#this one got me I won't lie
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"I don't care how much you hate me - you need to eat!"
DickTim during Bruce's Lost In Time phase but with Dick stopping Tim from leaving💕
send a quote and a ship and I'll write a short fic!
fucked up DickTim during Bruce's lost in time era my beloved. this is 2k of *very* dead dove DickTim, with one-sided feelings from Dick and unreliable narrator vibes. it is a smidge OOC, just bc of how dark Dick gets, but i think i kept it best i could. enjoy <3
It wasn’t supposed to go this far.
Dick thought he was doing this to honor Bruce. The last thing Bruce would’ve wanted was to see Tim drive himself over the edge and go too far, all for a fruitless chase to bring Bruce back from the dead. And sure, maybe deep down Dick knew he reflected some of Bruce’s worst traits. The obsessive control. The worrying to the point of being overbearing.
It came with the capes and spandex territory. Especially now that Dick had decided to man up and put on that damned cowl.
But even at Bruce’s worst, Dick was pretty sure he wouldn’t dare go this far.
Dick knew it was wrong. What he didn’t know was why he couldn’t stop himself. Why the gnawing guilt was so easy to compartmentalize and why every good point Tim had got ignored by Dick’s logical side, brushed off by one simple mantra.
He was doing this for Tim’s own good.
All of this was to protect Tim from doing something he would regret.
Dick had done brain scans, had Tim magically checked up, and even managed to get him to properly talk to a psychiatrist. Everything came back normal. Tim was perfectly healthy.
So maybe this was something that had always been a part of Tim. Maybe it was a bad idea for any of them to have let Tim into the vigilante world so young.
Some people could handle it. Some people couldn’t. Dick had seen firsthand how it broke minds and ruined lives. He’d seen people turn to drugs, cults, murder, and god knew what else just to try to cope with it.
That didn’t make Tim weak. Tim Drake was the furthest thing from weak, and Dick would fight anyone on that.
This was just a hard life to cope with. Sometimes, people needed support through the worst of it.
That’s what Dick was doing.
Giving support.
“I don’t care how much you hate me- you need to eat!” Dick stepped back, dodging Tim’s attempt to kick his feet out. The bowl of salad Dick had set next to Tim was completely ignored.
Dick had learned not to give Tim hot food after Tim flung potato soup at his head the first time, chunks of potato stuck to his hair.
Tim’s scowl was lethal. Technically, he wasn’t restrained. He could move freely around the manor and do whatever he wanted.
It was the shock collar that kept him from leaving the grounds or breaking into the Batcave.
Dick had decided that would be the most humane way. The shock was only momentarily painful, it was designed to knock Tim unconscious if he tried to get somewhere he wasn’t supposed to. The collar had taken three tries before Dick found a lock Tim couldn’t pick, and a few more unfortunate incidents of Tim finding weak spots in the barrier.
But Dick always found Tim and brought him back home.
That was what was important.
The fact Tim kept trying to break out and go to god knew where on some fruitless quest to find a dead man made Dick more secure about this decision.
He was doing this to protect Tim. Once Tim worked through the worst of his grief, all this would be in the past. Something they would laugh at.
Hopefully.
It was like one of Tim’s contingency plans. Really, he of all people should understand.
But he didn’t. Which was what hurt Dick the most, the angry look in Tim’s eyes and the way his fists clenched when Dick came into Tim’s room. Tim had access to the whole manor, but he stuck mostly to his room, refusing to talk to anyone.
Especially Dick.
And now, it seemed, his latest tactic was a hunger strike.
“I’ll let you look over the burglary case we’re working on,” Dick offered. “I’ll bring you all the files and your computer if you just…” he gestured to the salad, “eat something.”
That had worked, in the beginning. Dick could coax good behavior out of Tim by offering to let Tim help with whatever case Dick was facing. It took a load off of Dick’s back and gave Tim something to focus on.
Of course, Dick couldn’t leave Tim’s computer with him. The first time Dick did that, Tim managed to break all of the firewalls and safeties put on it to start a case file about Bruce. Dick had to delete everything and only allow Tim monitored access from that point on.
After that, Tim really didn’t like Dick.
“Can’t you just go back to ignoring me?” Tim snapped. He sounded… resigned. Emotionless in a way he hadn’t been, like all the fight he’d been putting up for weeks was finally going out.
“Ignoring you?” Dick frowned. He felt like he’d been punched in the gut at the words. He kept a wide berth from Tim, wary of more punches being thrown, and decided to sit at Tim’s desk chair, a good few feet from where Tim was on his bed. “What makes you think I’m ignoring you?”
Tim scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You only talk to me to ask if I’ve dropped the Bruce thing yet, or to try to force self-care on me. The rest of the time you ignore me so you don’t have to face your own guilt.”
Dick violently shook his head. “That’s not-” he sighed, running a hand over his face- “I’m just busy, I promise. Between being Batman, managing Bruce’s estate, and trying to handle Damian, I just…” his voice trailed off. So many things to balance. He still didn’t know how Bruce managed it all. “I haven’t made enough time for you. I’m sorry.”
He decided to take on the burden of helping Tim. It was his responsibility and Tim was right, Dick was doing a piss poor job of taking care of him.
No wonder he pushed away Dick’s attempts to reconcile. It must’ve come across as half-assed, in Tim’s eyes.
Dick wished Bruce was here. He would’ve known the right way to handle this.
“Don’t start now,” Tim said icily. He picked up a book from his nightstand and opened it, pointedly not looking at Dick anymore. “Just leave me alone.”
“Will you eat first?” Dick asked. “If you just eat, I’ll go. I promise.”
With a loud sigh, Tim snapped his book shut. He picked up the salad Dick brought and shoveled down mouthfuls, all while glaring at Dick. Once the bowl was empty he set it back down and spread his hands, waiting.
Dick didn’t leave.
He wasn’t going to abandon Tim.
Dick stood up and Tim relaxed for just a moment before he realized Dick was walking toward Tim’s bed instead of the door. Slowly, like he was approaching a wild animal, Dick crept forward. He chose to sit on the foot of the bed, still far enough away from Tim to give him personal space.
“Tim-”
“Out. Now. You promised.”
Dick ran his fingers through his hair. “I know, but-”
“What do you want from me?” Tim almost yelled the words. “Do you want me to just say I don’t believe Bruce is alive? Will you finally leave me alone, then?”
“Can you say it under a truth serum?”
Tim went quiet, grinding his jaw.
“I want you to get better,” Dick sighed.
“What happens when I get better, then?” Tim challenged. He moved to sit cross-legged on the bed. So close to Dick that Dick could reach out and touch him, but emotionally, they were miles apart and it hurt Dick’s chest. “You ‘fix me’-” he put finger quotes around the words- “to your liking, then set me free?”
“Don’t talk about yourself like you’re an animal.” Dick frowned, fist clenching at the idea Tim thought of himself that way.
Tim just stared at him. “Then don’t treat me like one.” He raised a hand and tapped the collar.
It looked like it had new scratch marks on it.
“That’s not what I’m doing,” Dick said. He tried to find the words. It was so hard to explain it when Tim wasn’t listening to him. He wasn’t even given a chance. Dick tried to reach out. For once, Tim didn’t pull away. He was completely rigid under Dick’s touch, though. His hand rested on Tim’s arm, thumb stroking back and forth. “You know I’m doing this because… because I’m worried about you. And I care, Tim.”
“No you don’t,” Tim leaned away from Dick, but didn’t pull his arm free. “Whatever version of me exists in your head-”
“Tim-”
“-isn’t real,” Tim ignored him and kept going. “You won’t even listen to my theory-”
“Tim!” Dick tightened his grip, ignoring the small wince of pain that came out of Tim. “I’m not entertaining that kind of talk.” He tried to be firm but loving with his tone. But even Dick could hear the anger and frustration that was bleeding off of him. “This is practically self harm.”
“I know I’m right,” Tim mumbled. He wouldn’t look at Dick. “Will you just leave, now?”
Against his better judgment, Dick stood up. He had to patrol soon. “I’m sorry. We’ll talk after-”
“I’m going to sleep,” Tim snapped. “No, we won’t.”
Dick tried to throw his hands up in frustration, but he was still holding onto Tim’s arm.
He didn’t want to let go.
He knew Tim was waiting for him to let go, but Dick couldn’t force his fingers to release. He just stared for a moment, breathing hard.
Dick was doing this out of love.
And now, he loved Tim too much to want to let go of him.
Did he have to patrol tonight? He was pretty sure the Birds of Prey were in Gotham.
“Dick,” Tim said carefully, starting to scoot away from him. The apprehension in his voice was unsteady, eyes narrowed. He was always too on edge. “I’m tired. Just go on patrol.”
Instead of letting go, Dick lifted his other hand and held Tim’s face. Tim flinched but stopped inching away. He was completely still, barely even breathing.
He looked afraid of Dick.
Dick’s chest clenched. He wished he could get Tim to understand. Dick leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Tim’s forehead.
He wanted to kiss somewhere else, somewhere a few inches lower and just as unobtainable. That was a feeling Dick buried deep, deep inside of him.
It wasn’t why he was doing this.
A hand pressed against Dick’s chest. Trying to push Dick away, but for just a moment, the pressure and warmth almost made Dick shudder. Tim hadn’t properly trained in a while.
He wasn’t actually strong enough to push Dick off of him. If Dick wanted to, Tim couldn’t have stopped him.
But their relationship was already fractured. It would take a long time of repairing and letting Tim heal before Dick could even try pursuing those feelings.
Tim had once had a childhood crush on Dick, though. So he was pretty sure they could work their way up to it, be something more.
Dick pulled away. He let go of Tim’s arm and allowed himself one stroke of Tim’s hair. It was getting a little long, brushing against Tim’s shoulders.
The entire time, Tim remained perfectly still. But his eyes got wider and wider, the way they always did when he had just figured out a case.
Dick was getting too close. He needed to pull back.
“You still have the spare comm link?” Dick asked.
Tim didn’t answer. He just kept staring with those wide, searching eyes. He looked a little pale. Dick should get him some iron supplements, Tim becoming anemic is the last thing Dick wanted.
“Use it if you need me for anything,” Dick continued. He gave Tim what he hoped was a calming smile. “Get some sleep, Tim. I love you.”
He turned and walked out of Tim’s room. Slowed to crawl at a snail’s pace, hoping for an answer from Tim. He would take any kind of answer.
But Tim kept silent, even as Dick took his time intentionally, slowly closing the door. Dick just sighed, turning down the hall to head down to the Batcave.
Someday, he’d get through to Tim. Dick would find a way.
Someday soon.
#necrotic writings#dicktim#tim drake x dick grayson#batcest#dead dove do not eat#whump#this one got iffy at the end i won't lie#and it's bc a person reached out for a difficult conversation as i was writing this#that. emotionally heavily mirrors this fic lmao#so i was in a very tim position#and i think. it fucked with the fic a bit. oops#but many thanks to my partner for editing it for me.#they helped me keep the unreliable delusional narrator vibes with dick#while hopefully conveying tim's feelings correctly too#bc it is implied that tim realizes dick's feelings in the moment and is horrified#knowign that's the real reason dick is keeping him#and dick just won't acknowledge that#so. it's so fun and messy.#i had a lot of fun with this one <3#slowly but surely#i unbury my askbox hehehe#it's like a sisyphean task but i'm having FUN#if sisyphus was in love with his boulder core.
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the special edition of blue lock volume 30 has kurona and hiori pins and stickers... guys.....
#i won't lie the japanese volumes of blue lock being cheaper than the english versions is making me better at japanese 😭#i got volume 29 for the merch but i did NOT want to waste the money so i read that thing cover to cover even though it was in a language i#am not good at. is this how i achieve fluency? soccer prison merchandise??#REALLY SAD THE SPECIAL EDITIONS THAT HAD OTHER CHARACTERS (i think) ARE JUST NOT BEING SOLD NOW#idk if a shidou one ever existed but man . I desire#masayapping
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i like how everyone's so invested in a dynamic between kwon and tory when all they did was stand next to each other for 3 seconds and make eye contact akshfkdfjfj. i'm not saying i couldn't be into it though!!!
#to be clear this isn't me being a hater#like yeah they look good together but I'm in the 'let's see if they actually talk/have some mind of interesting dynamic first' camp#THEN AGAIN as anyone can see by my url the ship that's taken over my life for years had one scene together in a single book#so who cares you know#but i won't lie i was still caught off guard how much people got from tory and kwon being next to each other for .001% of the season#cobra kai#kwon x tory
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lesbian masterdoc and the unforgivable damage of making people hear compulsory heterosexuality and think of "can lesbians have crushes on men?" (no) instead of "are heterosexual women settling in unhappy marriages with men bellow their worth because of economic and social pressure?" (yes)
#not claiming the theory was without flaws but it sure didn't describe some virus mental affliction that exclusively plagues lesbians#for starters the theory was primarily about marriage. so it did recognise the historical fact of lesbians forced into marriage to avoid#honor killings and the still present possibility and threats especially when it comes to cults and strong religions#(once again mentioning as a Jeová's witness in a brazilian periphery my girlfriend accepted the tool of losing her entire family and social#circles to reject an arranged marriage at the age of 17. and she's bisexual. but THAT is what compulsory heterosexuality alludes to)#but more often than not when it addressed lesbians it was as the inherent threat they pose to heteropatriarchy#that they mere existence proved women were not all born to serve men. and that their lives often proved women are much happier and#accomplished when away from the burden of men.#and this acknowledging just how much loneliness was a reality through lesbian's experiences#at the same time I can understand the frustration of that feminist theory being reduced to 'comphet is when lesbians in high school were#pressured into picking one of the Backstreet Boys to lie about finding attractive'. and even more so when that non universal and much less#serious example somehow morphed into 'comphet is when bisexual women either lying or confused about being lesbians have sex with men and#find it unfulfilling' because accepting that narrative erases and harms lesbians#so I understand the 'comphet isn't real' posts especially because written like that it tends to refer to lesbian masterdoc and following#fiasco. but at the same time that wasn't the original intent of compulsory heterosexuality the actual feminist term#this is just me complaining about how social media butchers theory tho unless they are specifically naming Rich and the many other feminist#who wrote about heterosexual marriage as an institution I won't bother lesbians for venting frustration about neoliberal erasure of lesbian#the original theory sure didn't claim lesbians were immune to all this misogynistic violence but the term was never exclusively about them#and tended to ask more of 'where do we stand as women and feminists as a group much more interested in destroying heterosexual marriage than#simply making it more bearable?'#this got a little messy and senseless I'm tired#.txt
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this man is pissing me off
#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#first it was with his annoying ass thoughts about the superiority of the capital and the dehumanisation of the districts#but now he's having like. NORMAL thoughts. that would be EXPECTED when living in a dystopia#he's seen two classmates die and realised it could've been him and that sejanus saying the capitol not protecting its citizens had merit#and he started acting like a decent human being about lucy gray's situation#forgetting about his own bullshit in the face of her suffering because it's clear that hers is more immediately concerning#the parallels between katniss and coryo drive me INSANE#they've both impoverished young adults who've been in survival mode trying to keep their families from starving to death#forced to actually acknowledge the real world and decide on their own sense of morality#with good influences trying to push them towards the right side#eg. katniss having gale and peeta's voices in her head when she makes a stand for rue#but i KNOW snow doesn't listen to lucy gray and sejanus#i KNOW he doesn't#i've seen the ending! so the possibility of him getting over himself and becoming better is pissing me off because i know he doesn't!!!!#it would be so much easier if he was pure evil. it would be so much less infuriating and so much less horrifying but he's not#he had the potential for goodness and instead he murdered countless people#including thousands of children and any political opponents who got in his way#AND ALSO LUCY GRAY AND SEJANUS#(lucy gray's fate is a mystery but he still chose to kill her and that at least changed HIM)#i hate this. these books are so good i HATE IT#but also some of these lines are so ironic#his tendency towards obsession is likely to kill him one day if he doesn't learn to outsmart it#almost like an obsession with the mockingjay#and calling dr. gaul crazy for her extreme measures to ensure he doesn't lie to her#when he ends up doing the exact same thing to katniss#maybe minus the overt show of violence but like. he doesn't have to. he's in her house threatening her loved ones#it's so fascinating#i want to eat it#but i won't cause i haven't finished reading yet
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@beatingheart-bride
It never ceased to make Randall's heartache, hearing about how distant Emily's family life was growing up, so much so that she barely spoke to her parents, knowing too well that everything she said would simply go in one ear and out the other. It was just so different from his own childhood experiences, how he knew he could always turn to his mother for...anything, really. He knew he could talk to her, ask for her advice, or just simply confide in her, and he knew she would listen. It gutted him to think Emily didn't have the same experience.
"Well, you're a part of this family now," he replied, trying not to dwell on the past (or be resentful of his in-laws), smiling tenderly as he added, "And I couldn't be happier about that: You're a Pace, as far as me and my folks are concerned, and that means the world to us, having you in our afterlives, Emily."
After all this time, in Randall's eyes, Emily had the family she deserved: Although his parents had long made it clear that they never wanted to replace her own parents in her heart, they had nevertheless stepped up to the plate, giving her the familial support she'd long craved. They listened to her, they were supportive of her, they respected her...they treated her like family, because that was what she was. A Pace was a Pace, no matter how they came to be a part of their little clan.
"And I'm sure my uncles and my grandparents will feel just the same way," he smiled, as he pressed a loving kiss to her golden locks: Although she didn't have the worries he and his father did about being accepted, he had no doubt that, by the end of this visit, the Burkes and the Paces would embrace her too.
#((it'll especially be a relief to emily; knowing she won't have to hear from randall what sorts of shenanigans she got up to))#((since she's now more in-control of herself and not running on complete and total instinct anymore!))#((it saves her from both worry *and* embarrassment!))#((and OH MAN; you're RIGHT! that WOULD be such a shock to the system!))#((i think the explanation nicholas gave was that randall strangled emily; and that nicholas decapitated randall))#((in an effort to stop him and save his bride; but he was tragically too late; and *why* would nicholas lie to them?))#((so the family all this time would've thought randall was emily's murderer...))#((...and then they roll up to the mansion and find out she's married to her supposed killer))#((and is raising a family with him! they'd be horrified and confused))#((and it makes me wonder how they'd react to knowing the ugly truth about what really happened that day!))#((they may not still accept or approve of emily's love for randall; nor his love for her))#((but i wonder if it would leave them with a sense of guilt; having so blindly trusted nicholas!))#outofhatboxes#beatingheart-bride#V:Two Worlds; One Family
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every time I watch a war related movie and they play the reveille i get spooked i HATE that melody
#im not hurridly putting on my uniform and running out of a tent at 5 in the morning to go run 2 miles#boy scout camp? more like BOOT CAMP#also i was the troop leader so i had to get everyone else out of the tent and make sure they were presentable#and god forbid it took more than 5 minutes#we were six people in one of those old ass orange tents#its a two people tent !!#i do miss being a boy scout tho it was fun whenever it didnt feel like the military#i used to do scout competitions#got me a mational champion trophy in boy scout (lie we did not win#we totally fucked up the first aid test)#won knot tying tho 💪#ok im just talking now so if you're still reading this won't be short#we had to get a person as high up as possible#and all we got was like 4 long ass tree trunks?? like skinny long round tree things (i hate the english language idk)#and rope#and because i was the shortest i had to hold onto the top of one of the trunks#while the others pulled me like 8 meters into the air#scary as fuck considering i was like 5' back then#won tho 💪💪#i really loved being a scout#we were called boy scouts but it was gender neutral#we hated the girl scouts™ tho#all they did was bake cake and make friendship bracelets while we had to shit in the forest#also they were just really mean like wow#nobody knows how to insult like a girl scout#i loved being troop leader#i liked helping people and being a problem solver and having my troop come to me w problems was SO awesome#until this one time when a girl woke me up in the middle of the night crying#*scene set: like 3am in a tent in the forest*#“😢 i dreamt the scout leader stabbed your eyes out with a cheese cutter 😭😭😭😭” HELLO??? WHAT THE FUCK GOODNIGHT
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ty for being the most graceful member of the hzd fandom on here. tbqh really I don't ship talanoy at all but I still follow you for your takes and enthusiasm and admire the way you treat everyone elses ideas with respect.
Glad and proud you consider me to be that person, nonny!!!
I want the Horizon fandom to be a cool place where everyone can enjoy their favorite aspects along with and/or alongside everyone else. Love what you love LOUDLY--nod politely at or scroll quietly past what you don't--be kind and enthusiastic, and accept kindness and enthusiasm in return. That's what it's about.
We're in this for the long haul until H3 begins to lurk closer, so let's just strive to keep having fun during the long sleep.
#i won't lie. things got hairy earlier this year#we all have our frustrated moments!#but even when they happened to me that's not who i wanna be#let's continue being as excellent to one another as we can be#thanks for this nonny you really made my day <3
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wrapped time lol
#it's funny that no matter how kuch i make fun of mitski i will never escape her LMAO which makes that one weirdo radfem i beefed w#earlier this year even funnier bc they got so mad at me for 'being mean to mitski'. meanwhile...#anyways crazy how my top artists almost never fucking change. and by crazy i mean predictable sadly#that berkeley comment kinda one punch k.o.'d me i won't lie LMAO ig i have pretentious white nepo baby taste i'm sorry
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Tag drop: Seele (Honkai: Star Rail). Listen, I used to write her and I miss her a bit, and also: there's Belobog people around. And also, well, she's much more interesting than people give her credit for. Also, prepare for some 'rewriting', because Belobog's pacing in specific ways kind of blew a little bit much.
#seele. [ we tell them “things will be better tomorrow.” everyone knows it's a lie; but it gets them to sleep with some hope. ]#seele: ic. [ he always says “humanity's endless conflicts”; but you don't get peace by offering everything up on a silver platter. ]#seele: inquiries. [ that's not the only thing you won't have heard of down here; princess. ]#seele: countenance. [ to all those thugs and gangsters in the underworld; i'm like a spectre always haunting them. ]#seele: introspection. [ the chief's right. sometimes a sharp blade is the only way to get people to come to their senses. ]#seele: meta. [ she got used to people losing their homes. and she got used to people losing their lives. but crying alone was useless. ]#seele: little notes. [ they only eat half their meal; throw the rest away. do they know people below haven't got enough food to eat? ]#seele: wishes. [ where there's hope: there's the will to fight. ]#seele: etc. [ a young girl smiles subtly. “how? right here; right now; i am alone… but it feels... very lively.” ]#seele: underworld. [ what's more important than miracles; seele. is to protect people's hopes for miracles. ]#seele: overworld. [ oleg saw how a look of gloom passed over her tender face. “let's go back. i don't want to come back here again.” ]#seele: sampo. [ wildfire has countless issues on its place right now. we don't need a side order of koski. ]#seele: sampo. [ so we're there; now it's real. now that you have me; do you want me still? ] inominati.#seele: bronya. [ they go their separate ways: one stepping into the light; and the other into the shadows. until one day; they meet again.#seele: natasha. [ i learned quickly that tantrums won't get you anywhere. she knows how to give you a taste of your own medicine. ]#seele: oleg. [ i probably owe my life to the chief. ]#seele: hook. [ don't let her appetite for chaos fool you; i think that kid's going places. ]#seele: v. youth. [ everyone in the dark side of town knew that fearless homeless girl. everyone wanted to avoid that wild; stubborn rascal.#seele: v. underworld. [ just what we all need: more lies about a world that never was and never will be. ]#seele: v. present. [ can you imagine the consequences if we told the people what happened here? they'd be devastated. ]#seele: v. future. [ ... priorities? what do you mean? are you saying rebuilding the underworld isn't one of your “priorities”? ]
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Fandom: DCU (Comics)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson
Characters: Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake (DCU)
Additional Tags: Omega Dick Week (DCU), Omega Dick Grayson, Alpha Bruce Wayne, Omega Tim Drake (DCU), Unhealthy Relationships, Manipulation, Porn With Plot, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Grooming, Bad Parent Bruce Wayne, Rough Sex, Breathplay, Consent Issues, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Protectiveness, Protective Dick Grayson, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Painful Sex, Pre-Flashpoint (DCU), Bittersweet Ending, Spanking, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Barebacking
Summary:
Dick had accepted his relationship with Bruce was fucked up and probably unhealthy. He was okay with that. He even had enough self-preservation to refuse to be Bruce's mate for that reason. But when Bruce turns his attention to Tim, Dick's instincts for Tim show him exactly how little self-preservation he has, if it means protecting someone else from Bruce.
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Omega Dick Week 2024 - Day 4: Protective Instincts
#omegadickweek2024#necrotic writings#brudick#ao3 fanfic#batcest#dead dove do not eat#in the final hours. but i'm still on track lads.#scrivener tried to lock this fic in baby jail and wouldn't let me copy it#i bout cried won't lie#but i freed it. it's mine now#anyway over halfway done!#god i'm so tired this one got so LONG#told myself i wouldn't do another 10k. and i did.#this isn't really proofread so sorry if it's iffy#i have many thoughts about this fic it was so fun to write and worldbuild#but rn i'm going to turn into a calcified worm.#might watch the caped crusader or something. idk
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Ugh I was excited for today until I found out I'd have to spend it with people that actively make me hate being alive hate the future and drain me off all energy physically mentally spiritually like a vampire I can't stand to be around her she is the definition of stupidity and even then that's generous as fuck this bitch has filled her brain with so much garbage I watch her brain cells die at alarming rates every single time she uses her vocal cords her giggles make me want to jam a sewing needle into my ear repeatedly so I can never have to hear it again its a friendly reminder that my parents decisions this time my dad's constantly makes me want to die
#i cant even shes just so dangerously stupid#she thinks energy drinks with natural caffeine are safe to give people who have been told by doctor doing take caffeine with thia meds#ahe thinks of a child is CHOCKING to lie them face down n rub their back#she has the evangelical woman voice worse then women I've met n that cult ahe giggles constantly and behaves like the stereotype lil german#boy just got a lollipop over.... everyone and everything whe acts likw an 11 year old I just got the first boyfriend and all they could talk#is how perfect their boyfriend is and they're so pretty good for that I pulled a boyfriend is and it's like a God thing that they met how#SOOOOOOOOOO in love while constantly nonstop touching ahe has to be touching him her hand on his thigh her atm linked with his her heaf on#his chest she has to be in her lap they make out all over the place IT'S DISGUSTING AND EMBARRASSING STOP SWAPPING SPIT#she started a i. hwr words 'love diary of their love journey' they hadn't been dateing 2 months her kids are spoiled fake Instagram bitches#with such shitty views on politics SHE'S A TRUMP FAN GIRL SHENLOVES TRUMP MY DAD BROUGHT IN A TRUMPIE#there's so much i cant even say because even admitting it on tumblr is too embarrassing i wanted.to.likw her i liked her the first day but#THE MORE I GET TO KNOW GET THE MORE N MORE N MISS RED FKAGS#she threw away all my siblings clothes school books toys uniforms for sports their in toys i bought them that week make up jewelry#in the disguise of helping clean house#while i was at the hospital the kids call me in tears i call her beg her to wait and nope.ahe didn't i found the bags by the curb i brought#my dad sided with hwr because 'she didn't mean any harm she didn't know sje was throwing them away'#my mom hasn't bsen dead a year he started dating right after ahe died#hes talking about marrying this woman this woman who has never had an honest educated thought once in her life#WHO ASLO SPEMDA MONEY LIKE A DRUNKEN SAILOR AHE CAME FROM A WITCH FAMILY HER LAST TWO HUSBANDA WERE TOUCH SHE HAS NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE COMMON#SHE SPENDS LIKE SHE STILL HAS MONEY WHEN SHE DOSE NOT AND IT'S LIKE YOU DID NOT JUST SPEND OVER 180 DOLLARS N PASTRIES GOD#SHES SO FUCKIN STUPID AND EVERY HOLIDAY SINCE MY MOM DIED WVERY FAMILY GWT TOGETHER BECAUSE WE DON'T TALK OR.DO ANYTHING WITH MOM'S SIDE#OF THE FAMILY ANYMORE SHE'S THERE EVERY WINGLE MOTHER FUCKIN WEEKEND SHES HERE I'M EXHAUSTED SHES PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY DRAINING TO BE ARO#OUND SHES LIKE IF SOMEONE TOOK A GOLDEN RETRIEVER ON A DIET OF JUST FUCKIN COCAINE LITTLE GERMAN BOY WITH LOLLY AND CRUELLA DEVILLE AND FUSE#THEN TOOK A STRAW AND DRANK ALL THE SMARTS OUT OF THAT BEING#UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGH MY DADS GOIN TO NARRY RHIA BITCH SHES GOIN TO TRY TO BE A MOTHER TO ME AND MY SIBLINGS AND THEY'RE GOIN TO#be so fucked up because her kids are not ok SHE FUCKED THEM OVER BAD SHE HAS FOUR KIDS ALL ADULTS THEY'RE JUST WOW#I HATE MY LIFE I HATE WHAY FUTURE MY FAMILY IS GOIN TO BE THE GOOD THINGS IS I WON'T HAVE TO STAY I CAN GO N MAKE A NEW ONE WITH MY WIFE#FOR ME BUT MY SIBLINGS ARE FUCKED AND ANYTIME I WANT TO VISIT MY FAMILY YANDERE GOLDEN RETRIEVER BITCH WILL BE THERE WORMING HWR WAY IN#SHES CONSTANTLY CALLING N TEXTING MY DAD NONSTOP OF SHE'S NOT NEXT TO HIM AND IF HE CAN'T RESPOND INSTANT SHE FREAKS OUT N BUGS ME
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Today was absolutely agonizing, but now I just have to get through tomorrow and then I can rest.
#except not really#my mom made plans with family for the weekend#so. I won't actually be allowed to rest#I'm gonna have to entertain the family#and it's not like I can hang back and just eat while being around them#for some reason the family focuses on me when they come over#and they make me do most of the talking and entertaining#which is just exhausting. I didn't ask for any of this. I just want to lie on my bed for 24 hours straight. sleep maybe.#I barely feel human these days. I really truly do not have the energy for any of this#but. that's irrelevant. I'm gonna have to muster the energy up. one way or another.#I feel like everything I post lately is just a bummer. I don't mean for that to be the case. I just don't know how to be happy rn#everyone needs something from me. and I've got nothing left to give
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still annoyed with what my coworker said to me at work today
#lex waffles#work saga#she's so fucking judgemental every time we have a conversation about food#but this time it was directly at me#'you don't eat healthy food' & her response being 'no you don't' when i say i do ????? fuck off#yeah i don't have the best diet i won't lie but who the fuck is she to be judgy about it and tell me i don't eat healthy things???#she's such a pureist#like go drink your herbs and shit and leave me the fuck alone karen 😒#like she's cut out so much out of her diet because of no reason whatsoever because she thinks that's what's good for her and i'm like 😒#like every damn time she's got to make some sort of judgemental comment towards at least one of us every time#like fuck off#i'm a fussy eater a lot of it has to do with sensory issues but she doesn't know that nor cares#it also hasn't helped that the topic of me being a fussy eater has suddenly become the like butt of the joke every time now too???#like yes i don't eat a lot of variety of food or am very specific about which brands of food i eat i KNOW#but at least i'm eating something ????#anyways needed to get that off my chest because it's annoyed me all damn day#and this was at the start of my work shift lmfao
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Writing Shadow Ops lore is pretty fun actually
#by which i mean lore i just made up lmao#i have been reading the wiki + watching arena cutscenes to try get as much lore as i can#but there's only so much out there u know#plus its fun to imagine how the organization has evolved since arena#obvs this is for captain so the organization is at least 20+ years old?#but yeah.#i won't lie its pretty damn basic because im kinda just messing around at the moment#but still pretty fun#its also for a post captain story that kinda uhm popped into my head recently#set a few years after captain#tbh i dont know if i'll ever like talk about it because it is so self indulgent and its one of those it started as a joke but now its not#and so obvs inspired by a series that i am kinda fixated on atm that im a litte embarrassed 💀#but eh its all for my own amusement anyway so live laugh love besties am i right#<- im sorry i am unironically obsessed with saying live laugh love its just so funny to me#anyways i do wish we got more on the shadow ops in game and like what kinda things they do but ig ill just run with what i have
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Always lowkey hated how he stepped back and didn’t go to man city in 2020.. but right this moment? I’m absolutely mad that he didn’t go. Because if he had pushed harder against barto and not been the sentimental guy, we wouldn’t be here right now.. moving to mls when he still has so much football in him. ugh. And i thought it couldn’t get worse than psg. Welp, he proved me wrong.
#got this ask before messi's interview dropped so i'm sure you've softened up to him a lil anon lol#(it's okay we were all mad and confused at the beginning)#but yeah im DEFINITELY still thinking abt 2020#abt pep flying to barcelona in the middle of covid to meet with messi#abt manuel estiarte saying 'now it's our turn to make you [messi] happy!' on his ig#i think abt it A Lot. abt all the alternative timelines. so many missed opportunities...#i can't express with words how much i hate barça bc even now in big 2023#messi loved them so MUCH he didn't even LOOK at those other offers from europe. was one of them mancity?#if it was i hope pep never ever reveals it bc the possibility of messi rejecting city for barça for a THIRD TIME#would genuinely make me noose myself#bc i won't even lie one last reunion between them is the closure i needed. something. anything#and now it's gone. not to be dramatic but i will forever be in mourning#asks
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