. Maybe when you get time off, we could drop by and look at some of the old family journals my grandfather likes to hoard." Akari cackled and ran her clawed nails across the neat little bow tie covering Andromeda's throat. "We can make photocopies and fax them to your fancy space computer~ No paper needed~" 

Andromeda's smile twitched and she exhaled, specifically in the way Earthlings did to convey their contempt for the sheer audacity of another's rudeness. Pursing her lips, she sneakily shifted her position on Akari's lap to snatch up a handful of her intestines and yank. A long stretch of the fragile digestive tract draped out of her stomach and Andromeda blushed.

Akari had been handling the pain like a boss, as per usual, but she could admit that catching her off guard wasn't impossible. Her breath hitched when the sharp pain shot through her gut and the pull against all that torn tissue wasn't anything to sneeze at either. She thought the annoyed groan was enough to get the point across, but for some reason Andromeda was too busy glaring and going red in the face to realize she was getting a different kind of red all over the place and that Akari was holding out a hand- asking for her goddamn intestines back. 

Andromeda scoffed but she tried to loosen her grip a bit. "Ugh! It's not like that! You were teasing me and- I forgot how long they were okay?! I was gonna pull you in all close and sexy like in your movies, but then more of your ugly flesh tube just came out- Stop laughing! You're choking on your own blood just to laugh at me~? It makes you look stupid, close your fucking mouth!" 

Akari really was gagging on her own blood in her fit of laughter, but even then she caught Andromeda's flailing punch. After getting the giggles out of her system and coughing up more blood onto her already filthy blood caked skin, Akari finally caught her breath and held up her hand to speak. 

"Okay-" Andromeda was already prickling at the shit-eating grin plastered across Akari’s face. “I’m sorry for making fun of your completely normal and not at all funny crippling paper allergy. And I wasn’t kidding about the digital copies, our tech isn’t *that* far behind. Maybe it won’t airdrop to your ship or whatever, but my laptop’s probably still in my room gathering dust. There’s no way my mom would throw it out.” 

Akari’s grin faded as her offer got more serious, and the warm tones in her voice really came out, and the sincerity in those pleading puppy dog eyes- Like that was fair! 

”Hmph!” Andromeda lunged in to peck Akari on the cheek and hastily jam the intestines back into her gut in one move. Then she hopped back off her lap. A glance down before she smoothed out her skirt reminded her how much of a mess it was, soaked in blood, but a glance at Akari made her feel a little better about her own lack of decorum. The woman’s usually smooth, perfect, inexplicably unblemished skin and killer silhouette…- After all the injuries over the months Andromeda had been examining her, her body was still identical. But of course right now, the grime and guts would make anyone wrinkle their nose.

”If you’re sure it’s safe, then we’ll go- But make sure scrubbing off is part of fixing yourself up! You smell disgusting!”