#this kid is collecting parental figures like pokemon cards wow

[hoperays-song]

Currently in a HUGE mood for Clay stuff, so how about some Clay Calloway headcanons? Bonus points if it includes Ash

(Yes I did finally watch the full movie for the first time in months, why do you ask)

Yay!! Absolutely, I hope you enjoy!

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Assorted Clay Calloway Headcanons:

He was born and raised in southern Louisiana.

His favourite color is navy blue and forest green depending on when you ask him (he gives everyone a different answer).

Being a huge prankster his whole life, he did get in trouble a lot when he was younger for said pranks.

He competes occasionally in a paintball league in Redshore under the name Ray Malloway (yes they all know it’s him, they’re just not paid enough to rat him out).

Clay’s a really good chef and cooks a lot of cajun and family recipes.

His love languages are gift giving and acts of service, so he will cook for people he cares about.

He sees Ash as a daughter and treats her like such, but will never admit it to her face.

On holidays, he sets out an extra plate in honor of his late wife.

Out of the troupe and their family members, he hangs out with Nana (they had run into each during their youth a few times since they were celebrities) and Marcus (he can relate the most to losing a spouse and can fix his bike for cheap). 

He used to call his wife Rose/Rosey after her favourite flowers.

Clay identifies as a bisexual trans man and was one of the most popular LGBTQIA+ celebrities in the 80s-90s.

He has all of his old stage costumes hidden in a box in his closet. Ash likes to tease him about some of them along with his mohawk phase. He does not appreciate all the photos of both of those things she keeps finding on the internet.

He can speak Louisiana Creole and English fluently, as well as Maori, his wife’s first language.

He will race Ash on their motorcycles whenever there’s free time, as well as taking her to paintball with him.

He’s the worst prankster on staff, constantly messing with the others and always getting away with it since Buster doesn’t believe the kids when they say it was him.

His favourite hobby is gardening and he spends a lot of his free time tending to his flower and herb gardens.

Clay’s favourite food is fried okra with spicy ranch sauce for dipping.

He honestly would have adopted Ash if Buster hadn’t the year before ,but he has taken over the role of her mentor from Nana, and she now is the only person in the world who can actually list themself as Clay Calloway’s protogé.

Clay proposed to his wife with a song.

He got the scars on his nose as a young musician, when he got into a fight with a group of people who were messing with a kid at one of his shows.

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Hope you enjoyed! I’ll send you more later more than likely! <3<3<3 

- <3 Gooseless

[purplesurveys]

345

Were you happy or sad when you found out your babysitter was coming? I never had a babysitter. I was the babysitter for all my younger cousins, since I was one of the eldest. Did you have a boyfriend in kindergarten? No...I went to an all-girls’ school. I wasn’t in any type of relationship until I turned 16 either. Did you ever play hopscotch at school? Yessssss every dismissal time. While waiting for the school bus to pick up the second round of students (me included) to take home, I would play hopscotch. I’d steal chalk from the classroom and doodle on the bus area. Did you refuse to eat your vegetables? I hated vegetabls and always failed to put them to the side, because my aunt would just place them back in the rice when she fed me. What did you usually dress up as on Halloween? The stereotypical ones. Pirate, scary masks, princess, mermaid, etc.

What was your favorite television show? I had tons, but my heart belonged to Hi-5. I had all the Barney CDs too. When I grew up a little, I started to like shows I was definitely too young for at the time, like Zoey 101, Lizzie McGuire, and Drake and Josh.  Did you have D.E.A.R. time in school? (Drop Everything and Read) Yes. I had always thought it was tradition only in my school. It’s so comforting that a lot of other people could relate whenever DEAR time is mentioned. Did you ever read the 'Magic Treehouse' series? Nope. I was into other books. How about the 'Bailey School Kids' series? No. The covers never looked all that appealing to me. Do you remember the first movie you ever saw in theaters? Stuart Little 2. Who was your best friend in elementary school? I was a shy kid growing up, and my friends fluctuated over those years. But Angela was my close friend all throughout, even though she was way more social and acquired way more friends than I did, and easily. Did they continue to be your best friend in middle school? Yes. But like I said, she was social and had other friends she put her focus on. Eventually she found her friend group. For a time I was alone and did everything alone, but I knew when worse came to worst I always had her to fall back on. Did you ever watch 'The Land Before Time' movies? I don’t think so. Did you ever watch the show 'Arthur'? Nah, I don’t think that ever aired here. Did the tooth fairy give you a lot of money? My mom was a complete killjoy and never played with the idea. I always woke up with just my tooth under my pillow. If I learned one thing from that whole ordeal it’s that my kids are never going through the same thing. How often did you visit your nearest grandparents? I lived with them. That’s how often. Did you ever play with 'Little People' toys? Doubt it. How about Polly Pockets? Yes. Did you collect anything when you were a kid? Yeah, Pokemon cards and Pogs. Did you get an allowance? Not in grade school, because my grandmother gave me packed recess and lunch instead. What was your favorite sport to play? What is it now? I didn’t have a sport in my early childhood, but I got into track when I got a little older. I’m into table tennis now. What foods did you not like then that you do like now? Vegetables are definitely the plot twist of my life, food-wise. So is curry. I used to dread my grandmother’s curry; now I just want her to make it all the time. Were you into American Girl dolls? I don’t think so. I hated dolls growing up and always just wanted to play with my cousin’s soldier figurines and Star Wars toys. What was your first pet and what did you name it? It was most likely a goldfish named Goldy because even as a kid I lacked all the creativity in the world. Did you ever read the 'Junie B. Jones' books? Nope. There were other books I was more interested in. What did you want to be when you were a kid? It evolved from an astronaut to a vet to a firefighter to a writer. What was your first word? Your first sentence? (If you remember) Why would you think I remember that? Haha anyway my parents didn’t care enough to document it, so I have no idea what my first anything was. Have you moved into a new house since you were a kid? Yup. Do you live in a new state? We don’t refer to it as states, but yeah I’ve since moved to a new region. It’s not that big a distance, since I just moved to the region right next to where I was born in. Were you friends with your neighbors? In my old house, yes. That was when playing outside was a thing so I definitely made friends with a lot of kids. Did you enjoy exploring your backyard? We didn’t have a backyard, but we did have a small garden that we liked to play tag and hide-and-seek in, yes. Did you bake cookies with your grandparents? Yes. When I got a little older though, say 10, I gradually stepped out of the kitchen and let my aunt make it since I had less and less time for baking. What was your biggest fear when you were a kid? Flying cockroaches since our old house had those every night. Cockroaches in general are still my biggest fear to this day. Who did you look up to most? I had such a bland childhood that there wasn’t any figure I admired other than the original Hi-5 cast. Did you ever play the 'Reader Rabbit' computer games? I have never heard of that before. Did you have a swing set in your backyard? We didn’t. They did have a playground at my second cousins’ house, which I was often at. At our own place we had a slide, but not a swingset. How about a sandbox? No, but same situation as above, I always went to my cousins’ house to play in their playground and sandbox. Sandboxes were always my favorite part of a playground since a) no one ever hung out there, and b) I liked the texture. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? I never learned how to ride a bike :-) Did you ever spy on your neighbors through the window? HAHAHAH YEAH. The windows in my grandparents’ room had a complete view of what was going on next door, which was made easier since the neighbors didn’t have a curtain. They made a lot of noise sometimes so when I heard them kind of yelling, I’d hop up on the bed and take a peek. Were you a teacher's pet in kindergarten? No. I barely talked. The only reason I caused so much trouble was because my shyness led me to pee myself every single day. Did you ever build a treehouse or a fort in your yard? Nah. Did you ever find anything interesting in your yard? I don’t think so, no. Did you ever have 'themed birthdays'? No. I had a big birthday party once but it was super grand, almost like a debut. Not really themed. Did your parents let you drink soda? I know they would have, I just hated soda so I never drank. Did you ever watch 'The Powerpuff Girls' or 'Dexter's Laboratory'? Yes. I preferred Powerpuff Girls. Did you sleep with a blanket or stuffed animal? Nope, I had a security pillow though. Did you ever have a night light? For the first half of my childhood I slept with my parents, so I didn’t need the night light. Then I started sleeping all by my own and at the start, I did have my own light. I stopped using one when I turned...15? 16? I don’t really remember. Did you watch 'Winnie the Pooh'? I read Winnie the Pooh books, but I don’t think I ever watched anything of it. Did you ever have an imaginary friend? What was their name? Yeah, Katrina. Lasted for like 20 minutes. What kinds of games did you play with your friends during Recess? There was dodgeball, tug-of-war (in which the rope was an actual human being with arms being pulled left and right), hopscotch (which we call piko), garter games, and local games like langit-lupa and patintero. Did you dream of being a princess or did you not really care about that? I never cared about that. I just wanted to go to space. Did you have a special name for your pacifier? What was it? Wow no hahahahaha I never used a pacifier beyond a year old. Did you watch 'Blues Clues'? It was one of my favorites. What kind of car did your parents have? I don’t really recall anymore. Did you ever flush anything down the toilet by mistake? Doubt it. If I did, my mom would have never lived it down. Were you afraid to sleep by yourself? Not really. What was your favorite subject in elementary school? English. How often did you go to the park? Parks have never been a priority in this country, so it isn’t really the place to hang out. What was your favorite kind of cake as a kid? There was this cake my mom used to buy for me; it was this really gooey chocolate cake with white chocolate shavings all over it. She bought it like four times throughout my 20-year life but I never forgot about it. Did you ever want to grow up? Yes. In a house with two raging alcoholics and other relatives who didn’t help the situation, trust me; all I wanted to do was to grow up.

[unseenthewriter]

CHAPTER 4: KINGS AND QUEENS

Chapter 4: 2874 Words

Fic Total: 11088 Words

Series Total: 11088 Words

I was going through the contents of a box I had brought up from the trunk of my car. Most of it was unimportant. My Pokemon card collection, some video games, a book, or two. But the thing I was looking for was at the bottom. A photo album.

I pulled it out of the box and sat down on the bed. My Mom put this together maybe a year after I came out of the closet? She thought that even though yes I was 100% a boy. I should never forget where I came from because that's what has made me who I am today. I skipped past the baby and toddler pictures to the Gymnastics ones. My fingers stopped on a picture of me and my Mom after my first ever meet. I didn't place that meet but she was still so proud and I was just ecstatic being there at all. God, I miss that. Life was so much simpler back then.

I raised my head and blinked away the few tears that had slipped. My head froze on House in the doorway of the room.

We both stared at each other. Both not wanting to confront the fact that I was crying seconds before.

"Need something?" I finally spoke up.

 House walked into the room. "Wilson said I should apologize." House complained.

"Are you?" I asked.

"No." He responded.

I smirked a little at that. Of course, he wouldn't apologize. House was now going through my box. "Why is the disk for Elder Scrolls Oblivion missing?" He asked, holding up the empty box.

"Ugh, Dunc you ASS." I grumbled and got up to grab my cell phone. I texted him a colorful text about stealing my game.

House looked amused. "Same Dunc from the hospital?" He asked.

"Yeah the deal was once I told Wilson about being Trans he'd give it back." I huffed.

A text beeped back.

I'm enjoying it and you don't even have an Xbox 360 right now! Besides, it's an excuse for you to finally come over to my place.

"He holds your things hostage?" House asked.

"Yeah yeah. He held my Spider-Man cosplay hostage so I'd tell you about being Trans." I rambled while texting Dunc back.

"Cosplay?" House said, pointing out my slip up. He was looking at the photo album now though.

"Not. Important." I said and tried to get the album back but House held it out of my reach.

"The little tike you?" He asked.

"Obviously." I said.

"Who's this woman?" House asked and pointed out…

Her.

"Basically Satan." I said and took the photo album back.

"Seemed like you were pretty close with Satan." House said.

"Dr. King. She was my Step-Mother until I was around 12." I huffed and crossed my arms.

"Step-Mother? Your Mother was-" House started.

"She was Bisexual yes." I said.

"You had two Mom's." He said.

"For a short period. It doesn’t matter." I said. That's actually a lie. She was my Step-Mother for almost 8 years. A little less than half of my life.

"There's quite a lot of pictures with her." House pointed out.

"She doesn't matter!" I snapped.

House was taken aback by that. Which is honestly a little surprising because he's been pushing just the right buttons lately.

I sighed. "Look whatever. You can ask me whatever about my life just- Dr. King is where I draw the line." I said.

I hadn't noticed Wilson watching us. I assume he made his way up here after my uh… outburst.

I grabbed the Elder Scrolls Oblivion box and pushed my way past Wilson. I need time alone.

~~~

I squinted at the side of Duncan's house. It's really fancy. He's even richer than I thought. I was able to fairly easily make my way up to the window of Duncan's room. Wow, it's big. I tapped on the glass.

Dunc turned his head around to see me. His brow furrowed as he let me inside. "You could've knocked on the front door." 

"Yeah well your parents are in town and I'm really not in the mood to meet them." I said after readjusting my clothes.

"You know when I said I wanted you to come over soon I wasn't expecting tonight." Dunc said with his arms crossed.

I sighed. "Look I just really need a distraction." I admitted.

"Okay. Halo 3?" He suggested.

"Yeah sure. You know I'm bad at FPS games though." I said smiling slightly.

"Oh. I know." Dunc mocked.

"Hey!" I protested as I caught the controller Duncan threw me.

A few hours later Duncan finally commented on my vibrating phone. "House?" He asked as I once again let it go to voicemail.

"God no. Wilson." I said and grabbed another handful of popcorn from the bowl Dunc was holding.

"You should probably text him to let him know you're still alive. Wilson might panic and call the cops." Dunc half-joked.

I sighed and tore my eyes away from the Iron Man movie we were currently watching. "Probably should." I grumbled and sent the text.

Duncan snatched the phone from my hands once it got a reply from Wilson. "Stay safe and let me know if you're staying somewhere else for the night. Awww he cares." Dunc said.

I took the phone back. "He shouldn't." I grumbled.

"I mean if him and House are engaged he's basically your Step-Father. I mean same-sex marriage isn't legal yet in New Jersey so if it was he might actually be." Duncan pointed out.

I blinked. "Never thought of that." I said with my voice raised an octave.

"Surprised you haven't. You're always overthinking everything." Dunc said with a shrug. "Any way you basically got permission to stay over and as long as you leave before 6 AM you won't run into my parents."

I thought for a moment. "Ah sure what the hell. This is one of my favorite movies." I said and unpaused Iron Man.

~~~

The next few days went by with me and House not really talking and Wilson not really sure how to fix it.

I wasn't really paying too much attention when I was leaving Rosie's room. I was thinking about one of my classes. I bumped into someone.

"Ah sorry about that I-" I started but froze when I looked up at who I was speaking to. Dr. King.

She looked as impeccable as ever. One thing I learned after living with this woman for years was that the most important thing to her was how she was perceived by others.

"Who are you?" She asked.

Oh, she doesn't recognize me. On one hand, I'm glad but… "Just a volunteer." I responded.

"Oh. Are you the Spider-Man Rosie won't shut up about?" Dr. King asked. She didn't roll her eyes but she looked like she was about to.

I nodded.

I hadn't noticed Wilson until he spoke. "I see you've met Jay." He said to Dr. King.

Hearing my name must've finally jogged her memory. "Little Blue Jay?" She asked her normally unwavering expression faulted.

Oh, how I wanted to just bolt down the hallway. I should've put two and two together. Of course, little Rosie King was related to Dr. Rose King. It's obvious. I just hoped Dr. King wasn't in New Jersey I guess. "Been a while, ma'am."

"You trying to look like a boy?" She asked.

"Yes." I replied.

"How's your Mother." She asked.

"Dead." I said flatly.

Dr. King paused for a second at that. She must've not known. Surprisingly really seeing how close she was with my Mom. "Who are you living with?"

"My Father." I said.

"Your Father?" She said.

"Yes." I said.

We stood there for a moment. No one speaking.

"I'll be seeing my daughter now." Dr. King said before walking in the room.

"You know her?" Wilson asked.

I sighed. "Former Step-Mother." I said before walking off.

Wilson just stood there in shock.

~~~

I had hoped scaling the side of the house to get to my room would avoid any conversations about Dr. King but House was lying on my bed reading my Good Omens book. Wilson was awkwardly leaning against the door to the closet.

"Told you." House said shutting the book.

I sighed while climbing the rest of the way through the window. "How'd you know?" I asked.

"Your avoidance of any type of confrontation is extremely obvious. Even Wilson noticed." House replied.

He's right of course. Me being a former gymnast makes it pretty clear that I'd be able get through the second-story window. Wouldn't be too hard to figure out my plan. "Ask away." I said.

"Last I heard gay marriage was still illegal in Minnesota so unless-" House started but I cut him off.

"Never legally married. There was talk about moving to a state where it was legal but that never got off the ground." I said.

"Did Dr. King adopt you?" Wilson asked.

"No. At the time my Mom was pretty upset but it turned out…" I trailed off.

Did it turn out better this way? I mean if Dr. King had adopted me I wouldn't have even had the urgency to find out that House was my Father but…

"Did you call her Ma, Mum, or something else?" House asked, interrupting my train of thought.

"Uh, Rose. Just called her Rose growing up." I said.

"What er… happened?" Wilson asked.

I shuffled anxiously on the balls of my feet. "She killed my Uncle." I finally answered.

"Killed?" Wilson sputtered.

"Uncle?" House asked.

Sometimes I forget that I'm the product of a one night stand. My Uncle's existence was probably never a topic of conversation between my Mom and House. Although thinking about it now it's a bit of a surprise it wasn't.

"Connor Flynn-" I started.

"The actor?" Wilson asked.

House turned to face Wilson. "Musicals." Wilson shrugged.

House's face scrunched up a little at that.

"Yes." I confirmed.

"He died in a plane crash I thought? Flying it and everything." Wilson said.

"He did but he wasn't flying at the time of the crash." I said. My eyes staring at the carpet.

"Cover-up?" House asked.

"Yeah. My Mom couldn't get over it. Dr. King always put her public perception before anything else." I muttered.

"Why throw away everything for the truth." House said.

I glared at him.

"Oh. You're not over it either." House figured out.

"I saw the whole thing. She was never supposed to pilot that day. Dr. King always gets what she wants though." I scowled. 

Even as a kid part of me always knew that Dr. Rose King was going to let me down someday. But because my Mom trusted her I did too. Never should've let her in. I've always had this acute sense for people I should avoid. Maybe it's because I'm a pretty perceptive person and I would notice things subconsciously that I would really not know what they fully meant. I doubt I'll ever know for sure.

House and Wilson eventually left me alone with my thoughts.

~~~

After trying to fall asleep for a few hours I gave up and went out to the living room where I was now watching Forensics Files on low volume. My Mom had banned me from this whole channel as a kid because it's not exactly appropriate to have a kid watching true crime shows all the time. Shows with veterinarian surgeries on-screen were totally fine though. But when something is banned it makes it all the more appealing. It was either this or Scooby-Doo that I'd watch as a kid when Mom wasn't around or asleep.

I shivered a little from the ice cream I was also eating. I wasn't even that hungry but this and Forensics Files was keeping my mind off of the crashes.

A blanket was suddenly dropped on me. I looked up.

"You know that's Wilson's ice cream." House said before making his way to the couch.

"I'll pay him back." I mumbled.

"Don't. He'll just assume it was me anyway." House said. That's when I noticed House was eating out of another ice cream carton of the same flavor.

"Can't sleep?" House asked.

"Insomnia. I've been off my sleep meds for a while." I said while watching the crime dramatization.

"And you think watching murders will help?" House joked.

"Keeping my mind off of things." I muttered.

"Like what? You're 16." House said.

I stared at the TV for a while. Not really watching it, just seeing it as flashing colors. "I have a fear of motorcycles." I said.

"What does the fact that you walk past my motorcycle every day keep you up at night?" House mocked.

"Nevermind." I grumbled. Maybe one day I'll open up about what happened that night but not now. Not yet.

After the episode ended House switched to a different channel but I didn't really care. I stopped watching a while back. I was just zoned out.

I wouldn't find out until Christmas time but at some point in the morning, Wilson snapped a photo of the two of us asleep on the couch.

~~~

"Your Father is Dr. House?" King asked.

"Medium white chocolate hot chocolate." I said to the barista and got out my wallet.

"I'll pay." King said.

"No." I replied and swiped my card. I gave a polite smile to the barista and stepped aside. "Yes, Dr. House is my Father."

"He doesn't seem like the type of guy to-" She started.

"What take me in? I'm 16 I'll be out of his way in 2 years and besides, you didn't seem like the type of person to kill my Uncle but here we are." I snapped.

We moved to a table with our drinks. "That was an accident." King hissed.

"That would've never happened if you didn't fly the freaking plane." I hissed back and then took a sip of my hot chocolate. A little too hot still.

We sat there for a while in silence. I kept trying the hot chocolate but it was still too hot. "What happened to Shannon?" King finally asked.

"Motorcycle accident." I mumbled.

King's eyes widened. "Were you driving?"

"No. Of course not. I was a passenger. She was just trying to help me get over my fear." I sighed and touched my right leg in reflex. It took so long for me to be able to get up the nerve to take that ride…

"Jay. Why didn't you reach out?" King asked.

I put my face in my hands. "Why didn't I reach out to the first person who betrayed my trust? Do you know how hard it is for me to open up to anyone? Yeah God, why didn't I? God Rose you're lucky I'm even saying anything to you." I ranted.

"Get over yourself." King said and left.

I tried my hot chocolate again. Now it's cold.

~~~

I paced around the roof of the hospital. Wilson is probably wondering where I am but I just can't volunteer today. God, I'm such a mess. Angry at Dr. King angry at life angry at my brain for not being able to get the images of my lifeless Mother out of my mind-

"It's getting cold." A voice said interrupting my thoughts and pacing.

House.

I really really don't need this right now. House sauntering in asking me a bunch of questions pissing me off making me-

"Kid." He said. That's when I noticed that he seemed to be leaning pretty heavily on his cane. Bad pain day?

"Right yeah." I mumbled and followed House back to his office. My brain was on autopilot. Too many emotions now I'm just shutting down.

House laid out in the chair near the door and I resumed pacing. If you could call it pacing at this short of a distance. "What happened?" House asked.

"Nothing new." I said.

"Then what old thing is bothering you?" House pressed while rubbing his leg.

I stopped pacing and took a breath. "I just- I never should've…" I tried to say what was on my mind but my throat kept closing up.

I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes to try and calm myself. Didn't work too well… "It's my fault she's dead." I said barely audible.

House stared at me for a second. "Why?" He asked.

I sighed. "When I was like 10 my Uncle Connor let me drive his motorcycle. I crashed and broke my leg. It was this whole thing."

"Obviously developed a fear of motorcycles. Before Connor died he was trying to get me to ride again. Get over my fear and all. Never could but uh my Mom finally convinced me recently and… Well, we crashed." I rambled.

She died pretty much instantly so I couldn't do anything but God I tried. I bit my lip and shook my head trying to get the images out of my mind.

House just sat there. Probably doesn't know what to say. I don't blame him. I wouldn't.

At that moment his team came in and interrupted us. After they all left I sighed. I guess it was nice to tell someone. Even if it was House.

AN: Ah yes you’ve unlocked some of Jay’s tragic backstory! Gosh I wrote this a while ago lol. House stop being so mean :(((

[speaknowslut13]

Hi honey bunches!

I really appreciate that! I’ve always kind of thought no kids/no marriage, and then I went through an identity crisis and finally came to terms with my sexuality in my early 20s and then I was like “yeah definitely no” haha. So many people are like “you’ll definitely change your mind” and I find it rather obnoxious. And while I’m pretty sure I don’t want biological children, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about becoming a foster parent, and would love to get to a place in my life where I could do that.

Feel free to talk about the complicated family situation if you want! (Or not, totally no pressure, but I definitely understand having a complicated family.) my parents also did a courthouse wedding and I honestly love their wedding photos, they’re so cute! Do you have any pictures of your dress that you can/want to share?

Gosh that sounds awful! I’m glad you were okay though. Out of my sibling/cousins (there’s 5 of us and all pretty close!) I’m actually the only one who *hasn’t* been in a major wreck. I still vividly remember getting a phone call from my sister after she rolled her pickup (she was thankfully okay, somehow walked away without a scratch even though the car was totaled, and this happened like one week after she’d gotten her drivers license.) but on to happier things!

I love that though, I think it’s so important to actually *like* your partner haha. What kind of video games do you like to play? And what’s your go to movie for movie night? And that’s literally the sweetest thing that you do his nails and makeup 🥺 how are things with the pandemic in your area?

Panic! puts on a great show, I saw them in Seattle during their death of a bachelor tour in 2017 and it was so much fun. I hope you get the chance to go! Who else is on your concert bucket list?

Omggg okay I will have to add Rijeka to my list of stops 👀 if everything goes according to plan, I want to do a road trip down the Croatian coast starting in Zagreb and ending up in Dubrovnik. My birthday is mid august, so it would be end of august to be a birthday trip! I love Munich, it’s only a couple hours from me by train so I’ve been there several times since I moved here! Because of travel restrictions, I haven’t been able to visit some of the places like Dachau yet, but I really want to. That history is heavy but so so important.

I adore the PNW, and I was originally planning on moving to Oregon for grad school before I ended up in Europe haha. I have a lot of good friends in that area and I can’t wait to be able to visit them in again! Where in Canada would you like to end up? The polar express thing sounds soso cool, honestly might book a seat for myself hahaha.

I think a lot of writing poetry is just accepting that a lot of it is going to be bad and then going from there haha. Like one of my professors told me, it’s always easier to work with something than it is with nothing so I have years and pages worth of bad poems and then some that I’ve turned into really good ones. Ohhh those all sound really interesting! I especially like the idea of a paranormal mystery. Do you have a particular tag that you post your writing under?

That sounds like an excellent weekend! What kind of project? And do you have your own pool or do you go somewhere? What a crazy coincidence for us to be paired together!! I actually didn’t start marching until college, my high school wasn’t big enough to have a marching band, just a pep band, and then I got involved with the music program for fun when I started college and ended up marching my sophomore through senior years. It was a lot of fun, but also a lot of hard work!! I can definitely understand how that could cause burn out. Mono sounds horrendous in the best case scenario, let alone what you were dealing with. Oh the EMT thing sounds like a cool program though!

Hahahaha yeah my sister is an amazing singer but it just missed me. I do perform well in the shower, when I’m out hiking in the woods, or alone in the car. Well I think you’d do well even without knowing everything single instrument ahdjshs i believe in you! ✨

Hope your week is off to a great start! 💖 Drew

Let's get the family stuff out of the way. Chase and I met in September of 2013, got engaged in January of 2014, and then married February of 2014. His brother was not pleased with that. There was a massive fight and its the only time I've seen Chase really truly angry. They were living together at the time and when we told him we decided to get engaged and that I was essentially moving in he flipped out. He was also drunk that night. We were excited, our parents were excited for us. We hadn't planned on getting married until May of 2015 but that didn't matter. He said some pretty horrendous things to Chase and then to my face. So Chase kind of snapped. After that, Chase wasn't sure he wanted to tell his family about the ceremony. He didn't want to rock the boat any more than he already did. My BIL moved out quickly after that fight. Chase and I always planned on having a ceremony with everyone later. That never worked out. Its something we regret, not inviting his parents. His Dad passed in 2016 after I found out I was pregnant. So he'll never get to have that. Even though we all moved past that, in that last year things have gotten tense between them again. I try not to get involved. My BIL eventually apologized and we all got really close especially when my FIL got sick. Even though we've both forgiven him, I don't know if Chase will ever really forget the hurt that situation caused me and him. It didn't stop us though. We knew our minds. We're both Taurus signs. So there really was no stopping us.

We didn't mean to get married on Valentines day. I had just been fired from Express for the stupidest reason, partly because of my relationship. We just decided on a Monday to get married that following Friday. When we went to get the license, that's when we realized it was going to be Valentines Day. We laughed pretty hard about it. We still do. I joke that because I always had such a rough time on Valentines Day, the universe made up for it.

Even though we jumped head first into commitment, we waited on expanding our family. And it wasn't an easy journey for us. Now, its a completely unrealistic option for me to carry another pregnancy. So, if we ever change our minds about having another kid, we'll adopt. I grew up with a messy extended family and so my tolerance for the behavior I've seen of late is non existent. I don't need that negativity. I don't have enough spoons! So, we keep our head down and mow our own lawn, so to speak.

I will make a post of pictures under my tag themodren . All of my personal posts are under that tag because I reblog a lot. However, the story excerpt is also under the tag brownandgreenandgold because it corrresponds to a poem I wrote. I'll put that one up for you too. Some of my other tags are: renreacts , folklorethemusical , and relativelyricalanalysis . I've started these tags hoping to follow up on them with more content but I haven't yet. You can find them all under themodren though. I'm trying to talk myself into sharing more.

Chase was really into WOW. I prefer games that are RPG in nature. I've played Castle Crashers, Baulder's gate, Torchlight, and currently Portal. I like Pokemon. Chase really grew up around video games. I didn't. He's so good at them. He's great at figuring out how things work whereas I'm the player that spins in circles.

I'd like to move to Vancouver or anywhere around that area. It looks so pretty.

The EMT program was amazing and I had a real knack for it. I was originally going to go pre-med. I wanted to be a Doctor. But I was thrown some curve balls and ended up in a Fashion Design program that no longer exists. Didn't finish that one either because I got pregnant and my postpartum period is where my autoimmune disease really jumped out. If I thought I could handle it, I'd go back and finish the nursing program I was going to go through, too. Or ideally I'd just go do pre-med again. Unfortunately I don't think that's in the cards. I'm still struggling to get my body under control and stress has a tendency to deplete my spoons quickly. The pandemic really hit me hard because I wanted to help but couldn't.

I try to focus on the good in my life. I try to remember to honor my limitations. I tell my husband that I feel like a ten cylinder engine that's being forced to only use four. It can be frustrating. So I laugh at myself and try to focus on other things. Like the recent succulent collection I've started. I might have a problem. We have a pool in our backyard. It was out of order until recently. I'm enjoying it a lot since that last few years I haven't been able to. Despite my struggles, my life is incredibly blessed. I always feel weird talking about the pain and disappointments of my life because I feel ungrateful.

The pandemic feels stale here. I'm sure the numbers are going down because there are so many people being vaccinated now, but unfortunately there is still too large a number of vaccine resistant or hesitant people. That frustrates me. Both my husband and I are vaccinated now, but we still wear our masks. We also avoid interacting with others outside our circle because our daughter hasn't been vaccinated yet. Hopefully come September that will change. Our state lifted mask mandates too soon, I think. We're a mostly republican state. I wish that didn't matter but it does. People are starting to act like the virus isn't still an issue even though it definitely is. Its been especially rough on my kid. She's been in virtual preschool for a year. She goes back in person in August, which I'm very nervous about. She has an IEP for speech therapy, so she needs to go, otherwise I'd find another solution. She doesn't get to go out much either. Its been tough on her. Her safety is of utmost importance though. I've heard too many horror stories of mom's acting like this virus isn't just as potentially life altering for children as it is for adults. At the beginning, parents were even hosting "covid parties" so all their kids would catch the virus. Horrified would be an understatement in describing my reaction to those articles.

The project is a memorial for my grandma. She passed recently. Its okay. She was old and we were expecting it.

Chase and I will watch things that we've wanted to watch for awhile. I haven't seen all the Marvel movies yet and there are a slew of older movies he's seen that he wants me to see. So, we typically pick something we haven't seen.

Lorde announced music today! So once she starts touring, I'd like to see her. Honestly, I'd like to see Twenty One Pilots. Halsey is another. I like Halsey. My best friend likes Marianas Trench, so it'd be fun to see them with her. If N'Sync ever toured again, I'd go see it. I would have loved to see Prince in concert. There's just so many different musicians I like that I'd love to see.

Are things getting any better where you're at, Drew? I hope your week goes well!