#this is the last ask regarding the topic i'll answer so save yourself the time of sending any more asks about it!

[lloydfrontera]

i think there was a comparison of tcf and tged here but atleast in tged og lloyd's parents still notice their son is not their actual son, unlike cale's family who were glad he just simply become non trash (this was the most upsetting when i read here that arcos and marbella noticed but cale's did not or even the butlers), a non family member didn't wish or say that it was great that og lloyd was replaced by someone else even if that someone is more helpful to the county, unlike alberu who was glad that cale got replaced, and another atleast suho plans to tell the truth to lloyd's parents unlike with rok soo to cale's parents who accepted he is cale (but then again og cale did request to accept the body they are in as who they are actually are)

i feel like i got a bunch of spoilers shoved down my throat but i have no context to them so no harm done ajshdksfd

i have no idea how fair it is to compare tged to tcf, they're two different pieces of media with their own themes, plots and characters going on and different people like different things. that's fine. i just personally disliked that people kept comparing my blorbo to their blorbo to make theirs look better. i don't want to the same thing! that's not very nice!

so i'm just gonna talk about what i do know which is the way tged treated og lloyd! i've read a bunch of isekai stories and it's rare the times the og characters are taken into account or even acknowledged so i was pleasantly surprised with how much focus tged put on the fact that suho did take someone's place, he did lie to his family and he did pretend to be someone he wasn't. and he feels genuinely sorry about it. he doesn't justify it by thinking he's better than og lloyd anyway so no harm done. he genuinely wants to apologize and make it right and he wants to do it at the right moment.

and then when the people around him find out the truth, they're not,,, happy about it. they don't think it was for the best or that og lloyd got what he deserved or that they're glad for it.

javier is the closest thing we get to something like that and even then he's genuinely torn about what he should do with the information. he hated og lloyd, absolutely despised the guy's guts, but even then he's not glad that he got replaced even when he acknowledges the new lloyd is hardworking, constructive and reliable. he doesn't know where his loyalties should lie and he's "filled with anguish" as he tries to decide what to do.

it would've been very easy for bk moon to just go "yeah he doesn't care that the son of the family he swore to protect got replaced by a stranger that's been lying to him for years" like, ahem, some other people would have, but instead he took the time to acknowledge that "hey, this is a genuinely fucked up situation, there's no right answer here, anyway you slice it someone will get hurt and the only way to move forward is to minimize the damage and make amends to the people who were hurt".

which is nice to see in an isekai! even tho og lloyd was absolute human garbage the narrative didn't dismiss him as a person and instead acknowledge that while it wasn't lloyd's fault there was still a someone being hurt by the fact he possessed a body that wasn't his.

and then when his parents find out they genuinely mourn the child they lost. there's no happiness, no joy, not even relief at being rid of a constant source of worry and disappointed. they're so... sad and heartbroken about their son being gone. even while they accept lloyd as their kid, even as much as they come to love him, there is no moment where they express any kind of pleasure about him replacing og lloyd. rather you get the sensation that they wish they could've had both of them at the same time, that they wish one hadn't come at the price of the other, that they love both of them so, so much even as different as they are.

the only one who doesn't express any kind of regret or sadness about og lloyd is julian which... honestly, it's very earned. no one should be forced to mourn their abuser, which exactly what og lloyd was to julian. if julian had expressed sadness over og lloyd that would've been his right, but the fact that he never did, at least not on-screen shouldn't be held against him, considering the amount of hurt og lloyd caused him.

so yeah! i really like the way bk moon handled this aspect of the story! again, i don't know how tcf works or what happens on it and at this point i'm not really interested in knowing! i'm sure it did its own thing and that it was great too!

[iwritethat]

Tim Drake: Puppy

A/N: Doggy Plan 4/?, Tim struck me as a Sheep Dog person but this is the DC universe and Krypton exists... :)

Warnings: Mentions of undergarments? *GIFs do not belong to me.*

>>>>——————————>

Look after one of Krypto's Pups they said.

"It'll be fun." Kon said.

"Only for a month or two." Kara has added on.

Tim had his own apartment after moving from the Manor, minding a puppy wasn't too much of a chore for him at the moment especially if it was a favour for one of his best friends. Alas, he was grateful they didn't give him the whole litter as that might've been too much to handle alongside vigilantism but a month or two with one companion wouldn't be so bad.

How wrong he was.

The experience had its ups and downs, yet he'd grown somewhat attached to the creature and his little quirks. The pup had a mischievous streak no doubt about it, often enjoying plays of tug of war and stealing things littered about the apartment were only part of it. However, when he awoke one morning, Tim strolled into his kitchen to find the nameless white, half alien, pup proudly seated outside his bedroom with his treasure strewn before him. Hesitantly, the vigilante stepped forward, analysing his recent discovery before he became instantly flushed and embarrassed.

A Batman Thong.

He wasn't sure what to do with them, figuring his pup had brought them as some form of play but alas he had his suspicions of exactly who they belonged to.

The 56 year old Ms Baker across the hall wasn't a possibility, it simply didn't fit her fashion choices, and it definitely didn't fit the size of Mr Crosby who consistently hung his boxers on the balcony which left his remaining prime suspect - (Y/n) (L/n). As much as they were on friendly terms he knew you had yet to reach a personal enough level to slip your undergarments into casual conversation, usually exchanges consisted of asking how each other's day was during hall passing's or crossings in the lobby.

Regardless, assuming it was a one off occurrence he chose to ignore it.

Although, after a month the underwear was piling up just as the frequency was increasing and Tim had no idea exactly how to handle the situation. Of course, it just had to be his cute neighbour in the apartment complex as the proximity made sense but how the pup had obtained her panties remained a mystery. Every other day his companion would bring a new pair of delicates thoroughly pleased with the growing confusion reaching his masters features. He even called his older brother for advice, the latest artefact of the day being red lace underwear much to Timothy's horror - the thought had potentially crossed his mind but he most definitely hadn't planned on seeing your private items under these circumstances.

.

However Dick found the whole situation amusing and couldn't stifle his laughter when Tim presented him with a box containing the topic of choice but didn’t let him open it for confidential reasons.

"And the pup keeps bringing you ladies panties?"

"Yes! I'm pretty sure they belong to (Y/n), I overheard her talking to her friend the other day about how she's either misplacing her laundry or there's a serious pervert problem." The concern was evident in Tims voice, although Dick couldn't understand his lack of confidence regarding solving the issue.

"Just return them already, explain that your dog stole them and that you're sorry for the trouble. You'll finally talk to (Y/n) rather that longingly stare and crush on her from afar." Dick gave a lopsided smile, leaning back against the couch.

"We do talk! And I was going to, but every time I got to her door I panicked. Standing there with a box of her underwear, that's so creepy and I don't want (Y/n) to think I'm weird." Tim desperately explained, and they could understand his argument as he came to a halt with an exasperated sigh.

“Nah, just that you’re the pervert she was talking about.” Duke openly laughed, finding the whole situation hilarious.

"Alright, do it tomorrow and just tell (Y/n) the truth." The eldest confidently stated, Duke nodding in agreement.

"Right, I will do that. Not so hard." Tim wholeheartedly spoke, determination renewed thanks to his visitors but required serious consideration on how to handle the matter in the least awkward way.

"He's not gonna do it." Duke quietly chuckled, shaking his head whilst fussing the pup on his lap who gleefully barked in response.

.

The next day he had every intention to do so, a month was long enough and with the numerous delicates his puppy had brought back he assumed you'd be running low. The box was situated under his arm and the wait was tantalising after he'd knocked, he'd evaluated the best terminology to use and ran over his explanation countless times until it was flawless. Yet despite all of that, he couldn't explain the sheer amount of relief his body experienced when you didn't answer the door and he could safely head back to his apartment next door.

Tim suddenly halted outside, unfamiliar mumbling automatically rebooting his senses as he quietly unlocked his door and stealthily entered his apartment to better hear the commotion of the potential enemy, dropping off the parcel in the process.

"I swear you better give those back before your hot owner comes back Snowball or I'll be arrested for breaking and entering!" The melodious voice immediately put him at comfortable ease, subconsciously bring a smile to his face in the process as your compliment didn’t fall on deaf ears as well as the nickname you’d given his temporary pet.

Upon reaching his living area, he found the white bundle perched on the sofa with you slowly prowling around like you were cautious as to not scare him away, it was cute watching you both like this. That is until you lunged across the couch, fingers hooking onto whatever the canine had in his jaws as he tugged against you in reply with playful barks emitting from his companion.

"Damn you're strong pup, but please... it's my last pair..." Your tone quietened at those last words, yet you continued with your game of tug of war.

"Yeah, he‘s tough huh?"

You instantly froze with a quiet squeak of surprise, your utter startling causing you to let go of your item and stumble to your feet in embarrassment after being caught. Meanwhile the furball happily plopped over to his owner, Tim kneeling to collect whatever he had taken from you but as he dropped the item into his hand the man flushed as you face palmed.

Tim stood, garment between his thumb and index finger as he offered it back to you unable to make eye contact and a flood of apologies escaping his lips, if only he could see how flustered you were too.

"Thanks and about your apartment, sorry - it's just my last pair and I couldn't lose those before I went shopping." You briskly explained, pocketing the underwear with a sheepish smirk.

"Ah - yeah, about that..." Tim sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, walking over to the counter to pick up his previous cargo before handing it to you as he became increasingly flustered.

You opened the mysterious thing, rooting through the contents with a contrast of awkward relief and mild concern. Your red lacy pair, your ribbon briefs, the basic garments, they were all here.

"So... you just kept a box of my underwear in your kitchen?" Your tone was mildly suspicious but held humour as you cocked an amused brow.

"Don't say it like it that! At first I thought it was an accident, the pup only brought back a Batman thong and I thought it was a prank. But then it continued, almost everyday and I couldn't just throw away whosever they were after I'd attained so many. I didn't even know they were yours at first, it was simply a logical deduction. It's not like I could just knock and say, oh here's your panties that my dog stole." Tim instantly justified, hands waving up in defence as he flushed even further, cute really.

"True, what would the neighbours think about us. But thanks for not throwing them you’ve saved me a shopping trip and again, sorry for intruding." You gave a kind smile, along with your apology whilst the pup wagged his tail at the exchange.

"How did you get in exactly?" Now Tim was curious, crossing his arms and raising an expectant brow at your awkwardness.

"Um, I may've climbed over the balcony. I was preparing dinner when I caught sight of your puppy tugging my last piece of underwear off of my clothes line - I had no choice to but to chase after him. Lord knows how he managed to get across that gap." As you explained, you walked Tim out onto his own balcony, pointing over at yours whilst the male paled slightly.

Admittedly, Tim was worried for your safety, falling from the third floor would definitely cause you some injury and the last thing he'd want was to ever let you get hurt. Yet the more pressing matter was that Kryptos offspring may have inherited certain abilities that allowed him access to your home.

"That's one talented dog." He only managed an uncertain remark as to not clue you in on his Alien related thoughts.

"Right? Anyway, I should probably get back over there." You happily chimed, moving to sit on the balcony railing before Tim automatically  grasped your waist to pull you back down to his level.

"Wha-What are you doing?!"

"I left my key on the side when I gave chase, my door is locked so I've gotta go back the way I came." You shrugged but gave a small laugh at your hasty behaviour, you never expected your first proper meeting with your hot neighbour to go down like this and you’d hoped it’d improve your relationship with him.

"No, you're not doing that. You're here because of my house guest so I'll do the honours, please wait here (Y/n) and help yourself to anything you like." The male gave a weak smile, ensuring he’d deterred your adventurous intentions before hopping onto the railing himself with ease.

"Anything? Hm I guess fair is fair, where do you keep your underwear neighbour?" Your mischievous tone caught Tim off guard, his words faltering at the forwardness of your question.

"I - (Y/n) -"

"I'm kidding Tim, sorry I'll keep Snowball here company." Your neighbour shook his head with a smile, stabilising himself before hopping over effortlessly compared to the strain it took you to waddle across the connecting ledge.

.

Tim returned through his front door moments later, finding you and the pup situated on the couch holding up the Batman Thongs.

"Ah (Y/n), I know we skipped a few steps in the friendship ladder but I've seen enough of your underwear for the past month." Tim jokingly commented, covering his eyes as he placed your keys on the coffee counter before you.

"Oh no, these aren't mine..."

You both stared at each for a moment, then back at the thongs with realisation hitting you simultaneously.

"Ms Baker!"

"Ah since your pup stole them you should return it Tim."

"You held them last!" At that you tossed them in his direction, the man instinctively dodging whilst the pup caught them mid air and brought them back to you.

Only, it wasn’t normal.

The pup was suspended in the air, tail frantically wagging as your breath hitched whilst you backed away ever so slightly.

“Neigh-neighbour... I um, I think I know how your friend stole my panties...”

It was the underlying fear in your hushed whisper that caused Tim to focus his attention on you rather than the beverages he was making, his discovery caused him to sigh with his previous assumptions proven correct by the flying super canine.

“What - oh crap... Um I think you should stay for dinner, I can explain...”

“Ye-Yeah...”

.

Best first date ever. At least it would be when you retold that story about your boyfriend and his canine, Snowball the Superdog.

[yaboylevi]

Hello there! I couldn't help but notice that salty anon asking about your stance on Levi so I'll ask again because it sure sounds interesting! Do you mind telling us how you feel about him?

Okay, so the original question from a dumb hater was how I could even support a romantic ship between Eren and Levi if I am not a Levi fan*.

*If a ”Levi fan”, like that idiotic anon meant, is someone who excuses all of Levi’s bad behaviors, then no, I am not a fan.

Premise no.1: I’ve loved Levi for so many years, he’s been part of my twitter handle in the past, is in my Tumblr url, icons on various social media, I have a lot of merchandise and not only for “the sake of the ship”. I genuinely used to love him to the point that he was my favorite character alongside Eren, I couldn’t pick one. So I guess I am a bit of a fan, after all.

Premise no.2: I am a gigantic bag of salt about this topic so tread carefully if you’re easily offended. I won’t sugarcoat my VERY BIASED opinions, and if you strongly disagree, that’s perfectly fine. I won’t change my opinion with the information we currently have, because this isn’t a gut reaction I spent two seconds on, I actually soul searched (lol) for the reasons as to why I felt so negatively about Levi. He was my fave, and I felt deeply hurt and confused and frustrated, so I thought long and hard about it. I am open to change my mind if anything else comes out of him in the future.

Also, I have already spent a lot of words on how I feel about Levi’s character as of late, here, here, and here, here, here and here for example, also here and here (I haven’t exactly been silent about it lol) but let me reiterate it into one incomplete post. It’s really freaking long, and a wall of text at it. I don’t expect people to put up with this messy rant, but suit yourself if you want to.

@ the people who sent these new questions almost a month ago, I’m sorry this isn’t the reply you hoped for. If you guys want a more positive take on this, just look through my ereri meta tag.

Levi as a character can be simplified in 3 points, in my opinion: 1) the deep, caring feelings he has for his comrades and as such the responsibility he feels for them and their deaths; 2) his violent side and how he resorts to violence to solve situations. These 2 merge together into 3) what used to be his main goal, free humanity. He lent his strength (that at times he uses for violence/to get his way) to the cause: helping in freeing humanity inside the walls because the sense of freedom is worth everything.

So, harsh opinion: I believe he has lost sight of his goal – as Isayama has stated in the past even though I didn’t wanna believe it because it made zero sense and cheapened everything I loved about Levi – and he has fallen back into his worst behaviors. Add to that a lack of active presence and engagement in the actual story, and you get this predictable, background character that I can’t for the life of me enjoy currently. Because apparently, he forgot how to live on his own without Erwin’s guidance (and here I’d have another bag of salt to pour but this would get too long, and I don’t have the patience to word it in a way that wouldn’t bring me the ire of his fans).

I don’t know if Levi is really supposed to be seen this way, but at least to me, the focus has been mostly on this: his anger/violence/flaws, and his lack of involvement.

I never liked the way he resorted to violence to “resolve” not life-or-death situations or simply to vent his frustrations, in the first place. It’s something Eren had to let go of, he was rewarded when he used his wits, abandoning pure rage for the sake of revenge, and it’s always been Isayama’s intention, imo, to show as much with the story in general and with Levi as well, as Levi has never been rewarded for it either.

So, witnessing his character revert AGAIN to kicks and straight-up sadism, as a fan, has been a big disappointment. Then, the shift of his goal because “saving humanity” wasn’t Erwin’s goal, after all, has been another point of disappointment – but this happened way before the current arc. His obsession with “making the dead soldiers’ sacrifices worth it” can be commendable, but the way he’s going about it is totally blind and dictated by anger and loss of hope, in a way, so I don’t see it as something positive either. He lacks vision, he lacks a voice in the things that are happening around him as if he doesn’t care whatever happens to all of them, as long as he can make Zeke suffer and kill him. I know it’s not totally the case, because we have seen (and I want to believe) that he still cares about his comrades who are still alive, as seen during the battle in Liberio and his reticence at following direct orders to kill Eren, but at the same time, the obsession with “repaying the lives of the dead” is making him being absolutely heartless for the sake of his “hope” (like, I’m paraphrasing here but he literally went “let’s go to war again and let Historia become a shifter if she so wants to, who cares, more deaths, yay”), though he himself doesn’t seem to care about hope and freedom and all this stuff that much anymore, or he would’ve spoken up about the mess Paradis and Hange were throwing themselves into, like Eren did.

Another point of dissatisfaction is that it seemed to me like he was forming stronger bonds with the 104th and he was becoming better at voicing his opinions without becoming violent, but I guess he either regressed, or I always read him wrong. His violence in 114 was downright revolting to me, I felt nauseous and, in a way, I’m glad he got k.o’ed. It put a stop to his metaphorical downfall, at least — I see post-timeskip Levi as a cheapened, worsened, “hyperfocused-on-just-one-side-of-him” version of the Levi I used to love in earlier arcs and he was only getting worse, imo.

And, as a special mention re: his violence and his relationship with Eren… It was interesting to observe how he slowly changed in regards to Eren, learning how to lift him up and get the best out of and for him, caring about and paying attention to Eren’s emotional state when no one could or would. It was also very interesting how he opened up to Eren just because he wanted to help him, always, from the beginning. THAT’S what really made me fall for the ship and for Levi.

Also, he thought that violence wasn’t the answer with Eren, and I guess I can excuse him for his behavior in Shiganshina because it was a charged challenge of sort for every character. But he really did think that nobody could make Eren submit with violence, yet he’s the one who tried to do exactly that as soon as they met again in ch.105. I was so disappointed that their relationship seemed to have regressed so much, I kept being hopeful only because of his face/words after the kick: he felt betrayed and saddened by Eren, so it meant he still cared deeply about him. And yeah, he does, but the reasons are also partially…bad. 

Don’t get me wrong, I believe he cares about Eren as a person, the boy he met and decided to protect all those years ago, but now saving Eren has become deeply intertwined with saving his last remaining goal: making it up to the dead soldiers (and I’ve already explained why I think it’s not a “positive” goal). And it’s unfair and a skewed view, imo, because Eren really didn’t have much to do with every single death. But I think it’s Levi being desperate about it all, he clings to it or he’d lose it if he had to, um, reconsider his current mindset. He’s like…grasping at straws, I feel. Like he was doing with Erwin when Erwin revealed his true colors. Levi ended up reconsidering his own ideals and goals, back then, but in a bad way (he had no goals of his own, he just blindly followed Erwin, who cares about humanity, right? Even though he seemed to care oh so much before).

I guess it’s the downfall of the “Hero”. @/Isayama, was this necessary? Is this entertaining? I am personally not a fan of this, there were so many ways to challenge Levi’s belief & trust in Eren, and to still have Levi be an active player. This just feels like a cheap way to get him out of the picture and turn him into a really secondary character. He doesn’t feel like a main player in this arc.

So long story short, I’m very disappointed in his development. I was willing to go along with it in the hopes that it would be leading us to something very interesting and it seemed it could go into a good direction as I stated here. But when he seemed to be confirmed basically dead (literally, or anyway when it comes to his importance in current events), I’ve kind of lost all hope in regards to his character, and I felt so done about it. He is either gonna stay this way, or there’s gonna be some small, cheap, background-ish closure (though atm I fail to see how, seeing as the story is about to end) and if that’s the case, I fail to comprehend the purpose of his arc, then. I don’t think his is an unreasonable development, I just fail to see how the direction Isayama has decided to “develop” him in has any relevance to the story and its themes, as he used to be a major player with some good-ass, relevant presence in the story. As I said in some posts I linked above, Isayama may have lost motivation to develop Levi any further and dropped it from the “main players” roaster, probably when he decided to change Levi’s motivations halfway through the story (because yes, the problems I have with Levi started towards the end of Uprising).

I used to be a great Levi fan, if my username and icon are anything to go by, and I still like him when I reread some parts as I stated elsewhere, because I really, really love when he interacts with the 104th or like, with his subordinates or even Hange. It’s fun to watch and even cute, when he’s not being a violent arsehole. So it’s really a shame that it’s come to this.

And yeah, I’m sure some people may have noticed already, but the ereri content on my blog has become quite scarce, S3 and the shitfest that went down there in regards to Eren&Levi parts also dampened my hype for the ship, my dissatisfaction with Levi’s character and the way his interactions (or lack thereof) with Eren went recently just pissed me off. But I loved this ship for like 5 years, I’m attached to it, and I am capable of separating the good parts of it from the bad ones (though it’s become increasingly difficult). And most importantly, I still love the way their canon relationship was developed up until before the serum bowl. Almost nothing has happened with them since then, so that’s why I was still really hyped for the next 2 years, but recently, and with Levi’s return, I’ve just grown more frustrated and bored with it.

After all, I fell in love with the romantic fanon ship BECAUSE the canon relationship was so interesting, had potential, and seemed to be going some incredibly cool directions, as both the characters seemed to be similar, had the same goals and understood each other on a basic level. It turned out to be almost nothing in the end, but alas.

So, how can I ship them if I don’t like one of them?

I still like Levi, especially when I reread the early arcs. This doesn’t mean I have to accept the worst sides of him that have apparently taken over his whole personality. His violence ISN’T a flaw I - or anyone, imo - should accept. Snoring IS a flaw we can/have to accept if we love someone. Violence is something that must be overcome. My annoyance with people implying they are better fans because they accept and embrace and excuse him and his violence, compared to those who don’t like that, is also a factor in my frustration. Understanding why exactly he’s the way he is is part of being a fan of a character, wishing for him to become a better person and ultimately letting go of toxic (yeah) acquired behaviors, imo, is better than defending and hyping them up. Some people even LOVE and WISH that violence will be his downfall because it’s violence for the sake of avenging [redacted] so it’s sooo romantic. lmao, ok. And I won't even get started about the ones who SERIOUSLY say that adult characters don't need to change, because I'm gonna start laughing for 3 hours straight. Dudes, there's not an age where you stop changing. If you stop trying bettering yourself at age XX, then I already know you're a shitty adult irl, goodbye.

Anyways, back on track. As I said in another post I may have linked above, I thought his encounter and resolution with Kenny would have amounted to something in this regards, since Levi used violence to get acknowledgment and to feel like he was “worth” something, imo, but it was only a set up for serumbowl. Wasted chance.

And I get it that violence is the way he was taught to deal with things, but 20 years have passed since then and he had a whole character arc in Uprising about opening up, trusting, feeling trusted in return, and feeling good and grateful and happy about that BECAUSE he was open with his squad and learned that it was better to use words rather than fists. So I thought he had grown out of it at least a bit. But I mean, there are other characters who have regressed or haven’t changed at all after their supposed character arc, and that dampened to a great degree the enjoyment of such characters for me (Historia, Ymir, Reiner), so whatever I guess? I can definitely see it’s something of a “cruel” way of storytelling Isayama really seems to like, maybe because he wants the characters to suffer. I guess you can’t have a story if all of your characters become better people and overcome their flaws…well, actually you can, but I guess Isayama doesn’t want this to be that kind of story.

But anyway, just to be clear, it also ties in with wanting the characters you love to better themselves and let go of things that ruin their lives or that have roots in trauma. Wouldn’t you want that for someone you love, even and especially in real life? So, if his violent tendencies have been portrayed as “wrong”, Bad Coping Mechanisms, and rooted in childhood trauma, why is it so frowned upon in this goddamn fandom to wish for him to let go of them, since it’s something that has caused him and characters around him pain or distress or downright failure. Overcoming these flaws would mean he’d feel better about himself, and others, and his past, etc. Why is it SO wrong to wish him the best? Lmao, I don’t get it.

So when his “real fans” be like “Levi’s violence is a part of him, you don’t love him for real if you can’t accept that part. anyway he’s perfect the way he is”, I’m like…that’s actually bullshit. I just want him to be a better person, just like I wanted to be a better person when I had detrimental (for me and for the people close to me) behaviors due to mental health stuff.

It’s not even on the same level of wanting him to stop being rude, that’s part of his charm. Violence…is not a cool personality trait, and it’s something you should want him to get over.

–

I still love lots of things that were shown in the manga in regards to Eren and Levi, so I don’t get why I should justify myself for liking them together just because I don’t like some parts of one of them. I still think some of Levi’s best personality traits came out when he interacted with Eren, and I like the Levi who cares about Eren the most. Hence why I ship the goddamn ship. That’s all there is to it, really. Here I talked about what I loved about their relationship, though now I feel like a bit of a hopeful fool.

[hoopdiddies]

I'm Not Over You // Ben Hardy x Reader (Part 4)

A/N: I was on vacay for a while and I had a hard time thinking the plot through but this could work. If you want to be tagged, just ask me uwu

Summary (for the entire series Ofc) : You had always loved Ben ever since you two met in university and became the best of friends. That feeling went out like a candle flame when the two of you parted ways until he re-entered your life...but this time with someone who has already occupied his heart.

Word count: 2148

Tags: None

Warnings: Mentions of drinking. And some angst, yet again *sigh*

Part 3

Part 2

Part 1

Parallel to the nature of the grimace present on your face shrouded by the umbra of the umbrella, the thunderclouds become bleaker and unwelcoming, complimenting the harsh pour of the rain on the city. In your mind, it could just get worse.

You tighten your grasp on the stem of your umbrella, the pressure of your grip making the veins in your wrist visible. To think you were enthused to spill the news to him, only to end up feigning the real one because you couldn't bring yourself to accept what must be.

You know he loves you, he loves you so much. He tells you 24/7. But that love is purely limited to hugs, small arguments, spontaneous fits of laughter, gentle pats on the back and forehead kisses. Compared to the almost spiritual connection he has with his fiancee. You've known and been around him longer than you could remember and yet, you're always several steps behind.

Well how else does platonic love compare to something romantic and sexual?

You stop in your tracks just half way through the wet sidewalk and stare at your reflection on a puddle beneath you. The tears dripping from your cheeks making bigger ripples on the puddle in contrast to the ones made by the rain. You sniffle, wiping your eyes quickly with your sleeve.

You hear a faint ring from your pocket and pull out your phone, seeing Lucy's name flash on the screen. You swipe the answer button and go on walking along the moist pavements.

"Hey Luce!" You blurt to hide the cracks in your voice.

"Y/N! Where are you right now? I just got back from a photoshoot and I want to hang out with you!" She giggles through the line and you keep your eyes ahead.

"Well I'm walking back home-"

"In the rain? You could get sick!"

"Lucy, relax. I'm covered up."

She sighs in relief, chuckling at her little mistake. "Sorry there. But mind if I stop by at your place?"

You don't think twice before answering, feeling the need to have some company. "Of course. Hurry up, I'm almost home." You aren't though, you're a dozen blocks away from your destination but you kind of want her to be there just in time for you to...vent.

You hear an audible slam echo from the line, almost coming off as a car door slammed close. "I'm on the road, I'll see you, Y/N!" You hum in response, your mouth curving slightly to the side. "You too, Lucy. Drive safely."

She bids you adieu for the meantime and you pick up your pace along the streets, careful not to glide recklessly over moist surfaces. The rain is not going to lighten very soon, you're sure of it.

As soon as you step foot into your living room after drying off, you are welcomed by a laid-back version of Lucy seated on the couch with a can of Mountain Dew in hand. You chuckle softly at how mellow she's positioned during such a weather, even more so at her choice of beverage.

"You're late." She shakes her head at you, pretending to be upset.

You shrug out of your coat and drape it over your shoulder, trudging to her and crouching down to hug her. "I am so sorry I left almost too quickly last night though."

She pats your back, letting a 'tsk' slip past her lips. "You are lucky Gwilym was there to accompany me."

"Hmm, he's not mad at Joe and me, is he? " Pulling away, you joke a little to cheer yourself up.

"No," she takes a sip of her can and puts it on the table, "in fact he's furious." This could be a little enlightening, a chat with Lucy to shed a beam of light on your mood. You take a seat next to her and begin your conversation. It's not much except that it's full of what happened at her photoshoot, the promotions she is required to attend, a few people she's had a little beef with and apparently her planned getaway with Rami to France. The topic is almost unilateral but you always take genuine interest in everything she says. Notwithstanding the fact that she constantly groans at the mention of the situations she underwent, you both still take a laugh out of it.

It's Lucy, she's a fascinating person with a fascinating life. You sometimes even wish you had her glam and eye for fashion.

She moves a lock of her blonde hair away from her forehead and looks at you curiosly. "Okay enough about me, what went on with you this week?"

You shrug, in an attempt to recall anything at all. "Not much. New Year's was a blast and last night's party was another thing," you turn your glance to your shoes, a frail smirk ghosting on your lips, eventually turning into a hopeful beam as your acceptance into the medical school flashes in your mind, "and... I got accepted into the medical school I applied for."

Lucy's eyes snap wide open at the news. "Shut up," she grabs you by the shoulders and gapes at you with eyes sparkling like they just found a heap of treasure, "you applied for medical school?" The slight disbelief and utter amazement can never be any clearer in her voice.

You nod happily and without warning, Lucy pulls you in for a tight hug, squealing at your success. "Oh my god, that's amazing! When did you get the letter? Have you told anyone?"

"I was sent an email from the institution this morning and told my parents and Joe about it soon after."

Lucy shifts on the couch, sliding her hands over her lap. "Which medical school though?"

"It's outside the country."

"Have you told Ben? "

With her question still hanging in thin air, you pause for a while before turning your head to her, shaking it slowly.

"Why?"

You stand up and head for the kitchen to grab a glass of water, your action confusing Lucy. "Y/N, are you okay?" She asks and you return on cue with your glass in hand. You let out a soft exhale and descend onto the couch. "I just...dont want to make him worry."

"Worry and Ben aren't exactly two words that mingle well. Solely in the context of a great news such as your acceptance."

"Of course, but I don't know how long I'll be gone." You notice your voice dwindle down to a whisper with the cast of your gaze to the side. The look on your face is deciphered by Lucy who's somehow adept at reading expressions, the blank that is your face making it easier for her.

And she suddenly knows what those furrowed brows mean. "There's something you're not telling me, Y/N. Just say it. I mean...even if you don't say it, I already hinted at it." She slides a hand over yours and you slowly turn to her, your expression becoming mildly stark. Of course she'd have a guess and it's only fair that she knows, she could help you get over it.

Your lips part but quiver as you try to find the right words. "I love him."

Lucy's gentle hold turns into a light squeeze, an indication of her comforting you. Her lips curve into a tender yet sad smile as she draws you in close again.

No matter how hard you're trying to let the tears fall, it just doesn't. It hurts but your tears aren't present to highlight that churning burn. Against all the odds to have them resurface in your eyes, you dip your head onto her shoulder and just squeeze your eyes shut. You mumble languidly on how it was an impulse to lie about your acceptance to Ben after he had broken the news about his engagement to you and soon after you had the thought that he would slowly forget about you once he and Rosy marry, and that your friendship wouldn't matter in the long run. As the decision that it'd be best if you go without him knowing, thinking it would make it easier for you to move on.

Lucy clears your face of your hair strands, staring at this once hidden,broken side of you. "I'm so sorry. I know this might not change a thing but you must tell him. He would never forget you, you're like the first person on his mind when he needs someone to talk to."

"Rosy's his life-"

"Y/N, don't demote yourself to a third party. You're more than what she is in his life," a brief pause from Lucy followed by a heartwarming emphasis, "you're his soulmate."

That word always meant something different to you. It involved a deep,romantic relationship but with how Lucy uttered it, it now means something entirely new. But you can't bring yourself to believe it. It's not a concept that can suture the gaping cut left in you.

With the little emotional strength left in you, you smile, launching at her with another hug as a requital to her presence during a time as this.

"I know it hurts...but- bloody, that's what love does to everyone."

--- (Apparent time skip 👀)

Amidst the hectic schedule your job has burdened you with throughout another week, never once have you faltered in between. You've gotten tons of invites to get-togethers during your weekend from friends yet out of the fear of losing all concentration on your duties, you turned them down politely. The second week of a new year means a new batch of spine-cracking, workload for everyone with jobs.

You're doing all this to save up for med school and it's something you tend to prioritize first and foremost. And regarding med school, you are to leave a month before enrollment to ensure your documents are in tacked and get served first. Since a few days before first semester arrives, enrollees would be lining up from different backgrounds and classes would be heavily filled. You have weeks left before your departure...and still, you haven't told Ben the truth...or talked to him in days, at least. For all you know, he could be on a tour, at a conference, an awards ceremony that you don't know of- certainly not the Oscars since you've been told that it's scheduled on February. He's probably busy enough to have other things in mind.

You discard the distraction and go about your business in your work area, with the intention of letting it purposefully distract you.

Minutes close to your dismissal, one of your co-workers strut in to invite you to have a drink with them. You could do no more than turn her down politely but with regards to the strain you've put yourself in with work, she insists and demands that you don't hesitate.

"But-" You try to protest, only to fail as she cuts you off. "I beg of you. Just for tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Yes."

You lightly clap your hands on the desk, springing from your chair with your head lightly tilted to one side. You turn your head to the wall clock on your far left and bob your head. "Do we leave now?"

"Most certainly. Come on!"

You haven't sped out of the building that fast with your colleagues before, not that it's not the first time but it certainly feels like it with how relieved you feel to go out. You needed a distraction from your personal ordeal and you got it, in the form of a night out for a drink.

You hit the pub that's just right across the street for the sake of convenience, half expecting your night to turn out eventful. A light buzz from your pocket stops you halfway into the entrance and slightly indisposed, you fish your phone out from your pocket, holding up your index finger at one of your colleagues to take the message you've received. They stride in ahead of you as you read the message, a little surprised to know Joe's back in London in the favor of Lucy who had asked him to come back. He's asked you out for a dinner with his friend but you tell him you're out for a drink with your colleagues, to which he replies with, "Mind if we join you then?"

And of course, you invite him over. Traipsing through the near rayless place to find your friends, hilariously realizing you're walking to the beat of the music coming from the speakers, you do a double-take at the table to your near left, quickly covering your face and speeding away to continue your search as the sight of Ben with his mates and Rosy ruins the first half of your evening.

What a distraction from a distraction.