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Beetlejuice may canonically be a shapeshifter, but if he ever gets abs I will stab him.

"he would not fucking say that" but you ever be looking at fanart and suddenly its "he would not fucking have abs"

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The super bowl or whatever I'm not american

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Ah yes! I too have a fanfic cooking in my drafts-

I point to a stove covered in hundreds of pots, each one emitting a different stench. Many look like they’ve been abandoned for years.

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You'd think that when I imported one of my tumblr fics to Ao3, it would be a popular one.

Alas.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65992216

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The real princess was already assassinated three years ago. She was kind of a jerk, so no one who knows cares that much. Her mom didn’t even notice.

It’s kept secret to keep a marriage alliance with a different kingdom.

You're a royal attendant slowly realising that you've lost track of which of the young princess' numerous anti-assassination body doubles is the real one. The royal portraits are so idealised that they look nothing like her, so you can't figure it out that way, and the Queen is a shitty absentee mom who doesn't remember what her own daughter looks like and routinely gets them mixed up, so she'd be no help even if you dared to ask. None of them will break character. You're beginning to suspect they're doing this on purpose.

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Astrid is totally going to spray Beetlejuice with that water gun.

Beetlejuice: aw! Yuck! I already had my bath last month.

That, or she filled that squirt gun with Holy Water as a prank. Little does she know, it can dissolve almost anything in the Netherworld.

Astrid: why do I have to put on sunscreen, there isn’t even a sun down at Twilight Beach?

Lydia: it’s actually Son-screen, protecting you from rowdy boys. I got it from B’s parents.

Their beach day is going to be chaotic, of course…

Lydia: now what’s the number one rule about Twilight Beach?

Beetlejuice: Remember to eat a sandwich?

Lydia: No, it’s not to talk to the Sand Witch. How many times do I have to tell you?

Astrid: I’ll use my squirt gun to keep him away.

Lydia: if only I thought of that when I was your age…

who wants to go to da beach

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This appeared on my dash, and how could I ignore a request for cinema recommendations?

I actually can ignore a request for movie recommendations, but it seems like we have a lot of movie interests in common, so I’m gonna recommend stuff anyway!

More films that may interest you, and why:

Some Like it Hot: Two male jazz musicians hide from the mafia- by dressing in drag and joining an all-women’s jazz band. This film stars Maralin Monroe, and is one of the most queer-positive films I’ve seen coming from the 1950s. I was genuinely surprised. It’s hilarious.

Labyrinth: A teenage girl tries to win her baby brother back from a powerful Goblin King by running through a magical labyrinth. I reccomend Labyrinth to anyone that is in hearing range. It stars David Bowie, who performs multiple fabulous musical numbers. It was created by Jim Henson, with spectacular visuals and puppetry. It’s one of my favorite movies.

Little Shop of Horrors: A shy florist discovers a plant that can make his dreams come true- as long as he keeps feeding it blood. Based on a Broadway musical, this film is absolutely incredible. The gore is mild, I’d show this film to a ten year old without worry. It also contains fabulous puppetry. It’s humorous with excellent musical numbers.

The Birdcage: The gay owners of a gay nightclub meet their son’s fiancé and her family- who work in conservative politics. This drama-comedy stars Robin Williams and Nate Lang (who is Max in the Producers). It’s incredibly funny. The political aspect is mostly used for humor, and the drama in this movie comes from a couple who are very queer trying to fit in with people who are not queer.

Let me know if you watch any of these movies because of my stellar recommendations, or what you think of these movies, and whatnot. Alternately, you could tell me you’ve already seen all of these movies, and proceed to call me basic for only talking about American cinema.

Went to half price books, spent 15 dollars on movies

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is anyone else thinking about the moment Nick woke up completely made of tin? cause i am

(song is Vertigo from Look Outside)

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I’m going to go into my evil writer arc

I’m gonna post the chapter, while doubting if it’s good or not. Read my hand-made slop! It’s been rotting in my mind for years, and yet doesn’t have a fully flushed out plot. It’s got the pacing of falling for 500 feet, then slowly sinking in quicksand.

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The worst part about polling is that I’m rarely able to answer simple questions with simple answers. Hence why I wrote an entire essay about your question instead.

This post has some vague spoilers for Yellowjackets Season 1, but it’s honestly so vague I’d struggle to call it a spoiler. I list a few examples of media where people die, but I do it in such vague terms that nothing is actually said.

My reaction to death in media really depends. A lot of my favorite fics are all very comedic, and would use an unexpected death as a source for a lot of jokes. Macabre humor, very Addams family style. I wouldn’t care much, and the character might even come back as a ghost later in the story.

I don’t think that’s quite what you’re asking about.

Death is a complicated thing when it comes to writing. It’s the ultimate tragedy, it’s the ending of a character’s journey.

Written poorly, death feels arbitrary. It feels like something that happened because the author ran out of ideas.

(I have to confess to using death to cut a story short, but that was for a class project that had a due date. I simply couldn’t spend another fifty hours working on the project, there wasn’t time for that).

Used well, death feels purposeful. It can wreck you emotionally. A death can be the entire point of the work, written into fate from the moment the characters were first on the page.

Sometimes, though, a death isn’t the best option for dramatic effect. There are many tales of tragedy or horror that end on fates far worse than death. Orpheus doesn’t die at the end of Hadestown, but I am still wrecked by his fate. Some of the most haunting episodes of Twilight Zone end in a purgatory of endless suffering.

When it comes to Ao3, I don’t usually go for longer works that focus on slow-burn drama. That’s not my cup of tea. For my beloved handful of longer dramatic pieces I am subscribed to, the death of a major supporting character would be a step of growth for the main character. I’d be intrigued on how the author intends to write through the process of grief.

It feels almost instinctual for a writer to place a death at the end of a story- death can be more interesting placed at the beginning or somewhere in the middle. Does a characters death mark raising stakes (Yellowjackets S1E10 does this really well, but it’s also a plot point in most slasher horror films.)? Perhaps it’s the inciting incident for a revenge plot (I’m pretty sure this is the plot of John Wick, but I haven’t seen it). Perhaps it’s the death of the home they once knew, giving them no choice but to journey in a different direction (Star Wars, Lion King). Perhaps the death of a companion is the consequence of a main characters foolishness, a permanent reminder to not make the same mistakes again (this is in a book about wizards, I just can’t remember what it’s called right now. It’s also Yellowjackets S1E10). That last one is a bit delicate. The entire point is that the death is preventable, which might be aggravating for people.

Naturally, some people may not like media that features death. Some people might not like intense dramatic stakes. I’m one of these people sometimes. After a long day at work, I don’t want the emotional stress of being absolutely wrecked by tragedy.

If I’m in that mood, I don’t seek out content that would come near featuring death. I read fluffy comedies. It would be a massive tone shift to have a death played seriously in any sort of fluffy comedy piece- imagine if Phineas and Ferb had Candice die. That would break the plot. The piece would probably have to shift forever, no longer able to continue like those deaths didn’t happen. It would take a lot of good writing to return to a fluffy comedy after a death. It’s possible- the Simpsons has had multiple deaths- but it would be nearly impossible if it’s a major character (which is why they can’t kill off Homer Simpson).

No one is paying you to write fanfiction. You don’t have to conform to any sort of expectations. If you want to kill off every character to make a point, then do it. Who cares what your audience thinks? You’re making art. Sometimes the purpose isnt just to make people happy. Sometimes, characters have to die. Sacrifice your characters for the art.

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Damian didn’t realize it would be a big deal.

In retrospect, he should’ve considered his family’s trauma. Of course his father and Dick would be upset at the revelation. They still had uncomfortable feelings regarding Jason, despite the fact that Jason was currently fine.

Batman and Nightwing had pulled Damian into a side room. If they were going to have a breakdown, they’d do it in private to avoid harming their stone-cold facade.

“Tell me it isn’t true, baby bird!” Dick cried dramatically. Batman was already starting to brood.

“Everything’s fine. I’m only dead by technicality,” Damian reassured his family. “I was sworn into a pact of mutual protection with a few gods. I had to be dead to accept the pact, but that was just a matter of paperwork. According to most gods, I’m both dead and alive at the same time.”

“And this happened at summer camp?” Batman asked, putting the timeline together in his mind.

“Exactly,” Damian said.

“Which gods did you form a pact with?” Dick asked.

“The king of the infinite realms, the lady of black and green, and the pharaoh of modernity,” Damian answered. It would’ve been rude to use their actual names. While he trusted his family with that information, he also had loyalty to the realms. The ghost-half of Damian prickled at the thought of revealing trusted information to outsiders. That act of treason went against his oath of trust and allegiance, an oath that had been branded into his soul. It would’ve torn Damian apart to reveal that information- possibly literally torn his soul in half. Batman was smart, he’d figure it out on his own if he needed to.

“Since when did summer camp have you join some sort of cult?” Nightwing asked. “Are we going to have to worry about a bunch of teenage cultists again?”

“It’s not a cult,” Damian defended, “and it was just me that made the oath, thanks to my exposure to the Pits, and my fighting prowess. It’s an honor to be a Knight of the Realms.”

“The more you talk, the more it sounds like a cult.” Nightwing replied.

“My son joined a cult,” Batman agreed, “and he’s in denial about it.”

“It’s not a cult.”

Ok so Amity gets lots of its funding by hosting a summer camp every year. They host it by the lake in the woods and the local high schools are counselors and head of cabins.

The camp is like a 150 year tradition and it got very popular especially among the rich from around the country.

They kept it going, closing down for 3 summers because of the ghost attacks (the town could have the attacks and the camp running. It would be too dangerous)

They opened it the next year, but with a lot more liability paperwork and that stuff.

This is also the year where Damian Wayne gets sent to the camp.

Bruce went, Dick went, Jason went, Tim went and even Cass went for a year and now it was his turn.

Damian did not want to go. There are no phones allowed, so he won’t be able to communicate with his family. He went anyway. Danny is his head of cabin.

All the senior class members are liminal. With the weird traits and all that shit. They know Danny is phantom but they don’t really talk about it

Shenanigans:

- Danny noticing the faint liminal scent on Damian and kind takes him under his wing to hopefully have Damian feed off of his ecto and get healthier. Damian thinks his head of cabin just gets really attached really easily.

- Sam running the gardens and using her undergrowth powers. Damian think she’s related to Posion Ivy, but evidently does not care when he find out she a vegan and just as passionate about the environment and animals as he is

- Tucker teaches the campers a coding class. 30 fourteen year olds hacking into places they should not hack into. Surprisingly, under Tuckers guidance, they all manage to successfully hack into the Pentagon without detection. Damian glanced at Tucker’s screen and saw that he was not hacking along with them but hacking an organization called the GIW

-Val and Danny teach hand to hand combat and weapons. After the camper learn to use all the weapons, Val and Danny assign one o them (crossbow, knife, bow and arrow, laser gun). Damian is great at all of them, and they let him pick whichever weapon he wants.

- Damian offhandedly mentions that a katana is his preferably weapon. The next week, Danny’s younger sister comes back from her travels with a katana for him.

- dash and kwan run the camp wide games. They have capture the flag and dodgeball (but they changed it to bow and arrow dodgeball to secretly help with the kids aim), but now they added a little tournament.

- each camper uses their weapon and are pitted against each other until there is one winner. Unsurprisingly, it’s Damian.

- the GIW crashes the camp in the middle of the night after getting a really strong ecto signal (Damian, plus Danny, plus the other liminal counselors). The counselors were at a separate location having a meeting or some other shit that doesn’t involve the campers.

-with Damian leading, the campers manage to fend them off. He and the other campers notice that they seemed to be targeting Damian.

-the counselors get back in time to help them.

-Damian doesn’t mention any of this to his family, and neither do the other campers. They all want to come back next year.

BONUS

Damian send weekly letters about what he’s doing at camp but in simple terms so that the Wayne’s think that camp just expanded their activities and Damian’s having fun

BONUS BONUS

Damian, after feeding off of Danny’s ecto for 2 months becomes visibly liminal. He grows a foot and a half taller, gets fangs, can hold his breath for longer, is quieter, eyes start glowing.

The Waynes are slightly suspicious, but they’ve all went to the camp and came back fine, so maybe he just had a growth spurt.

Maybe months later Constantine comes to the Watchtower and ask Damian how long he’s been dead. Damian answers.

“4 months, magician.”

The Waynes are now freaking out because they had no idea Damian died during summer camp.

Cue the rabbit hole into Amity Park, Phantom, Danny, and the GIW

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Despite this poll, I have randomly started a Batman x Welcome to Nightvale crossover.

(I do have part of the Labyrinth crossover written. Not all of the first chapter, but a nice chunk.)

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I’m gonna do it.

I’m gonna use the power of friendship

to disintergrate your bones

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life can't be that bad when there's still cat and other assorted creatures

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I did not sleep well, though my bed was comfortable enough, for I had all sorts of queer dreams. I dreamt of a pale man with a smirk on his face, whispering “I’ll suck you dry, in more ways than one,” while licking his lips. This bizarre vision was probably the paprika, for I am unaccustomed to such spicy dreams.

I then had more paprika for breakfast.