#this makes it seem like i don’t take crit well lmfao

[plzu]

i logged into work an hour and a half earlier on friday, worked thru lunch, then continued working after hours, and logged in to work even more hours over the weekend. and this morning i get an email that said i did something wrong (unrelated to the work i did unpaid ot for) and it broke something inside me lmao what if i just quit and walk into the nearest body of water forever and ever ??????

[grailbot143]

Our belated celebration of 64 followers!

Here is the second installment of SUDnD to celbrate one of the milestones we defined in the beginning. It has actually been a bit since we hit this milestone, but I was preoccupied. . .

I want to thank loreweaver, alvinnobody and delicious-anomalocaris for all the reblogs and thanks to everyone who comes back each week and reads and likes the stuff. Thanks to daiskken for the continued conversations each week.

Campaign: Crystal Gems

Session 2: Laser Light Cannon

MotelCalifornia: Alright, so Steven and Amethyst have decided to go to the fry shop while Pearl and Garnet stay on the Beach near the Temple? We’ll follow Steven and Amethyst for now. Fryman is in the store right now.

ShieldsNRoses: Hey, Fryman, give me the bits!

MotelCalifornia: It’s kinda late, so the shop is closed right now.

MotelCalifornia: Oh, uh he gestures to the closed sign and says *Fryman* Steven! We’re closed.

ShieldsNRoses: D: Aww, what?

AwesomeSaucem: imma beat on the counter Give 'em the bits! The bits, the bits...

ShieldsNRoses: The BITS! The BITS! The BITS!

MotelCalifornia: *Fryman* Okay, okay! Take it easy on the counter, will ya?

ShieldsNRoses: Yes!

AwesomeSaucem: Yes!

MotelCalifornia: He gives you the fry bits. They’re even more burnt than usual. I can give you actual fries if you want.

ShieldsNRoses: Just the bits, please. Thanks. @awesomesaucem Did we want to get anything else?

AwesomeSaucem: nah we dont need anything we head back to the beach

MotelCalifornia: Cool on your way back, you guys see two suns in the sky

Pearlescence: Two suns? I thought you said this world was basically Earth. A planet with two suns wouldn’t be anything like Earth.

MotelCalifornia: I’ll explain in a bit Let’s get everyone together first. But one of them seems to be getting bigger and the other one is setting

AwesomeSaucem: as were walking i wanna munch on stevens bits

ShieldsNRoses: have at it. Ah, sunset, my favorite time of day. When the sun goes down, and the second sun gets bigger and bigger in the sky.

AwesomeSaucem: lol Yeah, that big hot second sun

MotelCalifornia: You notice the second sun has a red eye

AwesomeSaucem: oh man not again!!!!!!! oh no, what is that doing here?

ShieldsNRoses: What is it?

AwesomeSaucem: I don’t wanna explain this I carry him to the others

ShieldsNRoses: Ah, my bits! *Rolls low*

Motel California: It was in your inventory, Shields, you didn’t have to. . . ah, never mind. We’re going back to Garnet and Pearl until you get to the beach.

STELLA: This is bad.

Pearlescence: I’m looking through the telescope. I want to roll to see how much I can remember about the red eye. *Rolls 10*

MotelCalifornia: It’s bigger than you remember, but you know it will likely crash into the city and kill people, including you.

Pearlescence: Look at the size of it, I had no idea these things were so big!

MotelCalifornia: Steven and Amethyst approach Pearl and Garnet on the beach.

AwesomeSaucem: still runnin and ive still got steven and im just yelling really loud Garnet! Pearl!

Pearlescence: I’m very angry that you guys weren’t with us when this all started. We saw. Some of us are trying to protect humanity. Where were you?

AwesomeSaucem: I put steven down Eating fry bits.

Pearlescence: Ugh

ShieldsNRoses: I wanna look through the telescope Oh, can I see? I see a giant eyeball Woah. It's a giant eyeball! Awesome!

Pearlescence: NOT awesome! It's a Red Eye!

ShieldsNRoses: A Red Eye?! It’s going to infect us all!

STELLA: That’s pink eye, Steven.

AwesomeSaucem: lmfao

Pearlescence: It’s going to crash into Beach City and crush us, along with a bunch of oblivious, innocent people! We have to stop it.

ShieldsNRoses: What are we going to do?

STELLA: The only thing powerful enough to destroy it is a Light Cannon that belonged to Rose Quartz.

ShieldsNRoses: My mom?

AwesomeSaucem: *ugh* if rose were here this would be so easy

Pearlescence: I know, but she’s not, and the cannon is missing. We’ll have to find another solution.

ShieldsNRoses: If it belonged to my mom, I bet my dad knows where it is. He can help us save the day!

Pearlescence: . . .

Amethyst: yea seriously

ShieldsNRoses: Huh? Eah?!

MotelCalifornia: Shields we hhavent decided your dads charatcer yet. I was hoping to bring him in later…

ShieldsNRoses: Well… why don’t we just make him like you? He’d be a perfect dad character

Pearlescence: Steven, he is your dad.

ShieldsNRoses: Exactly!

Pearlescence: I speak in a slow sweet voice: Greg is... nice, Steven, but I doubt Rose would entrust someone like him with such a powerful weapon.

MotelCalifornia: um

AwesomeSaucem: Your dad is kind of a mess, Steven.

MotelCalifornia: UM

Pearlescence: AMETHYST! You calling someone a mess makes it seem a little extreme…

AwesomeSaucem: I’m just sayin’, even if she did leave it with him, he probably broke it, or lost it, or dropped it in the ocean by now.

STELLA: TRUE

MotelCalifornia: Stella no not you too

ShieldsNRoses: Cmon guys No way, I’m sure he’s just keeping it somewhere safe. I’ll go ask him.

STELLA: WE CAN HANDLE THIS, STEVEN.

AwesomeSaucem: were way higher level than last time we can totally do this I bet that garnet could just throw me and it would beat it

STELLA: READY?

AwesomeSaucem: woah rly? HELLz ya lets do this

MotelCalifornia: Alright then roll for strength

STELLA: 19

MotelCalifornia: You pick up Amethyst and launch her at high speed directly at the redeyee. She makes it and it makes a neat thump when she bounces right off.

AwesomeSaucem: rly? with a 19? I bet a crit would knock it out of the sky we gotta keep trying

STELLA: OK

ShieldsNRoses: Uh, I’m gonna go. I head to town.

Pearlescence: (half-heartedly) ... Okay, good luck.

ShieldsNRoses: I’m banging on my dad’s van doors Dad, it’s me! Dad, are you in there? Wake up! We have to save... the— WORLD!

ShieldsNRoses: I climb on th van Dad! I think the van is like a mystry machine except more like ashtroids and shootin stars and planets

ShieldsNRoses: and a purple and white Mr. Universe real big on the side

MotelCalifornia: hm, you trip on top of the van and set off a car alarm

ShieldsNRoses: :)

MotelCalifornia: Greg bursts out of the van with a waffle iron *Greg* Who’s there? I have a waffle iron!

ShieldsNRoses: Dad, it’s me!

MotelCalifornia: Greg looks on top of the van. *Greg:* Steven? I almost waffled your face! What are you doing up so late?

ShieldsNRoses: whatdya meen? the sun just went down like an our ago

MotelCalifornia: *Greg* Oh, heh. It was a... slow day at the car wash. Anyway, what’s up? Just needed to see your old man, pal around, learn some lessons about life?_

ShieldsNRoses: NO!!! I need the lite cannon that belonged to mom to blow up that eyeball

MotelCalifornia: *Greg* Eyeball?

ShieldsNRoses: *pointing at it* that!!!

AwesomeSaucem: just as greg is looking at it he sees me flyin up and smack into it Raaaah!!!

MotelCalifornia: *Greg* Wait, is that a magical thing? The Gems told me not to get involved with magic stuff. It... it could be dangerous or interfere with what’s left of my hair. Greg rubs his long luscious hair.

AwesomeSaucem: lol. . . long lushus hair cept the bald part on top

ShieldsNRoses: But they need Mom’s cannon. You've gotta know where it is, like a cave dungeon or a cloud fortress, or in a clam at the bottom of the ocean!

MotelCalifornia: *Greg* Well, I don’t know about all that but I have an idea where it might be.

ShieldsNRoses: A magical storage unit!

MotelCalifornia: *Greg* Ha, not exactly. But some would say there’s magic inside. *winks at Steven* It’s just a shed I use to keep things that don’t fit in the van. If it’s anywhere, it’ll be in here. Greg opens the door and reveals a shed a well organized shed.

Pearlescence: I hope you don’t mean as well organized as your actual shed.

AwesomeSaucem: lol ya just pakced top to botom w/ junk

ShieldsNRoses: if imma go in there Imma gonna need some gear.

MotelCalifornia: It’s not junk. I save everything for a reason! There’s some really important stuff in there!

MotelCalifornia: umm, I mean Greg has a reason for everything he saves.

ShieldsNRoses: I tie a flash lite to my head with a sok and elecktric cord around waste here I go

MotelCalifornia: *Greg* Good luck!

ShieldsNRoses: I crawl in on my hands and knees woa, cool! Its like a dad museum.

AwesomeSaucem: see that pic of the cat with the ball of yarn? Mabe some mattresses? Newspapers?

MotelCalifornia: A dad museum? Roll for investigation

ShieldsNRoses: There it is! *rolls 3*

MotelCalifornia: If by IT you mean golf clubs...You pull them down on top of yourself

ShieldsNRoses: Do you golf?

MotelCalifornia: *Greg* Eh, I’d like to think of myself as someone who would golf... eventually.

Pearlescence: There are probably a lot of weapons in there. I seem to recall you having a harpoon gun. I’m fairly sure I saw an arrow sticking out of a file box!

AwesomeSaucem: Oooh, and that sweet mask, shield and drum from Africa. Have you even been to Africa?

Pearlescence: I think I remember you having a refrigerator also. And a Japanese lantern.

MotelCalifornia: Alright guys. . . Steven, Roll again?

ShieldsNRoses: hmm, yes! *rolls a 6*

MotelCalifornia: You find a drum. Again?

ShieldsNRoses: No! I smack the drum first!

MotelCalifornia: Ok. It makes a thump sound. Roll

ShieldsNRoses: No, no... Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Is this *rolls a 4*

MotelCalifornia: A t-shirt cannon? Why yes, yes it is!

ShieldsNRoses: cool, I shootit

MotelCalifornia: A t-shirt comes out of it.

ShieldsNRoses: ooh it says buy tshirt cannons

Pearlescence: Now that I think about it, you have a lot of sports things in there, don’t you? A croquet set, tennis balls, rackets?

AwesomeSaucem: mabe u can find some of your dads old music in there

ShieldsNRoses: YES! I roll to find some music *rolls 18*

MotelCalifornia: really? You find a box full of CDs

ShieldsNRoses: hey, there’s a bunch of copies of your old CD! I put one in my pockit

MotelCalifornia: *Greg* Huh. Oh, man, I couldn’t give those things away. You know, before I ran the car wash, when I was a one-man band, I traveled the whole country.

ShieldsNRoses: lol I know, Dad.

MotelCalifornia: *Greg* When I came to play a concert here in Beach City, no one showed up

MotelCalifornia: *Greg* _except . . . _

ShieldsNRoses: An ALLIGATOR!

MotelCalifornia: What? I thought you’d say your mom. . . *Greg* No, it was your mother.

ShieldsNRoses: Hahaha, I know.

MotelCalifornia: *Greg* And we were always together after that. Until she gave up her physical form to bring you into the world. I don’t know what a magic lady like her ever saw in a plain old dope like me. roll again to find the cannon?

ShieldsNRoses: *rolls 1*

MotelCalifornia: you break something under your knee

Pearlescence: A photo frame of Greg and Rose

ShieldsNRoses: What?! uhh, dad I broke a photo.

MotelCalifornia: roll again?

ShieldsNRoses: *rolls 14*

MotelCalifornia: *Greg* It’s okay buddy. If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs. You see the cannon glow

ShieldsNRoses: Huh? The light cannon!

MotelCalifornia: Greg is ignoring Steven distracted by the red eye *Greg* Oh boy, that thing’s giving me the willies.

ShieldsNRoses: Dad I found it!

MotelCalifornia: *Greg* Really?

ShieldsNRoses: tying cord around cannon Get the van!

MotelCalifornia: ok Greg ties the other end of the cord rope to the van, then drives it forward until the cannon is out.

Pearlescence: Wouldn’t that cause everything else to come out with it?

MotelCalifornia: …yes.

ShieldsNRoses: This thing could save the city, we've gotta get it to the beach!

MotelCalifornia: *Greg* How? It’s too big for the van. rolls 3 …um. a wagon rolls by?

ShieldsNRoses: That’s perfect! We can just put the cannon into the wagon!

Pearlescence: Steven… I don’t think that any wagon that Greg is going to own will be strong enough to hold the cannon.

ShieldsNRoses: well its what we got…. it has to work

MotelCalifornia: alright Steven we’ll roll for it Easy does it. Greg puts the cannon on the wagon. Steven, roll?

ShieldsNRoses: *rolls 8* Is it gonna be okay?

MotelCalifornia: The bottom falls out and the cannon hits the ground. the rest of the wagon is in good shape though. *Greg* shrugs If every pork chop were perfect...

ShieldsNRoses: We wouldn’t have hot dogs! I tie the wagon to the van. It might be able to pull it like this?

MotelCalifornia: Sure. roll

ShieldsNRoses: *rolls 17*

MotelCalifornia: That should work. We get in the van and drive to the beach, the cannon dragging sparks behind us.

MotelCalifornia: Greg is really disturbed by the enlarged Red Eye. That thing’s getting huge, it's freaking me out.

ShieldsNRoses: Can’t the van go any faster?

MotelCalifornia: This is faster.

AwesomeSaucem: Ugh this is takign 4evr

Pearlescence: It has been a while.

ShieldsNRoses: Oh I know! Finding dad’s music earlier got this in my haed! Don’t worry. Come on, let’s put on your CD.

MotelCalifornia: uh What? Really? Come on, you’ve heard it. Steven, please no

ShieldsNRoses: You come on. youtube song Let me drive my van into your heart!

MotelCalifornia: We get to the beach

AwesomeSaucem: G r u still thowin me? that would be hilarious

STELLA: OK

AwesomeSaucem: Sweet! Throw me again, I think I’m cracking it.

MotelCalifornia: You guys notice the van coming up with the cannon draggign on the beach behind it.

AwesomeSaucem: Is that... ?

ShieldsNRoses: Hey, guys!

Pearlescence: I imagine Pearl would be very surprised. He really had it!

AwesomeSaucem: We’re SAVED!!!

MotelCalifornia: Red Eye’s gravity begins to pull everything towards it, causing rumbling and destruction. The fryshop sign falls over.

AwesomeSaucem: no not the fry shop!

MotelCalifornia: shingles are coming off the roofs, telephone poles are being pulled towards the eye, the wind is crazy

STELLA: WE HAVE TO USE IT NOW

Pearlescence: I don’t remember how she activated it. I think it was a password. I don’t know how it works, it was Rose’s!

ShieldsNRoses: Dad, how do we use it?

MotelCalifornia: I can’t just tell you that. I don’t think greg would know anywho

Pearlescence: Steven, this is serious. The gem. You have Rose’s gem.

AwesomeSaucem: a pwd or did she tap it with her gem? That’s it! I grab steven and rub him on the cannon

MotelCalifornia: that doesn’t work

AwesomeSaucem: Ah, come on!

STELLA: STOP THAT

Pearlescence: Can we get a hint? Your puzzles aren’t usually this difficult.

MotelCalifornia: I figured you guys wouldn’t remember so I’ve already given you hints.

Pearlescence: Ugh. It’s no use.

AwesomeSaucem: Fine, forget it. Throw me again.

Pearlescence: That’s not going to work.

MotelCalifornia: The gravitational pull intensifies and pulls the van and cannon.

MotelCalifornia: Greg unhooks cord from cannon *Greg:* I got this. *rolls 2* *Greg:* Ugh, wait, nope, maybe I don’t!

ShieldsNRoses: I start talkin to the canon Please work, unlock, activate, go, please! Everyone’s counting on you, you can’t just be useless! I know you can help. i gotta be able to find the password if i just keep talkin rite?

MotelCalifornia: That’s actaully pretty good. I’ll give you another hint. *Greg:* It’s okay, Steven. We’ll figure out something else, something even better.

ShieldsNRoses: right… if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs.

MotelCalifornia: that’s right! you activate the cannon.

Pearlescence: It’s working!

MotelCalifornia: The cannon starts folding out like rose petals it shines bright pink, then it falls forward and is now aimed at the horizon

ShieldsNRoses: the horizon?! where is the red eye?

MotelCalifornia: almost diagonal up in the sky

ShieldsNRoses: I try to lift the cannon

MotelCalifornia: roll for strength

ShieldsNRoses: *rolls 19*

MotelCalifornia: hold on let me look at your character sheet

MotelCalifornia: ok you do a good job lifting it. But its still too heavy for you to get it all the way.

Pearlescence: Steven! We’ll help! *rolls 16*

AwesomeSaucem: This is it! *rolls 18* this is gonna be sweet

STELLA: BRACE YOURSELVES *rolls 20*

MotelCalifornia: I’m glad I get to use this again. It explodes and *rolls* falls destroying parts of the city boardwalk. a giant crack in the ground. Mr Frymans car falls into the crack

AwesomeSaucem: Steven, you just saved most of Beach City!

ShieldsNRoses: poor mr fryman Sorry about that!

Pearlescence: How did you get it to work?

ShieldsNRoses: I just said that thing that Dad always says.

Pearlescence: That thing about pork rinds?

STELLA: Hot dogs.

MotelCalifornia: Greg tears up remmemberin Rose Rose...

AwesomeSaucem: yo wudnt all dat destruction hit da water and cos a big wave?

MotelCalifornia: ya probably

AwesomeSaucem: wudnt it carry ur van away?

MotelCalifornia: *Greg* My van!

ShieldsNRoses: It’s okay, Dad, if every pork chop were perfect

MotelCalifornia: *Greg* I LIVE in there! apparently

ShieldsNRoses: Wait up! I run to ward van

MotelCalifornia: Greg goes running after his van *Greg* Oh geez, wait, wait, wait!

MotelCalifornia: ok guys I think that’s enough for this week. That was a pretty good session I think.

Pearlescence: I agree! You were doing a great job today Steven!

ShieldsNRoses: Thanks! I tried my best. Saucem and Stella were being the funniest though.

AwesomeSaucem: ya i no im great

MotelCalifornia: Alright so let’s meet up again next time. We’ll be heading to the Sea Spire for this one.

Pearlescence: Oh, how lovely! I’ve always liked the Sea Spire. I can’t help but imagine it as being very majestic. I’ll see you all then.

AwesomeSaucem: ttyl

ShieldsNRoses: Bye!

MotelCalifornia: Cya then.